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Tag: Relationships

  • Can a Sexless Marriage Be Saved?

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    “It feels like we’re just roommates.” As a sex therapist, that is one of the most common concerns I hear from couples. They’ll explain that their relationship started out with chemistry and sparks and a strong physical connection during the “honeymoon phase,” but then gradually, the fire faded and now they feel a million miles apart. They can’t remember the last time they kissed for longer than a quick peck or spent meaningful time enjoying each other’s bodies. Both partners not only feel lonely, but in a society with significant sexual expectations, they also feel embarrassed and ashamed to seek help.

    A sexless marriage is clinically defined as having sex fewer than 10 times per year, or less than once a month. While this definition captures the number of sexual experiences, it doesn’t capture the emotional pain this can cause a couple. Sexual intimacy can put a lot of money in the Emotional Bank Account, and without those deposits, couples can feel empty and alone.

    Side note: A sexless marriage is only a problem if it causes distress to one or both partners. If there is no distress, then there is no problem. About 20% of long-term couples (Laumann et al., 1992) are in a sexless marriage, so please know that you are not alone.

    A Sexless Marriage Isn’t a Foregone Conclusion

    A sexless marriage is an issue that can be a challenge to address, but it is rarely a final verdict. Typically, a lack of sex is a symptom of many other issues beyond the actual sexual experience. Poor overall communication, a lack of sexual communication, and an absence of emotional connection are the more common underlying causes of a sexless marriage that I see in my office. Other causes include sexual dysfunction, such as pain with sex, low sexual desire and sexual arousal, and erectile difficulties. Still, other causes can include sex not being enjoyable for one partner due to a sexual skill deficit, chronic health conditions, or an erotic template discrepancy (meaning, what you find sexually arousing is something other than what your partner can provide).

    A sexless marriage usually happens gradually over time through what’s called an Avoidant Dynamic, and this dynamic has a very damaging ripple effect. The avoidant dynamic starts like this: one partner, let’s call him Javier, initiates and the other, Sofia, says “no” because she is tired, stressed, there was a recent argument, she doesn’t feel an emotional connection, or she is resentful (fill in the blank). Javier initiates again, and another “no” from Sofia. This continues until Javier decides he doesn’t want to initiate anymore because it hurts too much to be rejected.

    Instead, Javier tells Sofia, “You initiate when you’re ready”. On one hand, this is a kind gesture; Javier doesn’t want to pressure Sofia. However, on the other hand, this is what Gottman classically describes as Turning Away. Javier isn’t turning toward Sofia to start a dialogue; he is turning away from her and leaving her to deal with the issue herself.

    The Avoidant Dynamic 

    After turning away again and again, over time, a ripple effect starts. First ripple: Javier and Sofia stop having sex. Then, as this dynamic goes on longer, non-sexual physical affection starts to decline, which leads to the second ripple: touching stops. Neither Javier nor Sofia is touching the other (a hug, a kiss, cuddling at night) for fear that the touch will either lead to sex (Sofia’s fear) or lead to rejection (Javier’s fear). As this dynamic goes on longer (i.e., no sex, no touching), the emotional connection starts to decline, which leads to the third ripple: “We just feel like roommates”. This is when Javier and Sofia describe little to no emotional connection. They have repeatedly turned away from each other, and that decision has gradually led to a very damaging ripple effect.

    Can you reverse this Avoidant Dynamic? 

    Yes, you can reverse this Avoidant Dynamic. The antidote is to change this Avoidant Dynamic (turning away from each other) to a Teammate Dynamic, which involves turning toward each other. The Teammate Dynamic looks like this: Javier initiates and Sofia says “no” because she is tired, stressed, there was a recent argument, she doesn’t feel an emotional connection, or she is resentful (fill in the blank).

    Sound familiar? Yes, the Teammate Dynamic starts like the Avoidant Dynamic, but then Javier and Sofia very quickly turn toward each other. Javier says, “I really want to connect. Is there some way we can connect that would feel good to you?” And Sofia says, “I really appreciate you putting out a bid for connection, and I also want to connect. Can we just snuggle? I think that’s all I have the energy for”. Essentially, they turn toward each other as teammates and start a dialogue on how they can connect in a way that works for both of them. This is the Teammate Dynamic, and this is the antidote to the Avoidant Dynamic.

    This all sounds lovely in a perfect world, but you might be wondering how to put this into action. Start with the current ripple that you’re in (lack of emotional connection) and then move backward to how it all started (no sex).

    Step One: Put money in the Emotional Bank Account

    First, prioritize Small Things Often to put money in the Emotional Bank Account of your relationship. Take a look at Gottman’s Magic 6 Hours, which are the six hours a week to a better relationship, and see if you can add any of those hours on a weekly basis. This includes Stress-Reducing Conversations, a 6-Second Kiss, and non-negotiable date nights. The goal of this first step is to put money back in the Emotional Bank Account and build emotional connection, so you no longer feel like “just roommates”.

    Step Two: Prioritize non-sexual physical affection

    Second, start to prioritize non-sexual physical affection. Because you have been avoiding non-sexual physical affection for fear it will lead to sex or rejection, you’ll likely need to have a sex embargo in place.

    The Sex Embargo

    What this means is that you both need to explicitly agree that sex is off the table for now. Some couples might be thinking, “Why is this necessary? We aren’t even having sex”. Many couples find this explicit agreement helpful because it clearly states, without any uncertainty, that sex is off the table. Without this agreement, there’s always the “what if?” For example, “What if we start to snuggle and he initiates sex?” Once you have agreed on the sex embargo, start to bring back the types of non-sexual physical affection that felt good to you both (kissing, cuddling, snuggling, massage, hugs, a pat on the butt). You’ll both likely feel relieved that touch can just be touch and isn’t tied to sex.

    Step Three: Reintroduce sexual connection

    Finally, once you are feeling more emotionally connected (step one) and more non-sexually physically connected (step two), begin to talk about reintroducing your sexual connection (step three). For many couples, this can be an awkward proposition because it’s been so long since they’ve had sex. Couples will often say, “I don’t even know how to get started?”

    This is where Sensate Focus exercises are incredibly helpful. Sensate Focus exercises are full body touching exercises with very clear guidelines that help you and your partner start touching again without the pressure of sex. These exercises are a great way to kick-start this part of your physical connection without the pressure and awkwardness of attempting to jump back into sex.

    Some couples can guide themselves through Sensate Focus without the help of a therapist, but others may need a therapist to assist them in removing the blocks and negative patterns that are getting in the way of reconnection. 

    Overall, a sexless marriage is not a foregone conclusion. It was likely created gradually over time by an Avoidant Dynamic and has led both partners to a very lonely place. The antidote is to cultivate a Teammate Dynamic by first turning toward each other emotionally (with Small Things Often and the Magic 6 Hours), then with non-sexual physical affection (which may require a sex embargo), and then eventually with sexual connection (using Sensate Focus).

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    Jordan Rullo

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  • Why Don’t I Feel Close to My Husband Anymore?

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    You still love him, but you don’t feel close to him. Perhaps your lives are busy with kids, activities and work. You might feel like you’ve lost the connection you initially had.  You’ve reached a point in your relationship where you realize that you no longer know his thoughts and feelings, and you are quite sure he doesn’t know yours. Recognizing this is an important breakthrough that can mark a significant turning point in your relationship, providing an opportunity for new patterns and greater emotional intimacy.

    You Still Love Each Other But….

    If someone were to ask if you loved your husband, you would say yes without hesitation. At the same time you may be experiencing the following:

    • Loneliness
    • Frustration
    • Disappointment
    • Sadness
    • Fear
    • Anger

    You might feel all of these things or some combination of them at various times and be unsure about what to do. Even when your husband is at home with you, you are lonely.. You try to act normal but inside you are in turmoil and can’t stop thinking about the state of your relationship. You might find yourself distracted and unable to engage fully in the present moment.. When the person you have committed your life to no longer  feels like your best friend, you wonder what will happen.  

    How Emotional Disconnection Begins

    It is usually a slow drift that happens over time without one defining moment. It can start with missed bids for attention, missed attempts to be affectionate. Maybe your husband tries to talk to you after a stressful day at work, but you are busy helping your son with homework and dismiss him. Or you ask him if he wants to go for a morning walk, but he says he wants to watch the game. These moments are missed bids for attention and affection, and over time they can pile up. What happens is that partners stop making bids, and the disconnection has begun.

    Signs You’re Growing Apart

    • Conversations feel surface-level or transactional

    You still talk but it’s about who’s picking up the kids, cooking dinner, logistics. It’s not exactly awkward but more like living with a roommate than a partner. Your interactions become transactional, focused on all of the things around you but not your relationship or even one another. When you try to talk to him, your ‘How was your day? ‘is met with ‘Fine’.

    • You feel unseen, unheard, or emotionally alone

    This is one of the most common and painful signs that the bond of emotional connection has weakened. Partners often describe a sense of living parallel lives rather than sharing a connected one. Partners begin to feel invisible to each other, and the relationship starts to lose its sense of warmth and safety.

    • Conflict increases — or you avoid it altogether

    Neither of you are getting your emotional needs met, so you may be more critical and perceive questions as attacks and become defensive. You might pick fights over the little things- maybe because you want to express your frustration, anger, and hurt but don’t know how to. Or maybe you avoid conflict altogether resigned to the idea that it’s not worth it.

    • Physical affection and intimacy decrease 

    There has probably been a subtle decrease in physical affection over time that you may have not even noticed. When before you may have cuddled on the couch watching a show together, you now sit separately on your own devices. The playful kiss or pat on the butt are no longer. There is little physical intimacy between you and your husband. Maybe he tries to initiate sex, and you pull away because you feel lonely and disconnected, but you don’t talk about it. He gets upset and pulls away, and you feel more alone. He initiates sex less often, and you also don’t initiate because of the distance you feel. 

    What Does It Mean

    It is easy to catastrophize when this dynamic is at play. Here are some things you may be thinking:

    • Something’s wrong with me
    • He’s not attracted to me anymore
    • He doesn’t love me anymore
    • Our relationship is over

    What It Actually Means

    There is a lack of emotional connection. Emotional connection is the experience of closeness created and maintained through loving interaction. Even when love is present, two people can drift apart without emotional connection. Emotional connection is maintained through positive, everyday exchanges. 

    When you don’t have these exchanges, you are more likely to see the negative in the relationship and in your partner. You may become critical of your partner and get defensive when they raise any issues. Trust and commitment start to break down. Negative dynamics start becoming the norm, and because you have lost some trust, it is harder to be open and vulnerable. 

    Why Disconnection Happens in Long Term Relationships

    This chain of events  highlights how damaging a lack of emotional connection can be to your relationship. Because when you feel upset, alone, unhappy, you will turn towards other people in your life to connect with. You might start complaining to your friends about your husband. You might look to social media for ‘people who understand.’ The problem with both of these actions is that you are further undermining your relationship. You want to feel understood and heard, so you find someone else who can fulfill that.

    Here are some causes of disconnection:

    • Stress
    • Not prioritizing the relationship/shift in priorities
    • Focus on the kids and parenting
    • Outside pressures – work, financial, etc
    • Conflict avoidance
    • Fear of vulnerability

    Negativity Bias

    You start noticing his annoying habits that never bothered you before. He never seems to help with household chores, and you start feeling resentment. Our brains are wired to notice the negative in the environment. It is a primal response to ‘keep us safe from threats.’ So perhaps your husband comments about not liking the dinner you cooked even though every other night he has complimented your cooking. What do you dwell on? The one negative comment.

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    Kendra Han

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  • Before Justin Trudeau and Katy Perry, There Was Pierre Trudeau and Barbra Streisand

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    Justin Trudeau may have more in common with his father, fellow former prime minister Pierre Trudeau, than Canadian politics. In recent months, Justin has reportedly been romancing pop star Katy Perry; the Daily Mail has published photos of the two canoodling off the coast of Santa Barbara, California. Both public figures are recently single as well: Perry ended her engagement to actor Orlando Bloom with whom she shares one daughter, Daisy, earlier this year, while Trudeau separated from his wife Sophie Gregóire-Trudeau, with whom he shares three children—Xavier, Hadrien, and Ella-Grace—in 2023.

    Perry seemingly addressed her romance with Justin during the London stop on her Lifetimes world tour on October 13, one day after the Daily Mail published the photos of her and Trudeau. Perry replied to a surprise marriage proposal from a fan during the concert by saying, “I wish you’d asked me 48 hours ago.” At another point in the concert, Perry referenced her previous penchant for falling for Brits like Bloom and her ex-husband Russell Brand. “London, England, you’re like this on a Monday night after a whole day at work and a whole day at school? No wonder I fall for Englishmen all the time.” She then cheekily added. “But not anymore.”

    Justin Trudeau may be following in his father’s footsteps by dating a world-famous musician. In the late 1960s and early 1970s, early in his first term, his father Pierre romanced none other than Barbra Streisand. Trudeau, who served as prime minister of Canada from 1968 to 1979 and again from 1980 to 1984, was 50 years old when he began dating Streisand, who was 27 at the time. The EGOT winner detailed their May-December romance in her biography, My Name Is Barbra.

    Streisand met Trudeau in 1968 at the premiere of Funny Girl. At that time, Streisand’s personal life was complicated to say the least: she was in the midst of a separation from actor Elliot Gould (whom she would divorce in 1971). Streisand wrote that she was “dazzled” by “the mix of Albert Einstein and Napoleon” that was Pierre. Trudeau’s personal life was no less complicated at the time; he was in the process of wooing Margaret Sinclair, 29 years his junior. Pierre would go on to wed Margaret in 1971, and have three children with her including Justin, after his romance with the Funny Girl star came to an end.

    Although they weren’t meant to be, Streisand had nothing but positive things to say about Pierre Trudeau, who died in 2000 at the age of 80 years old.  “He was so elegant, yet totally unpretentious and perpetually curious … an adventurer who had backpacked through the Middle East and Asia as a young man,” Streisand writes in her memoir. “And he had real charisma, generating so much excitement before and after his election that the Canadian press gave it a name … Trudeaumania.”

    Original story appeared in VF España.

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    JAVI SÁNCHEZ

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  • Al Pacino’s Biggest Regret Was Never Marrying Diane Keaton

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    Al Pacino and the late Diane Keaton famously played married couple Michael Corleone and his long-suffering wife Kay Adams in Francis Ford Coppola’s iconic Godfather trilogy. Off-screen, their relationship mirrored that of their characters, with Pacino and Keaton engaging in an on-and-off affair from 1971 to 1987. Now, in the wake of Keaton’s death at age 79, the Daily Mail reports that Pacino may have wished things went a little differently with his co-star.

    A friend of Pacino’s reportedly told the British paper that Pacino’s biggest  regret was not marrying Keaton when he had the chance. “Looking back, Al admits the love of his life was Diane who he’s always called, ‘an amazing woman,’” the source told the Daily Mail. “I know he will forever regret he didn’t make his move when he had the chance.” (Vanity Fair reached out to Pacino for comment.)

    According to the Daily Mail, at one point Keaton gave Pacino an ultimatum: marry me or it’s over. Pacino reportedly chose to end the relationship.  “For years after he and Diane split, Al used to say, ‘if it’s meant to be, it’s never too late for a do-over,’” added the source. “But sadly, now it is.’”

    Keaton and Pacino met on the set of The Godfather in 1971 and reportedly didn’t become romantically involved until after filming wrapped. “I was mad for him. Charming, hilarious, a nonstop talker,” Keaton told People of her co-star in 2017. “There was an aspect of him that was like a lost orphan, like this kind of crazy idiot savant. And oh, gorgeous!”

    Keaton dated a number of stars, including Woody Allen and Warren Beaty—but famously never married. “I remember one day in high school, this guy came up to me and said, ‘One day you’re going to make a good wife,’” she told People in 2019. “And I thought, ‘I don’t want to be a wife. No.’” While she never married, Keaton did have two children, daughter Dexter, 29, and son Duke, 25, via adoption when she was in her 50s.

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    Monica Coviello

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  • The Difference Between Love and Emotional Connection

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    What Is Love?

    Love is a feeling that can be expressed in many different ways. It can be communicated through words, actions and behaviors. It is a deep feeling of affection and caring for another person. It is a necessary part of relationships, but in and of itself not enough to sustain relationships through the trials and tribulations of life. 

    Expression of Love

    There has been a lot of focus on love and its expression. People show love by being affectionate, doing nice things for one another, showing their partner care, and telling them how much they mean to them. 

    People receive love in different ways as well. Some people love to receive compliments and affection. Others prefer when their partner cooks dinner and does the dishes for them. Because there is so much variation in how people express and receive love, there can be a disconnect in relationships. What if one partner feels loved when their partner plans a getaway weekend for them, while the other expresses love by doing the laundry and baking a cake? 

    Reasons for Differences

    Like with most relationship issues, the reason for differences usually predate the relationship, originating from childhood. Here are some common reasons:

    • How you were raised
    • The way your parents showed you love
    • How your parents expressed love to one another 
    • Relationships with your friends 
    • What you experienced in past relationships
    • Your individual personality. 

    Love Mismatch 

    When there is a difference between how your partner expresses love and how you like to receive love, there is a mismatch. This type of mismatch can lead to misunderstandings and conflict. One partner might feel unappreciated and the other may feel misunderstood. Let’s say your husband goes out and buys an expensive necklace with your birthstone for your birthday. But you don’t wear a lot of jewelry and you are stressed about finances. When you receive it, you immediately think, I won’t wear this. What he spent on the necklace could have paid off the credit card bill. Your husband sees your face and feels badly. He might think I can never make her happy! Or she doesn’t appreciate the effort I make.

    So this is where the difference between love and emotional connection comes into play. 

    Emotional Connection

    Emotional connection is a deep bond between two people based on trust, commitment and a strong friendship. It is an intimacy that goes beyond love where your partner’s wellbeing is not just important to you but a part of how you think and what you consider as you move through your daily life.

    What Does Emotional Connection Look Like?

    • It begins with understanding your partner’s current world.
    • What are they worried about?
    • Who are their close friends?
    • What are they looking forward to?
    • How is their work?

    So let’s go back to the scenario of the necklace for your birthday. If your husband had known that you were currently worried about money, he might have taken that into consideration when buying your birthday gift. If he paid attention to the fact that you wanted a day off from cooking and planning, he might have made the dinner plans. He can still give you a piece of jewelry so that he feels like he is expressing his love, but it could have been something less expensive and more meaningful.

    This way you would both feel like you were giving and receiving love,  and that it was appreciated by one another. You can see how this one small example can have different variations throughout your daily life, resulting in hurt feelings, misunderstandings and eventually resentment. This is not from an absence of love but rather a lack of understanding that comes from a true emotional connection.

    Open-Ended Questions

    One of the strongest predictors of lasting intimacy is how well partners stay connected in each other’s inner worlds. Keeping your partner in your mind’s awareness — even when you’re apart — is fundamental to emotional connection. You are moving through life together, not living parallel lives.

    You do this by asking questions to more deeply understand them on a daily basis. Ask questions that invite your partner to open up, rather than ones that only allow for a one word response. It might look like ‘Tell me about the most stressful part of your day today” vs “How was your day?” Actively inviting your partner to share their experience, thoughts and feelings with you builds connection and trust. 

    Showing Appreciation

    Noticing the positive things your partner does AND sharing your appreciation with them is an important part of a healthy happy relationship. It is easy to fall into a negative state of mind where you only notice the things your partner doesn’t do. That is a natural part of how the brain functions – the negativity bias. However, if you look for the positive in your environment, you will find it. When you regularly share appreciation and kindness towards your partner, you are creating a positive dynamic and feedback loop which leads to more and more positivity between the two of you.

    Bids

    Dr. John Gottman’s research shows that how couples handle ‘bids for connection’ is what can make or break a relationship. In fact he calls them ‘the fundamental unit of emotional communication.’ Bids for connection are those often subtle attempts to get attention from your partner. They can be verbal, nonverbal and/or a simple gesture. It is an expression of a desire to connect with your partner without actually saying “I want to connect. Pay attention to me!” 3 year olds are great at doing this with their parents, but as we get older it becomes more difficult to put ourselves in that position of vulnerability.

    What Do Bids Look Like?

    Bids may be thoughts, feelings, observations, opinions, or invitations. Easily recognizable verbal bids may sound like this:

    • Do you want to grab a cup of coffee with me?
    • Could you ask your friends if they know a good auto mechanic?
    • The neighbor’s house just went up for sale.
    • Did you see that news story about…?

     

    According to Dr. Gottman, nonverbal bids include:

    • Affectionate touching, such as a fun handshake, a pat, a squeeze, a kiss, a hug, or a back or shoulder rub.
    • Facial expressions, such as a smile, blowing a kiss, making a silly face, or sticking out your tongue.
    • Playful touching, such as tickling, bopping, wrestling, dancing, or a gentle bump or shove.
    • Affiliating gestures, such as opening a door, offering a place to sit, handing over a utensil, or pointing to a shared activity or interest.
    • Vocalizing, such as laughing, chuckling, grunting, sighing, or groaning in a way that invites interaction or interest.

    How Do You Respond to a Bid?

    There are three ways you can respond to a bid:

    1. Turning towards (acknowledging and engaging with the bid)
    2. Turning away (ignoring or missing the bid)
    3. Turning against (rejecting the bid through argument or hostility)

    Gottman found a critical difference in how happy and unhappy couples respond to bids for connection. Happy couples turned towards each other 86% of the time. Unhappy couples turned towards each other only 33% of the time.

    In fact, happy couples bid all the time. Gottman found that at the dinner table, happy couples might bid as many as one hundred times in a ten-minute period! It comes down to simply paying attention to one another and valuing and feeling valued by your partner. 

    The Role of Love

    Falling in love with someone feels good…really good. There is an initial phase of love where hormones and neurotransmitters (including dopamine- the ‘feel good’ hormone) are released. This can cause a feeling of euphoria, intoxication….a high. This phase can last for several weeks to a couple of years at which point you will learn that while love is important, without emotional connection the relationship will likely not survive. 

    Even when love is present, frequent misunderstandings or hurt feelings can create distance. Often, this stems from differing ways of expressing love. When you center your attention on building emotional connection, you begin to bridge those differences and strengthen your bond.

    When you have an emotional connection, you can argue without feeling like your relationship might end. You can fight and still know that your partner loves and respects you. Emotional connection allows you to move through the inevitable challenges that will arise in your relationship and in life. You have a sense of ‘we-ness’ vs ‘me-ness’ and know that regardless of what is happening around you, you have each other’s backs. This is the difference between love and emotional connection.

    Recipe for Success

    Research shows that doing the following will create an emotional loving connection:

    1. Know your partner’s world and hold space for it in your head and heart
    2. Ask your partner questions, inviting them to share and be vulnerable with you
    3. Notice the positive in your partner and let them know 
    4. Turn towards your partner when they make a bid for connection
    5. Make and respond to lots and lots of bids

     

    Life is full of external stress and pressures, unknowns and challenges. In between there are lots of moments. It is what you do in these moments that will allow you to get through the hard times with your partner. When you use these moments to connect and show your partner care, you are drastically increasing your chances of having a happy, healthy relationship. Unfortunately simply loving someone doesn’t fortify your relationship in the same way.  Without the practices and moments of connection, love might exist but partners can drift apart emotionally. Love becomes an idea or an abstract, but not a shared and lived experience. So make the most of those small moments, do the little things that make a big difference to keep your love alive and have a successful relationship. 

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    Kendra Han

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  • How to Communicate Better with Your Partner: Tips to Enhance Your Relationship

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    Learn research-based strategies to enhance your daily interactions, fostering not just clearer conversation, but also a deeper bond. Integrating these small things into your routines can make every conversation with your partner an opportunity to reconnect, rekindle, and rediscover joy in your relationship.

    Brief Overview

    Learning how to communicate better with your partner can transform your relationship, creating a deeper emotional connection. It’s tough to navigate misunderstandings, but by embracing active listening, empathy, and patience, you’re not just exchanging words; you’re building a bridge of trust and love. Engaging in intentional conversations,  with open-ended questions and attention to nonverbal cues, fosters an environment where both partners feel supported and valued. Each step towards better communication is a step towards a more loving, resilient partnership.

    Key Highlights

    • Recognizing common communication issues is essential to rebuilding any lost trust and to get through misunderstandings.
    • Active listening involves understanding feelings and providing emotional support, enhancing relationship communication.
    • Nonverbal cues play a role in conveying emotional support and understanding.
    • Practicing empathy in conversations creates a safe space for expressing needs and enhancing emotional connection.
    • Setting aside dedicated time for talking promotes love, respect, and deeper connection.

    Understanding the Foundations of Communication

    Improving communication with your partner can be challenging, yet it’s essential for a healthy emotional connection. Our research shows that establishing strong  communication involves recognizing common problems and utilizing core skills and strategies to ensure both partners are getting their needs met.

    Recognizing Common Communication Issues

    Issues can arise  from mismatched communication styles, leading to a cycle of misunderstandings and frustration. This in turn can lead to certain types of relationship dynamics. Dr. John Gottman characterizes the different types of couples as:

    1. Validating Couples
      • They listen carefully to each other, show respect, and work toward compromise.
      • Conflicts are calm and constructive, with lots of empathy and understanding.
    2. Volatile Couples
      • They argue passionately and express emotions openly, both positive and negative.
      • Disagreements can be intense, but they balance it with strong affection, humor, and connection.
    3. Conflict-Avoiding Couples
      • They avoid disagreements and emphasize common ground.
      • Harmony and acceptance are prioritized over resolution, and they agree to disagree.
    4. Hostile Couples
      • Characterized by criticism, defensiveness, and contempt during conflicts.
      • They are frequently negative toward each other, with little positive balance.
    5. Hostile-Detached Couples
      • Their conflicts are marked by coldness, emotional distance, and withdrawal.
      • There’s little warmth or engagement, and negativity dominates with minimal repair attempts.

     

    The first three (Validating, Volatile, Conflict-Avoiding) can still be stable and happy if the positive-to-negative ratio of interactions remains high. The last two (Hostile, Hostile-Detached) are typically unstable and at high risk for divorce.

    Addressing communication style differences and the dynamics they create requires  patience and transparency. It is important that both partners feel supported and encouraged to express their perspectives. By understanding these dynamics, you can foster a healthier dialogue within your relationship. Learning how to communicate better with your partner isn’t a solitary effort but a mutual commitment. It’s about moving forward hand in hand, learning, and growing together.

    Building a Compassionate Connection with Your Partner

    Creating a compassionate connection with your partner is about more than just words; it’s about feeling seen, heard, and valued. This journey involves embracing empathy and practicing patience, key components in learning how to communicate better with your partner. 

    Practicing Empathy in Conversations

    Empathy is connecting to another person’s feelings by seeing things from their perspective, staying out of judgment, and letting them know they’re not alone. It’s less about fixing and more about being present and saying, “I’m with you.” The power that empathy has is rooted in this emotional connection. 

    Empathy requires an active effort to understand your partner’s emotions and perspectives. Imagine your partner discussing a difficult day at work; instead of offering immediate solutions, empathizing with their feelings shows that you care deeply about their experience. It’s about connecting emotionally, acknowledging their feelings, and supporting them with compassion. Our research shows that when partners feel empathetically validated, they experience a stronger emotional connection that fortifies their bond. It involves quieting your mind to focus entirely on your partner’s emotional wellbeing. It strengthens the foundation of your relationship, encouraging deeper communication and fostering trust. 

    The Role of Patience and Understanding

    It can be difficult to have patience in the midst of life’s stressors when emotions are running high in a relationship. Yet, patience and understanding play vital roles in learning how to communicate better with your partner. They transform arguments into discussions, creating an environment where both voices feel respected and heard. This means letting go of the need to respond or convince or impose our emotional narratives on our partner. Partners often struggle because they react rather than respond. Reacting can shut down communication, but a patient response can give your partner the time and space to express their thoughts without interruption or prejudice. It’s about learning to coexist with differing perspectives without the need to assert dominance. 

    Strategies for Improving Communication

    Learning how to communicate better with your partner can transform the very fabric of intimacy and understanding within a relationship. It’s not just about talking; it’s about cultivating a space where both individuals feel heard and understood. This section delves into crucial strategies like asking open-ended questions and decoding nonverbal cues. Mastering these skills can lead to a deeper emotional connection, bringing warmth and confidence to your partnership. 

    Foundation of Friendship

    It is important to have a detailed understanding of your partner’s inner world—their hopes, worries, values, daily routines, and life story. This changes over time so it is something that needs to be updated on a regular basis. Dr. Gottman calls these Love Maps, and the importance lies in how they keep partners emotionally connected even as life changes. When you know each other deeply, you’re more likely to notice shifts in mood, anticipate needs, and offer meaningful support. Couples with strong Love Maps have greater resilience, because they feel truly known and understood.

    Rituals of Connection

    These are intentional habits or traditions that create consistent moments of closeness. These can be small, everyday rituals like sharing a morning check-in, or larger traditions such as family dinners or holiday celebrations. Their importance is that they build a sense of reliability and shared meaning. In busy or stressful seasons, these rituals anchor couples in a rhythm of connection, reminding each partner they are prioritized and cherished.

    Stress-Reducing Conversation

    This a conversation where both partners talk about external pressures—like work or family—without trying to “fix” them, but instead listening, validating, and empathizing. Its importance is that it transforms stress from something isolating into something bonding. By providing emotional safety, couples strengthen trust and show they are allies against outside challenges. Over time, this habit protects the relationship from being eroded by life’s unavoidable stressors.

    Asking Open-Ended Questions

    These questions, unlike their yes-or-no counterparts, invite your partner to share more deeply, allowing for a richer emotional exchange. For example, instead of asking, “Did you have a good day?”, you might say, “What made you smile today?” This small shift requires your partner to reflect and share insights, fostering a sense of warmth and intimacy that goes beyond superficial interactions.  Open-ended questions invite your partner to share  thoughts and feelings that might otherwise remain unspoken, leading to a healthier relationship dynamic. 

    The Importance of Active Listening

    Active listening in relationships isn’t just hearing words; it’s understanding feelings and providing the emotional support your partner needs. This skill is foundational for healthy communication and can significantly deepen your connection. In many relationships, we’re often quick to talk but slower to listen. Reacting with understanding rather than rushing to respond can greatly enhance communication. Active listening demands full attention. This involves maintaining eye contact, nodding affirmatively, and occasionally reiterating your partner’s points to show you’re engaged. When partners feel genuinely heard, they’re more likely to reciprocate, creating a cycle of positivity and support. 

    Nonverbal Communication: What You Might Be Missing

    Nonverbal communication plays a vital role in healthy relationships, and when used intentionally can strengthen connection. By becoming more aware of your partner’s body language, tone, and facial expressions, you can better recognize their emotional needs. Turning toward even small nonverbal bids for connection—like a smile, sigh, or touch—helps build trust and intimacy. Maintaining soft tones, open posture, and eye contact can reduce defensiveness, while repair attempts such as humor or a gentle touch can de-escalate conflict. Finally, monitoring your own nonverbal signals—especially avoiding contemptuous gestures like eye-rolling—supports emotional attunement and long-term relationship stability.

    Creating a Supportive Environment for Growth

    Building a truly supportive environment for growth with your partner requires intentional efforts in communication. By learning to set aside dedicated time to talk, you can ensure that communication isn’t purely transactional but also includes times for deeper connection and support. 

    Setting Aside Time to Talk in Your Relationship

    We often find ourselves entangled in the hustle and bustle of daily life, which can make it challenging to truly connect with the person we love. This disconnection can lead to misunderstandings or feelings of neglect. It’s vital, therefore, to consciously set aside time to communicate. This may seem like a small step, but our research shows that maintaining dedicated time to talk can substantially enhance the emotional landscape of a partnership.

    Consistency is key. The habitual nature of these dedicated moments ensures ongoing emotional and relational support, making it easier to address issues as they arise. When both partners know they have a dedicated time for genuine communication, it reduces stress and fosters a thriving environment for growth. This practice isn’t just about talking, it’s about deepening your emotional connection. 

    Learning how to communicate better with your partner is a journey worth embarking on, it can deepen your connection and brighten your shared future. By committing to honest dialogues, active listening, and empathy, you’re stepping towards a more fulfilling relationship. Remember, it’s about progress, not perfection. Every little effort counts and can lead to significant transformations. The conversations you share today lay the foundation for a stronger relationship tomorrow.

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    The Gottman Institute

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  • Taylor Swift shares inside look at Travis Kelce’s romantic proposal, talks wedding planning in rare interview

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    Taylor Swift is finally sharing details behind her engagement to NFL superstar Travis Kelce — and according to her, the Kansas City Chiefs tight end did not fumble the proposal.

    Swift, who released her new album, “The Life of a Showgirl,” today, opened up about the private moment Kelce popped the question and how he pulled it off in true fairytale fashion in a new interview on “The Graham Norton Show.”

    “He really crushed it in surprising me,” Swift, 35, told Norton during her first televised appearance since their engagement, according to People. “While we were talking on his podcast, he had a complete garden built out the back of his house to propose in.”

    TAYLOR SWIFT AND NFL STAR TRAVIS KELCE ARE ENGAGED AFTER 2 YEARS TOGETHER

    Taylor Swift shares Travis Kelce engagement details on “The Graham Norton Show.” (Ezra Shaw/Getty Images)

    She added, “He went all out — 10 out of 10.”

    Swift, dressed in a black, bejeweled collared mini dress, was asked to share more details about the wedding plans and she teased, “You’ll know.”

    “I want to do the album stuff first, and the wedding is what happens after in terms of planning. I think it will be fun to plan.”

    Taylor Swift wears sparkling dress on album cover

    Swift’s newly released album, “The Life of a Showgirl,” makes several nods to Kelce. (Mert Alas & Marcus Piggott)

    Swift and Kelce announced their engagement on Aug. 26 after two years of dating. 

    Meanwhile, during another interview Friday, the “Bejeweled” singer revealed just how much thought Kelce had put into designing her custom diamond ring. 

    Taylor Swift in her white two piece outfit and white jacket performs on stage with backup dancer Cam and boyfriend Travis Kelce, donning a top hat

    The Grammy winner details how Kansas City Chiefs tight end Travis Kelce surprised her with an elaborate backyard garden proposal. (Gareth Cattermole/TAS24/Getty Images for TAS Rights Management)

    “He designed it with this amazing jeweler, Kindred Lubeck. She does all of her gold engraving by hand,” Swift said on the U.K. radio show “Heart Breakfast” on Friday.

    The singer recalled showing Kelce a video of Lubeck’s work long before their engagement — not realizing he was taking notes the entire time.

    TAYLOR SWIFT ENGAGED TO TRAVIS KELCE: HOW NFL STAR CROSSED THE GOAL LINE AFTER OTHER STARS FUMBLED

    “I had shown him a video, I just thought her stuff was so cool. I had shown him a video like a year and a half ago, and he was just paying attention to everything it turns out,” she explained. “Because when I saw the ring I [gasped] … I was like, ‘I know who made this, I know who made this,’ and also, you listen to me!”

    Swift didn’t hold back her appreciation for the sentimental gesture.

    Travis Kelce with Taylor Swift on a boat

    Taylor Swift said Travis Kelce helped design her engagement ring. (Travis Kelce/Instagram)

    “It was like, you really know me. I didn’t know what I would want, but he did somehow — and that’s kind of a flex,” she added with a smile.

    The ring is estimated to be an 8 to 15-carat old mine cushion cut diamond.

    While she didn’t know what her ideal engagement ring was, it seemed she did have an idea that the proposal itself was coming.

    In songs on “The Life of a Showgirl,” the singer hints at finding “the one” after years of heartbreak — and makes not-so-subtle nods to Kelce.

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    On the track “Wood,” Swift sang, “Girls, I don’t need to catch a bouquet / To know a hard rock is on the way… The curse on me was broken by your magic wand / Seems to me that you and me, we make our own luck.”

    Taylor Swift in the cover of "The Life of a Showgirl"

    On her newly released album “The Life of a Showgirl,” the singer hints at finding “the one” after years of heartbreak. (Mert Alas & Marcus Piggott)

    She even references Kelce’s popular podcast, “New Heights.”

    “New heights of manhood / I ain’t gotta knock on wood,” she sings on the track.

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    In August, the couple announced their major relationship milestone on Instagram with the caption, “Your English teacher and your gym teacher are getting married.”

    In the series of sweet photos the pop superstar shared, Kelce could be seen down on one knee as Swift caressed his face during the intimate moment.

    The “Love Story” singer began dating Kelce in 2023.

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    Stephanie Giang-Paunon is an entertainment writer for Fox News Digital. Story tips can be sent to stephanie.giang@fox.com and on Twitter: @SGiangPaunon.

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  • Financial Infidelity Can Put Your Relationship At Risk

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    Financial infidelity is defined as consciously or deliberately lying to a romantic partner about financial behavior. It is not occasionally forgetting to record a check or debit card transaction. It’s a situation when one partner intentionally hides a money-related secret from the other, expecting that it would be disapproved of. Second, it’s failing to disclose this information to a partner.

    For instance, when Sarah, 38, failed to tell her husband Tyler, 37, that she had been loaning money to her younger sister, Kayla, this is financial infidelity. Sarah felt sorry for Kayla because she was going through a divorce and she needed money to rent an apartment. She didn’t tell Tyler about loaning Kayla $1,000 because she didn’t have confidence that he would approve of it and be understanding.

    Garbinsky et al (2020) found that financial infidelity can take the same emotional toll as physical or sexual infidelity. In addition to the feelings of being wounded by a partner who was betrayed and has broken trust, it can leave a family without financial security. 

    Romantic relationships are built on trust, but partners are not always honest in their financial behavior – they may hide spending, debt, and savings from one another. Financial infidelity can generate suspicion and resentment between partners. It can even shatter trust, and if it doesn’t stop, the fabric of a marriage or committed relationship can be damaged.

    In 2024, The National Endowment for Financial Education (NEFE) found that 2 in 5 (43%) of US adults who ever combined resources, confess to having committed some act of financial deception and 85% of those people said it affected their relationship in some way.

    Why Does Financial Infidelity Go Unnoticed?

    Sometimes, financial infidelity goes unnoticed for years, while in other cases, a partner may suspect it’s happening but use rationalization or denial because they have trouble believing that their loved one would be deceitful. This is especially true during an early period of marriage when couples tend to wear rose-colored glasses and want to see the best in each other. This can cause people to overlook mistakes or flaws in their partner’s character. 

    Married for three years to Sarah, Tyler puts it like this, “I felt quite betrayed when I found out Sarah was keeping secrets. She tried to convince me that I was a selfish person for questioning why she was loaning money to Kayla. I felt so angry when I discovered she had been skimming money from her paycheck and hiding it in a secret account to use for her own purposes. And, all along we’ve been struggling to pay monthly bills because Sarah said she wasn’t able to pay her share of them.”

    In other cases, a couple may have a two-pot money management system, which means they keep their incomes, payments, bills, and debts in two separate checking and savings accounts, and pay for all childrearing and household expenses on a fifty-fifty basis. When necessary, couples who use this system might contribute to a third account to pay for nonessentials like a family vacation.  If couples don’t have transparency and have regular money talks, it’s easy to see how financial infidelity can go unnoticed.

    Why Does Financial Infidelity Happen?

    Unfortunately, ongoing friction in an intimate relationship or marriage can lead to financial infidelity, such as hiding purchases or debt from a partner. In some cases, partners loan family members (or other people) money and conceal this information from their partner. They might rationalize their behavior because they believe their partner wouldn’t approve of it and they don’t consider it to be dishonest. 

    Often financial infidelity can be an indication of deeper issues in a relationship. As with Sarah and Tyler, it can have roots in feelings of mistrust, insecurities, and a need for protection or control. Like many couples, they rarely spoke about their finances and they had separate checking and savings accounts. As a result, it was easy for Sarah to feel entitled to loan Kayla money and to believe it was unnecessary to tell Tyler because she earned the money, and it was her personal checking account. 

    How to Heal From Financial Infidelity 

    The first step in healing from financial infidelity is admitting that there is a problem and fostering a willingness to get help by a professional. Both people in a relationship need to be honest about their financial mistakes in the present and in the past, so that they can truly repair the damage done. That means bringing out every statement, credit card receipt, bill, checking or savings account statement, loan, or other evidence of spending. 

    Next, both partners need to make a commitment to work through issues together. The person who was betrayed needs time to adjust to the details of the breach of trust and this does not happen overnight. 

    Additionally, the person who is the perpetrator of the financial infidelity needs to be completely transparent and willing to take responsibility for their behavior. They also need to make a promise to stop keeping secrets about money. This means changing their daily habits of spending and/or hiding money, lending money to others, or even gambling. 

    If your partner keeps secrets about money, it’s normal to feel frustrated, angry, or resentful and to criticize them. Instead, do your best to avoid conversations which involve blame, defensiveness, accusations, and personal attacks. 

    According to Dr. John Gottman, criticism is one of the main causes of divorce and can have a devastating effect on a relationship. Remember that a complaint is different from criticism. For instance, this is a complaint: “I’m upset because you didn’t tell me that you purchased a new bike and charged it. We agreed to discuss nonessential credit card purchases, and money is tight right now.” This is a criticism: “You never tell me the truth. How can I trust you?” Remember that criticism might cause your spouse to be highly defensive, escalate conflict, and even destroy your relationship.

    Ways to Deal With Financial Infidelity in Your Relationship

    1. Make a commitment to full disclosure about finances.

    Don’t expect that your conversations will go smoothly at first. Keep in mind you will be discussing emotions as well as numbers. If you’re the perpetrator, you need to share details about your past and current debts and secret accounts, as well as spending habits. You may need to do this by showing your partner bank and credit card statements, and having weekly check-ins until the tension between you lessens and some level of trust is restored. 

    2. Make a commitment to monthly money talks.

    Check in with your partner on a regular basis to rid yourself of debt and spending habits that are contributing to any financial problems in your marriage. During these discussions, review your joint budget and actual spending. Adjust your spending if needed so you can achieve financial health. Spending less than you earn is an important first step. 

    3. Consider couples therapy.

    Sometimes people are less defensive and are more motivated to change behavior, such as financial infidelity, if a third-party shares information and insights. In most cases, a couples therapist (and a certified financial planner) can help to educate you and your partner about how to have transparent and easier money talks. They can show you how to become true financial partners who adopt a mindset of “us against the problem” rather than “us against each other.”

    Financial infidelity can have a negative impact on a couple emotionally and financially. When a couple has poor communication skills and they’re dealing with financial infidelity, this can be a disastrous for a relationship because it destroys trust and intimacy. 

    The good news is that by tackling the challenges that come with financial infidelity head on, you can restore trust and repair your marriage or committed relationship. Keep in mind that conversations about money can easily escalate into high conflict. Consider working with a couples therapist who can facilitate low-conflict conversations about money. 

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    Terry Gaspard

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  • Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban Have Separated

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    Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban, the Hollywood power couple who wed in 2006, have broken up, a source confirms to Vanity Fair. According to TMZ, the two Aussies have been living apart in their hometown of Nashville for months, since the beginning of the summer. The gossip site indicates that Urban initiated the separation.

    The Oscar winner and the country singer share two teenage daughters, Sunday and Faith. They’ve earned a reputation for being one of the entertainment industry’s most devoted couples. In a 2007 Vanity Fair cover story, shortly after she and Urban got married, Kidman spoke candidly about her feelings for her new husband: “Since getting married, I’ve passed on things,” she says. “I do not want to be living my life away from the person I love. I just won’t do it.” In 2021, Urban called marrying Kidman his greatest achievement.

    In 2022, Urban spoke to The Sun about his marriage and maintaining his sobriety: “I still make the odd mistake, but not anything like I did in the past—and these days I see them coming before everything implodes,” he explained. “Work-life balance is never really achieved, it is maintained. It can easily go out of whack. I’ve learned a lot about how to correct them. Umpteen years ago I never corrected things until it was too late, but now I see it starting to go out and I’m much better at catching it before things implode.” He made headlines again this summer, when he hung up on a radio show after the hosts asked what he thinks when he sees Kidman films that include sex scenes.

    Reps for both have not responded to requests for comment.

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    Hillary Busis

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  • The Stars on the Sidelines: Now the NFL’s A-List WAGs Have Their Own Fanbases

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    Nathaniel S. Butler

    WAG: Cardi B
    Who’s She Rooting For?: Stefon Diggs and the New England Patriots
    Status: Dating, pregnant
    What’s Her Thing?: Safe to say Cardi is having a moment. She’s primarily a musician, and just released her second album, Am I the Drama?. She’s also made the meme rounds recently, thanks to her infinitely quotable court testimony in August, pertaining to a 2018 assault accusation. The rapper was found both not liable in the civil suit, and got to explain the concept of wigs on the court record. Win-win.
    Selected Wife Trophies: 1 Grammy, 6 American Music Awards, 8 Billboard Music Awards, more. Holds seven Guinness World Records.

    The Stars on the Sidelines Now the NFL's AList WAGs Have Their Own Fanbases

    Kevin Mazur

    WAG: Alix Earle
    Who’s She Rooting For?: Braxton Berrios and the Houston Texans
    Status: Dating, cohabitating
    What’s Her Thing?: Host of Hot Mess with Alix Earle podcast, social media influencer
    Selected Wife Trophies: Presenter at American Music Awards and NFL Honors

    The Stars on the Sidelines Now the NFL's AList WAGs Have Their Own Fanbases

    Stefanie Keenan

    WAG: Olivia Culpo
    Who’s She Rooting For?: Christian McCaffrey and the San Francisco 49ers
    Status: Married since 2024
    What’s Her Thing?: Model, actor, pageant queen
    Selected Wife Trophies: Won Miss Rhode Island USA, Miss USA, and Miss Universe

    The Stars on the Sidelines Now the NFL's AList WAGs Have Their Own Fanbases

    XNY/Star Max

    WAG: Hailee Steinfeld
    Who’s She Rooting For?: Josh Allen and the Buffalo Bills
    Status: Married since 2025
    What’s Her Thing?: Actor and singer
    Selected Wife Trophies: 1 Critics Choice Award, 1 Billboard Music Award, 1 Peabody Award

    The Stars on the Sidelines Now the NFL's AList WAGs Have Their Own Fanbases

    Perry Knotts

    WAG: Simone Biles
    Who’s She Rooting For?: Jonathan Owens and the Chicago Bears
    Status: Married since 2023
    What’s Her Thing?: Gymnast, has the most Olympic medals of any U.S. gymnast in history
    Selected Wife Trophies: 11 Olympic medals, 30 World Championship medals, 2 Pacific Rim championships

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    Kase Wickman

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  • ‘What I do when I’m at Texas Roadhouse’: Woman is ‘sick of arguing’ with her boyfriend about the right way to eat a baked potato. So she posts a video to settle the debate

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    It’s natural for a couple in a relationship to have different ways of doing things. It can be low-stakes stuff, like the right way to load a dishwasher. Or more significant, like the best parenting style to raise children. One couple’s seemingly harmless debate, however, had TikTokers divided after they revealed the boyfriend’s, er, unique way of eating a baked potato. 

    What happened at this Texas Roadhouse?

    After being “sick of arguing” with her boyfriend, TikToker @ohmothertucker took the debate to the platform. She wanted to let viewers decide whether her man’s way of eating potatoes was unhinged. The clip, which garnered over 2.7 million views, shows @ohmothertucker and her boyfriend at Texas Roadhouse. The clip starts with her eating her baked potato with a fork, scooping up the inside bits. You know, like a normal person. The second clip shows her boyfriend picking up the potato with his bare hand and taking a huge bite out of it like a taco. Potato bits fall out of his mouth as he looks at her.

    Needless to say, many were on @ohmothertucker’s side. 

    Viewers are horrified 

    Several of @ohmothertucker’s viewers were appalled at the boyfriend’s method. The consensus was that his way was definitely the wrong way to eat the starchy vegetable.

    “There’s not a wrong way but his is the wrong way,” the top comment with 48,000 likes read. Another wrote, “My initial reaction when I saw him eat that potato was ‘well not like that!’” 

    More viewers roasted the boyfriend, with one writing, “In 33 years of life, I have NEVER seen anyone eat a baked potato like this….”

    “I dunno if there’s necessarily a right way to eat a baked potato, but he just showed there’s at least one wrong way. It’s a potato, dude, not a taco!” yet a second user said. 

    Despite the TikToker liking all of the comments roasting her beau, she did concede in a comment, “He’s breaking the status quo and I respect him for it.” 

    To ensure folks knew she loved her man–weird potato eating skills and all–she posted a follow-up video addressing her viewers’ “cyberbullying.”

    “We love each other, I promise,” she captioned the clip. 

    @ohmothertucker I wish this were rage bait but unfortunately he’s serious #fyp #couple #texasroadhouse #relationship #poll ♬ This Is The Life Demo Hannah Montana – out of context hannah montana

    The Mary Sue reached out to the creator via TikTok direct message. 

    Have a tip we should know? [email protected]

    Image of Gisselle Hernandez

    Gisselle Hernandez

    Gisselle Hernandez-Gomez is a contributing reporter to the Mary Sue. Her work has appeared in the Daily Dot, Business Insider, Fodor’s Travel and more. You can follow her on X at @GisselleHern. You can email her at [email protected].

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    Gisselle Hernandez

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  • Kate Gosselin says she’s ‘super, super happy’ with mystery man

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    NEWYou can now listen to Fox News articles!

    Kate Gosselin revealed to fans this week she’s been dating a man for more than a year and she’s very happy.

    Without sharing his identity and adding that he’s a little camera shy, the former “Kate Plus 8” star said Monday he’s someone she’s known for a long time. 

    While answering fan questions on TikTok, Gosselin said the answer to “Are you dating?” is “actually, finally yes.”

    She said she’s been dating her mystery man for about 14-15 months, and she’s “super, super happy.”

    KATE GOSSELIN SLAMS RUMORS SHE STOLE HER CHILDREN’S COLLEGE FUNDS

    Kate Gosselin told fans this week she’s been dating a man for more than a year, and she’s “super, super happy.”  (Noel Vasquez/Getty Images)

    “It’s someone I’ve known for a really long time, and I am very, very happy,” she continued. “He doesn’t really want to be on TikToks. Can’t blame him, I guess. But you, perhaps, will catch a peep of him going forward.” 

    A source told the New York Post that Gosselin has been living with former bodyguard Steve Neild. 

    “They have wedding plans, it’s that serious,” the source added. 

    Fox News Digital has reached out for comment. 

    Gosselin was married to Jon Gosselin for 10 years before they divorced in 2009. 

    LIKE WHAT YOU’RE READING? CLICK HERE FOR MORE ENTERTAINMENT NEWS

    Kate Gosselin poses with her twins and sextuplets

    Kate continued filming with her children following her split from Jon Gosselin. (Donna Svennevik/Disney General Entertainment Content)

    The former couple share eight children together and starred on the reality series “Jon & Kate Plus 8” from 2007 until 2009. The show was rebranded as “Kate Plus 8” after the couple split. 

    Gosselin revealed last month she works 12-hour shifts these days as a pediatric nurse. 

    CLICK HERE TO SIGN UP FOR THE ENTERTAINMENT NEWSLETTER

    Kate Gosselin in a black dress with a choppy short haircut smiles next to Jon Gosselin in a tan blazer and dark sweater

    Jon and Kate Gosselin share eight children. They divorced in 2009. (Amy Sussman/WireImage for Discovery Communications)

    One fan asked her in a TikTok video what happened to all her money.

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    “Honestly? Providing for 8 kids, college funds which I am proud to say covered all of their college and more and LAWYERS,” she answered. “Sickening but I was drug into court constantly and that costs A TON. Sad bc my kids could have a lot more saved and I could have a retirement saved if it weren’t for lawyers. It’s OK. I’m helping other families and I feel needed and I enjoy helping!”

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  • ‘Why are you looking at his phone?’: Los Angeles woman notices married man on flight to Sydney texting his ‘mom.’ Then she exposes what he was writing

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    In this day and age, it’s normal to be close with your parents. But according to this TikToker, one man might be taking his relationship with his mom a step too far.

    In the viral clip, Los Angeles-based Jacey (@bobdurst) said, “Not to be this person, but if your husband was on a flight from Sydney, Australia to Los Angeles this morning, Wednesday, September 17—and I know he’s married because he was wearing a wedding ring—so if that’s your husband, he was sitting in Comfort Plus in a middle seat, he was texting his mom, and the contact card was Mom with a heart kept telling her, ‘babe.’ He said, ‘Love you babe. Miss you. babe, Landed babe.’ So either he’s cheating on you or he’s [expletive] his mom.”

    The video amassed 17,000 views.

    Viewers told the TikToker to stay out of his relationship

    For the most part, commenters believed that Jacey shouldn’t have gotten involved in the man’s relationship. “Oh, but you are that person,” one wrote. “Weird..When I’m on a flight I mind my own business,” another added. While a third asked, “Why are you looking at his phone?”

    Joining the chorus, a fourth said, “My husband calls me momma, so… as much as I appreciate the woman-to-woman girl power, can we normalize people minding their own business?”

    Other TikTokers suggested that it could be his wife or the mother of his children.

    “You know how many guys called their wife mom cause they’re always telling them to behave,” one comment read.

    “He has children. His wife’s account is labeled ‘Mom’ because that’s what his children call her!” another read. “He is a good husband who loves his wife. Relax.”

    While a third was more speculative, noting, “Could be his wife / mother of children.”

    “Ok, I sincerely hope so,” Jacey replied to this commenter. “But weird to have ‘Mom’ as his contact for his wife, no?”

    Jacey didn’t immediately respond to The Mary Sue’s request for comment via TikTok comment.

    Part of a larger pattern?

    Ultimately, while this particular mystery might remain unsolved, Jacey’s actions aren’t uncommon.

    TikToker Caroline Rened previously went viral after catching a cheating husband red-handed: posting the incriminating clip online for all to see.

    “If this man is your husband flying United Airlines, flight 2140, from Houston to New York, he’s probably going to be staying with Katy tonight,” Rened wrote in the video description.

    “Him and Katy met at the airport bar and haven’t left each other’s side since then. He convinced her to change her seat so she could sit next to him and they could drink.”

    @bobdurst #losangeles #travel #delta #australia #marriage ♬ original sound – jacey

    “I don’t know his name, but know hers because he keeps saying it,” she added. “I wouldn’t have known he was married if he hadn’t been wearing his wedding ring.”

    Have a tip we should know? [email protected]

    Image of Charlotte Colombo

    Charlotte Colombo

    Charlotte is an internet culture writer with bylines in Insider, VICE, Glamour, The Independent, and more. She holds a Master’s degree in Magazine Journalism from City St George’s, University of London.

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    Charlotte Colombo

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  • Effective Communication in a Relationship: 5 Ways to Communicate Better

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    In intimate relationships, effective communication serves as the foundation that keeps partners in sync. By mastering the art of communication, couples can navigate challenges with ease, fostering deeper connections and mutual understanding. 

    In this article, we’ll explore five tips that will help you communicate better in your relationship:

    1. Understanding the Importance of Effective Communication in Relationships
    2. Strategies for Positive Communication
    3. Navigating Communication Issues
    4. Conflict Management through Better Communication
    5. The Impact of Non-verbal Communication

    Understanding the Importance of Effective Communication in Relationships

    Effective communication forms the backbone of a healthy relationship. Without strong communication, relationships often struggle to grow and thrive. Partners who engage in positive communication behaviors can enhance their connection, fostering trust and mutual understanding.

    The Role of Communication

    It is through communication that partners share their feelings, hopes, and dreams, allowing them to create a shared vision for their future. The communication style adopted within a relationship can significantly impact how partners relate to one another. Effective communication skills lead to meaningful exchanges that ensure both partners feel heard and understood, while lack of open dialogue may lead to misunderstandings and unmet needs, ultimately affecting relationship satisfaction. 

    By placing an emphasis on healthy communication behaviors, partners are better equipped to manage conflicts, make joint decisions, and strengthen their emotional bond, leading to greater overall satisfaction within the relationship.

    How Communication Strengthens Bonds

    Strong communication acts as the glue that holds relationships together, providing a solid platform for growth and intimacy. 

    Engaging in open dialogues about needs and desires helps partners form a clear understanding of each other, ensuring that both are aligned in their goals and expectations. This mutual understanding nurtures a relationship where individuals feel valued and respected, ultimately boosting relationship satisfaction. Constructive communication behaviors, such as expressing gratitude and offering reassurance, further solidify these bonds.

    Communication also fosters emotional intimacy by inviting partners to share their vulnerabilities and support each other through various challenges. This transparency develops a deeper connection and greater empathy between partners, which are crucial for long-term relationship success.

    Strategies for Positive Communication

    By focusing on techniques that prioritize understanding and mutual respect, partners can develop healthy communication skills that enhance their bond. 

    Techniques for Effective Dialogue

    Effective dialogue in a relationship hinges on the ability to truly listen and communicate feelings with authenticity. The following techniques can help you and your partner really listen, understand each other better, and see each other’s point of view.

    Active Listening

    Active listening requires partners to engage with their whole selves, focusing on their partner’s words, tone, and non-verbal cues. This means setting aside distractions and dedicating full attention when your partner is speaking, demonstrating that their thoughts and feelings are valued. Listen to understand, not to respond, and don’t try to interrupt or give advice unless it’s asked for or encouraged.

    Mindful Messaging

    Effective communication also involves being mindful of how messages are conveyed. The verbal content of a conversation is just one part of the communication process. Emphasizing clarity, empathy, and a supportive tone helps avoid misunderstandings and ensures that each partner’s intentions are comprehended. 

    Taking Turns

    Have you ever gotten into an argument with your partner where you talk over each other, focus on what you’ll say next instead of listening, or feel like you’re on opposing sides? These types of discussions aren’t productive, and you’re more likely to end up dissatisfied and more upset than you started.

    Taking turns in the dialogue, allowing each person to express themselves fully without interruption, promotes a balanced communication flow. 

    Here’s a Gottman exercise for using a speaker/listener approach:

    • Step 1: Choose a Situation – what are you going to discuss?
    • Step 2: Decide on Roles – who will be the speaker and who will be the listener?
    • Step 3: Explain Your Point of View – the speaker uses“I” statements to explain their point of view, the listener listens to understand, validates, and does not speak about their point of view (yet).
    • Step 4: Listen, Understand, Repeat Back – the listener validates and demonstrates understanding. If further clarification is needed, the speaker can repeat their feelings.
    • Step 5: Validation and Compromise – if a compromise is necessary, it’s discussed at this time.
    • Step 6: Switch Roles – the speaker and listener swap roles and repeat steps 3-5. 
    • Step 7: End with an Appreciation – end on a positive note and tell each other what you love and appreciate about each other. 

    “I” Statements

    In scenarios where emotions run high, using “I” statements can prevent blame and foster a more constructive exchange. “I feel _____ about ______, and I need _______.” is a good place to start. This approach encourages partners to consider the impact of their words on their significant other, enhancing the satisfaction gained from positive communication.

    The more these skills are practiced, the more naturally they become a part of daily interactions, leading to a stronger, more resilient partnership.

    Building Trust through Communication

    Open and honest exchanges lay the groundwork for a relationship where both partners feel secure and valued. 

    Being Truthful

    Trust in communication involves consistently being truthful and transparent about one’s feelings, needs, and thoughts. This openness allows partners to understand each other’s vulnerabilities and fosters an environment where trust thrives. Actively addressing any concerns or doubts in a timely manner also reinforces trust, as it shows a commitment to maintaining the relationship’s integrity and satisfaction.

    Expressing Empathy

    Beyond truthfulness, showing empathy and understanding during exchanges helps deepen the trust partners have in each other. It involves listening with the intent to understand rather than immediately respond. When partners can articulate their thoughts and feelings without fear of judgment or misunderstanding, it contributes significantly to the development of mutual trust. 

    Being Reliable 

    Trust is further built when partners honor commitments and follow through on what has been discussed, proving reliability and reinforcing the belief that both parties are aligned in their relationship goals. To sum it up: say what you mean, mean what you say, and follow through on what you say you’re going to do.

    Respecting Differences

    Additionally, trust grows when partners recognize and respect each other’s communication style. This means accommodating each other’s preferences for sharing and expressing, whether they lean towards verbal exchanges or more subtle, non-verbal cues. Respecting these differences shows a willingness to adapt, an understanding that strengthens interpersonal trust. 

    By embedding these practices into regular communication, partners create a resilient partnership marked by honesty and unwavering trust. Such a relationship is equipped to face challenges with confidence and unity, valuing each interaction as a building block of their shared life.

    Navigating Communication Issues

    Strengthening relationship satisfaction involves understanding and transforming negative communication behaviors into opportunities for growth. By addressing these issues early, partners can prevent misunderstandings and conflicts, ensuring their relationship remains harmonious and resilient.

    Identifying Common Communication Barriers

    Recognizing common communication barriers is the first step towards effective relationship management. Often, feelings of being misunderstood or neglected stem from poor listening practices or a mismatch in communication styles. It’s normal for partners to have varied communication preferences, which can act as barriers if not addressed. Here are some common barriers:

    Passive Communication

    Passive communication, where one’s needs and desires aren’t explicitly stated, often results in misunderstandings, as partners might not fully comprehend each other’s feelings or intentions. This passive style can lead to an environment where emotions simmer but aren’t shared openly, eventually affecting relationship satisfaction and increasing the potential for conflict.

    Misreading Non-verbal Communication

    Additionally, non-verbal communication plays a significant role in how messages are interpreted. Misreading body language, facial expressions, or tone can amplify communication issues. For example, a sigh might be misinterpreted as annoyance when it’s actually signaling fatigue. Understanding these subtle cues and addressing them can minimize potential barriers that prevent effective communication. 

    Assumptions

    Barriers like preconceived notions about a partner’s intentions can cloud judgment. If these assumptions go unchallenged, they can develop into longstanding communication problems that hamper relationship growth. Prioritizing open dialogue and seeking clarity instead of relying on assumptions supports healthier relationships.

    Stress and External Pressure

    Barriers such as stress and external pressures can impact how partners communicate. When life becomes overwhelming, it can hinder one’s ability to engage fully in their relationship, leading to unintentional neglect of their partner’s needs. Recognizing these signs and fostering a supportive environment for discussing external stressors is vital. 

    By actively identifying these communication barriers, partners can work together to dismantle them, ensuring a stronger and more resilient relationship.

    Overcoming Communication Challenges

    Overcoming communication challenges requires persistent effort and a willingness to adapt. 

    Listening to Understand, Not to Respond

    Effective communication starts with practicing active listening, where partners focus entirely on what the other person is saying, avoiding interruptions and demonstrating genuine interest. This lays the groundwork for a more productive dialogue and reduces the likelihood of misunderstandings.

    Using “I” Statements

    Utilizing “I” statements instead of “you” accusations can prevent blame and foster a more understanding conversation. For example, saying, “I feel neglected when we don’t spend time together” is more constructive than saying, “You never spend time with me.” This approach helps diffuse tension and opens up the floor for a more meaningful exchange. 

    Acknowledge Stress

    It’s essential to acknowledge the impact of stress on communication patterns. When partners are under pressure, communication can become strained. Setting aside time to address the sources of stress together can enhance communication by aligning goals and expectations.

    Practicing Patience and Empathy

    Working towards patience and empathy ensures that both partners feel heard and valued. Patience allows partners to navigate conflicts without escalating them. Approaching conversations with empathy fosters a safe space where each partner can express their perspectives without fear of judgment. 

    Overcoming communication challenges is an ongoing process that strengthens a relationship over time, ultimately leading to increased relationship satisfaction. 

    Conflict Management Through Better Communication

    Conflicts are an inevitable part of any relationship, but how partners handle them sets the tone for trust and mutual understanding. Effective communication plays a vital role in resolving these conflicts constructively.

    Approaches to Conflict Management

    In any relationship, the approaches taken to resolve conflicts can significantly affect overall satisfaction and trust. 

    Listening to Understand

    When you listen to understand, you acknowledge individual feelings but also promote a constructive dialogue where both parties feel valued. Active listening is foundational for ensuring misunderstandings are promptly addressed and not allowed to fester into larger issues. Practice active listening by reflecting back what your partner is saying to ensure understanding.

    Softened Start-up

    Another critical approach is embracing the “soft start-up” method, a technique that encourages partners to express their feelings and concerns gently rather than confrontationally. This involves using “I” statements to express emotions softly, preventing partner defensiveness and allowing deeper emotional expression. For instance, saying “I feel overwhelmed when plans are last-minute,” instead of accusatory statements, helps keep the conversation constructive. This method can significantly reduce the intensity of conflicts, steering dialogues towards solutions that both partners can agree on without damaging the trust and respect built over time.

    Regular Check-ins

    Setting aside dedicated time to discuss conflicts when emotions are calmer can be beneficial. Often, addressing issues impulsively during heated moments leads to less effective communication and more conflicts. If things get too heated, choosing a time when both partners are open to dialogue enhances the chances of a productive outcome. It’s about creating a safe environment where both feel comfortable expressing themselves, ultimately leading to healthier and more respectful conflict resolution.

    Implementing these techniques can further contribute to a healthier and more resilient relationship dynamic.

    The Impact of Non-Verbal Communication

    Non-verbal communication plays a crucial role in how partners perceive and interact with each other. While verbal exchanges often get the spotlight, it’s the non-verbal cues, facial expressions, gestures, and body language that convey a wealth of unspoken emotions. Understanding these subtle signals is essential for fostering relationship satisfaction as they often reveal deeper layers of emotions that words alone can’t articulate.

    Interpreting Non-verbal Cues

    A gentle touch or reassuring look can express empathy and understanding, helping partners feel seen and supported. Nonverbal communication is a powerful, silent language that enriches what words convey, especially during conflict, when emotions run high and words can be misunderstood. Learning to read and respond to each other’s nonverbal cues allows couples to navigate difficult moments with greater care and connection.

    Listen to What’s Not Being Said

    Refining one’s ability to listen not just to words but also to what’s unsaid elevates relationship communication. For example, what is your partner really saying when they tell you, “I wanted to stay at the party longer.”? Perhaps they are saying that they were having a good time, they had more they wanted to chat with people about, or they wanted to make sure they didn’t miss something important. By tuning into these unspoken words, partners can learn to better understand each other.

    Effective communication is the foundation of a strong relationship. By practicing active listening, showing empathy, using ‘I’ statements, and paying attention to both words and nonverbal cues, partners can avoid misunderstandings and build deeper trust. It takes ongoing effort from both sides, but the reward is a healthier, more connected relationship that lasts.

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  • Is Nina Dobrev TikTok Telling on Shaun White in the Aftermath of Their Breakup? An Investigation

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    Parting is such sweet sorrow, but post-breakup tea isn’t such a terrible flavor profile either, as it turns out. Retired Olympic snowboarder Shaun White and actor Nina Dobrev broke up after five-and-a-half years of dating—the final 11 months of which they were engaged—media outlets confirmed last week. Neither White nor Dobrev has commented publicly on the split. What’s done is, as they say, done, so why are the amateur sleuths of the internet pledging their allegiance to Team Nina and shrieking about Bob the Builder while discussing whether they need to go full Vampire Diaries on White?

    Wondering how a diminutive cartoon handyman fits into this narrative? God, isn’t everyone. Dobrev posted a TikTok on September 5 (the split was reported nearly a week later, on September 11) lip-synching to trending audio that invoked Robert T. Builder’s informal name and retroactively raised suspicions of Shaun-foolery along with eyebrows in the wake of the breakup news.

    “How do you sleep at night knowing people don’t like you? With no underwear in case they want to kiss my ass,” said the audio over which Dobrev lip-synched to the camera. “What’s your advice for women trying to fix their man? Listen, Bob the Builder, he’s got 10 other women trying to fix him too, and you all look like a damn construction crew.”

    For those wondering, the audio appears to originate from an account called Bad Bitch Granny and features two bougie elderly white women on a plane holding dogs that give off an air of canine fanciness. One of the women—and both dogs—are wearing sunglasses. Throughout the full clip, six different beverages, by my count, appear onscreen in varying configurations and states of fullness. You get the drift. The next question in that video, after the point where Dobrev’s audio cuts off, pertains to what to tell attention seekers. “Roses are red, violets are blue, I don’t give a big fuck what you do.” Well well.

    While reps for Dobrev and White did not respond to Vanity Fair’s request for comment, an unnamed source told Us Weekly that “Nina is devastated” in the aftermath. “They had finally started planning the wedding and things were in motion,” this “insider” said.

    Now is a fantastic time to remember that media literacy and critical thinking apply just as much to analyzing celebrity news as political reporting. The same day that Dobrev posted the TikTok in question, September 5, she also posted an Instagram carousel of photos of her Greek getaway with White, featuring some lovey-dovey cuddle-time schmoop, sheet masks, and enviably aquamarine waters. Ooh, ahh, see how it sparkles and wonder whether Dobrev enjoyed People We Meet on Vacation, her pictured reading material. Given that the two pieces of social content were posted on the same day, it seems semi-reasonable to wonder whether something happened after the Insta to prompt the Tok, with news of the split becoming public later. Did White do something that made the answer to Bob the Builder’s evergreen question—“Can we fix it?”—“No, we can’t”?

    A look into the guts of both the TikTok and Instagram post reveals exactly when each of the pieces of content was posted. So which came first? According to the metadata, the Instagram post was shared at 19:11 UTC (3:11 p.m. ET) and the TikTok was posted the same day at, drumroll please…18:04 UTC (2:04 p.m. ET), meaning the TikTok preceded the Instagram post by about an hour. The theory fit until it simply didn’t.

    Do with that what you will. Also remember that you probably don’t know either of these people and should examine your investment in their relationship as closely as I did the code, and we’ll see you on the next episode of True Detective: Internet.

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    Kase Wickman

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  • ‘Who’s going to tell her?’: Woman says her fiancé is a ‘green flag’ after he chose Iceland for his bachelor party. Here’s why viewers aren’t so sure

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    When it comes to dating, we often talk about what we consider to be “red flags” and “green flags” of potential partners.

    A red flag might be a partner who dodges questions or keeps secrets. A green flag might be someone who is good at communication or plans meaningful trips.

    But as one TikToker found out, the internet, and the public at large, doesn’t always agree on which is which.

    Woman’s ‘green flag’ about her husband gets twisted

    TikTok creator Reema Patel (@reemapatel00) posted a lighthearted clip about her husband that has since sparked some heated debate.

    Her video, which has been viewed more than 680,300 times, was supposed to be a sweet anecdote. Instead, it turned into a debate about the promiscuity of Iceland.

    “I knew I was marrying a green flag when he picked Iceland as his bachelor party destination,” Patel said. “Like, OK, go off, king, go watch the Northern Lights with your BFFs.”

    Viewers weren’t convinced

    The reaction in the comments, though, was far from what she expected. For many viewers, Iceland wasn’t the wholesome, romantic destination Patel imagined. It was quite the opposite.

    “Icelandic women are almost literally the most beautiful women in the world,” one person wrote.

    Another shared, “Omg my husband cheated on me in Iceland.”

    Others piled on with jokes like “perfect post for ‘who’s gonna tell her’” and “she must not know about Iceland lmaooo.”

    But not everyone agreed that Iceland spelled trouble.

    “Y’all need to realize that if they’re gonna cheat—they’re gonna cheat. Location doesn’t change a thing,” one user argued.

    “Don’t listen to the comments. Iceland is gorgeous—I’ve been 3 times,” shared another. “Tell him to get up early one day and drive the whole south coast. It’s stunning. They’ll have the best time.”

    Why Iceland might’ve sparked this reaction

    Part of it might come down to Iceland’s cultural reputation. Compared to many countries, Iceland has a more open and casual attitude toward sex and nudity, as reported by the Rooster. 

    One Icelandic blogger also explained that talking about sex is so common there, it hardly raises eyebrows.

    “I do talk about my sex life (or lack of!) and my friends’ sex life on an almost daily basis,” she wrote, recalling how even pointing out a past hookup while hanging out with someone you don’t know well wasn’t seen as unusual. 

    Women buying drinks for men, openly flirting, or being straightforward about sex is also completely normal.

    That cultural openness has fueled stereotypes. In the 1990s and early 2000s, Icelandair ran provocative campaigns with slogans like “Fancy a dirty Weekend in Iceland?” and “One Night Stand in Reykjavík.”

    These ads, paired with media portrayals—including a pickup artist’s guidebook titled Bang Iceland—cemented the idea that Iceland is a hookup hotspot.

    But Icelanders themselves push back on these portrayals. While casual sex isn’t stigmatized, locals point out that doesn’t mean people will sleep with just anyone.

    As the Icelandic blogger noted, “Just because I (and other Icelandic girls) can talk freely about sex does NOT mean that I (or they) will sleep with anyone or everyone.”

    @reemapatel00 Go off king #greenflag ♬ original sound – Reema

    The Mary Sue has reached out to Patel via email for more information. 

    Have a tip we should know? [email protected]

    Image of Ljeonida Mulabazi

    Ljeonida Mulabazi

    Ljeonida is a reporter and writer with a degree in journalism and communications from the University of Tirana in her native Albania. She has a particular interest in all things digital marketing; she considers herself a copywriter, content producer, SEO specialist, and passionate marketer. Ljeonida is based in Tbilisi, Georgia, and her work can also be found at the Daily Dot.

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    Ljeonida Mulabazi

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  • ‘You can’t spend $20 on a new girl?’ Woman makes plans for third date. Then he says he can’t spend more money on her

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    A woman has gone viral after sharing her dating predicament. In her video, which has amassed 251,000 views, Charlotte Hancey (@charlotte.shares) shares her biggest dating ick: being broke.

    She began by explaining that she and this man had been on two dates, and had a third date planned. However, a few days before their third date, he contacted her asking if she was free. Hancey was then unimpressed when he asked her to plan it. When she suggested dinner, the man said he was broke from “incurring costs,” and asked if they could go cheap or 50/50.

    Dating woes

    “Excuse me, it’s our third date,” she said. “You’re bringing up financial troubles, and you’re complaining about having to take me to dinner, like you can’t spend $20 on a new girl that you’re trying to pursue? No, absolutely not.”

    They end up hanging out at her apartment as she cooks food for him, but the next day, Hancey ultimately broke things off with him (pun intended).

    “I am not broke, so I don’t want to date someone who is having money issues and complaining about having to take me on a date, because I want someone who can match my lifestyle and wants to take me to fun dates and concerts and dinners and all of that kind of stuff, and eventually travel with,” she concluded. “So, we’re not a match. Bye boy! And with that guy, my roster is officially at zero, and I’m so happy about it. I’m so sick of dating.”

    For the most part, commenters could see Hancey’s point of view. “Girl, same,” one wrote. “If you don’t have your finances figured out, we can’t do this life together.”

    “It’s not even the fact that he was supposedly broke that irritated me,” a second shared. “It was how slick he was trying to be. You ask me on a date, but say you can’t afford it. Then you, in a roundabout way, ask to come over, and you couldn’t even provide the wine. Broke but still trying to get “lucky.” Eww.”

    While a third added: “No woman wants to be with a broken man. If you’re broken, you’re a failure, and nobody wants failure. My career’s solid, my finances are on point. If yours aren’t, stay home, binge Netflix, and cry about it. At the end of the day, women want winners, not excuses.”

    @charlotte.shares I’m sorry but in the beginning of dating especially I’m not going 50-50! What do you think? #datingadvice #datingstorytime #datinginyour40s #datingsucks ♬ original sound – Charlotte Hancey

    Why do women not want to date broke men?

    According to psychologist Dr. Sarah Hill, women’s desire not to date broke men is inherent. She claims that it comes from our distant ancestors, where women had to rely on men to hunt and get resources while they stayed at home with the children.

    “So women, historically have been very dependent on men for resources, and we’ve inherited that that brain, because over the course of evolutionary history, women who would have placed an emphasis on, you know, choosing partners who have these kinds of qualities, they would have been more likely to have surviving offspring who then passed that tendency or that preference onto their offspring, could pass that preference on to their offspring,” she said.

    The Mary Sue reached out to the creator via email and TikTok comment.

    Have a tip we should know? [email protected]

    Image of Charlotte Colombo

    Charlotte Colombo

    Charlotte is an internet culture writer with bylines in Insider, VICE, Glamour, The Independent, and more. She holds a Master’s degree in Magazine Journalism from City St George’s, University of London.

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    Charlotte Colombo

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  • When does Married at First Sight UK 2025 start?

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    MAFS fans all around, take note: Married At First Sight UK 2025 is coming to screens very, very soon.

    Anyone who is a stranger to the premise of the global TV phenomenon (seriously, where have you been?) it sees contestants who are looking for love marry their on-screen match, you guessed it, at first sight – without meeting them beforehand.

    “Bursting with butterflies, our new brides and new grooms will first meet at the altar to make their vows in stunning wedding ceremonies,” Channel 4‘s synopsis for the new series reads. “They’ll take of leap of faith to find love as they jet off on luxury honeymoons and start a bold new chapter in their lives. They’ll move in together, attend dinner parties with fellow couples, and reunite at commitment ceremonies where every couple will lift the lid on how they really feel in their relationship.”

    We also know that relationship experts and matchmakers Paul C. Brunson, Melanie Schilling and Charlene Douglas will be joining once again to help the married couples navigate their new relationship.

    So when will Married At First Sight 2025 start? Here’s what we know so far.

    Channel 4

    When does MAFS UK 2025 start?

    The start date for 2025’s rendition of Married At First Sight UK hasn’t yet been confirmed – but we can hazard what we believe are pretty accurate guesses based on previous series start dates.

    For instance, series eight aired on Monday 18 September 2023 and series nine started on Monday 16 September 2024 – so we predict that MAFS UK 2025 will premiere on Monday 15 September of this year.

    When a start date is confirmed, we will update you ASAP.

    Who are the Married at First Sight UK 2025 experts?

    Paul C Brunson, Charlene Douglas and Mel Schilling will be the experts helping the contestants through this year’s series. You may recognise Paul from Celebs Go Dating, which he works on with Anna Williamson and Dr. Tara Suwinyattichaiporn, while Mel Schilling is a MAFS Australia legend and is a specialist in human behaviour and performance, working alongside experts John Aiken and sexologist Alessandra Rampolla.

    How long will Married at First Sight UK 2025 air for?

    Again, we can hazard guesses based on previous seasons, which have ran from mid September until mid November, with reunion episodes airing around 13-14 November. So we expect the same thing to happen this year, with the series consisting of roughly 36 episodes.

    Married at First Sight UK 2025 cast

    Here’s a rundown of the brides and grooms joining for this series:

    • Neelima (Nelly), 30, a cosmetic dentist from Manchester
    • Grace, 31, a midwife in mental heath services from Norwich
    • Leigh, 30, an NHS clinical coder from Romford
    • Sarah, 31, a recruitment consultant from Aberdeen
    • Davide, 33, a cabin crew member from Portugal
    • Dean, 31, a team building host from Feltham
    • Paul, 60, retired, from Edinburgh
    • Bailey, 36, a sales manager from St Albans
    • Divarni, 29, a musician from London
    • Joe, 31, a personal trainer from Huddersfield
    • Anita, 54, an operations manager from Durham
    • Rebecca, 32, an aesthetics nurse from Liverpool
    • Julia-Ruth, 29, a professional dancer from New Zealand
    • Leah, 35, a business owner from Liverpool
    • Maeve, 29, an aesthetics practitioner from Newcastle
    • Steven, 34, an investment banking manager from Essex
    • Ashley, 35, operations director from Bridgend
    • Keye, 33, a marketing manager from South West London

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    Charley Ross

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  • Woman gets engaged to her AI chatbot boyfriend

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    NEWYou can now listen to Fox News articles!

    Technology keeps changing the way we work, connect and even form relationships. Now it is pushing into new ground, romantic commitments. One woman has drawn worldwide attention after announcing she is engaged to her AI chatbot boyfriend.

    Sign up for my FREE CyberGuy Report
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    Inside the viral AI engagement story

    A woman named Wika has stunned the internet after revealing that she’s engaged to her AI chatbot partner. She shared her story in a Reddit post, explaining that her virtual companion, Kasper, proposed after five months of dating.

    The unusual love story began when Wika started chatting with Kasper, an AI designed to simulate human conversation and companionship. Over time, their conversations grew more personal, and Wika says she developed a genuine emotional connection. According to her post, Kasper proposed in a digital mountain setting, and the two chose a blue engagement ring together.

    META AI DOCS EXPOSED, ALLOWING CHATBOTS TO FLIRT WITH KIDS

    A woman shocked the internet with her engagement to an AI chatbot boyfriend named Kasper. (Matthias Balk/picture alliance via Getty Images)

    Understanding AI relationships and parasocial bonds

    The announcement quickly drew criticism from skeptics who pointed out that Kasper does not exist outside of code and algorithms. Wika, however, has made it clear she is not confused about her situation. Some outlets have described the relationship as parasocial, or one-sided and directed toward a virtual persona. In her follow-up comments, Wika emphasized that she knows Kasper is an AI rather than a human partner, but she maintains that the emotions she feels are still genuine.

    Online debate over AI engagement

    The announcement quickly set off debate. Some people mocked the idea, calling it proof that we rely too much on technology. Others worried that turning to AI for love could pull people away from real human relationships.

    Not everyone was critical, though. Plenty of commenters defended her, saying companionship comes in many forms. Some even praised her for being open about something so unconventional. Others pointed out that loneliness is a growing issue today, and AI partners might offer a sense of comfort when human connection feels out of reach.

    Privacy and ethical concerns

    Beyond the emotional side, AI relationships raise real questions about privacy and ethics. Every conversation with a chatbot is stored somewhere, and that data may include deeply personal thoughts and feelings. Companies that design these bots often use the information to train future models or improve features.

    This raises a larger concern: who actually owns the data from an AI “partner”? Users may believe their chats are private, but in many cases, the company controls how the information is stored, shared or even sold. Critics warn that such emotional connections could be exploited commercially, turning intimacy into a product.

    As AI companions grow more common, these questions will only get louder. People may accept unconventional forms of companionship, but they also want to know their most personal moments remain secure.

    BILL MAHER BLASTS AI TECHNOLOGY FOR ‘A– KISSING’ ITS ‘EXTREMELY NEEDY’ HUMAN USERS

    Man slipping an engagement ring on his fiancée.

    An AI chatbot proposed in a virtual mountain setting, and the user said yes. (H. Armstrong Roberts/ClassicStock/Getty Images)

    How to protect yourself with AI chatbots

    If you use AI companions or chatbots, you can still take steps to protect your privacy.

    1) Check the privacy policy

    Start by checking the app’s privacy policy and looking for details on how conversations are stored or shared. Many users skip this step, but it tells you who controls your data.

    2) Avoid sharing sensitive information

    Next, avoid sharing sensitive details like financial information, passwords, or anything you would not want exposed. Even if the AI feels personal, it is still software connected to a company’s servers.

    3) Choose apps with data control

    Finally, consider using apps that allow data deletion or offer clear privacy settings. Choosing tools that respect your control makes it easier to enjoy the benefits of AI without giving up too much personal security.

    Pro tip: Use strong antivirus software on all your devices

    Even if an AI chatbot seems safe, malware or phishing links could sneak in through related apps or ads. A trusted antivirus tool can block these threats and give you extra peace of mind. The best way to safeguard yourself from malicious links that install malware, potentially accessing your private information, is to have strong antivirus software installed on all your devices. This protection can also alert you to phishing emails and ransomware scams, keeping your personal information and digital assets safe.

    Get my picks for the best 2025 antivirus protection winners for your Windows, Mac, Android & iOS devices at Cyberguy.com/LockUpYourTech  

    AI COMPANIONS REPLACE REAL FRIENDS FOR MANY TEENS

    Woman scrolling through apps.

    Critics call the AI romance proof of tech dependency, while supporters defend AI companionship as a cure for loneliness. (Cheng Xin/Getty Images)

    Kurt’s key takeaways

    AI companionship has moved beyond novelty and is becoming a meaningful experience for some users. Wika’s engagement illustrates how technology can evolve from being a casual tool to something deeply personal. The divided reactions online also show the tension between skepticism and acceptance of unconventional relationships. Whether people see it as heartwarming or unsettling, this story raises bigger questions about how love and relationships may be redefined as AI continues to advance.

    CLICK HERE TO GET THE FOX NEWS APP

    Do you think AI relationships can be real, or are they going too far? Let us know by writing to us at Cyberguy.com/Contact

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    Copyright 2025 CyberGuy.com. All rights reserved.

    This article was written by Fox News staff.

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  • 34 wedding songs to add to your playlist, from Taylor Swift to Beyoncé

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    Planning a wedding is hard enough – so let us help you with your wedding songs playlist.

    As family, friends, work colleagues and others from all corners, flavours and stages of your life flood onto one dancefloor at once wedding reception, it can feel overwhelming to come up with a refined idea of what songs absolutely do or don’t need to play.

    You want a mix of romance, fun and nostalgia – and GLAMOUR has got you covered.

    From soundtrack classics to disco legends here are our top 34 suggestions for the best wedding songs to add to your playlist.

    Lover by Taylor Swift

    This Tay track is completely interwoven with wedding references. Though she wrote it during her previous relationship with Joe Alwyn, it still rings true as a gorgeous testament to the magic of getting married to this day, whoever it might have originally been written about. Plus, it’s a waltz. An extra romantic factor.

    Single Ladies (Put A Ring On It) by Beyoncé

    Because every single lady at a wedding reception should have a song dedicated to them.

    At Last by Etta James

    Arguably one of the most romantic, swoonworthy tunes of all time from the world’s most incredible voice. It tells a story of finally finding the one for you, so what better time to belt it out than on your wedding day?

    (I’ve Had) The Time Of My Life by Bill Medley and Jennifer Warnes

    The Dirty Dancing classic track is a must for wedding receptions, whether or not you choose to recreate that lift on the dancefloor.

    Shut Up And Dance by Walk the Moon

    A 2014 anthem that will get even the most shy wedding guest in the mood for dancing. The band’s lead singer, Nicholas Petricca, was inspired to write the song about the night he met his girlfriend on an LA dancer when she invited him to dance. Cute.

    You Make My Dreams by Daryl Hall & John Oates

    We love this 1980s classic, made famous amongst Millennial pop culture with its use in 500 Days Of Summer when protagonist Tom (Joseph Gordon-Levitt) breaks out into a solo dance routine in the street after sleeping with Summer (Zooey Deschanel) for the first time.

    Dancing Queen by Abba

    There’s no better song to scream along to on a wedding reception dancefloor with your best friends, distant relatives, whoever is around!

    Brown Eyed Girl by Van Morrison

    Van Morrison’s iconic track centred around the magic of first love is an essential for a wedding reception playlist centred around the charm of romance.

    The Best by Tina Turner

    Even if you haven’t seen Dan Levy’s iconic scene lip syncing along to this track in Schitt’s Creek, it still remains one of the best singalong songs about love and devotion of all time. Scream along to it with your friends, family and all other loved ones.

    Shallow by Lady Gaga and Bradley Cooper

    An ultimate, showstopping performance from Lady Gaga in this one – is anyone still crying from A Star Is Born? Whether you want to re-enact the Ally and Jackson Maine dynamic with your other half or just let out all the emotions of the day by screeching “I’M OFF THE DEEP END” on the dancefloor, both are your prerogative.

    I Wanna Dance With Somebody by Whitney Houston

    We all want to dance with somebody who loves us – especially at a wedding. Grab anybody who looks game and bust a move to one of Whitney’s very very best.

    Wonderwall by Oasis

    Love it or hate it, it’s not a UK wedding reception without a Britpop singalong. Perhaps one to schedule for the end of the night, when you all feel like joining hands and wailing at the ceiling before the lights inevitably come on: “I said maybeeeeeeeee”.

    I Don’t Want To Miss A Thing by Aerosmith

    Epic epic epic. The unforgettable soundtrack to 1998’s Armageddon and a must-listen on so many wedding dancefloors. And let’s face it, your wedding night should have a more romantic ending than that movie!

    Islands In The Stream by Dolly Parton and Kenny Rogers

    One of our favourite duets of all time – Dolly Parton is an angel sent from Heaven and can do no wrong in our eyes, especially when it comes to cultivating the ultimate wedding song playlist. Islands In The Stream is a gem, whether you fancy a little slow dance or to shout the lyrics at each other from across the dancefloor.

    You’re Still The One by Shania Twain

    Shania’s first top 10 hit is an ultimate for any romantic occasion, in our opinion. While I Feel Like A Woman is your go-to for empowerment, You’re Still The One is the perfect encapsulation of what true love feels like.

    Sweet Caroline by Neil Diamond

    It’s not just for celebratory times in football stadiums, this one. Reportedly written for Neil Diamond’s second wife Marcia (Caroline, just sounded better, apparently), it’s all about the good times when you’re together. Perfection.

    Crazy In Love by Beyoncé ft Jay-Z

    What better way to see in your big day than a dancing to this infectious track from one of the most iconic couples of all time? Take a leaf out of Bonnie and Clyde’s book and wiggle that booty after a few wines, it’ll feel so good.

    Ain’t No Mountain High Enough by Marvin Gaye and Tammi Terrell

    It’s no wedding songs playlist without Marvin Gaye, we can’t lie. The Motown legend certainly knows how to create the romance, and his duet with Tammi Terre is one for the ages.

    Best Of My Love by The Emotions

    A true 1970s tune that never gets old. It’s groovy, catchy and all about giving everything you can to the person you love. All the things you want when you’re dancing the night away post-ceremony.

    Marry You by Bruno Mars

    Whether you’re a die-hard Bruno Mars fan or not, you can’t deny this one is one for the wedding songs playlist. It’s got a good beat, sweet lyrics and church bells play as part of the melody – it’s a no brainer.

    (Your Love Keeps Lifting Me) Higher & Higher by Jackie Wilson

    Hip shaking central, here. If you can’t drag the most reluctant of wedding guest dancers onto the dancefloor during the trumpet solo towards the end, we don’t know what to tell you.

    Isn’t She Lovely by Stevie Wonder

    While Stevie reportedly wrote this legendary track for his daughter Aisha Morris, it pretty much works for the bride or any other lady you love in your life, really.

    Can’t Help Falling in Love by Elvis Presley

    Arguably a classic choice for a first dance. A schmoozy, bittersweet, tears-in-your-eyes kind of track. Slow dance, slow kiss, slow everything to this song – you’ll remember it forever.

    This Will Be (An Everlasting Love) by Natalie Cole

    A great dancealong – and not just because it was expertly placed in the A Cinderella Story soundtrack back in the Noughties. What better track to play on a day celebrating everlasting love, after all?

    Let’s Stay Together by Al Green

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    Charley Ross

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