Tag: Premature Ejaculation

5 Products to Delay Your Climax and Make PE a Thing of the Past

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Screw You, PE — Here Are 5 Useful Products to Help Delay Your Climax

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Encountering any sort of physical dysfunction during sex is a very vulnerable experience.

Here you are, trying to have a nice, intimate time with someone, and your body is sabotaging the experience. What did you do to deserve this?

Premature ejaculation, commonly shortened to PE, is no different. Ejaculation — given that it usually happens when you’re experiencing an orgasm — is supposed to be a happy, pleasurable moment.

But when it happens before you’re ready, it can feel like a betrayal. You lose control of your physical self and all of a sudden experience the post-orgasmic comedown in a negative way. Instead of the high of climax, you get the sexual version of a bad trip.

It’s no surprise that people who experience PE one too many times start looking for solutions to the problem. And while the solution to cumming too fast is often a question of training and practice, there are also products on the market designed specifically to help you overcome the problem.

RELATED: Tips for Curing Premature Ejaculation

However, because the customer is often someone freaking out over something and desperate for a quick fix, the field of sex products is rife with brands that make big promises and don’t deliver. In order to ensure you don’t get swindled, here are AskMen’s picks for the best solutions for preventing PE on the market.

Basic Premature Ejaculation Facts

Many people associate PE with inexperience or youth, and there is some truth to that — it’s common to find that your experience of PE goes away over time as you become more experienced in bed.

However, it’s not strictly something that happens to teenagers or virgins. A number of different factors can impact how long it takes you to ejaculate, including physical and psychological factors.

RELATED: How Long Does It Take Men To Ejaculate?

And because PE is defined as when someone ejaculates before they want to — not after a set amount of time — what counts as PE can vary greatly from person to person. Ultimately, if you have a penis and can ejaculate, it’s possible to experience PE, and a significant amount of guys do at some point or other in their lives.

While it can be surprising when one’s partner cums quickly, it doesn’t make you a bad lover on its own. If you’re able to handle it without getting too bummed out and turn the focus to your partner, it can still be an enjoyable time for all.

How Ejaculation Control Products Work

Most ejaculation-control products on the market work by exposing the skin on the penis to lidocaine, a numbing agent that’s commonly used as a local anesthetic by dentists.

Since you won’t be able to feel the sensation of penetration (or oral, or manual stimulation) as intensely while experiencing the numbing effects of the lidocaine, it’ll prevent you from climaxing as quickly — or in some cases, at all.

RELATED: Premature Ejaculation Myths, Debunked

If your issues with ejaculation are more related to psychological factors than physical ones, the below products may not help as much. However, if PE is genuinely impacting your ability to properly enjoy sex, it may be worth a shot to try one of these options and see if it helps.

Best Products to Prevent Premature Ejaculation

Roman Swipes

While many of the most popular delay options on the market today come in spray form, Roman Swipes are condom-sized wipes that you can use on your penis before sex in order to numb it. In addition to working well, their portability makes them a great choice for guys.

$17.00 at Ro.co

Promescent Delay Spray

Promescent might be the top delay spray out there, and if you’re having sex mainly at home — or you don’t mind carrying a small spray bottle with you on your dates — it’s a great option for anyone experiencing PE.

$22.95 at Promescent.com

Dynamo Delay Spray

Priced at just a touch more than two-thirds of the previous product, Dynamo’s delay spray is a solid option for guys who are dealing with PE issues but don’t have a huge budget for addressing them.

$15.95 at AdamEve.com

Swiss Navy Endurance Rx Spray

While Swiss Navy is more known for their lubricants, it’s no surprise to see them experimenting with another form of sex-related liquids. Their entry into the delay spray market boasts that it’s “pH balanced” and “non-greasy.”

$20.45 at Walmart.com

K-Y Duration Gel

Prefer a gel to a spray? K-Y’s got you covered with their Duration Gel, which, like Roman Swipes, uses benzocaine instead of lidocaine. It’s compatible with latex condoms and comes in a pump format.

$13.54 at Walmart.com

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Premature Ejaculation

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Ian Stobber

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December 16, 2022
Ejaculation Problems
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Are ejaculation problems an issue of mind over matter?

Well, if men and their partner don’t mind how long it takes them to ejaculate, then it really doesn’t matter. For example, Ian Kerner, PhD, a sex therapist and author of She Comes First, advises men to bring their partners to the brink of orgasm before having intercourse. Then, if he’s prone to premature ejaculation, it doesn’t matter since both of them come away satisfied.

Conversely, if a man takes longer than average to ejaculate, but both partners enjoy marathon sex sessions, then delayed ejaculation can be a real plus.

However, some men do mind how long it takes them to ejaculate — and so do their partners. But while the mind often plays a big role in creating ejaculation problems, it’s also key in overcoming them. Here are some tips on what to do.

Common Ejaculation Problems

There are three mainthings that can go wrong with ejaculation:

Premature ejaculation is by far the biggest complaint that men have about their sexual performance. After studying data gathered by the National Health and Social Life Survey, sociologist Edward Laumann, PhD, estimated that a third of American men complain that they ejaculate too quickly. They want to last longer during intercourse to prolong the pleasure, both for themselves and their partners.

Delayed ejaculation affects a much smaller number of men — as few as 3%, according to some estimates. It’s one of the most poorly understood ejaculation problems. Some men cannot reach orgasm at all, at least not with a partner.

Retrograde ejaculation is the least common of the ejaculation problems. It causes semen to back into the bladder during orgasm instead of exiting by way of the penis. The semen is then later flushed out when you urinate.
Retrograde ejaculation can be caused by diabetes, nerve damage, various medications, and surgery that disturbs the sphincter muscle. It’s harmless and won’t interfere with the feeling of orgasm. (It can also make for an easy post-sex clean-up.) But since it does affect fertility, some men may need treatment if their partners are trying to get pregnant.
What Causes Delayed Ejaculation?

There are lots of different reasons for delayed ejaculation. Some medicines — like antidepressants — can cause it. For many men, it happens due to age. As we grow older, the nerve endings in the penis become less sensitive, says Barbara Keesling, PhD, author of All Night Long: How to Make Love to a Man Over 50, and a professor of human sexuality at the California State University, Fullerton.

“When the reflexes slow down, it takes longer,” Keesling says. “Another thing that happens with age is that your erection ability goes down too, so it becomes more difficult to ejaculate without a full erection.”

You may also have a hand in your delayed ejaculation problem. By adopting a masturbation technique that involves intense pressure, friction and speed, some men train themselves to respond to a level of stimulation no partner could duplicate — at least not without coaching, which the man usually is reluctant to provide.

Michael A. Perelman, PhD, a sex and marital therapist in New York, says he sometimes recommends a masturbation moratorium for men delayed orgasm. This does more than stop the practices that may be contributing to the problem. It also allows a build-up of sexual desire, which provides “a mechanism for reducing the threshold of arousal necessary for orgasm,” Perelman says.

But while masturbation can cause delayed ejaculation, it can also aid in the cure. If a guy won’t agree to keep his hands off, Perelman will urge him at least to alter his masturbation style — to switch hands, for example — in order to break old habits. The problem is that your tried-and-true, quick-and-dirty masturbation style is probably terrible practice for sex with another person.

So instead of just masturbating efficiently to achieve orgasm, Perelman encourages men to fantasize about a sexual experience with their partner while they masturbate. He tells them to try “to approximate, in terms of speed, pressure and technique, the stimulation he likely will experience through manual, oral, or vaginal stimulation with his partner.” It might take a little longer, but it makes masturbation more of a “dress rehearsal” for sex. You can also talk to your partner about your fantasy afterwards, Perelman suggests.

Premature Ejaculation Cure: Self-Love

So what about the much more common problem of premature ejaculation? In this case, masturbation can be just the ticket. Having repeated orgasms will bring on delayed ejaculation in almost any guy. Some believe that the best premature ejaculation tip is to double the number of orgasms a man has per week. And if that doesn’t work, to double it again.

There’s some evidence to support this folk remedy.

“Young men with a short refractory period may often experience a second and more controlled ejaculation during an episode of lovemaking,” says Chris G. McMahon, MD, in a 2004 study published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine.

Masturbation may also help men learn to control their level of arousal, which is essential for delaying orgasm.

Other Ways to Treat Premature Ejaculation

One time-honored technique for premature ejaculation is to distract yourself — to think about something boring or even disgusting to delay your orgasm. While this may work for some, it has the unfortunate side effect of distancing men from their partners and the sexual experience.

There’s also an obvious alternative: pull out and stop having sex for a few minutes to postpone orgasm. Sex researchers William Masters and Virginia Johnson elaborated on this when they developed the “squeeze-pause” technique, also known as the “penis grip,” to quell the desire to climax. As the name implies, this involves squeezing the head of the penis as orgasm approaches.

Perelman teaches men a variation of the Masters and Johnson technique. It involves slowing themselves down and altering their movements in a way that maximizes their partner’s pleasure. They do this while maintaining their erection but without overexciting themselves.

Antidepressants for Premature Ejaculation?

For men who aren’t helped by any of these techniques, there’s a pharmaceutical option. Since some antidepressants — selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors, or SSRIs — are known to cause delayed ejaculation, researchers tried them as a way to treat premature ejaculation. It typically takes 2-3 weeks to get the full effects from SSRIs. If you stop treatment, symptoms will return.

A short-acting SSRI called dapoxetine has been developed specifically for premature ejaculation. According to a 2006 study published in The Lancet, when taken one to three hours before sex, the drug increased the time from penetration to ejaculation from 1.75 minutes to 2.78 minutes for men treated with 30 milligrams of the drug. Men who got 60 milligrams lasted 3.32 minutes.

“A couple of minutes may not sound like much, but for these guys it was huge,” said the lead author of the study, Jon L. Pryor, MD, when the results were published in September 2006. However, dapoxetine has not been approved by the FDA and is not available in the United States.

Instead of drugs, some men use a desensitizing cream to delay orgasm. There’s an even simpler solution: double up your condoms to reduce your stimulation. For some men, behavioral and psychological therapies also help. Combining therapy and medication seems to be more effective than just taking medication.

Treating Ejaculation Problems

Whatever your ejaculation problem, there are solutions. The key is to get help. And we don’t just mean from a doctor, although that’s important — ejaculation problems can be signs of more serious medical issues, after all.

But you also need to talk openly with your partner — something that many men are loath to do.

“Almost universally, men [with ejaculation problems] fail to communicate their preferences for stimulation to either their doctor or their partners, because of shame, embarrassment, or ignorance,” Perelman tells WebMD.

So don’t stay mum and let shame or male pride ruin your sex life (and your partner’s). Letting that tension build up will just make things worse. With some openness, some discussion, and maybe a few fun new techniques in the bedroom, you can overcome your ejaculation problem. That means less worry and more sex.

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November 16, 2022
Finishing Prematurely? These Tricks Can Help

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Finishing Prematurely? These Tricks Can Help

The AskMen editorial team thoroughly researches & reviews the best gear, services and staples for life. AskMen may get paid if you click a link in this article and buy a product or service.

Is your penis a little quick on the trigger, so to speak? Do you pop off before you want to? Have you seen the look of disappointment on your partner’s face as you prematurely end the fun? Don’t freak out — you’re not alone. As many as one in three men experience premature ejaculation at some point in their lives. It’s so normal, in fact, that the Mayo Clinic regards premature ejaculation as a “common sexual complaint” and insists, as long as it happens once every so often, you have nothing to worry about.

RELATED: Everything You Need to Know About Premature Ejaculation

“We actually diagnose ‘rapid’ ejaculation now, not premature,” says Nicole Prause, Ph.D, scientist at Liberos. “Many men who identify themselves as coming too quickly actually are not faster to orgasm than other men when tested, so the first thing to consider if you are concerned is whether your experiences might be normal.”

While there isn’t exactly a golden rule to help diagnose me with rapid ejaculation, Prause says you shouldn’t be concerned if you’re only having penetrative vaginal intercourse for two minutes prior to orgasm. In fact, you should only really deem it an issue if you find yourself nearly always ejaculating within one minute of penetration, are unable to delay ejaculation and/or feel frustrated to the point where you avoid sexual intimacy altogether. At that point, it may be worth a trip to the doctor for a legitimate diagnosis.

Prause assures that if you want to increase your latency to ejaculation, you will be able to do so with treatment. “Most men reporting this difficulty are actually lasting within the ‘normal’ range,” she shares, noting that if you have sex with women, most won’t desire long, rapid pounding intercourse, as it rarely leads to climax.

“You may develop better skills in oral sex, slower touching, and similar positive sex habits due to having a shorter ejaculation latency that make you a superior lover,” she adds.

If you are still concerned that you may have issues with finishing too quickly during sex, read below on what might be the cause (and see how it’s best treated).

What Causes Men to Cum Too Fast?

“There is some evidence that men with rapid ejaculation are more sensitive in their genitalia and more responsive to visual sexual stimulation,” says Prause. It’s worth noting that while several factors can contribute to rapid ejaculation, you may be surprised to find that most are not physical.

Psychological problems such as stress and depression can aggravate this condition, and are far more common than a specific physical condition, such as increased sensitivity, inflammation of the prostate or a spinal cord issue. To better understand your problem, your doctor will need to discuss your sexual history with you. Remember that they are medical professionals and have heard all of this stuff before, so be open and honest. The more your doctor knows, the better they can help treat you.

How to Properly Treat Premature Ejaculation

Sometimes, premature ejaculation goes away on its own in a couple weeks or months without multiple visits to the doctor’s office. Alleviating stress is the best way to start, so treat yourself to some R&R and see how that goes.

And the most important thing? Do not blame yourself or feel inadequate in any way, as this can amplify the problem. If it helps, speak openly with your partner about it to otherwise avoid miscommunication. According to Prause, the following three solutions are best for treating premature ejaculation:

Squeeze Techniques

If you get the sense that you;re about to ejaculate prematurely, you or your partner can squeeze the shaft of the penis just below the head with the thumb on one side and forefingers on the other. Squeeze for roughly 20 seconds, let go and you should be able to resume with your sexual activity.

When done effectively for a prolonged period of time, the technique enables you to delay ejaculation with the squeeze. Eventually, as you become more comfortable with your sexual ability and endurance, you’ll eventually learn to delay orgasm successfully without the squeeze. This practice can be repeated as often as necessary, and often requires open communication with your partner.

Numbing Creams

Another possible treatment involves prescription medication that helps delay ejaculation. These anesthetic creams and sprays contain a numbing agent, such as benzocaine, lidocaine or prilocaine, which should be applied to the penis 10 to 15 minutes before sex to reduce sensation and subsequently delay ejaculation.

“Numbing creams actually are helpful with men, but [as] these also get all over your partner, do not use them without your partner’s consent,” advises Prause.

RELATED: Penis Health Care, De-Mystified

Although topical anesthetic agents are effective, they have potential side effects to take note of, too. Some men report temporary loss of sensitivity, as well as decreased sexual pleasure. Sometimes through contact with the treated penis, female partners also report these effects.

Antidepressants

“The goal with medications is not to stay on them for the rest of your life, so you might plan to try a medication for a shorter (one to three month) period and see if this improves to the point that you might no longer need them,” says Prause. “The anorgsamic effects are very rapid, which is why a month ‘trial’ may be plenty to experiment with the effects of a drug-induced orgasm delay.”

When this type of medication is given to treat rapid ejaculation, it can help to postpone orgasm for several minutes. Drugs used for this type of treatment include selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs), such as fluoxetine and tricyclic antidepressants.

The biggest thing to remember when experiencing premature ejaculation is that, more often than not, what you’re experiencing is perfectly normal. And if these experiences become more commonplace, there are a number of effective treatments to assist. You just have to figure out what works best for you and your partner in order to put your worries — and your penis — at ease.

Desensitizing Creams to Help Counter Premature Ejaculation

Sometimes it pays to be prepared, and having one of these desensitizing creams in your nightstand can make all the difference.

Doc Johnson Sta-Erect Delay Cream

Doc Johnson

Using the numbing agent Benzocaine, at 7.5% strength, even a small application of Doc Johnson’s Sta-Erect Delay Cream will help calm your nerves and make the fun last longer. Per the instructions, you need to apply this cream a full 10 minutes before you use it, so make sure you’re thinking ahead.

$16.99 at Lovehoney.com

Adam & Eve Go Long Delay Gel

Adam & Eve

Using scientifically proven Benzocaine as a desensitizer, the Go Long Delay Gel from Adam & Eve will prolong your pleasure and help you hold your erection, even with a very small application.

$12.95 at AdamEve.com

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September 13, 2022
Can This Wipe Stop You From Finishing Early During Sex?

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Can This Discreet Product Stop You From Finishing Early During Sex?

Regardless of how old you are or how many times you’ve had sex, you’ve probably experienced premature ejaculation at some point — the name for the phenomenon when you climax earlier than you wanted to.

Not only can it be an embarrassing feeling, but it’s one many guys are desperate to eliminate from their sex lives. There are all kinds of home-grown methods for delaying ejaculation — switching positions often, spending more time manually or orally pleasuring your partner, thinking about un-sexy things or masturbating to climax right before sex, to take advantage of your refractory period.

Roman Swipes

But if you’re looking for a tried-and-true scientific solution, well, there’s a product on the market that might be able to help make your premature ejaculation issues a thing of the past. Gents, say hello to Roman Swipes.

What Are Roman Swipes?

Roman Swipes are single-use wipes that are just about the size of your average condom. Each one contains a small amount of benzocaine (an anaesthetic commonly used in topical pain-relief products), which allows you to last longer without completely numbing your penis. Basically, you still feel everything, according to the company.

“Swipes are also the only over-the-counter product for PE that has a clinical study connected to it,” George Koveos, Roman’s general manager, told AskMen. “You have much more control over where you place the numbing agent and how much of it you use to avoid overexposure and over-numbing. [The] swipes are portable, so you can take them anywhere without an awkward shape in your pocket or wallet.”

RELATED: Not Lasting Long Enough in Bed? Time to Change That, Pronto

How Are You Supposed to Use Roman Swipes?

Roman Swipes

The product’s portability and small size also allow for discreet usage.

While being open about the situation with a long-term partner is probably the smarter move, you might not want to get into a big conversation about your P.E. issues with a casual hookup right before things get steamy. Just tell the other person you need a second in the bathroom, open the packaging, use the Roman Swipe around your penis (covering all of it), and let it dry for about five minutes.

Once the benzocaine in the product’s solution starts to take effect, you’ll be able to get it on without fearing that you’ll climax as soon as things start to get hot and heavy.

Do Roman Swipes Actually Work Well?

In a world full of shady products trying to grab men’s attention to help them with issues relating to their penis, from size and shape to look and their capacity to get (and keep) an erection, it’s easy to be skeptical of a company making such bold claims.

But according to statistics Roman Swipes presented to the crowd at the 2017 American Urological Association Annual Meeting, using the product regularly for just two months can deliver up to a 340 percent increase in how long you last in bed.

To put that in context, if you used to last a minute and a half, a 340 percent increase on that would be 6 minutes and 36 seconds, putting you right around the shift from “adequate” to “desirable,” according to a 2008 sex therapists study.

How Do Roman Swipes Work on the Body?

While the concept of a wipe that fixes your premature ejaculation issues in five minutes or so might seem magical, Roman Swipes are actually a simple, science-based success story. Using an anaesthetic like benzocaine to impact skin sensation is something that topical creams have been doing for a long time. As premature ejaculation is a case of too much pleasure rather than too much pain or itchiness, it makes perfect sense to try that same numbing impact on the penis.

Roman Swipes is a version that fits in your wallet, conceived and tested specifically for sexual usage to help you delay your climax.

“We wanted to bring a non-prescription option to the market to help our members last longer that captured the Roman essence: discreet and easy to use, but backed by clinical research,” said Koveos. “Swipes are the size of a condom and are applied to the sensitive parts of the penis just before sex. All the other existing over-the-counter options for P.E. are messy sprays or sketchy supplements, nothing you can just throw in your wallet.”

Are Roman Swipes Safe to Use?

For those already thinking of using Roman Swipes daily, there isn’t “any risk to everyday use,” explains Koveos. The company’s research determined that “this product is safe to use and doesn’t transfer to partners if used continuously,” he added.

However, “Men’s Health” sex and relationships advisor Debby Herbenick, Ph.D. suggests that you should use Roman Swipes in conjunction with a condom, even if you know both of you are STI-free, in order to make sure the benzocaine in the product is only impacting your sensation, not your partner’s as well.

RELATED: How to Choose the Best Condoms for You

Are Roman Swipes a Cure for Premature Ejaculation?

While the product can definitely have a positive impact on how long you last, that doesn’t make it a cure-all.

If your premature ejaculation is so severe that you find yourself ejaculating within seconds of engaging in penetrative sex every time, using Roman Swipes alone might not be enough to make you a sex master who engages in marathon sessions — and you shouldn’t try to pull it off by simply using more than one wipe at at time.

Instead, Koveos notes you should add in other techniques, “whether through edging, the squeeze technique or other behavioral modification techniques.”

RELATED: Here’s What You Should Know About the Edging Technique

“While Swipes are used primarily for men with P.E., we’re helping men and couples looking to stay in the moment longer, whether for a special occasion or just to improve intimacy with their partner,” said Koveos. “If you and your partner are satisfied with your sex life, Swipes aren’t for you — but for many couples, Swipes can help improve their sex lives.”

With luck, a combination of Roman Swipe use and different techniques like edging and thinking about other, non-sexual things will enable you boost how long you last over time.

Where Can You Buy Roman Swipes?

You can get Roman Swipes delivered to your home by subscribing at the product’s official website, GetRoman.com.

Interview conducted by former AskMen contributor Joel Balsam.

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Ian Stobber

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October 19, 2021