It turns out this George R.R. Martin interview is just a roast in disguise.

If you’ve been waiting 11 years for George R.R. Martin’s newest A Song of Ice and Fire novel, Winds of Winter, to release, we’ve got some bad news. However, we’ve also got a really great cathartic video from Comedy Central’s Stephen Colbert Presents Tooning Out The News. This video, while comedic, does also give us insight into how close we might be to seeing George R.R. Martin finish Winds of Winter.

In this interview with the animated Dr. Ike Bloom (played by Ikechukwu Ufomadu), George R.R. Martin gets absolutely roasted. Bloom calls up prolific author James Patterson (who has produced 22 books this year) to offer Martin advice. Out of the gate, Patterson asks how far behind the deadline Martin is (it’s unclear if he knows who he is addressing) and shows genuine surprise when told the book is 11 years late.

When asked about how much has been written, George R.R. Martin doesn’t give an exact answer, saying, “eleven hundred, twelve hundred, something like that,” which kind of made me die a little inside that he’s not more confident. He adds, “it’s not done yet, though. I need another four hundred, five hundred.”

James Patterson gives an amazing piece of advice, though. He suggests cutting The Winds of Winter into three books and submitting them “once per year.” It’s funny that this comedic interview (and excellent roast) actually delivers the best answers for how to deal with a book that’s been pretty much stalled for over a decade.

Cameron Waldrop

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