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“I was either 2 or 3 and was visiting ‘Santa’ at my dad’s job.”
(submitted by Dan)
The post Santa’s Little Helper appeared first on AwkwardFamilyPhotos.com.
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Team Awkward
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Category: Humor
Humor | ReportWire publishes the latest breaking U.S. and world news, trending topics and developing stories from around globe.
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Reverse Mohawk: The Greatest Haircut Since Mullet
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Don’t they just look fabulous? Why get a regular boring mohawk when you can get a reverse mohawk and become the coolest guy in the neighborhood? Scroll down to see the finest examples and let us know in the comments how much do we had to pay you to make you to turn your hairstyle into such abomination!
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liver
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World Touched By Harrison Ford’s Words To His Wife At 2024 Critics Choice Awards
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There’s no denying that Harrison Ford is one of the biggest stars to ever grace the silver screen, but at the 2024 Critics Choice Awards, held last night at the Barker Hangar at Santa Monica Airport, director James Mangold introduced him as more than that.
He called the actor’s legacy, which includes playing Han Solo and Indiana Jones, as well as parts in other blockbusters including Apocalypse Now, Blade Runner, and The Fugitive, that of a “hypergiant star… a star so big, he contains multitudes. A star so unique he attracts other stars, a star so bright he has warmed each of our lives in this room, in our audience, and, likely, on this planet.”
Harrison Ford was honored with a Career Achievement Award during last night’s Critics Choice Awards
Image credits: Gilbert Flores/Getty Images
Along with a standing ovation, Ford received a Career Achievement Award, which many online have suggested was long overdue.
Yet it was Ford’s humility that really stole the show and has had everyone on social media applauding. The 81-year-old actor, whose career started in the ’60s, began his speech by pointing out the diversity of the other award recipients and attendees.
“I’m really happy to see what our business is turning into,” he said. “And all of the talented people who are getting opportunities that probably would not have existed in the early part of my career. I’m very happy about that.”
The legendary actor received a standing ovation after a video played highlighting some of his biggest roles in Hollywood
Image credits: The CW
Image credits: The CW
He also credited a large part of his career’s success to those in the industry with less visibility. “I’m here because of a combination of luck and the work of wonderful directors, writers, and filmmakers,” he said.
“I feel enormously lucky and happy for this honor.” He also recognized the “many fine actors” he’s worked with in his 55 feature films and said, “I’m happy to have had the opportunities I’ve had, and I’m grateful.”
The 81-year-old star got emotional as he thanked his “lovely wife” Calista Flockhart for her constant support throughout his lengthy career
Image credits: The CW
By far the most moving part of his speech, though, was the tribute to his wife, Calista Flockhart, who received an ovation herself. Ford said the 59-year-old actress, known for her titular role in the hit ’90s TV show Ally McBeal, “supports me when I need a lot of support—and I need a lot of support.”
Ford and Flockhart have been together for over 20 years since meeting at the 2002 Golden Globe Awards
Image credits: Christopher Polk/Getty Images
Image credits: The CW
The couple have been together for over 20 years since meeting at the 2002 Golden Globe Awards, where Flockhart won Best Actress. As many Internet commenters pointed out, that’s a long time by Hollywood standards, and several people attributed the successful relationship to Ford’s loving attitude, even referring to the two as “soulmates.”
Ford and Flockhart married in 2010 in Santa Fe, New Mexico, and they have an adopted son together, Liam Flockhart Ford.
“It’s nice to see a long Hollywood marriage,” a reader commented
[ad_2] Karina Babenok
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Let's Send All Billionaires to Mars! – Jim Hightower, Humor Times
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Why not just send our “genius” billionaires to Mars, and let them report back?
Unfortunately, in the short time we homo sapiens have existed on this 4.5-billion-year-old Planet Earth, we have trashed the place. Climate change, deforestation, desertification, plastics in everything, etc.
Fortunately, though, we large-brained hominids have evolved an almost-magical resource that promises to be our salvation: Billionaires!
One of the priceless benefits of amassing a multibillion-dollar, self-regenerating pile of wealth is that it automatically establishes you as “a Genius.” Never mind that you’ve most likely acquired your stash through some combination of inheritance, grift, rank exploitation, tax dodging and such; you’re suddenly treated as a savant whose most fanciful nonsense is now taken seriously by the establishment.
Thus, we presently have two overstuffed money hogs, Elon Musk and Jeff Bezos, preaching that Earth is a lost cause. But, no problem, for they are designing space technologies that will let a cadre of select humans escape doom by colonizing the Moon and Mars. Using untold billions of our tax dollars, the two are in a PR race to land their spaceships first. But — hey, bozos! — what then? You think our blue-green planet is hell, try living with no air, water, soil, little gravity and zero protection from the incessant bombardment of cosmic radiation.
Well, postulate the billionaire space cadets, “we” (actually meaning us taxpayers) will just geoengineer Mars and the Moon, terraforming them into an Earthlike oasis. But, wait — as astrophysicist Neil DeGrasse Tyson pointed out a decade ago — “If you had the power to terraform Mars into Earth, then you have the power to turn Earth back to Earth.”
Tyson later said he’d only go to Mars if the designer of the colony “had sent their mother first.” Nice… but I have no doubt Musk and Bezos would gladly sacrifice their moms to advance their egos.
Forget Millionaires. A Few Billionaires Are Now Stealing Our Country
In the serious business of politics, a little humor can be your best friend.
I saw its impact 30 years ago in Austin when a group of young, irreverent democracy activists decided to try limiting corporations that were drowning our local elections in their special-interest campaign cash. The upstart group named their grassroots effort a name that was a bit whimsical, yet pointed: “Austinites for a Little Less Corruption.”
It caught on. Even though the entire corporate, political and media establishment united in furious opposition to the reform, 70% of voters rather joyously shouted, “YES!”
Now more than ever, we need to rally grassroots Americans in a high-spirited, openly rebellious campaign to save our people’s historic democratic values. An autocratic coterie of plutocratic supremists with unlimited corporate funding already dominates our elections, public policy, agenda and our highest courts. It’s not a secret conspiracy; they’re quite open about it!
But forget the days of million-dollar donors; the arsenal of the systemic corruptors has now been nuclearized. For example, Charles Koch has just injected $5 billion in his 2024 political operation. Tim Dunn, an ultra-right-wing Texas oil baron and extremist GOP sugar daddy, has just sold his fracking empire for $12 billion, gaining a new gusher of cash to weaponize his intention to impose laissez-faire rule over America.
It’s hard to visualize how much more anti-democratic firepower one gets by spending billions instead of mere millions. Think of the difference not in terms of dollars, but time. If you have a million seconds, that’s 11 days. But a billion seconds — that’s more than 31 years!
We can have no progress — no democracy — without getting corporate money out of America’s political system. For info and action, go to citizen.org.
National radio commentator, writer, public speaker, and author of the book, “Swim Against The Current: Even A Dead Fish Can Go With The Flow,” Jim Hightower has spent three decades battling the Powers That Be on behalf of the Powers That Ought To Be – consumers, working families, environmentalists, small businesses, and just-plain-folks.Twice elected Texas Agriculture Commissioner, Hightower is a modern-day Johnny Appleseed, spreading the message of progressive populism all across the American grassroots.
He broadcasts daily radio commentaries that are carried in more than 150 commercial and public stations and on the web.
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Jim Hightower
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Scientists Find Clues About Why More Northern European Descendants Get MS
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Findings from a project comparing modern DNA with samples from ancient human teeth and bones allowed scientists to find disease-linked genes following prehistoric migrations, tracing a path back to the Bronze Age Yamnaya people who probably carried the genetic mutation to protect the nomadic herders from infections carried by their livestock. What do you think?
“Damn. I really wanted to blame my mother’s poor prenatal diet.”
Gavin Perkins, Papal Understudy
“Are we positive ancient people weren’t designing viruses in labs?”
Kara Courtwright, Systems Analyst
“Haven’t Northern Europeans suffered enough?”
Rodney Rabenbauer, Freelance Trucker
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I Wish You Wouldn't Be So Patronising
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What’s patronizing? It’s a linguistic gymnastics routine where one expertly uses big words to explain things to others, as if they were delicate little flowers in need of linguistic baby wipes.
The post I Wish You Wouldn’t Be So Patronising first appeared on Crazy Funny Pictures.
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liver
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You get very strange gifts when you work in a hotel
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A guest of mine who I made a good impression on, apparently, decided to gift me this gold plated dollar bill. It’s legal tender in several places, honest to god, but I’m going to get it graded and then professionally framed and put in my office. With this and the Lions winning tonight, I’m doing pretty damn good lately.
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A Simple List Copy
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Mike‘s team had a new hire. They did great on the interview, really shined in the coding challenges, so it was a no-brainer hire. In the middle of on-boarding, the team got slammed, so this new hire ended up being left to fend for themselves.
This was a mistake.
public class ElementHandler { private final List<Element> elements = new ArrayList<Element>(); public final List<Element> getElements() { final Element[] allElements= elements.toArray(new Element[elements.size()]); final List<Element> result = new ArrayList<Element>(); for(int i =0; i<allElements.length; i++){ result.add(allElements[i]); } return result; } }The
getElementsfunction here looks like a basic accessor method. Clearly, the developer was concerned about just returning a reference to the class’s internal state- a wise concern- and opted to return a copy.They then just failed to use any of the basic .NET Framework methods for making a copy and made their own. Badly.
First, they convert the list
toArray. This does a deep copy on all the elements. Then they iterate across all of those elements to populate a newList, which is the return value.There are some fun .NET internals here- allocating an empty
ArrayListcreates an array list with an internal buffer of 0 elements. When you add the first element, theArrayListcreates a buffer that can hold 4 elements. When that buffer gets filled, theArrayListcreates a new buffer, twice that size, and copies all the elements into the new buffer. Each time the buffer fills up, all the items get copied again.So, depending on how big this input list is, this code could be inserting a lot of copy operations that you never see, copying the same elements over and over again.
What makes this so frustrating is that .NET has a perfectly simple way to create a copy and preallocate an array of the correct size, all in one step:
return new ArrayList<int>(elements)This version has only one copy operation per element in the list, not potentially many. And, honestly, it’s easier to read and clearer about its purpose.
But, I guess the “right” way doesn’t give you the option to stress test the garbage collector.
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Remy Porter
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Mike Luckovich for Jan 14, 2024 – Mike Luckovich, Humor Times
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Mike Luckovich of the Atlanta Constitution received two amazing honors in 2006, winning both a Pulitzer Prize and the Reuben award for Outstanding Cartoonist of the Year. This was the second Pulitzer for Luckovich; his first was awarded in 1995. He had previously received the Reuben award for Editorial Cartooning in 2001, but this was his first time to be named the overall outstanding cartoonist by a group of his peers. The Reuben awards are distributed each year by the National Cartoonists Society and are considered professional cartooning’s highest honor.Impressive as these achievements are, they are only the latest in a long line of awards for Luckovich. He was a runner-up for the Pulitzer in 1987 before garnering the 1995 win. In 1989, he won the Overseas Press Club’s award for the “Best Cartoons on Foreign Affairs for 1989,” and in 1991, he was awarded the National Headliners award for editorial cartoonists. In 1994, a Luckovich cartoon was selected by voters in a Newsweek magazine poll as one of the four best editorial cartoons of the year.
After freelancing and selling life insurance to make ends meet following his graduation from the University of Washington in 1982, Luckovich landed his first cartooning job at the Greenville News in South Carolina. After nine months at the News, Luckovich was hired by The Times-Picayune in New Orleans, where he stayed for four years before moving on to Atlanta.
Luckovich’s cartoons, syndicated nationally by Creators Syndicate, appear in more than 350 daily publications, including The Washington Post,The San Diego Union-Tribune, The Denver Post, Newsday, New York Post, The Cleveland Plain-Dealer, The Dallas Morning News, the Boston Globe, the Seattle Times, the Los Angeles Times, the Chicago Tribune, the Nashville Tennessean and the Houston Chronicle, and are reprinted regularly in Time, Newsweek and the New York Times.
Luckovich and his wife, Margo, have four children. His hobbies include exercising and collecting unique ties.
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Mike Luckovich
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“That Salt Sprinkling Prick”: 50 Celebs That Refused To Let Go Of Their 15 Minutes Of Fame
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Fame is a polarizing topic. Some people wouldn’t want to touch it even with a 10-foot pole. Meanwhile, others aspire to it and would do nearly anything to be in the spotlight for just a while longer. This leads to a bizarre situation where individuals who might have no real ‘call to fame’ or conventional talents end up becoming actual celebrities.
Redditor u/TonyClifton323 sparked an interesting discussion about the people who “most successfully milked” their 15 minutes of fame to entrench their reputations as ‘stars’ for a long time. Scroll down to see what celebs many internet users personally think seized the opportunity best, even if they might not ‘deserve’ all the attention.
Mike Sington, an entertainment, pop culture, and lifestyle expert, was kind enough to share his thoughts about fame with Bored Panda. You’ll find his insights on how to have a healthy relationship with fame, plus why some people don’t think everyone ‘deserves’ attention, as you read on.
Image credits: TonyClifton323
Dr. Phil In 1995, Oprah Winfrey hired Phil McGraw’s legal consulting firm to prepare for the Amarillo Texas beef trial. Winfrey was so impressed with him that she thanked him for her victory in that case, which ended in 1998. Soon after, she invited him to appear on her show, which turned into a recurring segment. He turned that into his own show and now 25 years in the spotlight.
Entertainment and pop culture expert Sington was happy to share his thoughts on how people can forge a healthy relationship with fame. According to Hollywood’s Ultimate Insider, the fundamental thing is to find and maintain a balance between public recognition and one’s personal wellbeing. This will help the person keep their sense of self intact.
According to the expert, “being true to oneself despite public attention” is paramount. Aside from being authentic, it’s also vital to establish some healthy boundaries. These need to clearly separate your public and private life.
Sington told Bored Panda that celebrities can also use their fame “as a platform for positive influence or by contributing to meaningful causes.” So stars should think about what kind of greater purpose all the attention that they’re getting can be used to help.
Yoko Ono. If she hadn’t been with Lennon she would have been a completely forgotten 60’s artist who’s been milking that s**t for decades. At the same time, while the spotlight’s on you, you have to remember to stay grounded and humble. That means feeling gratitude for what you have in life, without feeling like you’re defined solely by fame.
That also means putting in the time and care to nurture the positive relationships you have in your life. Hollywood’s Ultimate Insider Sington warns not to let fame hinder the genuine personal connections that people had made before they started getting public attention.
Meanwhile, new celebrities ought to develop resilience so that they can weather the “ups and downs of public perception and media attention.” Sington also noted that it’s worthwhile to take a moment to think about how fame is transient. Instead, he advises to focus on “long-term personal growth and fulfillment.”
Jon and Kate Gosselin.Only famous because she had a lot of babies and then verbally abused her husband on camera for years.
The kids were adorable, but they should have had 1 television special, saved that money for kids’ college funds or whatever and then disappeared.
Basically anyone who started off with a sex tape leak
Bored Panda was also interested to hear why some people have such strong feelings when they hear about someone who they believe might not ‘deserve’ the recognition they’re getting in the public sphere.
According to entertainment and pop culture expert Sington, there’s a whole host of factors that can influence a reaction like that, from societal values and personal biases to envy and even frustration.
For example, someone might start comparing their own achievements with someone who’s currently in the spotlight. They might feel that they deserve the recognition, not the person in question.
Meanwhile, other individuals are critical because of how a particular celebrity behaves, what their personal beliefs are, and whether they have a “perceived lack of talent.”
Probably Jared from Subway… i believe someone at his university wrote a story about his unusual method of weight loss, which was then picked up by national news outlets, then subway put him in an ad, that was unusually successful, which ended up leading to 15 years of being the face of their brand internationally.Then things went downhill pretty fast from there
There’s a whole bunch of reasons why someone would like to be famous. A lot of them are perfectly natural—even if an obsession with external validation and becoming famous might not be great for your mental and emotional health.
Human beings are fundamentally social creatures. We all want to be loved, adored, and respected by members of our community and strangers alike. A good reputation means more trust and stability in your life. On top of that, this high level of sociability opens you up to more opportunities to meet new people and establish positive relationships. Those, in turn, lead to a healthier, happier, more meaningful life, as shown by research. However, you don’t necessarily have to be famous to reap these benefits.
You can cultivate deep and worthwhile relationships no matter who you are, what you do, and what circumstances you’re in.
Bhad Bhabie, aka Danielle Peskowitz Bregoli “Cashme outside, how ’bout that?” 1 episode on Dr Phil…where he indended to exploit her and trash her on live tv…she just proved receipts for 52 million on OnlyFans and bought a house in Florida for 6.1 million cash. Hate all you want…but I challenge anyone to do better quicker. 😵💫 
Ryan SeacrestNo talent. He hosted EDIT American Idol (not Americas got talent). Then he was everywhere. He will sell anything. He does tons of radio ads. Yet most of the population could do his job with no training. I can’t stand him.
Probably one of the Paul brothers?
Boxing money and WWE fame
Not a fan of either of them but going from vine clips to all that is pretty remarkable
Arguably, being famous can act as a deterrent to quality relationships if you’re not careful. This is because someone who’s in the spotlight tends to spend a lot of time interacting with their fans in order to keep their attention on them. It’s time that’s not spent building those meaningful connections with the people they truly care about.
Not only that, but celebrities sometimes have to deal with people who only pretend to want a real connection. When, in fact, they have a different angle. They might be aiming for money or to share some of that fame. Or they hope to use those celebs to advance their own goals. In short, some fans don’t see stars as actual people. They see them as tools for their own agendas.
Other folks imagine that becoming famous will solve all of their problems, whether that’s financial instability or emotional needs. We all want at least some recognition for our hard work and skills. And let’s be honest, many of us have daydreamed about changing the world and seeing our names in the lights for everything that we’ve accomplished.
However, you can still live a purposeful and happy life without being known all around the globe. It’s being recognized by the people we truly care about and our peers that matters the most. Moreover, you don’t have to rake in millions of dollars every year to be financially stable. A solid and purposeful job with good career prospects is enough. So long as you don’t spend more than you earn, save money every month, and invest part of your wages, you should be fine.
If you’re chasing fame for its own sake, you’re missing the point. Broadly speaking, fame is a byproduct of quality work and skills, whether that’s entertainment, music, dance, art, business, science, or anything else.
If there’s anything to take away here, it is that you should primarily focus on doing a good job in your passion projects and other pursuits. Don’t worry about whether or not you’ll reach celebrity status. Fame comes with its own intense stress, scrutiny, and emotional baggage…
While she did have a fall from grace relatively recently, Colleen Ballinger, aka Miranda Sings, certainly made good use of every second she could squeeze out of her time in the spotlight. 
Guy Fawkes, it’s been over 400 years and we still celebrate him every year in the UK. Not that he lived long enough to enjoy his infamy..
That Canadian youtuber who says “aboot” I’ve been coast to coast in Canada 100X over and the only place I’ve heard anyone say aboot is him and South Park.
Guy FieriHe was a contestant on a reality cooking show in 2005 Food Network.
He went on to win and then parlay that into almost 20 years of hosting shows, multiple restaurants owned and a lot of other successful ventures.
The show he won ran for 14 seasons with 14 winners, does anyone remember the other 13? Guy definitely seized his 15 minutes and ran with it
Ken Jennings. I feel like most people in his situation would have faded into obscurity after finally ending their Jeopardy winning streak. But he’s now hosting the show.
Edit: Yes, I know he was famous for a lot more than “15 minutes” while on his streak. But I kind of expected that fame to go away about 15 minutes after the streak ended.
Bella Poarch She has one of the biggest Tik Toks ever and all she did was shake her head. It became the most liked Tik Tok with over 61M likes and now she’s the 3rd biggest Tik Toker, with 94M followers. Then, she somehow turned that into a music career. One song even charted on the Hot 100 and got a little bit of pop airplay.
I mean this not in a negative way at all, because “milking it” seems negative, but Brittany Broski became a meme for tasting kombucha and then took that opportunity to build an empire. Mad respect. Trisha Paytas. Her growth was bizarre and I honestly have no clue how she was able to land so many acting/reality tv gigs.
Lil Tay
She was a meme for a hot minute. Got ‘exposed’ for being fake. Is apparently trying to make a comeback.
Too many to name Josie Gibson Rylan Clarke although idk if he’s still going or not lmao Any c**t that was on Love Island (Molly Mae and Tommy Fury come to mind) same goes for Instagram influencers James Corden That prime drinking wanker Logan Majority of reality TV “stars” also Katie Price she will literally milk her worn out fame for all its worth whether it’s sex tapes, autobiographies she hasn’t written but she says she has, or numerous sob stories I’ve seen her post videos of her son Harvey when he’s been ill and laying on the sofa trying to sleep but she’s filming it on YouTube for the clout then she’s going on TV with him saying how difficult it is to raise him when she’s sat next to him. She is the dictionary definition of media w***e as well as many others.
Deez Nuts guy. Although he is homeless he still pops up from time to time and he still makes money off a 3 second meme.
I don’t know if it was successful.
That guy who said “You’re breathtaking” to Keanu Reeves certainly milked it.
The Rock. Many wrestlers come and go and are forgotten, even the ones that attempted their luck in Hollywood. But with his charismatic charm The Rock was able to endure and wait out the competition. I mean the dude literally just plays a slightly different version of himself in every movie. Weird Al. A specific style of music and parody should’ve been one note but he has routinely his great parody after great parody mixed with a personality that’s so him that he transcended a one time note
[ad_2] Gabija Saveiskyte
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People Who Are 40 And Over Share Their Biggest Regrets So You Can Learn From Their Mistakes
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Many people enjoy boasting about having zero regrets and standing by every decision they’ve ever made. And while dwelling on the past can be harmful, is it really so bad to reflect on our lives and wish we had done just a few things differently?
Redditors over 40 have been opening up about the biggest regrets they have from their youth, so we’ve gathered some of their thoughts below. Whether they wish they had started a skincare routine sooner or feel that they missed out on valuable time with their parents, we appreciate their honesty. Enjoy reading through and reflecting on your own choices, and be sure to upvote the replies that remind you not to make the same mistakes!
Thinking I needed a romantic partner to be happy. I stayed in an abusive marriage for so long because I couldn’t imagine doing things alone. It is infinitely better to be alone than in a bad relationship. When I choose to be in a relationship again, it will be because I’m happy and compatible with the person, not because I don’t want to be alone.
Not enjoying being single. Looking back my social interactions were centered around finding the one. I should have just enjoyed getting to know people 
Not saving money is a big one. The younger you are simple things like a dollar a day, or 10-20 etc in an account that you don’t withdrawal from. I’m 40 and I regret spending 36 years of my life in the Mormon church.
I wish I would have actually lived my life. I wish I would have had a chance to have a couple of wild years and have fun. Explore my sexuality. Make more diverse friendships. It sounds silly but my biggest one is dressing cute. I am so sad that I wasted my youth wearing knee length shorts and tshirts. I was so young and cute and I wish I could go back and wear a bikini.
I also got married when I was 19. Young marriage is quietly encouraged in the Mormon church. I actually don’t regret that because I adore my husband and we have a fantastic relationship. I do regret making him join the church of course.
Edited to add…it wasn’t about just dressing sexy and showing skin. It’s about being taught that my body wasn’t my own and that it was something dirty that needed to be hidden. My mom altering my prom dress into a matronly monstrosity. It was all the times I was miserable in the summer wearing my magic mormon underwear under my clothes.
Seems so cliche but I did not wear enough sunscreen. I used to do the whole lay out with baby oil so I could get a “savage” tan. How stupid. Now my face looks like a topographic map of California. Wear sunscreen kids! 
Living life on other people’s terms, and not mine. Young people: it’s YOUR life. YOU are entitled to live it the way YOU want. ❤️ 
Stretching and maintaining muscle mass. When I had kids I stopped both and it took a decade to get that back. Treat your body well. Something happens around 38 and the better shape you are in the better your 40’s and after will feel. I wish so badly that I’d connected more with my dad… he loved me so deeply and was so proud, followed all of my accomplishments and supported everything I did, always bragged aboutme.
I never ignored him and we hugged and would chat when I’d come home during/soon after college, but I was just always too busy as I grew oldet… then just like that I’m woken up in the middle of the night to a phone call that he’s gone.
I’m blessed to have had a father like him, many don’t get that, and also blessed to have had him in my first 25 years of life, many don’t get that either, but I still miss him terribly and get very sad when holidays come and the whole family celebrates with my wife and 3 kids. He’d have been such a great grandpa because he was such a great dad.
I miss you old man, sorry I never took the time to be closer… I love you always pops.
Not realizing people who traumatized me wanted to dull/kill my beautiful shine. I thought there was something inherently wrong with me. That wasn’t the case at all.
1. Save a bit of money. Yeah, enjoy it, but save some too.
2. Don’t waste time chasing girls. Those that want chasing aren’t worth it.
3. Don’t smoke.
4. Stay close to your friends, don’t drop them.
5. Listen to your parents. Respect them. They won’t be there forever.
6. Be in family pictures. Even if you look like s**t, can be arsed.Thinking you won’t age. You will and it will hit you fast. Take care of younger self so older self will have a great retirment.
Also, take lots of pics and make sure to have backups.
Spending most of my 20s drunk. I don’t regret all the fun, because it was great fun. But I could have had that same fun without being so wasted. I kicked it in my early 30s, don’t miss it. The biggest thing for me is not recognizing when it’s time to quit something. Of course there’s something to be said for sticking it out, to a point, but you also have to recognize when a situation is just not right for you and move on. I stayed in certain relationships and jobs for way too long because I was too lazy or too scared to make a change. College, too…. I hate the college I graduated from, and looking back should have transferred after my first year, but was too scared or thought I couldn’t.
Disrespecting my parents when I was a teenager. They really *did* know what they were talking about, I was just too much of a s**thead to see it 
Not getting the mental health assistance I desperately needed.I’ve suffered from anxiety and mild depression since my teen years. In part, it made me a recluse and a social outcast because I felt I was unable to interact properly with people and the world.
Today, on meds, I am a different person. I no longer fear social interactions, and if I was aware of the results back when I was a teen, I likely would have made better decisions for myself.
Not learning a second language. Trying to do it now is hard AF!!!
Wasting time. I threw away so much time. Time wasted doing nothing. Time wasted not being spent with the people that I love. Not paying attention to them and showing them my love. In the end, we don’t run out of love, money, breath…. We run out of time.
**Deferring too readily to the judgment of others.** I had the naive belief that other people had my best interest at heart. Speak up for yourself. Defend your own decisions. No one is out there waiting to make you a star. Not voting in anything but presidential elections. I feel like my whole generation got tricked into letting the boomers stay in control because we didn’t understand the importance of local and state level politics. Your vote can make a difference but you have to vote in ALL the elections and you have to have patience because it takes time for people to rise in politics and for policies to get enacted.
Not being careful with my credit. I got my first credit card at 18 and went absolutely crazy. It’s taken me years to climb up to decent credit and even more years to get to excellent credit. Lack of skills in relation to carpentry/electrical/plumbing etc…wish I would have went to vocational school the last couple years of high school
Worrying about what other people think.
Not saving for my retirement as soon as I got a job when I was 18, started at 25. I’m 43 now, won’t retire until I’m closer to 70 Wish I would have put more money away early, somewhere safe where the money grows and I don’t touch.
Not buying a property because my mother had a negative opinion about it. I would say make your own mind up, have the strength to follow your instincts. That was 30 years ago and I still feel regret every time I see the property.
Too afraid of getting rejected. Even when a girl showed interest it typically had to be overly obvious for me to act.
Saving. I’m 59 now and will have to work til I croak. Why didn’t I save all that bday cash.
I have to say not being a kinder person and not realizing how important it is to save more
I had about $100,000 to my name when I was 24/25. A guy told me to invest in a new company called Netflix. I went to a Fidelity website
and tried to use $50,000 of what I had, but it was so f*****g confusing I couldn’t figure it out and eventually just gave up.I can’t remember the exact price at the time but I remember dividing the amount I wanted to invest in half so it was probably about 2 bucks. I would have had 25,000 shares of Netflix.
F**k.
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Republican Guvs Tell Kids: “Stay Hungry!” – Bill Tope, Humor Times
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GOP guvs decry welfare and childhood obesity, tell lazy kids to “stay hungry” for success.
Fifteen Republican governors have said no to participating in a federally funded food assistance program, telling lazy kids to “stay hungry” for success. The program was passed on a bipartisan basis by Congress in 2022 and is designed to provide money ($120 per child) for food purchases during the summer, when children are on break and unable to receive free lunches at school.
Tom Vilsack, Secretary of Agriculture. Photo: U.S. Department of Agriculture, Public Domain. Agriculture Secretary Tom Vilsack said $2.5 billion was allocated in service to 21 million children. Governors gave various reasons for their states’ non-participation.
Oklahoma Governor Kevin Stitt (R), reached at the governor’s mansion in Oklahoma City, where he was having dinner with his wife, Mary, and their nine children, was cutting into a T-bone steak. “Oklahoma has adequate resources,” he said around a mouthful of medium-rare steak, “and I’m completely satisfied.” He suggested that parents of “so-called hungry kids” plant “victory gardens, like they did in WWII.”
One of the problems with food availability in the summer months is that of access. According to Prof. Mary Tupper, of Harvard University, just one in six in-need families can obtain food resources due to transportation problems. Florida Governor Ron DeSantis (R), reached on the campaign trail in Lobotomie, IA, said that he’s investigating a program whereby bicycles, with large baskets on the handlebars, will be leased to in-need Floridians for a moderate fee. “This service will NOT be available to transgenders,” the governor noted sharply.
Iowa Governor Kim Reynolds (R), put forth by some as a likely running mate for the Florida governor, decried “Childhood obesity.” With a shudder she remarked that she’d do nothing to create “ten thousand more fat little Black children” in her state. She added that there weren’t enough “restrictions on food purchases,” and suggested that some parents used food vouchers to obtain “beer, whiskey, lottery tickets, and even cannabis.” Besides, she said, Iowa “is full of restaurants that just throw out perfectly good food every day; it’s up to the parents to be innovative in procuring food for their families.”
Florida, Georgia, S. Carolina and Wyoming have, in addition to denying increased food assistance, opted out of the Medicaid expansion as well. Noted Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene (R. GA): “It’s them George Soros Jews behind all this. They’s trying to replace real Americans with fat Black and brown kids!”
Katie Bergh, a senior policy analyst at a Washington-based research and policy institute, said that pilot programs have shown that this program makes kids healthier and less hungry. It provides more fruits and fresh vegetables for the dinner table. Snarled Rep. Greene: “Vegetables are overrated and I say we have nothing to do with fruits!”
Nebraska Governor Jim Pillen said simply that he “doesn’t believe in welfare.” When questioned on instances of “corporate welfare” in his state as well as aid to millionaire farmers, he grinned and cackled, “Ya got me!” before calling security to order the press from the executive mansion.
Bill Tope is a retired (caseworker, cook, construction worker, nude model for art classes, and so on) who lives with his mean little cat Baby.
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