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  • Online Dating, Gen Z, Marijuana And More

    Online Dating, Gen Z, Marijuana And More

    Online dating is here to stay, sort of, maybe.  A significant portion of both the US and Canada use online dating with success. And like most mass media things, it has involved with the culture. Grinder, long known as the gay hook up site paved the pathway for Tinder, known as a straight hook up site. Match.com, the largest dating app, has few filters and allows people to date who they want – gay, straight, different states, ethnicities and streaming habits.

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    But for all the benefits, Gen Z is upending it again. Gen Z is moving away from dating apps and meeting people in real life. And learning it definitely different meeting someone face to face instead of gram to gram. Studies show the most popular user of dating apps are between the ages of 30 and 49, mostly millennial, make up 61% of dating app users, whereas Gen-Z comes in at only 26%.

    This generation are into grandma’s china, vinyl, home cooking and vintage clothes. But they are also inclusive with 41% wanting clothing retailers to offer more inclusive sizes a range of body types in advertising.  And they have a whole different take on marijuana.

    Boomers tend to see marijuana in a skeptical eye. While more are starting to be open to it, it is more of a novel than say beer, wine or gardening. Gen Z sees marijuana as a better option than booze. They have started drifting away from alcohol and embracing weed. Especially in smaller groups. With vapes and gummies being more on the go, minimum odor and more discreet, it is the sound solution. A portion of Gen Z helped make California Sober a thing, which is when you just use marijuana and give up alcohol.

    Match.com was the first dating site to add 4/20 friendly in November of 2019. Now it is on most mainstream sites and Gen Z sees it more like asking if you like craft cocktails.  They are also are more open to a wider variety of people for short and longer term relationships.

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    As Gen-Z open their minds and heart with in-person dating, they are experiencing what previous generations have long endured. They cite fear of rejection and being cringe amongst their top concerns for being online. Older generations have more experience with the discomfort of dating rejection both online and in person. Experience helps frame the rejection and rebound more easily after an awkward encounter, rather than internalizing it as “cringe” which can’t be overcome.

    Sarah Johns

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  • Have You Used These 5 Wacky Dating Dealbreakers

    Have You Used These 5 Wacky Dating Dealbreakers

    Dating is a dance of computability and desire – but sometimes it a person is just a little to wacky

    Dating can be tough, finding the right person who matches what you are generally looking for can be a long process.  While nobody is perfect and they have their quirks, you still have to figure at the how you two will fit in the long (or even the medium) run. With advances in technology, it has become even a harder process. So many people online, yet few are a match. Sometimes you meet some great, maybe even date a short period and then call it off for a perfectly good reason. But have you used these 5 wacky dating dealbreakers?

    The wrong astrology sign

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    While in today’s tech-oriented world it seems odd people use Zodiac signs as a guide, but it is true.  In India, you match is an important step toward an arranged marraige. In the US and Canada, 78% of active Bumble users added a zodiac badge to their profile. Many daters see certain combinations of star signs as more compatible than others, which can have a bearing on their decision of whether to approach somebody. And some, if their signs are oil and water, just call it off.

    Poor grammar

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    in a survey of 2,000 people in the dating pool, 71% shared they are turned off by poor punctuation and grammar. If the person’s grammar is awful and barely legible, it’s hard to understand how they’ve managed to lead a functional life.  Some see it as it may show a lack of self-respect or respect for others. There is also the fear of embarrassment when you are hanging out in friend and work groups.

    Bad taste in food

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    The rise of the Insta era has helped us develop our sense of taste, giving us access to delicious food photography, recipes and more. Cunlinary adventures, be it finding the best fried chicken or something more exotic and complicated, has become a priority for a lot of people. While it might appear snobbish, it’s a valid concern if someone doesn’t share this passion with you. Having a guy say, I don’t eat vegetables or order,  a hamburger at a Michelin-starred restaurant can be a true relationship killer. It becomes laborious every time we go out.

    Dumb Facebook statuses

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    The online personality is a reflection of the person and, sometimes, a more accurate one. This is popular deal breaker, where someone’s social media presence is a big turn off and is completely different from how they are in real life.  Someone may be nice in person and a troll online.

    Someone addicted to screens

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    Phone addiction is real, and most suffer from it to some degree. There are people who take it too far, unable to not constantly check their phones on dates and conversations. These people are distracting, rude, and anxiety-inducing. Being glued to a screen prevents the person from seeing their date’s non-verbal behavior. Using them means not giving your undivided attention and being fully present, which is the most potent expression of affection and respect in a relationship.

    Sarah Johns

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  • How Many People Can You Date At One Time

    How Many People Can You Date At One Time

    Dating apps, parties, or sometimes at the grocery store, you can meet a potential partner.  When your vibe is right, you go through a true feast period, and when it is off, a dry spell.  But during the good times, how many people can you date at one time?

    There are ton of dating apps from Match.com to one for furries to help them find the perfect partner.  Match is the largest and statistically the best due to their data base.  But they are ones for Indians to date, Indians to marry, people who consume weed, boomers, ones based on credit scores and more.  The choice of online is enormous, and it doesn’t count the people you meet in real life. Parties, gatherings, your aunt who wants to set you up and the grocery store. And for the Gen Z population, they are way more open to dating everyone.  But is our brain really built to have some many options???

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    No one says you can’t date 8,9, or 10 people at the same time. You can go all Samantha in Sex In The City, but there are hurdles.  Too many options in the roster could lead to being overwhelmed and defeat the purpose of getting to know them and yourself better via time. The risk of forgetting details about your various dates is significant and can lead to awkward encounters.  The number of people to truly date which most people can handle is three.

    Photo by 3194556 via Pixabay

    Mathematicians study the data and comes to a conclusion. The 37% rule claims if you’re planning to go on 10 dates, you should enjoy the first three (3.7) but don’t make any commitments. Then, the very next person you date who is better than any of those three should be the one you choose to settle with. According to the research, this is the perfect statistical balance between being exploratory and exploitative.

    Helen Fisher, a sex expert and scientific consultant for Match.com, shares brains aren’t equipped to have so many options. “The problem is, the human brain is not built to even cope with so many choices. The brain has a sweet spot, apparently between five and nine alternatives, and after that, you don’t choose any,” she says on the podcast Sex with Emily.

    Fisher recommends after chatting with the 9th person you should stop and get to know at least one of them more. “The more you get to know somebody, the more you like them, and the more that you think that they like you,” she says.

    Another recommendation she gives out is to remain positive on first dates, ignoring minor quibbles such as mismatched shoes, a photo with a bad angle on their profile, or someone who doesn’t dress according to your tastes.

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    While we tend to be negative about these issues, there’s no way of knowing if this person is right for you on a first date, and they might surprise you as you grow more comfortable with each other and get to know them more. “If it is a maybe, go out again,” she suggests.

    Dating doesn’t include first dates….but second, third and fourth dates should be a lower number. Also, if you are online and someone sparks your interest, meet them in the first two weeks. Otherwise you build up who you think they are and it may be a massive disappointment when you meet in real life.

     

    Sarah Johns

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  • Best Advice For Shy And Anxious People Using Apps

    Best Advice For Shy And Anxious People Using Apps

    Approximately 40 to 50%of adults are shy, which makes it harder to find the special someone

    Approximately 40-50% of adults are shy, making it hard for you to not only make friends – but to find the special someone.  Across the world, shy people have a little bit more trouble and have to use a lot more effort to get out there and take the chance.  Thanks to the technology today, it is a bit easier to do it online.  Here is the best advice for shy and anxious people using apps to date.

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    Shyness and social anxiety can go hand in hand.  Social anxiety is the fear of social situations involving other people, with a focus on “being embarrassed, humiliated, rejected or looked down on in social interactions.” But this is not fully a barrier to finding a bestie, a partner or even just a lover.

    Before you start, make a list of the best qualities friends and family share about you. It will take you into the connections/messaging/chatting with a positive vibe. Know your worth of before you find someone special, it will give you a better space to start.

    Also, narrow what you want in a partner, it gives you a better focus as you interact with others.  Maybe 3-4 things so you have a solid base.

    Get to know the different apps

    One thing which diminishes stress and the feeling of being out of control is research. Before you start swiping get to know the different dating apps, specially those that are designed with shy or anxious people in mind. While these apps might have a smaller user base than Tinder, they might adapt better to your needs. In research find out the best tips for profiles, responses, etc.

    Get help from friends when setting up your profile

    Every person is different when it comes to managing anxiety. While some prefer to keep it to themselves or journal it out, others seek the help of their friends and family members. Don’t doubt yourself or feel embarrassed when setting up your profile; ask friends and family on their opinions and allow them to help you choose an interesting bio and some flattering pictures.  Also, ask opinions on when and how to share information to others online.

    Once-A-Week Rule
    Photo by Brodie Vissers via Burst

    Set some boundaries

    While dating apps help break the ice, it’s very common for people to chat with hundreds and never go on a date. Set some time limits and don’t let yourself chat with people with no discernible goal in sight. Dating apps are for dating, which means that at some point you’re going to have to meet this person face to face. It’s also important to prevent your dating app use to intrude on your day to day life. Avoid using the app while working or when doing something you normally enjoy. If you need some help in keeping track of your app use, enable your smartphone time management feature. This tool will limit your time on the app, setting up a fixed amount of minutes per day that block the app once you’ve been there for too long.

    RELATED: 5 Dating Apps Perfect For Introverts And Shy People

    Use the chat option to take pressure off the first date

    One of the best parts about dating apps is the fact that you can get to know the person you’ll be meeting before a face to face encounter. Take advantage of all chatting and text messaging by taking your time to come up with questions and answers without having the pressure of a stranger waiting for the perfect response.  But a warning, don’t go too long just chatting, it can set unrealistic expectations when you do finally meet in person.

    Take breaks

    Breaks are very helpful for all sorts of dating app users. While dating around and chatting with people can be very fun, rejection is also almost always part of the equation. Know this might happen at any moment and you might spend weeks swiping around without having a match. Take a break and then jump back in.

    Sarah Johns

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