Comedian Ron Funches (Trolls: World Tour, Gettin’ Better) joins Tamara Yajia to talk abotu his childhood cartoon crushes, badly timed boners, and the magic of Bill Clinton playing the sax.
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Key Moments
8:23 – Tam reveals the story of her first orgasm 9:58 – Ron talks about the crushes he had on cartoons as a kid 11:13- Tam’s crush on Groundskeeper Willie 13:08 – Tam immigrated to the US during peak “Bill Clinton playing the sax” hype 13:55 – How kids used to hide their boners at school 15:55 – What it’s like to experience your kids’ coming of age as a parent 19:54 – The link between the Black and Jewish communities 21:37 – Ron’s advice for his former self
Bless These Braces is a Funny or Die Original Production with support from Common Era
Common Era is an R&D platform working to make sure the Jewish experience continually evolves to meet the present moment, today and in the future. Through explorations and collaborations with creators, builders, subcultures, and social movements, Common Era is imagining and funding initiatives and experiences that offer the world a more expansive Jewish reality.
Series Credits
Hosted by Tamara Yajia Executive Producers: Adrien Finkel, Darren Miller, & Ben Rosen Director of Photography: Gemma Doll-Grossman Production Manager: Savvas Yiannoulou Production Coordinator: Ellen Burns Writer/Researcher: Yoni Lotan Sound Mixer: Will Harrell Gaffer: Kishan Patel Production Designer: Christina Phensy Art Dept. Assistant: Carolyn Deskin Hair and Makeup: Brenna Haukedahl Editor/GFX: Brandon Fryman Assistant Editor: Michael Wolfson
For Funny Or Die
VP of Digital: Darren Miller Head of Original Content, Digital: Ben Rosen SVP, Physical Production: Whitney Hodack Assistant to Whitney Hodack: Anastasia Jacques Director, Legal & Business Affairs: Annie Killen SVP, Production Accounting: Devi Reichert Head of Post: Derek Bartholomaus SVP, HR/Facilities: Taylor Treadwell
For those who don’t know, Cloudfare encrypts their data using the randomness of a lava lamp. “To produce the unpredictable, chaotic data necessary for strong encryption, a computer must have a source of random data. The “real world” turns out to be a great source for randomness, because events in the physical world are unpredictable.”
Johnny DiNapoli is a talented writer and cartoonist based in New York City. His work has been published on The New Yorker, Funny Or Die, Upright Citizen’s Brigade, The New York Comedy Festival, and The People’s Improv Theater. Scroll down to see the funniest examples!
“Personal Mountains” was hearing dire rumors about one of the other developers; rumors about both the quality of their work and their future prospects at the company. Fortunately for Personal Mountains, they never actually had to work with this person.
Unfortunately, that person was fired and 30,000 lines of code were now Personal Mountains’ responsibility.
Fortunately, it’s not really 30,000 lines of code.
Comments in the code indicated that this was done for “extreme optimization”, which leads me to believe someone heard about loop unrolling and decided to just do that everywhere there was a loop, without regard to whether or not it actually helped performance in any specific case, whether the loop was run frequently enough to justify the optimization, or understanding if the compiler might be more capable at deciding when and where to unroll a loop.
Within a few weeks, Personal Mountains was able to shrink the program from 30,000 lines of code to 10,000, with no measurable impact on its behavior or performance.
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Keep the plebs out of prod. Restrict NuGet feed privileges with ProGet. Learn more.
I have never had the experience of living alone, as I’ve gone from living with my family to having roommates to moving in with my partner. But I know for a fact that if I did have the whole place to myself, I would need to set 15 alarms each morning to ensure that I actually woke up, and I would be talking to my cat constantly.
But just because you happen to live alone doesn’t mean that you have to feel alone! Below, we’ve gathered some of the funniest and most relatable posts from X about what it’s like to have no roommates. Enjoy scrolling through these posts, and be sure to upvote the ones that make you feel bonded to your fellow solo-dwellers!
There are a hundred ways a relationship can be bad, abusive, and traumatic. Some people, out of insecurity or just plain old nastiness, seem to enjoy downplaying their partner’s abilities and achievements.
So one woman, after years of being dismissed and insulted, ditched her useless husband and made some upgrades. She described, in wonderful detail, all the ways she made her life better without him, while readers shared their own stories in the comments. Bored Panda got in touch with Independent-Let-7688 to learn more.
Some partners seem to enjoy belittling and diminishing their spouses
Bored Panda got in touch with OP and she was kind enough to share her thoughts. “It’s been 5 years since my divorce now. I spent roughly 2 years together with the lovely young man that I met. My friends were supportive of it, while his family and most of his friends weren’t as it went against social norms. When you’re 25 that’s not easy to handle and so in the end we had to come to the decision that splitting up was the best thing to do. It was however difficult for both of us as we were still in love.”
“I think that in the beginning, we both figured that things would run their course eventually as so much does once the initial “honeymoon” stage is over and your rose-tinted glasses come off. However, that never happened and so we had to take into consideration the different places we were in life and a significant part was of course the pressure he felt under which took its toll. So we spent some time being unable to really split up while dating other people. Eventually, I met someone closer to me in age and he met someone a couple of days after I had told him I had met someone. We met up a couple of times after that, but it was just too difficult even though we always planned to remain friends.”
“Regarding my ex-husband I found a psychotherapist who specializes in this sort of behavior and how it affects the people who are subjected to it. She’s been great and has helped me navigate the aftermath. Things have calmed down as our communication is only in writing and I stick to short, factual, and polite messages and I don’t react to any impolite messages. However, it’s an ongoing process to establish boundaries and get him to respect them.” Unfortunately, there are perhaps way too many people out there who are not in a fit state to date.
Abusers attempt to keep a person so down that they can’t even consider leaving
“Since my divorce, I have actually been very interested in finding out why some people behave like that and also why it can take so long to realize what is happening and why it’s often difficult to leave. I didn’t want to repeat the experience and I also don’t want my children to repeat it. Firstly it comes from poor self-worth and self-esteem. It might not be noticeable to outsiders, but that’s at the bottom of it. Just like any kind of bullying really. In order to protect one’s self these people build an imaginary sense of superiority and they try to put other people down in order to feel better about themselves and also in order for them to control the other person and put them in a place where they don’t feel like they have the strength to leave. Emotional abuse can be very subtle and difficult to spot.” Emotional abusers know this, so you can expect them to stoop as low as they can possibly go.
“Often the relationship starts with love bombing. Mine certainly did. So in the beginning it’ll seem as though all of your dreams have come true and it’ll often look like what we’ve all seen romantic movies and read about. And so it’s easy to be swept off your feet. The way I met my ex-husband and the beginning of our relationship was certainly worthy of any romantic fairytale I had ever read about. But very slowly things change. Very subtly so it’s difficult to notice and if you do say something it’ll be just put off as a joke, that you’re too sensitive and sometimes they will completely deny it. I came to a point where I had to write everything down because he was so convincing when he lied or denied things that happened and I didn’t know if I could trust my own memory.”
“All of this erodes away your self-worth and confidence and so you eventually start believing what you are told. That nobody else will ever want you. That you are unable to do anything right. The behavior that they have is often something that they have experienced themselves or witnessed while growing up,” she shared, echoing the many people who end up falling foul of a manipulator. “Just as the people who experience this often also have a similar background, however, everyone can end up in this sort of unhealthy relationship dynamics. While still married I was able to see how the same pattern had repeated itself over and over throughout generations on both sides. And that’s what finally gave me the strength to leave as I didn’t want my children to grow up thinking that this was normal behavior and what a relationship should be like. I wanted it to end with me.”
Many readers resonate with the story
We were curious to hear how she felt about the massive amount of responses the post garnered. “I’m fairly new to Reddit so I didn’t really think that it would get any sort of traction. I’m not sure how many upvotes posts normally get, but it certainly does seem like it’s gotten quite a few more upvotes than most posts. The comments have also apart from a few been very supportive. I did have one person sending me a not-very-positive personal message, but there are always going to be people like that out there and I always feel sorry for them. I’ve never met anyone who feels truly good about themselves and is happy who had the need to put other people down or write in a very negative manner.”
“People also like a story that ends well. And in many ways, mine ended better than I ever expected. When I left I figured that nobody would probably ever want me as I was turning 40 and a single mother and didn’t look anything like before I got married. So it was amazing to find out that not only was I wrong, but a handsome and kind young man thought not only that I was beautiful, but liked me exactly the way I was. That was very therapeutic. And really helped me rebuild myself and regain my self-confidence. Finally, I think it resonates with women in general. Whenever I have told my story that seems to be the case. I think it’s because society wants women to believe that as we get older we are no longer desirable or attractive whereas men still are and are able to attract younger women. That definitely isn’t true.”
People shared their support with OP, who answered some questions in the comments
Writer and comedian Gil Ozeri (Big Mouth, Happy Endings) joins Tam to talk about his two Bar Mitzvahs, fart etiquette, and the cassette tapes he ordered to achieve multiple orgasms.
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Sign up for text/email updates and keep in touch:
Key Moments
00:00 – Gil Ozeri’s Doctor Told Him He Was Full Of…Caca 01:31 – Tam and Gil’s Jewish Roots 05:07 – What Tam Yajia Said Every Night As A Kid 07:04 – Tam and Gil talk about growing up going to Hebrew school, grandparents, Shabbot dinners, and Jewish food 11:55 – Tam’s grandpa smells her dad’s fingers 14:50 – Gil at 13, messing with his dad 20:07 – Gil’s Bar Mitzvah 24:48 – Gil’s Bar Mitzvah theme today 26:55 – Fart etiquette 29:02 – Gil’s constipation in Israel 33:05 – “Do you remember getting boners?” 35:32 – Gil Ozeri Had To Hide This Cassette Tape 38:30 – Tam humping her teddy bear
Bless These Braces is a Funny or Die Original Production with support from Common Era
Common Era is an R&D platform working to make sure the Jewish experience continually evolves to meet the present moment, today and in the future. Through explorations and collaborations with creators, builders, subcultures, and social movements, Common Era is imagining and funding initiatives and experiences that offer the world a more expansive Jewish reality.
Series Credits
Hosted by Tamara Yajia Executive Producers: Adrien Finkel, Darren Miller, & Ben Rosen Director of Photography: Gemma Doll-Grossman Production Manager: Savvas Yiannoulou Production Coordinator: Ellen Burns Writer/Researcher: Yoni Lotan Sound Mixer: Will Harrell Gaffer: Kishan Patel Production Designer: Christina Phensy Art Dept. Assistant: Carolyn Deskin Hair and Makeup: Brenna Haukedahl Editor/GFX: Brandon Fryman Assistant Editor: Michael Wolfson
For Funny Or Die
VP of Digital: Darren Miller Head of Original Content, Digital: Ben Rosen SVP, Physical Production: Whitney Hodack Assistant to Whitney Hodack: Anastasia Jacques Director, Legal & Business Affairs: Annie Killen SVP, Production Accounting: Devi Reichert Head of Post: Derek Bartholomaus SVP, HR/Facilities: Taylor Treadwell
Amid mounting international pressure for the Israel-Hamas war to end, Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu today detailed his vision for postwar Gaza, though the plans have sparked more controversy than concord. The Onion breaks down each point proposed in the plan and how it will affect Gaza.
