You Won’t Believe These Actual Things Students Have Said To Their Teachers

Teaching is definitely a profession where you need both a poker face and thick skin. It amazes me that kids in kindergarten all the way to high school walk onto school grounds and suddenly get jolted with some extra-strength chutzpah!

Or maybe there is something in the water fountains in schools? From what I can tell, there’s a force that prompts students to share inappropriate, personal, or brutally honest thoughts with their teacher as soon as they pop into their heads.  

Teachers must take in whatever their students say to their faces without a response, snarky comeback, or even a giggle! I wear my emotions on my sleeve and I can’t keep my mouth shut if I feel insulted so big props to teachers everywhere that do it day in and day out—with a smile!

It’s why I can’t stop watching 8th-grade teacher Miss Dugan’s (@miss.dugan1) hilarious TikTok video where she deadpans a rundown of shocking, horrifying, and unbelievable things her students have had the gall to say to her.

Kids Say The Darndest Things…Or Not?

Now, I know my daughter and her friends love asking their teachers how old they are, if they are married or have kids. Those may not always be welcome questions but they are innocent enough. You might even say they are expected.

Yet poor Miss Dugan isn’t getting any softballs. Here’s just a sampling of actual things she says her students have said to her:

• “Are you in therapy?” followed up by, “You seem like the type.”
• She’s been told she looks like “my grandpa’s couch.”
• Her pants look like “trash bags.”
• The toilet paper at her school “sucks.” (Why is the school’s toilet paper her problem? Because the student wanted her to know they got “dookie” on their hands as a result.)
• There was a “fat ass” alert while she ate crackers.
• One student laid it all out there, admitting Miss Dugan did not want to know what was said behind her back or she’d “quit her job.”

Now I don’t know Miss Dugan personally, but I would venture to guess that the question that likely stung the most? “How does it feel to be the only unmarried teacher in this school?”

In this video, Miss Dugan is really a great sport about it. While she’s clearly exasperated and shocked by the audacity of “kids these days,” it’s obvious that she’s in on the joke and knows fielding such commentary is all part of the 180 days of the school year (not that she or any teacher is ever counting, right?).

Parents’ Readers Weigh In

It turns out Miss Dugan’s video was relatable to teachers everywhere, proving she’s certainly not alone. We asked teachers on the Parents’ Facebook page to reveal some of the wildest things that students have ever said to them and some of their responses are just as shocking.

Questions about personal lives

One thing is clear—kids (especially those in middle and high school) are fascinated with the details of their teacher’s personal lives. One teacher revealed that when word got out to students that she was pregnant, one asked “You keeping it?” In this case, her comeback was appropriate (and hilarious). “Well, I kept my other two so I guess I’ll keep this one too,” she replied.

Then there was the 11th-grade teacher whose student wondered if she’d tell them “when her ‘eggo’s preggo.’” When she told the same kid when she was indeed expecting, the response? “Oh, good, we thought you were just getting a little fat.”

Littles keep it real

While it seems middle and high schoolers go for shock value, we can still count on younger kids in kindergarten and first grade for the “keeping it real” laughs.

One teacher reveals a first grader told her, “You live in my nightmares” because she had the class do a paper. I can only imagine how this student will feel about book reports and essays in a few years!

A kindergarten teacher had to take it in when one of her little ones whispered that her hair smelled like her “grandma’s dog.”

But maybe my favorite that has me cracking up as I type is the kindergartener who told her teacher, “Hey—Imma take my sock off so you can see my toe cheese!” Sure, it’s an image I’d like to get out of my head but I hope it reminds teachers that when all else fails, maybe it is okay to laugh every now and then.

Respect for All Teachers

I could list a million reasons why I have the utmost respect and admiration for teachers of all grades and subjects. I look at them in awe knowing how much they do for our children and how they are advocating for their future in and out of the classroom. I can’t get over how tirelessly teachers work for not enough pay and nowhere near enough gratitude. I bow down to their daily display of patience, diplomacy, and empathy.

Teachers, you got this, we appreciate all you do—and apologize in advance if our kids leave their filters at home!