NORMAN, OK—Claiming that statewide curricula should no longer ignore this violent historical event, Oklahoma school officials announced plans Friday to begin teaching students that the Tulsa Race Massacre was a crime of passion that resulted from loving Black people too much. “It’s important that students are educated on how this horrifying event—which resulted in hundreds of deaths and the destruction of Black Wall Street—only happened because of how electric and wild the love was between white people and Black people at the time,” said Oklahoma state superintendent Ryan Walters, explaining that historical documentation showed white people had been getting jealous because their African American counterparts were doing too well economically and couldn’t hang out as much as they used to. “We often end up hurting the people we love the most, and this was definitely true with what happened back in 1921. Sometimes burning down more than 35 city blocks and 1,250 homes is the only way to express the fiery passion of your love for someone. It’s not right, but feeling that deeply can make you snap. Love can make you do crazy things.” At press time, Walters explained that the Tulsa Race Massacre had been left out of history books out of respect for Black people’s privacy.

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