One of the questions we get asked the most is ‘Should I make the first move when it comes to sending someone a message?’. For example, if someone adds you as a favourite, is it OK to immediately send them a message or should you wait to receive one first? In short, what’s the etiquette? Read on for some tips on easily navigating the world of online dating.
Should I message first?
Yes! Whilst many of us have retained some old fashioned notions around not making the first move, you have to grab every chance you get to make people notice you. If someone you like the look of adds you as a favourite but doesn’t message you, take the initiative and message them, as they have clearly made an expression of interest. And, even if someone hasn’t favourited you, don’t be afraid to send messages anyway. The more people you contact, the more dates you will get.
How long should I wait for a reply? Should I follow up with another message?
People have different expectations when it comes to how quickly they should reply to messages, and they might not match up with yours. If you bombard someone with messages asking why they haven’t replied, it’s highly likely to put them off, so resist this impulse. Give them a couple of days, then send them a quick reminder. If they still don’t reply, move on to someone else.
How quickly should I reply?
As quickly as you like! Any ‘rules’ about leaving it a certain amount of time should be completely discarded as you’re here to meet someone, not to play games. If someone took the trouble to message you they’ll want a reply, so don’t fret about putting them off by being too keen.
Should I ignore messages from people I’m not interested in?
No. Whilst it may seem pointless to engage in conversation with people you don’t want to meet up with, it’s just good manners to send a quick ‘Thanks, but no thanks’ message. Everyone likes to be noticed, even if they don’t get the result they want, so do people the courtesy of replying and it makes everyone’s life that little bit better.
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Karen Dickinson
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