6 Rituals to Get Back on Track When You Feel Overwhelmed

This evening I have to get on a flight to go to my cousin’s wedding. But before I make it to the airport there are approximately a million things I need to accomplish: finish this column, pack, send a bunch of emails, call the plumber. The list is overwhelming. With so much to get done it would be helpful if my brain were performing at its peak. 

So is it? 

Not at all. As is often when I am at my busiest, my brain has gone foggy. Figuring out what to do next and then completing each task feels like wading through mental mud. 

Why is it that our brains are often far from operating at their best when we need them most? And more importantly what’s to be done about it? Science offers both an explanation and a suggestion for how to get your brain working again when you feel overwhelmed — an anti-busyness ritual. 

The science of ‘overwhelm freeze’ 

University of Massachusetts professor of medicine Jon Kabat-Zinn defines overwhelm as the feeling that “our lives are somehow unfolding faster than the human nervous system and psyche are able to manage well.”

It’s a definition a lot of us instantly recognize from our own lives. Researcher and best-selling author Brené Brown knows the feeling well. 

“In overwhelm, it’s hard to respond when people ask ‘How can I help?’ or ‘What needs to be done?’ Responding with organized thoughts feels impossible,” she reflected on her blog. Instead of strategizing or knocking through tasks, she finds herself “walking around in circles crying and talking to myself.” 

Like Brown, when we start to fear that our resources are no match for the scale of the challenges in front of us, we can mentally freeze. Boston University psychologist Ellen Hendriksen explains that this tendency evolved as a response to predators. It makes no sense to freeze like a deer in the headlights when you’re overwhelmed with work. But your brain doesn’t know the difference between stress from a hungry lion and from a too long to-do list. 

“Our bodies react to threat the same way, whether the threat is external, like the proverbial saber-toothed tiger, or the threat is internal,” she told The New York Times. The result is what psychologists calls ‘overwhelm freeze,’ and what I call a very untimely brain malfunction. 

Try an anti-busyness ritual 

What do you do when your muscles tense up and your minds starts spinning in circles? Nothing is the simplest and best answer, according to Kabat-Zinn. Staring out your window or going for a stroll for 10 minutes can help your overwhelmed brain settle down and deliver clear thoughts again. 

But if you need something a little more instant, sociologist Christine Carter suggests an anti-busyness ritual. “When the pace of life seems to be taking off without you, create a ritual to help you feel more in control,” she has written.

Her own is simple: “When I start to feel pressured for time… I stretch my neck (first by looking to the left, and then to the right, and then by tipping my left ear to my left shoulder and my right ear to my right shoulder). I exhale deeply with each stretch, and then center my head, and straighten my posture. On my last exhale, I think to myself: ‘I have plenty of time.’” 

It might not sound like much, but Carter insists it’s enough to break the merry-go-round of anxiety that keeps her from moving ahead effectively. Plus, studies show that simple, entirely secular rituals — like writing down a regret and physically throwing it away — have surprisingly large effects on our thoughts and moods. 

5 more overwhelm-busting rituals 

So what other anti-busyness can you try when you’re hit with overwhelm freeze? 

• Explain it  to your inner teenager. Hendriksen advises looking at your to-do list and explaining the next steps to yourself as if you were giving “instructions to a teenager who doesn’t really want to do it.” Breaking down a task into ridiculously small components makes it far less likely to overwhelm you. 
• Touch something alive. Some grass, your dog, the plant on your desk. Even the smallest connection to the natural world has been found to reduce stress. Plus, “touch anchors us. It reminds the nervous system that we’re here, now, and safe,” doctor Michael Hunter claims. That’s why psychologists often suggest paying close attention to your physical surroundings as an antidote to panic. 
• Speak kindly to yourself. Science shows beating yourself up like a drill sergeant doesn’t help your performance. Self-compassion does. So if you’re feeling overwhelmed, say a few kind words to yourself, maybe even out loud. “You’re doing OK.” You’re allowed to rest.” 
• Read a poem. This is another suggestion from Hunter, who claims to keep a couple of poetry collections on his desk for this purpose. Poetry “lights up associative and sensory regions, pulling us out of rigid thought loops,” he insists. 
• Stand in a patch of sun. Not the literary type? Hunter’s final suggestion should appeal to everyone but vampires — find a patch of sun and stand in it for 90 seconds. It’s hard to be frantic with warmth and light bathing your face. Neuroscience also shows sunlight helps regulate your body’s circadian rhythms, sharpening your focus and improving your mood. 

Whatever anti-busyness ritual you choose, the goal is the same. You’re looking to knock your brain out of overwhelm mode and back to a calmer approach to tackling your to-do list.