Big Ben rang out the New Year … and a story got quickly buried.
There were … things … seen to flutter around the big clock. And around other London landmarks: Parliament, the House of Wax, Sherlock Holmes Cocaine Emporium, Canterbury Cathedral especially was plagued with these … THINGS!
The age old plague upon mankind known as … Wampyr!
Vampires were flying around the city, biting necks, drinking blood, influencing politics.
Vote for me, I hope we can count on your campaign donations, Brexit is good for you, full of protein and opium … all silly things said by politicians to vampires, but Nosferatu only wanted to drink! (And not at the pub … well, not until it closed and a few stragglers stumbled into dark alleys … )
This is the only explanation for why so many British politicians look so pasty, so pale, so void of blood or any conscience … NHS? Nurses? No … the wampyr only wants to suck your life essence, drain you dry, then make it sound like it’s all your fault!
Boris, Liz, Rishi … have they all been bitten? And if so, how long until the people vote for a Van Helsing to rid the glorious Camelot of the blasphemous undead?!
Have you given a pint to your local vampire today?