Category: Humor

Mattijs‘s co-worker was responsible for an HTML-to-PDF converter that was used internally. While TRWTF is always going to be PDFs, there were some odd choices used in the converter, starting with the function named ConvertTagsToLowerCase.

private static string ConvertTagsToLowerCase(string RichText)
{
        
        char[] array = new char[RichText.Length];
        int arrayIndex = 0;
        bool inside = false;
        StringBuilder sb = new StringBuilder();
        for (int i = 0; i < RichText.Length; i++)
        {
                char let = RichText[i];
                if (let == '<')
                {
                        inside = true;
                        
                        sb.Remove(0, sb.ToString().Length);
                        continue;
                }
                if (let == '>')
                {
                        inside = false;
                       
                        array[arrayIndex] = '<';
                        arrayIndex++;
                        string HTMLInside = sb.ToString().ToLower();
                        for (int j = 0; j < HTMLInside.Length; j++)
                        {
                                array[arrayIndex] = HTMLInside[j];
                                arrayIndex++;
                        }
                        array[arrayIndex] = '>';
                        arrayIndex++;
                        continue;
                }
                if (!inside)
                {
                        array[arrayIndex] = let;
                        arrayIndex++;
                }
                else
                {
                        
                        sb.Append(let);
                }
        }
        return new string(array, 0, arrayIndex);
}

So, the first question is: why do we need to do this? While HTML tags are by convention lower case, it doesn’t (and shouldn’t) really matter. But let’s set that aside, and walk through the code.

It’s easiest to understand this code by going from the bottom up. If they’re “inside” (of an HTML tag), they append the character to a string builder. Otherwise, they copy the character into our output array.

When we encounter an <, we are now “inside” an HTML tag, so we clear the string builder. We do this by Removeing every character out to its length, instead of using the Clear method, which is a strange choice clearly driven by not reading the docs.

Finally, when we encounter an >, we are no longer inside an HTML tag. We turn the string builder into a string, and then lowercase it. Now, we copy all the text from that string back into our output array… one character at a time.

And then, of course, as the cherry on top of this, is the misleading comment: remove any double tags which are not in supported tags. I assume this is meant to be marked as a TODO, but I have no idea. It certainly isn’t something happening here. Maybe it’s a prerequisite?

What puzzles me about this code is that they use both a string builder and an array of characters. The obvious “solution” with their knowledge is to just convert the string to an array, modify each character in place, and then return the new string. That’s at least simpler.

If this code is necessary at all, it’s because something they’re using to parse HTML is itself broken, and expecting a specific casing for tags. But the code itself is a terrible way to solve this problem.

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CALL RON DESANTIS GOVERNOR GROOMER

If you’re a big lefty liberal patriot like me,
You probably watch way too much MSNBC.
It’s not the shows or the hosts that I dislike,
It’s MSNBC’s advertisers that make me gripe
Lume ads have made MSNBC unwatchable.
Demonstrating pussy deodorant applications
Every 10 minutes on TV is f**king disgusting!
LumeStarterPack.com is not the solution for
Your swampy vagina discouraging inhalation
Take a bath after your hourly masturbation!
Speaking of stench-ridden Florida snatches,
Republitarded racist Governor Ron DeSantis
Is so stupid he said slavery gave job skills?!
Like what?! How to rape slaves that you kill?
Gov. Ron DeSantis (R-FL) is a sexual abuser
Which is why he’s called Governor Groomer.
Getting underage girls drunk all of the time,
But Ron’s micropenis they still cannot find.

Jake Pickering
Arcata, CA, USA

P.S. — You can find out more about me and my widely published writings by clicking on the link: https://muckrack.com/jake-pickering-1

John likes to write about all kinds of things. So he does. You’re reading one now – enjoy!

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Signed: Jake Pickering

If you’re planning a heist, charming the guard dog might be the way to go. In July, a low-level criminal was trying to make a quick steal when he fell victim to the cutest guard dog ever.

The suspected San Diego bike burglar was caught on camera stealing a family’s electric bike from an open garage when the family’s ‘fearsome’ golden retriever popped in to investigate. The thief got away, but not before getting a few belly rubs in.

A common pattern is “global error handlers”- functions you call in your catch block that do some task, usually logging, when an exception occurs. Given that exception handling frequently involves a fair bit of repeated code, centralizing that isn’t a terrible idea. So when Magnus found code like this in the codebase, he didn’t think much of it:

public List<ErrandComboClass> GetErrandCombo()
{
    List<ErrandComboClass> list = null;
    try
    {
        using (MyEntities my = new MyEntities())
        {
            list = my.Errand.Select(x => new ErrandComboClass { ID = (int)x.Id, Name = x.Dnr }).OrderBy(x => x.Name).ToList();
        }
    }
    catch (Exception ex)
    {
        ExceptionHelper.CatchError(ex);
    }

    return list;
}

I can’t say I love the naming conventions, but it’s a pretty straight forward C# Linq method, projecting and sorting data. I don’t think that the ToList should be there, because we could be leveraging lazy evaluation (or maybe we shouldn’t, I don’t know their access patterns, but at a guess, lazy would be better here). Anything goes wrong, we pass the error to our global exception handler.

This exception handler was called everywhere. So what did it do?

public static class ExceptionHelper
{
    public static void CatchError(Exception ex)
    {
        string s = ex.ToString();
    }       
}

Oh, nothing. It does (basically) nothing. Presumably, once upon a time, this was meant to be an error handling framework that they’d hang a lot of functionality off of- but that never happened. This was their production code, and this was their error handling solution.

Making fun of the headlines today, so you don’t have to

The news, even that about Kylie Jenner, doesn’t need to be complicated and confusing; that’s what any new release from Microsoft is for. And, as in the case with anything from Microsoft, to keep the news from worrying our pretty little heads over, remember something new and equally indecipherable will come out soon:

Really all you need to do is follow one simple rule: barely pay attention and jump to conclusions. So, here are some headlines today and my first thoughts:

Kylie Jenner is again facing backlash for denying she’s had plastic surgery

It’s hard to tell if she’s lying with her face unable move.

Trump’s been indicted three times

… Next one comes with a medium fries and large drink.

Musk threatens to sue researchers who documented the rise in hateful tweets

… I think they’re not called Tweets, anymore, but XCrements.

Hunter Biden: The struggles and scandals of the US president’s son

Hunter Biden is the Roger Clinton of Billy Carters.

Kim Kardashian’s dating history is genuinely full of plot twists

That’s because she doesn’t have a life she has ‘continued next weeks.’

William Shatner calls the U.S. government’s UFO hearings ‘ridiculous’

In other words, ‘Star Dreck.’

Leprosy cases surging in Central Florida: CDC

DeSantis has taken the state so far backward, even the diseases are like Spain’s still in charge.

Former porn performer pleads guilty to DUI

She’ll be done with traffic school in no time if they have oral exams.

US Economy added 187,000 jobs in July

That’s actually six, if you readjust it for jobs not taken by Ryan Seacrest.

Taylor Swift is on the ‘Era’s Tour’

While Kid Rock is on the ‘Error’s Tour.’

RFK Jr. complained about not getting Secret Service protection. The truth is very few candidates do

Although, I do hear there’s a vaccine for that.

Florida has “effectively” banned AP Psychology from being taught in schools, according to a statement from the College Board

That’s crazy!

Mexico’s president offers to buy US company’s coastal property for $375 million to end dispute

Wall extra.

Alan Dershowitz says Trump conviction will be overturned by the Supreme Court

… Yeah, but he didn’t really mean it because he had on his underwear …

Paul Lander is not sure which he is proudest of — winning the Noble Peace Prize or sending Congolese gynecologist Dr. Denis Mukwege to accept it on his behalf, bringing to light the plight of African women in war-torn countries. In his non-daydreaming hours, Paul has written for Weekly Humorist, National Lampoon, American Bystander, Huff Post Comedy, McSweeney’s, Bombeck Writers Workshop Blog and the Humor Times, written and/or produced for multiple TV shows and written standup material that’s been performed on Maher, The Daily Show, Colbert, Kimmel, etc. Now, on to Paul’s time-commanding Special Forces in Khandahar… (See all of Paul’s “Ripping the Headlines Today” columns here.)

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