150 golf puns and golf jokes for tee-rific laughs – Growing Family

Get ready to tee off with laughter with these funny golf puns!

Whether you’re a scratch golfer or still working on perfecting that swing, we’ve got a hole-in-one collection of the funniest golf jokes and puns to keep you grinning from the first tee to the 18th hole.

The best golf puns and golf jokes

Golf may be a game of patience and precision, but today, it’s all about a good laugh. So let’s drive straight into some funny golf puns that are sure to be above par!

Funny golf jokes

Why did the golfer need new socks? He had a hole in one.

When a golfer starts a band, what do they call it? A swing group.

Why did the golfer carry a spare umbrella? In case of a bad fore cast.

What do you call a wizard who can turn himself into a golf club? Harry Putter.

What do golfers do when they retire? They go clubbing.

Why are computers so good at golf? Because they have hard drives.

What do golfers do on their days off? Putter around.

Why do golf courses get hot after tournaments? Because all the fans leave.

What do you use to find the location of a golf ball? A lie detector.

What car does a golfer’s assistant drive? A Caddy-lac.

Did you hear about the seasoned golfer whose clubs burst into flames? He had several irons in the fire.

More great jokes for golfers

What’s a golfer’s favourite lunch? A club sandwich.

What’s a golfer’s second favourite lunch? Peanut putter and jelly sandwich.

What’s a golfer’s favourite drink? Tee.

What’s a golfer’s favourite dance move? The Bogey.

What’s a golfer’s favourite bird? Any birdie will do.

What are a golfer’s favourite flowers? Fore-get me nots.

What do you call a golf shot that ends up in outer space? A black hole in one.

Which ancient Egyptian pharaoh liked to golf? King Putt.

What do you get when you cross a funny golfer with a stretchy toy? Silly Putter.

Golfing jokes to make you smile

Did you hear about the golfer who swung his club halfway? He nearly had a stroke.

What do you call an itchy person who can shoot par or better? A scratch golfer.

How long did the golfer promise to stay married? ‘Til death do us par.

Did you hear about the golfer whose shot landed in a music store? He broke three records.

Why are golf balls like eggs? Because they’re white, sold by the dozen, and a week later you have to buy more.

Why do golfers hate cake? They might get a slice.

Why couldn’t Cinderella play golf? Because she always ran away from the ball.

What should NASA do if it wants to explore water on Mars? Send a golfer there to hit a golf ball.

What do you get when you cross a baseball field with a golf course? A diamond in the rough.

Why do golf announcers whisper? Because they don’t want to wake up the people watching.

What do you get when you cross a person living in monastery with a short golf shot? A chip-monk.

Did you hear about the actor who took too many strokes on the golf course? He wasn’t right for the par.

More one liner golf jokes

Where do ghosts play golf? On the golf corpse.

What do you call an angry golfer? Teed off.

What does a golfer’s diet consist of? A lot of greens and water.

Did you hear about the golfer who didn’t have metal clubs in his bag? He was iron deficient.

What type of beard is best for a golfer? A goa-tee.

Why do golf pros tell you to keep your head down during lessons? So you can’t see them laughing.

Where are you most likely to find a bear on a golf course? In the cub house.

Hilarious golf dad jokes

Why did the golfer bring an extra pair of pants? In case he got a hole-in-one.

How many golfers does it take to change a lightbulb? Fore.

What’s the difference between a bad golfer and a bad skydiver? Golfers go WACK… “Damn” and skydivers go “Damn”… WACK.

What’s a golfer’s worst nightmare? The Bogeyman.

What do you call a popular Sesame Street character who takes one swing less than par? Big Birdie.

What movie about golf took place in a galaxy far, far away? Par Wars.

What did Master Yoda say when Luke Skywalker sliced the ball onto the next fairway over? “May the Fores be with you.”

Which Star Wars character was good at sinking short shots? Jabba the Putt.

On what part of a course do golfers like to drink? The watering hole.

What area of the fairway is a dog’s favourite? The ruff.

What’s the difference between a golfer and a skydiver? A skydiver has a better chance of landing on the fairway.

What do computer experts use on the golf course? An Apple cart.

Funny golf quotes

“Golf is a good walk spoiled.” Mark Twain

“I have a tip that will take five strokes off anyone’s golf game. It’s called an eraser.” Arnold Palmer

“If you think golf is relaxing, you’re not playing it right. ” Bob Hope

“My golf game is getting real good. Last week, I got through the windmill.” Rodney Dangerfield

“I know I am getting better at golf because I am hitting fewer spectators.” Gerald R. Ford

“The older I get, the better I used to be.” Lee Trevino

“The other day, I broke 70. That’s a lot of clubs.” Henny Youngman

“If you think it’s hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong golf ball.” Jack Lemmon

The best golf puns

Putt your wits to the test

Putt it out there

Putt-ing edge

Putt it down

No ifs or putts

Putt in some effort

Putt your best foot forward

Feeling putt out

Putt things in perspective

Down putt not out

The putt of the joke

Don’t putt corners

It’s got lots of putt-entail

I couldn’t putt it any better myself

I wouldn’t putt it past them

Don’t putt all your eggs in one basket

Puttering around

Putter late than never

Putter luck next time

I’ve got a putter idea

To putt a long story short

I couldn’t putt it down

Feeling below par

The best by par

As par as the eye can see

Raise the par

All bets par off

As par usual

Let’s par-tee!

A par is born

Par none

Caught between a rock and a par-d place

More clever golf puns

In a rough patch

These are rough days

Time to bunker down

Tee time

Tee break

That’s tee-rible

Don’t be tee’d off

Golf is my cup of tee

Let it tee

Tee-rific

To tee or not to tee?

You drive me crazy

Don’t lose your drive

Drive right in

Drive a hard bargain

Shut up and drive

Nose drive

Take a drive

A stroke of genius

A stroke of luck

Add some swing to the conversation

Getting into the swing of it

Swinging in the rain

Un-fore-gettable

Up fore the challenge

At a loss fore words

All fore the best

Fore-sight

Fore sure

A cry fore help

Go fore it

Asking fore a friend

Even more golfing puns

No iron-y

An iron will is needed

Iron out the details

Strike while the iron’s hot

A chip on the shoulder

Always willing to chip in

A chip off the old block

The start of a beautiful friend-chip

Fairway to heaven

You’ve got a fairway with words

I’ve got a fairway to go

No need for fairway tales

The greens are always greener

Green and bear it

On the right course

Stay the course

Par for the course

Course language

May the course be with you

Of course

You’re a real hole in one

No holes parred

It’s a hole new ball game

Ball’s well that ends well

The early birdie catches the worm

A birdie in the hand is worth two in the bush

Don’t count your birdies before they’re hatched

It’s the bogey-man

Put your eagle aside

That’s ill-eagle

Not all men are created eagle

I golf you on my mind

Golf forth and prosper

One last funny golf pun…

What did one golf ball say to the other golf ball? “See you round.”

And there you have it – a round of cute golf puns that hopefully had you laughing all the way to the 18th hole. Whether you’re out on the green or just enjoying a laugh at the clubhouse, we hope these funny jokes about golf give you something to smile about between swings!

More family-friendly jokes

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