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A husband's blunt dinner comment about a friend's dating strategy fuels debate over whether playing hard to get ever works.
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The cherry on top is a sarcastic call to action on his fake article: “Read my new interview with @thecut.” It doesn’t exactly scream “this essay isn’t about my wife and her custom ‘mother’ sweatpants.”
Tisdale French explained in her essay that she began feeling left out and uncool, echoes of her high school (not the musical kind, the learning kind) insecurities coming back to haunt her. “But I’m not in high school anymore,” she wrote. “I’m a mom.” She rationalized that she was setting an example for her kids by standing up for herself and letting her not-friends know that there would be no more mommy-n-me hangs for her, thank you very much. “Surely, it would have been easier to disappear without explanation—and that would have allowed all of us to convince ourselves that we simply ‘drifted apart’,” she wrote.
Easier, yes, and arguably better.
If you can afford to shell out for a $10.99 monthly HBO Max basic plan subscription—maybe even less if you take the time to track down a promo code, and even more affordable if you share a login—the indelible lessons of Big Little Lies are priceless. Not all friend groups share what Reese Witherspoon, Nicole Kidman, Shailene Woodley, Zoe Kravitz, and Laura Dern do (murder secrets, very nice views of Monterey Bay). Every friendship looks different, and has a unique ingredient list for its glue. People come and go. In her original post, Tisdale French called the group “exactly what I needed at the time.” Now, not so much. And that’s fine. Seasons pass, needs change.
Psych studies have found that having friends helps us live—friendships literally decrease risk of death—and live better, happier lives. Young women in particular tend to rely on their friends for intimacy and support, more than men of the same age, according to one survey. Friends are important, there’s no doubt about that, but so is self-awareness.
High school sucks. Mean girl stuff sucks. Unfortunately, neither high school stuff nor mean girl stuff is exclusive to the adolescent stage of life. But here’s the beautiful lesson that comes with age and experience: You can’t control what anyone else does, but you can control how you react to it. This is something that’s as true for Disney Channel alumnus Hollywood moms as it is for us regular degular ones: Not all friendships last forever, no matter how fire the group chat once was.
Duff, so far, appears to be holding true to the ol’ “if you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all” rule, not commenting publicly as of publication.
Tisdale French doesn’t seem to be in possession of that particular throw pillow either. “It didn’t exactly go over well,” she shared of the chat’s reaction to her departure announcement to the group via text: “This is too high school for me and I don’t want to take part in it anymore.” Shocking. No wonder we haven’t seen any of the alleged subjects sharing celebratory retweets of her essay, dredging up old drama.
If it was childish behavior Tisdale French was hoping to cut out of her life, we have some bad news: This is all high school, and there isn’t even a musical to hum along to this time.
Representatives for Ashley Tisdale French and Hilary Duff did not immediately respond to Vanity Fair’s request for comment.
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Kase Wickman
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Self-care doesn’t have to be expensive or elaborate. Often, the most restorative habits are the ones that fit effortlessly into our lives: taking a deep breath before a meeting, jotting down a few thoughts before bed, or spending time doing something you genuinely enjoy.
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THINGS TO BE SLOW MOVING. WELL, IT’S NOT THAT UNCOMMON FOR COWORKERS TO BECOME FRIENDS, BUT FEW EVER BECOME FAMILY. KCCI BEAU BOWMAN SHOWS US HOW THAT HAPPENED TO TWO TEACHERS AT MARSHALLTOWN’S MILLER MIDDLE SCHOOL IN THE MOST EXTRAORDINARY WAY. HAVE WE GOTTEN ANY OF THE QUESTIONS RIGHT YET ON THE LOCK CHALLENGE? TEACHING CAN SOMETIMES BE A TOUGH GIG. NOT BECAUSE THE QUESTIONS ARE HARD, BUT BECAUSE THE DAYS ARE LONG AND THE STAKES ARE HIGH. I WOULD NOT HAVE COME UP WITH THAT ONE EITHER. SOMETIMES THE THING THAT MAKES IT EASIER ISN’T A NEW LESSON PLAN. OR A BETTER BELL SCHEDULE. IT’S YOUR BEST FRIEND RIGHT ACROSS THE HALL. SEVENTH AND EIGHTH GRADERS. THEY ALL THOUGHT WE WERE SISTERS. ANNA MILLER AND MORGAN HURST BOTH STARTED AT MILLER MIDDLE SCHOOL IN MARSHALLTOWN 14 YEARS AGO. TWO TEACHERS ARRIVING AT THE SAME PLACE AT THE SAME TIME, THEN MOVING LIKE PARALLEL LINES THAT NEVER REALLY DRIFTED APART. CAREERS GROWING SIDE BY SIDE. BUT ALMOST WITHOUT THEM REALIZING IT. THEIR LIVES DID TOO. WE KIND OF GOT MARRIED AT THE SAME TIME. OUR FIRST KIDS ARE SIX MONTHS APART. FRIENDSHIPS AT WORK MAKE THE HOURS TICK FASTER, BUT THE REAL ONES DO SOMETHING ELSE. THEY HOLD YOU UP, ESPECIALLY WHEN THE HARD THINGS STOP BEING AFRAID. IT’S BEEN REALLY GREAT TO HAVE SOMEONE LIKE CELEBRATE THE REALLY, REALLY GREAT THINGS. AND THEN ALSO THE REALLY, REALLY HARD THINGS. FOR ANNA, ONE OF THOSE HARD THINGS WAS TRYING TO GET PREGNANT WITH HER SECOND CHILD. TEN YEARS, 20 ROUNDS OF IVF AND EVENTUALLY A CONVERSATION. NO ONE WANTS TO HAVE. BUT SOME FAMILIES HAVE TO TOWARDS THE END, LIKE HAD SAID, YOU KNOW, LIKE THEY HAD RECOMMENDED THAT WE SHIFT TO SURROGACY. I WASN’T READY FOR THAT. YOU KNOW, MORGAN WAS KIND OF ALWAYS THAT SUPPORT PERSON. SHE WAS THE FIRST ONE TO SAY, LIKE, YOU KNOW, LIKE I’D BE WILLING TO DO THIS FOR MORGAN. IT WASN’T COMPLICATED, NOT BECAUSE IT WAS BIG, BUT BECAUSE LOVE SOMETIMES IS SIMPLE. I HAD REALLY EASY PREGNANCIES, A SUPER SUPPORTIVE HUSBAND, AND SO IT WAS A REALLY EASY DECISION TO BE LIKE, IF YOU NEED THAT, I’M HAPPY TO HELP. THE EMBRYO WAS TRANSFERRED ON APRIL 1ST, 2024 AND STUCK ON THE FIRST TRY WHEN THEY CALLED AND LET US KNOW THAT HER BLOOD TEST CAME BACK POSITIVE. THAT WAS LIKE THE FIRST LIKE, OH MY GOD, THIS IS ACTUALLY HAPPENING. AND IN THE CLASSROOMS, THE ANTICIPATION BUILT THE WAY IT DOES IN A SCHOOL ON THE LAST DAY BEFORE CHRISTMAS BREAK, I FEEL LIKE HE’S KICKING AND SHE’D RUN DOWN TO MY ROOM AND THEN HE’D GO SILENT AND I’M LIKE, HE’S JUST CALM BECAUSE HE LOVES YOU, RIGHT? LIKE YOU BRING THAT CALMING PRESENCE. AND THEN THAT DECEMBER SHY BOY DILLON WAS BORN. AND MORGAN, WHO HAD CARRIED HIM NINE MONTHS, MADE SURE THE FIRST MOMENTS BELONGED TO ANNA MORGAN, WAS VERY LIKE, I DON’T WANT TO SAY HANDS OFF. BUT LIKE WHEN HE WAS BORN, SHE REALLY WANTED IT TO BE ME. AND THAT WAS JUST A REALLY SPECIAL THING FOR ME TO HAVE BECAUSE, YOU KNOW, LIKE, THAT’S SOMETHING THAT I MISSED OUT ON AND I JUST AFTER HE WAS BORN, SHE KIND OF LET US HAVE OUR TIME, BUT THEN WAS WILLING TO BE, YOU KNOW, THAT PERSON OF SUPPORT. BUT THEN THAT NIGHT EVERYONE LEFT AND IT WAS JUST DYLAN AND I. AND THAT WAS JUST LIKE A MAGICAL MOMENT OF SOMETHING THAT I HAD HOPED FOR FOR SO LONG. NOW, ONE YEAR LATER, HE’S GOT FROSTING ON HIS HANDS AND OPINIONS ABOUT CAKE. HE ATE HIS CAKE, AND WHEN HE WAS DONE, HE LET US KNOW. HE JUST FLIPPED IT OFF THE TRAY AND IT LANDED ON THE GROUND. DILLON IS LOVED BY MORE THAN HE COULD EVER UNDERSTAND. OUR FAMILIES ARE JUST LIKE, ALMOST BONDED. AND IT ALL STARTED RIGHT HERE IN THE HALLS OF MILLER MIDDLE SCHOOL, WHERE TWO TEACHERS BECAME FRIENDS. AND THEN IN THE MOST EXTRAORDINARY WAY, BECAME FAMILY. THERE WE GO.
‘A magical moment’: Teachers turn friendship across the hall into family through surrogacy
Updated: 2:51 AM PST Dec 29, 2025
Two teachers at an Iowa middle school, who started at the school 14 years ago, have taken a friendship that began across the hall and turned it into family after one served as a surrogate for the other.Anna Miller and Morgan Hurst taught and raised children at the same time; their careers and lives moving in parallel. “The seventh and eighth graders, they all thought we were sisters,” Hurst said.Their bond deepened through both celebrations and hardships. “It’s been really great to celebrate the really great things and then also the really, really hard things,” Miller said.Miller and her husband spent a decade trying to have a second child, undergoing 20 rounds of in vitro fertilization.”Toward the end, they had recommended that we shift to surrogacy. I wasn’t ready for that,” she said. “Morgan was always kind of that support person.”But she was the first one to say, ‘I’d be willing to do this.’”Hurst said the decision was straightforward for her. “I had really easy pregnancies, a super supportive husband, and so, it was a really easy decision to be like, ‘If you need that, I’m happy to help.’”The embryo was transferred April 1, 2024, and resulted in a pregnancy on the first try.”When they called and let us know that her blood test came back positive, that was like the first like, ‘Oh my God, this is actually happening,’” Miller said.Hurst carried the child, and the women shared moments during the pregnancy. “I’d be like, ‘He’s kicking!’ and she’d run down to my room, and then he’d go silent, and I was just like, ‘He’s calm because he loves you. Like, you bring that calming presence.’” Hurst said.When the baby, Dellyn, was born that December, Hurst said she wanted Miller to have the first moments. Miller said, “Morgan was very, I don’t want to say hands-off, but, like, when Dellyn was born, she really wanted it to be me and that was a really special thing for me to have because that’s something I missed out on, and after he was born, she kind of let us have our time, but then was willing to be that person of support.” Miller added, “And then that night, everyone left, and it was just Dellyn and I. And that was just … a magical moment of something that I hoped for for so long.”
Two teachers at an Iowa middle school, who started at the school 14 years ago, have taken a friendship that began across the hall and turned it into family after one served as a surrogate for the other.
Anna Miller and Morgan Hurst taught and raised children at the same time; their careers and lives moving in parallel. “The seventh and eighth graders, they all thought we were sisters,” Hurst said.
Their bond deepened through both celebrations and hardships. “It’s been really great to celebrate the really great things and then also the really, really hard things,” Miller said.
Miller and her husband spent a decade trying to have a second child, undergoing 20 rounds of in vitro fertilization.
“Toward the end, they had recommended that we shift to surrogacy. I wasn’t ready for that,” she said. “Morgan was always kind of that support person.
“But she was the first one to say, ‘I’d be willing to do this.’”
Hurst said the decision was straightforward for her. “I had really easy pregnancies, a super supportive husband, and so, it was a really easy decision to be like, ‘If you need that, I’m happy to help.’”
The embryo was transferred April 1, 2024, and resulted in a pregnancy on the first try.
“When they called and let us know that her blood test came back positive, that was like the first like, ‘Oh my God, this is actually happening,’” Miller said.
Hurst carried the child, and the women shared moments during the pregnancy.
“I’d be like, ‘He’s kicking!’ and she’d run down to my room, and then he’d go silent, and I was just like, ‘He’s calm because he loves you. Like, you bring that calming presence.’” Hurst said.
When the baby, Dellyn, was born that December, Hurst said she wanted Miller to have the first moments. Miller said, “Morgan was very, I don’t want to say hands-off, but, like, when Dellyn was born, she really wanted it to be me and that was a really special thing for me to have because that’s something I missed out on, and after he was born, she kind of let us have our time, but then was willing to be that person of support.”
Miller added, “And then that night, everyone left, and it was just Dellyn and I. And that was just … a magical moment of something that I hoped for for so long.”
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Content Warnings: violence, murder, sexual assault, substance abuse, infidelity
Summary: New Year’s Eve hits different in your thirties. Especially when the party ends in murder.
It used to be an annual thing—the raucous New Year’s party full of games and hors d’oeuvres. But for Olivia and her friends, the chaos of their thirties has really challenged the definition of annual. It’s been a few years since the close friends were last…close. But this year is gonna be different. The burnout, parenting stress, credit card debt, job drama, marriage troubles, addiction—they’re going to set it all aside for the night. No, really. They swear.
Oh, except for the secrets. Every last person has one… But secrets are only as good as the people you trust to keep them, and when the wrong one slips out…well, friends or not, that just might become motive for murder.
Everybody thinks they know their closest friends—until somebody winds up dead.
New Year’s Eve is usually all about fresh starts and glittery optimism. But for Olivia and her long-time friends, that midnight countdown comes with a body count. Jenna Satterthwaite’s The New Year’s Party turns a familiar reunion scenario on its head with a story that’s both relatable and jaw-dropping. Written in a style that’s conversational yet polished, it draws readers in with wry humor and mounting suspense.
After years of adulting (careers, kids, mortgages), Olivia and her once inseparable high school friends have drifted apart. This New Year’s Eve is their big chance to reconnect. From the moment they reunite, it’s clear each person is lugging more baggage than the overnight kind. Burnout at work? Check. Marriage on the rocks? Definitely.
Each thirtysomething in the room wears a polite party face that barely disguises the personal chaos underneath. It’s a scenario many readers in their late twenties or thirties will recognize: a bittersweet mix of nostalgia and the stark reality that growing up often means growing apart. And as this story shows, sometimes those old friendships hide new secrets capable of sparking serious fireworks.
The setting is a classic New Year’s house party in the Midwest, complete with hors d’oeuvres, silly party games, and champagne fizzing over plastic flutes. There’s an almost cinematic quality to the backdrop: imagine a cozy living room decked with twinkle lights and half-forgotten inside jokes. It all feels comfortingly familiar until the stroke of midnight approaches and the atmosphere shifts from festive to foreboding.
The author uses the holiday’s bubbly energy as a clever contrast to the darkness lurking among the guests. One minute, the friends are clinking glasses, and the next minute, we’re reminded that this isn’t your typical New Year’s bash. The confetti isn’t the only thing hitting the floor tonight. By the time the clock strikes twelve, someone will be dead, and that glittery party backdrop suddenly feels more chilling than cheerful.
If New Year’s is about resolving to change, these friends are more focused on revealing what’s been hidden. Every guest at Olivia’s party has a secret (or three) tucked away, and watching those secrets spill out is half the thrill. Satterthwaite masterfully unravels the group’s tangled web of lies and grudges through sharp dialogue and tense exchanges. Little confessions drop like unexpected party favors, each one upping the stakes.
Did someone just confess to an affair under their breath, or is that a hint of financial disaster behind a forced smile? With each reveal, alliances in the room shift on a dime. It’s the kind of drama that feels uncomfortably real (who hasn’t worried about a friend blabbing a confidence after a few drinks?), yet it escalates into deliciously high-stakes territory. In The New Year’s Party, secrets aren’t just social ticking bombs; they’re motives, each potent enough to push someone over the edge.
The novel doesn’t stick to one storyteller. Instead, it hands the mic to nearly everyone at the party. That means we hop between multiple characters’ viewpoints, each chapter peeling back a new layer of the night’s events. This narrative style gives readers a 360-degree view of the chaos. We see grudges, fears, and long-held resentments from every angle. It’s an ambitious move, but it pays off by making the mystery feel rich and communal.
Every friend has their moment to shine or incriminate themselves. The shifting perspectives mimic the vibe of actually being at the party: snippets of whispered conversations, side glances, and private thoughts that only we, the readers, get to piece together. It might sound like a lot to track, but the narrative keeps each voice distinct enough that you quickly remember who’s who and who’s hiding what.
It’s hard to talk about the best parts of a murder mystery without giving things away, but here’s what can be said: The New Year’s Party does not disappoint when it comes to twists. The novel opens with a bang, quite literally, as we find out in the first few pages that one of the friends is dead. From there, the story rewinds to the morning of the party and methodically builds suspense.
Every chapter ends on a note that dares you not to read the next. Satterthwaite plants red herrings throughout, so just when you think you’ve figured out the victim or the culprit, another curveball hits. By the final chapters, multiple mini-bombs drop, each one more shocking than the last. It’s a thrill ride that will make you second-guess every character’s alibi. Best of all, the big reveal lands with a satisfying punch, leaving no loose ends in the confetti.
At its heart, The New Year’s Party is both a cautionary tale and a celebration of the messy bonds between friends. It asks how well we really know the people we grew up with, and how much we’ve all changed since high school. The narrative flows like a lively conversation, mixing nostalgia and shock in equal measure. For a younger audience, especially, the story feels fresh and dynamic, addressing modern anxieties (hello, burnout and social media envy) while delivering old-school thriller payoffs.
It’s a page-turner that can make you cringe in recognition one moment and gasp in surprise the next. Polished yet playful, this novel has the irresistible vibe of a New Year’s Eve party you’d hate to miss (minus the actual homicide, of course). In the end, Jenna Satterthwaite serves up a fizzy cocktail of suspense and insight that goes down easy with a wicked aftertaste!
The New Year’s Party manages to be both a razor-sharp friendship drama and a crackling murder mystery that leaves you breathless by midnight.
What are your thoughts on The New Year’s Party? Let us know all your thoughts in the comments below or over on Twitter, Instagram, or Facebook!
TO LEARN MORE ABOUT JENNA SATTERTHWAITE:
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Asia M.
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More documents related to Jeffrey Epstein were handed over to the House Oversight Committee this week, including the letter and drawings signed with President Donald Trump’s name in the so-called birthday book. Now ahead of the public release on Monday, Democrats on the committee posted on social media revealing the page first reported on by the Wall Street Journal back in July. While old images circulating online of his signature on other documents do seem to resemble the signature in the. The president has repeatedly denied writing the letter and sued the Wall Street Journal for defamation. White House press secretary Caroline Levitt said in part, it’s very clear President Trump did not draw this picture, and he did not sign it. The committee also released Epstein’s last will and testament, entries from his address book and the 2007 non-prosecution agreement between Epstein and the US Attorney’s Office for the Southern District of Florida. The panel has been investigating the Epstein case and subpoenaed the estate for documents as part of its ongoing probe. We’ve got *** lot more documents we expect to get in. Uh, we’re gonna bring *** lot of people in for depositions, so this investigation is moving along very rapidly and hopefully we’ll get some answers for and some justice very soon. But some say the committee isn’t going far enough. In *** separate effort, *** bipartisan pair of House lawmakers is working to force *** vote on *** measure calling for the full release of documents related to Epstein. They need 218 signatures on *** discharge petition in order to bypass leadership and force the vote, reporting at the White House, I’m Julie Vanbrook.
Epstein emails released by Democrats say Trump ‘knew about the girls’ and spent time with a victim
Updated: 8:11 AM PST Nov 12, 2025
Disgraced financier Jeffrey Epstein wrote in a 2011 email that Donald Trump had “spent hours” at Epstein’s house with a victim of sex trafficking and said in a separate message years later that Trump “knew about the girls,” according to communications released Wednesday.The emails made public by Democrats on the House Oversight Committee add to the questions about Trump’s friendship with Epstein and about any knowledge he may have had in what prosecutors call a yearslong effort by Epstein to exploit underage girls. The Republican president has consistently denied any knowledge of Epstein’s alleged crimes and has said he ended their relationship years ago.The messages are part of a batch of 23,000 documents provided by Epstein’s estate to the Oversight Committee. The release resurfaces a storyline that had shadowed Trump’s presidency during the summer when the FBI and the Justice Department abruptly announced that they would not be releasing additional documents that investigators had spent weeks examining, disappointing conspiracy theorists and online sleuths who had expected to see new revelations.In an April 2, 2011, email to Ghislaine Maxwell, an Epstein girlfriend now imprisoned for conspiring to engage in sex trafficking, Epstein wrote, “I want you to realize that that dog that hasn’t barked is Trump. (Redacted name) spent hours at my house with him ,, he has never once been mentioned. police chief. etc. im 75 % there.”Maxwell replied the same day: “I have been thinking about that.”The name of the person said to have spent time with Trump was blacked out of the email, but House Democrats identified the person as a “victim.”In a separate 2019 email to journalist Michael Wolff, who has written extensively about Trump, Epstein wrote of Trump, “Of course he knew about the girls as he asked ghislaine to stop.”White House spokeswoman Karoline Leavitt accused the Democrats of having “selectively leaked emails” to “create a fake narrative to smear President Trump.”She said in a statement that the unnamed person referenced in the emails is Virginia Giuffre, who had accused Britain’s Prince Andrew and other influential men of sexually exploiting her as a teenager and who died by suicide in April. Andrew has rejected Giuffre’s allegations and said he didn’t recall meeting her.Leavitt said in a statement that Giuffre had “repeatedly said President Trump was not involved in any wrongdoing whatsoever and ‘couldn’t have been friendlier’ to her in their limited interactions.”“The fact remains that President Trump kicked Jeffrey Epstein out of his club decades ago for being a creep to his female employees, including Giuffre,” the statement said. “These stories are nothing more than bad-faith efforts to distract from President Trump’s historic accomplishments, and any American with common sense sees right through this hoax and clear distraction from the government opening back up again.”Giuffre came forward publicly after an initial investigation ended in an 18-month Florida jail term for Epstein, who made a secret deal to avoid federal prosecution by pleading guilty instead to relatively minor state-level charges of soliciting prostitution. He was released in 2009.In subsequent lawsuits, Giuffre said she was a teenage spa attendant at Mar-a-Lago, Trump’s Palm Beach, Florida, club, when she was approached in 2000 by Maxwell.Epstein took his own life in a New York jail in 2019 while awaiting trial on federal charges.Lawyers for Maxwell, a British socialite, have argued that she never should have been tried or convicted for her role in luring teenage girls to be sexually abused by Epstein. She is serving a 20-year prison term, though she was moved from a low-security federal prison in Florida to a minimum-security prison camp in Texas after she was interviewed in July by Deputy Attorney General Todd Blanche.
Disgraced financier Jeffrey Epstein wrote in a 2011 email that Donald Trump had “spent hours” at Epstein’s house with a victim of sex trafficking and said in a separate message years later that Trump “knew about the girls,” according to communications released Wednesday.
The emails, made public by Democrats on the House Oversight Committee, add to the questions about Trump’s friendship with Epstein and about any knowledge he may have had in what prosecutors call a yearslong effort by Epstein to exploit underage girls. The Republican president has consistently denied any knowledge of Epstein’s alleged crimes and has said he ended their relationship years ago.
In one 2011 email to Ghislaine Maxwell, an Epstein girlfriend now imprisoned for conspiring to engage in sex trafficking, Epstein wrote, “I want you to realize that that dog that hasn’t barked is Trump.” He added that Trump had “spent hours at my house” with a person whose name is blacked out of the emails but who House Democrats identified as a “victim.” Epstein wrote that Trump “has never once been mentioned.”
In a separate email to journalist Michael Wolff, who has written extensively about Trump, Epstein wrote of Trump, “Of course he knew about the girls as he asked ghislaine to stop.”
The White House did not immediately return a message seeking comment Wednesday.
Epstein died by suicide in a New York jail in 2019 while awaiting trial on federal charges.
Lawyers for Maxwell, a British socialite, have argued that she never should have been tried or convicted for her role in luring teenage girls to be sexually abused by Epstein. She is serving a 20-year prison term, though she was moved from a low-security federal prison in Florida to a minimum-security prison camp in Texas after she was interviewed in July by Deputy Attorney General Todd Blanche.
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Théoden Janes pedals along the Ironman California bike course on Oct. 19.
Well now THAT’S gonna leave a mark.
This is what instantly flashed through my mind as I peeked over my left forearm to discover that it looked like a wild animal had gone and chomped a big chunk out of my elbow.
Just a handful of seconds earlier, I’d been chugging along on my trusty old bike — a 2014 Trek Speed Concept once owned and raced by my former-pro-triathlete coach — in one of the most ambitious endurance races I’ve ever attempted: Ironman California, consisting of a 2.4-mile swim in the American River, a 112-mile bike ride, and a 26.2-mile run through Sacramento.
I made it 101.1 miles into the bike course.
Then, on a shady (both literally and figuratively) chipsealed country road long overdue for a repaving, I felt a violent jolt and was suddenly launched over the top of my handlebars at about 17 miles per hour. Never saw it coming.
It didn’t happen in slow-motion. It was definitely regular-motion.
There still was time for me to think, however, as I was flying: How the heck is this happening? Perhaps using an alternate word for heck.
Then my elbow (along with several other body parts) was slamming into and sliding across the sharp pieces of gravel embedded in the asphalt. Then a paramedic was pulling up in a truck with flashing lights and looking at me and telling me, officially, that he could not let me continue to race. Then I was getting hauled back downtown in another truck, jammed into the rear seat with two other triathletes who had to drop out.
Then an urgent-care doctor was walking into the exam room, taking one look at my elbow, and letting slip the words, “Oh, s—!”
Eight stitches later … uhh, yeah, that’s gonna leave a mark.
But this is the part where I tell you that the very-gnarly scar that eventually forms on my elbow will always be a reminder of the value of having good friends.
In my 20s, I struggled with friendships. I moved around the country a lot, and as a result I found it difficult to form and maintain significant ones.
I wasn’t quite Paul Rudd’s Peter Klaven in “I Love You, Man,” the brilliant 2009 rom-com about a groom-to-be who starts actively recruiting male friends after realizing he doesn’t have any — or, at least, not one well-suited to be his best man. But let’s just say my speed-dial list didn’t go much beyond my wife and my immediate family.
Everything started to change, gradually, after we moved to Charlotte in 2006. I’ll give you the CliffsNotes version:
Then the pandemic hit, and for many months we couldn’t hang out indoors. But we could still run together. So we did. Frequently. Since we were all working from home and more flexible. Since there was nothing else to do on the weekends. We’d run on Sunday mornings, then go get breakfast on whatever patio was open, and talk for hours. We’d run on Tuesday evenings, then stand around until long after our sweat dried, cracking jokes and (responsibly) drinking beer.
I know Covid caused a lot of despair and a lot of death. I know it also caused a lot of people to feel pretty isolated. For that, I’m genuinely sorry.
From my perspective, however, that period of time was a gift. Before the pandemic, we’d had a strong foundation for a solid friend group. Afterward, we owned a big, beautiful house.
Then one day near the end of last summer, a unique opportunity came knocking on our door.
My friend Chuck was adamantly opposed to the sport of triathlon.
Whenever someone in our group brought up the idea of him trying a tri, his response was always the same: “Absolutely never.” So, like good friends are apt to do, we brought up the idea as often as we could.
On this particular day, we were at a big team pool party. Seven or eight of his primary antagonists, including me, were all standing around when the idea came up, again. Chuck said “Absolutely never,” again.
I decided to go after a weak spot. Chuck’s late father suffered from Parkinson’s disease, and he’s long been a big supporter of The Michael J. Fox Foundation for Parkinson’s Research. Without really thinking about it, I asked, “How much money would we have to raise to get you to do an Ironman?” He replied, without really thinking about it, “Uhh … $15,000.”
I was stunned. I felt like that’d be easy. He obviously felt raising $15K would be very hard, and thought tossing out that amount would shut us all up.
It didn’t. After we all shook on it, I went home and created a fundraising page in his name.
You can probably guess where this all goes from here. Two and a half months later, Chuck grudgingly registered for the 2025 edition of Ironman California. And since we were never going to make him do something he really did not want to do alone, those seven or eight of his primary antagonists, including me, signed up, too.
What we didn’t anticipate was how viral this would go on our team — in large part to support Chuck on his journey but also just because it was becoming a numbers game.
To explain: It takes months if not close to a year to properly prepare for an Ironman. It involves workouts that can see you leaving the house before 6 a.m. on a Saturday and not returning until mid-afternoon. Training alone can break the strongest athletes, mentally. But if you have others to train with, who are doing the same Ironman race, on the same schedule, the idea becomes easier to stomach.
By the time all was said and done, 33 of us were signed up, including about a dozen first-timers.
(Quick aside: I wish I could help you appreciate how stupefyingly unusual this is, to get that many people who know each other to register for the same Ironman. It’s maybe sort of like convincing 30 people you know to all go skydiving with you on the same day at the same time. The previous two Ironmans I’d done, I knew about five other people racing.)
We became like a fraternity, bonding over our shared suffering, over teasing Chuck about his burning hatred of cycling, or over teasing me about my burning hatred of swimming, or over the journey’s simplest of pleasures: oatmeal-creme pies at the end of long runs. We found excuses to get together for a beer as often as we found ourselves meeting at Huntersville Business Park for our regular Saturday-morning rides.
And although the law of averages says that with so many people riding their bikes on so many public roads for so many miles in this bike-unfriendly city will eventually result in an accident, no one among our group had a crash.
Until mine, on race day.
I’m not gonna lie, my elbow HURT.
Also, yeah, I won’t sit here and tell you that I’m happy I didn’t get to finish something I’d spent six months training for.
I had just 11 miles left to ride, a sore butt and an aching neck. I was looking forward to getting off of my bike and running around the city, looking forward to spotting all of my friends in our matching pink-and-blue tri suits, giving them high-fives, cheering them on, maybe even ultimately crossing the finish line with one of my favorite friends, like I did at the finish line of my first Ironman, 11 years ago.
But I promise you — even as I was sailing through the air, even when I was sitting there in the middle of the road bleeding as other cyclists zoomed past, even as I was in the truck with those two other athletes who’d also had to drop out, even as I was getting stitched up at the urgent care — I didn’t spend a second feeling sorry for myself.
I was too busy thinking of my friends.
I’m serious. This isn’t me trying to say something that sounds noble. This is me saying that, once I had my bearings and a temporary bandage on my arm and an idea of what treatment I needed, I was mainly focused on making it back to the finish line in time to see my friends cross.
Unfortunately, it’s pretty hard to get around cities that are hosting an Ironman, and, well, it takes some time to get into and out of an urgent care center.
By the time I got into the exam room, though, I had my phone on me, and I had my wife with me, and we were closely following the app that was tracking all of my friends while also trying to politely listen to the doctor. And when my iPhone wasn’t buzzing with notifications about someone’s progress in the race, it was vibrating as it delivered a parade of texts from friends checking in to make sure I was OK, or to say how sorry they were about my wreck.
I’m fine, I assured them. It could have been much worse, I wrote.
But as the texts kept coming in, alongside all the race updates — which were starting to reflect not just progress but finishes — I was finding my way to putting a finger on the feeling that was giving the pain in my elbow a run for its money.
I was more than simply “fine.” I was grateful. And not just that my injuries weren’t worse.
I’m grateful for this journey I’ve been on. This whole journey, which started with an interest in getting healthy, was enhanced by my intentionality about building and growing a sense of interconnectedness within my social circle, then found surprising new ways to enrich my life.
I’m grateful for the physical ability and mental fortitude to even attempt something like an Ironman in the first place.
I’m grateful for a partner, in my wife, who supported me in training for it even when she had to spend half the weekend alone (and who has since my accident been a pro at nursing my wounds).
I’m grateful for a wonderful friend group, those who were racing and without even knowing it helped distract me from my own misfortune, but also those who weren’t and took the time to show concern for my well-being — to in almost every case express more sadness that I couldn’t finish the race than I felt myself(!).
And I’m grateful that although I missed seeing many of those friends I trained with actually complete the race, I was there in time to see Chuck make the final turns toward the finish line.
So that he could blame me, in person, for making him do this stupid race.
I have a couple other notable scars on my body. A dozen years ago, I got four stitches in my thumb, when a flower vase broke in my hand. As a little kid, I got three stitches in my knee, cut with a Swiss army knife when I tried to throw it at a target on my bedroom door and, um, missed. Neither are fond memories.
I think, though, that this one on my elbow will always give me a good reason to smile.
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Théoden Janes
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Friendship is often described as one of life’s greatest buffers against stress and loneliness. But when the balance tips and you find yourself giving far more than you receive, the relationship can shift from a source of strength to a steady drain.
Experts told Newsweek that the earliest warning signs of a one-sided friendship are easy to overlook—yet noticing them could spare years of resentment.
“True friendship isn’t transactional; it’s built on mutual care and showing up in both the easy and difficult moments,” said Sharon Yu, a licensed family therapist in California.
Zoe Asher, a friendship coach and host of the friendship-focused podcast Accidentally Intentional, added: “At the end of the day, friendships are supposed to be a two-way street. If you’re the only one paying the tolls long-term, then it isn’t friendship—it’s a drain.”
Dr. Kimberly Horn, a research psychologist and author of Friends Matter, For Life, said the science backs this up: “When the balance consistently tilts one way, tension builds, and reciprocity, the heartbeat of friendship, breaks down.”
Here’s how to spot the red flags before they take a toll, according to the three experts.
“If you’re the one consistently initiating texts, calls, or plans—and they rarely do the same—it can be a sign that the friendship depends on your energy to keep it alive,” Yu told Newsweek.
Asher said she once needed to be confronted by a friend to realize she was not pulling her weight emotionally. That conversation did not end the relationship—it made it stronger. She hopes that her experience can encourage others to communicate their needs.
“She gave me a gift by extending the opportunity for me to clarify, and from there, we built something deeper,” Asher said.
Yu advised watching how present a friend is in difficult times. If they disappear when you are struggling but expect comfort when it is their turn to get support, the imbalance is clear.
Still, Asher warned against treating crisis support as the only measure of friendship. The podcast host said that lots of people think a “good friendship” means having someone who will drop everything when you are in crisis, but that she considers this metric a really low bar.
“If your entire definition of friendship is based on emergencies, then you’re treating it like a transaction,” she said. “Arthur Brooks talks about the value of ‘useless friends,’ and I love that phrase. He means the friends who aren’t there just to fix something, but to simply enjoy life with you.”
For Asher, the casual coffee hangouts, the last-minute accountability check-ins, and the random laughs on a Tuesday night matter just as much as being there in the tough times. The podcast host says that an important caveat is that there are seasons where a friend genuinely does not have much to give. They could be in the midst of grief, caregiving, dealing with a health concern or burnout.
Horn noted that inconsistent support, what she calls “ambivalence,” can result in higher levels of stress under the surface.
“Unpredictability in a friendship forces your body into constant vigilance, causing an unhealthy stress burden,” she said.
“When most of your interactions revolve around their stories, their stress, or their successes, while your own life goes largely unnoticed, this imbalance can leave you feeling unseen,” Yu said.
Horn added that when this happens, resentment is never far behind.
“If you often leave time together feeling drained, resentful, or questioning your value, the friendship is probably taking more than it gives,” she said.
Asher recalled a client who shared a career win only to be met with jealousy from their friend, rather than a congratulations.
“Moments like this cut deep,” she said. “True friends don’t just show up when you’re down; they are also the ones cheering you on.”
Sometimes, though, flat reactions may come from insecurity rather than a lack of care. Asher suggested giving friends the chance to rise to the occasion, by communicating to them that the “win” is a big deal and that they would love to celebrate alongside them.
“If you express a need for space, rest, or a boundary and it’s dismissed, minimized, or guilt-tripped, it’s worth noticing,” Yu said. “Respect for each other’s limits is a cornerstone of sustainable, affirming relationships.”
Asher added: “If you saying ‘no’ means your friend guilt-trips you, gets angry, or disappears, then the friendship isn’t really mutual. That shows they wanted your compliance, not your connection.”
Yu said that when you find yourself saying “yes” out of habit or guilt rather than genuine desire, the friendship may no longer feel nourishing.
Horn explained that if you start “keeping score” of who texts, calls, or makes plans, that bookkeeping itself is a signal that something is wrong.
“It’s because the lack of reciprocity has left you feeling undervalued, unseen,” she said. “That mental bookkeeping is a red flag.”
Yu urged people to check how they feel physically and emotionally after spending time with a friend.
“Do you feel lighter, understood, or grounded—or instead, exhausted, anxious, or diminished?” she asked.
Asher agreed, adding that friendships should lift you up, not shrink you down, but the podcast host says these moments can be opportunities rather than endings.
“Instead of silently stewing on it, I encourage others to bring it up,” she said. “Hard conversations can either unlock a whole new level of depth—or give you the clarity that it’s time to let go.”
Not every season of imbalance means a friendship is doomed. Life circumstances can temporarily tilt the scales, and sometimes, an honest conversation is all that is needed to restore reciprocity.
Sometimes you can rebuild something new instead of labeling a friend “toxic” or walking away at the first sign of hurt. In fact, some of the deepest connections hinge on hard conversations.
But if the signs of a one-sided friendship keep piling up, the experts unanimously agree it may be time to reassess, as friendships have a bigger toll on our emotional lives than we often perceive.
As Horn, whose book about friendship was endorsed by Mel Robbins, put it: “Research shows when we trust our friends to be as equally generous of time and spirit as we are, we work harder to keep the bond—opening up in ways that deepen the friendship.”
Are you and your friend stuck in an argument? Let us know via life@newsweek.com. We can ask experts for advice, and your story could be featured on Newsweek.
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Astrology can give us initial insight into our personality, our purpose, and yes, how compatible we are with other people. In the case of Geminis and Leos, these two signs might seem like an unexpected pairing, but they actually have a lot to offer each other. Here’s what to know about this matchup, from friendships to romance and more, from an astrologer.
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As air and water signs, respectively, Libra and Scorpio are going to have different approaches to emotions. As the AstroTwins previously explained to mbg, “Like the breeze, you can’t quite catch [air signs], and you never know where they’ll drop you once they sweep you up.” Water signs, on the other hand, prioritize security, including in their relationships. “Security is important to them,” the twins say, adding, “After all, water needs a container, or it dries up and disappears.”
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Self-care doesn’t have to be expensive or elaborate. Often, the most restorative habits are the ones that fit effortlessly into our lives: taking a deep breath before a meeting, jotting down a few thoughts before bed, or spending time doing something you genuinely enjoy.
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These two also have a different way of feeling and nurturing their own emotions, even if they are both very in tune with them. For Pisces, Pennington says, they have a hopeful, optimistic attitude—almost akin to rose-colored glasses. Scorpio, though, is more focused on protection, even to the point of paranoia.
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Have you ever felt confused or overwhelmed or wondered how a friend or partner feels? Maybe you’ve gotten to the point in a relationship where you aren’t moving forward. Perhaps the relationship has plateaued. When this happens, it is possible one or both of you are emotionally unavailable.
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For me, personally, I modeled so much of my behavior after my mother and grandmother. Growing up I thought they were perfect. They did everything for everyone and never made things about themselves. I chose to mimic the behaviors of the two people I felt safest with, not knowing until later in life how unappreciated, taken advantage of, and unhappy they both felt on a deep level. Looking back, so much of my understanding of avoidance came from watching them overlook their own needs to continue their plight of being everything for everyone else.
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Beauty & Health Editor
Hannah Frye is the Beauty & Health Editor at mindbodygreen. She has a B.S. in journalism and a minor in women’s, gender, and queer studies from California Polytechnic State University, San Luis Obispo. Hannah has written across lifestyle sections including beauty, women’s health, mental health, sustainability, social media trends, and more. She previously worked for Almost 30, a top-rated health and wellness podcast. In her current role, Hannah reports on the latest beauty trends and innovations, women’s health research, brain health news, and plenty more.
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Tuson Jewell has responded to a social media user who shared a message asking for him and Ari Fletcher to “fix” their friendship.
On Monday, September 2, a user on X, formerly known as Twitter, with the handle @ThatGirlAsiaMac took to the platform to share a tweet about Tuson Jewell and Fletcher.
“I’m so sad about Ari & Tuson… please fix it,” they wrote.
Tuson apparently caught wind of the tweet and replied. In response, he seemingly explained to the user that he will be “be better off” without Fletcher’s friendship.
“imagine you letting someone spit at you, them give you they a** to kiss, and ain’t putting you on frfr” he added.
Tuson explained to the user that there’s “nothing to fix…”
“It is what it is the era was entertaining but it’s kinda ova wit boo…” he concluded.
Another user on X then questioned Tuson’s statement about Fletcher not “putting” him on by writing, “She’s puttin you on by puttin you out there. If you can’t do nothing with that how is that her fault?”
In response, Tuson seemingly explained that Fletcher never put him on and solely took advantage of him as a friend.
“Lol and let me just clear this one up…. Putting me on and and taken advantage of a ‘friend’ is too totally different things,” he wrote. “mfs seen a opportunity and seized it I ain’t mad but knowing better I move better… it’s all apart of the game GOD GOT ME!”
Check out Tuson’s comments below.
Social media users reacted to Tuson Jewell’s latest statements regarding his rift with Fletcher in The Shade Room’s comment section.
Instagram user @kisssymisskrissy wrote, “you spit on me & ima twist your lips so tight, they gone be twisted until 5027.”
While Instagram user @teesofiine added, “Yall saying he entitled but not really he was on her cooking show making it entertaining i only watched that cooking show because he was on there”
Instagram user @stlbby wrote, “Damn I thought this was a joke or lil stunt at first..”
While Instagram user @_yeahthatsher added, “The love that Tyson showed her publicly gave a real genuine friend! Like how do you let go of genuine love?!”
Instagram user @iknowwhereiwanttoeat wrote, “This why people should mind their business, you never really know what goes on behind closed doors”
While Instagram user @theemissking added, “Idk the whole story but her lying about giving him 20,000 and not paying him for that cooking show is dead wrong of her”
Instagram user @lord__azula wrote, “A bunch of mean girls realizing their mean girls. He’s no victim. They all spew nastiness to everyone with a pulse. He never checked her when she did it to others. You didn’t think you were next?”
While Instagram user @_champagnemamixo_ added, “Not putting you on? Entitlement is crazy.. but if she spit on you that’s insane😭”
Instagram user @bevutifull wrote, “That Disrespect Be All The Closure That’s Needed 🤌🏻”
While Instagram user @mermaid_monroe added, “There is always two sides to every story and then there’s the truth! There is clearly more to the story here.”
As The Shade Room previously reported, Fletcher and Tuson initially went viral in July when Fletcher presented Tuson with a $20,000 check for his birthday. At the time, Fletcher took to social media to share that the money was for Tuson to buy a new car.
In August, however, Tuson returned to social media, revealing that he had launched a GoFundMe campaign, per The Shade Room. Additionally, Tuson accused Fletcher of reneging on her promise of $20,000 and telling him he would instead receive $10,000.
Furthermore, Tuson alleged that Fletcher never presented him with the money. However, this posed an issue since he had already begun the process of purchasing a car.
Fletcher has not explicitly addressed the matter since Tuson took to social media to share the allegations against her. Most recently, however, Fletcher did share a message about not reacting to things impulsively amid Tuson releasing a song about their fallout.
What Do You Think Roomies?
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Jadriena Solomon
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Being a sensitive person who can pick up on the feelings and energy of others sets you up for uncommonly close connections. It can be a very nourishing experience to feel so in tune with the people and world around you. Yet being a hyper-perceptive empath who picks up on everything—including the energy of spaces and subtleties in physical stimuli—can also be overwhelming.
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