ReportWire

Category: Humor

Humor | ReportWire publishes the latest breaking U.S. and world news, trending topics and developing stories from around globe.

  • Efficient Workers Get Punished With More Work

    Efficient Workers Get Punished With More Work

    [ad_1]

    If recruiters would value honesty instead of predefined bullshit answers that sound good, they would totally hire her. Never be so efficient that you get punished with more work, be only efficient enough to not get fired.

    The post Efficient Workers Get Punished With More Work first appeared on Crazy Funny Pictures.

    [ad_2]

    liver

    Source link

  • Andy Marlette for Nov 09, 2023 – Andy Marlette, Humor Times

    Andy Marlette for Nov 09, 2023 – Andy Marlette, Humor Times

    [ad_1]

    Born and raised by underpaid public school teachers in Sanford, Fla., Andy Marlette graduated from the University of Florida and became staff editorial cartoonist at the Pensacola News Journal in 2007.

    Marlette received a priceless editorial cartoon education while living with his uncle and Pulitzer Prize-winning cartoonist Doug Marlette in Hillsborough, N.C. Doug’s tragic death in July of 2007 made evermore poignant the elder Marlette’s fierce and faithful devotion to the art form of editorial cartooning as a cornerstone of American free speech. With this in mind, Andy works daily to learn and uphold the disciplines and values passed on to him by his late uncle.

    Andy’s editorial cartoons have become both hated and adored by daily readers. His work has been awarded by the Florida Society of Newspaper Editors for best editorial cartoons on state issues and former Governor Charlie Crist referred to himself regularly as Marlette’s biggest fan, despite the fact that he was also regularly a target in cartoons.?  

    Marlette has also illustrated two published children’s books co-authored by Orlando Sentinel sports columnist Mike Bianchi, as well as a recently published children’s book about a carrot-eating dog titled “Harry Loves Carrots.”

    [ad_2]

    Andy Marlette

    Source link

  • Mike Luckovich for Nov 09, 2023 – Mike Luckovich, Humor Times

    Mike Luckovich for Nov 09, 2023 – Mike Luckovich, Humor Times

    [ad_1]

    Mike Luckovich of the Atlanta Constitution received two amazing honors in 2006, winning both a Pulitzer Prize and the Reuben award for Outstanding Cartoonist of the Year. This was the second Pulitzer for Luckovich; his first was awarded in 1995. He had previously received the Reuben award for Editorial Cartooning in 2001, but this was his first time to be named the overall outstanding cartoonist by a group of his peers. The Reuben awards are distributed each year by the National Cartoonists Society and are considered professional cartooning’s highest honor.

    Impressive as these achievements are, they are only the latest in a long line of awards for Luckovich. He was a runner-up for the Pulitzer in 1987 before garnering the 1995 win.  In 1989, he won the Overseas Press Club’s award for the “Best Cartoons on Foreign Affairs for 1989,” and in 1991, he was awarded the National Headliners award for editorial cartoonists. In 1994, a Luckovich cartoon was selected by voters in a Newsweek magazine poll as one of the four best editorial cartoons of the year.

    After freelancing and selling life insurance to make ends meet following his graduation from the University of Washington in 1982, Luckovich landed his first cartooning job at the Greenville News in South Carolina. After nine months at the News, Luckovich was hired by The Times-Picayune in New Orleans, where he stayed for four years before moving on to Atlanta.

    Luckovich’s cartoons, syndicated nationally by Creators Syndicate, appear in more than 350 daily publications, including The Washington Post,The San Diego Union-Tribune, The Denver Post, Newsday, New York Post, The Cleveland Plain-Dealer, The Dallas Morning News, the Boston Globe, the Seattle Times, the Los Angeles Times, the Chicago Tribune, the Nashville Tennessean and the Houston Chronicle, and are reprinted regularly in Time, Newsweek and the New York Times.

    Luckovich and his wife, Margo, have four children. His hobbies include exercising and collecting unique ties.

    [ad_2]

    Mike Luckovich

    Source link

  • On the Border of Badness

    On the Border of Badness

    [ad_1]

    The WebForms APIs in ASP .Net tried to make web programming look like native programming- you designed pages in a WYSIWYG editor, and bound event handlers to controls, and pretended like the request/response cycle didn’t exist. It was a bit of a mess.

    One of the ways it was messy was that you now had two different approaches to styling elements in your UI. You could go the route of using CSS, like a normal web page. But every web Control object also exposed a bunch of properties that you could access directly from your server-side code, allowing you to do things like myControl.BorderColor = Color.Red.

    All that’s fine and good, or fine and bad, if we’re being honest, but it brings us to Leandro‘s submission. While trawling through a legacy code base, this little snippet leap out:

    protected void BorderColourSet(Control ctrl, Color col)
    {
    	switch (ctrl.GetType().Name.ToString())
    	{
    		case "TextBox":
    			((TextBox)ctrl).BorderColor = col;
    			break;
    		case "RadioButtonList":
    			((RadioButtonList)ctrl).BorderColor = col;
    			break;
    		case "DropDownList" :
    			((DropDownList)ctrl).BorderColor = col;
    			break;
    		case "CheckBox" :
    			((CheckBox)ctrl).BorderColor = col;
    			break;
    	}
    }
    

    Someone didn’t understand how inheritance and polymorphism worked. BorderColor is a property of Control, and gets inherited down into all other controls. So, if nothing else, the extra casts in each branch are unnecessary.

    Now, there’s a world where this function is doing validation, by ensuring that you are only setting the border color on these specific controls- perhaps they don’t want the border color to be changed on buttons, for example? If you pass in anything not in this list, the function does nothing. Even then, I’m sure there are more elegant ways to express that restriction.

    Elegant ways which are irrelevant- they were not attempting to express a restriction here. What brought Leandro to this snippet was tracking down a bug where buttons weren’t getting their border color set properly. It seems that the original developer wrote this without thinking about buttons.

    And once you realize that this was only meant to be a convenience function wrapping the BorderColor property, you have the second realization that- this function is useless. ctrl.BorderColor = col would have accomplished the same thing, more simply and clearly- which is what Leandro refactored the code to do.

    [Advertisement]
    Continuously monitor your servers for configuration changes, and report when there’s configuration drift. Get started with Otter today!

    [ad_2]

    Remy Porter

    Source link

  • Careful what you wish for

    Careful what you wish for

    [ad_1]

    Tags: humor, meme, funny, dark humor

    1128 points, 59 comments.

    [ad_2]

    Source link

  • It’s happening!

    It’s happening!

    [ad_1]

    I got out of prison 4 months ago. I’ve been living with my grandma (God bless her) so I’ve been able to save up some money and this is the first car I’ve ever bought!
    Just wanted to say to y’all to keep your heads up and trust that your effort will pay off in the end. I was riding my bike 15 miles a day to and from work and I was able to pay cash for this car. It was $1200 to get my license reinstated after a federal drug indictment and the car was $3800 after taxes.
    Don’t ever give up! Don’t ever lose hope!

    [ad_2]

    Source link

  • Thanksgiving jokes your dad is sure to tell at the dinner table (25 GIFs)

    Thanksgiving jokes your dad is sure to tell at the dinner table (25 GIFs)

    [ad_1]

    If your uncle isn’t buzzing off 12 Miller Lites and your father isn’t going full dad mode with his jokes, then you’re doing Thanksgiving wrong. We’ve collected some of the most insane, wholesome, cringeworthy, and chaotic Thanksgiving jokes for you and yours to enjoy around the dinner table.

    Enjoy!

    [ad_2]

    Zach Nading

    Source link

  • How Grandma Got “Ready” For Christmas Morning

    How Grandma Got “Ready” For Christmas Morning

    [ad_1]

    “Circa 1986. My grandma had two cups of coffee and a pack of cigs that Christmas morning.”

    (submitted by IG @barbelle1207)

    The post I’ll Be Buzzed For Christmas appeared first on AwkwardFamilyPhotos.com.

    [ad_2]

    Team Awkward

    Source link

  • John Deering for Nov 08, 2023 – John Deering, Humor Times

    John Deering for Nov 08, 2023 – John Deering, Humor Times

    [ad_1]

    John Deering is chief editorial cartoonist for the Arkansas Democrat-Gazette, the state’s largest newspaper. Five times a week, his cartoon comments entertain (or sometimes enrage) readers throughout Arkansas, in Washington, D.C., and across the country.

    Winner of the National Press Foundation’s 1997 Berryman Award, Deering also gained top honors in the 1994 national John Fischetti Cartoon Competition and was the seven-time winner of the Arkansas Press Association’s Best Editorial Cartoonist award.

    Deering’s work is collected in two books: Deering’s State of Mind (1990) and We Knew Bill Clinton … Bill Clinton Was a Friend of Ours (1993, with Vic Harville). He is a 14-year member of the American Association of Editorial Cartoonists.

    Born in 1956 in Little Rock, Deering has been drawing since his childhood fascination with science fiction and dinosaurs — subjects he made into comic books. After studying art with Truman Alston, Deering focused on commercial and fine art at the University of Arkansas at Little Rock. Along the way, he found his strength in interlocking art with comment.

    At the Democrat-Gazette, Deering advanced from layout artist to editorial cartoonist in 1981-82. His promotion to chief editorial cartoonist in 1988 made his cartoons the state’s best-known. Deering also creates the comic panel Too Much Coffee.

    He and his wife, Kathy, have a daughter and two sons, and live in Little Rock. He still draws dinosaurs.

    Check out his comic strips, Zack Hill and Strange Brew.

    [ad_2]

    John Deering

    Source link

  • Americans Explain How They Would End The Israel-Hamas War

    Americans Explain How They Would End The Israel-Hamas War

    [ad_1]

    “Off the top of my head? I’d probably concentrate billions of dollars into the hands of a few international defense contractors and I suppose I’d call them Raytheon, Boeing, and Lockheed Martin, and then—gosh, I don’t know—I’d let them dictate U.S. foreign policy through gratuitous lobbying, and—just spitballing here—destabilize and antagonize nearby nations to protect our oil interests while providing unconditional aid to Israel, and then I guess I’d enable those defense companies to indiscriminately bomb the shit out of Gaza, and on top of all that, I guess I’d write a $14.5 billion check to Netanyahu for good measure.”

    [ad_2]

    Source link

  • UniQQue Naming

    UniQQue Naming

    [ad_1]

    The application Zach B found himself supporting needed to accept file uploads. At one point, someone decided to just drop all the files in the same directory, so they needed to find a way to ensure that there were no name collisions.

    They wrote this:

    /**
    * $extra is any additional identifying information to be appended to the filename.
    */
    function filename($extra = '')
    {
            return maketoken(3) . md5(uniqid(time())) . $extra;
    }
    

    $extra is going to be the actual filename, which if it were me, I'd append the unique fields so the name remains sortable, not prepend them- but I suspect the developer responsible didn't understand how to split the extension off.

    Then, we pass time() to uniqid. Now, uniqid already uses the system clock to generate a unique identifier, and the parameter you pass in is prepended to the unique identifier- so that generates a string that is the current time followed by some hex digits which also represent the current time.

    uniqid is not a UUID function, so it actually doesn't guarantee uniqueness. PHP doesn't have a built-in UUID function, but this comment on uniqid suggests one.

    But anyway, we then pass that to an MD5 function, to hash that unique identifier a bit more. And then there's that maketoken thing. I wonder what that does?

    function maketoken($howmany)
    {
            $scratch = '';
           
            for ($i = 0; $i < $howmany; $i++)
            {
                    $character = rand(65, 90);
                   
                    if ($character == 83 || $character == 67 || $character == 75)
                    {
                            $character = 81;
                            $scratch.= chr($character);
                    }
            }
           
            return $scratch;
    }
    

    This generates up to $howmany random characters. These characters are limited to UPPER CASE ASCII characters, and if the generated character is "S", "C", or "K", we turn the character into a "Q" and put that "Q" in our output string. So the output of maketoken in the filename function will be either "", "Q", "QQ", or "QQQ".

    Now, presumably, the original developer meant to put that append outside of the if statement. Then you'd get a 3 character string that never contains "S", "C", or "K". Why do we want that? No idea. I have no idea what the point of any of this is.

    [Advertisement]
    Otter – Provision your servers automatically without ever needing to log-in to a command prompt. Get started today!

    [ad_2]

    Remy Porter

    Source link

  • Any female to confirm?

    Any female to confirm?

    [ad_1]

    Tags: relationship

    8868 points, 734 comments.

    [ad_2]

    Source link

  • Isaac Newton: I Like Them Thicc Af

    Isaac Newton: I Like Them Thicc Af

    [ad_1]

    If you are wondering how Isaac Newton came up with his law of universal gravitation, wonder no more. This meme explains it in great detail. You’re welcome.

    The post Isaac Newton: I Like Them Thicc Af first appeared on Crazy Funny Pictures.

    [ad_2]

    liver

    Source link

  • A Photo That Only My Grandma Could Take

    A Photo That Only My Grandma Could Take

    [ad_1]

    “My grandma is a little nutty.”

    (submitted by Kort)

    The post Busted appeared first on AwkwardFamilyPhotos.com.

    [ad_2]

    Team Awkward

    Source link

  • Trump Courtroom Drama in Pre-Production – Bill Tope, Humor Times

    Trump Courtroom Drama in Pre-Production – Bill Tope, Humor Times

    [ad_1]

    Studios are said to be negotiating with the principals of the New York v. Donald Trump case for the rights to a courtroom drama.

    Columbia Pictures and Castle Rock Entertainment are in discussions regarding a potential courtroom drama with the principals of the State of New York v. Donald Trump fraud case. The ex-president is on trial there for alleged fraudulent business dealings.

    Queen Latifah courtroom drama
    “Queen Latifah would make a great A.G. Letitia James,” says Rob Reiner. Photo by Sister Circle TV, CC BY 3.0.

    Castle Rock and Columbia are the same entities who produced the much-acclaimed film, “A Few Good Men” in 1992. Observers have drawn parallels between the fictional and the real life courtroom dramas.

    Rob Reiner, who directed the original film, is said to interested in the proposed second movie, which is reported to have a budget of $250 million and a working title of “A Few Big Schmucks.”

    The cast has not yet been announced, but Columbia is reportedly in talks with Sean Penn to play the ex-president; Stormy Daniels to portray Ivanka Trump; and the role of New York Attorney General Letitia James, who is prosecuting the case, is reportedly Queen Latifah’s, “if she wants it.”

    Jack Nicholson is interested in playing Trump, citing his starring role in 1980’s “The Shining” as proof of his ability to play deranged characters, but he was dismissed by the former-president out-of-hand as “just too damn old.” Trump is said to prefer Brad Pitt.

    Studio officials are also considering making “A Few Good Schmucks” into a multi-media or hybrid production and portraying Eric and Donald Trump Jr. by cartoon icons Heckle and Jeckle, the yellow-billed magpies. Deliberations are reportedly underway with Terrytoons and CBS.

    Bill TopeBill Tope
    Latest posts by Bill Tope (see all)
    ShareShare

    [ad_2]

    Bill Tope

    Source link

  • Porn Stars React To House Speaker Mike Johnson Abstaining From Pornography

    Porn Stars React To House Speaker Mike Johnson Abstaining From Pornography

    [ad_1]

    In a recently surfaced video from 2022, House Speaker Mike Johnson reveals that he and his son use anti-porn software to monitor and eliminate each other’s temptations to view erotica and sexually explicit material. The Onion asked porn stars what they thought about the speaker abstaining from porn, and this is what…

    Read more…

    [ad_2]

    Source link

  • Social Justice Kittens Will Make You a Better Person

    Social Justice Kittens Will Make You a Better Person

    [ad_1]

    If you are confused how to be inclusive, understanding and loving part of the society, social justice kittens are here to help. Just keep an open mind and really listen what they have to say. Also you can help them spread their message by ordering a calendar on Amazon. Your money would be spent to make the world a better place!

    Social justice kitten has something to say to you.

    Social justice kitten has something to say to you.

    Social justice kitten has something to say to you.

    Social justice kitten has something to say to you.

    Social justice kitten has something to say to you.

    Social justice kitten has something to say to you.

    Social justice kitten has something to say to you.

    Social justice kitten has something to say to you.

    Social justice kitten has something to say to you.

    Social justice kitten has something to say to you.

    Social justice kitten has something to say to you.

    Social justice kitten has something to say to you.

    Social justice kitten has something to say to you.

    Social justice kitten has something to say to you.

    Social justice kitten has something to say to you.

    Social justice kitten has something to say to you.

    Social justice kitten has something to say to you.

    Social justice kitten has something to say to you.

    Social justice kitten has something to say to you.

    Social justice kitten has something to say to you.

    Social justice kitten has something to say to you.

    Social justice kitten has something to say to you.

    If you are a true social justice warrior and wish to help these kittens spread their loving message, you can get this calendar on Amazon. Please note that this site is reader-supported. When you buy through links on our site, we may earn an affiliate commission. As an Amazon Associate we earn from qualifying purchases.

    [ad_2]

    liver

    Source link