Welcome to the fantastic world of bean humour! Prepare to embark on a laughter-filled journey where legumes take the spotlight with these hilarious bean puns and bean jokes.
The best bean puns and bean jokes
From witty wordplay to pun-tastic humor, these bean jokes are as diverse as the different types of beans themselves.
Get ready to have a good laugh and maybe even spill a few beans as you dive into this collection of family-friendly bean puns that’ll leave you rolling in the aisles (not the grocery store aisle, though!).
Funny bean jokes
Let’s kick things off with a harvest of funny bean jokes.
1. What do you call a lazy bean? A slow cooker.
2. Where do beans go on holiday? The Carib-bean.
3. What do you call a retired vegetable? A has-bean.
4. What kind of show do green bean plants record? Pod casts.
5. What type of bean is the fastest? The runner bean.
6. Why are beans good at keeping secrets? Because they don’t want to spill the beans.
7. What kind of vegetable can tie your shoelaces? String beans.
8. What did one pea say to the other pea? “How you bean?”
9. Why did the bean sell his car? The back seat didn’t have enough legume.
10. Did you hear about the bean who looked just like his dad? Like lava, like son.
11. What’s a bean’s favourite musical instrument? The beanjo.
12. Why shouldn’t you tell a secret in a vegetable garden? Because the beans talk.
13. What do you call a cat that likes to eat broad beans? Puss ’n’ Toots.
14. How do soy beans greet their friends? “I’m soy happy to see you!”
More jokes about beans
Still hungry for more bean jokes?
15. Why did the bean get promoted? Because it was outstanding in its field.
16. How did the bean ask the other bean for help climbing the garden cane? “Can you give me a legume up?”
17. What movie do beans love the most? Pirates of the Carib-bean.
18. How did the coffee bean feel about its performance? It thought it had brewed up quite a show.
19. What do you call a group of trendy beans? Cool beans.
20. What do you get when you mix onions and beans? Tear gas.
21. What’s a werewolf’s favourite bean to eat? Human beans.
22. Why should you invest in the bean market? Because the stalks can only go up.
23. What vegetable comes from outer space? Green beings.
24. What kind of beans don’t grow in a garden? Jelly beans.
25. Why was the bean always so cool? It was just chilli.
26. What vegetable is always jealous? A green bean.
27. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Bean. Bean who? Bean a while since I saw you!
28. What do you call a magical bean? A charm-string bean.
Even more silly beans gags
Let’s spill the beans on some more seriously funny bean jokes.
29. What did the bean say at the end of its performance? “You’ve bean a great audience!”
30. How do baked beans learn from their mistakes? They use Heinz sight.
31. Why couldn’t the baked bean answer the doorbell? It was in the can.
32. Why did the bean blush? Because it saw the salad dressing.
33. What did the coffee bean say when it won a singing competition? “I really espresso-ed myself.”
34. What do you get when you cross a cow with a coffee bean? De-calf.
35. What happens to coffee beans when they have a similar experience? They get deja-brew.
36. Why can’t you trust a taco? It tends to spill the beans.
37. Why were the two bean plants so close? They had deep roots.
38. What vegetable can tie your stomach in knots? String beans.
39. What did the bean say to the gardener? “Stop picking on me!”
40. How are coffee beans like teenagers? They both keep getting grounded.
41. Did you hear about the bean that changed career? She went into a different field.
42. A garbanzo bean was looking ill. Its friend asked “Are you OK?” It replied “No, I falafel.”
Jelly bean puns
43. What do you get when you cross jelly babies with jelly beans? Beanie babies.
44. Why did the jelly bean turn green? It was feeling a little jelly.
45. What do you get when you cross a jelly bean and a cake? Sweet treats.
46. I’ve been told green beans are good for you. But why are they better than the other jelly bean colours?
Funny bean puns
These corny bean puns will leave you full of beans…
47. I’m bean productive today
48. Bean and gone
49. I’ve got a bean to pick with you
50. Don’t spill the beans
51. Bean there, done that
52. Bean up your act
53. Beans to an end
54. The bean-ing of life
55. To bean or not to bean, that is the question
56. Peachy bean
57. We’re meant to bean
58. I’ve bean thinking of you
59. Beandle of joy
60. Bean and not heard
More puns about beans
Not had enough bean puns yet? Read on…
61. That’s un-bean-ievable
62. I bean-ieve in you
63. Bag it and bean it
64. Bean around the gills
65. In the beantime
66. Bean one, bean them all
67. Squeaky bean
68. Bean as mustard
69. Don’t make a bean
70. I’m full of beans
71. Bachelor pod
72. A pod of gold
73. Against all pods
74. You’ve bean brilliant
Coffee bean puns for instagram
Get your daily humour fix with these short bean puns about coffee beans. They’re perfect for social media posts too.
75. Work, roast and play
76. Roast of the town
77. Lost and ground
78. Love is where you grind it
79. Common grind
80. Delusions of grindeur
81. Random acts of grindness
82. Bear in grind
83. Cruel to be grind
84. In the grind scheme of things
One last bean pun…
85. Do you think these bean jokes are funny? We’ve bean practicing all day 😉
And that’s a wrap on our bean-tastic joke fest! We hope this collection of bean puns and playful quips have brought a chuckle to your day and tickled your funny bone. Whether they’re a black bean, green bean, pinto bean, lima bean or kidney bean, beans always know how to bring a smile!
More family-friendly puns and jokes
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Catherine
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