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  • Even Introverts Need Community

    Even Introverts Need Community

    As an adult, I crave alone time. The funny thing is, I didn’t really think that alone time was something I would struggle to find, until one day, I woke up, a married woman with two kids and three dogs, and realized that I am never ever alone. While some people are afraid to be alone, I’m actually more afraid of the thought of never getting to be alone again. 

    Months often go by when I don’t hang out with friends. It’s not really a planned or intentional thing; I just really enjoy my alone time and protect it a lot. 

    If you’re an introvert, I probably don’t even need to explain myself. You get it. There’s definitely a tug between spending quality time with the people you love and finding enough solitude that you are fully present when you are with them.

    Over the years, I’ve learned to carefully navigate the boundaries of the soul care I need by making sure I get adequate alone time, giving just enough of myself so my family and friends don’t feel neglected. The one area that I’ve struggled to progress in is that of community. I’ve always had a take-it-or-leave-it mentality when it comes to anything that appears like community; that is until recently, when I had my first real, life-giving community experience.

    Even Introverts Need Community

    Even introverts need community, and let me tell you why. God made us for community. He tells us to gather with other believers to help and serve each other and to encourage each other. God created Eve so that Adam wouldn’t be alone. Jesus had His disciples. All throughout the Bible, we read story upon story of people with other people. 

    Think about it—if God didn’t intend for us to be in community with others, there would be no need to bring us together as one body (the Church), and all the passages in the New Testament that tell us how to treat others would be pointless. However, community is important to God, and, as an introvert, I must continually remind myself of all the reasons why I need community. 

    Find a Community That’s Life-Giving

    If you’re an introvert, you might disagree that community is necessary. So let me rephrase it—introverts need the right community, one that is life-giving, not life-sucking. Just one year ago, I didn’t feel such a strong need for community, but last December, I traveled across the country to attend a retreat with over 100 other like-minded women. Not only am I an introvert, but I have always struggled to fit in with other women. So you can imagine the anxiety I felt as I walked into the room on the first day. I even woke up early that morning to mentally prepare myself. 

    However, during this two-day retreat, I felt a bond and comfort that I had never felt before with such a large group of women. For the first time in my life, I was able to just be myself and felt comfortable talking to strangers. Ever since then, I have craved more of this kind of experience. Until you have experienced the kind of community that feeds your soul, you can’t understand what it’s like to be part of a community where even the most introverted person can thrive. 

    If You Can’t Find Your Community, Cultivate One

    After this experience, I found myself looking for a community that could replicate what I felt in those two days. In the days after the retreat, I realized that a community like that is rare and might be nearly impossible to find. I came to the conclusion that I would need to cultivate a community on my own. I would need to find like-minded people to do life with, who are rooted and grounded in love, who will sharpen each other, and who are committed to seeing each other thrive and grow in their faith and spiritual gifts.

    Based on my experience in a life-giving community, I determined the qualities that my perfectly cultivated community should possess:

    God’s Presence Should Be Felt

    The best example of the feeling of God’s presence is a Sunday morning worship service. The feeling in a room full of people whose hearts are tuned into God is electric. 

    When you are fully engaged in a community of like-minded people, God’s presence is fully known, even when the worship music isn’t playing. A room full of Kingdom-minded people is a force to be reckoned with. There is absolutely nothing that can keep us from achieving our goals together in unity when we have God by our side. 

    “For where two or three are gathered in my name, there am I among them.” Matthew 18:20 (ESV)

    Each Person Can Fulfill Their Calling

    The great thing about a community is that each member possesses unique skills and talents that benefit everyone else. Just like in a town where many people have different but necessary occupations (doctor, plumber, carpenter, teacher, etc.), a church has many different but necessary parts as well. 

    A life-giving community equips and empowers each individual to utilize their spiritual gifts. Each person should have the opportunity to contribute according to what God has called them to do. No one should ever feel left out or useless.

    “For as in one body we have many members, and the members do not all have the same function, so we, though many, are one body in Christ, and individually members one of another.” Romans 12:4-5 (ESV)

    Service Should Be Vital

    Recently, my church put on a huge community service event where we took on multiple projects in the city. I was on the high school campus cleanup crew. It’s amazing how quickly 20 people can repaint the exterior walls of a classroom building when each one of us jumps in and takes on a specific task. 

    The desire for our church to serve our hometown community allowed us to be the hands and feet of Jesus and to show the students and teachers of that school what the love of Jesus is. 

    A life-giving community not only encourages and promotes service but actively engages in it as a whole. When we serve together, we get to experience the overflowing abundance of God’s love and see its full effect on those around us.

    “For even the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.” Mark 10:45 (ESV)

    Solitude Has Its Time and Place

    While community is necessary to grow in our faith and to keep God’s commandments, take heart, my introverted friends! There is still a time and place to feed our solitude-loving souls. 

    Even though Jesus is known for His way with people—how He loved them, showed them compassion, and ministered to them—the Bible also emphasizes His need to be alone. 

    He spent most of His waking hours healing the sick, preaching, baptizing, and dining with sinners. The thought of this exhausts me. No wonder, after a long day, He could be found up in the mountains alone.

    “And after he had dismissed the crowds, he went up on the mountain by himself to pray. When evening came, he was there alone.” Matthew 14:23 (ESV)

    Not only did He find solitude at the end of a long day, but He would also wake up early for quiet time. This is another great practice that I can rarely function without. If I miss my early morning quiet time, I feel ill-equipped for the day. 

    “And rising very early in the morning, while it was still dark, he departed and went out to a desolate place, and there he prayed.” Mark 1:35 (ESV)

    Starting and ending each day in quiet, away from others, and in prayer provides us with the energy and refreshment needed to continue to engage in community. 

    Pro Tip for When You Can’t Get Away

    If you feel overwhelmed and need to be alone but cannot get away, learn how to retreat inside of yourself by way of the Holy Spirit. If you can learn this one simple “trick,” you can find solitude in the loudest and most crowded places. Seek solace in God and He will give you the inner peace that you need. 

    “You are a hiding place for me; you preserve me from trouble; you surround me with shouts of deliverance. Selah.” Psalm 32:7 (ESV)

    Sometimes, if the tension is high, and I really need to be alone, I can become irritable and easily agitated. The last thing that I want to do is act in a manner that is less than pleasant. Learning how to retreat into a safe, quiet place within my soul keeps me out of trouble. I have learned to take deep breaths, pray silently to God to help me be patient, and be silent so I don’t say something that I’ll later regret.

    Be encouraged, my friend. Being introverted isn’t a curse. If anything, I see it as a blessing. I find just as much joy in being alone as I do in being part of a life-giving, Kingdom-minded community. I encourage you to give it a try and see how even introverts can thrive in the right kind of community.

    Photo Credit: ©Getty Images/LeoPatrizi

    Jennifer Jabbour resides in the scenic San Diego countryside with her husband, adult son, and teen daughter, and their hilarious English Bulldog. Jennifer has a B.A. in Integrated Business Communications, and is a Go + Tell Gals licensed life coach. Jennifer hopes to use her calling of writing, coaching, and speaking to equip and empower women to clarify their vision and to boldly step forward in response to God’s calling on their life, as well as educate and encourage others to experience the abundance of God’s goodness when they seek Him first in all that they do. Jennifer is also a brown belt in Brazilian Jiu Jitsu, a photographer, and an avid outdoors-woman. She loves camping, hiking, running, and playing the piano in her free time.

    You can keep up with Jennifer on her website https://www.jenniferjabbour.com.

    Jen Jabbour

    Source link

  • Even Introverts Need Community

    Even Introverts Need Community

    As an adult, I crave alone time. The funny thing is, I didn’t really think that alone time was something I would struggle to find, until one day, I woke up, a married woman with two kids and three dogs, and realized that I am never ever alone. While some people are afraid to be alone, I’m actually more afraid of the thought of never getting to be alone again. 

    Months often go by when I don’t hang out with friends. It’s not really a planned or intentional thing; I just really enjoy my alone time and protect it a lot. 

    If you’re an introvert, I probably don’t even need to explain myself. You get it. There’s definitely a tug between spending quality time with the people you love and finding enough solitude that you are fully present when you are with them.

    Over the years, I’ve learned to carefully navigate the boundaries of the soul care I need by making sure I get adequate alone time, giving just enough of myself so my family and friends don’t feel neglected. The one area that I’ve struggled to progress in is that of community. I’ve always had a take-it-or-leave-it mentality when it comes to anything that appears like community; that is until recently, when I had my first real, life-giving community experience.

    Even Introverts Need Community

    Even introverts need community, and let me tell you why. God made us for community. He tells us to gather with other believers to help and serve each other and to encourage each other. God created Eve so that Adam wouldn’t be alone. Jesus had His disciples. All throughout the Bible, we read story upon story of people with other people. 

    Think about it—if God didn’t intend for us to be in community with others, there would be no need to bring us together as one body (the Church), and all the passages in the New Testament that tell us how to treat others would be pointless. However, community is important to God, and, as an introvert, I must continually remind myself of all the reasons why I need community. 

    Find a Community That’s Life-Giving

    If you’re an introvert, you might disagree that community is necessary. So let me rephrase it—introverts need the right community, one that is life-giving, not life-sucking. Just one year ago, I didn’t feel such a strong need for community, but last December, I traveled across the country to attend a retreat with over 100 other like-minded women. Not only am I an introvert, but I have always struggled to fit in with other women. So you can imagine the anxiety I felt as I walked into the room on the first day. I even woke up early that morning to mentally prepare myself. 

    However, during this two-day retreat, I felt a bond and comfort that I had never felt before with such a large group of women. For the first time in my life, I was able to just be myself and felt comfortable talking to strangers. Ever since then, I have craved more of this kind of experience. Until you have experienced the kind of community that feeds your soul, you can’t understand what it’s like to be part of a community where even the most introverted person can thrive. 

    If You Can’t Find Your Community, Cultivate One

    After this experience, I found myself looking for a community that could replicate what I felt in those two days. In the days after the retreat, I realized that a community like that is rare and might be nearly impossible to find. I came to the conclusion that I would need to cultivate a community on my own. I would need to find like-minded people to do life with, who are rooted and grounded in love, who will sharpen each other, and who are committed to seeing each other thrive and grow in their faith and spiritual gifts.

    Based on my experience in a life-giving community, I determined the qualities that my perfectly cultivated community should possess:

    God’s Presence Should Be Felt

    The best example of the feeling of God’s presence is a Sunday morning worship service. The feeling in a room full of people whose hearts are tuned into God is electric. 

    When you are fully engaged in a community of like-minded people, God’s presence is fully known, even when the worship music isn’t playing. A room full of Kingdom-minded people is a force to be reckoned with. There is absolutely nothing that can keep us from achieving our goals together in unity when we have God by our side. 

    “For where two or three are gathered in my name, there am I among them.” Matthew 18:20 (ESV)

    Each Person Can Fulfill Their Calling

    The great thing about a community is that each member possesses unique skills and talents that benefit everyone else. Just like in a town where many people have different but necessary occupations (doctor, plumber, carpenter, teacher, etc.), a church has many different but necessary parts as well. 

    A life-giving community equips and empowers each individual to utilize their spiritual gifts. Each person should have the opportunity to contribute according to what God has called them to do. No one should ever feel left out or useless.

    “For as in one body we have many members, and the members do not all have the same function, so we, though many, are one body in Christ, and individually members one of another.” Romans 12:4-5 (ESV)

    Service Should Be Vital

    Recently, my church put on a huge community service event where we took on multiple projects in the city. I was on the high school campus cleanup crew. It’s amazing how quickly 20 people can repaint the exterior walls of a classroom building when each one of us jumps in and takes on a specific task. 

    The desire for our church to serve our hometown community allowed us to be the hands and feet of Jesus and to show the students and teachers of that school what the love of Jesus is. 

    A life-giving community not only encourages and promotes service but actively engages in it as a whole. When we serve together, we get to experience the overflowing abundance of God’s love and see its full effect on those around us.

    “For even the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.” Mark 10:45 (ESV)

    Solitude Has Its Time and Place

    While community is necessary to grow in our faith and to keep God’s commandments, take heart, my introverted friends! There is still a time and place to feed our solitude-loving souls. 

    Even though Jesus is known for His way with people—how He loved them, showed them compassion, and ministered to them—the Bible also emphasizes His need to be alone. 

    He spent most of His waking hours healing the sick, preaching, baptizing, and dining with sinners. The thought of this exhausts me. No wonder, after a long day, He could be found up in the mountains alone.

    “And after he had dismissed the crowds, he went up on the mountain by himself to pray. When evening came, he was there alone.” Matthew 14:23 (ESV)

    Not only did He find solitude at the end of a long day, but He would also wake up early for quiet time. This is another great practice that I can rarely function without. If I miss my early morning quiet time, I feel ill-equipped for the day. 

    “And rising very early in the morning, while it was still dark, he departed and went out to a desolate place, and there he prayed.” Mark 1:35 (ESV)

    Starting and ending each day in quiet, away from others, and in prayer provides us with the energy and refreshment needed to continue to engage in community. 

    Pro Tip for When You Can’t Get Away

    If you feel overwhelmed and need to be alone but cannot get away, learn how to retreat inside of yourself by way of the Holy Spirit. If you can learn this one simple “trick,” you can find solitude in the loudest and most crowded places. Seek solace in God and He will give you the inner peace that you need. 

    “You are a hiding place for me; you preserve me from trouble; you surround me with shouts of deliverance. Selah.” Psalm 32:7 (ESV)

    Sometimes, if the tension is high, and I really need to be alone, I can become irritable and easily agitated. The last thing that I want to do is act in a manner that is less than pleasant. Learning how to retreat into a safe, quiet place within my soul keeps me out of trouble. I have learned to take deep breaths, pray silently to God to help me be patient, and be silent so I don’t say something that I’ll later regret.

    Be encouraged, my friend. Being introverted isn’t a curse. If anything, I see it as a blessing. I find just as much joy in being alone as I do in being part of a life-giving, Kingdom-minded community. I encourage you to give it a try and see how even introverts can thrive in the right kind of community.

    Photo Credit: ©Getty Images/LeoPatrizi

    Jennifer Jabbour resides in the scenic San Diego countryside with her husband, adult son, and teen daughter, and their hilarious English Bulldog. Jennifer has a B.A. in Integrated Business Communications, and is a Go + Tell Gals licensed life coach. Jennifer hopes to use her calling of writing, coaching, and speaking to equip and empower women to clarify their vision and to boldly step forward in response to God’s calling on their life, as well as educate and encourage others to experience the abundance of God’s goodness when they seek Him first in all that they do. Jennifer is also a brown belt in Brazilian Jiu Jitsu, a photographer, and an avid outdoors-woman. She loves camping, hiking, running, and playing the piano in her free time.

    You can keep up with Jennifer on her website https://www.jenniferjabbour.com.

    Jen Jabbour

    Source link

  • FRESH BLACKBERRY PIE

    FRESH BLACKBERRY PIE

    If you love blackberry desserts you must give this delicious blackberry pie a try! It’s a wonderful summer staple and a great addition to any gathering.

    Fresh Blackberry PieFresh Blackberry Pie

    If you have followed our site for any amount of time you know we love this Deep Dish Blackberry Cobbler. It’s been a family favorite and past down 2 generations.

    ❤️WHY WE LOVE THIS RECIPE

    We love blackberry desserts and this pie is no exception! It’s a delicious summer favorite and one your family will love too. Not a lot of ingredients, made with two crusts and wonderful topped with ice cream.

    🍴KEY INGREDIENTS

    • 2 Pie Shells
    • Blackberries
    • Sugar
    • Vanilla Extract
    • Cinnamon
    • Flour
    • Butter
    • Brown Sugar
    • Milk

    🍽️HOW TO MAKE

    We made our own pie crust when we made this pie, but you can easily use store bought. We prefer Pillsbury and you can roll those out and would be fine for this pie.

    Step 1
    Place bottom crust in your pie place. (Tip: I spray my pie plate with cooking spray before I add the crust. I think this makes the pie come out of the pan easier). Prick bottom crust with fork.  

    Step 2
    Mix all ingredients except butter,  milk and brown sugar in a large bowl with a spoon.  Pour into pie shell.  Cut butter in pieces on top of filling.  Place second pie shell on top and cut slits for steam to escape.  

    Step 3
    Very lightly brush just a tiny bit of milk on top of the shell and sprinkle with 1 teaspoon of brown sugar. 

    Step 4
    Bake in preheated 425 degree oven for 15 minutes.  Reduce heat to 375 degrees and cook 20-25 more minutes until pie is brown on top. Let  cool before cutting. 

    Fresh Blackberry PieFresh Blackberry Pie

    OTHER BLACKBERRY DESSERTS

    We are a huge fan of blackberry desserts and have quite a few on our website. You can always use the search box to look for all of them, but here are a few of our favorites!

    STORING, REHEATING & SERVING SIZE

    We store this pie in the refrigerator, and reheat a slice in the microwave but it’s just as good cold! Makes one pie so about 6-8 slices depending on size.

    Fresh Blackberry Pie

    Leigh Walkup

    This Blackberry Pie is a dessert your family will love. Perfect on a hot summer day topped with ice cream. Made with two pie crusts and so good!

    Prep Time 10 minutes

    Cook Time 15 minutes

    Reduce Heat 20 minutes

    Total Time 45 minutes

    Course Dessert, Pie

    Cuisine American, southern

    • 2 9 inch pie shells, unbaked (You can make them yourself or use bought. I used Pillsbury frozen pie shells.)
    • 4 1/2 cups fresh blackberries
    • 3/4 cup sugar
    • 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
    • 1/2 teaspoon cinnamon
    • 1/2 cup all-purpose flour
    • 3 tablespoons butter or margarine
    • Milk and 1 teaspoon brown sugar for top of crust Optional

    • Place bottom crust in your pie place. (Tip: I spray my pie plate with cooking spray before I add the crust. I think this makes the pie come out of the pan easier). Prick bottom crust with fork. Mix all ingredients except butter, milk and brown sugar in a large bowl with a spoon. Pour into pie shell. Cut butter in pieces on top of filling.

    • Place second pie shell on top and cut slits for steam to escape. Very lightly brush just a tiny bit of milk on top of the shell and sprinkle with 1 teaspoon of brown sugar. Bake in preheated 425 degree oven for 15 minutes. Reduce heat to 375 degrees and cook 20-25 more minutes until pie is brown on top. Let cool before cutting.

     I think you could use frozen blackberries in this recipe, too.

    Keyword Fresh Blackberry Pie

    Let us know by commenting below!

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    © The Southern Lady Cooks photos and text – All rights reserved. No copying, posting on other sites, or other uses allowed without written permission of the copyright holder.

    Leigh Walkup

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  • Marijuana Milk Is A Creamy Weekend Treat

    Marijuana Milk Is A Creamy Weekend Treat

    Weekends are made for indulgences – and what could be better than marijuana milk?

    Weekends are made for indulgences – donughts, sleeping in, relaxing and maybe a bit of chilling.  But what about marrying a childhood treat and relaxing with a little marijuana?  Or having a little canna-focus when you get ready for the day? Around 42% of adults aged 19–70 years drink some form of milk – in coffee, in cereal, in a glass or in a variety of other ways. Marijuana milk is a creamy weekend treat.

    RELATED: The Most Popular Marijuana Flavors

    Today there are 52 types of milk including the original – cow’s milk…the others include goat, soy, oat, white, coconut, almond and more.  This recipe is perfect to use in coffee, in a dessert, in a cold glass, or dunking your favorite cookie…add honey or vanilla to give it a sweeter flavor and just has it as a treat.

    Photos by Jessie Moore

    Canna-Milk

    Makes about ¾ cup (the milk reduces slightly during cooking)

    • 1 cup milk (your choice of type of milk)
    • About 3 grams marijuana (see recipe notes, below)

    * This recipe can be scaled up or down using the same ratios

    1. Decarboxylate the marijuana. Scatter the marijuana on a lined, rimmed baking sheet; toast at 240 degrees F for 30-40 minutes, turning a few times throughout the baking. Remove from the oven, let cool completely, and then grind it finely. You can also grind it before, but I find that it’s easier to grind after this heating process as it is drier.

    Photo by Jessie Moore

    2. Pour the milk into a saucepan. Add the marijuana. It will float at first, but as it warms it will become more combined. Place the saucepan over medium heat, and bring the mixture to a simmer, stirring occasionally to discourage scorching on the bottom of the pot.

    RELATED: 5 Ways To Utilize Leftover Marijuana Pulp From Cannabutter 

    3. Once the mixture comes to a simmer (with bubbles around the edges and steam coming off the mixture, but not boiling), reduce the heat to the lowest setting. Cook, uncovered, for 30-45 minutes, stirring every few minutes and making sure that the mixture isn’t getting so hot that it scorches the bottom of the pan, and that it isn’t forming a “skin” on top (if it does, just break it up and stir it around) If it seems like the milk is reducing a lot, add ¼ cup more. The mixture will thicken slightly as it cooks; it will also begin to take on a slightly greenish-yellow tint.

    Photo by Jessie Moore

    4. Remove from heat and let the mixture cool completely (I let it cool with the marijuana still in the mixture; extra infusing couldn’t hurt, right?). Strain through a mesh strainer or cheesecloth into your storage container. Place in the fridge, and enjoy as you see fit.

    Photo by Jessie Moore

    Recipe notes:

    Dosage: dosing your marijuana milk can be tricky because of the differing strengths of strains and your personal tolerance. I personally found that about 3 grams per cup of milk was a good amount. For me, each “serving” was about ¼ cup. So, each serving had about 1 gram of marijuana, which for me is a little more than the average joint. If the average joint is far larger or smaller for you, you can adjust this recipe accordingly.

    RELATED: How To: Make Your Marijuana Edibles Taste Less Like Weed 

    Dilution: The milk will reduce during the cooking process. You can either add more milk during the cooking process if it is losing a lot of volume, or you can mix a little milk in after your batch of cannamilk has cooled, so that it will bring it back to the original amount of liquid.

    Storage: Store your canna-milk as you would store regular milk, in a sealed container in the fridge. Keep in mind, the expiration date on your milk is still going to be the expiration date for your canna-milk, so consume with that in mind!

    Serving suggestions

    How should you use your canna-milk? Here are just a few ideas:

    * Mix it into some mac & cheese

    * Stir it in your coffee or tea

    * Add it to cake frostings or fillings

    * Make your morning cereal better

     

    Jessie Moore

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  • CRISPY BAKED CHICKEN THIGHS-THE SOUTHERN LADY COOKS

    CRISPY BAKED CHICKEN THIGHS-THE SOUTHERN LADY COOKS

    This simple recipe for baked chicken thighs is one you will make over and over. Super versatile and delicious.

    Crispy Baked Chicken ThighsCrispy Baked Chicken Thighs

    If you are a fan of easy chicken recipes, you will also love our French Onion Chicken Thighs. It’s one of our most popular recipes and has wonderful reviews.

    ❤️WHY WE LOVE THIS RECIPE

    This is a simple recipe, perfect for busy nights. The spices really bring out a great flavor and the thighs are so tender they fall off the bone! My family loves this recipe and it goes great with so many side dishes. You could also add these spices to chicken breasts too.

    🍴KEY INGREDIENTS

    • Bone-in chicken thighs
    • Onion salt
    • Garlic salt
    • Chili pepper
    • Cumin
    • Black pepper
    • Paprika

    SWAPS

    You can switch out the spices and we often use smoked paprika! It’s one of our favorite spices. You can also use chicken legs, breasts or even use theses spices on a turkey breast. Great combination.

    🍽️HOW TO MAKE

    These crispy baked chicken thighs are so easy and takes no prep, which is always a plus with any recipe!

    Step 1
    Preheat oven to 350 degrees, line baking sheet with foil and spray with cooking spray.

    Step 2
    Add all spices to a small container with a lid and shake until thoroughly mixed together. Sprinkle mixture over chicken thighs.

    Step 3
    Bake until thighs are crispy, it took about 1 hour. You can always test it with a thermometer inserted near the bone, it should read 165 degrees.

    Crispy Baked Chicken ThighsCrispy Baked Chicken Thighs

    ⭐TIP

    Let the chicken thighs rest at least 5 minutes after removing them from the oven to keep them nice and juicy.

    SERVE THIS WITH

    As the photo shows, we made our Bow-Tie Pasta Salad to serve with these delicious chicken thighs.

    • Amish Pasta Salad – This is our most popular pasta salad for a reason! If you haven’t tried it, you definitely need to!
    • Cowboy Caviar Pasta Salad – If you are a fan of the dip cowboy caviar you will love the taste of this delicious salad.
    • Macaroni Coleslaw Salad – This salad is amazing, it combines coleslaw and macaroni and it’s always a hit!
    • Bacon Ranch Chopped Salad – This salad has so many wonderful ingredients and would be great with these chicken thighs.

    Crispy Baked Chicken Thighs

    Anne Walkup

    These Crispy Baked Chicken Thighs are so easy to make, only a few ingredients and are delicious! Great for a busy night and wonderful with a pasta salad.

    Prep Time 5 minutes

    Cook Time 1 hour

    Total Time 1 hour 5 minutes

    Course Main Course

    Cuisine American

    • 8 bone-in chicken thighs
    • 1/4 teaspoon onion salt
    • 1/4 teaspoon garlic salt
    • 1/4 teaspoon chili pepper
    • 1/4 teaspoon cumin
    • 1/4 teaspoon black pepper
    • 1/4 teaspoon paprika

    • Preheat oven to 350 degrees, line baking sheet with foil and spray with cooking spray.

    • Add all spices to a small container with a lid and shake until thoroughly mixed together. Sprinkle mixture over chicken thighs.

    • Bake until thighs are crispy, it took about 1 hour. You can always test it with a thermometer inserted near the bone, it should read 165 degrees.

    Keyword Crispy Baked Chicken Thighs

    Let us know by commenting below!

    Follow us on Pinterest!

    Are you reading our magazine?

    Join 1000’s of others and start a subscription today. Full of new recipes, inspiring stories, country living, and much more.

    © The Southern Lady Cooks photos and text – All rights reserved. No copying, posting on other sites, or other uses allowed without written permission of the copyright holder.

    Anne Walkup

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  • 25 Practical Ways You Can Show Your Grandchildren You Love Them

    25 Practical Ways You Can Show Your Grandchildren You Love Them

    One of the best things in an older person’s life is their grandchildren. I know so many people who are grandparents and are over the moon about their grandchildren. They like to spend as much time as possible with them and miss them if they live far away or aren’t around as much. Of course, they love spoiling them; what grandparent doesn’t? Still, there are some practical ways you can show your grands that you love them. Here are some ideas to show your love.

    1. Spend Quality Time with Them

    Spend some quality time with your grandchildren. By quality time, I mean doing something together where you interact and can have conversations. Make sure it’s something you both enjoy, like going on a hike, doing a craft, or making a favorite dessert.

    2. Write a Letter from the Heart

    In this world of technology, sending your grandchildren a quick email or text is easy. Still, it isn’t the most personal way to connect. Instead, sit down and take some time to write a heartfelt letter to your grandchildren. You can do this for a group and express your heartfelt love for all of them, or you can write each of them a letter individually to let them know how special they are and how much you love them. You can share your favorite memories with them, what you hope for them in the future, and your favorite qualities that they have. Your letter will become a cherished keepsake.

    3. Make a Cookbook Together

    Photo credit: GettyImages/jacoblund

    Sit down and compile a cookbook together with your favorite family recipes. To make it even more special, hire someone to create a professional cover and format the interior. Then, upload it to Amazon and have it printed without publishing it. That way, you can print copies for friends and family without it being on sale to the public.

    4. Make a Personalized Storybook

    Sit down and write a story with your grandchildren about them and how special your bond is. Have them create the illustrations. Once again, to make it even more special, hire someone to create a professional cover for it and format the interior. Then, set up an Amazon KDP account and decide whether you want to publish it or not.

    5. Plan a Special Date

    Set up a day to go out, just you and your grandchildren. This could be a trip to the zoo, the children’s museum, or even an amusement park or shopping complex. This will show them how much you love spending quality time with them.

    6. Pray for Them

    There is nothing more powerful than praying for your grandkids. Ask the Lord to help them, guide them, and guard them.

    7. Pray with Them

    Praying with them about things that are bothering them is another priceless way that you can show them you love them.

    8. Cook Their Favorite Meals

    Making their favorite meals is also a great way to show your love. Many times, there are dishes our grandmothers make that are hard to duplicate. We try to, but it’s not quite the same. For me, it’s my grandmother’s buttermilk cookies. Food brings us together and is a great way to show your love.

    9. Plan a Treasure Hunt

    Design a treasure hunt according to your grandchildren’s interests. You can do this in your backyard or even in your home if it’s raining.

    10. Send a Care Package

    Do your grandchildren live far away, or are they at college or even in the military? Then, send them a care package with some of their favorite things and some handwritten notes. This will brighten their day and make them feel even more connected to you.

    11. Make a Memory Book

    Gather your favorite memories via photo and use a site like Shutterfly to make a book. My best friend did this for me and my husband after our wedding. Your grandkids will love being able to look back at all the memories they have made with you and will cherish the book forever.

    12. Have a Movie Night

    Have a movie night with your grandkids and snuggle up together with blankets and their favorite snacks. They will love spending time with you.

    13. Actively Listen

    When you are talking with your grandkids, actively listen to them and ask questions to let them know you hear them and are paying attention.

    14. Teach Them How to Do Something

    If you know a skill, trade, or have a favorite hobby, share that with your grandchildren. Teach them how to bake, change the oil in a car, and how to change a tire, or build something, for example. They will appreciate it later on in life.

    senior man teaching young boy how to play guitar in retirement

    Photo credit: ©GettyImages/Zinkevych

    15. Share Things with Them Every Day

    Share something fun with your grandkids every day. Send them a funny meme, share an article about something they like, or tell them about your day.

    16. Have a Grandparent/Grandkids Camp

    Take a week in the summer and have your kids stay with you for “camp.” Plan the activities and other things you will do together ahead of time.

    17. Spend Time with Them One-On-One

    Take each of your grandkids out or have them over one at a time so you can spend some one-on-one time with them. This way, you can focus on them alone and not have to worry about the other children in your care. Your grandkids will feel special and loved by having this time with you.

    18. Take Them to Practice and Activities

    If you can still drive, as your grandkids get older, offer to take them to after-school practices and activities. Your grandkids will love being picked up at school, and their parents will be very grateful for the help.

    19. Send Them Mail

    Kids love getting mail, so send them something once a month. This could be a card, a letter, or even a special subscription box that correlates with one of their favorite interests.

    20. Connect Weekly

    Make sure you connect with your grandkids on a weekly basis. This can be via email, text, face timing, or a phone call. Let them know their importance to you by carving out time for them every week.

    21. Fly Them Out to See You

    If you have the means, monitor airfares and fly your grandchildren out to see you when you find a good price.

    22. Share Cake on Everyone’s Birthday

    If you live far away, celebrate your grandkid’s birthdays by baking a cake together via video chat. You can make a small cake while your grandchild and their parents can go whole hog on a two-tier, fully decorated cake. Make sure you bake and decorate your cake together via Facetime on your tablet or laptop if possible.

    23. Record a Story

    You can do this in several ways. Hallmark has recordable storybooks where you can read the story and it will record your voice. You can also record yourself reading it and send it to your grandkids on their phone. I read an article about a grandma who started her own YouTube channel, and she records herself reading storybooks to her grandchildren who live far away. I think this is very cool.

    Asian grandparents with baby grandma and grandpa

    Photo credit: ©GettyImages/Edwin Tan

    24. Go Visit

    Once again, if you find cheap airfare, book a flight and visit your grandchildren. They will appreciate the time and effort it took to spend time with them.

    25. Read a Book to Them

    If you live close by, spend an afternoon reading their favorite books to them.

    There are many practical ways you can spend time with your grandkids, both near and far, to show them you love them. Choose a few options from the list above and start planning how you are going to spend your time the next time you are together.

    Photo credit: ©GettyImages/andreswd

    Carrie Lowrance

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  • 4 Relevant Lessons About Forgiveness

    4 Relevant Lessons About Forgiveness

    Recently, a lady in my church approached me and asked me what the Bible says about forgiving other people. I loved her honesty and told her I would think about it and let her know. After doing a little bit of research, I came up with a few verses that I sent her.

    However, I could not send these Scriptures to her without being moved by them myself. Here are four lessons I am learning about forgiveness (and I expect I will always be learning them):

    1. My forgiveness of others is evidence of God’s forgiveness at work within me.

    When Jesus taught his disciples to pray with what we often call “The Lord’s Prayer,” he said to pray like this: “And forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors” (Matthew 6:12). Then, just in case there were any questions about that, Jesus followed that up with this:

    “For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.” (Matthew 6:14-15, ESV).

    Elsewhere in the Bible, Mark records this similar teaching of Jesus from a different time:

    “And whenever you stand praying, forgive, if you have anything against anyone, so that your Father also who is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses.” (Mark 11:25, ESV).

    What I am learning as I live my life is that the more I experience and appreciate God’s forgiveness of my sins, the more I am reminded and even compelled to forgive others. This has played out, especially in my closest relationships, such as with my wife and father.

    2. When God forgives me, he cancels my debt and removes my guilt.

    I have a bad memory. My memory is so bad that my wife often has to remind me how bad it is.

    But even with my bad memory, it is difficult (or even impossible) to forget how someone has hurt me, lied to me, or mistreated me in my past. Those experiences of trauma can stay with us our whole life. We do not have the power to forget them completely. We can suppress them, but they are still there in the subconscious recesses of our mind, and (as I have heard many times) “our body keeps the score” of the trauma we have gone through.

    God, on the other hand, is able to choose to forget the debt. I am not saying that he misplaces his notes or that his omniscience has an end. Instead, he has the supernatural ability to decide what he connects to us. While I believe God still knows what we as Christians have done against him, he lets go of and forgets the debt that we owe for our sins. That is justification. Paul explains it like this:

    “And you, who were dead in your trespasses and the uncircumcision of your flesh, God made alive together with him, having forgiven us all our trespasses by canceling the record of debt that stood against us with its legal demands. This he set aside, nailing it to the cross.” (Colossians 2:13-14, ESV)

    When we are in Christ (meaning we are essentially hidden behind Jesus in God’s sight), we are no longer living under condemnation for our sins. We will still have to deal with natural consequences, but there is no more guilt associated with our sin. Our judge has declared us unequivocally “not guilty.”

    I love the picture the psalmist gives us about this when he writes in Psalm 103:12, “As far as the east is from the west, so far does he remove our transgressions from us.”

    3. Forgiving others is one way I express my love to them.

    As tough as it is to admit, I have hurt others. There are times when I have hurt my parents, my spouse, my children, my friends, and the people I have tried to lead. There are times when it was totally accidental, and there are times when it was on purpose because I was angry or trying to be vindictive.

    In the same way that I want others to not hold my sin against me after I have asked for their forgiveness, the way that I display my love to others is by forgiving them for their wrongdoing. Constantly bringing up someone’s sin against me or continuing to look at them through the filter of their mistakes is not loving.

    The Apostle Paul (who knew a thing or two about being forgiven for much) wrote in Ephesians 4:32, “Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you” (ESV). He also wrote to the believers in Colossae, “If one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive” (Colossians 3:13, ESV).

    If I do not forgive someone (as I have had to often do in my life), then I do not love them. For example, I do not hold the sins, mistakes, and failures of my children over them and treat them differently because I have an unconditional love for them (or at least as much as humanly possible). One of the understandings that I have realized that has really helped me do this is to recognize that we all have things we are dealing with and “hurt people hurt people.” In order to love and forgive others well, I often need to remember that they are just acting out in the best way they know.

    4. I will never use up my forgiveness power.

    One of the greatest abilities I have as a friend and family member of others is my power to forgive. Anyone can retaliate and hurt someone for their actions. It is so natural to do so that even animals can react and retaliate. But it takes great power and intentional love to forgive others after they hurt us. As Jesus taught Peter and his other disciples:

    “Then Peter came up and said to him, “Lord, how often will my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven times?” Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you seven times, but seventy-seven times.” (Matthew 18:21-22, ESV)

    In the same way that God forgives me for my past, present, and future sins (for which I am incredibly thankful), I have the power to forgive others. While this doesn’t mean that I need to position myself in the same place I was before in order to get hurt in the same way, it does mean that when I love someone, I will continue to forgive them and move on instead of being stuck in bitterness and unforgiveness.

    As I think back over my own life, I can honestly say that I have forgiven many people for how they hurt me. This forgiveness has given me a sense of closure and peace that has helped me live a better life. But this power to forgive did not come from me—it came from the Holy Spirit within me. Any unforgiveness I still have because of unsettled issues is still there because I have not allowed God to fill those bitter spots with love.

    So, let’s allow God’s forgiveness to sprout in us. Let’s live in great appreciation for how he has canceled our debts and chooses not to hold our sins against us. Let’s live out our love by forgiving others. And let’s wield the greatest power we have at our disposal: forgiveness.

    Photo Credit: ©GettyImages/greenleaf123

    Robert Hampshire is a pastor, teacher, writer, and leader. He has been married to Rebecca since 2008 and has three children, Brooklyn, Bryson, and Abram. Robert attended North Greenville University in South Carolina for his undergraduate and Liberty University in Virginia for his Masters. He has served in a variety of roles as a worship pastor, youth pastor, family pastor, church planter, and now Pastor of Worship and Discipleship at Cheraw First Baptist Church in South Carolina. He furthers his ministry through his blog site, Faithful Thinking, and his YouTube channel. His life goal is to serve God and His Church by reaching the lost with the gospel, making devoted disciples, equipping and empowering others to go further in their faith and calling, and leading a culture of multiplication for the glory of God. Find out more about him here.

    This article originally appeared on Christianity.com. For more faith-building resources, visit

    Christianity.com. Christianity.com

    Robert Hampshire

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  • Why Do We Need Community?

    Why Do We Need Community?

    Isolating has always been a temptation for me. Even in my faith, I’ve attempted to follow Jesus with minimal dependence on others while avoiding sharing my struggles and fears. But living the Christian life in isolation doesn’t work for long. 

    Why can’t I seek God on my own and please Him? Why is community essential to following Christ?

    What Is Community?

    Community can be defined as “A feeling of fellowship with others, as a result of sharing common attitudes, interests, and goals.” For Christians, it’s sharing our sorrows and joys while living authentically by allowing others to see our weaknesses and our strengths. It’s confessing our sins to one another and praying for each other. Christian community involves seeking God and worshiping Him together.

    Community Is a Reflection of God

    We’ll never be able to fully comprehend God, but we know He is “three in one,” called the Trinity. When creating man, “God said, ‘Let us make mankind in our image, in our likeness’…So God created mankind in his own image” (Genesis 1:26-27 NIV). God the Father, Jesus Christ the Son, and the Holy Spirit worked together in creation.

    The Father, Son, and Holy Spirit have always been in community, united as one. When Jesus was on Earth, He cried out in prayer for us: “My prayer is not for them alone. I pray also for those who will believe in me through their message, that all of them may be one, Father, just as you are in me and I am in you. May they also be in us” (John 17:20-21 NIV). God wants us to experience the joy of harmony as He does.

    Paul, a New Testament missionary, wrote “May the grace of the Lord Jesus Christ, and the love of God, and the fellowship of the Holy Spirit be with you all” (2 Corinthians 13:14 NIV). These three always operate as One. They are a picture of the unity God desires for all believers.

    Jesus Christ Modeled Community

    Jesus came to Earth to live perfectly, die as a sacrifice for all sin, and then rise again, conquering death forever. He was the only One who could save us: He had to do that alone. But He ministered in community. Many followed Him, but He called twelve special disciples to be His apostles. They were continually together as He taught them and prepared them for ministry after His return to heaven. 

    Jesus told His disciples, “A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another” (John 13:34-35 NIV). He gave this command multiple times. 

    When the disciples weren’t with Jesus, He sent them out in pairs to minister to people: “Calling the Twelve to Him, He began to send them out two by two…” (Mark 6:7a NIV). God does use us as individuals, and sometimes we serve alone, but He intends that we minister in community.

    Community Provides a Place for Sharing Burdens and Finding Healing

    King Solomon of Old Testament times wisely wrote, “Pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up” (Ecclesiastes 4:10b NIV). Everyone faces times of hardship, pain, and sorrow. Having to go through those times alone can magnify the pain and leave us feeling hopeless. 

    We need others to pick us up, hold our hands, or sit quietly with us in our pain. In the Christian community, it’s powerful to see people circling someone who has experienced loss or illness. When someone is there to help us carry our burdens, the weight is lifted from our shoulders. At those times, we can rest knowing we’re not alone.

    I remember a time when a dear friend was in an explosion in her garage. After hurrying to the emergency room to check on her, I discovered at least a dozen people from our church there. We circled on the lawn to pray as a helicopter took her to a larger city for care. That is community.

    When writing to encourage believers in Galatia, Paul exhorted, “Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ” (Galatians 6:2 NIV). Christians are called to help each other with our struggles and difficulties. God never intended for us to walk alone. 

    We’re encouraged by the Lord’s brother, James, to “confess our sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective” (James 5:16 NIV). Instead of feeling like we need to hide our sins and weaknesses in our Christian fellowship, we should be able to confess, pray for each other, and find freedom. Of course, this needs to take place with a group of believers we know and trust. But keeping our struggles and sins in the dark also keeps us bound to them. 

    King Solomon of Old Testament times, known for his wisdom, wrote this proverb: “A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for a time of adversity” (Proverbs 17:17 NIV). Our brothers and sisters in Christ are there to help us in hard times.

    Community Provides Mutual Encouragement

    Paul continually sent out letters of encouragement to New Testament believers. When writing to those in Rome, he expressed, “I long to see you so that I may impart to you some spiritual gift to make you strong—that is, that you and I may be mutually encouraged by each other’s faith” (Romans 1:11-12 NIV). Sharing our faith gives comfort to others.

    King Solomon also wrote, “As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another” (Proverbs 27:17 NIV). As much as our prideful selves believe we can operate alone, we need others to sharpen us or we become dull and discouraged. 

    Meeting regularly isn’t just a rule to follow. We come together not only to worship our Lord but also because we need each other. Scripture urges, “And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching” (Hebrews 10:24-25 NIV).

    Being part of a small group is emphasized in my church. These groups meet weekly to study, pray, and do life together. For some years I’d resisted joining one for various reasons. But God recently orchestrated events, and I was suddenly in a life group again. After a couple of weeks, I realized the gift He had given me. Mine is a group of women who are there for each other, praying, encouraging, caring, listening, and understanding. Community is a gift God wants to give.

    Community Is More Effective Than Isolation

    Paul labeled all believers as “the Body of Christ”. He compared us to a human body, saying, “For just as each of us has one body with many members, and these members do not have the same function, so in Christ we, though many, form one body, and each member belongs to all the others” (Romans 12:4-5 NIV). We need everyone’s gifts working together to fulfill God’s purpose for us on earth. God has given me spiritual gifts, but not every gift. Encouraging and serving others is the goal.

    Speaking of believers as a body, Paul taught, “The eye cannot say to the hand, ‘I don’t need you!’ and the head cannot say to the feet, ‘I don’t need you!’…there should be no division in the body, but that its parts should have equal concern for each other. If one part suffers, every part suffers with it; if one part is honored, every part rejoices with it” (1 Corinthians 12:21,25-26 NIV). We’re all part of the Body of Christ and are called to unity.

    After Pentecost, when God sent the Holy Spirit as a gift to believers, the church enjoyed a time of great unity. Paul recorded, “All the believers were together and had everything in common…And the Lord added to their number daily those who were being saved” (Acts 2:44-47 NIV). Working together is the most effective way to serve God.

    Community Glorifies God

    Seeking to operate independently is the opposite of what God wants for His people. His call is for unity within community. Paul expressed this so beautifully: “May the God who gives endurance and encouragement give you the same attitude of mind toward each other that Christ Jesus had, so that with one mind and one voice you may glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ” (Romans 15:5-6 NIV). God desires that, as one, we would focus on glorifying Him.  

    Paul continues with this advice: “Accept one another, then, just as Christ accepted you, in order to bring praise to God” (Romans 15:7 NIV). We must put aside our differences to love each other and work in unity for His glory. 

    How Do I Find Community?

    -Seek a local church with strong Bible teaching where the gospel of Jesus Christ is taught.

    -Go with an open heart and mind, willing to reach out to others.

    -Look for small groups to participate in, such as Bible studies, life groups, or service-oriented groups. 

    -Pray and ask God to send at least one close friend.

    -Share your real self with others.

    -Be a friend.

    -Remember that building relationships takes time.

    -Join in with what the church has to offer.

    -Invite someone to study the Bible with you, be a prayer partner, or meet weekly to encourage each other.

    -Be open to service opportunities. Take meals to those in need. Help in a food pantry. Volunteer with kids or youth. 

    Overall, love others. One of my favorite Scriptures says, “Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins” (1 Peter 4:8 NIV). When we love others, we accept, forgive, and offer grace. In humility, we seek what is good for those we love. Enjoy the gift of community.

    Photo Credit: ©GettyImages/pondsaksit

    Susan Aken writes devotions and articles for Wholly Loved Ministries, is an Oklahoma native who’s lived in Nebraska since 1987 and has been in public education for over thirty years. She and her husband have one son and a wonderful daughter-in-law. Besides writing she has a passion for special needs and prayer ministries. She enjoys time with family, reading, photography, movies, walking in nature, and a nice cup of tea. She believes life is a journey and we’re all in different places. Jesus is everything to her and it’s all about grace. Visit her at susanaken53.wordpress.com or on Facebook.

    Susan Aken

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  • BOW-TIE PASTA SALAD

    BOW-TIE PASTA SALAD

    This Bow-Tie Pasta Salad is loaded with delicious vegetables and great seasonings. It’s a fantastic side dish that goes great with just about any meal!

    Bow-Tie Pasta SaladBow-Tie Pasta Salad

    If you love this salad you will also want to our Amish Pasta Salad, it is incredible and has wonderful reviews.

    ❤️WHY WE LOVE THIS RECIPE

    We love the combination of the delicious vegetables and the dressing with this salad. Then you add in the bowtie pasta and it’s a hit. If you look at the ingredient list, you may think this takes a lot of time; chopping the vegetables is the most time-consuming part. You can also make this salad you own, its super versatile, if you see an ingredient you don’t like, simply leave it out.

    🍴KEY INGREDIENTS

    • Bow-tie pasta, uncooked
    • Eggs
    • Cherry tomatoes
    • Radishes
    • Cucumber
    • Green onions
    • Green pepper
    • Shredded cheese (I use cheddar, can use what you like)
    • Fresh or frozen sweet peas, uncooked (can cook if you want)
    • Celery seeds
    • Salt
    • Dried or fresh basil
    • White granulated sugar
    • White vinegar
    • Mayonnaise or Miracle Whip

    🍽️HOW TO MAKE

    The hardest part of this salad is chopping up all the vegetables, so once that is done and you have made the pasta, you are set!

    Step 1
    Cook pasta according to package directions to al dente and drain well. Combine pasta, eggs, cherry tomatoes, radishes, cucumber, green onions, green pepper, cheese and peas. 

    Step 2
    Toss well with spoon. Sprinkle on celery seeds, salt, basil, sugar and vinegar. Add mayonnaise and mix all ingredients well with spoon. Refrigerate at least 3 or 4 hours to let flavors marry. Makes 8 to 10 servings. This keeps well in the refrigerator and recipe could be cut in half.

    Bow-Tie Pasta SaladBow-Tie Pasta Salad

    OTHER PASTA SALAD RECIPES

    SERVE THIS SALAD WITH

    • Crispy Baked Chicken Thighs– These are so easy to make and have such a wonderful flavor. They go great with this pasta salad.
    • BBQ Pork Chops – Get the grill out and enjoy these delicious pork chops with this pasta salad.
    • Stuffed Green Peppers – These are one of our most popular recipes and they go great with any salad, but this one is a great addition.

    STORING, REHEATING & SERVING SIZE

    We store this in the fridge, it makes about 8 servings. You can easily double this recipe for a larger crowd.

    Bow-Tie Pasta Salad

    Anne Walkup

    This refreshing bow-tie pasta salad is perfect to enjoy during the summer. You can add whatever vegetables you like! Very versatile and keeps well.

    Prep Time 15 minutes

    Cook Time 14 minutes

    3 hours

    Total Time 3 hours 29 minutes

    Course Salad

    Cuisine American, southern

    • 3 cups bow-tie pasta uncooked
    • 3 eggs boiled, peeled and chopped
    • 1 (10 ouncbox cherry tomatoes or about 20 tomatoes sliced in half
    • 4 or 5 radishes sliced
    • 1 small cucumber peeled and chopped
    • 1 cup chopped green onions
    • 1 small green pepper chopped
    • 1 cup shredded cheese I use cheddar, can use what you like
    • 1 cup fresh or frozen sweet peas uncooked (can cook if you want)
    • 1 teaspoon celery seeds
    • 1/2 teaspoon salt
    • 1 teaspoon dried basil or 1 tablespoon fresh basil chopped
    • 2 tablespoons white granulated sugar
    • 2 tablespoons white vinegar
    • 1/2 cup mayonnaise or Miracle Whip

    • Cook pasta according to package directions to al dente and drain well. Combine pasta, eggs, cherry tomatoes, radishes, cucumber, green onions, green pepper, cheese and peas.

    • Toss well with spoon. Sprinkle on celery seeds, salt, basil, sugar and vinegar. Add mayonnaise and mix all ingredients well with spoon. Refrigerate at least 3 or 4 hours to let flavors marry. Makes 8 to 10 servings. This keeps well in the refrigerator and recipe could be cut in half.

    Let us know by commenting below!

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    Anne Walkup

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  • 3 Steps to Less Financial Stress with Your Spouse

    3 Steps to Less Financial Stress with Your Spouse

    How much better our relationship with our spouse might be if we read and paid attention to that phrase every time we touched money. How much fewer arguments we might have. How less stressed we might be. 

    It’s been said that married couples argue the most about sex, raising children, and money. But money doesn’t have to be one of the triggers to tension in your relationship. It is, after all, just money. 

    My husband and I are convinced — and have been our whole married life — that our financial stability depends on how much we trust God rather than on how much we make. 

    It’s really not about the money.  If it was God would just rain it down and solve our problems. Churches are in debt across the nation. Christians are in debt, personally. Ministry workers struggle to make ends meet. Yet God owns it all. He lacks no resources. So if He’s not providing what we think we need at the time, we either don’t need it, or there’s something else going on. For us it’s always a matter of trust. It’s a matter of where our hearts are. It’s a matter of character development. And it’s a matter of faith and teaching us to pray.  

    Here are three steps you and your spouse can take to start trusting God with your finances and lessening the stress and tension between the two of you:

    1. Be obedient.

    God expects us to give back to Him what is rightfully His. Actually, all of what we have is rightfully God’s but we have chosen to follow a command set forth in the Old Testament when God commanded the Israelites to give a tenth of what they made to God. We tithe – which literally means giving a tenth of our money to God – as a matter of discipline and as a guideline of a good starting point and then add to that as we can. Why? Because a tenth is, in our case, a huge financial stretch. Because to tithe is, in our case, to trust. We have found, time and again, that God is faithful in providing all our needs as we honor Him by giving to Him first above everything else. God has a way of multiplying what we give to Him and giving back to us when we fall short at the end of the month because we trusted Him with that tenth we didn’t think we could give, but gave anyway. We’ve come to see it’s how God blesses those who honor Him with what He’s given them. 

    2. Be responsible.  

    God expects us to be good stewards of all that we have – our material possessions, as well as our money. And the first way we do that is to acknowledge that everything we have has been given to us and therefore is His.  We are simply managers of the money He has entrusted us with. We have found that this helps us have a proper perspective toward money, keeps us humble, and prevents us from living beyond our means or spending money on something God wouldn’t approve of. 

    Being a good steward means we heed the guidelines set forth in God’s Word about not getting into debt, not living beyond our means, and not going into business with someone we can’t trust. Most likely, there isn’t a couple on earth who hasn’t learned some of these guidelines the hard way. We’ve had our share of difficult situations too. But God is not looking for perfection, or expecting us to become financial investment experts. He’s looking for hearts that are submissive and teachable. When you acknowledge that all you have is His anyway, it helps you to remember that major purchases and investments should be a matter of prayer. After all, you’ll want to consult the Owner about how He would like you to manage His funds! 

    3. Be joyfully expectant.

    The Bible says if we, being human and having limited resources, know how to give good gifts to our children, how much more does God know how to give good gifts to those He loves? (Matthew 7:9-11; James 1:17). We have had a great time throughout our marriage seeing God come through for us, financially, in incredible ways. In fact, each time He does, we write it down on a small piece of paper and put it in a jar and at the end of the year we review those blessings and are reminded of God’s faithfulness.  

    Money doesn’t have to be a stress factor between you and your spouse. Instead, make it a faith adventure. 

    Cindi McMenamin is a national speaker and author of more than a dozen books, including When Women Walk Alone (more than 120,000 copies sold), When a Woman Inspires Her Husband, and her most recent, When God Sees Your Tears.  Cindi and her husband, Hugh, a former pastor, have co-authored When Couples Walk Together: 31 Days to a Closer Connection, upon which this article is based. For more on Cindi’s ministry, or for free articles to strengthen your soul, marriage or parenting, see her website: www.StrengthForTheSoul.com or connect with her on Facebook. 

    Publication date: August 12, 2015

    Photo credit: ©GettyImages/bernardbodo

    Cindi McMenamin

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  • KENTUCKY’S WOODFORD PUDDING

    KENTUCKY’S WOODFORD PUDDING

    Woodford Pudding is a very old-fashioned dessert that dates back to the late 1800’s. It has a light texture and is a wonderful addition to any holiday gathering.

    Woodford PuddingWoodford Pudding

    If you love old-fashioned recipes like this one, you must try this vintage Water Pie. It’s a depression-era pie, and it’s really good.

    ❤️WHY WE LOVE THIS RECIPE

    Woodford Pudding is a wonderful dish to serve during the holidays, a derby dinner or anytime you have guests and family.  This recipe for Woodford Pudding dates back to 1875.  The spongy, spiced pudding is named after Woodford County in Kentucky.  John Egerton speaks about Woodford Pudding in his book, “Southern Food”.  This pudding is so good, and you won’t be able to leave it alone.  

    🍴KEY INGREDIENTS

    • Butter
    • Sugar
    • Eggs
    • Blackberry Jam
    • All Purpose Flour
    • Cinnamon
    • Allspice
    • Buttermilk
    • Baking Soda
    • Sauce ingredients listed in the recipe card.

    SWAPS

    I have swapped out raspberry jam in place of the blackberry and it was just as good. People often ask if you have to use buttermilk and I believe you do. Buttermilk adds a level of fat to the recipe and without it, it will not be the correct consistency.

    🍽️HOW TO MAKE

    This is a super simple recipe to make, which is one of the reasons we love it! Plus the combination of spices makes this pudding wonderful.

    Step 1
    Cream butter and sugar.  Add eggs and blackberry jam. Mix well.  Add flour, cinnamon, and allspice and continue mixing. 

    Step 2
    Pour in buttermilk with soda added to the milk.  Mix well and pour into a sprayed 9 x 13 baking dish or a sprayed 10 inch bundt pan. Bake in preheated 325 degree oven for 45 to 50 minutes.

    Step 3 – Making the Sauce
    Combine sugar and flour in saucepan.  Add boiling water and salt.  Mix well with spoon or whisk.  Bring to a boil on stove.  Cook to desired thickness, about five or six minutes.  If too thick add more boiling water.  Remove from heat, add butter, milk and vanilla and stir.  Serve pudding warm with sauce on top.

    Woodford PuddingWoodford Pudding

    ⭐TIP

    You can make this in a 9 x 13 or in a bundt pan.   I have found the temperature to be the same, and I cook it for the same amount of time, checking the center after about 40 minutes. This is a pudding, so it doesn’t rise like a cake.

    OTHER OLD FASHIONED RECIPES

    • Old Fashioned Prune Cake – This cake has been around a very long time and it’s always a hit. The sauce on it is a wonderful addition.
    • Old Fashioned Snowball Cake – This cake is perfect for the holidays and it is a beautiful addition to any dessert table.
    • Southern Jam Cake – This is our favorite holiday cake and it’s a tradition in our family. If you love classics, this one is at the top of the list!
    • Old Fashioned Tomato Soup Cake – This cake was on the back of a campbells soup can many many years ago. It’s a spice cake and so good!

    STORING, REHEATING & SERVING SIZE

    We store this in a cool place. We like it hot or cold but the sauce on it warmed up is amazing. This makes about 8 servings.

    Woodford Pudding

    Judy Yeager

    Woodford Pudding is a wonderful dish to serve during the holidays, a derby dinner or anytime you have guests and family. This recipe for Woodford Pudding dates back to 1875 and is definitely and old fashioned recipe.

    Prep Time 10 minutes

    Cook Time 45 minutes

    Total Time 55 minutes

    Course Dessert

    Cuisine American

    • 1 stick butter or margarine softened
    • 1 cup sugar
    • 3 eggs
    • 1 cup blackberry jam
    • 1 cup all-purpose flour
    • 1 teaspoon cinnamon
    • 1 teaspoon allspice
    • 1/2 cup buttermilk
    • 1 teaspoon baking soda

    Butterscotch Sauce

    • 1 1/2 cups brown sugar
    • 1/4 teaspoon salt
    • 1/4 cup all-purpose flour
    • 1 cup boiling water
    • 1/2 stick butter or margarine
    • 2 tablespoons cream or evaporated milk I use evaporated milk
    • 1 teaspoon vanilla

    • Cream butter and sugar. Add eggs and blackberry jam. Mix well. Add flour, cinnamon, and allspice and continue mixing. Pour in buttermilk and add soda. Mix well and pour into a sprayed 9 x 13 baking dish or a 10 inch bundt pan. Bake in preheated 325 degree oven for 45 to 50 minutes.

    Butterscotch Sauce Instructions

    • Combine sugar and flour in saucepan. Add boiling water and salt. Mix well with spoon or whisk. Bring to a boil on stove. Cook to desired thickness, about five or six minutes. If too thick add more boiling water. Remove from heat, add butter, milk and vanilla and stir. Serve pudding warm with sauce on top.

    Let us know by commenting below!

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    Judy Yeager

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  • How Can Exhausted Parents Create Time for Their Relationship?

    How Can Exhausted Parents Create Time for Their Relationship?

    Parents, especially those with small children, can have difficulty making time for their spouses. Children need a lot of our physical time when they are babies because we need to care for them. When they get older, that time shifts from physical care to taking them to activities, often after a long hard day’s work. Parents frequently come home exhausted after a long day, unable to spend the quality time they need. When parents go too long without time, they can find themselves exhausted, finding that they are emotionally and physically distant from each other.

    But there’s hope. Parents can find time to invest in their relationship. Here are some ways how to do that:

    Small Moments Matter

    When people start dating, they often dedicate an evening or even a whole weekend to each other. However, that simply may not be possible with young (or even older) children. However, make the small moments count. Spend up to half an hour together eating dinner alone. Feed the kids, then send them off to do an age-appropriate activity. Have dinner alone and discuss your day. Debrief about how things are going. Don’t lose sight of emotions and little things that may be getting bottled up and need to be discussed. Often, idle chitchat such as, “How was your day?” leads to bigger discussions about important aspects of the relationship that need to be healed. If dinner is not an option, have dessert in bed or together on the couch after the kids go to bed. Turn the television off and seek to focus on each other. Because it’s easy to want to turn the TV on and vegetate, avoiding taking the time is easy. However, when we take the time to shut off our phones and screens, we will find we have more time than we once believed we did.

    Photo credit: ©GettyImages/SrdjanPav

    Hire a Sitter

    Although hiring a babysitter may financially strain a young parent’s budget, it’s vital to keep the marriage strong. Enlist the help of parents or grandparents if necessary to help watch the children. Seek to have a night out at least once a month. Even if spouses can’t afford a big night out, get ice cream, get your favorite take-out, or simply take a walk. The time spent together is more important than what the activity is.

    Seek to designate a small portion of the paycheck each week (or month) toward hiring a sitter. Set that money aside in a jar or an envelope. Strive not to spend it. Use that money as an investment in the marriage and in the future. This will give parents something to look forward to and give their relationship the emotional investment it requires.

    Put God First

    For Christians, we seek to put God first. However, it’s easy to crowd God out in our overpacked world. We often see time together for simply doing an activity or something fun. While this may be true, the most essential thing that needs to happen is to pray together. A couple that prays together is more than likely to stay together. Don’t dismiss the power of prayer. Ask each other what they could be praying for each other. This will help keep the lines of communication open and let each spouse know they are important to the other. It is easy for one spouse to talk about their day but not take the time to invest in the other. Prayer becomes more about other people than it does about themselves. Ask God to be the center of their relationship and to make time for each other with God as often as possible.

    Make Chores Fun

    Happy couple family parents in kitchen with baby kissing

    Photo credit: ©GettyImages/jacoblund

    Another aspect of being a parent is owning a home. Although it’s exciting to own a home, it is also important that they complete household chores. This may come at the end of an already over-packed week. Exhausted parents seek to prioritize these chores because they seem the most important. However, as kids get older and leave the home, it won’t be the amount of laundry folded or the number of dishes that got washed. The most important thing that will be remembered is how much time was spent together. Leave the dirty dishes in the sink and keep the laundry in the dryer for one more day. Invest the time to merely sit and talk and not be distracted by screens or other things that may take away from being present in the moment with your spouse.

    Resolve Arguments

    Sometimes, parents don’t want to invest time in each other because of conflict. Different personalities may clash when both parties handle conflict differently. Some people like to sweep it under the rug and pretend it doesn’t exist. Others explode, dealing with the conflict head-on. It is important to deal with the conflict directly and nip it in the bud. When anger and resentment go unchecked, it can be the nail in the coffin of a marriage. Make sure there is no residual anger or arguments between the two of you. If there is, sacrifice some time and seek to resolve the conflict. It is necessary not only for your health but also for the health of your marriage.

    Speak the Love Language

    Don’t discount your spouse’s love language. According to Doctor Gary Chapman, the five love languages are acts of service, quality time, gifts, physical affection, and words of affirmation. Be sure to discover which love language your spouse speaks the most. Seek to speak that language to them each day. Even if time is limited, take a few small moments out of the day to speak that love language. Perhaps it’s a text saying how much you love your spouse. Maybe it’s a bouquet of flowers purchased at the store before coming home from work. No matter how you choose to show this love language, be sure to speak it daily. Do so with no strings attached. No spouse likes to feel as if they need to reciprocate that love language. They want to feel loved and appreciated simply for being who they are, not for what they can do for you. When both parties seek to speak each other’s love language and carve out little moments throughout the day to show each other they love each other, it will be easier for them to carve out time to emotionally invest in their relationship.

    For spouses with kids, balancing quality time with work is difficult. However, the years of being a loving couple are rewarding even if they sacrifice much of our time. Be sure to invest in your relationship in as many ways as possible while sacrificing time, money, and other resources. Spouses who emotionally invest in their relationship may find that as the kids grow up and move away, their relationship is stronger than ever. When they take the time to invest while the kids are still at home, they set a good example for the kids in understanding that their spouse and their relationship come first; a healthy marriage is the key to good parenting.

    Photo credit: ©GettyImages/Antonio_Diaz

    Writer Michelle LazurekMichelle S. Lazurek is a multi-genre award-winning author, speaker, pastor’s wife, and mother. She is a literary agent for Wordwise Media Services and a certified writing coach. Her new children’s book Who God Wants Me to Be encourages girls to discover God’s plan for their careers. When not working, she enjoys sipping a Starbucks latte, collecting 80s memorabilia, and spending time with her family and her crazy dog. For more info, please visit her website www.michellelazurek.com.

    Michelle S. Lazurek

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  • Embracing Rejection and Learning to Let it Go

    Embracing Rejection and Learning to Let it Go

    “I’m sorry, you are simply not what we are looking for.” Another letter of rejection from an organization I was applying for. Day after day, letters of rejection came in from various jobs that I had applied for. Doubt, fear, and self-hate filled my heart as I read each email.

    Dealing with rejection is hard. Most of us have had at least one rejection in our lifetime. Whether that be rejection from a job, a partner, or a friend, we have all been rejected at some point in time.

    Recently, I have been facing rejection at every turn. Despite being told the job market is doing well right now, I have not been able to land a full-time position.

    This, coupled with personal issues and bad reviews on my writing, has led me to go into a bout of depression. While not everyone deals with rejection the same way, everyone’s experience is valid.

    Some people can bounce back more easily, and others cannot. If you are someone like me and it tends to take more time to bounce back, don’t give yourself a hard time.

    All of us process rejection at different rates. Processing it fast is not bad, nor is it bad to process it slower. Give yourself grace during this time and allow yourself to feel your feelings.

    Sadly, many Christian communities demonize feelings, especially sadness and sorrow. None of these emotions are sinful. Feel your feelings and process the rejection in your own time.

    The Burn of Rejection

    At the time we are rejected, it feels like someone is cauterizing our hearts. This is especially true if it was a job you really wanted or a person you truly wanted to be with. When we are rejected by a job employer, a partner, or a friend, it can make our self-worth suffer. Instead of feeling confident, we will feel we are not good enough or inadequate in some way.

    If you are also someone seeking out full-time employment and have been receiving letters of rejection, it can make you feel discouraged. I know this has certainly been true for myself. Being rejected makes one feel like they are a failure, will never be good enough, and are not worthy. All of these things can hurt our self-esteem and self-image.

    If you are dealing with rejection and feeling discouraged because of it, know that the right opportunity will show up. Be encouraged. Know that the Lord will work everything out in conformity with His will (Romans 8:28).

    It would be nice to know the exact timing of when this will happen, but sadly, I do not have the answers. I share with you the same thing I have been telling myself: God is in control, and you can trust Him.

    The Bible tells us, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight” (Proverbs 3:5-6).

    As this Bible verse tells us, we need to trust in the Lord. We don’t need to try to take matters into our own hands. Wait on the Lord and trust that deliverance will come. Whether you are waiting on a job offer or for the right person to come along, keep on trusting in the Lord.

    Living with Rejection

    After we have received the letter of rejection, our partner ended things with us, or we had a falling out with our friend, we have to begin the process of living with rejection. Living a life without rejection would be ideal, but sadly, this is not possible.

    We live in a fallen world and part of living in a fallen world is having to live with rejection. There will be times that we will be rejected, discouraged, and hopeless. However, there will also be times of great joy, encouragement, and hope.

    When you are crestfallen due to much rejection, reflect on God and all of the joyous times He has blessed you with. Take a few minutes to reflect on a few good things in your life. These things don’t have to be going on right now — rather it can be things in your past.

    As an example, recently I have been reflecting on the beautiful blessings God has given me in the forms of a beautiful sunny day, the peaceful rain, and the comfort of a familiar book.

    Although none of these things technically fix my feelings of rejection, they do help me distract myself from the pain. Sometimes, we have to distract ourselves until we are ready to deal with the pain.

    There are stages to embracing rejection and not allowing it to affect you, but they do take time. Some days you might feel more ready to face the rejection head on and other days you might feel like distracting yourself. Whatever helps you best right now is the route you should take.

    Accepting Rejection and Moving Forward

    Once we are ready to accept the rejection and move forward, we can start taking the proper steps. Accepting the rejection might come faster than you think. Normalize not being praised or rewarded at every corner. Allow yourself to accept both the good and the bad.

    Even though we may have been rejected does not mean we are not good enough. The Lord loves us as we are. We will face many rejections throughout our life, but God always accepts us. In other people’s eyes, we might be seen as rejected. However, in God’s eyes we are seen as loved, accepted, and chosen.

    If we are not able to accept rejection and learn to let it go, it will make us suffer in many ways. We have to remember that most people do not care about our feelings. They are not going to be afraid to say hurtful comments to us. While we cannot control what they say or do, we can control how we respond.

    The Bible tells us, “Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone” (Colossians 4:6). And this is exactly what I chose to do.

    We can accept negative feedback, rejection, and hurtful words while also remaining a light for Jesus. The Lord wants us to conduct ourselves in a holy and honorable way (1 Peter 1:16).

    Even if others do not treat us kindly, God still wants us to be kind to them. Rejection can make us grow angry and hateful, but we must not feed into these feelings. We need to turn to the Lord and allow Him to help us accept the rejection and move forward.

    Nothing is too difficult for God. He is our Father and desires to give us comfort. Rejection will never be pleasant, but it doesn’t give us an excuse to also be mean back.

    We have to choose kindness even when nobody else does. Be kind to all people, even those who have rejected you. Don’t hold grudges against the people who have rejected you. Holding grudges against people will only hurt us.

    Give all of your hurt, pain, and rejection over to God. He will remind you that you are loved, chosen, and accepted (1 John 3:1; John 15:13; 1 Peter 1:2; Ephesians 1:6-7).

    Photo Credit: ©Getty Images/Chinnapong

    Vivian Bricker loves Jesus, studying the Word of God, and helping others in their walk with Christ. She has earned a Bachelor of Arts and Master’s degree in Christian Ministry with a deep academic emphasis in theology. Her favorite things to do are spending time with her family and friends, reading, and spending time outside. When she is not writing, she is embarking on other adventures.

    Vivian Bricker

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  • Finding Purpose and Joy Again as a Widower

    Finding Purpose and Joy Again as a Widower

    Mr. Harris, our friendly next-door neighbor, was a sunshine on our street. Always with a wave and a warm hello, he’d stop to chat about the weather or our weekend plans. Then tragedy struck. 

    One morning, news of a car accident spread through the neighborhood. It was his wife, a vibrant woman, who was so loving and caring. Her passing was a shock that left us all numb.

    But for poor Mr. Harris, the world shattered. A familiar emptiness began to seep into our once lively street corner. We’d see him leave for work, his shoulders slumped, the twinkle gone from his eyes. The man who’d always been so active in the church, leading the choir with gusto, barely mustered a smile during services. The grief was palpable, a heavy cloak wrapped tightly around him.

    Weeks turned into months, and the toll on Mr. Harris became evident. He lost weight, his attitude towards life changed, and the spring in his step dwindled. This was a far cry from the upbeat man we knew, and it hurt to see him like that.

    Mr. Harris was drowning in grief, a man who had genuinely made people happy. This made me realize how unprepared we are for loss a lot of the time, especially when it comes to dealing with life on our own after decades of marriage.

    May this piece serve as a lighthouse for people in similar dark places, a guide for finding purpose again, and a glimmer of hope even in the middle of suffering.

    The Pain of Losing a Wife

    Losing a spouse is one of life’s most profound and heart-wrenching experiences. As widowers, you are thrust into a journey of grief and loss that can feel overwhelming and all-encompassing. 

    The pain of losing a beloved wife leaves an indelible mark on your heart, challenging you to navigate a new reality without the person who was once your partner, confidante, and best friend.

    In the words of C.S. Lewis, himself a widower: “No one ever told me that grief felt so like fear.” These words, I’m sure, would resonate deeply with anyone who has experienced the profound loss of a spouse. Grief can indeed feel like a constant companion, casting a shadow over even the brightest moments of your life.

    Yet, amid our sorrow, there is hope. Despite the pain, there is a path forward—a path that leads to finding purpose and joy again, even amid your grief. 

    Understanding Grief through a Christian Lens

    In your grief, it is essential to turn to the comfort offered by Scripture. The Bible offers profound insights into the nature of grief and loss, providing solace and hope to those mourning.

    Psalm 34:18 says, “The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” These words remind us that even in our darkest moments of despair, God is near. He sees our pain, hears our cries, and offers His unfailing love and compassion to sustain us. This verse also assures us that we are not alone in our grief; God walks beside us, offering comfort and healing to our broken hearts.

    Jesus Himself experienced profound grief at the death of His friend Lazarus, even though He knew that He would raise him from the dead (John 11:35). Grief is not a sign of weakness but of the depth of our love and the reality of our loss.

    Faith is also crucial in navigating the journey of grief; it sustains us during the darkest moments, reminding us of God’s promises and His presence with us. Through prayer, meditation on Scripture, and fellowship with other believers, you will find strength and comfort to face each day with hope and resilience.

    Also, you can take comfort in knowing that your grief is not the end of the story. Through our faith in Christ, we have the assurance of eternal life and the promise of ultimate restoration. 

    While the pain of losing a wife may never completely disappear, you can find hope in the knowledge that, one day, we will be reunited with our loved ones in the presence of God, where there will be no more tears or sorrow (Revelation 21:4).

    Dealing With Common Emotions Experienced by Widowers

    Grief: Grief is a natural response to the loss of a spouse, encompassing feelings of sadness, longing, and emptiness. But turn to God in prayer and seek comfort in His promises. 

    Remember that God is close to the brokenhearted and offers solace to those who mourn. Matthew 5:4 says, “Blessed are they that mourn: for they shall be comforted.”

    The loss of a spouse often leaves one feeling profoundly alone. Suddenly, the companionship and intimacy that once defined your life are gone, leaving a void that can feel insurmountable. Loneliness can be particularly severe during moments of solitude or when faced with reminders of your wife’s absence. 

    However, it is best to find companionship and support in God’s presence and through the community of fellow believers. Lean on the promise that God will never leave us nor forsake us. Hebrews 13:5 reminds us: “I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee.” 

    Confusion: Losing a spouse can also leave one feeling disoriented and bewildered, unsure of how to navigate this new reality. We may even find ourselves grappling with existential questions about the meaning of life and the purpose of our suffering. 

    For someone who’s just lost his wife, confusion can arise from the practical challenges of adjusting to life without her, such as managing household responsibilities or making important decisions alone. In moments of confusion, it is helpful to seek clarity and guidance through prayer and meditation on the Word of God and His promise to direct our paths (Proverbs 3:5-6).

    Anger: You may feel frustrated or resentful towards God, others, or yourself. You may also experience feelings of resentment towards your circumstances or your late wife for leaving you behind. 

    Acknowledge and process these feelings of anger in healthy ways rather than suppressing or denying them.

    However, you should strive to express your emotions honestly and openly to God in prayer, knowing that He can handle your anger. Seek His peace and cultivate a heart of compassion and love.

    Ephesians 4:31-32 reminds us: “Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamor, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice; and be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.”

    Fear: The loss of a spouse can evoke feelings of fear and anxiety about the future—the fear of being alone, facing life’s challenges without your partner, or of what the future holds for your kids. 

    However, trust in God’s providence and sovereignty because He is in control of all things. By surrendering your fears to God in prayer and seeking His guidance and protection, you can find courage and peace to face the unknown with confidence.

    Rediscovering Joy in Everyday Moments

    While happiness is often dependent on external circumstances and fleeting moments of pleasure, joy is deeper and more enduring. Joy is a spiritual sense of contentment and fulfillment that transcends the ups and downs of life. It is a state of being rooted in faith and gratitude rather than in temporary pleasures or material possessions.

    In the context of grief, rediscovering joy does not mean that you will always feel happy or that your pain will disappear overnight. Instead, it means finding moments of peace, hope, and connection amidst the sorrow. It means recognizing the beauty and goodness that still exist in the world, even amid your grief.

    One common misconception about joy after the loss of a spouse is that it is somehow disrespectful to the memory of our loved ones. Some may feel guilty for experiencing moments of joy, fearing that it diminishes the significance of their loss or implies that they have moved on too quickly. 

    However, joy and grief are not mutually exclusive. It is possible to honor the memory of our spouse while still finding moments of joy in our lives.

    Another misconception is that joy can only be found in grand gestures or extraordinary experiences. In reality, joy often comes from the simplest of moments—a shared meal with loved ones, a walk in nature, or a quiet moment of reflection. 

    By embracing these everyday moments and finding gratitude in the small things, we can cultivate a deeper sense of joy that sustains us through the darkest times.

    Ultimately, rediscovering joy after the loss of a spouse is a journey—one that requires patience, resilience, and faith. It means allowing yourself to feel a wide range of emotions, including sadness and grief, while also remaining open to moments of joy and hope. 

    As Psalm 30:5 reminds us, “Weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning.” Even in your darkest moments, there is always the promise of joy on the horizon, waiting to be rediscovered in the everyday moments of life.

    How to Rekindle Joy in Your Daily Life

    1. Engage in Meaningful Activities: Finding joy in your daily life often involves engaging in activities that bring fulfillment and purpose. Whether by volunteering for a cause you’re passionate about, pursuing a hobby or creative outlet, or spending time in nature, investing your time and energy in meaningful activities can uplift your spirits and bring a sense of fulfillment. 

    These activities provide a welcome distraction from grief and offer opportunities for personal growth and connection with others.

    2. Connect with Others in the Community and Fellowship: Community and fellowship play a crucial role in cultivating joy after the loss of a spouse. Surrounding yourself with supportive friends, family members, and fellow believers can provide a sense of belonging and companionship during these difficult times. 

    Whether by joining a support group for widowers, participating in church activities, or simply spending time with loved ones, connecting with others who understand your journey can bring comfort, laughter, and a renewed sense of hope.

    3. Invest in Things You Love and Are Passionate About. Rediscovering joy also involves investing in activities and interests that bring you joy. Prioritizing self-care and self-expression is essential for maintaining emotional well-being. 

    By dedicating time and energy to things that bring you joy, you can nourish your soul and cultivate a sense of purpose and satisfaction in your daily life.

    4. Be thankful: Take time each day to reflect on God’s blessings in your life, no matter how small or seemingly insignificant they can be. Keep a gratitude journal where you write down things you’re thankful for daily. This will help shift your focus from what you’ve lost to what you still have. 

    By adopting an attitude of gratitude, you can cultivate a sense of contentment and joy that transcends your circumstances.

    5. Embrace Moments of Beauty and Wonder: In your moments of grief, remain open to moments of beauty and wonder in the world around you. 

    Whether by watching a sunrise, admiring a work of art, or savoring a delicious meal, allowing yourself to experience moments of joy and awe can uplift your spirits and remind you of the goodness that still exists in the world. 

    To every widower who may be struggling, I want you to know that you are not alone. Amid your pain and sorrow, there is hope. Though the road may seem long and the burden heavy, you have the strength through Christ to persevere. 

    Take comfort in knowing that God sees your tears, hears your prayers, and holds you close to His heart. Lean on God in your moments of weakness, for He is your refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble (Psalm 46:1).

    May you find peace amid your pain, strength amid your weakness, and hope amid your despair. You are loved, you are valued, and you are not alone.

    Photo Credit: ©Getty Images/OSTILL

    Emmanuel Abimbola is a creative freelance writer, blogger, and web designer. He is a devout Christian with an uncompromising faith who hails from Ondo State in Nigeria, West Africa. As a lover of kids, Emmanuel runs a small elementary school in Arigidi, Nigeria.

    Emmanuel Abimbola

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  • Don’t Add to the Noise

    Don’t Add to the Noise

    Jackie just gave birth to her son, and she didn’t feel too good about herself. All she wanted to do was stay in bed. She didn’t even want to care for her newborn baby. She was going through postpartum depression, or “baby blues,” a common medical condition associated with pregnancy.

    For three months, Jackie felt sad and lonely. She often cried and talked about her doubts about caring for her new baby. Her husband and in-laws quietly listened to her, allowing her to cry and unburden herself, while they cared for her and her baby. Although still feeling the baby blues, Jackie finally talked herself into going back to her church. Sensing her inner struggle, the women at the church decided to quietly sit with her and hold her hand. No one added to the noise in her head with their words of comfort and wisdom!

    However, Sin Can Be on Our Lips, Even When We Try to Help

    The story of Job is a perfect example of someone “hard pressed on every side” (2 Corinthians 4:8-9) When God allowed Satan to test Job’s godly character, Satan’s first attack was to kill all his children and take away his property (Job 1:1-19). Despite the loss, especially the death of all his children, Job acknowledged God’s authority over his life. He “tore his robe and shaved his head and fell on the ground and worshiped. And he said, “Naked I came from my mother’s womb, and naked shall I return. The Lord gave, and the Lord has taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord. In all this Job did not sin or charge God with wrong” (1:20-22). 

    But Satan wanted more, so God permitted him to test Job again, with the condition to spare his life. This time, Satan struck him with “loathsome sores from the sole of his foot to the crown of his head” (Job 2:7). Again, Job never complained to God about his condition, even after his wife prodded him with these words: “Do you still hold fast to your integrity? Curse God and die” (v.9).

    We have many choice words to say in our desperate moments. Claiming our intimacy with God, we spill our guts, including our frustration and anger in our situation, bringing all to God in prayer. But we tremble in our doubts, not sure if God really cares for us or sees and hears us to take us out of our pits. 

    In Job 3, we see Job speaking to God about his troubles and why it would have been better for him to have died at birth: “I am not at ease, nor am I quiet; I have no rest, but trouble comes” (v.26). In his struggling with God, he started to lose hope. “Therefore I will not restrain my mouth; I will speak in the anguish of my spirit; I will complain in the bitterness of my soul” (7:11). 

    We also have many choice words to say to others’ desperate moments. Just like Job’s wife, we want the sufferer to admit to some hidden offense or wrongdoing. In chapter 8, Bildad, one of Job’s friends, decided to give him some conscience-pricking words to jog his memory of any possible hidden offense to God: “Can papyrus grow where there is no marsh? Can reeds flourish where there is no water? While yet in flower and not cut down, they wither before any other plant. Such are the paths of all who forget God; the hope of the godless shall perish” (8:11-13). In short, “Where there’s smoke, there’s fire.” Surely, something wrong was done; hence, the suffering.

    Or we spout holiness with assurances of God’s promises, spoken when the sufferer is currently walking in “the valley of the shadow of death” and grappling with God’s goodness in the situation (Psalm 23). There is sometimes no listening power for the sufferer.

    Don’t Add to the Noise of the Suffering

    Jackie may have had choice words in her desperate moments, but the people who surrounded her didn’t add to the noise in her head. In the beginning, Job’s three friends did the same. “Now when Job’s three friends heard of all the evil that had come upon him, they came each from his own place… They made an appointment together to come to show him sympathy and comfort him. And when they saw him from a distance, they did not recognize him. And they raised their voices and wept, and they tore their robes and sprinkled dust on their heads toward heaven. And they sat with him on the ground seven days and seven nights, and no one spoke a word to him, for they saw that his suffering was very great” (vv.11-13).

    First, how many of us will be around for someone? We often make assurances that we will stand alongside our friends in times of need. But how many times do we really make good on our commitment? Job’s friends made an appointment to be there for him. 

    Second, are we sensitive enough to see the situation and wise enough to change our plan of action? We like to attack a problem, so we arm ourselves with our go-to verses and prayers. But Job’s friends recognized his condition from afar, so much so that it made them grieve. They decided to mourn for him.

    Third, are we willing to be still and offer quiet comfort and sympathy? Psalm 46:10 says, “Be still and know I am God.” Can we be still and let our suffering friend know that we are walking alongside him or her without even opening our mouths? Perhaps in the silence, we can focus on lifting our friend up in prayer. 

    Years after Jackie’s postpartum depression, a friend called her. The woman was a young mother of three. Her husband left her. Jackie talked to her husband and asked if they could stay with her friend. For seven days, they lived with Jackie’s friend and children. Jackie allowed her friend to grieve and talk while she was the quiet, listening presence. No sound came out of Jackie’s mouth. Jackie’s friend healed from her loss and grief and cannot thank her enough for what she did. 

    Don’t Add Noise to Your Own Suffering

    Job’s friends eventually turned oout to be miserable comforters to him, accusing him of wickedness and unrighteousness for his suffering. They were unable to restrain themselves from speaking. And Job did the same, questioning God for an answer to his suffering. 

    When God answered Job, he had to promise silence. “I have spoken once, and I will not answer; twice, but I will proceed no further” (Job 40:5). Job repented for his actions and acknowledged God’s majesty, and said, “I know that you can do all things, and that no purpose of yours can be thwarted… I had heard of you by the hearing of the ear, but now my eye sees you” (42:2,5). 

    The Apostle Paul said, “But we have this treasure in jars of clay, to show that the surpassing power belongs to God and not to us. We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not driven to despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed” (2 Corinthians 4:7-9). 

    And just like Job, we will go through many forms of suffering. We will get hit. We will get knocked down. But we can get up! As believers in Christ, we too have the power of the Holy Spirit living in us. He will give us the strength to overcome difficulties so that we are not overwhelmed and destroyed or feel desperate and alone. 

    God’s answer will come, but only when we learn to turn off the noise and keep ourselves from creating more noise so we can refocus our attention on God, remembering that Jesus is our certainty. Proverbs 17:27 says, “Whoever restrains his words has knowledge, and he who has a cool spirit is a man of understanding.”

    Now, be still and remain quiet in your suffering, and know God is at work! Then, see God’s hand of delivery and restoration. Just like He did for Job, it will be more than you can imagine!

    Photo Credit: ©Bogomil Mihaylov/Unsplash

    Luisa Collopy is an author, speaker and a women’s Bible study teacher. She also produces Mula sa Puso (From the Heart) in Tagalog (her heart language), released on FEBC Philippines stations. Luisa loves spending time with her family over meals and karaoke!

    Luisa Collopy

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  • Cherry Blossoms Are Edible: Easy Spring Recipes Using the Flower

    Cherry Blossoms Are Edible: Easy Spring Recipes Using the Flower

    Who doesn’t love cherry blossoms? Even ardent native plant advocates can’t help but admire their uncomplicated optimism. While native woodlands and gardens are still quietly waking, showing no more than the pale effervescence of spicebush and the silver buds of serviceberry, the white and pink froth of ornamental cherry season rolls across the land, a great and beautiful gift whose roots are East Asian. After the long months of winter, and after the suspended weeks that are technically spring but hardly effusive, the wonder of their imported arboreal eruption catches us all like a sudden exhalation. We’ve been holding our breath.

    Stand beneath the trees and wonder at their petals. And perhaps nibble one or two: These weeks taste like bitter almond and marzipan, and they will not last.

    Photography by Marie Viljoen.

    Above: Nanking cherries (Prunus tomentosa) bloom very early, on the heels of winter.
    Above: Prunus x subhirtella ‘Autumnalis Rosea’ follows a light, late fall bloom with showers of early spring flowers.

    Above: P. x subhirtella ‘Rosy Cloud’ behind (possible) P. yedoensis ‘Akebono’ at the Brooklyn Botanic Garden.

    Above: A weeping P. pendula ‘Yae-beni-shidare’.
    Above: P. x yedoensis at Green-Wood Cemetery in Brooklyn.
    Above: The ruffled blooms of ‘Kanzan’ cherries are the last to open in spring’s cherry blossom sequence.
    Above: Spring eggs, with cherry blossoms and chickweed.

    Chew a cherry blossom. The first impression is one of delicacy, followed quickly by bitterness. After a couple of seconds that is replaced by a strong transition to almond essence. It is fleeting. But pairing the blossoms with ingredients that do not overwhelm their distinctive flavor yields some surprising results.

    Above: Edible flowers transform treats into celebrations.

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  • How Does a Friend Love at All Times?

    How Does a Friend Love at All Times?

    Do you have a friend? Maybe you have lots of friends. Some you can call acquaintances, but many of us are blessed with friends who are “closer than a brother” (Proverbs 18:24). These are the people with whom we can share our most cherished dreams, as well as our deepest disappointments. These are the people we love and trust, and we would do just about anything for them.

    Proverbs 17:17 says, “A friend loves at all times. And a brother is born for adversity.” What does this verse mean?

    Who Wrote This Proverb and to Whom?

    The book of Proverbs is, in essence, a collection of wise sayings throughout thirty-one chapters. King Solomon almost exclusively penned the book, but chapters thirty and thirty-one were written by Agur, and King Lemuel, respectively (see Proverbs 1:1, 30:1, and 31:1). Proverbs are short and concise, and they illustrate enduring truth and insight.

    In Proverbs 1:4, we are introduced to its purpose and general audience, “to give prudence to the simple, knowledge and discretion to the youth.” Proverbs 1:8 shows us the specific audience as Solomon states, “Hear, my son, your father’s instruction, and forsake not your mother’s teaching.”

    What Does This Proverb Mean?

    What we gather from Solomon’s words throughout Proverbs is that consequences are conditional on the student’s (son’s) decision to abide by the instruction. There are commands and also “words to the wise” within the Proverbs. Proverbs 2:1-5 tells us that if the hearer receives the teacher’s words and attends to wisdom and understanding, then he will “understand the fear of the Lord and find the knowledge of God.” This condition aids our understanding of the verse which says a friend loves at all times and a brother is born for adversity.

    We are shown the difference here between a friend and a brother. A loving friend is an unceasing source of that love. A sibling may or may not be as close, yet shows up in times of trouble. Therefore, friends are constant and a brother, while present in a time of calamity, is not always available.

    What Is a Friend, and in What Way Does a Friend Love?

    Let’s define the word friend. First we need to remember that being a friend is a choice, while being a brother is not. Being born into a family doesn’t necessarily make siblings friends (as so many of us can attest).

    According to Logos’ William J. Ireland, Jr., “friendship may be simple association (Genesis 38:12; 2 Samuel 15:37) or loving companionship, the most recognizable example being that between David and Saul’s son, Jonathan (1 Samuel 18:1, 3; 20:17; 2 Samuel 1:26).”

    The Bible uses the word love in four main ways:

    Agape is an unconditional, everlasting, and sacrificial love. When Scripture tells us of God’s love for us (John 3:16, 1 John 3:1, e.g.), it’s agape (perfect) love. So too is a husband’s love for his wife (and a wife’s for her husband).

    Storge is described as familial love.

    Eros is romantic love between a husband and his wife (and a wife and her husband).

    Phileo is a love between close friends.

    People in general tend to involve their friends in all aspects of their lives. In this sense, a friend is prepared for what may happen in another friend’s life. This is not always so with families. When we “leave the nest,” so to speak, it’s usual to become independent of our parents and siblings. We cling to friends who have common interests, cheering for each other in successes and coming alongside when failures occur.

    A true Christian friend loves by:

    – Praying

    – Being available 24/7

    – Listening (Families, who “knew us when,” lean toward solving our problems before we finish speaking)

    – Being open and vulnerable and allowing the same

    – Understanding when solitary time is needed by their friend

    – Staying in contact

    – Doing all he or she can to help/support their friend as they grow in the grace and knowledge of Christ

    – Celebrating our successes

    – Grieving our losses

    – Gently correcting us

    – Accepting correction

    The list is long, and more can be added, but this is a good starting point. Jesus added weight to our understanding of what a true friend is when He said, “Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends” (John 15:13). Isn’t that the ultimate love, and isn’t that what Jesus did for us? (see John 3:16)

    Solomon continues his discourse on good character versus evil and foolish people. The maxims may seem random, but when they are measured together, there exists a theme. The overarching purpose of this book is teaching a person (a youth, a son) what living in wisdom looks like. Solomon asked the Lord for wisdom (1 Kings 3:5-15), and the book of Proverbs is a result of what the Lord gave him.

    What About When Our Friends Annoy Us?

    Annoyance is inevitable in any relationship, even the most loving. We are selfish by nature and even though as Christians we are new creations in Christ (2 Corinthians 5:17), sanctification is an ongoing process. We won’t be the best, most loving friend until glory, because we are still sinners. And sinners can and do annoy others, because, well, we want what we want.

    Realizing all of this, however, we are to be conformed to Christ. Whether we are annoying or are annoyed by others, we must react with Christlike patience, gentleness, and all the other fruit of the Spirit as outlined in Galatians 5:22-23. The best way to love your friend is to love the Lord first, and then your friend(s) (Luke 10:27).

    How Can a Friend Lovingly Correct When We Need That?

    Sometimes we discover our friend has erred in some way. It could be a theological error or it could be an action done by a friend that either has or might affect themselves and/or others. If another person shares a problem about/with your friend, the best course of action is to always ask your friend for their side of the account. Remember to go to them with an open and soft heart, yet having prayed for discernment. Listen and – if the situation warrants a correction based on your friend’s confession of wrongdoing – answer with grace and love. Always seek their best.

    If a friend comes to you and admits a sin, the first thing to do is pray silently for the Lord’s help. Tell your friend you love them and want to support and help them through this time. Ask them if they have first confessed to the Lord and repented of their actions. If they haven’t, you can pray with them. They may need your help with prayer especially if it’s the first time this has happened to them. Then remind them of 1 John 1:9, that if we confess our sins, God is faithful and just. He will forgive us and cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

    In no way should you place yourself in a lofty position because the Bible tells us to be humble and to consider others as more significant than ourselves (Philippians 2:3).

    Of course, we would expect the same from a friend if we are in the wrong.

    Friendship with Unbelievers

    Believing friends are a treasure. But what about friendship with unbelievers? By all means, enjoy friendships with people who do not know the Lord, but be careful not to conform to their world (Romans 12:2). As you should every day, put on your full spiritual armor (Ephesians 6:13-18) before heading out to socialize with an unsaved friend. Interacting with people who do not love the Lord gives us the opportunity as God’s ambassadors to share the Gospel with them (2 Corinthians 5:20). Make the best use of your time with believing and unbelieving friends, for the days are evil (Ephesians 5:16).

    A Prayer for a Believing Friend

    Lord Jesus,

    I thank You for my friend, _________. She is such an example to me as she loves You above all else and reflects Christ by how she loves me. I pray, Father, for Your will in her life, that she would always seek Your face and abide in our Lord Jesus. Help me to be the kind of friend You have created me to be, always praying for her and modeling a sacrificial life. All this I pray for Your glory and for our good,

    Amen.

    A Prayer for an Unbelieving Friend

    Father God,

    You have placed this friend in my life for a reason. I know, Father, that I am to be a clear and godly reflection of my Lord, Jesus Christ. Help me to do that well, so when my friend sees me, she would want to know why I love as I do. If it’s Your will, Lord, please use me to bring her to Your saving grace. This is not my doing, but it’s all by You and for You. It’s my joy to be Your child. I pray the same for my friend. I thank You and pray in Jesus’ name,

    Amen.

    Photo credit: ©Getty Images/PeopleImages

    Lisa Loraine Baker is the multiple award-winning author of Someplace to be Somebody. She writes fiction and nonfiction. In addition to writing for the Salem Web Network, Lisa serves as a Word Weavers’ mentor and is part of a critique group. She also is a member of BRRC. Lisa and her husband, Stephen, a pastor, live in a small Ohio village with their crazy cat, Lewis. 

    Lisa Loraine Baker

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  • COCONUT WACKY CAKE

    COCONUT WACKY CAKE

    Wacky Cakes are also known as Depression Era Cakes since they don’t use any eggs, butter, or milk. This Coconut Wacky Cake is one of our favorites!

    Coconut Wacky CakeCoconut Wacky Cake

    If you are a fan of Wacky Cakes, you will want to try this chocolate version. It’s simple and delicious.

    ❤️WHY WE LOVE THIS RECIPE

    Coconut wacky cake has no eggs, butter or milk in the cake and it still comes out as a delicious dessert.  It does not seem possible that this cake is so good without those items.  It seems to have originated sometime during the great depression when ingredients were so hard to obtain.  I make this cake in a 9 x 9 cake pan but you can double it if you want a bigger cake.  It keeps well in a cool spot.  I love that you don’t have to add eggs and it is so easy to make.

    🍴KEY INGREDIENTS

    • All Purpose Flour
    • Granulated Sugar
    • Baking soda
    • Salt
    • Water
    • Vegetable Oil
    • Vanilla Extract
    • White Vinegar
    • Shredded Sweetened Coconut
    • Frosting Ingredients
    • Powdered sugar
    • Butter
    • Vanilla Extract
    • Water
    • Shredded Sweetened Coconut

    🍽️HOW TO MAKE

    This cake is very simple and super easy to make! The frosting is sweet, but very good and a little of this cake goes a long way. That is why we love that it’s made in a 9X9, it’s perfect for a small gathering.

    Step 1
    Whisk together the flour, sugar, baking soda and salt.  Add the water, vegetable oil, vanilla extract and white vinegar and stir well with a spoon. 

    Step 2
    Fold in the coconut.  Spray a 9 x 9 baking dish with cooking spray and spread batter in dish.  Bake in a preheated 375 degree oven 30 to 35 minutes until the center tests done.  Let cool and add frosting below.

    Frosting Instructions:
    Beat first four ingredients with a mixer until of spreading consistency. Fold in coconut with a spoon.

    Notes: I added another 1/4 cup of toasted, shredded coconut sprinkled over the top but this is optional.  To toast the 1/4 cup of shredded coconut, spread on a saucer and microwave for about a minute and a half until toasted checking to make sure it is not burning after one minute.

    ⭐TIP

    We use sweetened coconut in this recipe but you can easily use unsweetened if you prefer.

    OTHER COCONUT RECIPES

    If you know our website you know we are a huge fan of coconut cakes and have many on our site. Here are a few of our most popular!

    • Easy Sour Cream Coconut Cake – This cake is our most popular for a reason! Yes, it’s made with a mix, but you would never know and it’s the perfect addition to any gathering. It’s especially popular for Easter and Christmas!
    • Do Nothing Cake – This cake is super easy to make, you don’t even need a mixer! It’s an excellent old fashioned recipe.
    • Coconut Cake with Coconut Frosting – This is a classic for a reason and probably a cake your Grandmother made!
    • Lazy Daisy Oatmeal Cake – This cake has a delicious coconut frosting and it’s a classic for a reason! It is the perfect potluck cake!

    STORING, REHEATING & SERVING SIZE

    We store this covered on the counter and a 9X9 is about 9 servings.

    Coconut Wacky Cake

    Anne Walkup

    This Coconut Wacky cake is so easy and it’s a depression era cake. It has no milk, butter or eggs and it still comes out delicious! Made in a 9X9 and super easy!

    Prep Time 5 minutes

    Cook Time 30 minutes

    Total Time 35 minutes

    Course Cake, Dessert

    Cuisine American

    Cake Ingredients:

    • 1 cup all-purpose flour
    • 3/4 cup white granulated sugar
    • 1 teaspoon baking soda
    • 1/4 teaspoon salt
    • 3/4 cup water
    • 1/4 cup vegetable oil
    • 2 teaspoons vanilla extract
    • 1 1/2 teaspoons white vinegar
    • 1/2 cup shredded coconut

    Frosting Ingredients:

    • 1 1/2 cups powdered sugar
    • 2 tablespoons butter softened
    • 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
    • 2 to 3 tablespoons water
    • 1/2 cup shredded coconut

    Cake Directions:

    • Whisk together the flour, sugar, baking soda and salt. Add the water, vegetable oil, vanilla extract and white vinegar and stir well with a spoon. Fold in the coconut.

    • Spray a 9 x 9 baking dish with cooking spray and spread batter in dish. Bake in a preheated 375 degree oven 30 to 35 minutes until the center tests done. Let cool and add frosting.

    I added another 1/4 cup of toasted, shredded coconut sprinkled over the top but this is optional. To toast the 1/4 cup of shredded coconut, spread on a saucer and microwave for about a minute and a half until toasted checking to make sure it is not burning after one minute.

    Keyword Coconut Wacky Cake

    Let us know by commenting below!

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    © The Southern Lady Cooks photos and text – All rights reserved. No copying, posting on other sites, or other uses allowed without written permission of the copyright holder.

    Anne Walkup

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  • Practical Ways to Love Someone with PTSD

    Practical Ways to Love Someone with PTSD

    PTSD is the abbreviation for post-traumatic stress disorder. There is also another form of PTSD known as CPTSD. This stands for complex post-traumatic stress disorder. There are many people across the world who either struggle with PTSD or CPTSD. The former is more linked with war veterans; however, the latter is more connected with those who have undergone repeated traumatic experiences, such as being abused as a child, sexually abused by a partner, or verbally abused by a caregiver.

    While CPTSD has not been officially recognized by the DSM (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders), it is a very real mental health disorder. The DSM is not fully correct in many of its diagnoses; therefore, it is best not to rely on this as the sole indicator of someone’s diagnosis. As an example, the DSM has recently added narcissistic personality disorder as a mental health condition when it is not technically a disorder. If someone is a narcissist, it is because of sin—not because of a disorder.

    It is funny how they will add narcissistic personality disorder as a mental health disorder when they won’t add disorders such as CPTSD. Similarly, the DSM also invalidates those with eating disorders since they base the diagnosis on weight rather than behaviors. As we can see, the DSM is not the best place to go when trying to find help with a proper diagnosis or how to get better from your mental health concerns. Instead, it is better to be knowledgeable about these things from your own research and from real help from doctors who care.

    Helping Someone With PTSD/C-PTSD

    Photo Credit: ©iStock/Getty Images Plus/AsiaVision

    The best things you can do to help your loved one with PTSD or CPTSD are to be knowledgeable about the disorder, actively listen, and be there for them. There will be days when it is really hard for them, which will show in your relationship with them. If your parent, friend, or spouse is struggling with PTSD or CPTSD, know that the disorder can cause them to have some symptoms that can change the way they interact with you. Remember that your loved one has gone through something traumatic, and it cannot be fixed overnight. It might take many years or even a lifetime for someone to make progress in healing from their traumatic experiences.

    Be patient with them and extend grace to them. PTSD and CPTSD can cause a variety of symptoms, such as flashbacks, nightmares, unwanted memories, difficulty expressing emotions, emotional withdrawal, feeling bad about themselves, feeling unworthy, dissociation, depression, anger, anxiety, being easily startled, and suicidal ideation. Your loved one struggling with PTSD or CPTSD needs you to be caring, understanding, and there for them even when it is hard. Each of these symptoms can come upon them unexpectedly and cause them significant distress. It is not all in their heads, nor is it something they can stop from happening.

    If you want to be there for your loved one, listen to them without judgment. Be okay with just sitting beside them and listening. It is alright if you don’t know what to say to help. Often, just listening to and being there for them is more than enough. If they ask for your help, advice, or thoughts, be encouraging and helpful. Validate their feelings and reassure them of your love for them. This can go a long way for them and help them not feel as alone in their struggles.

    Don’t Take Things Personally

    Another thing you can do to help your loved one with PTSD or CPTSD is to not take things personally. Due to flashbacks, feelings of unworthiness, anger, and nightmares, many individuals struggling with PTSD or CPTSD can take it out on their loved ones or say something that might hurt them. Additionally, if your loved one went through abuse that was related to a partner, it might be hard to listen to them say positive things about their abuser. Understand that this is part of trauma bonding, especially if they have CPTSD. This happens often for those who were mentally, physically, emotionally, or sexually abused.

    Those who have traditional PTSD might not experience trauma bonding; however, if your loved one has CPTSD, it is best to be aware of trauma bonding, especially if you are dating, engaged, or married to someone with CPTSD. Understand that although they may still have feelings for their abuser, it is not based on love or mutual love. Your partner may have loved them, but their abuser did not. A person who truly loves another person would never abuse them in any form or in any way. This can be hard for those with CPTSD to understand or accept; try your best not to take things personally when they talk about their abuser in a positive way.

    Remember that they have chosen to be with you, and this means a lot. Fears of them leaving or returning to their abuser can creep into your mind, and it might happen, but try to do your best always to remind your loved one that you love them, care about them, and want to help them in the best ways you know how. Even if your loved one does return to the abuser, know that it was nothing you did. CPTSD is very complicated, and it can be challenging for the person struggling with it to fully understand their own feelings. Choose to continue to be there for them because you love them.

    Taking Care of Yourself

    Lastly, you can help your loved one with PTSD or CPTSD by taking care of yourself. While this might sound cliche, it is very important. If you don’t take care of yourself, you won’t be able to care for your loved one. Most likely, you are going through some struggles of your own. Maybe you are feeling insecure in your relationship, or you are going through depression, anxiety, or another personal issue. Remember to take care of yourself and engage in proper self-care. Self-care doesn’t have to be bubble baths or taking yourself out on a shopping spree.

    Instead, self-care can be going for a walk, listening to music, or reading. Any of these things can help you rest and relax for a little bit. It is important not to let your entire life be drained, especially if you are a caregiver of a child or an adolescent who has PTSD or CPTSD. Allow yourself time to have self-care, and do not neglect taking a day off when you need time away. If you are in a relationship with someone with PTSD or CPTSD, also remember to take time to do things you enjoy and get your mind off things that might have been hurtful or said in a way that your partner didn’t mean.

    Whether your loved one struggles with PTSD or CPTSD, it is important to get them the help they need, as well as you need to take care of yourself. If your loved one is not interested in seeking help right now, continue to pray for them and be there for them. Encourage them to seek out professional help, but don’t be pushy. If you are pushy, it could push them away from ever seeking help and possibly from talking with you about it ever again.

    Be kind, considerate, and validating of their feelings. Those who struggle with PTSD or CPTSD are not prone to share their feelings or their past experiences with just anyone. They have shared their feelings and past traumatic experiences with you for a reason. They trust you. Don’t abuse this trust.

    Keep being there for them, listen to them, and love them. While it can be hard at times, continue to do your best to be there for them. Above all, remember your loved one is the same person you have always known and adored. Underneath the pain and traumatic experiences, they are still someone who is your best friend, your sibling, your parent, or your partner.

    Photo credit: ©Getty Images/Hispanolistic

    Vivian BrickerVivian Bricker loves Jesus, studying the Word of God, and helping others in their walk with Christ. She has earned a Bachelor of Arts and Master’s degree in Christian Ministry with a deep academic emphasis in theology. Her favorite things to do are spending time with her family and friends, reading, and spending time outside. When she is not writing, she is embarking on other adventures.

    Vivian Bricker

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  • OZARK PUDDING – OLD FASHIONED RECIPE

    OZARK PUDDING – OLD FASHIONED RECIPE

    This Ozark Pudding has a cake-like consistency and is made with apples and pecans. It’s delicious, topped with ice cream!

    Ozark Pudding

    If you love easy recipes and want another great one, definitely check out this delicious Cinnamon Flop Cake. It’s one of our favorites.

    ❤️WHY WE LOVE THIS RECIPE

    Ozark pudding is supposed to have been a favorite of President Harry Truman and his wife, Bess, made it for him often.  I don’t know why it is called pudding because it is more like a light, fluffy cake filled with apples and nuts.  I have tweaked the recipe a little and my family loves it with whipped cream or ice cream on top.  If you need a quick dessert that will really go over big with friends and family try this one because it is so good and so easy to make.  If you like cinnamon, apples and nuts, you will love this Ozark pudding cake.  It never lasts long at my house.

    🍴KEY INGREDIENTS

    • Butter
    • Sugar
    • Eggs
    • Vanilla
    • All Purpose Flour
    • Baking Powder
    • Salt
    • Gound Cinnamon
    • Chopped Apples
    • Walnuts

    🍽️HOW TO MAKE

    This Ozark Pudding is really easy to put together, so it’s a great dessert for a small group. We made it in a round pie plate, and it’s the perfect size.

    Step 1
    Cream butter, brown sugar, eggs and vanilla with a mixer.  In another bowl whisk together flour, baking powder, salt and cinnamon.  

    Step 2
    Add to creamed mixture and mix until all ingredients are wet.  Fold in chopped apples with a spoon.

    Step 3
    Spray a 9 inch deep dish pie plate with cooking spray.  Pour in batter and sprinkle chopped nuts on top. (You can fold nuts into batter if you want)

    Step 4
    Bake in a preheated 350 degree oven for 30 to 35 minutes testing center to see if done.  Serve with ice cream or whipped cream on top while warm from the oven.

    ⭐TIP

    You could use pecans in this recipe too. Any apples will work in this recipe!

    Ozark PuddingOzark Pudding

    OTHER APPLE DESSERTS

    If you are new to our site we must inform you.. we LOVE apple recipes. Here are a few of our favorites. We probably have over 50 so use the search box to look around.

    • Fresh Apple Cake – This delicious cake is topped with cream cheese frosting and it’s amazing! Great for any occasion.
    • Southern Apple Pie – This classic apple pie is always a winner! Easy to make too.
    • Pumpkin Apple Cake – This cake has nutmeg frosting and is the best Fall cake! Wonderful reviews and perfect for Thanksgiving.
    • Crescent Roll Apple Dumplings – This is a dessert that has been around a very long time and so easy too.

    SERVE THIS WITH

    We love this served with whipped cream or ice cream. We also like to serve it warm and find that it’s just as good the next day.

    STORING, REHEATING & SERVING SIZE

    We store this covered and in a cool place. Just reheat a slize in the microwave if you like it warm, but it’s good room temperature too. This is made in a 9 inch pie plate so it makes 6-8 servings.

    Ozark Pudding

    Leigh Walkup

    Ozark Pudding it an old fashioned recipe made with apples, cinnamon and nuts. It has more of a cake like texture and it’s delicious topped with ice cream.

    Prep Time 15 minutes

    Cook Time 35 minutes

    Total Time 50 minutes

    Course Dessert

    Cuisine American, southern

    • 4 tablespoons butter softened
    • 1 cup brown sugar
    • 2 eggs
    • 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
    • 1/2 cup all-purpose flour
    • 2 teaspoons baking powder
    • 1/2 teaspoon salt
    • 1 teaspoon ground cinnamon
    • 1 1/2 cups peeled and chopped apples I use 2 medium sized Gala apples
    • 1 cup chopped walnuts

    • Cream butter, brown sugar, eggs and vanilla with a mixer.  In another bowl whisk together flour, baking powder, salt and cinnamon.

    • Add to creamed mixture and mix until all ingredients are wet.  Fold in chopped apples with a spoon.  Spray a 9 inch deep dish pie plate with cooking spray.

    • Pour in batter and sprinkle chopped nuts on top. (You can fold nuts into batter if you want) Bake in a preheated 350 degree oven for 30 to 35 minutes testing center to see if done.  Serve with ice cream or whipped cream on top while warm from the oven.

    Let us know by commenting below!

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    Leigh Walkup

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