5 Social Media Boundaries for College Relationships

Tiktok…Snapchat…Instagram…Reddit…Facebook…the list of social media options out there continues to grow seemingly by the minute. While on the surface social media usage can seem like harmless fun, there are some things you need to be aware of when using these platforms in college, especially as it pertains to your relationships.

Quick disclaimer—we’re not here to say you can’t use social media or to try and tell you what to do. Instead, we want to give you the information you need to be able to decide for yourself just how much access you want to give social media (and other people) to your life.

The best way to handle this? Set clear and effective boundaries. That’s what we’re going to look at today. Here are five suggestions for social media boundaries you can utilize while in college.

1. Be careful of oversharing and the effect it can have on your safety, social life, and job outlook.

If you haven’t read it yet, we’d highly recommend checking out our guide on oversharing and social media. Our team shares some practical guidelines to make sure what you share on social media doesn’t do more harm than good.

The big takeaway is that things that may seem harmless may have short-term and long-lasting effects on your safety, your social life, and potential job opportunities down the line.

Additionally, even if you share something to a private audience, it may not stay private. And even if you don’t believe what you’re posting carries much risk, the reality of the power of perception may say differently.

Actionable Step

Please, read the guide we linked. At least be informed of the potential risks that come with oversharing so you can make a more informed decision.

2. Understand the implications of tagging and associations.

It may feel harmless when one of your friends tags you in a picture or a post about something you’re doing together. In reality, most of the time it is harmless (at least the intentions behind it).

That said, there are a few things you may want to think about. First, many of the risks we shared about oversharing don’t just disappear when it’s someone else tagging you and not yourself. For example, if they’re tagging your location or posting photos that show where you like to frequent, the same safety risks exist.

What makes this potentially even worse is you don’t know what their privacy settings are. They could have the posts set to public, which means literally anyone can see it. Even if they don’t, you don’t know every friend on their friend list and whether they’re someone trustworthy or not.

Actionable Step

Decide what you are and are not comfortable with. If you need to have a conversation with your friends about it, do it. If they’re good friends, they’ll respect your wishes.

Additionally, check the privacy settings of each social media app you’re using. Often, you can set settings that limit how people can tag and interact with your profile. This doesn’t protect against pictures posted on someone else’s profile, but it does help.

3. Respecting other people’s boundaries matters too.

On that same token, this is a two way street. Before you go tagging a bunch of people in a post or putting up photos of someone other than yourself, ask them if they’re okay with it. If they say they aren’t, respect that. Yes, this may mean you don’t get to make some of the posts you’re really excited about making, but you can’t expect your friends to respect your privacy wishes if you’re not respecting theirs.

Actionable Step

Take a minute and audit your social media behavior as it pertains to friends. Are you tagging people? Are you posting photos of other people? Have you had a conversation to see if they’re okay with it? Be proactive about protecting your friends.

4. Decide which relationships you do or do not want shared on social media.

We touch on this in our guide to safely dating online in college, but we want to really drive home the point here. It is completely up to you how much of your personal life you share on social media.

It may feel like you’re “required” to post all about your relationships and friendships, but the reality is there are no requirements. People may try and guilt you into posting because they “want to keep up with your life” or “it shows your relationship is healthy,” but the reality is that none of that matters.

If someone wants to keep up with your life, they can call you or text you offline. You aren’t required to keep a public diary because people want the tea without investing in the relationship.

Regarding romantic relationships, social media has a habit of being the catalyst for a lot of fights, disagreements, and even breakups. The real barometer of the health of your relationship is not how good you look together on social media or how many times you post, it’s how good you really are together. Society (and even some friends) may try and tell you differently, but it’s simply not true.

Actionable Step

If you’re already in a romantic relationship, evaluate your social media presence as a couple. Have a conversation about it together. It’s never too late to make changes to what you share moving forward. If you’re single, take some time to think through the boundaries you’d like to have for the next time you’re in a relationship. The more rooted you are in those, the easier they will be to implement together.

One additional note here—if you’re going to make changes to how you post about your relationship online, don’t do it without a conversation. If you go from posting about the two of you all the time and then all of a sudden you stop posting, your significant other may perceive it incorrectly.

5. Consider which conversations are safer (and better) to have in person.

Social media safety isn’t just about public profiles, but it runs into the private conversations and DMs that you might be sharing behind the scenes.

Is conversing through DMs more convenient? Oftentimes it is. Just remember, though, it takes one click of a button to screenshot what you believe to be a private conversation.

Yes, the same can be said about text messages, so the real takeaway here is to consider what conversations may be better to have in person or via a phone call.

Actionable Step

Evaluate which conversations you have or may have coming up that would be better to have offline. Additionally, come up with a plan to move conversations offline if someone tries to start one with you. Something as simple as, “I’d prefer to talk about this in person or over the phone. When can you talk?” goes a long way.