Anyone who was on the internet around the release of The Last of Us Part II knows it was a bad time. But while we, as fans and writers, saw the vitriolic backlash unfold in real-time, it was far worse for the creative team who was directly targeted by it. Laura Bailey, who played the secret second protagonist Abby, has opened up about her experience with harassment during the game’s release cycle, and how some disgruntled fans threatened her son, who was two years old at the time, because they didn’t like her character.
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If you haven’t played The Last of Us Part II, Abby kills Joel, the protagonist of the first game, as part of a years-long revenge plot for the death of her father. A subset of fans famously lashed out about this, viewing it as a “betrayal” of sorts by developer Naughty Dog. This backlash extended to the cast of the game, including Bailey. In the documentary Grounded II: The Making of The Last of Us Part II that premiered on February 2, Bailey tearfully spoke about death threats that she received.
Some of these messages were passed along to proper channels to ensure that Bailey wasn’t in any immediate danger, and among them were threats directed at her son, who was born during Part II’s development. In a segment of the documentary focused on the backlash surrounding leaked cutscenes ahead of launch, Bailey says this taught her to “keep a distance” from the public.
Bailey talked publicly about the online abuse she received around the launch of The Last of Us Part II back in 2020, and even posted screenshots of some of what was sent her way. This included one message that was directed at her son and parents. This level of harassment has become so commonplace in the video game industry, and public-facing women in the space are most often the target. Just earlier this year, Spider-Man 2 face model Stephanie Tyler Jones had to speak out against people stalking her by leaving voicemails at her day job and making her feel “unsafe.”
Seeing how people treated Bailey for playing a character she didn’t write naturally makes me worry about how The Last of Us fans will react to Kaitlyn Dever, who will play Abby in the HBO Max live-action adaptation, once the golf club comes down. A lot of people have jokingly said she needs to get off social media now, but looking at how awful the response was to Bailey, maybe it’s worthwhile advice.
The Grounded II documentary presents a behind-the-scenes look at The Last of Us Part II’s development and includes a soft confirmation that Naughty Dog has a concept in mind for a third game.
I popped a DVD into the player, opened the lid to a takeout meal, and pulled up the covers; this quickly became my Friday night routine. It was the third weekend in a row I was spending alone. I moved to Montreal shortly after college, hoping to make new friends. We would fill our weekends with late-night dinners, excursions to nearby towns, and experiencing everything the big city offers. Yet, there I was, on another Friday night, the only friend being a cashier at the local Chinese takeout. The subway system overwhelmed me, so I didn’t do much traveling. The few times I did venture out alone, I couldn’t shake the intense feeling of loneliness. So eventually, I stopped trying and settled into a routine with me, myself and I.
As a social butterfly, I’d never had problems making friends. I prided myself on having multi-friend groups, choosing to surround myself with people of different races, cultures, and backgrounds. Being easy to talk to and open to new experiences, I thought I was good company. So why was I finding it such a challenge to make adult friends?! If you are in a similar situation or a new set of circumstances, try one or many tips to help you make and keep adult friendships.
1. Get out of your head.
It always amazes my husband that my girls can play effortlessly within minutes of meeting another child as if they have known them all their lives. Whether it’s the local playground, beach, or a bus ride a thousand miles from our home, they can make instant friends. Yes, my girls have a natural outgoing disposition, but they don’t overthink before they act. They aren’t riddled with “what-ifs” or “what will they think?” Instead, another child is an opportunity to make a new friend!
How often have you typed an e-mail to a colleague asking to grab a bite only to delete it because you were worried they might think you were weird?
Have you ever walked across the playground to introduce yourself to another mom, only to stop mid-way, convincing yourself she probably has too many friends already and doesn’t need another one?
Was there an empty chair on the bus, a spot at the table in the teacher’s lounge, or free space at the end of the pew that you wanted desperately to take but you told yourself it would be too forward?
If you want to make friendships as an adult, you must start thinking like a kid! Don’t think about what could happen or even think past the introductions. Start with, “Hi, my name is,” or “Is this seat taken?” or maybe, “I just wanted to introduce myself.” And let the conversation flow from there.
2. Make an effort to be involved in your community.
I would be remiss if I didn’t strongly encourage you to join a local church. Church is one of the best ways to make friendships. There’s a good chance most people are Christians and, therefore, have a common interest: faith. This is a bonus as the hope would be with a shared faith, your priorities and extracurricular activities will focus on “good, clean fun.” While this doesn’t mean being members of the same church guarantees the same stance on engaging in certain activities, it’s an excellent place to start.
If you are already involved in a local church, consider joining a sports league, taking an art class, getting back into dancing, or reigniting your passion for another childhood pastime. There are numerous adult clubs, groups, and meetups; Facebook, Meetup.com, or a simple internet search will tell you how to get plugged in. Are you passionate about helping underprivileged youth? Do you feel a strong desire to help those less fortunate? Sign up to volunteer at a local charity or non-profit organization. Many big cities have festivals and events requiring staff and volunteers; consider helping. Not only will you meet other volunteers, but who knows who you might connect with in passing.
3. Reconnect with old friends and create new connections.
One great thing social media offers is an easy way to connect with old friends. With the ability to search by location, groups, and events, one can quickly see if a long-lost friend is in the area. A great way to meet new people in your community is through mutual connections with friends or acquaintances. There are also online book clubs, political forums, and interest groups through social media, and when meeting in person isn’t an option, these provide social outlets, support, and connection.
4. Reach out to parents of your children’s friends.
Listen, I know it is impossible to form relationships with every kid’s parent your child talks to, especially if you have social kids like me. I am not advocating you form bonds with every parent out there, but pick a few of your child’s closest friends and invite them over as a family. Like making friends at church, you already know that you have at least one thing in common: your children. Chances are, even if you are opposites, the deep desire to see your children happy and form friendships will help to foster friendships among the adults. At the very least, it will allow you to get to know your child’s friends better.
5. Don’t forget your neighbors.
In a world where it is becoming increasingly common to live years next to someone and never meet your neighbor, break the cycle, and knock on some doors. If cold calling your neighbors gives you hives, say hello at the mailbox, wave when they pull in their driveway, or pause the mower and introduce yourself next time they are outside. Neighborhood friends make some of the best relationships for multiple reasons. You have a built-in walking buddy, an impromptu game night companion, and, if you are lucky, a house sitter when you go on vacation. Only having to walk a few steps makes friendship rather effortless once you get past the initial pleasantries.
The reality is making friendships as an adult can be difficult. We are trying to balance our careers, marriages, families, and other responsibilities, all while working not wholly to lose ourselves in the middle of it all. It may take a few tries, but I suggest you get off your couch and make some friends; even if they don’t become bosom buddies, you’ll make some good memories in the meantime, which is well worth it!
Laura Bailey is a Bible teacher who challenges and encourages women to dive deep in the Scriptures, shift from an earthly to an eternal mindset, and filter life through the lens of God’s Word. She is the author of Beyond the Noise, and loves any opportunity to speak and teach women of all ages. She is a wife and momma to three young girls. Connect with her on her website, www.LauraRBailey.com, Facebook and Instagram.
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The views and opinions expressed in this podcast are those of the speakers and do not necessarily reflect the views or positions of Salem Web Network and Salem Media Group.
So when sin is not being confronted, or even viewed as sin at all, it’s time to address it with the hope of gently helping to restore believers caught in its web. Here are 10 sins that often go overlooked in Christian community.
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It’s the most wonderful time of the year, back to school! My heart flutters as I scan the school supplies list, meet my child’s teacher, and transition to earlier bedtimes in preparation for a new school year. As excited as I am to watch my children reconnect with old friends, grow their knowledge, and embark on new adventures, I often wrestle with the “what-ifs” the new school year also brings.
As concerned parents, we can “what-if” ourselves all day. So, might I encourage you, as I am myself, to turn to the Lord in prayer when those what-ifs creep in?
5 Prayers for the School Year
A Prayer of Protection
“He tends his flock like a shepherd: He gathers the lambs in his arms and carries them close to his heart; he gently leads those that have young.” – Isaiah 40:11
Heavenly Father, we know you are the Good Shephard who watches over your flock day and night. There is much to fear in this fallen world, and we ask that you keep our children safe as they go to school this year. May they feel your constant presence as they travel to their classrooms, walk the halls, and return home.
We pray for children from broken homes who find refuge in the classroom. We pray for their hearts that they will not become discouraged but find comfort in a friend or teacher. Help us be sensitive to their needs and, when we can, offer assistance as we help keep them safe both during and after school.
Help us to keep a reign on our anxious thoughts as we read the headlines and hear stories of pure evil. We know You are sovereign; evil will not prevail; You are the righteous Judge. We ask that we keep a healthy perspective, being cautious but not crippled by our concerns for our children. In Jesus’ Name, amen.
A Prayer to Make Good Decisions
“Blessed is the one who does not walk in step with the wicked or stand in the way that sinners take or sit in the company of mockers, but whose delight is in the law of the Lord, and who meditates on his law day and night. That person is like a tree planted by streams of water, which yields its fruit in season and whose leaf does not wither—whatever they do prospers.” – Psalms 1:1-3
Heavenly Father, we ask that you give our children biblical discernment as they start this school year. Help them remember the words spoken over them, the Bible stories they have learned, and the conversations with godly influences as they make decisions throughout their day. There are many distractions; we ask that you keep their thoughts and hearts set on You.
Lord, we worry our children will fall victim to peer pressure or, in our absence, make a wrong decision. Help us to release that fear to You. Help our children lean into the power of the Holy Spirit to guide their days; help them to stand firm in their faith. In Jesus’ name, Amen.
A Prayer for Friendships
“If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up.” – Ecclesiastes 4:10
Heavenly Father, we are grateful for the gift of friendships. We know you made us for connection, but sometimes making new friends and maintaining those friendships can be difficult. We ask that You guide our children as they learn to navigate relationships with people from different backgrounds who may think and act differently.
Lord, we know that, more than likely, this school year will bring hurt feelings. Some at our child’s hand, and some because of others’ actions. We ask that they learn to forgive quickly, offering grace and mercy to their offenders. If they are the ones who offended, please convict their hearts, moving them to seek forgiveness and reconciliation with their peers.
While we enjoy the gift of earthly friendships, the greatest relationship we can have is with you, as Lord and Savior. We pray for any child that doesn’t have a personal relationship with You. Help our children share their faith, giving them the courage to invite their friends to church, pray during school, and tell others about Jesus. We long to be lights in this dark world; grant us strength to be bold for the Gospel! In Jesus’ name, Amen.
A Prayer for the Teachers
“Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.” – Galatians 6:9
Heavenly Father, thank you for those who give their lives to teach our children. We are grateful for their love and devotion to helping our children grow academically, socially, and potentially spiritually. You understand the high demands of teaching, and we call on the Holy Spirit to provide our educators with passion, perseverance, and patience.
There are many times when teachers feel discouraged and overwhelmed by the constant demands of the classroom; please be with them. Let teachers know they are impacting our children’s futures and give them strength and courage as they start each day. As parents, please help us to assume the best and give teachers grace.
A Prayer for the Administration
“I urge, first of all, that petitions, prayers, intercession, and thanksgiving be made for all people— for kings and all those in authority, that we may live peaceful and quiet lives in all godliness and holiness. This is good, and pleases God our Savior,” – 1 Timothy 2:1-3
Heavenly Father, we pray over our nation’s education system, local districts, and community schools. We know that You are ultimately in control, but we ask that You guide and direct those in authority so that they will align their decisions for our children with biblical truths and Your will.
We pray for our nation, the president, our federal and local lawmakers, and school administration, from the superintendent to the office manager. We ask that you grant us discernment, and should we disagree with the administration, we prayerfully consider how to address our concerns. In Jesus’ name, Amen.
Laura Bailey is a Bible teacher who challenges and encourages women to dive deep in the Scriptures, shift from an earthly to an eternal mindset, and filter life through the lens of God’s Word. She is the author of Beyond the Noise, and loves any opportunity to speak and teach women of all ages. She is a wife and momma to three young girls. Connect with her on her website, www.LauraRBailey.com, Facebook and Instagram.
The first season of The Last of Us, the undeniable smash-hit HBO series based on the video game of the same name, has ended. And though the discourse about the controversial ending rages on, people are already looking ahead to season two, which will introduce one of the most infamous characters in the series: Abby Anderson and her incredibly toned arms.
I’d like a little more She-Bulk in my She-Hulk, please.Image: Marvel / Disney
But it’s not just the game industry, as proven time and time again by the dearth of women superheroes built like Victoria’s Secret models. Does Gal Gadot as Wonder Woman look like she can do anything other than strut and make mealy-mouthed comments on the Israeli-Palestine conflict? Is Scarlett Johansson’s Black Widow capable of pulling off gymnastic stunts when she’s wearing a SKIMS waist trainer under a leather catsuit?
In an Entertainment Weekly interview, She-Hulk executive producer Kat Coiro responded to rumors that “Marvel requested She-Hulk’s muscles be made smaller,” saying that She-Hulk didn’t need to be all that big, actually.
We honestly talked about strength more than aesthetics. We studied musculature and we studied women athletes who were incredibly strong. We really leaned towards Olympians rather than bodybuilders. That’s where a lot of our body references came from, very strong Olympic athletes. So she doesn’t have a bodybuilder’s physique, but she absolutely has a very strong physique that can justify the actions that she does in the show. I think people expected a bodybuilder and for her to have these big, massive muscles but she looks more like Olympians.
Unfortunately, until recently, one of the few examples of a muscular woman in modern media was MMA-fighter-turned-actor Gina Carano as Cara Dune on The Mandalorian. Her arms were absolutely gigantic, exploding out from her chest armor with purpose. She dwarfed every other person sharing a scene with her. Sadly, Carano came out as a transphobe and a covid pandemic anti-masker, so she got the boot, and I worried I’d never see someone built like her on TV or in movies again.
Mandalorian muscle mommies
This is the way: Cast more muscular femmes in TV shows and movies.Image: Katy O’Brian on Instagram / Kotaku
Thankfully, Katy O’Brian came to the rescue. Though she’s only briefly in The Mandalorian season 2, she returns as a major character in the third season, and yes, we do get to see her arms. In fact, her muscles are so prominent that fans of the series already made an apt comparison, tweeting that O’Brian, an actor and martial artist, should play Abby in The Last of Us season 2.
It’s certainly not a far stretch. Though Abby is voiced by Laura Bailey and has the face of former Naughty Dog dev Jocelyn Mettler, her body double is CrossFit athlete and former collegiate swimmer Colleen Fotsch, who looks like she could pick me (a pretty muscular woman) up with one arm and wield me like a baseball bat. Fotsch, who did not respond to Kotaku’s request for comment, has a litany of YouTube videos showing off workout routines—and considering she’s currently a data analyst by trade, she’s proof that women can be muscle mommies while also living fulfilled NARP (non-athletic regular people) lives.
Casting an actor who is athletically inclined and already ripped up like a bad report card as Abby in The Last of Us season two makes a ton of sense—though I find myself longing to see a wild bulk-up of an actor not already built like a brick shithouse. But also, I just want to see more muscular women in movies and television, guys. I don’t really care how they get there, I just want them there, muscles rippling like coiled snakes under their skin.
Big arms big arms big arms. Image: Sony / Naughty Dog /Kotaku
We’re only one episode deep into HBO’s live-action adaptation of The Last of Us and fans think they’ve discovered the actor who’ll play Abby.
In a recent tweet, The Last of Us News, a community-run TLoU fan account, uploaded a screenshot of the game creator, Neil Druckmann, following actor Shannon Berry on Instagram. Of course, Druckmann’s following of The Wilds actor could just be his way of pulling a Hideo Kojima by showing interest in actors who star in shows that are similar to his own works.
But give the internet an inch and they’ll take a mile because Twitter has been buzzing about how perfect Berry’s casting would be for Abby, especially when you consider how closely her face resembles the former Firefly and surprise co-star of The Last of Us Part II. It probably also doesn’t help that Berry’s followed Druckmann back on Insta, but that’s show business baby!
“Hey, she’s 22. Bella Ramsey is 19. Their age difference is spot on for Ellie and Abby,” one Twitter user wrote.
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“God, I hope it happens. She’s the perfect Abby,” wrote another.
“Whoever gets the role I really hope they don’t get the abuse Laura Bailey did!! Neither Laura or whoever gets the role for the series deserves it!” another observed.
“Becoming a Shannon Berry Abby Anderson truther as we speak,” wrote one Twitter user, who went the extra mile by making a Kpop-style fancam video of the actor after someone’s suggestion that Florence Pugh would be a good Abby.
Should Abby appear in TLoU (prestige TV edition), “Abby Anderson truthers” think the show should save her appearance for the final episode of the season, so as to create a neat throughline between the original game’s ending and its sequel.
Since The Last of Us premiered on the streamer, fans and critics alike have heralded the HBO show as the one that’s finally broken the terrible video game adaptation curse. While I think the show knocked it out of the park with its 80-minute pilot episode, I can’t help but notice the pop culture zeitgeist’s tendency to haphazardly regurgitate that accolade whenever a new video game adaptation that isn’t dog water comes out.
The ‘95 Mortal Kombat movie (which is good, don’t @ me), Paramount Pictures’ Sonic films, and Netflix’s Castlevania, League of Legends, and Cyberpunk 2077 shows have all rightfully received the same praise for their overall quality and respect for source material. But much like how Disney keeps having new “first LGBTQ characters,” gamers always tout the latest video game adaptation hotness as finally having “broken the curse” despite us having gone through this whole song and dance like five times over the past two years or so. I suppose recency bias is a bitch.
Regardless, we’ll have to wait and see whether the internet’s admittedly parasocial stalking of Druckmann’s Insta follows results in Berry’s casting as Abby. But right now let’s just appreciate how yoked out Abby is.
Growing up, my parents jested, “You can choose your friends, but you can’t choose your family.” These words were meant to encourage and perhaps force me to learn to get along with my family members because “friends come and go, but your family remains the same.”
For some, the opposite will be true; friends have been more like family than blood relatives. However, for our purposes here, I am addressing those whose family dynamics are relatively healthy aside from the occasional family tiffs—especially those tensions of navigating relationships with parents as adults with children of their own.
As believers who desire to honor God with their lives, many adult Christians wonder how to honor their parents as family roles and dynamics change, notably during major life shifts such as marriage and having children. Understanding common reasons for tensions and establishing healthy plans for resolution between adult children and their parents may relieve these normal family stressors.
Let’s look at three reasons for tension between adult children and their parents:
1. Not Following the Biblical Role of Parents in Adult Children’s Lives
Packed with sass and attitude as a little girl, I often heard my parents recite the fifth commandment. “Honor your father and mother,” they would say after a slight roll of the eyes or stomp of my foot. If you, too, grew up in a Christian home, I’m willing to bet you heard those words as well.
But we’re not little girls and boys anymore. Does this principle imply that we are to do everything our parents say as adults? And if we don’t, are we dishonoring our parents?
Let’s back up and look at God’s original intent for the family. Home is where children learn to submit to authority and respect and obey. In return, hopefully, they receive love and protection. If children can learn to submit to earthly authority (their parents), they will be better able to submit to God’s ultimate authority (eternal).
Honoring our parents doesn’t explicitly imply that we must obey all their wishes and commands. While we are under our parents’ care (i.e., living under their roof), we should abide by their rules, commands, and preferences (assuming they don’t contradict God’s Word). However, as we age and move out of our parent’s homes, we bear the responsibility and burden of adulthood.
In Matthew 19:4-6, Jesus describes the natural progression as children become adults, “Haven’t you read,” he replied, “that at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female,’ and said, ‘For this reason, a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’?” If this is true, the natural progression would be that once we have lives and families of our own, our parents’ authority would shift from one of complete authority to a source of wise counsel and guidance. Their advice is suggestive, and our ultimate authority would come from Christ.
As adult children, we can honor our parents by considering their concerns and advice, showing them respect, and striving to live in peace as far as it depends on us. We hope that parents acknowledge the shift in authority in our lives with great joy and gratitude to see their children walking in obedience to God. But the truth is that changes like these are difficult, and sometimes, tension is inevitable. As these situations arise, consider ways to respect and honor parents while maintaining autonomy and accommodating new relationship dynamics such as a spouse or children.
2. Unrealistic Expectations
Having unrealistic expectations is one of the biggest reasons for relationship tension. Due to familiarity in family relationships, there is a greater possibility of these expectations going unvoiced and misconstrued. We all have different outcomes we deem appropriate responses for various scenarios and circumstances. Of course, because they are our ideas, we sometimes wrongly assume that everyone else will respond the way we envisioned. But, when people don’t act the way we expected, conflict or, at the very least, tension occurs. Can you relate to one of the scenarios below?
Your parents retired, creating extra time in their calendars. You are thrilled because you think this will lead to them helping out with the kids more. A few weeks go by, and they haven’t reached out, and you start to feel annoyed.
You and your spouse offered to host a big family Christmas at your house this year. You thought this would make it easier on your parents, but you become upset when they decline to opt for a smaller gathering at home.
Your parents decide to take a big trip and invite your family along. You thought because they invited your family, they would cover the cost of the vacation; you become bitter when you find out it would be your responsibility.
One of the best ways to relieve the tensions caused by unrealistic or unmet expectations is to stop putting them on people. After many mishaps with my preconceived notions of how people should respond and my general desire for others to do things the same way I would, I certainly understand this is much easier said than done. But maybe it would be helpful if we all tried not to impose our opinions on others so much.
We can openly and honestly talk about our preferences and concerns. I understand this is a tall order for those not fond of conflict. But, airing out our grievances, or sharing how we would like things to be, in most cases, helps prevent future misunderstandings. Auditing expectations for personal opinions, ditching assumptions, and openly communicating will be a great starting point for managing unrealistic expectations.
3. Being Quick to Assume the Worst and Slow to Forgive and Forget
Assuming the worst can be a knee-jerk reaction regarding relationships with parents and in-laws. A simple declined invitation to dinner quickly makes me think I am the worst daughter ever, an incompetent mom, and generally a disgrace to the family. Heaven help me if the exchange happens over text or e-mail! I understand the challenges when we can’t see facial expressions or voice inflections created, but why with the people we love most, do we tend to assume the worst? It seems that most of us are much quicker to extend grace and understanding to friends and strangers over our relatives.
As if it’s not enough of a challenge that we generally assume the worst of each other, conversations can be loaded at times. Someone makes a comment about a superior parenting technique, an ill-timed comment is made about someone’s finances, or a parent continues to give unsolicited suggestions. These things can make tensions soar, people shut down, and activate relational strain, making it hard to engage with each other as time goes on and unforgiveness festers.
We’ve covered God’s original design for family to model submission to authority. And the family unit is a great place to practice navigating the inevitable ruptures and repairs required in human relationships. By learning to love unconditionally, forgive quickly, and extend grace and mercy to our families, we can do the same with the family of God.
While there are numerous reasons for tension between adult children and their parents, we can be sure of a few things. The shift of power, the change of seasons, the transformation of children becoming adults, and aging parents, will cause tension in our families. But as God demonstrated by adopting us into His family despite our shortcomings, the family unit is a grace from Him. Love covers a multitude of sins (1 Peter 4:8), allowing us the privilege to honor our families.
Laura Bailey is a Bible teacher who challenges and encourages women to dive deep in the Scriptures, shift from an earthly to an eternal mindset, and filter life through the lens of God’s Word. She is a wife and momma to three young girls. She blogs at www.LauraRBailey.com, connect with her on Facebook and Instagram @LauraBaileyWrites
