Teacher burnout isn’t just common—it’s nearly universal. In a 2025 We Are Teachers survey of more than 2,400 teachers, 91.95% said they’ve experienced burnout, and nearly 75% rated their burnout as significant, serious, or severe.
Clearly, burnout is a widespread problem in teaching, but what’s driving it? The reasons can range from low pay that barely keeps a family afloat to the unhealthy working conditions in schools. For me, it was three reasons that emerged in a single school year: becoming a first-time mom (that is, realizing how incompatible teaching is with motherhood), dealing with challenging parents, and teaching during the pandemic.
But when we asked teachers to tell us why they’re burning out, it wasn’t just from pay or parents or even the pandemic. In fact, the overarching problem wasn’t even one of the multiple-choice options on our survey. I noticed that all the top responses from teachers boiled down to one single issue:
Teachers don’t have what they need to do their jobs.
The reasons are complex, but the message is simple: Teachers want to be able to do their jobs, and the system isn’t letting them.
The workload is crushing.
Nearly half of teachers (46%) said their workload is frequently overwhelming, and another 46% said it’s occasionally overwhelming. Only 9.5% described their workload as manageable.
This constant pressure is pushing teachers to the brink. A majority of 66% said they’ve considered leaving the profession in the past year. And when asked what advice they’d give to new teachers, about a third said simply: “Don’t do it.”
Others offered more nuanced guidance:
“All teachers feel behind. Choose an acceptable level of behindness and move on.” —N.P., Middle School Teacher, NY
Teachers have some support but not enough to do their job well.
While some teachers report reasonable access to professional development (47%), classroom supplies (45%), and class sizes (44%), these numbers reflect a system that’s inconsistent and often inadequate.
When asked what support teachers wish they had, the top responses were telling:
Clear communication from leadership (50.64%)
Recognition and appreciation (46.26%)
Time to collaborate with colleagues (45.45%)
Reduced administrative tasks (45.23%)
Protected planning time (44.11%)
Time. Clear communication. Some tasks taken off their plates. They’re not asking for the world here.
We Are Teachers
What specifically is driving teacher burnout?
The top contributors were student behavior (77%), lack of administrative support (53%), and lack of planning time (48%). Again, teachers just want to do their jobs … because they love their jobs.
You can’t do your job when your dysregulated 3rd grade student is throwing furniture and school supplies in your classroom while you and your 29 students wait and watch from a window in the hallway.
You can’t do your job when your administrator says, “I don’t know, do the best you can” when you explain that you have an 8th grader in your classroom who has attended in-district schools from kindergarten yet is still illiterate.
You can’t do your job when your job doesn’t give you the time to do it.
“We are teachers, not therapists or psychologists. Violent behaviors—especially repeatedly from the same student—need to be addressed and not swept under the rug.” —N.A., Elementary Teacher, VA
“I don’t mind working 60-hour weeks. I mind when administration is preventing me from being efficient.” —Wendy R., High School Teacher, MA
“My yearly budget is $600 as a science teacher. Most of what I need I pay for out of pocket.” —B. Roderick, Middle School Teacher, CO
How are they coping?
Teachers who haven’t burned out credit work-life balance, mindset, and setting boundaries—all strategies that reflect adapting to a system that doesn’t meet their needs.
Those who have burned out but stayed in the profession anyway say they rely heavily on setting limits around work, leaning on their support networks, and practicing time management. In other words, instead of thriving in a system designed to support them, they’ve learned how to keep the parts of teaching that are trying to break them at arm’s length.
And nearly every teacher mentioned one thing that still brings them joy: the students.
It’s no surprise—to me or to any teacher—that students are both the reason teachers stay and the reason they leave. Burnout often stems not from the students themselves, but from the system’s failure to support teachers in helping those students, whether it’s with behavior or academics.
What’s been lost?
Teachers spoke passionately in our survey about how the profession has changed, especially in the last 10 years.
“Creative expression and the time to deeply explore topics of student interest have mostly disappeared. The joy of learning has been sucked out of classrooms.” —H. Karram, Elementary Teacher, MI
“The lack of respect and support for the educator’s career is the most egregious problem of all.” —L.N., Elementary Teacher, OK
Here’s the bottom line: When teachers are supported, they thrive. They love their jobs. They stay. The solutions to solving teacher burnout is clear—and it’s not complicated. We’re just choosing not to listen.
Lately I’ve noticed a troubling trend among some of the parents at my school: gossip. Whether it’s in Facebook groups or group chats, info about me—an activity they didn’t like, jeans during Meet the Teacher (the horror!)— has made its way back to me via other teachers. It’s not just hurtful—it’s making it harder to build trust with families. I know I can’t control what parents say, but I’m tired of being the subject of group chat gossip. How do I protect my reputation and my sanity when the rumor mill won’t stop spinning?
—Burned by the Grapevine
Dear B.B.T.G.,
First of all, I don’t love that other teachers are coming to you with mean things other people are saying. How is that helpful? The next time someone brings you this kind of information, say, “I know you’re trying to help, and I appreciate the solidarity. But for next time, just know that I prefer to stay in the dark on this kind of thing.” Then, plug your ears, close your eyes, and go, “La, la, la” to demonstrate and provide some levity.
I will stop here and clarify that there is a difference between annoying gossip and bullying, intimidation, etc. If you have evidence that parents are ever saying things about you that are abusive, threatening, or make it hard for you to do your job, contact an administrator ASAP.
You are correct that you can’t control what parents say. But what you can control is what you disclose about yourself and your classroom. Take back control of the narrative with a weekly newsletter of what’s going on in class. Something parents love? An “Ask your kid about …” section or family dinner discussion question. It’s a simple way to increase transparency of what goes on in your classroom and remind them you’re on the same team.
Finally, I know this sounds ultra Mom™ of me, but remember that their gossip says way more about them than it does about you. Stay focused on your students, your craft, and the relationships that matter.
Dear We Are Teachers,
My school keeps scheduling IEP meetings after our contract hours are over in the afternoon. Sometimes I only get 24 hours notice, which isn’t enough time to secure alternate plans for someone to pick up my child from daycare. Is it appropriate to ask for these meetings to be held during contract hours, or is this just part of my job I need to accept? I want to advocate for myself professionally without seeming uncooperative.
—Contractually Conflicted
Dear C.C.,
Yes, it’s important for teachers to attend IEP meetings. But it’s also important for you to pick up your child from daycare! You shouldn’t have to fly into a scheduling frenzy every time an IEP is scheduled.
Here’s what I’d do. Stop by the office of the person scheduling these meetings in person and explain that you understand the importance of IEPs and want to support your students, but afternoons are tricky with picking up your child from daycare. My guess is that they’ll jump in here to work on a solution. If they don’t, offer to send detailed observations, strengths, areas for improvement, whatever else is needed—via email.
I am a new 2nd grade teacher struggling with what I think I’ve narrowed down to this: comparison. I got a job at my dream school, I love my team, and my students are a joy. But sometimes I feel sick (literally) that I can’t do something as well as Ms. Blake, or that I don’t have the energy for 16 class pets like Mrs. Williams, or that I’m not as fun/talented/smart as another teacher. My team keeps assuring me I’m doing great, but I can’t seem to stop wishing I was the best. Do you have any tips on how not to get caught up in the comparison game?
—Thief of Joy Robbery Victim
Dear T.O.J.R.V.,
Oh, honey! No one is an all-star right out of the gate. That’s like a 3-week-old baby being like, “Dang, I’m such a loser for not being able to walk yet.” The learning curve in teaching is long. Like, years long.
Your team is the most reliable source of feedback (even better than an appraiser, I’d argue). So if they’re saying you’re doing great, I’d believe them.
One way to combat comparing yourself to other teachers is by practicing gratitude. Write a mantra for yourself, something like, “I’m so grateful I get to be learning from and alongside such talented teachers,” or “The mentors in this school are shaping me into the kind of teacher I want to be for my students.” The next time you feel a flare-up of envy coming, refer back to your mantra to neutralize it.
And if that doesn’t help, email me and request stories of how bad I was my first year to make yourself feel better.
This year, our district rolled out a new curriculum with an aggressive pacing guide. I’m supposed to cover entire units in a matter of days, even though my students need way more time to grasp the material. I feel like I’m speed-running lessons, cutting corners, and leaving kids behind just to “stay on schedule.” It’s not how I want to teach, but I also don’t want to get in trouble for falling behind. How do I find a balance when the pacing guide is completely unrealistic?
This year, our district rolled out a new curriculum with an aggressive pacing guide. I’m supposed to cover entire units in a matter of days, even though my students need way more time to grasp the material. I feel like I’m speed-running lessons, cutting corners, and leaving kids behind just to “stay on schedule.” It’s not how I want to teach, but I also don’t want to get in trouble for falling behind. How do I find a balance when the pacing guide is completely unrealistic?
—Racing the Clock
Dear R.T.C.,
Oh, my friend. I could have written this question myself. Specifically in the years 2010-2013.
My best advice? Start gathering your data now. Know exactly what you were able to get to, what you weren’t, and when. Then, when you check for understanding, gather that data too.
Present that data—and your suggestion for what you’d like to see—to a department chair or academic coach. “I’m concerned that this is what we were able to cover, and this was the result. Do you think I might be able to spend a little more time with my students on the more fundamental concepts and spiral in the more advanced learning later?”
That way, you’re not flopping on their couch and saying, “I can’t hack it! This is impossible! What do I do?” You’re presenting inarguable information and a plan to address it. (You’re also not waiting for someone else to discover this problem, which is a surefire way to not get a lot of sympathy.)
Save the couch-flopping for day 3 of standardized testing in the spring. You’ll need it.
Dear We Are Teachers,
I just started at a new school this year (my fifth in education overall) that “strongly encourages” quarterly “community service” for the school. You come in on a Saturday and can choose between outdoor activities like picking up trash, painting, landscaping and gardening, etc., or indoor activities like helping out in the library, sorting supplies for the nurse or front office, and decorating bulletin boards. I’m sorry, this feels insane to me, and very much like the unpaid labor teachers already do, just usually from the comfort of their own home. None of the teachers I’ve spoken to seem to think this is out of line, and they all go every time. What do you think?
—Not Drinking That Kool-Aid
Dear N.D.T.K.A.,
OK, I hear you. And you’re not crazy. But I want to tell you this:
I love my Saturdays. I am very, very protective of teachers’ time. But I have worked for exactly three principals for whom I would do this exact thing for in a heartbeat if they asked me. For me, when I’m led by someone I respect and believe in, and when I can see for myself the vision they’re creating, I’m all in.
I would encourage you to try it out and see what you think. If it’s miserable, at least you tried. But what I can’t stop thinking about is that you haven’t found any teachers who complain about the community service thing. I’m thinking a school where the teachers don’t bat an eye about coming together to improve the school community is probably a pretty cool place to be.
That, or maybe a cult. Keep us posted.
Dear We Are Teachers,
I have a no-name “graveyard” in my 3rd grade class, a basket I’ve decorated with construction paper tombstones. When I get a worksheet that has no name on it, I put it in the graveyard and put a zero in the grade book as a placeholder. That notifies the parents their child has a missing grade, which prompts the student to look in the graveyard, put their name on it, and turn it in. This system has always worked for me … until last week. After report cards went out, parents basically started an uprising against my no-name policy and even the graveyard, citing it as too “macabre” for 3rd grade. My principal wants to meet next week. Should I be prepared to defend myself or eat crow?
—The Gravekeeper
Dear G.,
My first thought was that a graveyard isn’t too macabre for 3rd graders, but then again, as a child I pulled Thinner by Stephen King off my parents’ bookshelf and read it thinking it would be like Goosebumps, so maybe my expectations are a little askew. I do think that fun little tricks and traditions are part of what makes teaching so fun—and what makes teachers so memorable years later. Maybe the basket is decorated to resemble somewhere papers got lost rather than died. A corn maze? A labyrinth? Those circular clothing racks at Target?
Whatever you decide (and whatever your principal recommends), I do think a few things should be in place:
1. Parents should know about the no-name policy long before report cards.
The policy needs to be outlined in your syllabus or parent letter, and make sure to talk about it at open house. Frame it as one of the ways you help students become more responsible for their work in 3rd grade, and make sure parents know that as soon as the work is turned in, the grade will be updated.
2. Several days before report cards, meet with kids about their zeros and invite them to check if they’re in the no-name pile.
Also, send a mass email to all parents saying, “Hi parents! Grading deadlines are just around the corner. Today, I met with any students who are still missing work about getting those grades in. As a reminder, you can check the grade book yourself at https://www.weareteachers.com/behind-the-pacing-guide/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=behind-the-pacing-guide. Let me know if you have any questions.”
3. Compare the no-name pile against missing grades yourself.
Yes, even if you meet with kids and email parents, you will still have students who won’t check the no-name pile for their missing work. Ultimately, grades should be a reflection of students’ abilities in a given skill, not whether they remembered to write their name.
Finally, always be mindful about students with IEPs that might account for forgetfulness, overstimulation, impulsivity, or other factors that can make remembering to write your name genuinely tough (another reason it’s probably best to forego the graveyard imagery).
Our principal recently announced that during parent-teacher conferences, we’re only allowed to share “positive feedback.” If there’s a concern—academic, behavioral, or otherwise—we’re supposed to keep it to ourselves and let the parents “enjoy a celebration of their child.” I get wanting to highlight strengths, but I also believe parents deserve an honest picture of how their kid is doing. What’s the point of a conference if I can’t address areas of growth? I feel like I’m being asked to sugarcoat reality, and it doesn’t sit right with me. How do I balance being truthful with respecting my principal’s directive?
Our principal recently announced that during parent-teacher conferences, we’re only allowed to share “positive feedback.” If there’s a concern—academic, behavioral, or otherwise—we’re supposed to keep it to ourselves and let the parents “enjoy a celebration of their child.” I get wanting to highlight strengths, but I also believe parents deserve an honest picture of how their kid is doing. What’s the point of a conference if I can’t address areas of growth? I feel like I’m being asked to sugarcoat reality, and it doesn’t sit right with me. How do I balance being truthful with respecting my principal’s directive?
—Positivity Prisoner
Dear P.P.,
Can I make a guess here? My guess is that principals have heard feedback way too many times about parents being thrown off-guard by getting bad news at parent conferences. So, principals have told teachers to avoid the bad news—for now—and let student conferences serve as positive relationship-building opportunities. I don’t blame principals for that.
But here’s the issue: Conferences need to be a two-way conversation, not a shower of gold star confetti. Parents deserve an honest, balanced picture of how their child is doing—including both strengths and areas for improvement.
That said, your principal gave a directive, and I personally don’t believe this is one worth pushing back on. Instead, you’ve got to walk a fine line. Here’s how to navigate without getting yourself in hot water:
Lead with the good. Even in a tough conference, parents hear you more clearly when you start with what’s working. (“Sally is a deep thinker who makes great connections …”).
Reframe “concerns” as “next steps.” Instead of “They never turn in homework,” try “One area we’re building is consistency with homework. Here’s how I’m supporting them, and here’s how you can help at home.” That way you’re not “negative,” you’re growth-oriented.
Follow up outside of conferences. A quick phone call, email, or note home is often a better place for the harder stuff anyway. If your principal wants conferences to be 100% sunshine, you can respect that and still keep parents in the loop through other channels.
Now, there’s one caveat to all of this: Student conferences cannot be the time parents are first hearing about serious behavioral or academic concerns. Think about it: If you haven’t contacted them at all before about a big concern, you can’t drop that on them in a 15-minute meeting slot and then be like, “Welp, bye!” If you’ve been waiting for student conferences to have the first conversation about serious disrespect or big learning gaps, don’t. Instead, like my last point, let them know you’ll be following up ASAP about something you’ve noticed that requires a bit more time than your 15 minutes.
Dear We Are Teachers,
I teach 9th grade, and my students have no idea how to take notes. Their stamina is so low, they shut down at anything beyond fill-in-the-blank (which to me is more like Mad Libs than actual note-taking). I’ve tried modeling, scaffolding, even giving sentence starters, but it feels like I’m dragging them uphill every step of the way. How do you teach kids this very basic skill without losing your mind? Am I wasting my time?
—Out of Notes (and Patience)
Dear O.O.N.A.P.,
You’re not wasting your time — you’re teaching a foundational skill. The tricky part? A lot of students come to high school without ever being explicitly taught how to take notes. They’re used to fill-in-the-blank sheets because that’s all they’ve known.
Here’s how to build their stamina (and your sanity):
Start ridiculously small. Model taking notes on just a paragraph or two. Then stop, have them try, and compare. Scaling up gradually helps them realize it’s doable.
Teach multiple styles. Cornell Notes, boxing, mapping, charting—let them try out different methods of note-taking (here’s a list of 11 different types). Some kids thrive with visuals, others with outlines.
Focus on purpose, not format. Have them answer: Why are you taking these notes in class? (To review? To prep for a quiz? To capture big ideas?) Why might people need to know how to take notes for their jobs? Architect, influencer, NFL head coach, etc. The “why” makes the “how” less painful.
Check for transfer. Instead of grading the notes themselves, use them in a short quiz or reflection. When they see their notes work, the buy-in grows.
Good on you for putting in the work. You’re investing in a skill that their college professors and bosses (and honestly, maybe even their partners) will silently thank you for.
Dear We Are Teachers,
After 15 years teaching high school, I made the switch to middle school. It’s been great apart from one thing: My 6th graders’ executive functioning skills are basically nonexistent. If I give verbal directions, it’s like yelling into the void. “Open a new Google Doc.” “Wait—how? Where? Like this?” Unless I’m standing behind each kid pointing to their screen and affirming them six times in a row, nothing gets done. It’s exhausting, and I can’t be a human GPS for 30 students all year. How do I help them become more independent without totally losing it?
—Directions Go in One Ear and Out the Chromebook
Dear D.G.I.O.E.A.O.T.C.,
Weird, my 6th graders always clocked verbal directions the first time.
Hahahahahaha.
Welcome to the land of still-developing frontal lobes, my friend. All jokes aside, you can’t magically rewire their brains (please do not attempt), but you can make things easier on yourself and your students. Here’s how:
Chunk it, always. Give one step, let them do it, then give the next. Over time, combine steps to build stamina.
Use written + visual cues. Directions on the board, in Google Classroom, or with icons (like a Doc symbol) stick better than words floating in the air.
Make routines do the heavy lifting. If “open a Doc” is a constant, create a class ritual: same place, same clicks, same expectations. Eventually it becomes muscle memory.
Practice independence. When a student asks “Wait, how do I—?” redirect: “Check the board” or “Ask your table first.” At first it feels mean; later, it feels like freedom.
Make games out of verbal directions. As a brain break, play games like Simon Says or have students follow verbal directions to draw something without telling them what the finished product is. This will build their listening skills and their independence.
Celebrate tiny wins. When your class actually follows a two-step direction without intervention, stop and cheer. Positive reinforcement goes a long way.
Remember, it’s not you—it’s their age. Unlike the high schoolers you’re used to, 6th graders’ executive functioning is still under construction. But with consistency and patience (and maybe a deep breath before answering the 50th “Wait, what?”), you can build independence one step at a time.
When I accepted my current teaching position, I was promised regular classroom support—an aide to help with behavior, interventionists for struggling students, and a mentor teacher for guidance. Months into the school year, none of that has materialized. Instead, I’m drowning in paperwork, managing behavior issues solo, and scrambling to meet impossible demands with zero backup. Every time I ask about the promised support, I get vague excuses about “staffing shortages” or “budget cuts.” I’m exhausted and feeling duped. How do I advocate for myself without putting a target on my back?
I fully support our gifted and talented students, but I’m noticing a huge imbalance at my school. The G/T kids get smaller class sizes, special field trips, enrichment projects, experienced teachers, and even better access to technology. Meanwhile, my general ed students—many of whom are just as curious and capable—get the bare minimum. I’ve seen students who weren’t labeled G/T start to believe they’re “less than,” and it breaks my heart. I don’t want to resent my colleagues in the G/T program, but the inequity is glaring. How do I advocate for my students without sounding bitter or dismissive of G/T kids?
—Left Out of the Talent Show
Dear L.O.O.T.T.S.,
Your frustration is totally valid, and the inequity is real. (Personally, I think we are long overdue for a better term than “gifted and talented” to label students with high IQs.) It hurts to watch your students go without while their peers across the hall seem to get every shiny thing, and it is unfair.
That said, do keep in mind that, depending where you live, it may be a state or local mandate for G/T students to receive specialized education services. I’m not saying that G/T students deserve better, but meeting their needs is not necessarily a matter of just giving them more work or harder work.
Here are some things to keep in mind with your advocacy:
Frame it as an access issue. Instead of “Why do they get everything?” go with “How can we offer enrichment to all students who show curiosity or advanced skills?” This shifts the conversation from competition to opportunity.
Bring receipts. Got data or stories about students craving more challenge? Share them. Give your administrators a chance to respond to real kids’ needs more than abstract complaints.
Pitch scalable solutions. Things like rotating enrichment blocks, a shared resource library for projects, or a school-wide enrichment opportunity are options.
Remember: Your worth as a teacher—and your students’ worth as learners—isn’t tied to a label. You’re building curiosity and brilliance every day, with or without a painfully outdated acronym.
Dear We Are Teachers,
I’m in my 15th year teaching 3rd grade. Earlier this week, a student noticed that I don’t say the Pledge of Allegiance and asked why. All I said was it’s a personal choice, but that everyone can make the choice that’s best for them. The next day, the principal called me in to say some parents were concerned about my “unpatriotic” behavior in class and that he would appreciate me not turning my classroom into a political soapbox. I was appalled. I’ve been teaching for 15 years and have never once said the pledge. They can’t fire me for this, can they?
—Silent but Standing
Dear S.B.S.,
Short answer: No. Your principal can’t legally require you to say the Pledge of Allegiance. As of today, anyway.
The Supreme Court decided that way back in 1943 (West Virginia State Board of Education v. Barnette), and last I checked, that still stands. You’re allowed to abstain, period.
Here’s how to handle it:
Check in with your campus’ union rep. No reason—just because!
Stay calm and stay boring. “I choose not to recite the pledge, but I remain respectful.” Done. Don’t give them what they want: an emotionally charged, political reaction that they can hold against you.
Don’t say anything to kids about it. Your “everyone makes the choice that’s right for them” line was chef’s kiss. Stick with that.
Keep a paper trail. Jot down notes from your convo with the principal. Probably nothing will happen, but CYA is the teacher way.
If you do get fired, keep us posted. I’ll be interested to watch the Supreme Court try to support that one.
Dear We Are Teachers,
I just started teaching 2nd grade this year and have been sick on and off since school started. So far I’ve had COVID, the flu, and strep, all back-to-back! I still have a hacking cough, which I know my coworkers and students must think is so gross. Plus, I feel like my admin and families must be irritated that I’ve been out so much so early in the school year. Any secret teacher hacks to boost my immune system?
—Perma-Cough
Dear P.C.,
Welcome to teaching, aka Survivor: Bacteria Island. The first year is basically your immune system collecting the starter pack.
The best person to talk with about your immune system is your doctor. But here are some tips from real teachers to keep the germs at bay:
Sleep. “When I’m not prioritizing sleep, it’s only a matter of time before I feel that tickle in my throat.” —Catherine P., 1st grade teacher
Stay hydrated. “Water, electrolytes, tea with honey—down as much as you can. But Diet Coke doesn’t count. I checked.” —Emily H., 5th grade teacher
Consider an air purifier. “Turns out the mold in our building wasn’t helping my upper respiratory system! Wild, huh?” —Ashton F., high school teacher
Adjust some of your habits. “Don’t touch your face. Change out of your school clothes when you get home and leave your shoes by the door. Wash your hands and wipe down your desk, phone, etc., with antibacterial wipes once a day.” —Maria A., 5th grade teacher
Finally, don’t apologize for being human. If your admin or students’ parents are mad that you’re out when you’re sick, let them be mad. Something tells me they wouldn’t be thrilled about you being responsible for taking out their family for a whole weekend when you’re norovirus Patient Zero at your campus.
The good news? Every sniffle now is like downloading an immune system update. By year two, you’ll be practically invincible. (Almost.)
When I accepted my current teaching position, I was promised regular classroom support—an aide to help with behavior, interventionists for struggling students, and a mentor teacher for guidance. Months into the school year, none of that has materialized. Instead, I’m drowning in paperwork, managing behavior issues solo, and scrambling to meet impossible demands with zero backup. Every time I ask about the promised support, I get vague excuses about “staffing shortages” or “budget cuts.” I’m exhausted and feeling duped. How do I advocate for myself without putting a target on my back?
This year, I have my best friend’s child in my class. I love my friend and her kid dearly, but he is … a handful. He’s bright, funny, and energetic—but also disruptive, argumentative, and constantly pushing boundaries in my classroom. Normally I’d manage it like I do with any other student, but the fact that I’m close friends with his mom makes everything complicated. Do I tell her the truth when she casually asks, “How’s he doing in your class?” Or should I downplay it to avoid hurting her feelings? I don’t want to damage our friendship, but I also don’t want to compromise my professionalism. So far I’ve been staying pretty vague. How do I handle this without losing either my friend or my sanity?
—How Do I Say “Your Kid’s Bonkers, Claire”?
Dear H.D.I.S.Y.K.B.C.,
Oh, neat! The universe decided to test your friendship and your sanity, all in one semester!
First, let’s acknowledge the obvious: You’re in a tough spot. You care about your friend, her child, and your classroom. That’s a lot of caring, and probably why you’re feeling stuck between vague updates and full-blown honesty.
Here’s the thing: You’ve got to be honest with her. Sooner rather than later. Tell her what’s going on, but with kindness and context.
“You know I love Charlie. He brings fabulous energy to class every day and he’s a great kid. We are working on some classroom behaviors that are getting in the way of his learning, and I wanted to keep you in the loop just like I would with any other parent.”
If your friend is truly a good friend, she’ll appreciate your professionalism and your willingness to support her child—even when it’s not all sunshine and sticker rewards.
Dear We Are Teachers,
I’m at my wit’s end. I teach 8th grade English, and most of my students didn’t know what a complete sentence was when I asked the other day. Commas? Optional. Sentence structure? A mystery. They’re strong readers, but they’re missing so many grammar basics. What am I supposed to do when the pacing guide has them writing multi-paragraph essays, but they don’t even know what a topic sentence is? —Grammatically Grieving in Georgia
Dear G.G.I.G.,
*Steps on soapbox*
Grammar must be studied directly and in isolation before it can be studied in context. Thank you.
*Steps off soapbox*
This is the soapbox speech I would give to districts who still insist that all students can just magically learn grammar in context. It sounds like yours might fit in that category.
However, it doesn’t sound like your students are otherwise behind on literacy. The fact that they are strong readers is very encouraging. So in this case, I recommend bringing back an old-school staple: D.O.L., or Daily Oral Language. The D.O.L. is a classroom routine where students correct sentences that contain grammar, punctuation, capitalization, or usage errors.
One might look like this:
“the dog runned down oak street”
Students would be asked to identify and correct the errors:
“The dog ran down Oak Street.”
First, map out the skills your students still need to master. Then, write (or have a robot write) one sentence for each day that, over the course of the year, will rotate in all the grammar skills they still need to master. Think of it as building in grammar calisthenics—short, daily exercises to build up those grammar muscles (without derailing their main English class workout).
I have a student teacher this semester who is enthusiastic, friendly … and extremely chatty. She’ll strike up conversations with students during independent work time, linger too long in the hallway with colleagues, and eats up my conference time with her talking. I’ve redirected her multiple times and tried to encourage her to leave after the bell so I can get some work done, but she doesn’t seem to get the hint. I want to support her growth, but I also need her to read the room (and the clock). How do I rein in the chatter without crushing her spirit? —Trying To Teach, Not Yap
Dear T.T.T.N.Y.,
Even just reading this question makes me want to run through a glass wall. Not just because losing planning time is infuriating, but correcting someone who works closely with you is—there’s no way around it—awkward.
Let’s look at the bright side, though. You’ve got someone who’s eager, personable, and clearly wants to connect. That’s a solid foundation. But as you know, teaching isn’t just about being friendly—it’s about knowing when to zip it so students can think, work, and, you know, learn.
Here’s what I would do with this golden retriever/podcast host hybrid:
Set a formal check-in. The next time you are due to give feedback, be explicit that something she can work on is time management—specifically taking advantage of time in the day to get work done. Because honestly, if she’s talking this much, there’s work she’s not doing.
Set clear boundaries. Student teachers are still learning the invisible rules of teaching—like how “conference time” isn’t code for “let’s unpack our weekend.” Be direct about boundaries and model what professional time management looks like.
Play to her strengths. Channel that chattiness into something productive. Maybe she can lead a small-group discussion, facilitate a class debate, or host a club that meets before or after school (while you grade in the corner and supervise!).
Don’t be afraid to be honest. Help her see that connecting with others is absolutely a strength—when it’s used intentionally.
I’ve been teaching for nearly a decade, and lately, admin has been nudging me toward leadership roles—department chair, maybe even assistant principal down the line. I’m flattered but also skeptical. I’ve seen what leadership looks like at my school: nonstop meetings, no time with kids, and even less appreciation than teachers get. I care deeply about making things better, but I don’t want to leave the classroom just to drown in bureaucracy. Is it possible to lead and love your job too? Or am I just signing up for a different kind of burnout? —Ambitious but Apprehensive
Creating safe, inclusive classrooms feels more challenging in some places across the United States—but it’s far from impossible. Here’s how real teachers are ensuring that every student and family feels safe, seen, and welcome in 2025.
Teaching in 2025: The Challenges of a Divided Country
In a recent survey, teachers told us they’ve been requested or required to avoid discussion of LGBTQ+ subjects, lessons on slavery and women’s rights, and ICE raids at schools. These stories aren’t new, of course. For decades, administrators and legislators have placed restrictions on what teachers can say and do in their classrooms when it comes to diversity, equity, and inclusion topics. But the situation has gotten tougher in many areas over the last few years.
“My administrators have advised me to avoid discussions about politics, deportations, and LGBTQ+ issues,” one Colorado high school teacher told us. “I also have been instructed to steer students away from sharing their opinions on these issues. Similarly, I have been advised not to put up any posters in my classroom that might offend (conservative) parents who visit the school.”
Another high school teacher noted that their school has banned many books for language or content, often those featuring diverse characters. “So in the end, we teach almost no books that have Black characters because of fear of offending someone or fear of exposing actual social problems the Black community has faced.”
How To Create Inclusive, Welcoming Classrooms Despite Restrictions
Here’s the good news: Teachers across the country are still dedicated to making their students feel safe and welcome in their classrooms. They’re finding creative, thoughtful ways to comply with new restrictions while still ensuring everyone feels seen and represented. Here are their suggestions and ideas for creating your own inclusive classroom, no matter where you teach.
We Are Teachers
1. Change your wording, but keep the message.
This past spring, one Idaho teacher went viral for sharing her banned “Everyone Is Welcome Here” sign. In response, the State of Idaho doubled down, passing a law that specifically bans school signs that “represent a political, religious, or ideological viewpoint”—a broad category, to say the least.
While Idaho is the first to put this type of ban into law, plenty of teachers face opposition to their diverse and inclusive classroom decor. So, how are teachers dealing with bans like these? They’re choosing their words with care.
“I have been more creative with signs for displays,” says a Kansas teacher. “It might say ‘Stand Up for What Is Right’ rather than using words like ‘social justice.’ Or I might reference welcoming ‘newcomers’ rather than using the term ‘immigrant.’”
Krys E. teaches in Alaska and uses a lot of social-emotional learning materials that say things like “Be Strong” or “Be a Leader.” Wording like this avoids recommending specific actions but encourages students to make the choices that feel right for them.
2. Use images of your students and their families to decorate the classroom.
What better way to make everyone feel seen than by literally hanging them on your classroom walls? “I am having my students (a diverse group) draw and create decorations that represent them,” says a Texas preschool teacher. She plans to hang family photos with all types of diversity shown, plus self-portraits reflecting a variety of skin tones and individual differences.
Several teachers recommended hanging family photo walls in your classroom, so every student has a chance to be represented. Encourage families to share pics of themselves celebrating the holidays they love, eating or cooking their favorite foods, or participating in community events. Tip: If families aren’t comfortable sharing pictures, have kids draw their families instead.
3. Hang a culture wall.
Looking for a good back-to-school activity? Here’s what one Colorado high school teacher does to set the tone for a welcoming environment: “I have students create a culture wall to honor diversity in the classroom. They can make a poster about their own culture, or they can choose another culture that interests them. The posters usually include the country’s flag, national food, national animal, currency (money), famous figures, landmarks, etc.”
4. Reach out to and welcome all families.
The best way to make people feel safe and welcome? Tell them that they are, and demonstrate it every day in meaningful ways. A Texas preschool teacher explains that she works hard to welcome all families, inviting them to visit campus as often as possible. Here are a few more tips for creating inclusive and welcoming classrooms for all sorts of families:
Learn to pronounce all of your students’ and parents’ names properly, and use their correct titles and forms of address.
Use communication apps that can help translate and facilitate your interactions with families that don’t speak English well (or at all).
Offer a variety of different family events so everyone has a chance to participate. Vary the dates and times, offer foods everyone can eat, and accommodate cultural expectations that may be different from your own.
Katie H. for We Are Teachers
5. Encourage all students to explore new experiences and learn about their classmates.
The “Contact Hypothesis” states that when people from different backgrounds interact in meaningful ways, prejudice and stereotypes tend to decrease. Research backs this up: Direct contact with people who are different from ourselves has a stronger effect on tolerance than just learning about differences in a vacuum.
Katie H. teaches preschool in Texas, where she makes welcoming differences a part of her curriculum. “At the beginning of the year, we have intentional conversations about how our homemade foods (or cafeteria food) might look/smell different and how wonderful that can be.”
Michigan teacher Paulette Pepin recommends “allowing students to share their special gifts and teach classmates” about their personal experiences. Encourage students to show respectful interest in other’s foods, traditions, or cultures, and invite families to share a variety of learning and cultural experiences together throughout the school year.
6. Choose books that demonstrate inclusivity and diversity without directly addressing specific topics.
“With the Texas Legislature’s new ‘Parents’ Bill of Rights,’ our admin encouraged us to only use books that are currently in the district library,” a Texas pre-K teacher notes. Fortunately, children’s literature has greatly increased diversity and representation in recent years.
While there are indeed a lot of books that address topics some consider controversial, there are also many others that simply make diversity a matter-of-fact part of the story without drawing attention to it. It’s easy to find books that show a wide variety of skin tones, family types, and other inclusive characters like those in a wheelchair or with hearing aids.
Tip: Review sites like Kirkus often include information about diverse representation (or lack thereof) in books. For instance, in a review of a new book about finger counting games for kids, Kirkus includes this helpful note: “Woodcock’s illustrations employ crayoned linework and painted and spattered color to portray busy children with varied skin tones, hair textures, and abilities.”
Be sure to include books written and illustrated by diverse creators, too, no matter what the topic. Just seeing author/illustrator pictures or names that represent their own cultures can make a big difference for kids.
7. Use toys, games, and videos that show diverse people as a matter of course.
Katie H. makes an effort to be sure all kids see themselves represented through toys in her Texas preschool classroom. “We include multicultural and diverse-ability toys in our dollhouse and kitchen center, and include discussions on how families can be composed differently.”
Katie H. for We Are Teachers
In younger classrooms, ensure your dolls and figurines include multiple skin tones, hairstyles, and physical differences (the ones shown here come from Lakeshore Learning). When choosing videos to share with classes of any age, look for those that incorporate people or characters from many cultures, countries, or backgrounds. As with books, just seeing themselves represented onscreen can be a powerful tool for making kids feel included.
8. Emphasize kindness.
In every situation, teaching students to be kind to one another is always appropriate. Demonstrate and model empathy, and take time to recognize kind behavior whenever you see it. Show students that even when you don’t agree, you can still be kind and respectful to one another.
Many lessons about kindness automatically encourage tolerance and respect for diversity without drawing specific attention to it. Erika O., a 4th grade teacher in Texas, recommends checking out Steve Hartman’s Kindness 101 videos. For older students, explore TED Talks on kindness or empathy to spark conversations.
9. Don’t sweat the small stuff.
Every teacher knows that no matter how hard you try to create inclusive classrooms, you’re always going to run into problems that seem petty to you but urgent to others. In these cases, it can sometimes be best to bite your tongue, go along with the potentially frustrating request, and find other ways to accomplish the same goal.
For instance, one Massachusetts PE teacher was told she couldn’t use the word “yoga” with her students. “I just called it stretching, because it was all the same no matter what you call it,” she says. Her students still learned the valuable mind-body exercises, and in the end, that was what mattered.
10. Speak up and speak out when and where you can.
If you’re lucky enough to have the freedom to teach and talk about diverse and inclusive topics in your classroom, don’t let the opportunity pass!
“I teach in a school where I, as a white person, am in the ethnic minority and our curriculum is intentional about using diverse authors and mindsets,” explains Liz M., a Massachusetts teacher. “I created stickers that go on frequently banned books [in our library] as a way of encouraging students to read diverse stories that other schools are trying to hide.”
We Are Teachers
When you’re faced with challenges to diversity, equity, and inclusion in your own classroom, you’ll ultimately need to follow your own heart. “I make sure we have a Pride Club every year despite being the only middle school in the area with one,” says Sasha T., a middle school teacher and school Pride Advisor in Washington who has been pressured not to hang signs or distribute flyers. “I make sure I use correct pronouns, names, and make sure all students are heard and respected in my classroom.”
Illinois elementary teacher Amanda A. shares, “I had a parent very, very upset that I informed their child that colors are for everyone, and anyone can like pink, purple, blue, etc.” Her response? “I continue, with the protection of my tenure and my union.”
Resources for Creating a Welcoming, Inclusive Classroom in 2025
Ultimately, every teacher has to make their own choices about how important diversity, equity, and inclusion are in their classrooms. If you’re feeling overwhelmed or discouraged in the face of new legislation or local administrative rulings, consider starting a conversation in the We Are Teachers HELPLINE group on Facebook. Other educators are always willing to help you process challenges and brainstorm constructive solutions.
Here are a few more resources to support a welcoming atmosphere for every one of your students and their families:
I’ve been teaching for nearly a decade, and lately, admin has been nudging me toward leadership roles—department chair, maybe even assistant principal down the line. I’m flattered but also skeptical. I’ve seen what leadership looks like at my school: nonstop meetings, no time with kids, and even less appreciation than teachers get. I care deeply about making things better, but I don’t want to leave the classroom just to drown in bureaucracy. Is it possible to lead and love your job too? Or am I just signing up for a different kind of burnout? —Ambitious but Apprehensive
Dear A.B.A., First of all, it makes total sense you’re hesitant. The view from the outside often looks like a constant cycle of emails, discipline referrals, and meetings about meetings. But here’s the thing: Good leadership matters—a lot. And the fact that you’re even weighing this decision carefully instead of chasing the title tells me you’d probably be thoughtful in the role.
Here’s what to consider:
Do you still love working directly with kids? If losing that day-to-day joy would crush your spirit, then admin might not be for you right now. Department chair roles often still let you stay in the classroom, so that might be a better first step.
Can you stomach tough conversations? Leaders have to deliver hard news, hold staff accountable, and make decisions that won’t make everyone happy. If that sounds like your personal nightmare, pause before leaping.
How successful have current admin been in shaping your school’s culture? This question certainly isn’t the be-all and end-all. But I think it’s best when you can go into leadership having learned from people you already want to emulate, not creating a culture from scratch.
Bottom line: Leadership doesn’t have to mean burnout. But it does mean a shift in what brings you joy. If that shift feels exciting instead of suffocating, maybe try dipping a toe in with a smaller leadership role first. If not, don’t feel bad about saying “Thanks, but I belong in the classroom.” Both paths are valid.
Dear We Are Teachers,
Every time I send students to the restroom, there’s a good chance they’ll come back smelling like a vape shop. We’ve had multiple talks, assemblies, even parent emails, but nothing seems to deter them. Admin says they’re “cracking down,” but I rarely see consequences. I feel helpless when the kids themselves admit they don’t take the rules seriously. How do I protect my classroom environment when the bathroom has basically turned into a smoke break station? —Choking on the Cloud
Dear C.O.T.C.,
Here’s the bad news: You’re right—historically, “Don’t do this bad thing that feels good” talks don’t work with teens. The good news is you do still have options.
Control what you can. Keep strong bathroom procedures—one kid out at a time, sign-out sheets, time limits. Maybe even consider recommending a school-wide digital tool like SmartPass (you can read about a school that used it to tackle their loitering problem here). It won’t stop vaping school-wide, but it can reduce opportunities during your class.
Loop in allies. School resource officers, counselors, or even custodial staff often see things admin doesn’t. Sometimes they can apply pressure where you can’t.
Keep documenting. Even if admin feels hands-off, every report builds a record that makes the problem harder to ignore with parents who might need this information shared with them.
And a reminder: It’s not your job to eradicate vaping from the entire school. That’s an institutional problem. Your responsibility is to advocate, protect your teaching environment, and keep kids as safe as you reasonably can.
I’m surprised your school hasn’t cracked down harder considering what a liability it is. Don’t let anyone make you feel like you’re failing because the bathrooms still smell like blueberry cheesecake or whatever the vape flavor of the week is.
Our district pushes new tech initiatives constantly: digital portfolios, adaptive software, online behavior tracking, parent communication apps, AI literacy and proficiency—you name it. On paper, it sounds great, but in reality, I’m juggling six platforms daily on top of my actual teaching. I spend more time troubleshooting logins than engaging with kids. I’m not anti-technology, but this feels like tech overload. How do I push back without sounding like a dinosaur? —Tech-Tired Teacher
Dear T.T.T., You are not a dinosaur. In fact, you sound like the exact opposite—you’re using tech constantly, and you’re burned out by it. That doesn’t make you resistant, it makes you realistic.
Here’s what you can do:
Pick your priorities. Identify which platforms truly support learning in your classroom and which are just “nice-to-haves.” Focus your energy where it matters most.
Document the time sink. Track how much instructional time is lost to logins, glitches, and troubleshooting. Numbers can be powerful when pushing back to admin.
Ask the right questions. Instead of “Why do we have so much tech?”, try “What’s our actual goal with this tech?” Instead of “Who came up with these requirements?”, try “Can we check the research on how digital note-taking inhibits cognitive processing?”
You want to know what I’d do? Use just enough technology so that my students understand it (and my admin thinks I’m using it), but then pencil-and-paper my heart out most of the time in class. When the rules are dumb and don’t work for your students? Malicious compliance, baby.
Remember: You’re not against technology. You’re against wasted time and practices that aren’t supported by research. That’s not old-fashioned—it’s exactly what good teaching should prioritize.
During a group discussion, one of my students made a blatantly racist remark. I immediately addressed it, redirected the conversation, and followed up with admin. Their response? “We’ll keep an eye on it.” That’s it. No call home, no follow-up with the student. I feel like I’m the only adult treating this as a serious issue—and it’s not the first time. I don’t want to stay silent, but I also don’t want to burn bridges. What do I do when the system shrugs and keeps moving?
During a group discussion, one of my students made a blatantly racist remark. I immediately addressed it, redirected the conversation, and followed up with admin. Their response? “We’ll keep an eye on it.” That’s it. No call home, no follow-up with the student. I feel like I’m the only adult treating this as a serious issue—and it’s not the first time. I don’t want to stay silent, but I also don’t want to burn bridges. What do I do when the system shrugs and keeps moving?
—Walking the Tightrope
Dear W.T.T.,
First, thank you for stepping in when your student made a racist comment. Too many teachers freeze up in moments like that, and your students needed you to model a clear response. You did the right thing.
Now, what do you do when the system lies down on the job?
You lay into the system.
Document, document, document. Write down exactly what was said, what you did, and how admin responded. Keep this for yourself, but also email it to admin so there is a (digital) paper trail. This is also the time to check in with your school’s union rep for a situation like this.
Loop in families. If the remark targeted a particular student, a check-in with that family is crucial. A simple “I wanted you to be aware this happened … here’s how I responded” shows care and can get the ball rolling if the family wants to take action.
Find allies. There are other people at your school who care—you just need to find them. And if you can’t find them at your school, find them at the ACLU.
Will speaking up and pushing back on this land you in hot water? I won’t sugarcoat it: Yes, it probably will. But we are living in a time when we desperately need brave, kind people to keep doing what’s right. Please be brave. Everyone deserves to feel safe at school.
Dear We Are Teachers,
I’m a first-year middle school teacher and (lucky me) I’ve been assigned afternoon bus/car pickup duty. I assumed I was supposed to stay until my contract time ended at 4:30, but last week as I was leaving, my AP told me I should never leave if students are still waiting for a ride. This week alone, I’ve been stuck anywhere from 20 minutes to an hour and a half after school! Is this actually the norm, or am I being taken for a ride?
—Stuck at the Curb
Dear S.A.T.C.,
No, no! Oh, honey. Something got lost in translation. Staying until the last child is picked up is a job that belongs to one person: your AP, principal, or—and I mean this in the nicest way possible—someone who gets paid a lot more than you do.
To be clear, this is a gap in student safety that your school needs to address. If you’re absent one day, it sounds like quite a few students will be left unattended on campus.
I would follow up via email and cc your principal. Say something like, “Hi Ms. Carter, I just wanted to follow up on our conversation the other day about pickup duty. To make sure I understand, am I OK to leave at my contract time, or should I stay until the last student is picked up? I’ve been staying with students for the last week so they’re not alone, but parents are often significantly late.”
Is it a little pass-agg to do it this way? Sure. But 1. It leaves room for you to be wrong. Maybe your AP will jump in and clarify that you misunderstood her expectations. 2. If your AP was trying to offload one of her responsibilities onto you (one related to student safety), your principal needs to know about it. 3. If your AP and principal both say, “Yep! You’ll be expected to work way past your contract hours unpaid,” you’ll now have documentation to run past your union rep.
You signed up to teach, not to run an after-hours taxi stand. Reclaim your time!
Dear We Are Teachers,
I’m three weeks into teaching 9th grade biology, and when I went to enter grades this week, I realized I already have 42 missing assignments. The kicker? These were assignments we did in class! How can something students physically did in front of me still end up “missing” in the grade book? And more importantly, what do I do about it?
—Baffled in Bio
Dear B.I.B.,
This is very strange. By 9th grade, students know to turn things in during class. I’ve never heard of this happening before!
Hahahaha. Just kidding. This is standard (unfortunately).
Here’s the thing: They’re checking to see whether you’ll notice. And you need to show them now that you both notice and that they can’t get away with it.
The most important thing is to audit your process. Walk through what “turning in” looks like in your room. Is there a bin? A check-in? A digital confirmation? Make sure the turn-in process is so clearly communicated (i.e., written on the board or on display somewhere), there’s no getting it wrong. Tightening this up now will save you all year.
Create a routine. Even 9th graders need systems and repetition. Take a day to practice “the turn-in routine” like you would practice lab safety.
Then, the next few times you have an in-class assignment, check students off on a roster as they turn in the work to you. That way, with 15, 10, and 5 minutes left in class, you can remind students whose work you still need. (Note: Make sure to note anyone with extra time in an IEP on your roster so they don’t panic.)
If after this you still have students not turning in work, communicate with families, preferably via email so you have documentation.
Don’t panic—your system just needs a tune-up. By November, you’ll look back at this and (probably) laugh.
I teach high school English, and I can feel how heavy the energy is this year. My students are anxious, withdrawn, irritable—some have opened up about serious mental health struggles. I do my best to be supportive, but I’m not a counselor, and I don’t want to say the wrong thing. At the same time, I can’t ignore it. I can’t teach when half the room is emotionally checked out. How do I show up for them in a real way without burning out myself—or crossing lines I shouldn’t?
I teach high school English, and I can feel how heavy the energy is this year. My students are anxious, withdrawn, irritable—some have opened up about serious mental health struggles. I do my best to be supportive, but I’m not a counselor, and I don’t want to say the wrong thing. At the same time, I can’t ignore it. I can’t teach when half the room is emotionally checked out. How do I show up for them in a real way without burning out myself—or crossing lines I shouldn’t?
—SEL’s Not Cutting It
Dear S.E.L.N.C.I.,
First: I’m so glad you’re not trying to take on the role of a counselor. Too many schools do everything but ask teachers formally. You shouldn’t be expected to fill that role, and it’s not safe for you or your students if you try. But what you are is a trusted adult in their lives, and that counts for more than you may realize.
I think the most important thing is to know your referral path. Find out exactly what your school’s process is for connecting students to counselors, social workers, or outside resources. If you’re unsure, ask your counselor directly.
You can also build in micro-moments of helping students care for themselves. We’re not overhauling class into a therapy session, here. Sometimes it’s as small as starting with a two-minute free-write (we have a fabulous mindfulness journal here), trying some new breathing exercises, or stopping for a fun brain break when the room feels tense.
And finally—protect your own bandwidth. You can’t pour from an empty coffee mug (yours is probably already chipped and full of cold coffee you poured hours ago). Show up with compassion, but remember: being a stable, consistent presence for your students is already a gift. That’s enough.
Dear Advice Team,
My school technically has A/C, but thanks to the “energy-saving schedule” (and maybe the unlucky location of my classroom), it barely feels like it. They run the air just before students arrive and shut it off 45 minutes before dismissal. That might work for kids who leave at the bell, but for teachers who come early or stay late, it’s like working in a sauna. By third period, I’ve sweat through my shirt, and after school I feel like I’m grading essays in a literal sauna. Do you have tips for surviving this heat, or is this a situation where I should get my admin involved?
—Overheated and Underappreciated
Dear O.A.U.,
Ah, yes. I’ve been in several schools like this. Reminds me of that Shakespeare line: O cruel thrift, that saves a penny yet slays the tutor’s comfort!
(Shakespeare didn’t say that, but doesn’t it sound like he could have?!)
This is one of those “choose your own adventure” situations. Depending on your comfort level, I’d recommend either employing some additional perks, pursuing systemic advocacy, or both.
Personal hacks
A small desk fan
Cooling necklace or personal cooling fan
Keep a backup shirt and mini deodorant on hand for wardrobe changes and touchups as needed
It may be worth checking in with a doctor to see if a hormonal imbalance may be making things worse. If you have certain health conditions, a doctor may write you a note excusing you from teaching in a furnace.
Bring it up to admin as, “My students are struggling to focus, and I worry it’s impacting instruction.” That’s hard to brush off.
If all else fails, find your loudest, most connected parent and apologize for the sweltering temperatures in Johnny’s classroom. Start a stopwatch for how quickly the situation gets addressed.
If you want to be very cheeky, you might have someone check the temperature at the admin building. Then, remind them of the old Shakespeare line: Doth not the board feel scorch’d, or is their office graced with sweeter winds?
(Just kidding again. I’m on a roll, though.)
Dear We Are Teachers,
I just started my second full week teaching at a large, successful public elementary school after spending years at a Waldorf school. The culture shock is real. The pace is so fast I feel like I have whiplash, I have next to no time to get to know my 3rd graders, and I’m noticing a lot more time with screens—Chromebooks, smartboards, digital assessments, you name it. I miss the slower, hands-on rhythm of my old school, and I’m worried about burning out before winter break. How do I adjust without losing what I loved about teaching before?
—Missing My Knitting Needles
Dear M.M.K.N.,
The beginning of the year feels like whiplash for every teacher—I can’t imagine the extra shock coming from working at a school with a totally different educational philosophy.
The bad news: it’s not going away overnight.
The good news: while you are in a new setting, you don’t have to throw the baby out with the bath water, so to speak. Look at it this way: you have an amazing opportunity to bring pieces of your old teaching style into your new classroom.
My top 3 recommendations:
Remember: the beginning of the year is particularly chaotic. Don’t look at what’s happening right now as the way it’ll always be. The ways you’ll adjust + the leveling off of back-to-school paperwork will meet in the middle somewhere.
Find ways to integrate. Instead of fighting technology as a whole, think about ways to blend them. For example, have students use digital tools (like audio recording apps or simple video editors) to create their own myths or fables—then share them aloud in a circle.
Build in tiny moments of slowness. Even in a fast-paced school, you can pause for reflection, ask open-ended questions, or do a class read-aloud for the last five minutes of class. Those little Waldorf touches matter.
Transitions are exhausting. It doesn’t mean you’re failing—it means you’re human. By winter break, you’ll have a rhythm (and maybe even a colleague who’s secretly also crocheting under the desk at staff meetings).
I’m a veteran teacher with solid classroom management skills—at least, I used to be. This year, my 5th graders are in a constant state of low-level disruption: side chats, blurting out, phone sneakiness, general restlessness. Nothing big enough to write a referral over, but enough to make every class feel like I’m just herding chaos. I’ve tried proximity, calling home, even redoing my seating chart twice. The worst part? I feel like I’m spending all my energy being “strict,” which isn’t me, and it’s exhausting. How do I manage without losing my mind or turning into the teacher I swore I’d never become?
One of my 8th grade students is intent on making every class a nightmare for me. He responds “Why?” to every single thing I say, from “Get out a sheet of paper” to “Push in your chairs.” He knows it gets under my skin and wastes class time, but it continues anyway. I’ve contacted home, and his mom said to me, “Sounds like you have a problem with my son for being curious.” I almost ripped my hair out. What do you do when a student isn’t breaking the rules but is being really freaking annoying?
—Done With the Defiance
Dear D.W.T.D.,
An 8th grader? No way. All the 8th graders I know have been compliant and delightful!
Hahahaha.
All jokes aside, I acknowledge that this can feel so defeating and frustrating. I don’t think you will like my suggestion, but hear me out: Even if this is the most annoying student in the world, you have to make this student believe that you like him.
Think about your own life for a second. Picture a boss, coach, teacher, or someone in a position of authority whom you’re confident didn’t like you. (Yuck.) Now, picture someone in a position of authority whom you know loved you, but who had to remind you of boundaries from time to time. You know you got on their nerves, but they always returned to a place of love.
Huge difference, right?
I say from experience that if you’re not careful, it’s easy to let a relationship with a tough student get to a point of mutual disdain or hostility. This happened years ago when I had a student teacher. My third period class was so challenging, and it got to the point where everyone in the room knew this was our least favorite class. So my student teacher and I conducted an experiment: Treat this class like our favorite class.
We bragged on them. We brought them candy. Instead of cracking down immediately on their antics, we gave them more wiggle room than normal and actually engaged with their jokes. In less than a week, we were stunned by the transformation. They were still our squirreliest class, but they were squirrels we loved instead of loathed.
I have no doubt that this child’s behavior is maddening. But you have to remember that you’re the adult here. You’re the one with a developed frontal cortex. You’re the one with the ability to offer a clean slate, find a private moment, and say, “Hey, I remember you saying you love The Office. Who’s your favorite character?” My guess? After a while of pretending to genuinely like this student, you won’t have to pretend anymore.
Dear We Are Teachers,
My 6th grade students’ behaviors are out of control this year. For example, I had a student tell another student he would pay someone to r*pe her if she didn’t bring him the chips she’d promised. Another student almost punched me in the face after I took a soccer ball he kept bouncing after repeated warnings. I’ve used every tool in my proverbial teacher “toolbox,” but at this point I’m exhausted and considering leaving the profession. My principal’s only solution is to give these challenging students ISS for a day or two, but when they return they’re behind and the behavior hasn’t improved. Do you have any suggestions?
—A Very Tired Teacher
Dear A.V.T.T.,
I see what you mean. On one hand, ISS is more than what I hear a lot of principals are willing to give kids who act out. But on the other hand, it’s not exactly restorative or corrective.
What I’m hearing are threats of violence and sexual violence against you and your students. (By the way, it doesn’t matter if that student was “joking” with the other student or not—intention doesn’t matter when another student has to deal with that level of emotional impact.) If I were the parent of the threatened child, I cannot tell you how fast I would file a Title 9 complaint.
I think a couple of things need to happen. The first: Talk with your principal about the need for your students to understand the specific and serious consequences for students if they threaten you or another student with physical and sexual violence. Maybe your principal wants to give this talk himself. Maybe he wants to bring in a counselor or SRO, I don’t know. But whatever the students are told, the same communication needs to go to parents as well. “If you/your child makes this choice, expect this this consequence.”
The second thing that needs to happen is better mental health resources for students at your school. I know all too well what a tall ask that is. But if you do have these resources and they’re not being utilized, they need to be. Check with a counselor or district counseling resource to see how to help your students learn better neural pathway responses than violence.
Finally, if after these measures, you still feel unsafe, I think you either switch schools or careers. No career is worth that level of exhaustion and stress.
Dear We Are Teachers,
I took a job this year in a new role my school created as a writing teacher. I teach every student in 11th and 12th grades at our school, and our time together is dedicated just to focus on writing. While I love my job, I am struggling so much with the grading! With 200 students and five writing assignments per week, I’m easily spending almost eight hours on the weekend trying to keep my head above water, and even then I rarely finish all of it. I love my job but this is too much. Help!
—Paper Princess
Dear P.P.,
Oh, I love being a fairy godmother! Are you ready for me to grant you your first wish?
Yay! Now that we have that guilt trip off your shoulders, here are some other shifts you can make in grading:
For recurring assignments, create a feedback checklist and give each comment a corresponding number. Instead of typing or writing out lengthy comments, you can write “1” or “9” in the margins wherever you see room for improvement.
For anything that’s not a test grade, have students go through detailed peer editing based on your rubric. This will cut down on what you have to grade and will sharpen students’ editing skills.
Remember: Writing assignments can be short! In many circumstances, a simple paragraph can be enough to assess mastery.
Hope these help make feedback faster and easier for you while still keeping it authentic and meaningful for your students.
I’m in my second year teaching high school and am on the verge of quitting. The dread I feel knowing that anytime I enter grades for an assignment, send out a newsletter, or make a new announcement on Google Classroom, I’m going to be met with at least five parent emails is debilitating. They want exceptions, explanations, additional help, and special assignments. I understand that this is part of my job, but with pushy parents on this scale, I can’t get anything done. Are there any kind of boundaries I can set, or should I just switch schools?
I’m in my second year teaching high school and am on the verge of quitting. The dread I feel knowing that anytime I enter grades for an assignment, send out a newsletter, or make a new announcement on Google Classroom, I’m going to be met with at least five parent emails is debilitating. They want exceptions, explanations, additional help, and special assignments. I understand that this is part of my job, but with pushy parents on this scale, I can’t get anything done. Are there any kind of boundaries I can set, or should I just switch schools?
—Back Off
Dear B.O.,
My first recommendation is, when possible and appropriate, ask for parents to give students an opportunity to advocate for themselves and have them ask you these questions. Let that be something you stress at the beginning of next year in your parent letter/syllabus.
My other big three recommendations center around these ideas:
Transparency goes a long way.
Pushy parents tend to be at their pushiest when they don’t quite understand what’s going on. A weekly newsletter (check out our free customizable templates here!) and shared calendar with important dates and updates can go a long way. See what you can do to make sure parents know enough to not feel totally lost.
Work smarter, not harder.
With pushy parents, it can feel tempting to go into robot servant mode to keep them happy. Spending hours crafting careful emails, bending over backwards for bonkers parent requests, saying yes before you’ve had a chance to even fully process their question.
But remember: You are here for their kids first. Save the bulk of your energy for teaching, providing feedback, and meeting their needs. Conserve the energy you normally expend on parents by keeping emails polite but short (anything longer than a couple of short paragraphs should be a meeting), set up form emails for common questions, and bookmark our suggested responses for tricky questions.
Think ahead.
Start restructuring your syllabus for next year now. Make a note of what kinds of questions you get most often and use those to create policies, systems, or information hubs that will cut down on work for you next year. See how teachers on your team keep parents at bay. Don’t wait until next summer to work on your syllabus—you’ll forget!
Dear We Are Teachers,
I’m a paraprofessional working on my teacher certification. I’m with a new teacher this year who is struggling but is super-resistant to feedback from me. She has trouble getting the class to quiet down, listen to her, or get any work done. When I’ve suggested strategies to her that I’ve seen work, she totally shuts down and tells me she’ll take advice from me when I have my certification. Should I go to my principal?
—Just Trying to Help!
Dear J.T.T.H.,
Oof! I feel for you both.
On one hand, it’s great when a para and classroom teacher can have a mutualistic relationship: learning from each other and making each other better without either having to sacrifice. However, on the other hand, both giving feedback and receiving it gracefully are VERY delicate processes: ones that have to be based on trust.
For now, I would work on building trust between you two and keep the feedback to yourself. It’s someone else’s job in an official capacity to evaluate her performance (her appraiser). If your professional relationship gets to a place where you feel like you can weigh in again, great! If not and things stay hostile, request a different classroom teacher for next year.
Dear We Are Teachers,
This is my first year teaching middle school. At the beginning of the year, I set up a care closet for my students with snacks, hygiene products, school supplies, and other products they or their family might need. I also provide a stocked pencil cup and fidgets drawer. But here’s the issue: Almost everything is gone in a matter of days—sometimes in a matter of hours. I want to keep providing these things, but I also want to make sure that the students who need them are getting them, not just the students who want them. Does that make sense? Am I a bad person?
—Caring Is Sharing … Right?
Dear C.I.S.R.,
First of all, you’re not a bad person. You’re a good person for wanting to connect your students with what they need! I would venture to guess that the strain is on your finances, not on the notion that the products are being used. Totally understandable.
I would encourage you to consider that the students who want them and the students who need them might be one and the same. BUT that doesn’t mean that you have to burn through your money meeting these needs.
Ask others to help stock your closet: your principal first, then crowdfund among family and friends. Create a schedule for when you restock the closet—let’s say once a month—and make sure your students know when the day is coming. Finally, rotate the class period where the care closet is first open to make sure your last period students aren’t always left in the dust.
I would, however, retire the free fidget dispensing. You can reserve those in your desk for your students with IEPs.
It’s my third week of teaching at a new school this year, but my 10th year overall teaching 8th grade. My new principal called me in last week and said several parents have complained that I’m “overstepping” my boundaries as a teacher by inserting my opinion on “nonacademic, nondisciplinary issues.” When I asked for examples, he brought up that I told a student we don’t use the word “gay” pejoratively and we don’t use the “R-word” at all. Another parent complained that I corrected a student who rolled his eyes when he found out he was in the same group as another student he didn’t like. I waited for my principal to confirm that he was on my side, but he never did! I don’t want to get on my new principal’s bad side, but I genuinely thought kindness was a part of my job. Should I get clarification from him?
It’s my third week of teaching at a new school this year, but my 10th year overall teaching 8th grade. My new principal called me in last week and said several parents have complained that I’m “overstepping” my boundaries as a teacher by inserting my opinion on “nonacademic, nondisciplinary issues.” When I asked for examples, he brought up that I told a student we don’t use the word “gay” pejoratively and we don’t use the “R-word” at all. Another parent complained that I corrected a student who rolled his eyes when he found out he was in the same group as another student he didn’t like. I waited for my principal to confirm that he was on my side, but he never did! I don’t want to get on my new principal’s bad side, but I genuinely thought kindness was a part of my job. Should I get clarification from him?
—Copping a Bad Rap
Dear C.A.B.R.,
Well. Your principal is certainly making a statement on where he stands on the value of social-emotional skills.
For me, this would be grounds to make this year my last at that school. I don’t think I could sit idly by while my students say hurtful things about each other or others. Plus, I wouldn’t expect a principal who cares that little about students’ emotional needs to care about mine either.
Whether you stay after this year is your decision. But in the meantime, I would ask for clarity on what kinds of classroom issues you should redirect vs. ignore. What should you do about cursing? What constitutes bullying? At what point should you intervene in incidents between students? It’s best if you can get this in writing.
If you really want to move the needle on this issue, get parents involved. The next time one of your students is negatively affected by this “free-range” behavior management style your principal is endorsing, contact the parents of the child and explain that you wanted to make them aware of an incident that happened in your classroom, but due to school policy, you were prohibited from intervening.
And when they justifiably say, “Excuse me? What?”, explain that you’re happy to connect them with your principal, who can explain this policy further.
Dear We Are Teachers,
I teach high school art and recently switched from a Title I school to a school in a very wealthy area. I loved my job at my old school, but I felt like the administration didn’t care about art—my supplies and needs, and I was constantly being dragged from the classroom for roles that weren’t at all my responsibility. At my new school, all my needs are met (I even have a kiln!). But here, the students are the ones who don’t care! They refuse to clean up after themselves (“That’s your job.”), they only turn in about half their work because they know art isn’t a weighted credit, and they regularly treat it as a study hall where they work on their more “important” classes. I don’t want my admin to think I can’t hack it, but I’ve genuinely never seen this level of apathy. What should I do?
—No Heart in Art
Dear N.H.I.A.,
I, too, have seen the different advantages and challenges of working in schools on opposite sides of the funding spectrum. And it’s definitely not as black-and-white as people want to think.
I would talk to your administration first. I don’t think it will sound like you’re complaining if you phrase it this way:
“First, I just want to say that I’m loving being a part of [school]. I wanted to get some clarity on your expectations for me as the art teacher here. Many of my students have told me that since art isn’t a weighted credit, they don’t need to do the work. Instead of my assignments, they often work on homework or assignments for another class. Now, if this is traditionally the way art class is run here and it’s OK for me to only have partial student participation, that’s fine. I just wanted to know what your expectations were, especially as it’s related to grading and my evaluations.”
Personally, if I were that principal, I would be horrified hearing that students under my leadership were so collectively gross to a new teacher. But one of two things will happen: 1) Your principal will interrupt you halfway through to clarify that students should absolutely not be treating your class that way and give you recommendations on how to proceed. Or 2) Your principal will say some equivalent of, “Yeah. That sounds about right. Can’t win them all, right?”
If it’s the second situation, don’t waste your energy hunting down assignments or demanding attention from your out-of-touch students. Send weekly mass emails to students who have missing assignments and mass-email (BCC, of course) parents to let them know students are failing every other week. Run your class based on the students who are interested, even if it’s just a handful per class. Give honest grades. And at the end of the year, evaluate whether this is still the school for you.
Dear We Are Teachers,
This is my third year teaching at an elementary school where one teacher clique in particular is very influential with administration. Every year, my school has a carnival in November as a fundraiser. It’s a lot of work, but it’s a fun tradition that kids and families love, and it brings in a lot of money. This year, the influential teacher clique floated the idea of using a popular (but, in many of our opinions, problematic) third-party fundraising company instead of doing the school carnival. In a Google Form, 91% of staff voted to keep the school carnival. But guess what our principal announced would be our fundraising source this year? 🙄 How do you fight back against a clique that the administration clearly favors?
—It’s Us vs. the Mean Girls
Dear I.U.V.T.M.G.,
Organize another Google Form after the event called “OK, Which of You Dummies Actually Enjoyed This Year’s Bonkers Fundraiser?” Or, I don’t know, workshop the title a little bit.
But really, I do think you as a faculty deserve a debrief. One that includes the total money brought in for the school (not including the cut the third party got) compared to the total brought in for each of the school carnivals over the last few years to compare. Plus, thoughts and reflections from the staff about how they felt coordinating the new fundraiser compared to the carnival.
But here’s the thing. The clique floated a new idea (which is not a crime). Admin went with it despite most of the faculty being against it (also not a crime). But what would be a crime is if the third-party fundraiser brought in less money and is going to permanently replace a beloved tradition. (Kidding. That would not be a crime either. But it would be really annoying.)
Personally, I don’t think this is a battle worth fighting. Let the carnival-deprived parents shoulder this one.
I’ve taught 7th grade at my current school for nine years. I knew that a coworker on my team was getting married and helped throw her a bridal shower at the end of school. She reiterated at the shower that they were keeping the wedding very small, so I assumed that’s why I didn’t get an invite. But I just saw on Instagram last week photos of the wedding at a huge venue, and pictures included our entire department plus an additional 10 to 15 teachers from our school. I’m so hurt. Should I ask her why I was the only one not invited to her wedding?
Let’s be real: There’s often an invisible wall between what teachers are really thinking and what they end up saying. They might smile and nod during staff meetings, or say, “No worries, I’ve got it!” when the truth is a little different. In this article, we’re pulling back the curtain. It’s not that teachers don’t appreciate their leaders (we love celebrating stellar principals!), but there are a few things they wish they could express without tiptoeing around delicate lines. So, even if it might feel a little awkward, here’s what your teachers are thinking but might be too hesitant to say. Trust us—it’ll make your school community even stronger.
1. Stop equating our jobs to yours (or complaining that yours is harder).
Listen, no one is saying that the job of a principal isn’t hard. You have way more (and way angrier!) parents to deal with than we do, and on game nights, your workday easily extends close to midnight.
But if you’re looking to inspire us, complaining ain’t it, chief.
2. Stop asking us to remember our “why.”
In the last decade, the motivational phrase “remember your why” swept through the nation’s schools with the intent of motivating burned-out teachers. But while the intent is good—reflect on the passion that brought you here—it often feels like a way to put the onus back on us when the system is so flawed.
We already know our “why.” What we really need is your support.
3. Actually, can we stop with the platitudes in general?
4. Please, please try to protect our planning periods.
When I first started teaching, I was shocked that my prep period rarely happened. An extra meeting comes up. There is a last-minute training. You are asked to cover for another teacher, and on and on. If there’s an emergency, of course we’ll jump in. But many teachers wish admin wouldn’t schedule meetings during what should be our one chance to reset and breathe. It’s sacred.
5. Start including us in the discussion before decisions are made.
There is nothing more frustrating than getting an abrupt change to the curriculum, policy, or schedule that was obviously made without teacher consideration.
We understand that there’s often not enough time for a roundtable before a rollout needs to happen—and some changes are mandatory and out of your control. But trust us—we know when you’re avoiding our expertise, feedback, and solutions.
6. Be present.
You won’t know what’s going on in classrooms or hallways if we never see you emerge from your office. Show up. Cover classes when we’re out of subs.
7. Show—don’t tell.
It’s really nice when principals thank teachers. But it’s incredibly difficult for teachers to hear “You’re the best” and “No one works harder than you” only after they’ve agreed to take on more.
Instead of telling us to protect our mental health, support us when we take time off instead of shaming us.
Instead of telling us you know how this new policy adds to our plate, pay for a sub (or provide coverage yourself) to give us each an extra 30 minutes to get the paperwork done.
Instead of telling us you have our backs, share how you advocated for us in your meeting with the superintendent.
Principals, we need you. We know you’re under a lot of pressure from state and district expectations. We know parents are pulling you in all directions. Show us your vulnerability. Listen to us. Advocate for us. Where there’s mutual trust, there’s a working environment where we can all thrive.
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I took a job at a new school this year that I really like, apart from one thing: My principal keeps remarking on me leaving at my contract time! If I pass him on my way out, he’ll say, “You’re in a hurry!” or “Somewhere you need to be?” When I finally clarified with him that my contract day ends at 3, he said, “Oh, yes, that’s true, but most of our teachers just stay until 5:00 or later.” My eyes practically fell out of my head. I thought we had all agreed to just work our contract hours in 2024? Now I feel so sneaky leaving at 3. Help!
—Don’t You Know That You’re Toxic?
Dear D.Y.K.T.Y.T.,
First of all, as a fellow millennial, thank you for the B. Spears reference. 🐍
This is very irritating and would cause me great angst as a fellow rule-follower.
I could understand if you were skipping out on afternoon duty, meetings, or other things that tend to pop up under our “Other Duties as Assigned” catch-all. But on a normal day, you should be totally free to leave at your contract time—no questions asked!
Eventually, your principal will either drop the snide remarks and figure out that, unbelievably, you can still do your job well without doing unpaid labor. But if you don’t want to wait until he stops, you can say, “I give someone in my neighborhood a ride home every day and have to leave at my contract time to pick her up.”
Does he need to know that the person in your neighborhood is you? No, he does not.
Dear We Are Teachers,
It’s my fourth year teaching 5th grade math at our school. I realized early on that any students I got who had Ms. A or Mr. B for 4th grade math were well prepared for my class. But any students who had Mr. C? Huge gaps in knowledge. Like, entire units missing. For the last three years, I’ve had to meet with Mr. C’s former students in small groups through December to fill those gaps.
I asked my team this past May about Mr. C and they said they noticed the same thing about his students. They said they’ve talked to him before but with no improvement. Now, they seem resigned to this reality of providing extra tutoring for his students every year!
I refuse to accept this. My question is, do I go to Mr. C first, even though my team has already talked to him? Or do I go to my principal at this point?
—“C” Your Way Out, Sir
Dear C.Y.W.O.S.,
Yeah. You’ve still got to talk to Mr. C first.
Here’s what you do.
Gather data.
Give your students a diagnostic test with some of the topics they were supposed to have learned in 4th grade, then filter those results by each teacher’s students. “Normal” results after a summer off would mean hits and misses here and there, especially with tougher concepts. But when only one teacher’s students are missing questions concentrated around certain concepts, you’re right—those concepts weren’t taught to mastery.
Talk to Mr. C.
Say this: “Hey, I gave a diagnostic recently and wanted to show you the results. Do you have a few minutes?”
Then, listen nonjudgmentally. Maybe he’ll admit that he really struggles with teaching those concepts, and you’ll have an opportunity to step in and offer support. Alternatively, he may get defensive and say there’s nothing wrong with his teaching. Or maybe he’ll offer a perspective you haven’t considered, like the fact that you and the other teacher have the Pre-AP classes. I don’t know. But be ready to respond with kindness and empathy, offering whatever support he needs.
If he’s willing to try harder, awesome. Let him prove himself. If he’s not willing to change, go to your department chair first (if you have one), then your AP. You’ll already have the data you need.
Dear We Are Teachers,
It’s my first year teaching high school and I’m loving it! There’s one hitch: I have a crew of about 10 students who eat lunch in my room now, and I never get anything done. I’ve tried noise-cancelling headphones, I’ve tried telling them to pretend I’m not there (in other words, don’t talk to me!), but they persist in being super distracting. I feel bad because they are great kids and I know they feel a sense of community in my room. But I NEED my alone time. How do I cancel group lunch without hurting their feelings?
—Tired of Being the Lunch Lady
Dear T.O.B.T.L.L.,
Let me first say that there is nothing wrong with needing (desperately) that little 20-minute block in the middle of your day to recharge in silence.
I could be wrong, but I sense some competing feelings within you. In light of this, I will divide my recommendations into two categories:
If you truly don’t want to host student lunch anymore, ever:
Just tell them. Say, “Listen, I love you guys and our lunches together. But as a teacher, I need this time not only to recharge, but to get things done—and there’s some things I can only do without students here. Sometimes I need to make parent phone calls, or leave you unattended to make copies or go to meetings. I could get in big trouble if I do that while students are eating lunch in here. I know you’re disappointed, and it’s a tough decision for me too. But I hope you understand.”
If you want to host student lunch but, like, cut way back:
If you’re afraid that a total cut feels too drastic, set boundaries!
Host students once a week (or once a month) instead.
Build a rotating schedule with other teachers who are willing to host.
I moved to Florida from New England this year and, at an off-campus job fair, accepted a position with what seemed like a great middle school. But from the first day the school was open this summer for teachers to work in the building, I realized this school is infested with cockroaches. Dead ones in the hall, live ones scurrying out of boxes, roach poop all over surfaces. Not the baby German roaches but the big tree roaches. I’m OK with most bugs, but these are terrifying to me! I asked my principal what could be done, and he said apart from the quarterly exterminator visit, his hands are tied. I don’t want to make waves at my new school, but this seems like a health hazard!
This will be my fifth year teaching middle school. After five very rough and stressful years, I’m trying to create a better work-life balance. Knowing that I tend to melt down around mid-October, I decided to schedule a trip to Mexico for me and my husband and asked for three days (a Wednesday through Friday) off work. When I asked permission from my principal to use my personal days, she said yes, but warned to not let parents or students know that I was going on vacation and to not post pictures on social media. When I asked why, she said, “Some parents don’t think teachers should take vacations mid-year.” Do you think she was trying to discourage me? Is it OK to plan a mid-semester vacation? I’m so annoyed!
—Un Poco Desanimada
Dear U.P.D.,
Short answer: TAKE THAT VACATION. Do not look back, feel bad, or come back without a fabulous tan and your hair braided. (Actually, maybe use your best judgment with that last one.)
Longer answer: I don’t actually think your principal is trying to discourage you. I think she was trying to look out for you.
In my experience, most parents are kind, empathetic, and reasonable. Still, there are always going to be a handful of parents who view teachers as robots programmed to serve them. They might find out that their child will have a sub for three days (gasp!) and say nasty, thin-minded things in their group chats with other parents like, “What, a summer off wasn’t enough for her?” (Don’t get me started on summers “off.”)
I agree with your principal in theory. The safest move would be not sharing with your students that you were on vacation as well as not posting pictures on any platforms where parents follow you.
But the reality is that you’re taking off a Wednesday through Friday. It’s not like you’re taking two weeks off just before standardized testing. Even if a mean parent does find out, what are they going to do? Complain that you’re resting? That you’re using the personal days you earned?
Go have fun, baby girl. (Or baby boy. I’m just going off the feminine desanimada.)
Dear We Are Teachers,
This is my first year teaching 5th grade. In theory, I know how to manage a classroom. But reality is proving much different. My students are so sweet, but they’re very chatty and struggle with transitions.
As I’m learning to improve my classroom management, do you have any tips that aren’t just going back to the fundamentals (e.g., contacting parents, redirecting disruptive behavior, making your expectations clear)?
—S.O.S.
Dear S.O.S.,
I know what you mean. You’ve got the book smarts down—but while you’re learning your street smarts, you’re looking for some things to give you a boost.
I think what you need are some hacks for your toolbox.
The great thing about hacks and one-off strategies are that they’re quick to implement and are super low-risk if they don’t work out. Here are some of our favorites:
We don’t have a custodial staff at our elementary school this year. (Our principal says it’s because “no one applied for the job,” but we know it’s because they cut the custodial salary by 35%).
I’m in a new role this year as the school counselor. When a student threw up in my office last week (long story), I alerted my supervisor, who said I had to clean it up. I did it, but that night when talking to my wife, she said that was a biohazard and I should refuse to do it in the future. What do you think?
—Ew
Dear E.,
I’m with your wife on this one.
But don’t wait for the opportunity to refuse. Before you do anything, talk to the union rep at your school. Unfortunately, if your school has trained you and given you the proper equipment to clean up vomit, you might be out of luck.
But if they give you the green light for a grievance, don’t jump on it immediately. Email your principal first and say this:
“I understand that we all have to pitch in when we don’t have a custodial staff. But after an incident in my office last week, I don’t feel safe or comfortable cleaning up bodily fluids in the future. Plus, per OSHA standard CFR 29 1910.1030, ‘personnel associated with the biological clean up must be trained, immunized and properly equipped to do so.’”
Principals typically don’t want to mess with OSHA.
My principal explained during in-service that we have a new policy for teachers to follow when they’re absent, and it is garbage. First, we have to email our principal and team (that’s normal). Then, we have to log in to our sub system and create an absence (also normal). Then, we are expected to PERSONALLY CONTACT substitutes BY PHONE until we find one who can confirm that they will take the substitute job. When someone in the meeting asked, “What if we can’t find anyone to take it?” my principal said, “Keep calling until you find someone.” I’m not afraid of telling my principal what I think, but I wondered if you could coach me on an approach.
When I introduce myself as a middle school teacher, people say all kinds of thing in response.
“I could never do that.”
“Bless you.”
“What is wrong with you?”
What I don’t think they realize, though, is that teaching middle school is actually incredibly easy. Sure, I had to get to get a degree, a certificate, and pass a few exams. But something very few middle school teachers talk about is how breezy, seamless, and downright tame our days are.
In fact, anyone can do it! Let me show you:
How to Teach Middle School in 54 Easy Steps*
1. Write a lesson plan.
2. Gather materials.
3. Write your agenda on the board.
4. Stand at the door to greet students in the hallway.
5. Run back inside because you hear a student screaming.
6. Trap cockroach under plastic cup and put a book on it. Make mental note to figure out what to do about cockroach later.
7. Go back in hallway to greet students.
8. Tell student to stop running.
9. Run down hallway unironically to catch up to and admonish running student.
10. Walk back to classroom with hands on head, inhaling deeply.
11. Go inside classroom when bell rings.
12. Begin to talk to class about today’s plan.
13. Stop mid-sentence to write down the names of two tardy students who walk in the door on a Post-It note.
14. Ask reliable student what you were talking about before you lost your train of thought.
15. Continue with your debrief and move on to warm-up.
16. While students are doing warm-up, log in to online attendance to mark students tardy, lest you receive an aggressive email with a red exclamation mark.
17. Attempt to find the Post-It note among the 1,205,281 Post-Its currently on your desk.
18. Go over the warm-up with students.
19. Tell student “DON’T TAKE THAT BOOK OFF THAT CUP.”
20. Begin modeling new concept under document camera projected on the board.
21. Field student questions and comments, including, “Why don’t you ever paint your nails?” and “You’re going too fast!” and “Who farted?”
22. Have students try sample problems independently.
23. While students are working, glance at inbox and see several red exclamation point emails.
24. Cry a little inside.
25. Say, “Cell phones should be off and in backpacks.”
26.. Go over answers.
27. Realize that 11 of your 35 students aren’t showing mastery and have them move to the front to work on some other problems with you.
28. Assign independent work to remaining students.
29. Say “Cell phones should be off and in backpacks.”
30. Alternate between teaching your small group, answering questions from big group, and reminding big group to be working quietly 8,391 times.
31. Send student to bathroom because you’re out of Kleenex.
32. Tell student to use Scotch tape because you’re out of Band-Aids.
33. Answer the phone and tell clerk you’re so sorry, you’ll take attendance right now.
34. Look up and see two students having light saber wars with stacked markers, one student texting, and another student crying.
35. In one fluid motion, confiscate marker sabers and student’s phone.
36. Gently tell student who is crying to join you in the hall.
37. Listen and console as crying student tells you about break-up.
38. Give student a hug and send to bathroom.
39. Go back inside.
40. Say, “Cell phones should be off and in backpacks.”
41. Give students reminder of time left to work independently.
42. Yell “WE DO NOT PANIC IN FRONT OF THE FIRE CHIEF” when students scream as fire drill alarm goes off.
43. While taking students outside, remind them to be silent 8 bazillion times.
44. Wait for all-clear announcement to come back inside.
45. Say, “Cell phones should be off and in backpacks” to your class full of students who walk in on their phones from the fire drill.
46. Send student who stood directly in anthill during fire drill to nurse.
47. Tell students to finish independent work.
48. Assign homework.
49. Literally run to your computer to take attendance before you get another email about it.
50. Actually take attendance this time.
51. When bell sounds, dismiss students, tell them you love them, and encourage them to make good choices.
52. Repeat most of steps 7-51 an additional 6 times for the rest of your classes.
53. On your way out, accidentally kick over the roach cup.
54. Spend the next 8 hours thinking there is a roach on you somewhere.
See? Child’s play.
No idea why there’s a teacher shortage.
*An autobiographical account, clearly
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A teacher friend of mine at another school in our district got in trouble for posting her Amazon wish list for school on Facebook. Her principal said that any crowdfunding needs to be processed by the district as fundraising, but the red tape to do that is so time-intensive and tedious. I was definitely banking on being able to make an Amazon wish list this year for friends and family, but I don’t want to get in trouble. Is there some kind of loophole?
—Nothing Without You
Dear N.W.Y.,
Why? Why in 2024 are we still demanding that teachers use their own money on school supplies? And when they find an option to get help acquiring these supplies, we attach MORE work and time onto it? I cannot.
My “professional” advice: Acquire the supplies by other means, but with spite in your heart.
My less professional advice: Keep those Amazon wish lists, baby. Use initials or a fake name. Share it with friends and family via your personal email. Submit them to celebrities asking for Amazon wish lists to fulfill. If you get “caught,” say it’s your cousin’s. No one will investigate you. And if they do, send them to me and I will ask why on earth they have this kind of time on their hands as an administrator.
Honestly. 🙄
Dear We Are Teachers,
I found out I will have a new 7th grade student transferred to my math class next week. This child is in general ed classes, but his IEP specifies a disturbing habit: masturbating in class. According to his IEP, when this happens, I’m supposed to remind him “[Name], hands on desk.” Then, if it continues, I’m supposed to ignore it (!) and speak to him about it after class.
I’m completely uncomfortable with this and am shocked that the teacher “intervention” was approved for an IEP. I’m not certified SpEd. What can I do?
—Outside My Pay Grade
Dear O.M.P.G.,
First, I am a huge supporter of inclusive education (it benefits everyone!). But this behavior is outside of distracting mannerisms that gen-ed students can learn to accept. This behavior asks that students (minors!) and teachers be exposed to—and tolerate—a sexual act in front of them. That’s a violation of their rights and yours.
(I’m also concerned about this student’s rights. If he lacks the self-awareness or self-control to curb these behaviors, is exposure to MORE students really best?)
First, visit your union rep. Then, visit your Title IX coordinator and say explicitly that you feel this expectation is sexual harassment. If none of this works for some reason, wait for a student to complain to their parent that their classmate is masturbating in class. As I’ve said here a hundred times before, parents can get the ball rolling way faster than teachers can.
Dear We Are Teachers,
I love my co-teacher this year. But last week I noticed something that I wasn’t sure whether to bring up. I was in a meeting for most of class, and when I came back in, my co-teacher was braiding a student’s hair. I didn’t say anything about it, but the next day, the student was braiding her hair. Part of me feels uncomfortable with this (mostly because we teach elementary and there’s always lice!), but I also don’t know if saying something would be considered policing a cultural norm for them. What do you think?
—Am I the Hair Narc?
Dear A.I.T.H.N.,
This one is tricky. I’m confident that 99.9% of teachers who do students’ hair are doing so completely innocently as a way to bond. Unfortunately, because of the other 0.1%, physical boundaries between teachers and students are really, really important.
I would say this: “Hey! I wanted to chat with you about something. I trust you and know you have no ill intentions in doing our students’ hair or in having them do your hair. But I would hate for a visitor or parent to pop in and complain, or make it into something it’s not. I just feel really protective of you.”
Hopefully your co-teacher will appreciate you looking out for her and respond to your perspective. But if she pushes back, encourage her to check with an administrator. And who knows? Maybe administrators are fine with it—but that way you’ll know.
I finished my 12th year of teaching in June and don’t think I can do another school year. Even at the beginning of the summer I felt dread about going back, but now that has turned into full-on terror. However, I’ve already signed my contract and I know this decision would mean my principal would have to scramble to fill my highly specialized position (I teach AP French 3 and 4 and all levels of Dance). I’m worried quitting would jeopardize the reference I would get from her AND would ruin the plans of students who expected to take these classes in the fall if my school can’t find a replacement in time. What would you recommend?
Self-regulation is a struggle for everyone lately. All the distractions we face each day make finding time to reflect or focus feel almost impossible. And our students are no exception. Behaviors in our classrooms are getting worse, but we know that isn’t the only problem. What problems are we seeing our students struggle with the most?
Staying motivated
Focusing on what’s being taught
Keeping their materials organized
Making a plan to get work done
Seeing plans through to completion
In other words, they don’t know how to self-regulate.
If we want to improve students’ behavior, focus, and ability to complete tasks, we need to begin explicitly teaching our students self-regulation skills. We Have Choices is a free, research-based program that helps 4th and 5th grade teachers do just that. And the results teachers are reporting are pretty encouraging.
Say hello to We Have Choices
We Have Choices, an innovative 4th and 5th grade program, is the focus of a study about teaching students self-management skills by giving teachers the following resources:
A 9-week curriculum of quick, fun lessons to fit into your weekly schedule
Videos, posters, and daily student trackers that reinforce self-regulation concepts
Easy-to-follow instructions on how to teach the lessons
Tools to help you monitor your students’ improvement
Why this program is good for you and your students
The program focuses on teaching students critical classroom skills like following expectations, focusing on tasks, managing feelings, asking for help, and doing their best work. If you think your 4th or 5th grade students would benefit from practice on any of these skills, this program is for you.
Here’s why teachers have signed up their classrooms:
We Are Teachers
How the lessons fit into your daily routine
The We Have Choices curriculum can be done at any point during the week, making it totally flexible for your schedule. It was designed with a teacher’s busy schedule in mind, often taking no more than 30 to 60 minutes a week. Video lessons present an entertaining game show that demonstrates skills and engages students. And the My Daily Tracker student booklets support self-management routines that are easily incorporated into regular classroom activities.
Take a look at how these teachers made the lessons work with their schedules:
We Are Teachers
Why students love these lessons
We know a program works best if students enjoy and look forward to the lessons and activities. We Have Choices is successful because it really helps students see how their actions affect their emotions and behaviors. It teaches them the tools they need to follow instructions and learn during the school day. As students learn to see the patterns in their own behaviors, they see for themselves how powerful self-regulation can be. By learning to check in with themselves each day, they begin to take responsibility for the way they act and behave in class and in their own lives.
What do students who’ve been through the program like the most?
Sounds great, but does it really work?
It can be scary to try out a new program when your schedule is already chock-full as is, but we know what we’re currently doing just isn’t working. Student behavior is getting worse and more and more students struggle with basic skills like organization and time management. We Have Choices is looking for solutions to these problems. By taking the time to explicitly teach our students these skills, we’re going to get that time back (and more!) when they are able to self-regulate more effectively during class time. Participating in research helps create new knowledge that can change the way we teach and help students learn. And creating that knowledge takes a community.
Here’s what teachers who completed the program observed in their own classrooms:
Here’s how to get started
If this program sounds like something that you might want to try out in your classroom, fill out the We Have Choices Research Study Inquiry form. You’ll hear back from our partners at the We Have Choices program within a day or two.
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Meghan Mathis, M.Ed., Elementary and Special Education
I finished my 12th year of teaching in June and don’t think I can do another school year. Even at the beginning of the summer I felt dread about going back, but now that has turned into full-on terror. However, I’ve already signed my contract and I know this decision would mean my principal would have to scramble to fill my highly specialized position (I teach AP French 3 and 4 and all levels of Dance). I’m worried quitting would jeopardize the reference I would get from her AND would ruin the plans of students who expected to take these classes in the fall if my school can’t find a replacement in time. What would you recommend?
—Just (Can’t) Do It
Dear J.C.D.I.,
I totally understand your hesitation, and it’s very “teacher energy” to be thinking of your students and principal first. But the words “full-on terror” and “dread” sound to me like you’re not just bummed out that summer is ending, but may not be in a healthy place mentally.
But at the end of the day, you have to put yourself first. Your principal, school, and students will definitely adapt and find solutions. You, on the other hand, might not adapt if you ignore your health and safety. Remember, too, you’re nowhere near the first teacher to leave a principal hanging at the last minute. Spouses’ job changes, medical emergencies, and changes of heart happen all the time.
If you’re still stuck after weighing your options, a mental health professional can help you navigate this process and make the decision that’s right for you.
Dear We Are Teachers,
OK, long story short: A member of my team is a bully. Let’s call her Angela. I called our department chair in to watch one of our team meetings, where, sure enough, Angela was rude and demeaning toward me. Later that day, I was called to the principal’s office along with Angela. There, my principal—in front of both of us—listed out all the ways I’ve been reported as being “hard to work with” and asked me to apologize to Angela. Angela wasn’t reprimanded at all. I was floored and couldn’t speak or process anything, so I requested a follow-up meeting for next week with just my principal. What do I even say?
—WTH, Angela?
Dear W.T.H.A.,
Yikes! Sounds like there’s quite a few unhealthy workplace dynamics at play here.
First, talk to your department chair. How did she interpret your team meeting where Angela was behaving badly? And what did she tell your principal? That will help you lay the groundwork to figure out whether your department chair miscommunicated or your principal misinterpreted. Or if, to your department chair, you were just as (if not more) in the wrong. Be ready to accept any of those possibilities with humility and curiosity.
Here’s what I would want to know about: your principal listing out other, separate incidents where coworkers have said you’re difficult to work with. Again, approach them with a sense of curiosity rather than defensiveness. “I wanted to ask if you could tell me a bit more about these other complaints you mentioned. It’s important to me to be a team player who is easy to work with. Were these complaints from one person or multiple? Can you tell me what I could work on?”
Finally, I do think it’s unprofessional of your principal to reprimand you in front of Angela (or any other teacher). However, I don’t think that’s worth calling out or asking your principal to apologize. Right now, the biggest reparations need to happen between you, your department chair, and Angela.
Dear We Are Teachers,
My partner teacher and I always co-chair the spring musical together. However, this year I’ll be going on maternity leave starting in February—just after casting. Yesterday, my partner teacher ran in and told me she accidentally told my class that I would be out next semester because she figured I’d already told them. When they asked her, “Is Mrs. Evans pregnant?” she didn’t know what to say and they all started freaking out. Now the whole school knows. I’m extremely upset. Not only did I want to tell my students in my own way, but now parents will know way sooner than I wanted them to. Help me get over this!
—That Was Mine To Share
Dear T.W.M.T.S.,
I understand your frustration. Maybe you had envisioned a special way you would tell your classes, coworkers, parents, or all three. It should have been your news to share when you were ready.
But it seems like it was an honest mistake by your coworker. And it’s not like she blurted out, “Mrs. Evans is pregnant!”—she brought up a totally relevant logistical point and your students made the connection. In this case, assume best intent. Your coworker is probably horrified that she let the cat out of the bag so soon. I think the kindest thing would be to be honest about your feelings, but acknowledge you know that her intent wasn’t malicious.
It might not seem like it now, but I can almost guarantee you’ll be able to laugh about this later.
I accepted a job at an elementary school known for extremely entitled students (and parents). Some stories I’ve heard: They stopped doing a science fair because parents were hiring judges to “volunteer” and give their child a top score, teachers are regularly pressured by admin to change students’ grades, and the PTA has the power to basically fire any teacher they want. I’m intimidated, but I still want the job. What safeguards would you recommend to protect myself from student entitlement?
