What’s the Greatest Gift Your Parents Have Given You?

Empathy. Kindness. Hard work. Success. Wonder. What kinds of values and life lessons have your parents shared or taught you? Which have been most meaningful or valuable?

In the Opinion essay “One Thing Parents Can Control,” Esau McCaulley writes that parents cannot shield their sons and daughters from the world’s difficulties but can try to counter those things with joy:

My father was a long-haul truck driver. He piloted one of those eighteen-wheelers that had a horn that could raise the dead. As a kid, I longed to join him on his journeys and discover something of the world beyond Huntsville, Ala., where we lived.

Despite his numerous promises, he never took me along. That failure, and the addictions of his that defined much of my childhood, gave me an education of a different sort. I learned that the world could be cruel and disappointing.

Now that I am a father, I struggle with how much of that hard world to reveal to my sons and daughters. I recognize the privilege in even considering this. Parents of children in Gaza and Ukraine do not have the luxury of deciding whether to tell their young ones of evils done and all the good left undone. Bombs descending from above, indifferent to the innocence of youth, have become their instructors.

I believe that we all have a moral duty not to turn away from such suffering. During dinner my family and I have talked and prayed about war, poverty, racism and injustice. My hope is that if we instill a sense of empathy in our children, they might create a better world than the one we have made.

Mr. McCaulley continues:

Since December, my family and I have been abroad while I am on a research sabbatical in England. My 9-year-old son, Peter, a huge soccer fan, dreamed of seeing a Premier League match. He was persistent in the way only elementary school children can be. He arrived in Britain a Manchester City fan, but I couldn’t get tickets. When I managed to secure two Tottenham Hotspur seats, he immediately switched allegiances.

Watching Peter’s eyes widen as he approached the stadium, joy emanating from his tiny frame, was like that first ray of light after a downpour.

Son Heung-min, who is also a standout on the South Korea national team, is the Spurs’ star and captain. Our seats seemed to be in the part of the stadium filled with Koreans. The red, blue, white and black South Korean flag and the national pride it represented rippled in the wind beside Hotspur flags. The team itself was gloriously international with players from Europe, Asia, the Middle East, Africa and South America all working together on the beautiful game. For a moment, sport had united us, and my son got to see the world as friendly and good.

He concludes the essay:

It is hard to predict the impact of these experiences. Parents can only make deposits of joy. We cannot control when our children will make the withdrawals. Did my mother know that I would always remember that one time she took us all to the (now defunct) Opryland U.S.A. theme park in Nashville? I am not sure what the Hotspur game will mean to my youngest son two decades from now. But that day he was happy, and knowing that will have to be enough.

Parenting is always an exercise in hope, a gift given to a future we cannot see to the end. At some point, if God is merciful, our children will continue forward without us, left with the memory of love shared and received.

We are entrusted with the awesome responsibility of introducing our children to the world and the world to our children. We cannot and should not shield them from all difficulty. But it’s also necessary, periodically, to be a bit irresponsible, to spend a little too much on a soccer game so they remember that alongside the darkness, sometimes there is light. Come on, you Spurs.

Students, read the entire essay and then tell us:

• What’s the greatest gift your parents have given you? Explain why it stands out among the many values and life lessons they have bestowed.

• What aspects of Mr. McCaulley’s essay resonate most? Do you agree with his contention that joy is an essential gift that parents should give to their children? In what ways is joy present in your own life?

• If you become a parent, what gift or lesson would you most want to give to your children?

• While Mr. McCaulley believes parents should center joy in their children’s lives, he says, “We cannot and should not shield them from all difficulty.” How much of the suffering and injustice in today’s world do your parents share and discuss with you? Do you think that is the right amount?

• Mr. McCaulley concludes his essay with a parent’s lament: “It is hard to predict the impact of these experiences. Parents can only make deposits of joy. We cannot control when our children will make the withdrawals.” Do your parents know any of the joys, gifts or magical moments they have given you? Consider sharing your writing with them. They will likely cherish it!

Students 13 and older in the United States and Britain, and 16 and older elsewhere, are invited to comment. All comments are moderated by the Learning Network staff, but please keep in mind that once your comment is accepted, it will be made public and may appear in print.

Find more Student Opinion questions here. Teachers, check out this guide to learn how you can incorporate these prompts into your classroom.