Tag: Teacher Problems

Across the country, students and families are struggling to adjust to busing changes. From New Jersey to Arizona, school bus driver shortages are creating hours-long bus rides, delays, and other frustrations. Louisville, Kentucky, reports a relatively smooth start in terms of transportation for Jefferson County Public Schools (JCPS) students—but that’s only because of the decision to cut bus routes to many of its traditional and magnet schools.

As you might expect, the move hasn’t come without its fair share of backlash. Protests, complaints, and even a lawsuit are underway. And now, according to WAVE, things have taken a creative turn with the release of a hip-hop protest video featuring Louisville students.

“Where My Bus At?” and the power of student voices

Titled “Where My Bus At?,” the song is the latest form of protest against JCPS’s busing cuts. And it’s making waves for more reasons than one. The Real Young Prodigys are the artists behind this hit. They are a group of JCPS students who are also part of HHN2L—short for Hip-Hop Into Learning, created as a platform for Black youth to use hip-hop, music videos, and travel to spark positive change on local, state, and even global levels.

The group, co-founded by NyRee Clayton-Taylor and her husband, Antonio Taylor, is all about giving students a voice. Clearly, this latest project does exactly that. The Taylors shared that the idea for the video came from the students themselves. Over the summer, JCPS’s new transportation plan became a hot topic in the local news. And in the midst of frustration, an idea was born.

“Our students have been dealing with busing issues for a while now,” Clayton-Taylor explained. “A few months ago, they decided they wanted to address the issue in their own way. Check out “Where My Bus At?” here:

Powerful lyrics for powerful change

The lyrics in this song are definitely worth unpacking. They’re powerful, smart, and convincing!

“I wish that it was back like it was before/I miss it when the bus came straight to my door.”

“Pretty girl that’s educated/getting straight As I’m motivated/Catch a rebound on the playground/Why y’all take my transportation?”

The students of The Real Young Prodigys do something no one else can: tell their story from their point of view. This first-person perspective makes viewers consider the individual human experience in what could be tempting to dismiss as a mere bureaucratic setback.

These two lines in particular are too good to miss:

“I’m a good kid/I stay in class, too/teachers want to me to succeed, but I can’t get to school”

“It’s all on the news/But I don’t want to fuss/Don’t got no one to drive/Hold up, let me whip the bus”

Someone get these kids a record deal!

Creative solutions and the road ahead

The video highlights a major concern: Many students have lost access to their schools of choice due to the bus-route cuts. In total, 43 JCPS schools have been impacted by the district’s decision. According to JCPS, the hope is that if more bus drivers become available, some of these services could be reinstated.

But in the meantime, the students of HHN2L aren’t waiting around for change to happen on its own. They’re using their talents and voices to keep the conversation going. “Music is their language,” said Taylor. “This is how they tell their stories, and we couldn’t be prouder of them for expressing themselves in such a powerful way about real issues that affect their lives.”

So, while the buses might not be rolling for everyone just yet, the students’ message is clear: They’re not sitting quietly on the sidelines. And who knows? Maybe a catchy beat and some well-placed lyrics will be just the thing to get the wheels turning—both literally and figuratively.

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Teaching is no easy gig. And unfortunately, sometimes it’s made less easy by school rules that sound like they came from the desk of a petty tyrant instead of a principal. Case in point: this ponytail rule. When we saw it going viral, we couldn’t believe it—except for the fact that our readers have shared other wild rules over the years. Let’s take a look.

1. One ponytail per month

In response to @educatorandrea’s viral video rounding up ridiculous rules for teachers, one teacher responded that their principal limited teachers to one ponytail per month. Another teacher responded saying their principal outlawed messy buns. What in the female-hating workplace is this?

We LOVED this brilliant follow-up to this notion from @itsmaggieperkins: “This is a question for the district where teachers are only allowed to wear one ponytail per month: Are you guys regulating how often certain teachers wear Crocs? Shapeless khakis? Random polos with the school logo on it from ten years ago?” She’s not wrong.

2. Teachers can’t use the … teachers lounge

We all know positivity goes a long way. But toxic positivity—dismissing all negative emotions or critical feedback—can breed resentment and disconnection. Take it from this educator whose principal took toxic positivity to the next level: “I worked for a school district once where the superintendent would not allow us to have a lounge/workroom because ‘Teachers just go in there to gossip.’”

Excuse me? We also use it for Peanut M&Ms.

Some schools try to enforce toxic positivity outside their walls. “When I was hired, I was told that I was not allowed to complain about ANYTHING work-related to anyone who did not work for the school … including my husband,” shared one teacher. I would have asked, “Should I pat him down to see if he’s wearing a wire?”

3. No water or coffee

Now this is sadistic. “I had a principal that banned coffee,” a teacher told us. “The reasoning was if the students couldn’t have it, neither could we. I went to university for 5 years to become a teacher … I earned that coffee!” Another teacher said their principal was OK with coffee but not soda, again because students couldn’t have it. “I was livid. I have to have my Diet Coke in the morning!” Me too, teacher friend.

Some principals don’t make school rules about what you drink, but how you drink it. “All drinks had to be in a traditional coffee mug with no lid, even water. I don’t even know why but when someone’s water spilled on a computer, we were suddenly allowed to have water bottles with lids again.”

All of these teachers can count themselves lucky, though, since one principal we heard about doesn’t allow their teachers to drink anything at all in the classroom. “No coffee, no soda, no water. Nothing.” Urologists might have something to say about that one.

4. Parking lot nastygrams

Bet you didn’t have this on your “Kooky School Rules” bingo card. One school measures how far each car is from the lines, issuing nastygrams to those who don’t park perfectly. At another, teachers have to back into their parking spots each day (like teachers on their way into work don’t have enough to worry about already). And don’t try to get chatty in the parking lot at this school: “Our principal said staff couldn’t talk in the parking lot, like everyone does when they are arriving for work or leaving at the end of the day. She felt it would look like teachers were talking about her.” Maybe they are with rules like that, Janice!

It can’t get worse than that, certainly? Well, we learned about one school that doesn’t have a parking lot at all. Teachers have to park on the street and feed the meters all day.

5. Saying hi to the principal

A surprising number of schools require teachers to sign in at the office each morning, which unsurprisingly creates a whole host of problems. For instance, many teachers often arrive before their administrators do. “We had to remember to interrupt our work in our classrooms and walk back to the office after the sign-in book was out,” reports one teacher. “Every teacher has to stop in the office and say hello to the principal before school starts,” says another. “I have kids in my classroom as early as an hour before school starts … he gets in a half hour later.”

One teacher reported not getting paid for the day if they didn’t sign in (we’re pretty sure that’s not legal). Another teacher once walked into school with her principal an hour early. “When I went into the office to sign in, she said, ‘Come back later; it’s not ready.’ I came back right before my duty started, and she marked me late!”

6. An actual, real-life Late Book

Running late? Get ready to be shamed by … THE LATE BOOK. “Our secretary monitored the sign-in book,” one teacher shared. “At 7 a.m., she removed it and replaced it with the dreaded LATE BOOK. Staff waiting in line were required to put the reason for their late arrival. One friend wrote, ‘having sex with my husband.’”

Who needs a late book when you can just be shamed in public? “I had a principal once question me angrily in front of my students when we arrived at the cafeteria for lunch, about what time I went to bed at night, because I was a couple minutes late that morning. This, after she yelled at me from the end of the building and said, ‘Nice of you to join us today!’ while I was talking to a parent at my classroom door. When I told her I didn’t feel the need to discuss what time I went to bed with her, she literally sent me to the office to have the VP grill me (on my lunch). Ended in me crying and being sent back to my classroom of first graders after, AND I never got to eat lunch.”

And then there’s the school that wants you to plan your emergencies: “I had to leave during the day to pick up my injured child. I notified the front office staff, who arranged coverage for my class. The next day the principal announced a rule that all emergencies had to be cleared by her 24 hours in advance.” Um, what?

7. Late to the faculty meeting? You’re locked out.

Speaking of running late, teachers at one school better be on time for their morning staff meeting. “Staff meetings started at 7:30 a.m. ON THE DOT. The principal watched the time on her phone and locked the door immediately when the time changed to 07:30:00. Then she proceeded to laugh at the teachers running across campus and encouraged us to laugh and jeer at them too. They were not allowed in and were later reprimanded for missing the meeting.” Is their principal Michael Scott?

While we’re all in favor of keeping meetings short, this seems a little excessive: “During district staff meetings a superintendent insisted that, instead of clapping your hands together multiple times in applause for any reason, we could only clap once. She claimed clapping wasted too much time!” I just … I cannot.

8. In trouble for working late

There’s never enough time in the day, right? Well, that’s just too bad! “I was once told by the other teachers to stop working in my classroom on weekends to get caught up, or I’d be reported to the district for working after hours,” one teacher confided. Where is this district who forbids you to work after hours? Asking for a me.

“I had a principal yell at me for putting in too many (unpaid) evening hours,” shared another. “The morning after, I ran an extremely successful book fair/carnival. Spent weeks working with junior high volunteers who design and build all themed games for the younger students. A great learning experience of creativity, charity, kindness, and leadership went overlooked.”

9. No hand sanitizer allowed

“We had all the hand sanitizer in the school taken away because it is flammable,” says one teacher. “I pointed out that so is all the paper and a very good reason to not allow students to have matches!”

This one is even more difficult to understand. “In my daughter’s kindergarten classroom, they weren’t allowed soap (in case the kids ate it?!),” a reader shared. “She would bring it and hide it from the ‘Health & Safety’ inspectors.” Or, I don’t know, host an intervention with the soap-eating children?

We also loved the story of the principal who would monitor paper towel usage of the staff bathroom next to her office. If she heard someone “pumping” the paper towel dispenser more than twice, she’d scold them for wasting paper. One teacher grew so tired of it, she started using the student bathrooms.

10. Want to use the copier? Prove it.

Copiers have always been contentious, especially as schools try to save money. One principal requires teachers to prove their copies are “academically beneficial.” Another allots only $20 per teacher per year for copier costs. And then there’s this: “Our admin used to give us each one case of paper each semester, and if we ran out, we had to buy our own. What usually ended up happening was teachers would go into other teachers’ rooms and steal reams of paper. I always kept my case of paper in the trunk of my car, as did many of my colleagues.”

Then there’s the laminator. Many teachers report having to give all laminating tasks to a trained aide. That may sound OK, but what if the aide’s schedule is unpredictable? Or they have a worrisome power trip going? “Our aide would quiz you on why you needed it laminated and you had to promise to use the item for at least three years!” What I want to know is if you have to sign the laminating contract with your own blood or if you can use a sacrificial animal instead.

11. No more than two exclamation points

Definitely don’t try to get parents involved as partners in their child’s success. “We were not allowed to call or even email parents. We were allowed to communicate POSITIVE NOTES ONLY by writing in the student’s agenda.” Hopefully not too positive, though, since one teacher told us, “I could only use two exclamation points when writing notes and things to parents. Don’t want to show too much excitement.”

All kids need a period of adjustment when school starts in the fall, but how long should it last? At one school, “teachers cannot write any disciplinary referrals or give suspensions before Christmas. Consequently, by Halloween, the students, not the staff, are running the school.” So much for behavior having consequences.

12. Lessons must be identical

Brace yourselves for one of the nuttiest school rules for teachers we’ve ever heard: “Every teacher in a grade level had to be teaching the same thing at the exact same time. The logic was if a student needed to be moved, they would walk in where they left off.” Maybe that doesn’t seem too bad? How about this twist: “When we were observed, if the admin left my room and went into another class of the same grade level, the admin should be able to hear the same lesson continued as if we were on the same script. BUT we were not allowed to share lesson plans.”

On that same note, one teacher says, “If you put anything up on the wall in your class, the same thing had to go up in all the other grade-level rooms. It also had to be in the same spot so if students moved rooms, they knew exactly where to look.” Just … wow.

13. A new level of micromanagement

Teachers generally respect authority. That is until the powers that be become downright unreasonable. For instance, one principal requires all window shades in the entire building to be at the same height. (Still scratching my head over that one.) Another teacher reports a principal who regularly came in and took pictures of her messy desk, then tested her. “She would ask for random items that she thought I wouldn’t be able to find. I have a filing system that is called ‘If I can’t see it, it doesn’t exist’ so everything is out on my desk, but I can find it. Put it in a neat file in the cabinet and it is gone for life. …”

Here’s one last nutty gem. “I had one principal that was an extreme micro-manager. She had these rules about data charts. They had to be specifically color-coded. Whatever, fine. I forgot to color-code and got a nasty email about efficiency. Whatever! OK, I color-coded. Got it over and done with. Then ANOTHER nasty email. I didn’t use the correct shade of blue, red, or green and I needed to drop what I was doing and fix it ASAP. So I put it off. I got so many nasty emails it bordered on harassment. All because the shades I used were not the principal’s preferred shades.”

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Dear We Are Teachers,

I finished my 15th year of teaching in June and finally decided to leave the toxic school I’ve been working at my whole career. I interviewed at a school that seems like my literal dream school, but it would be a huge pay cut to teach there—about $20K. It would make our finances tighter, certainly, but wouldn’t put us in poverty. What would you do?

—Which road?

Dear W.R.,

This is a tough choice. I can’t tell you what to do (awful, I know!). But I can give you this advice:

• Remember that nothing in teaching is forever. We sign year-long contracts. If you try something new and are miserable, you can always go back. If you stick it out and realize you should have switched, there’s always next year to look elsewhere. Your dream school might not have an opening next year, but maybe there’s another dream school waiting for you to discover it.
• Picture both options. Imagine yourself in November of this school year at both of your different options. Really imagine hard—pulling into the school parking lot, entering the building, etc. If you select the new school, how might you be feeling about leaving your old school? If you stay at your current school, how might you be feeling about not taking the other position? (BTW, I’m embarrassed to admit this advice came from watching advice given to a Bachelor lead about who of his remaining two contestants to pick. But I still think, “Which would you rather not miss out on?” is solid advice!)
• Listen to your gut. This advice has been repeated so often that I know it sounds trite. But I believe we often have the answers inside us all along. Tune in and trust that you already know what the best decision is for you and your family.

Dear We Are Teachers,

My school has finally decided to ban phones this year. Yay! Unfortunately, my principal has decided that if we’re going to ban devices for teenagers, we must also ban them for teachers—he doesn’t want to see us on phones at any point during the school day hours instruction. This feels insulting and condescending, but I feel like my coworkers and I need to be strategic about approaching him about it. What advice do you have?

—Are you kidding me?

Dear A.Y.K.M.,

LOL, wow. This reminds me of the principal who wouldn’t let teachers have coffee so students wouldn’t feel sad.

I agree that you need to be strategic. Here’s your best bet:

1. Wait on it a little bit.

When principals come up with new rules, they are often very proud of themselves and not in a mood for debate. There will definitely be some teachers immediately storming his office. Don’t be one of them.

2. Acknowledge his reasoning for this rule.

This rule is bonkers, but it didn’t come out of nowhere. I’m betting your principal has received a few complaints from families of teachers being on their phones (whether or not they were justified). After all, plenty of people made sure to tell me that my maternity leave sub made nail appointments on speakerphone during class and never turned the sound off on her Candy Crush. 😳

A little pressure from families can go a long way. Your principal was probably just thinking, “I will eliminate two problems at once! Hurrah!” Even if he didn’t consider the reasons a grown adult with a college degree and dependents might need access to their phone during a school day.

Anyway. Starting from common ground can go a long way. “I understand where you’re coming from. If we’re asking this of students because it disrupts instructional time, it makes sense to ask the same of teachers.”

3. Bring up your points as questions.

Gather your thoughts ahead of time (ideally, collaborating with coworkers). Then, phrase these points as questions.

For example, instead of “We need our phones in case of emergencies,” say, “I’m wondering about emergencies, like daycare or first responders needing immediate contact. How can we guarantee the communication will come through on time when rerouted through the main office?”

Make sure to throw in a point or two about legal ramifications. “I’m concerned about the possibility that a teacher could cite this rule as a reason for a lack of communication during an emergency, like a fire or active shooter. Do you think the school could be held liable if a teacher doesn’t have access to their phone?”

My suspicion is that even if you don’t talk to your principal about this, the reality will very quickly unfold that teachers need access to their phones during the day for very different reasons than kids do.

Dear We Are Teachers,

I’ll admit it—I lost my cool a lot last year with my 8th graders. I don’t want this year to be the same way, but I can already feel my blood pressure rise when I think about the approaching school year. Do you have any tips on maintaining your chill when teaching teenagers?

—calm over conniption fits

Dear C.O.C.F.,

I think awareness is a great first step! You’re acknowledging that you have the responsibility to change—for yourself and your students. I want you to also acknowledge that teaching in 2024 is one of the most stress-inducing activities you can possibly sign up for, so be gentle on yourself too.

One of our most valuable articles in my opinion is this collection of advice from principals on how they keep their cool in the most trying moments. Think about it: They can’t afford to have a weak moment of yelling or losing their temper. And the worst parents are way meaner and more degrading than anything a 7th grader can dream up.

Take their advice, but also consider talking to a mental health professional. They can help you with strategies to use in the classroom, but also help you evaluate whether that anger is impacting other areas of your life and health.

Do you have a burning question? Email us at askweareteachers@weareteachers.com.

Dear We Are Teachers

My principal called earlier this summer asking if I would teach a freshmen survival course. He promised the curriculum and resources would be provided, so I said yes. However, at in-service yesterday, he told me he “must have told me that by mistake.” I have to create the whole thing from scratch in six days! I am absolutely freaking out. This class is in addition to the course I already teach (Geometry), and I’m completely panicking. What should I do?

—It’s the final countdown

Dear We Are Teachers,

I’ll be a first-year teacher (hopefully) this year, but the job hunt is getting a little desperate. I’m not athletic and would be miserable coaching, but ALL the listings in the district I want to work for say that they prefer someone who is willing to coach! Should I suck it up and pick a random sport to say I’ll coach?

—yay, sports

Dear Y.S.,

To me, it sounds like the district just copies and pastes the spiel about coaching onto all listings. I doubt they expect all new hires to coach. So take that into consideration.

BUT. If you want to try committing to coaching in your next interview, you’ll want to keep some things in mind.

1. Don’t commit to (or reject) the coaching opportunity right away.

Let’s say your interviewer says, “Could you coach our girls swim team?” If you’re not feeling it, don’t give an immediate yes or no answer.

2. Be honest about your experience with the sport.

Obviously, don’t lie about your experience. “I don’t have any experience coaching swimming, and I haven’t swam competitively.” But …

3. Indicate your enthusiasm to learn.

If you’re interested in learning, show them! “However, I’m eager to learn as a way to connect with students and fellow coaches.”

4. Ask for further info.

“Is there someone I can connect with to learn more about expectations involved in coaching and what I’d need to learn?” If you don’t want to coach after you speak with someone about it, then you can at least delay your “No, thanks.”

5. Think about what you would be willing to coach or sponsor.

“There are a lot of teams and clubs I’d love to lead. I have a soft spot for debate, and I would LOVE to start a creative writing elective or after-school club.”

Even if they decide they don’t want an inexperienced coach, they may be more eager to find a position for you than someone who says, “Nope, no way, I don’t coach.”

Dear We Are Teachers,

What’s a non-awkward thank-you email I can send after a job interview? All mine sound robotic and formulaic. Plus, I don’t know what to say after “Thank you!”

—beep boop

Dear B.B.,

Love this question! A thank-you email is a great opportunity to reiterate your interest in the position, highlight the positive things you learned about the school during the interview, and ask any remaining questions you have. Finally, it’s a good opportunity to seal your interview process with one last piece of positive communication.

Here’s a template you could use:

Dear [name of interviewer],

Thank you again for having me in to interview for [position] on [date]. I truly enjoyed our conversation and am excited about the possibility of joining your team at [school].

I was so impressed by [something positive about the school—specific programs, student opportunities, teaching philosophy, etc.] and am eager to contribute to [specific initiative or goal of the school]. Something I may not have mentioned in the interview is [additional fact about why you’re a good fit].

Please let me know if there is any additional information I can provide to assist in your decision-making process. I look forward to the possibility of working together and contributing to the success of students at [school name].

Thanks again,

If it still feels a little robotic to you, you can definitely interject some personality or references specific to you and your interview. (“Hope you’re all doing well and have power after Hurricane Beryl.”) (“By the way, here’s the link to the lanyard I was wearing that Ms. Adams said she wanted info about!”).

Dear We Are Teachers,

Can we talk pencils? I’ll be teaching 5th grade math in the fall (my first year!) and have seen so many different “pencil management” approaches on TikTok. Some say to get golf pencils. Some say buy a certain unique design or put special tape around each pencil so everyone knows it belongs in your class. Some say to buy cheap in bulk; some say to buy Ticonderoga in bulk! What are your thoughts?

—pondering pencils

Dear P.P.,

First, thank you for being willing to provide pencils in your class. While I 100% understand and sympathize with teachers wanting to protect their own money, I also feel VERY strongly that they need to protect their time, energy, and stress more in this low-stakes case.

Firstly, I’ll give you my thoughts on each of these ideas.

Golf pencils. In the event that your 5th graders aren’t doing a ton of writing, I think this solution works. I’m not sure how well they hold up to a sharpener, though.

Buying a certain unique design. I like this solution (how fun would it be to be the “fruit pencil teacher“?), but be aware that cheaper pencils are known to tear up sharpeners. Washi tape is a good solution, but I found it annoying to keep up with, and my students treated removing the tape as a de facto fidget toy.

Buying Ticonderoga in bulk. This is my recommendation, as long as you’ve exhausted efforts for someone else (school, people who want to help out, your random rich aunt) to buy them for you. I love this idea for printing on pencils—it’s super easy, and you likely already have the supplies!

Also, I just found these pastel-colored Ticonderogas, so maybe you could make a poster for your room that says, “Found an Easter egg Ticonderoga? These belong to Mrs. Noga!”

Sorry if your last name isn’t Noga. In that case, you’re on your own.

Do you have a burning question? Email us at askweareteachers@weareteachers.com.

Dear We Are Teachers,

I’m going into my fourth year of teaching this fall. As the second half of summer approaches, a new thing has started happening when I think about school starting: anxiety attacks. I get so overwhelmed and stressed during the school year that just the thought of that starting up again is enough to send me spiraling. I still have half the summer left! What can I do to get these to stop?

—a hot mess

Dear We Are Teachers,

Help us break a tie. My lunch crew of fellow high school teachers is split. Half of us (me included) think students shouldn’t be able to use delivery services to the school for any reason. Our reasoning is singular: It overwhelms the front office staff. The other half of our teacher lunch crew says delivery services help kids who’ve forgotten their lunch or are ordering on behalf of a club or organization meeting. Who’s right?

—Debating delivery doubts

Dear D.D.D.,

Oh, I am firmly on the side that students shouldn’t be able to use delivery services at school.

It’s true that it creates a daily logistical nightmare for the front office staff. But that’s not my main opposition to it. The biggest reason I think it shouldn’t be allowed is safety.

When there’s a big crowd in and out of the main office, it would be very easy for an outsider to slip in.

Where there’s a chaotic and undersupervised exchange of goods, it would be very easy for someone to drop off weapons or drugs.

Also, now that delivery services can run errands anywhere, we’re opening up schools to receive special deliveries of things like booze. Fireworks. Live crickets. I don’t know … GLITTER.

Bear in mind that I’m imagining large schools because I’ve only worked at large schools. It might be different at a very small school. (But honestly, I still feel a little nervous about teenagers + underdeveloped frontal lobes + delivery of whatever they want.)

If students in a club or organization want a special lunch, their teacher can order it.

The end.

Dear We Are Teachers,

This coming school year will be my fourth year in the same district. And if everything continues as planned, it’s my fourth year split between two schools. I spend the morning at one school, then drive to the other halfway through the day and end there. I really love the teachers, students, and administration at both schools, I’m just tired of splitting and doubling. Splitting my time between two schools. Doubling the meetings, supplies, decorations, etc. Admin says there’s no full-time position. So do I double down and demand full-time, stay put, or start looking somewhere else?

—Should i stay or should i go

Dear S.I.S.O.S.I.G.,

I’ve been in this position! And weirdly, I believe it was also my fourth year in the district! Are we doing a matrix-y glitch thing here?

You’re right that it’s tough to split your time between schools. I know that was a rough year for me. Not in an extreme, panic-attack way, but just a quiet, sad way. In addition to your points, I also had a hard time not feeling like I belonged to either campus. At the end of the year, teachers in my hallway still looked at me puzzled, like, “Who are you again?”

Since I’m betting you have signed your contract for next year (and since it sounds like everything else about both schools has been lovely), I would have a conversation with your principal soon where you lay out the following:

• Why splitting schools is so tough
• What are some changes that can be made in the meantime (being paid for transportation between schools, seeing if you can opt out of certain meetings, etc.)
• How much longer you’re willing to stay in this position

It might sound like this:

“I’m so grateful to be a part of [School 1] and [School 2]. I just want to be transparent about how tough it’s been for me to navigate splitting my time between schools. I stay on top of two schools’ emails, go to two schools’ meetings, and stay on top of paperwork, changes, and announcements for both schools. Plus, I have two classrooms to decorate, set up, prepare for testing, and take down. I know you don’t have a full-time position available right now and that’s out of your control. But I just wanted to be honest about my bandwidth out of respect to you and the staffing planning you have to do. I think I can stick out this arrangement for one more year. Can we discuss some changes that would make it easier for me in the meantime?”

That way, you’re making your needs known in a respectful way, but hopefully also lighting a fire under your principal to find a way to keep you in the next year. Plus, if they don’t try hard enough to keep you, you’ve set yourself up as a hardworking team player and clear communicator—qualities that will look great on a letter of recommendation for somewhere else.

Dear We Are Teachers,

I’ve recently accepted a new position as an Multilingual Learning Director. I’m so excited but also super nervous. It’s in a new district where I don’t know any of the teachers. Do you have any ideas/suggestions on how to build community, support the teachers, and help streamline communication? Basically, what’s the best advice you have on being a great leader?

—won’t settle for mid

Dear W.S.F.M.,

So exciting! Congratulations! We have plenty of resources about supporting teachers, building rapport, and just generally being the best leader around.

But before we get there, can I just give you a rundown of traits my all-time favorite school leaders have shared?

1. They didn’t rush to conflict, but they also weren’t afraid it. I know it might sound weird to say that I valued a leader that isn’t afraid of conflict, but conflict is so necessary for any group to grow. I saw too often how our growth—as a school, a department, or a team—stalled when leaders refused to have tough conversations or negotiate conflict.
2. They cared about me as a person, not just as an employee. They asked me about myself and the typical small-talk questions, but they also wanted to know about the way I think, how I make decisions, and my personality.
3. They recognized my value. There’s nothing more demoralizing than busting your tail only to wonder, “Does anyone see this?” A kind email—even just two sentences!—recognizing achievements goes such a long way.
4. They trusted me. I’m a naturally anxious person, so I’m already way more critical of myself than any leader has been. But I always did my best work with leaders who I knew trusted and believed in me.

Here are some more things to consider on leadership from our editorial staff and We Are Teachers community:

Congratulations! You’re going to do great.

Do you have a burning question? Email us at askweareteachers@weareteachers.com.

Dear We Are Teachers,

The students at our high school drive so recklessly I constantly wonder when I or someone else are going to meet our demise on our way into the building. I’ve talked to my AP, but he just said that’s how kids drive. Is there anything that can be done to make things safer? 

—living on a prayer

When I left the classroom after 11 years to become an editor at We Are Teachers, I was determined to stay connected to real teachers—their struggles, their triumphs, their experiences. So, I made regular classroom visits a part of my professional goals.

In the past two years, I’ve edited yearbooks with high school seniors and helped make DIY guitars with 3rd graders to study sound waves. I’ve visited private and public schools, charter schools and early childhood campuses. I’ve talked to teachers on the brink of tears from overwhelm, and a teacher who openly cried with gratitude for finding her dream school. It’s never easy to find time in my schedule for a school visit, but every time, I come away with a renewed sense of awe for teachers—and determination to amplify their voices.

When I reach out to schools, I always clarify that I’m ready to do whatever they need. And I mean whatever. I’ll tutor. Make bulletin boards. Clean. Laminate, sort, make copies, organize, sharpen pencils, alphabetize, sanitize—give me the dirty work.

But recently, when I reached out to a counselor I know to see if I could do two days back-to-back, she had a different idea in mind. What about subbing at two different schools—elementary and middle school—to give some of their teachers an extra conference period?

“YES!” I told her. “Put me in, coach!”

Oh, my friends. I got put in, all right.

Here are some of my thoughts, insights, and takeaways after being out of the classroom since 2022.

1. So much invisible work goes into being a teacher.

When I started planning to sub for two days, I made a list of some activities to have in my back pocket just in case we had downtime. Things like games, activities, “Would You Rather?” questions. I was ready.

Except … I wasn’t. A few minutes after a way-earlier-than-usual alarm went off the first morning, I realized I had to totally alter our morning routine in order to get my 2-year-old and myself ready simultaneously.

I hadn’t packed a lunch.

No idea where my travel tumbler was for my coffee.

Shoot. No time to walk my dog.

And I wouldn’t be able to go to my son’s soccer class demo at 9 a.m. or pick up the curbside order I had scheduled for 11 a.m.

How had I forgotten all of this?

Something I realized through this experience is all the invisible work that goes into being a teacher. Yes, it’s the workday—and the grading and planning that happens outside of the workday. But it’s also the myriad of ways teachers have to calculate, plan ahead, and adapt to a job that demands they be “on” all the time.

(Also, in all the commotion and frenzy, I forgot to put on deodorant. This will become important later.)

2. Kinder and 1st grade teachers, you are gods among men.

Of all the grades I subbed for over two days, I was least prepared for the kinder and 1st grade classes (this is even after my gigantic learning experience subbing for kindergarten years ago). What on earth.

Their teacher had such fabulous routines and expectations in place that the first 15 minutes were a dream. I read from a book of nature poems. They sat on their squares on the rug. They were attentive. Adorable.

I got to a poem about a coconut tree with, to be frank, what had an absolutely dope rhyme scheme. So, I thought I’d add in some fun!

“Do you want to dance to this song?” I asked. A primal expression flashed across their eyes.

It’s my fault for deviating from the routine, but that’s where I lost them. Utter madness. I thought maybe a benevolent student would intervene, calm everyone down, and help me out. But every last one of them was lost in the sauce.

We never recovered.

Teachers of littles: You continue to have my undying respect.

3. Yes, cell phone bans are the answer.

The population breakdown at this middle school was identical to my last school. But for some reason, these kids seemed remarkably more upbeat, social, and—I don’t know how to describe it—bouncier? This comfortable goofiness is unique to middle schoolers, especially toward the end of the year.

I told this to a receptionist, and without skipping a beat, she told me, “It’s the phones.”

I had totally forgotten this district made the move to ban student cell phones at all elementary and middle school campuses. And it wasn’t just the receptionist—every teacher I talked to told me the impact of getting rid of cell phones was immediate, positive, and, most of all, huge.

Until we figure out a more creative solution for the death grip phones have on students’ attention, health, and happiness, bans are the answer.

4. Kids are still the best thing ever.

I realized during my time in the classroom how much I’ve missed working with kids. The students at these two schools cracked me up, helped me work out a plot kink in the book I’m working on(!), amazed me with their kindness and silliness, and definitely made me miss the gift of working with kids every day.

A kindergartner told me, “You smell like the beach,” which is how I realized I didn’t put on deodorant. (“Like, coconut sunscreen?” I asked hopefully. “No,” he said shaking his head. “Like, bad.”)

A 3rd grader whispered nervously in my ear, “I think I found a can of beer,” then pointed to the energy drink (unopened) I had waiting on my desk.

A 5th grader heard me say I used to teach at a local middle school and asked if I knew his cousin. “No, I haven’t heard that name. When did he go there?” I asked. “Oh, he doesn’t,” he said. “He lives in Ohio.” WHY ARE KIDS SO FUNNY.

I got to sit in on a high school writing workshop, which brought inexplicable joy to my English teacher heart.

Also, two middle schoolers liked my shoes and a high schooler complimented my hair bandanna, so I will be living off that teenage generosity for the next, oh, I don’t know, decade.

5. Attacks on literacy are still devastating to teachers—regardless of their political affiliation.

Pivoting to the very serious here, but in Texas there is very much still an active attack on literacy. Many districts across the state—including this one—have fired their librarians. Classroom libraries are under the microscope. (This collective attack on literacy was a big part of why I left in 2021.)

But talking to teachers, I was surprised to hear that the aftermath continues to be devastating. Even more surprising to me is that, despite the attack on literacy being politically motivated, teachers on both sides of the political spectrum agreed that the bans on books, the demonization of librarians, and the unnecessary oversight on classroom reading was having dire, cruel effects on their students.

6. Using a bathroom on a schedule is NOT an ability that’s “just like riding a bike.”

Have you seen the science experiment where an empty can of Coke crumples under pressure? That’s what I was convinced was going to happen to my lower half if I held in a fart in a middle school classroom any longer. At one point, my stomach was so close to breaking I involuntarily shot down into my rolly chair so low I almost fell out.

I thought my body might be, I don’t know, permanently altered from my time in the classroom and that I’d just fall back in step with not being able to use a bathroom for four hours at a time.

Nope. It’s a skill you can definitely lose.

7. Teaching is uniquely exhausting—and brave as hell.

People think the most exhausting thing about teaching is the kids, but it’s not. It’s mentally being on your A-game all day. Teachers can’t duck out and put someone else in charge. They can’t take 20 minutes whenever to take a breather, meditate, process, or unpack a situation. That mental demand is unreal—plus the physical exhaustion of being on your feet, a humid Houston fire drill, recess duty, not to mention waking up at the crack of dawn.

8. Schools are sacred places.

This is something I didn’t begin to grasp until I was out of the classroom, but there is a very special energy in a school building that’s just not there in other workplaces. Is it the people who work in schools? The students themselves? Maybe a special alchemy when you combine the smell of oil pastels, the shaky first notes of a middle school orchestra, the screech of sneakers on vinyl flooring?

I’m not sure. But if it’s not holy, it’s pretty dang close.

My two days back in the classroom were many things. Depressing, like when a teacher pointed out to me the librarian, pregnant with her first child, who was told recently along with all the other district librarians that her contract would be renewed. Perplexing, as in, “How did I do that for 11 years?” And deeply, deeply exhausting.

But it was also hopeful—seeing how reducing cell phone time revived an entire school. It was inspiring to watch teachers at the end of a school year reach into their reserves to continue to have kindness and patience for their students (and me).

But I think the best word for my two days back in classrooms is “validating.” Subbing reminded me that one of the best ways I can advocate for teachers and the magic they create on a daily basis is to make sure they’re getting their voices heard. I’m honored I get to do this—and I hope every classroom visit reminds me of this privilege.

For more articles like this, be sure to subscribe to our newsletters.

Dear We Are Teachers,

I’ve put off getting a dog throughout college and my first few years of teaching because I wanted to wait until I could provide it with a happy life. I do live alone and have a 30-minute commute to school. But now that I’m financially stable, have summers off, have a more manageable schedule, and live in an apartment with a dog run, I think I could be a great dog owner. I paid a deposit to get an English springer spaniel puppy just as school is letting out so I’ll have time to train her. My parents are furious, saying that with a teaching schedule, it’s cruel to get a dog. What are your thoughts? 

—pawsitively prepared

Dear P.P.,

Oh, I love so many things here:

• Dogs
• Teachers
• Your commitment to making sure you can offer a dog a happy life
• Your parents’ concern, because I think it comes from a good place
• The mere thought of an English springer spaniel puppy. Hang on. I think I need to Google them. GOOD HEAVENS their little freckled legs and bellies have sent me into orbit!

OK. Let’s move on to the less fun part.

I think “cruel” is a harsh word for this situation. I do think there are some factors to consider on your route to pet ownership, though.

First, bird dogs are some of the highest-energy breeds. I’m no dog expert, but anecdotally I can tell you they are very, very hard to wear out. My husband had a German shorthair pointer from before we got married, and even between a 2-mile morning run with me and a 5-mile run with my husband in the evenings, he was still doing parkour all over the walls, furniture, and humans in our house—and that was at age 5!

Second, a puppy is a puppy for much longer than just a summer. Often, the biting, chewing, jumping, and human energy dedicated to training and retraining lasts years. (See my earlier point about our 5-year-old bionic GSP.)

Similarly, sometimes people forget when they get a dog that it needs to fit into their future life, not just their present life. Think about your personal and professional goals over the next 10 years. Do you plan to start a family? Move? Will caring for a high-energy breed fit into those plans?

Here’s what I would do. Before you do anything, find a Facebook group of English springer spaniel owners. Be honest about your schedule, commute, the size of your apartment, your expectations, and ask for their guidance on whether they’d recommend this breed for you as a starter dog. Speak, too, with a representative at a local shelter about all of your lifestyle factors. A shelter might be able to set you up with a foster opportunity as well as recommend what breeds (or ages) of dogs might be right for you at this time.

You may have to make some tough choices and readjust your expectations. But having a teacher’s schedule and being a responsible dog owner are not mutually exclusive. And remember, if you decide a puppy isn’t right for you right now, who’s to say it won’t be right for you later on?

Dear We Are Teachers,

I have to prepare a sample lesson for the second round of an interview in a couple of weeks. I have several questions. 1. Would it be better to show a less impressive lesson I feel more comfortable with, or a VERY impressive lesson that isn’t guaranteed to go perfectly? 2. When I request a personal day to be out for this interview, what should I tell my current principal? 3. Do you have any other tips for teaching a sample lesson for an interview?

—INCOGNITO INSTRUCTOR

Dear I.I.,

1. When the stakes are high and there’s potential for nerves, I always recommend the more comfortable route. Yes, the beaded mermaid bridal gown might be stunning, but you can actually dance in the full skirt one (and it has pockets!). Yes, the direct flight is more expensive, but do you really want to risk more delays with a layover just before your big conference speech? You get the picture.

Your interview panel isn’t looking (or shouldn’t be looking, at least) to be blown away by the lesson itself. They’re looking at you. They want to see if you’re someone with classroom presence who can connect with students, keep their cool under pressure, and engage students in learning. Your best bet at accomplishing that is if you feel confident and comfortable.

2. You will be sick and you will use a sick day. (Consider this: If you don’t get the job, do you want your current principal to know you’re looking around?)

3. Yes! Ask if you can arrive early to set up, and use that time to observe students, get a sense of behavior management, etc. Try to bring everything you can instead of relying on your host teacher for materials. (Think about the stomach-drop if you suddenly hear, “Oh, I forgot you needed markers!” or “We don’t have the computer cart today.”) Plus, here are 10 elements to include in your demo lesson and some of our best interview tips.

Good luck!

Dear We Are Teachers,

I got called into my AP’s office this week for not turning in my lesson plans on time (they’re due Sunday by 11 p.m. every week and I sent them at 7:11 Monday morning). I apologized and said I was very tired after a long weekend. He responded, “Well, you weren’t too tired to write a Facebook status at 11:30 p.m.,” and pulled up a screenshot on his phone. Then he said I could either take accountability and apologize for lying or be written up for insubordination. I was angry and told him to go ahead and write me up, and I’ve been fuming about it ever since. I don’t know how he got my Facebook status—we’re not friends and I have my account set to private. Can administrators punish you for information they obtain about your personal life?

P.S. My status was about how tired I was from the long weekend!

—Insubordi-nancy

Dear I.,

Where do you work? I’m asking because I’d love to interview an administrator with enough time to care this much about something so egregiously petty. Clearly, this is a school without any student discipline, phones, chronic absenteeism, upset parents, student violence, test scores, or paperwork to take care of! (*Stares in sarcasm*)

Here’s the thing. It sounds like this isn’t your first scuffle with this cream-faced loon (let me know if you need more satisfying Shakespearean insults). Without an intervention, I don’t see him magically softening toward you and letting you off his radar anytime soon.

If you’d rather not rock any boats, you could meet with him and apologize. People with giant egos tend to accept “You were right, my liege” pretty quickly. Then, go nuclear on your Facebook friends list. Someone you both know sent him that screen shot, and that’s weird.

But if you’re feeling up for some boat-rocking, talk to a union representative at your school about the situation. Even if you’re not in a union, they can advise you on whether or not the write-up is justified and what your next course of action should be.

Do you have a burning question? Email us at askweareteachers@weareteachers.com.

Dear We Are Teachers,

I’m leaving my 3rd grade position at the end of the year on good terms with my principal and school. My principal asked if I’d be willing to sit in as part of a panel for interviews for my replacement. I said yes at first, thinking it might be helpful for me to provide feedback on the position. But the more I think about it, I don’t really know what I could contribute. Other teachers at our school and my partner teacher will all be on the panel and can provide any relevant information. Will it look bad if I change my mind and say no? 

—AWKWARD INTERVIEW TURTLE

Between my job as an education editor and raising a toddler, I seek out a lot of content about kids from people who know more than me. I’ve noticed that usually experts leave a lot of wiggle room with what they’re sharing or recommending. “Every family is different,” “If this doesn’t resonate with you, that’s OK!” or “This isn’t for everyone,” that kind of thing. But a few weeks ago, I listened to a podcast where Dr. Jonathan Haidt, an expert on youth anxiety and the author of The Anxious Generation: How the Great Rewiring of Childhood Is Causing an Epidemic of Mental Illness, shared four guidelines on phones for kids.

And let me tell you: He did not mince words.

It was a little surprising to hear such a firm stance, but I also deeply appreciated it. As a middle school teacher, I watched the emergence of smartphones in the classroom over a span of 11 years. And during this time, I think anyone in education—even those working in elementary schools—will tell you what a problem phones have become. Teachers can’t compete. Administrators struggle with addressing online bullying and harassment. Parents feel pressured and hopeless to roll back what’s been done. And the kids are not OK.

We were lucky enough to chat with Dr. Haidt’s chief researcher Zach Rausch, Associate Research Scientist at New York University, with some questions about Dr. Haidt’s work, the implications for kids and schools, and what parents and teachers can do. Check out what he had to say.

Teachers have been blowing the whistle for years that smartphones are harming kids. How has “The Great Rewiring” affected girls and boys differently? 

Zach Rausch: “The Great Rewiring” has affected all of our children, but research consistently shows that social media harms girls more than boys. On average, girls spend more time on social media platforms than boys and prefer visually oriented platforms like Instagram and TikTok, which are much worse for social comparison than text-based platforms like Reddit. There are many other ways that social media platforms uniquely harm girls, including exacerbated relational aggression and online predation. To get a sense of the scale of harm, Arturo Bejar (a whistleblower from Facebook) revealed that just about one in seven 13-to-15-year-old children have received an unwanted sexual solicitation on Instagram in the last seven days. 

Now, to better understand why girls and boys have been impacted differently, we need to look at some fundamental psychological differences between them (on average). Although girls and boys are motivated by agency (the desire to stand out and compete) and communion (the desire to develop a sense of belonging to a group) from an early age, there emerges a gender difference: Boys choose more agency activities, and girls choose more communion activities. This helps us understand why girls moved their social lives more substantially onto social media platforms while boys moved more substantially toward online video games. 

Social media appeals to the desire for communion, while online video games appeal to the desire for agency. In both cases, as teen boys and girls moved their social lives onto these new online platforms, their rates of loneliness, uselessness, and meaninglessness surged upwards. These platforms sell connection and agency but ultimately provide little of it. 

What guidelines would you recommend parents and schools across the country adopt? 

ZR: The most important idea in the book is that parents and teens are stuck in a social trap. No teenage girl wants to be the only one who is not on Instagram. No teenage boy wants to be the only one who cannot play Fortnite. No parent wants to make their child feel socially isolated. Even if kids do not enjoy being on these platforms, being connected with their friends is enough to keep them there. Therefore, we need to help both parents and teens break out of this trap.

And in the book, we recommend four “new norms” that can help us do this. 

Four “new norms” for kids and phones:

1. No smartphones before high school. (Flip phones are fine.) 
2. No social media until age 16. 
3. Schools should ban phones during the entire school day. Just put them into a phone locker or Yondr pouch.
4. Finally, we need to give our kids more independence, freedom, and responsibility to play or hang out with one another on their own in the real world, just as most of us did when we were their age. 

If your kids are in elementary school, you can get ahead of this now by setting good habits and coordinating with other parents to agree on the age limits around the phone and social media use. 

If you’ve already given your kids smartphones and social media, don’t despair. There’s still a lot you can do. The most important thing we can do is help provide our children with structure around their screen time usage. For example, we can set a policy of no phones in the bedroom at night and no phone use during meals. 

We also want to help give young people more time with one another in the real world. Arranging playdates or encouraging older teens to meet up with friends on their own will go a long way in bolstering their mental health. Independence and real-world interactions are just as important as limiting time on phones. 

For teachers and parents who want their schools to go phone-free, what statistics or talking points do you think are most powerful to bring to a school, PTA, or school board? 

ZR: AnxiousGeneration.com is our main hub for resources related to the Anxious Generation. Here, educators and parents can find an abundance of resources to support change in their community, including action guides, pre-written text and emails to send to like-minded individuals, and a petition for schools to go phone-free and play-full. 

Should parents and teachers be hopeful that the next generation of kids will have a healthier relationship with phones and social media? 

ZR: There are many reasons to have hope. 

First, the response to the book has been overwhelmingly positive. It really resonates with parents, teachers, educators, and young people; and we are hearing directly from them how important this issue is. 

The biggest opponent we are facing is not that parents disagree with us—it is that so many feel hopeless. Our goal is to show that there really is a lot we can do, especially if we act together. 

As I mentioned before, parents and teens are stuck in a trap where we all use platforms we don’t necessarily like because everyone else is using them. And this is precisely why we need to coordinate together to delay smartphones and social media. We need to help break our kids out of this trap and free the Anxious Generation.

A final note for teachers and parents:

We’re so grateful for Dr. Haidt’s work and for Zach Rausch’s time in answering our questions. With so much ambiguity in discussions about cell phone guidelines for teens and tweens, it’s reassuring to have clarity—clarity that doesn’t blame or shame but equips us to do better.

We’ve long recognized the escalating crisis that smartphones pose in our schools and homes. The challenges might seem intimidating, but with collective action on behalf of our kids, we can empower the next generation with healthier habits and more meaningful, real-world interactions. Like Rausch says, it’s not too late.

For more articles like this, be sure to subscribe to our newsletters.

Dear We Are Teachers,

I teach 6th grade in a pretty wealthy district, so we get a lot of springtime requests for letters of recommendation for private schools. I have a child in my class with a long history of disrespect to teachers and peers. This fall, he started an Instagram bullying campaign that caused a classmate to transfer districts because of its effect on her mental health, and in January he started blackmailing other kids for money. And his parents? Let’s just say he learned the way to treat people directly from them. The 7th grade teachers on my team are begging me to write him a glowing recommendation so he gets in and leaves our school. I, too, want to spare them from this family—but lying feels wrong. What should I do? 

—stuck between a rock and a tough student

Dear S.B.A.R.A.A.T.S.,

I’m not even going to touch this one. Here’s advice from a very professional, very trustworthy counselor I know who has seen this situation many times:

“What a delightful child! Kidding.

All of the recommendation forms I’ve filled out—and I’ve filled out many over the years—have very straightforward questions that can be answered with short responses. Keep your responses short and say nothing negative unless directly asked. If the form asks directly about discipline issues, mark nothing unless there has been a formal office referral. You do not need to be positive, just be neutral. Private schools are only looking for reasons to not admit. They are not using these to compare positive traits. This allows you to be honest, helps your colleagues out, and hopefully gives the child a fresh start somewhere new.”

(Isn’t she great?)

Dear We Are Teachers,

The majority of parents at our elementary school are kind and loving parents. But some parents I meet with seem to genuinely dislike their kids. Last week, I was in a meeting about a 4th grade student’s behavior with the mother and child. The mom said, in front of my student, “Why does this matter? He’s going to drop out of high school. He’s lazy.” Is it my place to tell the parent that’s inappropriate … and just plain mean?

—tired of mean parents

Dear T.O.M.P.,

You’re right (and human) to flinch at a parent talking to their child this way. I don’t think it’s your place to correct them beyond a simple, “That’s not true—David works hard at x, y, z” in the moment. But it’s important to follow up in two different ways.

First, document and share any comments like this with your school counselor and principal. Likely nothing will happen. But intervening with parenting is more their realm.

Second—and most important—follow up with your student. It’s OK to be direct that you disagree with their parent. “Hey, I wanted to check in with you about the meeting yesterday. Your mom was frustrated and shared some opinions about you. But I just want you to know: I don’t think you’re lazy. I think you can do anything you put your mind to. Let me know if you ever need a pep talk, because I believe in you big-time. OK?”

Remember, too, that this mom might have been having a rough day. More likely she’s been having a rough era considering how the last several years have been for all of us. I’m not saying tough times give parents a green light to speak to kids harshly. But remember that she’s a person, too. The best way to change her behavior is the same way we change kids’ behavior—with empathy, kindness, and evidence that the harmful narratives they’ve learned aren’t true.

Dear We Are Teachers,

I interviewed and accepted a job to teach a high school leadership class next year. When I went to sign my contract, it said something about in-school suspension. I asked the principal about it and she said in-school suspension IS the leadership class. Should I accept and hope it will help me get my foot in the door at that school? Or not sign at all?

—I FEEL catfished

Dear I.F.C.,

Oh, honey. You feel catfished because you were catfished!

We’ve seen many stories of teachers getting the old bait-and-switch—here’s one from a woman who was told she’d be a kindergarten aide only to show up and be told she was on forever lunch duty. It’s happening a lot in other job sectors, too, and it’s fraudulent.

Trust me, if this is how the school runs, you don’t want your foot in that door. Don’t sign the contract and don’t look back.

Do you have a burning question? Email us at askweareteachers@weareteachers.com.

Dear We Are Teachers,

I teach large sections of 5th grade advanced math (between 36 and 40 kids). I naturally have a loud, deep voice (I also coach) and occasionally have to raise my voice to get everyone’s attention. Last week, a table of girls was still working after I told students to put their pencils down. I said it again, and two of the girls looked up at me, smiled, and kept working. So finally I said quite loud, “Pencils down!” I got an email that night that my “yelling” at a student “inflicted unnecessary trauma.” I responded politely and apologized, plus I apologized to the student the next day in class. But now the parent wants to meet to discuss “adjusting my teaching strategies so this doesn’t happen to another child.” What? Loud voices are traumatic now?

—MY VOICE CARRIES!

Dear We Are Teachers,

I teach large sections of 5th grade advanced math (between 36 and 40 kids). I naturally have a loud, deep voice (I also coach) and occasionally have to raise my voice to get everyone’s attention. Last week, a table of girls was still working after I told students to put their pencils down. I said it again, and two of the girls looked up at me, smiled, and kept working. So finally I said quite loud, “Pencils down!” I got an email that night that my “yelling” at a student “inflicted unnecessary trauma.” I responded politely and apologized, plus I apologized to the student the next day in class. But now the parent wants to meet to discuss “adjusting my teaching strategies so this doesn’t happen to another child.” What? Loud voices are traumatic now?

—My voice carries!

Dear M.V.C.,

I have conflicting thoughts on this as a person who both 1) thinks it’s a problem that we’ve started to call everything trauma and 2) really, really, really hated being yelled at as a kid.

First, no, I don’t think you inflicted trauma on this student by raising your voice. I think your principal needs to intervene and say, “He has 40 kids in that class and your child wasn’t listening after several redirects. End of story.”

But I do think it’s worth examining whether you raise your voice out of frustration or purely to be heard. When we yell out of frustration regularly to a class, it sends the message that this class holds the power, not me. That can feel really unstable for kids, especially your anxious ones (that would be me!).

Maybe you can find an attention-getter that doesn’t rely on you having to yell. Wireless doorbells, maybe. Or one of these noise meters that can prevent it from getting too loud in the first place.

You’ve got enough to stress about with giant class sizes. Don’t stress yourself (or your voice!) even more by hollering.

Dear We Are Teachers,

I am very confused by the dress code for teachers at our school. In our school’s code of conduct, the only stipulations apart from “professional dress and hygienic appearance” are no open-toed shoes or jeans on undesignated days. Fine. But twice now I have been called to the office because my clothing has been “unprofessional.” Once for wearing slacks with a fitted wool jacket that had a hood (“It’s a hoodie,” my principal said), and just this week for trousers with back pockets that “looked like jeans” (he eventually conceded that they were not, in fact, jeans). I don’t want to play the “But look at everyone else!” card, but you can walk down our hallway and see tons of teachers in jeans with holes in them and hoodies that are definitely better-suited to lawn work than to school. What’s his deal, and do I call him on it?

—Why me?

Dear W.M.,

My 30-second unlicensed armchair psychoanalyst diagnosis is that this is a man with big-time control issues. We’re in a historic teacher shortage, and you have the gall to go hard on jeans?

I wouldn’t open the conversation retroactively about one of your past wardrobe “indiscretions.” But I would do two things:

1. If you think this could be discrimination, talk to a union rep.

Women—especially women with curvy bodies—are more often faced with dress code discrimination. If you happen to see that the people who aren’t getting in trouble for their hoodies or jeans or open-toed shoes are also people who don’t like you, this could be grounds for a lawsuit. (What? I have zero chill for discriminatory school districts these days.)

2. If it happens again, ask for clearer guidelines.

“Thanks for the feedback. Could you provide me with some guidelines on your expectations for professional dress? I was striving for the level of professional dress I see in other teachers, but there seems to be a discrepancy for what’s expected of me vs. everyone else.”

This statement is a little risky, sure. But petty tyrants like him need to know you won’t put up with this, and/or that he is seriously flirting with a workplace discrimination case.

Dear We Are Teachers,

I’m in my 7th year of teaching first grade, and this school year I got paired with a 24-year teacher. We spend a lot of time together planning, grading, eating lunch, etc., and she is so negative. Anything I’m excited about, she’ll turn it into a complaint. If I say our students look cute for the living history museum, she’ll say how parents spend $200 to put a cute picture on Instagram. When I came up with a camping-themed week for the end of the year, she immediately said, “I don’t have that kind of energy.” I popped into her room yesterday to tell her about the fancy catered lunch from the PTA, and she said, “Don’t they know we would just prefer a raise?” I’m so tired of being dragged down all the time. Has anyone ever had success in lifting up a Debbie Downer, or should I just ask my principal to switch partners next year?

—Womp wahhhhh

Dear W.W.,

I remember feeling this way about more experienced teachers at my first school. Then, as I gained more experience, I understood how they got that way. Constant disappointment in the system will make anyone jaded. Exhaustion and powerlessness can easily lead to negativity. Being beat down begets bitterness. Say that three times fast.

However, this doesn’t mean every teacher has the green light to be a total bummer.

You can be drained without draining others. You can be frustrated without ruining experiences for everyone else.

I would wait for a private moment where you both have plenty of time to talk and respond. (That is, not during recess duty or your planning period.) Front-load with gratitude and empathy. Avoid blaming. Say something like this:

“Candice, I’m so glad we get to work together. Your experience and expertise are invaluable to me. I wanted to share with you something that has been challenging for me. I know that you have dealt with a lot as a teacher over the years. But it’s really hard for me to feel confident or enthusiastic about teaching when I’m met with negative comments. I don’t need a Pollyanna or constant affirmation or for you to change your personality. I just need to feel like my partner believes in me and is excited for me. That would help me a lot. Can you do that for me?”

And honestly? She might not be able to get there. That’s OK. It might be a wake-up call for her to embrace the sunny side. It may also be a wake-up call that she needs to retire. If she doesn’t change, talk to your principal about a new partner teacher for next year. But something’s gotta fold, and we can’t let it be your happiness.

Do you have a burning question? Email us at askweareteachers@weareteachers.com.

Dear We Are Teachers,

I’ve been teaching 6th grade science at a Title I middle school for three years now. From what I understand, schools in our district get a thousand dollars every year to spend on their school/students “as they see fit.” What does our principal use it for? 1) Renting a snow machine in December (as you can imagine, this is a nightmare), 2) a pumpkin patch in October (less of a nightmare, just more confusing for kids), and 3) an end-of-standardized testing season party in May with snow cones and bouncy houses (also a nightmare). Other teachers are frustrated by this spending, but they said she has railed against anyone who criticizes her. I think I have a pretty good relationship with this principal, and I think getting her to use the budget for things we really need—an updated math curriculum, for example—would go a long way. Should I chance a convo with her? 

—I LOVE A SNOW CONE, TOO, BUT…

Dear We Are Teachers,

I’ve been teaching 6th grade science at a Title I middle school for three years now. From what I understand, schools in our district get a thousand dollars every year to spend on their school/students “as they see fit.” What does our principal use it for? 1) Renting a snow machine in December (as you can imagine, this is a nightmare), 2) a pumpkin patch in October (less of a nightmare, just more confusing for kids), and 3) an end-of-standardized testing season party in May with snow cones and bouncy houses (also a nightmare). Other teachers are frustrated by this spending, but they said she has railed against anyone who criticizes her. I think I have a pretty good relationship with this principal, and I think getting her to use the budget for things we really need—an updated math curriculum, for example—would go a long way. Should I chance a convo with her? 

—I love a snow cone, too, but …

Dear I.L.A.S.C.T.B.

Eek. If the teachers who really know the ropes (and your principal) aren’t choosing to fight this battle, I probably wouldn’t either. It sounds like she doesn’t take criticism well, which is a really hard leadership style to work for. 

But if you decide this is a conversation you want to have, I’d recommend two things:

1. Start with gratitude. I actually don’t think fun is the worst thing a principal could spend discretionary spending on. Acknowledge first that you see and appreciate the fun experiences she’s trying to cultivate for students at your school. It sounds like it’s a lot of work.
2. Come ready with prices. Be prepared for your conversation with how much the math curriculum costs or other swaps you’d recommend. Maybe she can still save some of her fun activities and make purchases kids need too.

If this doesn’t work, the best way to get the needle moving on any school issue is unhappy parents. They might love that their kids get these special opportunities, but they might love it less if they find out it comes at the cost of their learning.

Dear We Are Teachers,

I learned recently that my students—high school sophomores—are gambling. When I expressed surprise, they all pulled out their phones and showed me their current bets, past money they’d won, etc. One student admitted to losing $500 during the Super Bowl. Should I tell someone? Should I let their parents know? Or am I just being supremely un-fun?

—every party has a pooper

Dear E.P.H.A.P.,

“A pool table? Right here in River City?!”

(I made a stunning 7th grade debut in our town’s community theater production of The Music Man in 1998.)

You’re not being un-fun to have noticed that your students are gambling, but I don’t think you have to alert the presses, necessarily, either. Frankly, I’m more worried about other things they’re doing on their phones.

Put it on your principal’s radar and make sure students know gambling is illegal if you’re under 21. I don’t love knowing that younger kids are flirting with yet another addictive activity, but let’s save our energy for things like Zyns.

Dear We Are Teachers,

I teach at a relatively small high school with about 35 teachers. I like to bake as a side hobby, so several times this year I’ve brought specially decorated cookies to put in the staff lounge. I bring enough for each teacher to have one (plus an extra dozen for our administrative and cleaning staff), but someone always takes more than their fair share. Every time I’ve brought them, several teachers tell me they missed out. This last time, all the cookies were gone an hour after I put them out.

I am fully aware this is not a big deal in the grand scheme of things, but it makes me sad. Sharing these brings me joy, and I feel like my only option is to stop doing it. What can I do apart from sending a grumpy mass email reminding people of basic decency?

—Cranky cookie monster

Dear C.C.M.,

You are a cookie angel and must be protected at all costs.

My first instict—because there is something seriously broken and aggressive with my sense of justice—is to set up a camera in the staff lounge to catch the perps. But please do not do this. It is childish and unprofessional. I’m sharing for entertainment purposes only.

The easiest option: Put the cookies in the front office under the eagle eye of one of the receptionists. Don’t have it block traffic or cause disruption—and definitely make sure students and visitors won’t mistake them for sampling. Just say, “I brought these for everyone. Is it OK if I leave them here? People tend to take more than one when I’ve put them in the teachers lounge!” In my experience with front office staff, they will either gladly take on the tasks of valiantly defending your treats or will let you know another good, highly visible spot to put them.

Another option: Put cookies in individual mailboxes in the mail room. Pretty sure a cookie thief will be less likely to commit mail fraud. (But I wouldn’t put it past them.)

The funnest option: Get your principal’s permission to go around the school with a cookie cart once a quarter during your planning period. I can’t even process how happy this would make me as a teacher.

Do you have a burning question? Email us at askweareteachers@weareteachers.com.

Dear We Are Teachers,

I was interviewing for a new position this week, and the interviewer said over and over how their school is “like a family.” This phrase has always rubbed me the wrong way, and I told him so. Four hours later, I got a rejection email saying I’m “not a good culture fit.” What? Since when are we supposed to have the same intimacy level at work as we do in our own families?

—NOT YOUR FAM