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Tag: Game Birds

  • Pigeon Delighting In Eating Chicken Wing Like Sophisticated German Cannibal

    Pigeon Delighting In Eating Chicken Wing Like Sophisticated German Cannibal

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    NEW YORK—Buffalo sauce dripping from its beak like blood from a baron’s walrus mustache, a local pigeon reportedly delighted in eating a chicken wing Friday as if it were a sophisticated German cannibal enjoying his forbidden delicacy. According to sources, the pigeon’s eyes took on a crazed glint, and it savored the supple tissues of its brethren fowl in a manner similar to an eccentric billionaire in a Black Forest hunting cabin indulging in human flesh. Reports confirmed that, not unlike a reclusive Bavarian nobleman who has taken in a lost American tourist after their car broke down in a thunderstorm only to serve them up to his esteemed dinner guests as a most exotic and taboo feast, the pigeon daintily picked the meat from the bone of its fellow bird with depraved glee. At press time, much like the German cannibal, the pigeon was said to have developed a peculiar and ravenous taste that could only be satiated by murdering and devouring its own kind.

    Conservationists Confirm Only Remaining Species Are Humans, Pigeons, Dandelions

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  • Conservationists Confirm Only Remaining Species Are Humans, Pigeons, Dandelions

    Conservationists Confirm Only Remaining Species Are Humans, Pigeons, Dandelions

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    WASHINGTON—In an effort to draw attention to the earth’s continuing loss of biodiversity, officials from the World Wildlife Fund confirmed Tuesday that the only remaining species were humans, pigeons, and dandelions. “Yep, that’s it—there are a few thousand pigeons, some dandelions, and then humans are obviously still kicking around,” said WWF spokesperson Daniella Satrapi, explaining that there had been a horse and a little crabgrass last week, but those were gone now, too. “Not a ton of dandelions, now that we mention it. And a lot of people are dying. But the pigeons are going pretty strong. So enjoy them. We are going to miss dogs, though.” At press time, the WWF confirmed that a human had eaten the last dandelion in existence.

    Nation’s 56,000 Acres Of Spinach Crops Cooked Down To Single Half-Cup Serving

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  • Local farmer says spring bird flu is to blame for Thanksgiving turkey shortage

    Local farmer says spring bird flu is to blame for Thanksgiving turkey shortage

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    Farmer: Bird flu to blame for turkey shortage

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