Humor
“Your Own Children Being Afraid Of You”: People Call Out 55 Parenting Red Flags
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Being a parent is one of the hardest jobs in the world. It’s impossible to do it perfectly, but there are a million different ways to do it well. As long as your little ones have all of the love and support they need, as well as a clean and safe place to rest their heads at night, you’re probably doing a great job.
But sadly, there are some moms and dads out there who could use a lesson in how to be a good parent. Redditors have recently been sharing glaringly obvious red flags that someone’s not a good parent, so we’ve gathered the most heartbreaking ones below. We hope that none of these examples remind you of your own mother and father, pandas, but they might be good reminders of what not to do with your kids.
Filming everything your child does and creating a social media page to garner likes and ad revenue.
Having extremely unreasonable, unrealistic expectations for your child, i.e., maintain 5.0 GPA Pre-K to College, earn a noble peace price at 20, somehow get married at 25, and have 6 kids by 30, get six figure job right after college, take care of the entire family on their own dime etc.
Stealing from your child. When I started college I had saved up about $800 for books and supplies. Two days before class starts I go to buy my book. I have $600 worth of stuff ranging from up and my card declines. I put everything back and check my bank app. I have $30. It says that the last transaction was an in bank transfer to my dad account. I called him and asked what happened.
His response:
“I was short on bills. I’ll get you back in two weeks on payday.
Me: “ok but you didn’t ask. I need that for school and I just looked like a moron since my card declined.”
Him: “I’m the parent. I don’t have to ask you for anything. You should be grateful I’m giving it back at all. It’s not my fault you didn’t check your bank account before trying to make a big purchase.
Later that night he cussed me out for changing my passwords and log in info. He says he has the right to see what I’m spending my money on.
I got the money back a week later with an extra $200 “for the inconvenience”.
But the damage was done. I already had flunked two quizzes because I didn’t have textbooks and my library only had the outdated copy that gave me wrong answers.
Sheltering children from uncomfortable feelings.
You have to let your kids learn to process and handle those feelings. Don’t assume something is too hard for them to understand, I promise they already know something is happening/wrong, so help them understand it.
This also goes for punishments too. Nobody likes to make their kid mad or cry. It’s not fun grounding kids for a messy room, not getting chores done, or lying but they need those life skills. You’ve only got a set amount of time to teach them to be good, thoughtful, respectful humans.
I’ll use my mom as an example: When their goal is to have a child, not to raise an adult. So they purposefully keep them young, discourage independence, and pour their entire identity into being mom. Then, when that kid becomes an adult, they have no idea what to do with their life.
As someone who works wit elementary aged kids, being too controlling about everything, not just with your kid but trying to control what your kid is around when you aren’t, there are several parents who have tried to get books taken out of our school library, freaked out that teachers put on movies during indoor recess (we are a catholic private school owned by the Archdiocese there are so many restrictions) or even that we give out cookies for after school snack. There are two young kids who have already learned how to lie to their mom, they are in third and first grade so they can have the fun treat we give out instead of just getting an apple while everyone else gets popsicles.
Not showing up for your kids. As someone who’s worked up to 3 Jobs at one time I’ve never missed a concert, sporting event or birthday. There are of course circumstances that can’t be bypassed but if you miss more than you attend it’s a you problem.
Fetal-alcohol syndrome. When you see it, you know. If you don’t know, Google right now. Had a classmate in grade school with it.
I was walking through the forest, minding my own business, when a family walked past me going the other way. The father was covered in tattoos and looked older than he should. He had a cigarette hanging out of his cap. The mother was platinum blond wearing all black stretch fabric and a polished face mask of pale looking makeup. They club. And I don’t fault them for their lifestyles or priorities. The mother was pushing a stroller with a child; it was a paved trail. The father was just BITCHING about anything and everything – I’ve never heard so much bitching in a forest, of all places. It’s how I knew they were there – I heard him before I saw him. They had a little boy in tow – probably 7-8. My problem with them all was that when we both came around the bend, when they saw me as I saw them, THE FIRST THING this child just out of diapers did, was shout, “HEY! F**K YOU! HEY! HEY! F**K YOU! F**K YOU!” – over, and over again, flipping me the double bird. The father was indifferent, and the mother was hoping to ignore the whole thing. I looked the kid in the eyes and said, “Your parents must be so proud of you.” And I carried on.
I met up with an old friend. He and I go back to diapers. I haven’t seen him in 15 years and we got together for his birthday. He invited some other friends out, too. So we were having a drink when his friends showed up. They had a son. He was 3-4. This was 11pm on a Saturday, in a bar. The child had deep bags under his eyes. They ordered him caffeinated Cola, and poured it into a sippy cup for him. He complained he was tired, they told him to sleep in the booth, which is impossible in a bar at 11pm on a Saturday. Frankly, I had lost my appetite, as it were, to this, and endeavored to speed the night along for the child’s sake.
Children bear the burden of their bad parents. You look how they behave and that tells you everything you need to know. You look at their outbursts, their scars, their fears, their coping mechanisms.
Constantly yelling and losing it on your kids. How are they going to learn about stability and communication with parents like that.
When your kids jump in the air and click their heels when finding out you dead.
Your kids at grandmas more than with you because you’re out having a “good time” every weekend!
Pressuring constantly his/her own children, displaying them like trophies or accomplishments instead of human beings.
I’m telling on myself from the past here (bad parents can become better), but putting off therapies your child needs and refusing to set boundaries because you feel bad about a situation that happened.
This allows for bratty kids who think the world revolves around them and setting boundaries later with the child is Hell. My kiddo is recovering and doing so much better now, but it took a huge wake up call and it shouldn’t have.
I can’t stress this enough: parent your kids! They will be so much better for it in the long run. No amount of guilt should stop you from teaching your children boundaries and how to respect them.
Not knowing anything about your child’s life. Best friends, favorite things, favorite teacher, what they like or don’t like to eat. Not having an interest in them as individuals. Not allowing them to be individuals.
Parents (usually moms) that self identify as “crunchy/silky/scrunchy/almond/whateverthef**k moms”. Parents that post their kids all over online on the same pages they post their OF links and photos and videos of themselves half naked. Parents who tell everyone their kid is neurodivergent as an excuse for their behavior, especially if they’ve never actually been tested. Family vloggers. Parents who exploit their disabled children for money/attention. Parents who post videos of their kids throwing a fit or getting hurt because they think it’s funny. Parents of adult children who no longer speak to them.
“We don’t say no in this household.”
The idea and sentiment behind that phrase I can understand but the way the majority of parents put this in practice is just always saying, “Yes.”
I’ve been in numerous 504 meetings where the the behavioral issue can be mitigated by boundaries.
When a parent compares their child to another child such as their friends, cousins, etc. Never giving the child any praise. Speaking to them as if they are a child when they are a teenager. Not paying attention while they are playing or acknowledging when they come up to you wanting to show you something. Replying “later” to everything they ask you to do. When they want something such as to see their friends, and instead of supporting them, you never allow them any social freedom. The list goes on.
Trapping a child in a car as you smoke. Add into the mix the child has chronic bronchitis. Chronic bronchitis is a pulmonary disease, not a cold. No child should have this. Commenting for a friend.
Parents who let their home go to s**t. I get it, kids are messy, lives are busy, and your home will never be perfect. But some scattered toys, piles of schoolwork, and a few drop zones around the place isn’t what I’m talking about. I’m talking about moldy food everywhere, hoarding, not cleaning up after animals, and houses full of rodents and roaches attracted to the biohazard of a mess.
Your kid seeking out other adults to confide in when it comes to difficult topics, because they’re scared of how you’ll react.
Many teens have a rebellious phase that’s pretty normal, but if they’re an adult and they still dislike their parent, there’s very little reason to think it’s the child’s fault.
You’re child knowing they’d sooner starve than get $5 of food from you.
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Kotryna Br
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