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Tag: Jonas

  • Jonas Brothers Reveal They Sometimes Try To Secretly Trade Places Like Identical Twins Except Everyone Notices

    Jonas Brothers Reveal They Sometimes Try To Secretly Trade Places Like Identical Twins Except Everyone Notices

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    LOS ANGELES—Explaining that their close bond as siblings had led them to occasionally experiment and play pranks, the Jonas brothers revealed to reporters Friday that they sometimes try to secretly trade places like identical twins, except everyone notices. “Sometimes I’ll show up to a gathering with friends and family and pretend that I’m Kevin to see if anyone can tell the difference, and they always see through it immediately and beg us to stop,” said Nick Jonas, adding that almost everyone in their lives found the brothers’ practice irritating but that they can’t bring themselves to stop trying in case someday it works. “We don’t do anything to change our appearance because we’re brothers, which is kind of like twins, in that some brothers are twins, except not all brothers are twins, but in any event, we’re hurting all of our loved ones by continuing to perpetuate these antics. Honestly, we’re pretty sure that Joe’s marriage failed because I kept showing up to dinner with Sophie [Turner] and their kids, trying to romance her and demanding that their confused children call me Dad, and his whole family obviously found it awful to deal with. Still, though, we had fun, because at the same time, Joe was pretending to be Kevin and causing a fight with our parents, who have always discouraged us from pretending to be each other, while Frankie was pretending to be me and really pissing off my agent at a meeting. Someday it will work, though, so we have to keep trying.” At press time, Nick Jonas attempted to conclude the interview by telling reporters that he was actually Kevin Jonas, which caused them to sigh in disgust.

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  • Jonas Brothers Make Tree-House Pact To Divorce Mean Wives And Marry Each Other

    Jonas Brothers Make Tree-House Pact To Divorce Mean Wives And Marry Each Other

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    LOS ANGELES—Spitting into their palms to cement the deal, Nick, Joe, and Kevin Jonas reportedly made a tree-house pact Friday to divorce their mean wives and marry each other. “Everything was so much better when it was just us Jonas boys, and that’s how it should always be,” said newly separated Joe Jonas, slipping a Funyun onto his brother Nick’s ring finger and whispering, “Brother, you’re my wife now.” “We don’t need any gross, mean girls making everything complicated—we’ll just live in our cool tree fort forever and ever and have mom bring us snacks. What else could we need? It’s settled, I’m officially sending Sophie’s lawyer this sign that says ‘NO GIRLS ALLOWED.’ Well, except Mom, but she has to know the code word to enter. Now let’s practice kissing like we used to.” At press time, Kevin was seen sobbing and threatening to tattle to their mother after neither of his brothers wanted to marry him.

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