Barbie Jeep DUI In Canada

If you’re a six-year-old aspiring criminal, this is probably the cautionary tale you need. Because as it turns out, your Barbie Jeep won’t exactly let you blend in with traffic — even if you pair it with aviator sunglasses and a Slurpee in hand.

Meet Kasper Lincoln. Over the weekend in Canada, Kasper achieved the rare honor of becoming both a viral legend and a cautionary tale in one night. His vehicle of choice? Not a Ford, not a Chevy, not even a respectable moose to ride across town. No, Kasper took his talents to the streets in a child-sized, pink Barbie Jeep — the kind designed to transport six-year-olds across driveways at a blazing top speed of five miles per hour.

Yes, five miles per hour. About the same speed as an especially determined mall walker.

He insisted he mostly stayed on the sidewalk, but eventually decided to edge onto the road. That’s where his brilliant plan unraveled. Because as much as Barbie Jeeps scream “road safety,” the police apparently disagree.

A local officer spotted Kasper and did what any self-respecting law enforcement professional would do — he pulled over a grown man in a Barbie Jeep. Which raises the question: what’s the proper police code for that? “Dispatch, we’ve got a 10-48… in hot pink.”

Upon closer inspection, the officer discovered that Kasper wasn’t just guilty of operating a toy car like it was a Dodge Charger. He also had a suspended license. And more importantly, his blood-alcohol level was above the legal limit.

Yes, you read that right: a DUI in a Barbie Jeep. You have to work pretty hard to make the phrase “don’t drink and drive” sound inadequate, but Kasper somehow managed it.

Naturally, Kasper was arrested for DUI. The Barbie Jeep itself was presumably impounded, possibly in the “evidence” section of a local toy store. Authorities also slapped him with a 90-day driving prohibition, on top of whatever consequences he’s already facing from his suspended license.

Now, to be fair, Kasper was not speeding. Not even close. The Barbie Jeep tops out at five miles per hour, meaning the only things he was passing were toddlers on tricycles.

Still, the law is the law. And police were quick to remind everyone that this is not a laughing matter, even if literally everyone else in town was laughing about it.

For his part, Kasper was oddly upbeat about the whole ordeal. He insisted he didn’t know he was breaking the law, even though his very existence in the Barbie Jeep suggested otherwise. He also said he had “no problems with the police” and even complimented the arresting officer, calling him “nice.”

When asked what he learned from the experience, Kasper delivered the kind of public service announcement usually reserved for after-school specials: “Don’t drink and drive.”

Which is a little like burning down a house and then reminding everyone to blow out their candles. True, but also very, very late.

Onlookers who witnessed the spectacle couldn’t believe their eyes. One moment, you’re enjoying a weekend stroll. The next, you see a grown man in aviators slowly buzzing past you in a Barbie Jeep like it’s the Monaco Grand Prix.

Many laughed. Some wondered if maybe, just maybe, the police had better things to do. But officers stood firm, insisting this kind of behavior — toy car or not — puts people at risk.

And they’re right. Because while Barbie Jeeps aren’t exactly the getaway car of choice, mixing alcohol and any kind of vehicle (even one powered by a 12-volt battery) is still dangerous.

So where does that leave Kasper Lincoln? For now, banned from driving anything with wheels bigger than a Hot Wheels car for 90 days. And immortalized on the internet as the man who thought Barbie’s Dream Car was also a loophole in Canadian law.

It’s safe to say Barbie herself has never been in this kind of trouble. Sure, she’s had questionable career choices (zookeeper, astronaut, president — all in the same decade), but she’s never once been cuffed for a Slurpee run gone wrong.

As for Kasper, his pink-plastic road trip serves as a reminder to us all: if you’re going to break the law, maybe don’t do it in the most conspicuous vehicle possible.

Because in the end, there’s only one thing worse than a DUI: a DUI at five miles an hour in a Barbie Jeep.