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Tag: Improved Intimacy

  • Intimacy Coach’s Guide to Help Heal and Strengthen Clients’ Love

    Intimacy Coach’s Guide to Help Heal and Strengthen Clients’ Love

    Intimacy is something we all need to live a fulfilling life; however, many people struggle to access intimacy in their relationships.

    The thing is, our society is ever-evolving. “We are so concerned with our careers that we forget that love is a very important dimension in our life,” explains Ajit Nawalkha, the co-founder of Mindvalley Coach. “We don’t really focus our time, effort, and understanding towards it.”

    An intimacy coach can help, though, to understand the root of their relationship issues. It’s a unique coaching niche you can be a part of, one that’s gaining momentum as more and more couples and individuals commit to improving their relationships with their loved ones and themselves.

    What Is an Intimacy Coach?

    As an intimacy coach, you go beyond traditional relationship coaching. You empower your clients to take control of their intimate lives, build healthier relationships, and experience greater personal and sexual fulfillment.

    You’d focus specifically on areas like emotional connection, physical intimacy, self-awareness, and relationship dynamics. Additionally, you’d help your clients address issues like sexual dysfunction, communication breakdowns, infidelity, or past trauma.

    More often than not, couples opt to hire intimacy coaches to help them build trust and awaken passion. But individuals can also turn to you for help in reconnecting with themselves, as well as families, to find ways to deepen their bonds. 

    What does an intimacy coach do?

    An intimacy coach helps restore harmony on both the physical and emotional levels. As one, you’d help clients overcome intimacy issues, manage conflict, and develop better communication skills. You can also offer guidance for couples to comfortably express their fantasies and set proper boundaries with each other.

    How does this look? Here are a few techniques and approaches that you can use:

    • Open and honest communication. You create a safe space for your clients to express their concerns and desires.
    • Education and resources. You provide information and strategies for improving communication, sexual experiences, and emotional intimacy.
    • Personalized guidance. You tailor support to each client’s unique needs and goals.
    • Mindfulness and bodywork practices. You help your clients connect with their emotions and physical sensations.
    • Role-playing and exercises. You create scenarios to practice new skills and communication styles.

    The bottom line is, your goal is to empower your clients to take control of their intimate lives. And as a result, they build healthier relationships and experience greater personal and sexual fulfillment.

    What Skills Does an Intimacy Coach Need?

    A lot of your work will revolve around conflict resolution and helping people improve their interpersonal communication. Here are five main coaching skills that will help you do that:

    1. Active listening

    Active listening is about paying attention to both what your client is saying and what they aren’t saying. You need to observe their body language, hold space for them to express themselves fully, and encourage them with follow-up questions.

    Common active listening techniques include mirroring your client’s thoughts or paraphrasing what they have just said. These tools help your clients observe their thought processes from an outside perspective. 

    2. Active questioning

    Listening is important, but questioning can take the client’s conversation even deeper. Using the right coaching questions at the right time can open up new insights for your clients and encourage self-reflection.

    Powerful questions can make clients look at their relationship problems from a new angle. They can also help them discover deep-seated beliefs that might be standing in the way of positive change.

    3. Building trust

    Building rapport with clients is key in any coaching relationship, but especially with intimacy coaching clients. The issues they approach you with are delicate, so to open up in front of you, they need to trust you 100%.

    You can create a safe space in your coaching sessions by offering a non-judgmental space and making them feel accepted.

    4. Having a game plan

    Intimacy coaching focuses a lot on the emotional aspect of the client’s life, which makes the coaching process more fluid. However, that doesn’t mean that the coaching work is aimless.

    Set clear intentions with your clients on what goals and intentions they would like to pursue in their work with you. Define what skills they need to cultivate in themselves to make progress toward their ideal relationship. Then, acknowledge their progress and celebrate their milestones as they move along their coaching journey.

    5. Giving actionable feedback

    A professional intimacy coach must provide constructive feedback that helps the client grow. This feedback should be unbiased and always based on your client’s objectives.

    You can make your feedback actionable by assigning certain tasks as homework to your clients, from journaling prompts to simply paying more attention to a particular aspect of their relationship in the coming week.

    An intimacy coach in a session with a married couple

    What Makes an Intimacy Coach Different From a Sex Coach?

    Cultivating intimacy plays a vital role in helping people develop a healthy sexual life. However, intimacy and sex aren’t the same thing. Hence, the role of a sex coach also differs from that of an intimacy coach.

    Here’s a closer look at the two:

    Intimacy Coach Sex Coach (or Sexual Intimacy Coach)
    Focus Emotional connection, closeness, and trust Physical aspects of sex, sexual health, and performance
    Approach Works on building deep emotional bonds Concentrates on improving sexual skills and knowledge
    Goals Enhancing emotional intimacy in relationships Enhancing sexual satisfaction and resolving sexual issues
    Techniques Communication exercises, trust-building activities Sexual education, techniques, and practices
    Who They Help Individuals or couples seeking a deeper connection Individuals or couples looking to improve their sex life
    Outcome Strengthened emotional bond and understanding Improved sexual confidence and experiences

    How to Become an Intimacy Coach

    Intimacy coaches need adequate qualifications to be able to build a successful practice in this field. There are relationship coach and intimacy coach certification programs, as well as more comprehensive coach training alternatives that teach you the key methodology required for this career.

    Besides training, there are a few attributes that great intimacy coaches share. They should:

    • Be able to put clients at ease
    • Have a reassuring presence that helps clients feel safe enough to talk about their deepest secrets
    • Be able to communicate about delicate issues in a humane manner while maintaining professionalism
    • Have clear boundaries with clients

    How Much Do Sex and Intimacy Coaches Earn?

    A sex and intimacy coach’s salary greatly depends on the type of clientele you’re working with. Professionals in this niche typically charge $125 to $300 for a 60-minute session and offer monthly coaching packages, workshops, and retreats to supplement their income.

    This is pretty average compared to other coaching niches, so if you feel that intimacy coaching is your calling, you can build a career around it that’s both fulfilling and lucrative.

    What Is the Typical Clientele of Intimacy Coaches?

    Your clientele as an intimacy coach varies depending on your specific niche and expertise. However, here are some common types of individuals and couples who seek intimacy coaching:

    1. Singles

    Loneliness is the biggest epidemic affecting the modern population. Though not all singles desire to be in a committed relationship, intimacy is a core human need that we can all cultivate in different ways in our lives. 

    There are seven different kinds of singles you may come across:

    • Temporarily single. Someone who is actively seeking a partner and is in between relationships.
    • Recently divorced or widowed. Someone recovering from loss and not ready for a relationship.
    • Frustrated single. Someone who wants a partner but is not able to find one and gives up.
    • Passive single. Someone who wants a relationship but is not actively seeking a partner.
    • Single, but not available. Someone who has a self-perception of being single and desires a lasting relationship but is engaging in short-lived relationships to get needs met.
    • Busy or distracted single. Someone who is absorbed in being a single parent, career, or school and doesn’t have the time nor the desire for a partner.
    • Single by choice. Someone who has no desire for a partner.

    Some of these people are not seeking help with intimacy at all, or they only want to work on their relationship with themselves and their platonic relationships.

    Others are open to finding romantic love, but they haven’t managed to until now. They might need your help to get ready for an intimate relationship or develop new strategies in their dating life.

    2. Couples

    Romantic relationships go through various stages. Each of them presents their own unique challenges to a couple.

    As with singles, not all couples are alike. There are four types of couples you may come across as an intimacy coach:

    • Individuals in the dating phase. This usually means two people who are exploring a relationship with each other but haven’t committed to it yet. They may want to work with you to work through commitment and intimacy issues that are standing in the way.
    • New couples. These are couples who have decided to be in a romantic relationship together. If they’re monogamous, they stop dating other people and become exclusive. They may need your help to establish a stronger foundation for their relationship and test their long-term compatibility.
    • Couples in long-term relationships. Some committed couples may need your help to navigate changes in the relationship, such as moving in together or having kids together. Others might want to work on their sexual intimacy or rediscover attraction for each other.
    • Couples considering alternative relationship models. This may be transitioning into an open marriage or changing housing arrangements.

    Spark the Flame, Inspire Change

    Intimacy coaching isn’t just a career; it’s a calling. It’s a chance to ignite sparks, transform connections, and witness the raw beauty of human vulnerability blossoming into thriving relationships. 

    If you crave that kind of impact, join us in the free Become a Mindvalley Certified Life Coach masterclass and discover how to turn your passion into a purpose-driven path.

    —
    Images generated on Midjourney.

    Annamaria Nagy

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  • Dr. Amy Killen’s 6 Science-Backed Ways for Better Sex at 40+

    Dr. Amy Killen’s 6 Science-Backed Ways for Better Sex at 40+

    Crossing the threshold of 40 often brings a kaleidoscope of changes. And when it comes to sex, this stage of life ushers in uncertainties for many: the questioning of sexual vitality, the fear of diminishing pleasure, and the often-unspoken struggles with maintaining a fulfilling sex life. 

    However, that doesn’t have to be your reality. 

    “The truth behind sex in later years is that sex actually can continue to be just as good or even better as you get older if you approach it in the right way,” says Dr. Amy Killen, a leading anti-aging and regenerative physician.

    Age-related sexual myths are just that—myths. And in an episode of The Mindvalley Show with Vishen, Dr. Killen shares her insights on the joy of sex you can have after 40, proving that the golden years can indeed be lustrously golden. 

    Watch the full 24-minute episode:

    Ep #028 | 6 Science-Based Practices for Improving Sexual Health & Vitality After 40 | Dr. Amy Killen

    Dr. Amy Killen & Her Mission to Debunk the Myths of Sexual Health

    Like all great origin stories, Dr. Killen’s stemmed from something personal. It was during a routine lice check with her husband that she realized the lack of intimacy in her life, a revelation that prompted a profound shift in her career and focus. 

    “In retrospect, my disastrous sex life makes total sense,” she recalls. Being in emergency medicine on top of being a mom of two, she was completely strung out, rarely sleeping, not exercising, chronically stressed, and “just generally making a lot of bad choices that affected not only my sexual health but also my general health.”

    So what did she do? Take ownership of her health, of course.

    Sexual health is not a luxury. Sex isn’t just feel good. It’s one of the main pillars of health that supports us in this quest for longevity. — @KillenMd Click To Tweet

    Transitioning away from emergency medicine, Dr. Killen went down a path that would make her a renowned figure in integrative and regenerative medicine, specializing in sexual health and skin. 

    Her mission to debunk sex myths is rooted in her own experiences of rediscovering and reclaiming her health and vitality. Myths like men over 40 need Viagra for erections, women lack sexual enhancement options, erectile dysfunction is irreversible, and sex inevitably worsens with age.

    Contrary to what we’ve been told, sex isn’t a luxury. Rather, according to Dr. Killen, it’s “one of the main pillars of health that supports us in our quest for wellness and longevity.”

    How Can You Skyrocket Your Sex Life? Dr. Amy Killen Provides 6 Solutions

    The truth is, sexual activity can do wonders, even as you age. What’s more, there’s research that shows it improves emotional, mental, intellectual, and physical health.

    So if you’re finding yourself being less active than you’d like, Dr. Killen presents six transformative solutions that can help rejuvenate and sustain your sexual vitality.

    1. Be in the right mindset

    When it comes to intimacy, your mental state can either enhance or hinder your sexual well-being. A positive and relaxed mindset can boost your sexual confidence, satisfaction, and connection with a partner.

    Stress and anxiety, on the other hand, can have detrimental effects on sexual health. According to Dr. Killen, the inability to deal with the amount of stress we deal with on a daily basis “makes us unable to have sex properly.”

    The biggest sex killer that I see out there is actually stress. — @KillenMd Click To Tweet

    These psychological factors, research has found, can lead to a list of problems: decreased libido, difficulty achieving arousal, and a reduced sense of sexual satisfaction.

    So meditate, do breathwork, go out and exercise, or whatever it is you do to decompress. Your sex life depends on it.

    2. Be healthy

    This is something we all know to be true. And it’s especially so if you’re looking to combat sexual dysfunction.

    “As we get older, and especially if we’re less healthy, we have more inflammation,” says Dr. Killen. So prioritizing your health ensures you not only have a better quality of life but also the ability to enjoy the benefits of sex.

    What does the good doctor recommend? For starters, “cutting out sugar, getting your blood pressure down, working on your cholesterol, exercising.”

    These are simple lifestyle adjustments you can make to improve blood circulation and decrease inflammation on a whole body level. And where it leads to is better sexual arousal and function.

    3. Increase nitric oxide

    A crucial but often overlooked aspect of sexual health is the role of nitric oxide. This molecule helps open up the blood vessels, allowing for increased blood flow throughout the body, including the genitals.

    As you get older, though, you’re actually making less and less nitric oxide. So, Dr. Killen explains, “by the time you’re 40 years old, you’re making about half as much nitric oxide as your 20-year-old friends.”

    You can naturally increase nitric oxide by eating foods like leafy greens, beets, pomegranate, and dark chocolate, to name a few. Doing so can help enhance vascular health and lead to better erections. 

    4. Optimize your hormones

    As you may be aware, hormones affect your mood, energy levels, and sexual desire. And as you age, hormonal imbalances can occur, leading to changes in your sexual function.

    So balancing these hormones is the solution to this problem. How? Here are some things you can do, according to Dr. Killen:

    • Hormone supplementation
    • Exercising
    • Getting enough branched-chain amino acids
    • Getting in your daily dose of Vitamin D
    • Limiting your intake of sugar and processed food
    • Getting enough quality sleep

    Important note: Hormone balance is individual, and what works for one person may not be suitable for another. Therefore, it’s always advisable to consult with a healthcare provider to assess your hormone levels, identify imbalances, and determine the most appropriate steps for hormone optimization.

    5. Use light, heat, and sound

    Light, heat, and sound therapies sound like unconventional approaches, but they’ve shown promise for improving sexual health. They involve using specialized technologies to deliver light, heat, or sound waves to the sexual organs, with the idea that they can enhance blood flow to the area and stimulate tissue repair.

    For example, red light therapy may use specific wavelengths of light to stimulate the production of nitric oxide, promoting better blood circulation to the genitals. Heat therapy can help relax and expand blood vessels, further improving blood flow. And shockwave therapy, which uses sound waves, may work by stimulating nerve pathways that are important for sexual arousal.

    There are actually a number of therapies out there that you would do—most of them with a physician but that are very safe—that have kind of revolutionized sexual health. — @KillenMd Click To Tweet

    While these therapies are still relatively new in sexual medicine, they do offer you alternative ways to enhance your sexual pleasure and function.

    6. Use regenerative medicine

    Chances are, you’ve heard of stem cell therapy. Possibly, you’ve also heard of platelet-rich plasma (PRP) therapy. Maybe even ​​proteomics and metabolomics.

    These are all types of regenerative medicine available out there, focusing on using the body’s natural healing processes to repair and rejuvenate tissues. What they do is tell “your cells that are already there to become more active,” explains Dr. Killen. That includes helping with blood flow, hormone regulation, and increased sensitivity for sexual energy, desire, and satisfaction.

    Important note: Regenerative medicine is a rapidly evolving field, and ongoing research is exploring its full potential in sexual health. If you’re interested in any of these treatments, consult with healthcare experts who specialize in regenerative medicine first.

    Unlock Your Pleasure

    Your fourth decade (or more, if you’re past it) is no time to slow down. It’s your prime. Even sexually.

    Because when you have sex (alone or with another), you’re choosing “to dose yourself with an orchestra of healthy, feel-good chemicals that could have immediate and lasting effects.”

    So if you want to learn more, consider joining Dr. Amy Killen’s The Science of Great Sex Quest on Mindvalley. When you sign up for a free account, you have access to the first few lessons, so you can get a dose of the ins and outs of how great sex equals a great life.

    Welcome in (pun intended).

    Tatiana Azman

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  • How to Make Your Honeymoon Phase Last, According to Jamie Wheal

    How to Make Your Honeymoon Phase Last, According to Jamie Wheal

    Many of us go into a relationship all lovey-dovey. We can’t keep our hands off our partners. And the sex? Amazing.

    But as weeks, months, years go by, life does what it does best—it happens. With jobs and kids thrown into the mix, the lust burns out.

    What if there was a way, though, to ignite that spark again? And not only that, but keep it burning?

    “There’s this giant missing chapter of the story of human sexuality and what we can do with it,” explains Jamie Wheal, the founder of the Flow Genome Project and author of Recapture the Rapture: Rethinking God, Sex, and Death in a World That’s Lost Its Mind, on The Mindvalley Show with Vishen. 

    “If we understand it and if we can then reclaim it,” he adds, “[we can] put it towards the highest purposes and passions of our existence.”

    Ep #017 | Sex, Psychedelics, and How to Make Your Honeymoon Phase Last Forever

    Jamie Wheel On Why Sex Is Important In a Relationship

    Sex—it’s often associated with pleasure or to continue our lineage. However, it’s also a profound language of love and an expression of trust. And it’s one of the most effective relationship hacks to deepen our connections as a species.

    As Jamie says, “Our whole pleasure and reward system maps one to one with the sexual arousal network because if any animal doesn’t figure out how to procreate, we die.”

    But how deep does this bond go in real-life relationships? The Pew Research Center provides some insights: many married and cohabiting couples are satisfied with their sex lives; however, it’s the married ones who often feel a deeper emotional connection. In fact, 78% of them view their spouse as their closest confidant, compared to 55% of cohabiting couples.

    This data, however, doesn’t detract from the importance of sex; instead, it reinforces Jamie’s insights that sex is a gateway to deeper states of bonding and understanding. The essence isn’t just in the act, but in the shared experiences, the mutual explorations, and the unity it can foster between two individuals. 

    The science behind sex and lasting relationship bliss

    When two people come together, it’s not just about feeling good and harnessing their sexual energy. In fact, there’s a whole list of benefits that come along with this type of pleasure.

    Sexual activity promotes the release of four key chemicals. These are dopamine, which rewards and motivates us; endorphins, which relieve pain and stress; oxytocin, which bonds and connects us; and serotonin, which stabilizes mood and well-being.

    Research even shows that sex generally improves relationships. Here’s a closer look at three:

    • A 2016 study published in the Journal of Family Psychology suggests that having a good sex life is important for a happy long-term relationship.
    • Another study in the Journal of Sex & Marital Therapy found that both good communication and a satisfying sex life make marriages happier.
    • One more study in the Archives of Sexual Behavior found that if dating couples don’t have as much sex as they want, it can make them less happy, and their relationship might not last as long.

    So doing the “good thing” creates intense pleasure and improves your mood, for sure. But it also promotes communication and bonding, relieves stress and pain, promotes memory, and increases self-esteem.

    “Once you’re in that neurochemical state, creating a neurochemical cascade,” Jamie highlights, “magically, you feel lust. You feel attraction. You feel novelty.”

    How to Spice Up Your Sex Life? Here Are 5 Tips From Jamie Wheal

    Maintaining a sex life, let alone a thriving one, can pose a challenge. And it’s especially true for females looking to have sex after menopause or males who’re going through a midlife crisis.

    But it can’t be denied that the zest for intimacy and passion remains essential throughout your life. So what can you do about it? In his sit-down with Vishen, Jamie laid out three pivotal ways to keep the flame burning in any relationship.

    1. Sexual fitness—make it a routine

    Having a good sex life is like working out; it needs regular attention. And the practice of doing so can be done intentionally.

    “We have the ability to, like, literally make love,” Jamie explains. “We can create and precipitate the neurochemical cascade.”

    So what’s the next step? Set aside consistent time for intimacy, just as you would for a gym session. This not only keeps the passion alive and deepens your bond, but it also naturally boosts your sexual confidence as an added bonus.

    2. Timing is everything

    Understanding a woman’s rhythms can elevate intimacy to new heights. Throughout the month, women’s bodies undergo a series of hormonal changes known to influence mood, energy, and desire. 

    In fact, research in the journal Hormones and Behavior notes a peak in women’s sexual desire around ovulation, credited to a spike in estrogen levels. Conversely, the latter half of the cycle sees a rise in progesterone, sometimes leading to symptoms like mood swings. 

    “If you’re going to plan what, you know, in the UK they call your ‘dirty weekend,’ where are you going to go away to a hotel right to make love and have privacy, you want to time it 100% for the weekend that overlaps with the woman’s ovulatory week,” Jamie points out.

    And so, understanding these natural rhythms and being attuned to your partner’s unique cycle can be incredibly transformative.

    3. Master the art of cl*t stimulation

    Society has made rapid progress in many fields, yet it wasn’t until the late ‘90s that urological surgeon Helen O’Connell fully mapped the anatomy of the clitoris. This complex structure boasts nerve endings that far surpass those in a man’s counterpart.

    This organ, radiating around a woman’s pelvis, offers a vast realm of stimulation and sensation, essential for understanding genuine feminine pleasure.

    To harness its power, Jamie suggests trying a month-long commitment: 15 minutes a day of focused clitoral stimulation with no further expectations. This approach, according to research, not only bolsters intimacy but also lays the groundwork for genuine mutual understanding.

    Plus, it’s crucial to synchronize timings: before even considering penetration, ensure a woman has experienced at least one orgasm. Such simple shifts can immensely transform the landscape of a relationship, reigniting passion and deepening connection.

    4. Afternoon delights, anyone?

    Job, family responsibilities, and all else—there’s always so much going on. So it’s no wonder intimacy often takes a backseat, and our sexual confidence dwindles as the urge for sex turns into “I’m too tired.”

    Here’s the thing to understand, though: The natural rhythm of a man’s testosterone, as Jamie explains, is that the man will wake up often with an erection, which will taper through the morning, and come back up in the early afternoon with more oxytocin.

    “If a woman just wants, you know, a quick and dirty, your morning man’s the guy, right?” he adds. “But if she actually wants relatedness and connection with passion, afternoon delight, skyrockets in flight, right? That’s the time.”

    So, couples should prioritize intimacy, perhaps scheduling an “afternoon delight”—no excuses… Well, maybe sexcuses.

    5. Forget the wine—try these aphrodisiacs instead

    We often don’t realize that many of us already mix drugs with sexuality, from alcohol to antidepressants like SSRIs. And the thing is, they can significantly dampen libido. The pressing question is: how can we harness chemicals responsibly to optimize our sexual experiences? 

    Psychedelic pioneers like Sasha Shogun and his wife Anne delved into this very question, meticulously documenting their erotic adventures under the influence of various substances. They found compounds like 2CB from the mescaline family to be both magical and arousing. Others, like MDMA (widely recognized as “ecstasy”), on the other hand, posed challenges for male arousal.

    Venturing into these territories can unlock profound experiences, from deeply personal traumas to expansive, collective empathies. As a result, they forever change one’s perspective on intimacy.

    It’s important to note, though, to tread with caution. Consult with trusted medical professionals and do your due diligence before experimentation.

    Jamie Wheal, the founder of the Flow Genome Project and author of Recapture the Rapture: Rethinking God, Sex, and Death in a World That’s Lost Its Mind
    Jamie Wheal, founder of the Flow Genome Project and author of Recapture the Rapture: Rethinking God, Sex, and Death in a World That’s Lost Its Mind

    Unleash Your Sensual Surge

    The constant touching and playing turns into absentminded, robotic kisses and “you’re in and then you’re out.” It’s the typical love story, and it happens to the best of us. But when it does, you know it’s time to resuscitate your sex life. 

    You can absolutely dive into Jamie Wheal’s books, Stealing Fire: How Silicon Valley, the Navy SEALs, and Maverick Scientists Are Revolutionizing the Way We Live and Work and Recapture the Rapture: Rethinking God, Sex, and Death in a World That’s Lost Its Mind, for insights and wisdom. 

    However, if you want to take your sex life to a whole other level, you can learn from the experts at Mindvalley. If you’re already a Member, you can check out the Waves of Pleasure Quest with Bibi Brzozka, Category 13 with Lifebook’s Jon and Missy Butcher, and Neo-Tantra Quest with Layla Martin, among others.

    If you’re yet to be a Member, you can still sample their classes when you sign up for a free Mindvalley account. By doing so, you unlock the first few lessons of the quests. Not only that, you’ll also get access to daily meditations to help bolster your journey to lasting sexual and relationship bliss.

    “By committing to sexuality as a practice and perfecting how to make love, how to actually prime the neurochemistry of the lust and the attraction that fires us up in the beginning,” says Jamie, “we can actually bring it back and light our path ahead.”

    Welcome in.

    Tatiana Azman

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