ReportWire

Tag: Failing Marriage

  • 11 Signs Of Unsupportive Husband During Pregnancy

    11 Signs Of Unsupportive Husband During Pregnancy

    [ad_1]

    Pregnancy can be an exhilarating and, at the same time nerve-wracking, time in a woman’s life. You’re bringing new life into this world, a life you created with the man you love. There is so much to look forward to. Then, there are worries and anxieties about the well-being of your unborn child. Not to mention the grueling physical discomfort. This roller-coaster of excitement, worries, and fear can become even harder to bear when there are signs of unsupportive husband during pregnancy.

    As an expecting mother, you need all the love, care, and pampering you can get from the people around you, especially your spouse. When your man fails to step up, you end up feeling alone and unsupported during pregnancy. This can turn one of the most memorable experiences of your life into a nightmare. What should you do in a situation like this? Well, the first order of business is to ascertain that you’re, in fact, dealing with an unsupportive husband.

    Given how hormonal changes in the body put you in an emotional tizzy, it’s possible to misinterpret every disappointment or unmet expectation as a sign of an uncaring husband. Just because your husband doesn’t understand pregnancy mood swings every single time doesn’t necessarily mean he is insensitive and unsupportive. Even if he is, there are ways to handle the situation tactfully and mitigate the risk of your relationship falling apart. To that end, let’s look closely at the signs of unsupportive husband during pregnancy and ways to deal with the situation.  

    How Pregnancy Affects Relationships

    Before we talk about what it means to have an unsupportive husband during pregnancy, it’s important to drive home the fact that this is a transformative experience for both spouses, and it invariably impacts your relationship dynamics. The physical, emotional, and psychological changes are bound to shift how you engage with your partner and vice versa. Some common changes you can expect during this time include:

    1. Emotional roller coaster that can strain communication

    Emotional turbulence can strain communication

    Pregnancy hormones bring with them a flurry of mood swings, emotional sensitivity, and anxiety. You may feel more insecure and irritable than usual, and this can leave your partner feeling confused as they’re dealing with emotions that may not have been part of your equation before. The resulting emotional turbulence can strain communication between partners.

    2. Changes in intimacy

    Pregnancy often alters sexual intimacy between a couple. This can be either due to discomfort or anxiety about sexual activity. This can further exacerbate anxieties about your relationship with your spouse, leaving you thinking, “My husband lost interest in me sexually when I got pregnant.” Focusing too much on questions like, “How do you deal with lack of intimacy during pregnancy?”, can lead to you to feel extra pressure about the altered nature of your sexual relationship, resulting in tension between you and your spouse.

    Related Reading: Lack Of Affection And Intimacy In A Relationship — 9 Ways It Affects You

    3. Increased financial and parental responsibilities

    Financial and logistical planning to prepare for the arrival of your baby can also be a source of stress, even more so if you and your spouse aren’t on the same page about expectations or roles or if you haven’t had in-depth discussions about finances, parental responsibilities, and a support system to make your transition into parenthood easier.

    4. Shift in relationship dynamics

    my husband makes me feel alone during pregnancy
    Pregnancy changes a couple’s equation

    The focus of your marriage shifts from just the two of you to the arrival of your baby. If your spouse is hyperfocused on the baby’s arrival and can only seem to talk about what to do and not to do when it happens, it can leave you feeling neglected and overwhelmed. And you may find it hard to shake off the thought, “My husband makes me feel alone during pregnancy.” On the other hand, for many couples, pregnancy can deepen emotional intimacy and connection, as they share the anticipation of welcoming a child.

    5. Increased anxiety and stress

    Of course, worries about health, the future, and the enormous responsibility of parenting can be a cause of stress and anxiety for both partners. If you don’t find a way to share these feelings and support one another through this journey, you may feel distant and disconnected from your spouse.

    Related Reading: Solutions To 10 Relationship Problems After Having A Baby

    11 Signs Of Unsupportive Husband During Pregnancy

    My friend, Elena, struggled with feeling rejected by husband during pregnancy right from the beginning. The nausea, the mood swings, and constant exhaustion made her more irritable by the day, and her husband failed to recognize that all of these changes were par for the course during pregnancy. He responded with irritation and annoyance, leading to constant bickering and fights.

    Within weeks, the distance between them grew so much that they barely spoke. Her husband, Greg, spent all his time at home with his face buried in his phone. Restless and unable to sleep one night, Elena decided to check what was keeping Greg so engrossed. To her shock and horror, he was not only stalking his ex on Instagram but had also started DM-ing her. Even though the conversations were harmless, Elena was distraught. There are clear signs he’s cheating during pregnancy, she told me.

    feeling alone and unsupported during pregnancy
    Noticing that your husband isn’t supportive can put a huge strain on your relationship

    Of course, this put a huge strain on their marriage. Even though Elena and Greg are still together, their marriage is now riddled with resentment and trust issues. Greg’s behavior was a peak example of signs of unsupportive husband during pregnancy. While not all husbands may go that far, the following actions may leave you feeling alone and unsupported during pregnancy:

    1. He’s not emotionally available

    Emotional unavailability can leave you feeling rejected by husband during pregnancy. If he avoids talking about the pregnancy or dealing with the roller-coaster of emotions you’re going through, you may begin to feel as if he has emotionally checked out.

    Clinical psychologist Dr. Julie Bindeman says, “Emotional availability during pregnancy is crucial. Without it, feelings of isolation can develop and this can lead to distance between partners. Pregnancy is a time when emotions run high and ignoring their wives’ needs during this time is what husbands should not do during pregnancy. If your husband is not there to offer reassurance or a listening ear, it can leave you feeling alone.

    Related Reading: In Love With An Emotionally Unavailable Man? 10 Tips To Connect With Him

    2. He dismisses your pregnancy discomfort

    Apart from emotional ups and downs, pregnancy also comes with its share of physical discomfort—morning sickness, back pain, swollen feet, heartburn, it’s a wide buffet of distress. If instead of listening to you with empathy, your husband brushes these off as “no big deal”, it’s a sure red flag.

    Explaining why this may leave a woman feeling alone and unsupported during pregnancy, psychologist Dr. Sheryl Ziegler says, “Acknowledging physical discomfort is key. Even when there’s nothing a man can do to fix it, simply showing care and understanding helps build emotional closeness.”

    3. He doesn’t go with you to doctor’s appointments

    feeling rejected by husband during pregnancy
    He leaves you to fend for yourself

    One of the irrefutable signs of unsupportive husband during pregnancy is that he keeps finding reasons to skip prenatal visits or appointments. Of course, there can be times when he may not be able to accompany you owing to work commitments or other responsibilities—for example, if you already have a child, your husband may want to stay home and look after him/her if they’re sick or just generally struggling to cope with your pregnancy.

    However, if it happens every single time, you may begin to feel like he’s not really invested in this process. This can, in turn, trigger feelings of isolation and loneliness. Why? Penny Simkin, a childbirth educator, explains, “Prenatal visits are about more than just medical updates—they’re opportunities for partners to stay connected and prepare for the baby together.”

    4. He leaves all the housework to you

    Here’s what husbands should not do during pregnancy—leave it to their wives to manage all domestic chores single-handedly and pick up the slack for them as well. Pregnancy is exhausting, and you need to take it easy. That requires your husband to step up and contribute to the housework more. If he is not doing that and instead expects you to manage all the chores like you used to, it can feel like he’s taking you for granted. If he tops it up with misogynistic statements like, “In the olden days, women used to work in the fields and you can’t manage a house,” you can be sure that he is not only unsupportive but downright insensitive.

    Related Reading: How To Redefine Gender Roles In Household Chores

    5. He makes no changes to his routine

    If your husband is making no effort to adjust his routine to your changing needs and continues to prioritize his work, social life, and hobbies over being there for you, you may end up feeling alone and unsupported during pregnancy. Relationship expert Esther Perel explains, “Pregnancy shifts priorities. When a partner remains self-centered, it creates imbalance and can lead to emotional disconnection.”

    6. Lack of intimacy becomes a sore point in your relationship

    how do you deal with lack of intimacy during pregnancy
    Lack of intimacy can make partners feel distant  

    Pregnancy is bound to bring about a change in the sexual dynamics of a relationship. From physical discomfort to apprehensions about the baby’s well-being, a lot of factors can get in the way of a couple engaging in sexual intercourse during pregnancy. That can be stressful for a relationship.

    At this time, both you and your partner need to find an answer to the question: how do you deal with lack of intimacy during pregnancy? There are a lot of ways to feel close and be intimate that don’t involve intercourse. If instead he just complains about his needs not being met or acts grumpy and irritable or picks fights with you, it can not only leave you thinking, “My husband lost interest in me sexually when I got pregnant”, but also make you feel unloved and unsupported.

    7. He shows little interest in baby preparations

    From setting up the nursery to putting together baby gear, zeroing in on a name to attending Lamaze classes, there is so much to be done before the baby’s arrival. If your husband shows little or no interest in these activities, it signals a lack of enthusiasm, which can be heartbreaking for you as an expecting mother.

    “Getting excited about the baby’s arrival together is key to strengthening your bond. When one partner doesn’t show interest, it can cause feelings of disconnection and concern.”

    — Dr. Laura Markham, a parenting coach

    8. He complains about the impact of the pregnancy on him

    Another one of the telling signs of unsupportive husband during pregnancy is that even though you’re the one going through all the physical changes and enduring emotional and physical discomfort, he is the one who complains about how inconvenient it’s all been for him.

    If he complains about how you’re not as active as before or how things have changed between you two, it can make you feel guilty. Explaining why this is not healthy behavior, relationship therapist Dr. Laura Berman says, “Complaining about a partner’s pregnancy limitations reflects a lack of empathy. This is a time for compassion and patience, not self-centered frustrations.”

    9. He doesn’t want to talk about parenting

    A man who shuts down whenever you try to talk about parenting or what life will look like after the baby arrives is clearly trying to avoid the reality of what’s coming. Whatever his reasons and fears may be, unless he opens up to you about them, this behavior can leave you feeling uncertain about his level of commitment and create anxiety.

    Related Reading: My Husband Is Always Angry And Rude To Me

    10.  He downplays your fears and anxieties

    If, along with shutting down himself, he brushes off your worries about childbirth, being a parent, or the baby’s health, it’s one of the clear signs of unsupportive husband during pregnancy. Phrases like “Don’t worry about it”, “You’re overthinking things”, and “It’s not that big an issue” can lead to a sense of invalidation, which, in turn, makes it hard for you to open up to your husband.

    This can compromise effective communication in the relationship. Therapist Dr. Julie Hanks says, “Pregnancy-related fears are real, and dismissing them can harm the emotional bond between partners. A supportive husband listens and provides reassurance.”

    11.  He’s short and impatient

    As the pregnancy progresses, you’d start moving slower than before, not be able to do the same activities as before, or feel the need to vent about the discomfort you’re experiencing. All of it is natural and understandable when you’re pregnant. But if he gets frustrated or impatient with you, it shows a lack of understanding. Such behavior may leave you ruing, “My husband makes me feel alone during pregnancy.”

    7 Ways To Deal With An Unsupportive Husband During Pregnancy

    Whether you’re dealing with something as devastating as signs he’s cheating during pregnancy or cannot shake off the “my husband makes me feel alone during pregnancy” thought, it’s important to address the issue of lack of support and involvement proactively rather than letting it fester, waiting for him to see the error of his ways.

    Given how emotionally and physically vulnerable you might feel at this time, you need to weigh your words and actions before you let them play out. Don’t let your emotions control your response to your husband’s lack of support. This is a sensitive situation that needs to be handled delicately. These expert-backed tips can help you deal with an unsupportive husband during pregnancy:

    1. Communicate your needs clearly

    what husbands should not do during pregnancy
    Express your needs clearly

    Your partner may not even realize he’s being unsupportive. It’s easy to assume he knows what you’re going through, but pregnancy can be overwhelming for both of you. So, instead of getting bogged down by thoughts like, “My husband doesn’t understand pregnancy mood swings” or “My husband isn’t there for me while I’m pregnant”, sit down and calmly explain what you need from him—whether it’s more help around the house or just listening when you’re anxious.

    Renowned psychologist and relationship expert Dr. John Gottman says, “Open communication is the foundation of a strong relationship. Expressing your needs clearly and without blame can help your partner understand how to better support you.”

    2. Pick your battles

    Not everything needs to be a fight. Pregnancy can make emotions run high, and it’s easy to get upset over every little thing. Try to focus on the issues that truly matter and let the smaller annoyances slide. This helps keep the peace and reduces stress. Psychologist Dr. Sheryl Ziegler notes, “It’s important to prioritize the bigger issues and let go of minor irritations. This doesn’t mean ignoring your feelings, but rather preserving energy for conversations that lead to growth and understanding.”

    Related Reading: 9 Things To Do When Every Conversation Turns Into An Argument

    3. Involve him in the pregnancy process

    Sometimes men feel disconnected from their partners during pregnancy because they aren’t physically experiencing it. Involving him in things like attending doctor’s appointments, helping with baby preparations, or even reading pregnancy books together can help him feel more connected and invested.

    “The more involved a partner is in the pregnancy, the more likely they are to feel connected to the experience. Engaging in preparations together fosters emotional intimacy educator

    — Penny Simkin, childbirth

    4. Ask for practical help

    Men tend to respond better to clear, actionable requests rather than vague expressions of frustration. If you feel like your husband isn’t supporting you, and as a result, you’re taking on too much, ask for specific help. Whether it’s asking him to cook dinner or pick up groceries, practical help can relieve some of your stress. Parenting coach Dr. Laura Markham emphasizes, “Clear requests for specific tasks are often better received than emotional complaints. Framing it as teamwork can make him more willing to step up.”

    5. Take time for yourselves as a couple

    Pregnancy can shift the focus away from your relationship and toward the baby, which may leave both of you feeling disconnected. Make sure you’re still spending quality time together—whether it’s date nights, quiet dinners at home, or just watching a movie. Strengthening your bond will make him more likely to be supportive.

    on-pregnancy

    6. Seek outside support

    If he’s not being as supportive as you need, it’s okay to lean on friends, family, or even a therapist. Talking to someone you trust can help relieve emotional pressure. Also, having a solid support system beyond your partner can make a huge difference in alleviating your fears and insecurities. Dr. Alexandra Sacks, perinatal psychiatrist, notes, “Building a support network is essential, especially during pregnancy. Don’t hesitate to reach out to others when you need extra emotional or physical help.”

    7. Consider counseling together

    If the lack of support in the relationship is becoming a significant issue, couples counseling can be a great way to work through it. A therapist can help you both communicate better, understand each other’s needs, and navigate the emotional challenges of pregnancy together. If you feel overwhelmed and need professional help, skilled and experienced mental health experts on Bonbology’s panel are here for you.

    Key Pointers

    • Some changes in the relationship dynamics are to be expected when you’re expecting a child
    • However, when your man fails to step up, you end up feeling alone and unsupported during pregnancy
    • Not being emotionally available, being dismissive of your concerns and discomfort, not being invested in the experience, and not prioritizing you are some signs of an unsupportive husband during pregnancy
    • To not let this take a toll on your emotional health and your relationship, you need to foster open communication, involve him in the experience, ask for help when needed, and build a support system
    • If pregnancy is causing too big a strain on your marriage, consider seeking professional help and working through your issues with the guidance of a skilled relationship counselor or mental health expert

    Final Thoughts

    Support, love, and affection are most crucial during a pregnancy. Noticing signs that indicate a lack of empathy and investment on your spouse’s part can be heartbreaking, and this issue needs to be addressed proactively before it gives away to resentment and other negative feelings. A supportive partnership during this period will not only help you feel cared for but also strengthen your bond for the journey ahead.

    5 Ways Our Married Life Changed After A Baby

    Let’s make a baby: A man’s and a woman’s point of view

    How To Keep Relationship Alive After A Baby?

    Your contribution does not constitute a charitable donation. It will allow Bonobology to continue bringing you new and up-to-date information in our pursuit of helping anyone in the world to learn how to do anything.

    Ask Our Expert

    [ad_2]

    Source link

  • Marriage Falling apart Quiz

    Marriage Falling apart Quiz

    [ad_1]

    Do you find yourself reminiscing about when you first got married, feeling like you couldn’t get enough of each other? Then, perhaps somewhere along the way, compliments turned into insults, quality time into arguments, leaving you wondering, “Is my marriage doomed?” Before you descend into a spiral of negative thoughts, let me stop you right there. You’re not the first person to think your marriage is over, and these thoughts don’t necessarily mean that it truly is. Often, we can’t differentiate a bad patch from a bad marriage.

    This is where relationship counselor Dhriti Bhavsar comes in. She has crafted this quiz to silence all those little voices in your head screaming and asking you about your marital future. Through these eight short multiple-choice questions, you will be able to reflect on the ups and downs of your marriage and come closer to identifying issues that may be at the root of your feelings.

    Related Quiz: Is my marriage over? Quiz

    No matter the outcome, the fate of your marriage lies in your hands. You can decide how you want to proceed. Answer them as honestly as you can. Remember, this quiz is only here to serve as a guide and help you – there are no wrong answers

    Questions

    1. How would you rate the current level of communication between you and your spouse?

    1. Excellent
    2. Fair
    3. Poor

    2. How often do you and your spouse argue or disagree about important issues?

    1. Rarely
    2. Occasionally
    3. Frequently

    3. Do you feel emotionally disconnected or distant from your spouse?

    1. No
    2. Sometimes
    3. Yes

    4. Are there unresolved issues or resentments that linger between you and your spouse?

    1. Not really
    2. A few
    3. Several

    Related Quiz: Toxic Marriage Quiz

    5. How satisfied are you with the level of intimacy and affection in your marriage?

    1. Very satisfied
    2. Moderately satisfied
    3. Unsatisfied

    6. Have you noticed a decline in shared activities or quality time spent together with your spouse?

    1. No
    2. Somewhat
    3. Yes

    7. Do you feel optimistic about the future of your marriage?

    1. Yes
    2. Unsure
    3. No

    8. Have you considered seeking outside help or counseling for your marriage?

    1. No
    2. We’ve discussed it
    3. We’re in therapy

    Ask Our Expert

    [ad_2]

    Source link

  • My husband cheated and had a baby with the other woman

    My husband cheated and had a baby with the other woman

    [ad_1]

    My husband and I have been married for 6 years and have 1 daughter. Our marriage hasn’t been good for a while. It feels like we can’t have a single conversation without it turning into a fight. We both love our daughter and so for her sake, I always believed we would fix things eventually. I just found out that my husband cheated and had a baby with the other woman. Apparently they’ve been having an affair for over a year and it was an accident. My husband’s mistress is 7 months pregnant and she wants him to leave me and start a new family with her before the baby comes. I feel lost and I want to protect myself but I don’t know how. What are my rights if my husband cheated on me? Can I sue my husband for getting another woman pregnant? We already have a family together and I just can’t believe he would be stupid enough to have a baby with his mistress. I don’t even know whether I want him to stay with me or not. Please give me advice on what to do if my husband got another woman pregnant.

    Answer:

    I’m sorry to hear that you’re going through such a difficult time. I can imagine that the news of your husband’s infidelity, coupled with the fact that he got the other woman pregnant, can be devastating and emotionally taxing. It’s very important for you now to seek support and connection from friends and family. This is not something you should be handling alone.

    Take the time out for some self-care as well, especially on the days when you don’t want to. Ironically, those are the days when we need it most. This could be in the form of indulging in your hobbies, spending time with loved ones, spending time in nature, etc.

    A good place to start figuring things out from would be to try and understand what it is that you want to do. The decision to stay in the marriage or not is a complex one, so make sure you’re not forcing yourself to lean towards a particular decision. Be as genuine and authentic to your emotional experience as possible. You may consider marriage or couples counseling to figure out what both of you want to do about this marriage.

    It would also help to have an open and honest conversation with your husband regarding the entire issue, if you feel up for it. Of course, the conversation could be tense, and may aggravate the hurt you are feeling. But there are certain questions only he can answer for you. It might just give you the insight you need to make your decision. If you do choose to have this conversation, try not to jump into an accusatory place. State your feelings firmly and try to hold out as much empathy for him as you can. That is the only way the conversation will stay on track and won’t make either person defensive.

    It is also crucial for you to have some boundaries in place to ensure your well-being and safety. Recognise what it is that you need most, and then ask for it. Whether it be space, or some time to think, or help and support from others. Consider therapy or counseling to help you navigate the jumble of thoughts and emotions you’re dealing with. Whether you have legal grounds to sue your husband for his actions largely depends on the laws in your jurisdiction and the specific circumstances of your situation. In many jurisdictions, infidelity itself is not typically grounds for a lawsuit, as it is considered a personal matter rather than a legal one.

    However, if your husband’s actions have resulted in financial harm to you or if there are legal implications related to child custody, support, or division of assets, you may have legal recourse. For example, if your husband’s infidelity and subsequent relationship with another woman lead to the dissolution of your marriage and financial losses, you may be able to pursue legal remedies such as divorce proceedings, spousal support, or a fair division of marital assets.

    It’s important to consult with a qualified attorney who specializes in family law in your area to discuss your specific circumstances and explore your legal options. They can provide personalized advice and guidance based on the laws applicable to your situation and help you understand your rights and potential courses of action.

    Lastly, do not deny your emotions. All of your emotions, whether it be grief, sadness, anger, envy or frustration, are perfectly valid. Try to hold space for these emotions and avoid suppressing them.

    FAQs

    1.⁠ ⁠Should I leave my husband after he had baby with other women?

    There is no one-size-fits-all answer to this. However, before you make that decision, there are a few things you should consider:
    1. Your feelings on the matter, whether you are able or willing to make this marriage work
    2. What would be the best course of action for you?
    3. The implications that staying or leaving could have on your child. Often, children end up sustaining more damage from a dysfunctional relationship with parents rather than separated parents. 
    4. Analyze your marital relationship. Is there a sufficient basis for you to build something upon, or even for the sake of repairing the relationship. If you choose to stay, what is it that you are staying for?
    5.Get some legal and financial consultation for how either decision would affect you. 
    6. Garner support from friends and family who you trust. Consider personal therapy as well.

    2.⁠ ⁠What should i do if my husband got another woman pregnant?

    It’s an incredibly challenging and emotionally taxing situation to be in. Here are the following things to consider:
    1. Take some time for yourself and give it some thought, trying to understand what you want to do. 
    2. Communicate with your husband openly and honestly to get clarity about his thought process as well. 
    3. Seek support from your loved ones and consider therapy or counseling. 
    4. Assess your options and try to get all the legal and financial information you need. Also assess the state of your marriage 5. and whether you think there is any possibility of recovery and repair. 
    6. Prioritize self care. 

    3.⁠ ⁠Can I trust my husband again after he cheated?

    Rebuilding a relationship after infidelity is possible, and there are couples who overcome it. However, whether it is possible for you or not, is something you get to decide for yourself. It takes a lot of work to rebuild the trust that is broken. 
    1. Consider if you are able to willing to work on this marriage and what are your reasons for doing so
    2. It will require your husband to take accountability and make a choice between you and the other person involved. 
    3. It will take a lot of open and honest communication between both of you, which can be exhausting, but will provide you the clarity you need. 
    4. Look at your feelings and your emotional experience to decide whether you want to trust him again. 

    Consider marriage or couples counseling to gain better clarity, establish healthy communication patterns and to help you realize what you want and need.

    Ask Our Expert

    [ad_2]

    Source link

  • 11 Critical Sexless Marriage Effects On Wife

    11 Critical Sexless Marriage Effects On Wife

    [ad_1]

    The renowned American comedian Chris Rock talked about the importance of sex in a marriage. In his Netflix Special Tambourine, he opines that as long as you keep having sex, the relationship will flourish. He rather candidly admits that his porn addiction led him to neglect his wife, eventually leading to a divorce. That was the perfect example of sexless marriage effects on wife. 

    While watching the special, I thought about conversations with my married girlfriends about their sex lives. To them, sex is so much more than fleeting moments of orgasmic pleasure. The simple act of two bodies coming together plays a big role in building an emotional connection. So, what happens when sex is no longer or barely on the menu, thus leading to a sexless marriage? 

    To answer the question of what is a sexless marriage and how it affects a woman, I spoke with sexologist Dr. Rajan Bhonsle (MD, MBBS Medicine and Surgery), who specializes in premarital counseling and has over three decades of experience as a sex therapist. 

    Sexless Marriage Effects On Wife — 11 Ways It Takes A Toll

    In understanding the sexless marriage effects on wife, it’s important to understand the role of sex in the relationship. Sex is one of the fundamental aspects of a happy marriage. It is the ultimate definition of physical and emotional intimacy in a healthy relationship. A healthy sex life is one of the signs that you have an emotional connection with your partner. Yet the running theme for some women is “my husband has no sexual desire for me”. They have to contend with a no-sex marriage.

    That leads to the question, what is a sexless marriage? The simplest definition is a marital union experiencing low or non-existent sexual activity. A BBC report shows that the number of millennials living in sexless marriages is on the increase. That’s interesting in itself as it would be easier to think that older couples would be the ones facing these challenges. Yet these demographics are reporting declines in sexual activities due to various reasons such as: ·

    • Coping with childcare
    • The reality of marriage    
    • Low libido
    • Consumption of pornography 
    • Retreat from sex with reports of lower sexual desire, etc
    For more expert-backed insights, please subscribe to our YouTube channel

    In understanding the emotive component of the impact of a sexless marriage on a wife, I asked Dr. Bhonsle whether men and women view it differently. This is what he had to say. “Of course, men and women view sex in a marriage in very different ways. Men and women differ in their bodies, hormones, thinking, and how they emote, feel, and approach sex. Women do attach more emotion to sex and that arises from the emotional closeness they have to a person.” 

    For a woman, the “my husband has no sexual desire” realization can be a debilitating blow to her self-esteem and sense of self. Sexless marriage effects on husband can be markedly different from sexless marriage effects on wife, as you will see:

    Related Reading: Retroactive Jealousy: Understanding The Causes, Triggers, And Coping Tips

    1. Emotional distress

    One of my girlfriends told me, “My husband loves me but not sexually, what should I do about the lack of physical intimacy?” It was obvious she was going through serious emotional distress from his lack of sexual attraction to her. The lack of physical and emotional intimacy made her feel unloved and undesired. It was difficult for her to deal with the sexual rejection from her partner.

    Ironically, in all other aspects, he is an exceptional husband and father. I could see the toll on her because she was always anxious, depressed, and suffered from low self-esteem.  Dr. Bhonsle agrees that sexless marriage effects on wife can be devastating. “Women desire physical intimacy as a way to express their feelings and love. The lack of sex can make her feel unloved or rejected.”

    A Reddit user shares her experience of being in a sexless marriage: “I started to feel like things were never going to improve. We’d have each other maybe 2-3x/year. I’m not a particularly high-libido person, but even that is desperately little for me. I completely stopped attempting to initiate because each rejection came with more defensiveness and just felt like a total gut punch. I felt ugly and unwanted. He’d make comments when I’d put on 2-5lbs. I stuffed down all sexual feelings, figuring that the rest of our relationship was good enough, maybe sex just wasn’t meant to be for me.”

    2. Strained relationship dynamics

    Lack of physical intimacy can put a strain on the marriage

    A common concern for many wives is, “My husband has no sexual desire and it is impacting our relationship.” With the lack of emotional intimacy and physical intimacy, my friend has to deal with hurt feelings due to the rejection she feels. That makes it hard to talk to her husband leading to a very strained situation in the house. Her husband treats any sex conversation as a taboo subject or an attack on his manhood. I can see them slowly but surely drifting apart with increased resentment between them.

    3. Lack of sex causes decreased relationship satisfaction

    The sexless marriage effects on a woman can negatively impact the relationship. Chris Rock says relationship issues won’t seem as bad as long as there is frequent sex in the marriage. That begs the question, how often do married couples have sex? With so many things going on in daily life, it’s hard to give a definitive answer. But there’s no doubt that an active sex life translates to higher relationship satisfaction for wives. 

    Related Reading: Solutions To 10 Relationship Problems After Having A Baby

    4. No-sex marriage hurts self-esteem

    “Do you think he finds me unattractive because of the weight I gained after giving birth?” How could I convince my friend that she was still as beautiful as ever? To see her self-esteem drain out of her had me feeling emotionally enraged and exhausted. She was displaying signs of low self-esteem. It was rather apparent that she attached a lot of her self-worth to her husband’s sexual desire for her. 

    5. Heightened vulnerability to infidelity

    Marriage and affairs tend to go hand in hand. To convince herself that she was still an attractive woman, my friend engaged in several meaningless sexual encounters. The lack of a healthy sex life with her partner, communication breakdown, unresolved conflicts, and a lack of emotional connection had her on the edge. For a few minutes, she was able to put aside her negative feelings and feel like a woman again. I found it hard to judge because I understood that living in a sexless marriage is one of the reasons why women cheat. 

    6. Impact on physical and mental health

    The dangers of sexless marriage can be very pervasive. Anxiety, depression, low self-esteem, loneliness, frustration, and unmet needs will take a toll on the woman’s mental health. The same applies to her physical health. Studies show that a lack of sexual activity can result in thyroid disorders, obesity, hypertension, fatigue, back problems, etc. 

    I am glad we were able to talk my friend into seeking professional help for herself. She first had to heal emotionally and deal with her negative feelings before suggesting couples therapy or seeing a sex therapist with her husband.

    Related Reading: 9 Sexless Relationship Effects No One Talks About

    7. Erosion of trust

    “My sexless marriage is killing me because I am losing trust in my husband. I know he has a high libido, so who is satisfying him right now,” asks my friend all the time. Her misgivings are on point since in many instances sexless marriage and affairs are familiar bedfellows. Yet it is possible to survive a sexless marriage without cheating, but no one says it is an easy task. 

    8. The sexless marriage effects on wife include decreased libido

    “I know my husband loves me but not sexually and it is impacting my libido,” says my friend, “I am afraid he has lost interest in me.” Despite her numerous sexual encounters, my friend admits that the risky liaisons are more about making her feel good about herself. She actually has no desire for sex but looks forward to the physical intimacy of the act. The lack of physical and emotional intimacy with her spouse has severely impacted her libido. Right now, she is seeing a sex counselor to hopefully turn around things. 

    9. Communication breakdown

    Many couples find it hard to discuss sexual intimacy or why it may be fading. The lack of physical intimacy further exacerbates the situation. The loss of trust and budding resentment will make it hard for the wife in the sexless marriage to communicate her true feelings. It’s important to learn the right mechanisms for how to cope with a sexless marriage, otherwise, the relationship can unravel quickly.

    Related Reading: Miserable Husband Syndrome – Top Signs And Tips To Cope

    10. Loneliness

    A sexless marriage causes a sense of loneliness since there is a breakdown in the physical, sexual, and emotional connection. Since her husband does not talk to her, my friend feels like she is alone in the marriage. That gives her immense anxiety and a sense of constant dejection. In such situations, it’s important to identify when to walk away from sexless marriage lest it leave one’s mental health in a shambles.

    11. Divorce

    My friend asked a lawyer, “Is a sexless marriage grounds for divorce?” She was surprised to learn that it is. Denying your partner sex without good reason amounts to cruelty in the marriage. When there is no possible resolution to the lack of sexual intimacy, divorce may become imminent for a lot of couples. If you also wonder, “My sexless marriage is killing me, what are my options?” or when to walk away from sexless marriage, you may already be at the end of your rope.  

    More on marriage problems

    Can A Woman Survive In A No-Sex Marriage?

    If you undertake a cursory internet search on how long do sexless marriages last, the statistics do not look very positive. As many as 50% or higher end up in divorce. Here are some interesting statistics.

    • At the end of the first year of marriage, sexual frequency reduces by nearly half
    • 1.7% and 1.3% of men and women respectively in a marriage do not have sex at all
    • 12% of women within the midlife range self-report low libido within the sexless marriage     
    • 33% of women above the age of 45 deal with stress due to their lack of sexual desire
    • After 4 years of marriage life, only 48% of women want to have sexual intimacy with their partners

    Despite the statistics, yes, a woman can survive in a no-sex marriage. True, you may not experience optimal well-being or happiness. But the trick is to learn how to survive a sexless marriage as a woman, which I will discuss next.

    Related Reading: 11 Easy And Effective Tips To Survive Heartbreak Without Breaking Yourself

    Before that, I want to touch upon another important question: how devastating is it for a woman if there is no sex in a marriage? Dr. Bhonsle says, “It depends on various factors. We are all differently constituted with different preferences. So, not all women will be devastated by sexual rejection or lack of sexual activity in the marriage. Some think and feel about love and sex differently. The same applies to their need for physical intimacy. A woman can be content with other expressions of intimacy like an emotional or warm connection. In such cases, surviving a sexless marriage isn’t hard.

    A Reddit user shares their experience to the question of how long do sexless marriages last compared to normal ones. “It’s everything until you either no longer have a marriage or just move past it. I stressed for about 5 years over my sh*tty sex life and this year I finally got it into my head that “this is life now.” Been feeling better since. Before the comments came in: divorce was never an option I would consider initiating, and neither is an open marriage/infidelity an option.”

    Related Reading: Sexless Marriage and Affairs: I’m Torn Between Pleasure and Guilt of Cheating

    Sexless marriage causes

    Why does intimacy fade in a relationship? According to Dr. Bhonsle and other experts, the reason are causes are numerous including,  

    • Lack of emotional connection or passion
    • Lingering hurt/Unresolved conflict resulting in lack of emotional intimacy
    • Sociological, spiritual, or religious ideals such as once you get children, sex should no longer be part of the marriage·        
    • Situational reasons such as lack of privacy
    • Inability to openly communicate about sex
    • Exhaustion     
    • Technology and gadgets intrude on the time couples could spend together
    • Physical incapability of engaging in the act such as injuries or chronic health conditions      
    • Aging
    • Boredom in the bedroom 

     It’s possible to find a solution to some of the sexless marriage causes. But what happens when the man treats the topic as a taboo subject? Dr. Bhonsle says “I would explore the reason for his refusal to address the topic. It could be biological, relational, spiritual, misunderstanding, or conflict. Also, a resolution is possible only if a person or couple is willing to get the necessary help to overcome the situation.”

    How To Deal With A Sexless Marriage As A Woman

    how to cope with a sexless marriage
    Honesty about the impact of lack of sex is critical to finding a resolution

    Learning how to deal with a sexless marriage as a woman is not easy. Remember, the marriage may not be loveless, just sexless. So, if you want happiness and fulfillment you need to learn how to survive a sexless marriage as a woman. Instead of merely surviving, how about learning how to deal with the lack of sex? And, if push comes to shove, know when to walk away from sexless marriage. 

    My friend was not ready to divorce, so she had to learn how to be happy in a sexless marriage. Some of the steps she took, after talking to a counselor, include the following:

    1. How to be happy in a sexless marriage: Honest sexual communication

    Even though her husband viewed talking about sex as a taboo subject, she stuck to her guns. It was important to her to voice her feelings and concerns about the lack of sexual intimacy with him.

    2. Surviving a sexless marriage as a woman requires self-care

    Self-care and self-love are key to learning how to survive a sexless marriage as a woman. After her mental and physical health took a beating, my friend learned to prioritize herself. She took up new hobbies, went on solo trips, and spent time finding herself once again. 

    3. Reframe expectations when dealing with a no-sex marriage

    “My husband loves me but not sexually, what should I do?” Well, look at the bigger picture of your marriage. Numerous aspects, other than engaging in frequent sexual activity, define a healthy relationship. My friend’s husband is a wonderful father and provider. She extended the grace of recognition of his efforts to break down some of the walls resentment was bringing up.

    Related Reading: Expert View – What Is Intimacy To A Man

    4. Explore other forms of intimacy

    “My husband does not want me sexually.” True, this can be a heart-breaking realization but that does not mean you cannot explore other forms of physical intimacy. Hold hands, cuddle, kiss or just gaze into each other’s eyes. Before you know it, the low libido could be a thing of the past.

    5. Work on recreating a healthy relationship

    Is lack of sex enough grounds for divorce? Yes, lack of sexual activity or being in sexless relationships can be grounds for divorce. But that should not be the first option. True, dealing with sexual rejection from your partner is tough. But, roll up your sleeves and work at regaining what brought the two of you together. Communication, respect, and trust in a relationship are key factors in the process.

     6. How to cope with a sexless marriage: Get professional help

    The best way to tackle the question of how to cope with a sexless marriage is by seeking professional help. My friend credits her therapist for regaining a lot of her happiness. She got to see that while an active sex life in a romantic relationship is important, it should not be the defining factor of relationship satisfaction.  

    I asked Dr. Bhonsle to respond to the issue of when to walk away from sexless marriage. Indeed, is a sexless marriage grounds for divorce? Or is there any hope for a sexless marriage? “I would never advise a woman to walk away from a marriage because of sex. Marriage is so much more than just sex. There’s love, care, and respect for each other, and there’s also the aspect of companionship. But sometimes for factors beyond their control, there is no sex in the marriage.

    “Even then, as an expert, I would never advise her to walk away. If she is feeling deprived of sex and he is denying it due to conflict, infidelity, vices, or physical incapability, there is a need to rectify the situation. This could be through seeking treatment for medical issues, therapy from a counselor, etc.”

    Related Reading: Men Share How They Feel When They Are The Only Ones Initiating Sex Every Time

    7. Seek understanding

    Don’t be quick to castigate your partner because of lack of sex. As Dr. Bhonsle says, there could be reasons for lack of sexual intimacy that are beyond your spouse’s control. With a better understanding, you can both work toward finding a solution to the lack of sexual intimacy.

    Key Pointers

      • How long sexless marriages last depends on whether you want to work on the issues or quit. Seeking professional help from a sex therapist or sex counselor can get you back on track once again to a healthy relationship
      • How to cope with a sexless marriage requires acceptance, self-love, seeking professional help like sex therapy, and looking for other forms of intimacy
      • Dangers of sexless marriage include infidelity, resentment, low self-esteem, depression, and anxiety
      • When to walk away from a sexless marriage? You should consider it only if you have exhausted all efforts to rectify the issues
      • Work on building emotional intimacy to bring the spark back to your life. Sex therapy and open sexual communication are also critical

    A sexless marriage could mean the total absence or lack of frequent sex. It is hard to know how to cope with a sexless marriage. The emotional impact on a wife living in a no sex marriage can be profound. It will affect your emotional well-being, healthy relationship dynamics, and overall satisfaction with life. However, there are ways to cope with and address these challenges.

    The answer to how to be happy in a sexless marriage lies in open sexual communication, seeking professional help, or considering alternative solutions. Finally, prioritize your happiness and fulfillment, and most importantly do not fall into the trap of sexless marriage and affairs. You already have your person, so work on making it work.

     Why Is Marriage So Hard? Reasons And Ways To Make It Worthwhile

    How To Deal With A Negative Spouse – 15 Expert-Backed Tips

    Husband Wife Relationship – 9 Expert Tips To Improve It

    Ask Our Expert

    [ad_2]

    Source link

  • Toxic marriage quiz: Am I In A Toxic Marriage?

    Toxic marriage quiz: Am I In A Toxic Marriage?

    [ad_1]

    Do you ever feel like you’re constantly trying to avoid your partner’s bad mood, walking on eggshells to keep the peace? Does “happily ever after” seem more like a distant dream than a shared reality? If you’re questioning the health of your marriage and wondering, “Is my marriage toxic?”, you’re not alone.

    This toxic partner test isn’t about blame or judgment. It’s a self-reflection tool designed by a licensed relationship counselor to help you identify red flags and unhealthy patterns in your marriage. Whether you’re experiencing subtle emotional abuse, struggling with communication breakdowns, or simply feeling unheard and disrespected, this quiz can help you.

    Remember, you deserve a healthy, supportive marriage. If you are experiencing any domestic violence, seek help immediately. Reach out to the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 for confidential support and resources.

    This quiz is not a substitute for professional marriage counseling. Rather, it is the first step in realizing whether you’re in an unhealthy marriage and need some external support. Among other things, counseling will help you build communication skills that will help you communicate how you’re feeling with your spouse

    Related Quiz: Can my marriage be saved quiz

    Related Quiz: Do I need marriage counselling? Quiz

    Questions

    1. Do you and your spouse share things with each other openly?
      1. Always/Often
      2. Sometimes
      3. Rarely/never
    2. Do you feel supported and understood by your spouse?
      1. Always/Often
      2. Sometimes
      3. Rarely/never
    3. Do either or both partners hold grudges about past fights?
      1. Always/Often
      2. Sometimes
      3. Rarely/never
    4. Is it easy to talk to your spouse?
      1. Always/Often
      2. Sometimes
      3. Rarely/never
    5. Are the two of you respectful of each other?
      1. Always/Often
      2. Sometimes
      3. Rarely/never
    6. Does your spouse blame you unfairly?
      1. Always/Often
      2. Sometimes
      3. Rarely/never
    7. Does your spouse try to take control of your finances?
      1. Always/Often
      2. Sometimes
      3. Rarely/never
    8. Do you feel that your spouse favours their family over you?
      1. Always/Often
      2. Sometimes
      3. Rarely/never
    9. Has your partner seemed uninterested in you recently?
      1. Always/Often
      2. Sometimes
      3. Rarely/never
    10. Have you been thinking of leaving the marriage a lot more recently?
      1. Always/Often
      2. Sometimes
      3. Rarely/never
    11. Is your spouse physically abusive, or threatens physical abuse?
      1. Always/Often
      2. Sometimes
      3. Rarely/never
    12. Do you have doubts about your spouse cheating on you?
      1. Always/Often
      2. Sometimes
      3. Rarely/never
    13. Do you feel too exhausted to resolve conflicts in your marriage?
      1. Always/Often
      2. Sometimes
      3. Rarely/never

    Ask Our Expert

    [ad_2]

    Source link

  • Can My Marriage Be Saved Quiz

    Can My Marriage Be Saved Quiz

    [ad_1]

    Welcome to the “Can My Marriage Be Saved Quiz,” a thoughtful exploration designed for individuals like you who find themselves at a crossroads in their relationship. Authored by Dhriti Bhavsar, a seasoned professional with a master’s degree in psychology specializing in counseling, this quiz aims to provide valuable insights for those experiencing difficulties in their marriage.

    Are you feeling that your marriage is dying, or perhaps you’re uncertain about the path it’s currently on? This quiz is for individuals like you—those ready to work on their relationship, open to trying different things, and looking to bring back life into what might seem like a fading connection. It can also help you figure out if your marriage might be coming to an end.

    [ad_2]

    Source link