CHICAGO – (Satire News) – The Hasbroken Toy Company has just reported that they manufactured 45 Dick Alexander Murdaugh Bobblehead dolls and according to retail outlets only 2 were sold.
One was sold to Ann Coulter, GOP maven, who is such a skanky old maid that she would date a piece of mulch if it had a pecker (dick), and the other one was purchased by Marjorie Taylor Greene, who collects bobblehead dolls of men she has dated including Matt “Fat Face” Gaetz, Rudy “The Swamp Creature” Giuliani, and Donald “The Plump Chump” Trump.
Meanwhile the Sing Sing Federal Prison warden, where Murdaugh will spend 707 years said that Alex is extremely afraid that the prison convicts will turn him into a female, within 25 minutes of him becoming a prisoner.
SIDENOTE: The warden reportedly told him, “Well Alexa, all I can say is that you better get used to swishing and swaying, because you are the closest thing to a piece of bitch ass that these inmates will ever see inside these prison walls.”
