CALEXICO, California – (Satire News) – Alpha Beta News Agency writer Mimosa Sabrosa, has just broken the story about a pole dancer in Calexico, who alleges that she is the illegitimate daughter of Donald Trump.
The extremely attractive, young woman is 41-years-old, and she says that her body was made for pole dancing.
Kyla noted that she is actually 3 hours and 35 minutes younger than her half-sister Ivanka Trump and the same age as her other half-sister, Tiffany Trump.
The woman who info guru Andy Cohen has identified as Kyla Paradiddle-Trump, is a beautiful, statuesque, blonde woman, just like the kind of females that her evil, hate-filled, tiny-fingered biological (father) the notorious billionaire used to like to date… so long as they had access to a VIP club.
SIDENOTE: Cohen noted that he texted Miss Paradiddle-Trump who told him that she does not want to meet her sperm donor father, for several reasons (1) She’s a Democrat, (2) She hates white extremist racists, (3) She hates pathetic punks who cheat on their taxes, (4) She hates low-life Cheeto-looking habitual liars,(5) She hates asshole men who treat women like pieces of meat, (6) She hates the smell of Big Macs, and (7) She hates men with tiny hands. ■