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Tag: Emmanuel Abimbola

  • The Role of Fathers in Christian Parenting

    The Role of Fathers in Christian Parenting

    Despite life’s challenges and unknowns, I’m convinced that being a father is about being present, involved, and being the father God has called me to be.

    The role of fathers in Christian parenting is multifaceted and profound. It’s a calling that requires strength and tenderness, wisdom and humility, and above all, an unwavering commitment to following Christ’s example. 

    1. The Spiritual Leader Guiding with Grace and Wisdom

    When it comes to being a spiritual leader in the family, I’ll be the first to admit that it can feel like trying to navigate a ship through stormy waters—blindfolded. But here’s the thing: God doesn’t call the qualified; He qualifies the called. And boy, does He have a sense of humor about it!

    I remember the first time I attempted to lead a family devotional. I had it all planned out—we’d read a Bible passage, discuss its meaning, and end with a beautiful prayer. Reality? My toddler was more interested in eating the Bible than reading it.

    But you know what? We kept at it. Slowly but surely, those awkward family devotionals have become cherished moments of connection and growth. As fathers, we’re called to be the spiritual leaders of our households, guiding our families in the ways of the Lord. It’s a responsibility that can be overwhelming for us at times, but it’s also an incredible privilege.

    The Bible gives us clear direction on this. Ephesians 6:4 says, “And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath, but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.” This verse reminds us that our role isn’t to be dictators but nurturers of our children’s faith. We’re called to create an environment where our kids can experience God’s love and grow their understanding of Him.

    Being a spiritual leader doesn’t mean we have all the answers. Some of the most powerful moments in my journey as a Christian father have been when I’ve admitted to my child that I don’t know everything, but I know the One who does. It’s about pointing our families towards Christ, even, and especially, when we feel inadequate.

    2. The Protector Shielding with Love and Discipline

    When I think about being a protector as a Christian father, I remember a time I tried to assemble a backyard playset for my kids. Armed with a set of instructions that might as well have been written in ancient Aramaic, surrounded by pieces of wood and hardware, I was determined to create a haven for my children to play. Six hours, three bandages, and one near-nervous breakdown later, I stood back to admire my handiwork—a structure that looked less like a playset and more like an abstract art installation.

    But you know what? My kids loved it. Not because it was perfect, but because they knew I had poured my heart and a good portion of my sanity into creating something to keep them safe and happy. And isn’t that what being a protector is all about?

    As Christian fathers, we’re called to protect our families not just physically but emotionally and spiritually. It’s a role that goes far beyond assembling playsets or checking for monsters under the bed (though those are important too!). We’re tasked with creating a safe environment where our children can grow, learn, and develop their faith.

    The Bible speaks to this role in beautiful ways. Psalm 127:3-5 reminds us that our children are precious gifts from God, and it’s our job to protect and guide them like a skilled archer aiming his arrows.

    But here’s the thing about being a protector—it’s not just about shielding our kids from harm. It’s about equipping them to face the world with confidence and faith. It’s about teaching them discernment, helping them understand right from wrong, and showing them how to stand firm in their beliefs even when the world pushes back.

    I’ve learned that sometimes the best way to protect my children is to let them face challenges, standing nearby ready to catch them if they fall, but allowing them the freedom to grow and learn. It’s a delicate balance, much like trying to walk across a room covered in Lego bricks—it requires careful navigation and a willingness to endure a little pain for the greater good.

    3. The Provider 

    When it comes to being a provider, as a Christian father, I’ve found that it’s like trying to juggle flaming torches while riding a unicycle—it requires balance, skill, and a healthy dose of faith. And just like that circus act, there’s always the risk of getting burned or falling flat on your face.

    As Christian fathers, we’re called to be providers, but this role encompasses so much more than just bringing home a paycheck. Yes, meeting our family’s material needs is important. But here’s the thing: providing isn’t just about money and material possessions. It includes nourishing our children’s souls, feeding their minds with wisdom, and cultivating an environment where they can grow in faith and character. It’s about providing them a living example of what it means to follow Christ.

    I’ve learned (often the hard way) that true provision is about balance. It’s about working hard to meet our family’s needs while also making time for the things that truly matter—family dinners, bedtime stories, impromptu dance parties in the living room, and heart-to-heart talks about life and faith.

    Sometimes, being a provider means making sacrifices. Maybe it’s turning down a promotion that would mean less time with family or choosing a simpler lifestyle so we can invest more in our children’s spiritual growth. These decisions aren’t always easy, but they’re part of the sacred duty we have as Christian fathers.

    4. The Teacher

    I once tried to explain the concept of the Trinity to my 5-year-old. I thought I had it all figured out—I’d use the classic analogy of water existing as liquid, ice, and steam. Clever, right? Well, for the next week, he told everyone that God was like a popsicle that could melt and turn into a cloud—not exactly orthodox theology, but points to creativity, right?

    This experience taught me an important lesson about being a teacher to my children: it’s not about having all the answers but encouraging an environment of curiosity, learning, and growth. As Christian fathers, we’re called to be the primary educators of our children, especially when it comes to matters of faith and character.

    Deuteronomy 6:6-7 instructs us, “And these words, which I command thee this day, shall be in thine heart: And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up.” This passage reminds us that teaching our children about God should be an ongoing, everyday process, deeply incorporated into our daily lives.

    As fathers, we’re required to teach with our words and actions. Our kids are watching us, learning from how we handle stress, how we treat others, and how we prioritize our time. It’s a sobering thought. But it’s also an incredible opportunity to model what it means to live out our faith.

    5. The Nurturer

    Being a Christian father is not just about providing food, shelter, and discipline. It’s about creating an environment of love, understanding, and emotional intelligence. It’s about being the safe harbor our children can always return to, no matter how stormy life gets.

    The Bible gives us a beautiful picture of God’s nurturing love in Psalm 103:13: “Like as a father pitieth his children, so the Lord pitieth them that fear him.” This reminds us that our role as nurturers is a reflection of God’s own heart towards His children. We’re called to show compassion, comfort, encouragement, and love unconditionally.

    But being a nurturer doesn’t always come naturally, especially for those who grew up in homes where emotions weren’t freely expressed. We must learn how to create an emotionally safe space for our children. This can be achieved by being okay with tears, not shying away from difficult conversations, and showing our kids that it’s alright to be vulnerable.

    As Christian fathers, we have the incredible opportunity to model emotional intelligence for our children. This means being in touch with our own emotions, expressing them in healthy ways, and teaching our kids to do the same. It’s about showing them that real strength isn’t about suppressing feelings but about understanding and managing them.

    Nurturing also involves celebrating our children’s unique qualities and helping them develop their God-given talents. It also requires seeing the potential in them, even when they can’t see it themselves.

    As we wrap up, we must remember that this journey of fatherhood is as much about our growth as it is about our children’s. Each bedtime story read and each heart-to-heart conversation shapes us into the men God has called us to be.

    The path of Christian fatherhood is not always easy, but it is infinitely rewarding. It’s a journey filled with laughter and tears, triumphs and challenges, moments of great wisdom, and moments of utter cluelessness. But through it all, we have the help and guidance of our Lord Jesus and the wisdom of the Holy Spirit.

    Photo Credit: ©GettyImages/max-kegfire

    Emmanuel Abimbola is a creative freelance writer, blogger, and web designer. He is a devout Christian with an uncompromising faith who hails from Ondo State in Nigeria, West Africa. As a lover of kids, Emmanuel runs a small elementary school in Arigidi, Nigeria.

    Emmanuel Abimbola

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  • The Power of Honest Conversations

    The Power of Honest Conversations

    Have you ever felt like you’re living in a world of surface-level small talk and polite nods, yearning for something more substantial? Well, my fellow believers, I’m here to tell you that it’s time to dive deeper into the refreshing waters of honest conversations. As Christians, we’re called to a life of authenticity and genuine connection, not just with God but with each other. But let’s face it, opening up can be scarier than facing Goliath with nothing but a slingshot and a prayer!

    I remember the first time I opened up to my small group at church about a problem I had. My palms were sweating, my heart was racing, and I was sure I’d rather be swallowed by a whale like Jonah than share my struggles. But you know what? Once I took that leap of faith, it was like a dam broke. The flood of empathy, understanding, and support was overwhelming in the best possible way.

    That’s the power of honest conversations, folks. They can break down walls, build bridges, and create bonds stronger than whatever glue Noah used to keep that ark together. (Okay, maybe not, but you get the idea!)

    Breaking the Ice: Overcoming the Fear of Vulnerability

    Let’s be real: being vulnerable is about as comfortable as wearing a hairshirt in the middle of summer. It’s itchy and uncomfortable, and you’d rather be anywhere else. But here’s the thing: vulnerability is the key that unlocks the door to deeper connections.

    The Bible is full of examples of vulnerability. Look at David—this guy poured his heart out in the Psalms, sharing everything from his highest praises to his deepest despair. In Psalm 38:9, he writes, “Lord, all my desire is before thee; and my groaning is not hidden from thee.” Talk about laying it all out there!

    So how do we overcome this fear of vulnerability? First, remember that everyone—yes, even that person who seems to have it all together—has struggles. Second, start small. You don’t have to share your deepest, darkest secret. Maybe begin by admitting you’re having a tough week or struggling to understand a Bible passage.

    And here’s a little trick I’ve learned: sometimes, being the first to open up can create a domino effect of honesty. It’s like you’re permitting others to be real too. So go ahead and be the brave one. Take that first step. Who knows? You might start a revolution of realness in your church community!

    Remember, vulnerability isn’t weakness; it’s courage in action. It’s saying, “Here I am, imperfect and struggling, but willing to connect.” And that, my friends, is where the magic happens.

    Creating Safe Spaces: Fostering an Environment of Trust

    Imagine you’re at a church potluck and someone brings a mysterious casserole. You’re unsure what’s in it but know you’re expected to try it. That’s what it feels like to open up in a group that doesn’t feel safe. You’re hesitant, unsure, and a little scared of what might happen if you take a bite.

    Creating a safe space for honest conversations is like setting the table for a feast of authenticity. It’s about cultivating an environment where people feel as comfortable sharing their hearts as they do sharing that questionable casserole. (Though maybe with less indigestion afterward!)

    In the Bible, we see Jesus creating safe spaces all the time. Remember the woman at the well in John 4? Jesus met her where she was, engaged in honest dialogue, and created a space where she felt safe enough to share her story. That’s our model, folks!

    So how do we create these safe spaces in our Christian communities? First, it starts with us. We need to be the kind of listeners who respond with grace, not judgment. James 1:19 puts it beautifully: “Wherefore, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath.”

    Second, we need to establish ground rules for our conversations. Confidentiality is key; what’s shared stays in the group. Unless, of course, someone confesses to hiding the pastor’s car keys as a prank. (Then all bets are off!)

    Third, we need to lead by example. Share your struggles and imperfections. When leaders are willing to be vulnerable, it sets the tone for everyone else. It’s like spiritual skydiving: when the leader jumps first, others feel safer to follow.

    Creating safe spaces isn’t always easy. It requires intentionality, patience, and a whole lot of grace. But when we get it right, it’s like we’re creating little pockets of heaven right here on Earth—places where people can come as they are, brokenness and all, and find acceptance, love, and healing.

    So, let’s commit to being safe space creators. Who knows? The next time someone brings that mysterious casserole to the potluck, they might feel comfortable enough to admit it’s their first time cooking!

    The Art of Listening: Hearing Beyond the Words

    You know that feeling when you’re trying to tell your spouse something important and they’re nodding along while scrolling through their phone? Yeah, it’s not exactly the pinnacle of communication. Well, it’s time we talk about the lost art of truly listening—and I mean listening, not just waiting for your turn to speak.

    In our fast-paced, tweet-sized world, we’ve become masters of the quick response, the witty comeback, and the surface-level chat. But, when it comes to honest conversations, we need to channel our inner Sherlock Holmes. We need to listen not just to the words being said but also to the emotions behind them—the unspoken fears, the hidden hopes.

    The Bible has a lot to say about listening. Proverbs 18:13 warns us, “He that answereth a matter before he heareth it, it is folly and shame unto him.” In other words, zip it and listen up before you start dishing out advice!

    So how do we become better listeners? First, put away distractions. That means your phone, your to-do list, and yes, even that nagging thought about what you’re going to make for dinner. Give the person your full attention. It’s amazing how valued someone feels when you look them in the eye and focus on what they’re saying.

    Second, practice active listening. This means asking clarifying questions, reflecting on what you’ve heard, and checking your understanding. It’s like playing verbal ping-pong but with empathy instead of paddles.

    Third, listen with your heart, not just your ears. Try to put yourself in the other person’s shoes. What might they be feeling? What’s the deeper need behind their words? Jesus was a master at this. He didn’t only hear the words people said; he understood their hearts.

    Becoming a good listener takes practice. It might initially feel awkward like you’re wearing someone else’s shoes. But stick with it. The more you practice, the more natural it becomes. And who knows? You might discover that by becoming a better listener, you become a better friend, spouse, parent, and follower of Christ.

    So the next time someone starts sharing with you, resist the urge to formulate your response while they’re still talking. Instead, lean in, open your heart, and listen. You might be surprised at what you hear when you listen not just with your ears but with your soul.

    From Words to Action: Living Out Our Honest Conversations

    Honest conversations aren’t just about clearing the air or having a good cry together (although those things can be pretty cathartic). They’re about spurring each other on towards love and good deeds, as Hebrews 10:24 encourages us to do. They’re about becoming the hands and feet of Jesus for each other and the world around us.

    James 2:17 reminds us that “Faith without works is dead.” The same is true for our conversations. If we bare our souls to each other but don’t follow through with support, encouragement, and practical help, we’re missing the point.

    So how do we have honest conversations? First, we need to be willing to get our hands dirty. If someone shares a struggle, don’t just say, “I’ll pray for you” (although prayer is important!). Ask them, “How can I help?” Maybe it’s providing a meal, childcare, or just checking in regularly.

    Second, we need to hold each other accountable—with love and grace, of course. If someone shares a goal or a commitment to change, offer to be their accountability partner. It’s like having a spiritual workout buddy—you’re there to encourage, support, and occasionally give a loving kick in the pants when needed.

    Third, we need to celebrate victories together, no matter how small. Did someone resist temptation? Awesome! Did they finally forgive that person they’ve been holding a grudge against? Break out the sparkling grape juice! (We are in church, after all.)

    I’ve seen firsthand how powerful this can be. In our young couples’ group, one pair shared about their financial struggles. Instead of just sympathizing, the group organized a budgeting workshop, shared money-saving tips, and even helped them find side gigs to increase their income. A year later, that couple was debt-free and teaching others about financial stewardship.

    Living out our honest conversations isn’t always easy. It requires commitment, sacrifice, and sometimes stepping out of our comfort zones. But when we do, we create a community that doesn’t just talk about love; it shows it in tangible, life-changing ways.

    So let’s not just be hearers of each other’s words but doers. Let’s create a ripple effect from the action that starts in our church and spreads into our communities. After all, isn’t that what being the Body of Christ is all about?

    Remember, authenticity is the heartbeat of a true Christian community. It’s in our vulnerability that we find strength, in our listening that we show love, and in our actions that we demonstrate faith. So let’s commit to deeper connections, starting today. 

    Photo Credit: ©GettyImages/MangoStar_Studio

    Emmanuel Abimbola is a creative freelance writer, blogger, and web designer. He is a devout Christian with an uncompromising faith who hails from Ondo State in Nigeria, West Africa. As a lover of kids, Emmanuel runs a small elementary school in Arigidi, Nigeria.

    Emmanuel Abimbola

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  • Extending Grace to the Unlovable Ones

    Extending Grace to the Unlovable Ones

    Imagine you’re at a family gathering and there’s that one relative who always seems to push your buttons. They’re negative and judgmental and seem to thrive on creating drama. As you feel your blood pressure rise, you can’t help but wonder—how on earth are you supposed to love someone like that?

    We’ve all been there, haven’t we? We are faced with people who test our patience, challenge our kindness, and make us question our capacity for love. As Christians, we’re called to love everyone, even those who seem unlovable. But let’s be honest—it’s not always easy.

    Understanding God’s Unconditional Love

    When we talk about loving the unlovable, we’re talking about mirroring God’s love for us. It’s a love that’s unconditional, unwavering, and often incomprehensible to our human minds. Think about it: God loves us not because we’re perfect, not because we’ve earned it, but simply because He chooses to.

    The Apostle Paul puts it beautifully in Romans 5:8, “But God demonstrates his love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” Let that sink in for a moment. God’s love for us isn’t dependent on our behavior or worthiness. It’s a love that reaches us even when we’re at our worst.

    This divine love sets the standard for how we’re called to love others. It’s a high bar. But here’s the thing: we’re not expected to manufacture this love. Instead, we’re invited to tap into the endless well of God’s love, allowing it to flow through us to others.

    Consider the most difficult person in your life right now. How might your perspective shift if you viewed them through the lens of God’s unconditional love? What if you saw them not as an annoyance or a burden but as someone deeply loved by their Creator?

    It’s a paradigm shift that doesn’t happen overnight. It requires intentionality, practice, and a whole lot of grace – both for others and ourselves. But as we grow in our understanding of God’s love for us, we become better equipped to extend that love to others, even when it’s challenging.

    The Mirror Effect: Recognizing Our Flaws

    Here’s a truth that might sting a little: often, the traits that irritate us most in others are the very ones we struggle with ourselves. It’s like looking into a mirror and seeing our flaws reflected in us. Uncomfortable? Absolutely. But it’s also an opportunity for profound growth and self-reflection.

    Jesus addresses this concept in Matthew 7:3-5, saying, “Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your eye? How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.”

    This passage isn’t about shaming us. Instead, it’s an invitation to honest self-examination. When irritated by someone’s behavior, it can be enlightening to ask ourselves, “Have I ever acted similarly? Do I sometimes display this trait that I find annoying in others?”

    For example, maybe you have a coworker who constantly complains about everything. It drives you up the wall. But if you’re honest with yourself, you might realize you’ve been pretty negative lately too. Maybe not to the same extent, but the seed of that behavior is there.

    Recognizing our flaws doesn’t excuse bad behavior in others. But it does foster empathy and compassion. It reminds us that we’re all works in progress and all in need of grace. And when we extend grace to others, we create space for our growth and healing.

    So the next time you find yourself frustrated with someone’s behavior, try turning that frustration into a mirror. What might it be revealing about your own heart? How can you use this insight to grow in empathy and self-awareness?

    The Power of Empathy: Walking in Their Shoes

    Empathy is the ability to put ourselves in someone else’s shoes and try to understand their perspective, even when we don’t feel like it. And let me tell you, it can be transformative.

    Think about Jesus for a moment. He was the embodiment of empathy. He didn’t just preach from a distance; he got down in the trenches with people. He ate with tax collectors and sinners, touched lepers, and spoke compassionately to those society had rejected. He understood people’s pain, their struggles, and their hopes.

    In Hebrews 4:15, we’re reminded that Jesus can “empathize with our weaknesses” because He has faced the same temptations. That’s powerful stuff. It means that when we’re struggling, we have a Savior who gets and understands it too.

    So how do we cultivate this kind of empathy for the difficult people in our lives? It starts with curiosity. Instead of immediately judging or dismissing someone’s behavior, we can ask ourselves: “What might be going on beneath the surface? What experiences or pain might be driving this person’s actions?”

    Maybe that grumpy neighbor has been battling a chronic illness. Perhaps that critical family member grew up in a household where nothing was ever good enough. The rude customer service rep might be dealing with a personal crisis we know nothing about.

    This doesn’t mean we excuse hurtful behavior. But understanding the potential ‘why’ behind someone’s actions can soften our hearts and help us respond with grace rather than frustration.

    Practicing empathy also involves active listening. It means setting aside our agenda and hearing what the other person is saying—and what they’re not saying. It means being present, showing genuine interest, and responding with compassion.

    Remember, empathy isn’t about fixing people or their problems. It’s about creating a safe space where people feel seen, heard, and valued. And often, that’s exactly what the ‘difficult’ people in our lives need most.

    The Art of Boundaries: Loving Without Enabling

    Now, here’s where things get a bit tricky. Loving the unlovable doesn’t mean becoming a doormat or enabling harmful behavior. Sometimes the most loving thing we can do is set clear, firm boundaries.

    Jesus, our ultimate example of love, wasn’t afraid to set boundaries. He often withdrew from crowds to pray and rest (Luke 5:16). He confronted the Pharisees when their actions were harmful (Matthew 23). He even told His disciples to shake the dust off their feet and move on when their message wasn’t received (Matthew 10:14).

    Boundaries are not walls that shut people out. They’re more like fences with gates—they protect what’s important while allowing for connection. They define what’s okay and what’s not in our relationships. And when implemented with love and respect, they can strengthen our ability to love difficult people.

    So what might this look like in practice? It could mean limiting the time you spend with a toxic relative. It might involve communicating your expectations to a friend who consistently cancels plans at the last minute. Or it could mean removing yourself from a situation where someone is being verbally abusive.

    The key is to set boundaries with love, not anger or resentment. It’s about saying, “I care about you, AND I also need to take care of myself.” It’s about valuing the relationship while also valuing your well-being.

    Setting boundaries can initially feel uncomfortable, especially if you’re not used to it. But remember, it’s not unloving to have limits. Healthy boundaries can create the safe space needed for real love and growth to flourish.

    And here’s a beautiful thing: as we learn to set healthy boundaries, we often find that our capacity to love difficult people increases. We’re no longer drained by toxic interactions, so we have more energy to extend grace and compassion.

    Cultivating Love Through Spiritual Disciplines

    Loving the unlovable isn’t a one-time decision – it’s a journey of growth. And like any journey, it requires preparation, practice, and perseverance. This is where spiritual disciplines come into play. These practices help us cultivate a heart open to loving difficult people.

    Prayer is a powerful tool in this journey. It’s not just about asking God to change the difficult person (although that’s okay too!). It’s about asking God to change our hearts. To help us see others as He sees them. To fill us with His love so we can pour it out to others.

    In Matthew 5:44, Jesus gives us a challenging command: “But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.” Praying for difficult people can be transformative. It’s hard to hold onto resentment when you’re consistently lifting someone up in prayer.

    Another helpful practice is meditation on Scripture. Dwelling on passages about God’s love and forgiveness can reshape our thinking and soften our hearts. Verses like Ephesians 4:32 – “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you” – can become powerful mantras in our interactions with difficult people.

    Fasting can also play a role in this journey. When we fast, we’re reminded of our dependence on God and our limitations. This humility can make us more open to extending grace to others.

    Practicing gratitude is another powerful discipline. When we focus on the blessings in our lives, including the growth opportunities that difficult relationships provide, our perspective shifts. We become more aware of God’s grace in our own lives, making it easier to extend that grace to others.

    Remember, these spiritual disciplines aren’t about earning God’s love or becoming “good enough” to love difficult people. They’re about positioning ourselves to receive and reflect God’s love more fully.

    As we engage in these practices, we’ll likely find that loving the unlovable becomes less of a struggle and more of a natural outflow of our relationship with God. It’s a gradual process with plenty of ups and downs along the way. But each step forward is a victory worth celebrating.

    I love the unlovable, challenging path, no doubt about it. It’s a challenge that goes against our instincts. It requires intentionality, perseverance, and a whole lot of grace—both for others and for ourselves.

    But here’s the beautiful thing: as we step out in faith to love those who are hard to love, we open ourselves up to profound transformation. We begin to see others—and ourselves—through God’s eyes. We grow in empathy, compassion, and emotional maturity. We become living testimonies to the power of God’s love.

    And who knows? Our act of extending grace might be the very thing that sparks change in a difficult person. Romans 12:20 reminds us, “If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head.” This isn’t about revenge but about the transformative power of unexpected kindness.

    So, the next time you’re faced with that button-pushing relative, that irritating coworker, or that challenging neighbor, remember—this is your opportunity to reflect God’s love deeply. It won’t be easy, but it will be worth it. Because in the end, love never fails (1 Corinthians 13:8).

    Let’s commit to being people who love extravagantly, who extend grace generously, and who see the image of God even in the most difficult individuals. In doing so, we not only change our relationships—we change the world, one act of love at a time.

    Photo Credit: ©iStock/Getty Images Plus/imtmphoto

    Emmanuel Abimbola is a creative freelance writer, blogger, and web designer. He is a devout Christian with an uncompromising faith who hails from Ondo State in Nigeria, West Africa. As a lover of kids, Emmanuel runs a small elementary school in Arigidi, Nigeria.

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  • Dealing with Loneliness After Losing Your Spouse

    Dealing with Loneliness After Losing Your Spouse

    When you lose a spouse, it’s like losing a part of yourself. Your partner was the person you shared everything with—your joys, fears, and daily routines. The absence of that emotional support can feel like a gaping hole in your heart. Those quiet moments, like sharing a morning coffee or discussing your day before bed, become stark reminders of your loss.

    You might find yourself talking to their photograph or memory, yearning for those intimate conversations. It’s perfectly natural to miss those small yet significant interactions. Psalm 34:18 says, “The Lord is near unto them that are of a broken heart, and saveth such as be of a contrite spirit.” This verse reassures us that even in our deepest sorrow, God is close and offering us comfort and understanding.

    Social loneliness is another layer to this grief. Activities that once brought you joy now highlight your solitude. Fun and basic activities such as going to church, attending family gatherings, or participating in social events can be painful because your spouse is no longer by your side. And no matter how you try to mask it when you’re in public, the sight of couples or families can intensify your feelings of isolation.

    So, it’s important to recognize these feelings and permit yourself to grieve. Surround yourself with supportive friends and family who understand your loss. Remember, Galatians 6:2 says, “Bear ye one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.” Sharing your feelings with others can lighten the heavy load of loneliness.

    Losing a spouse can even impact your spiritual life. You might find yourself questioning God or struggling to feel His presence. This spiritual loneliness can make you feel spiritually disconnected.

    In these moments of doubt, it’s helpful to remember that questioning and seeking understanding are part of the journey. The Scripture says in Proverbs 3:5, “Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.” It’s okay to struggle and seek answers, but keep trusting that God has a purpose, even when it’s hard to see.

    Finding Comfort and Hope 

    When dealing with loneliness after losing a spouse, it is important to be kind to yourself and allow yourself to feel and process your emotions. Seek support from friends, family, and your faith community. Remember that God is always with you, even in your darkest hours.

    As you navigate this challenging time, lean on the words of the Bible for comfort and strength. Cling to God’s promise in Matthew 5:4, “Blessed are they that mourn: for they shall be comforted.” This promise reminds us that comfort and peace will come, even during our deepest sorrow.

    Dealing with the loss of a spouse is incredibly tough, and finding solace in faith can be a powerful way to navigate this challenging time. 

    Here are some thoughtful ways to get through this feeling:

    1. Lean on Your Faith and Trust in God

    Losing a spouse can shake you to your core, making it hard to see beyond the pain. But remember, Psalm 34:18 says, “The Lord is near unto them that are of a broken heart, and saveth such as be of a contrite spirit.” Trusting that God has a plan, even when it’s hard to understand, can bring comfort. Spend time in prayer and read your Bible regularly. Let His words be a lamp for your feet during these dark times.

    2. Connect with Your Church Community 

    Isolation can make loneliness worse, but God doesn’t want you to go through this alone. Remember, the church is not only a place to worship but also a family because we believers have been tasked with this duty and responsibility in Galatians 6:2: “Bear ye one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.” Therefore, in your time of grief, do not hesitate to reach out to fellow believers, join small Christly groups, and engage in church activities. Having a circle of encouraging friends around you can uplift your mood and be a constant reminder that you are not alone. 

    3. Embrace New Routines and Hobbies

    After losing your spouse, your daily life changes drastically. It’s now important that you find new routines and interests to fill the void. The Bible says in Ecclesiastes 3:1, “To everything, there is a season and a time to every purpose under the heaven.” So, whether it’s volunteering, gardening, painting, or any other hobby, endeavor to find joy in new activities, as doing so will help ease your feeling of loneliness. These activities can also be a way to honor your spouse’s memory by doing something they loved or that you both enjoyed together.

    4. Seek Professional and Pastoral Support

    Grief can be overwhelming in a time like this, and sometimes, talking to a professional counselor or your pastor can be incredibly beneficial. That is why Proverbs 11:14 says, “Where no counsel is, the people fall, but in the multitude of counselors there is safety.” A Christian therapist can provide you with the necessary tools to help you cope with your grief while keeping your faith at the center of your healing process. Also, pastors can offer spiritual guidance, pray with you, and help you find peace in God’s promises.

    5. Reflect on Happy Memories

    I understand that losing someone you love deeply is incredibly hard, and at first, it might seem unbearable to even think about the good times you had. But here’s the thing: reflecting on those happy memories can bring a sense of peace and comfort. Take some time to create a memory book filled with photos, letters, and little keepsakes that remind you of the wonderful moments you shared. 

    Maybe it’s that favorite vacation, a special anniversary, or just those simple, everyday moments that made your life together so rich. Looking through this memory book can be like having a warm conversation with your spouse, keeping their spirit alive in your heart. Doing this is a way to celebrate the love you had, which remains a beautiful part of who you are.

    6. Take Care of Your Physical Health

    Grief doesn’t just affect your heart and mind—it can really impact your body too. That’s why you must strive to take good care of yourself physically, no matter how you feel. The best approach is to start small, like going for a daily walk. Fresh air and a bit of movement can do wonders for lifting your mood and giving you a bit more energy. 

    Also, eat nutritious meals and make sure you get enough rest too. When you’re eating well and sleeping enough, you’re giving your body the tools it needs to stay strong. And when your body feels stronger, it can help you feel more capable of handling all the emotional ups and downs that come with grief.

    7. Allow Yourself to Grieve

    Grief is a personal journey, and there’s no right or wrong way to go through it. It’s important to allow yourself to feel everything you’re feeling. Maybe some days you’re sad; other days you might feel angry; and sometimes you might even feel a sense of relief. All these emotions are normal, and it’s okay to feel them. 

    Under no circumstances should you judge yourself for having a tough day; it’s all part of the healing process. So, be gentle with yourself and understand that it’s perfectly okay to have days when you don’t feel strong. You must understand that healing is a journey, and it takes time. Allow yourself that time, and know that it’s okay to lean on others for support when you need it.

    One of the most significant losses a person may go through is losing a spouse, and the loneliness that follows can be unbearable. But keep in mind that you are not traveling alone. 

    Important stages towards healing include relying on your faith, being involved in your church community, establishing new habits, asking for help, thinking back on pleasant memories, taking care of your physical health, and allowing yourself to grieve.

    Hold on to the comforting promise from the Bible in Isaiah 41:10 that says, “Fear thou not; for I am with thee; be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness.” God is with you every step of the way, offering strength and comfort. Be kind to yourself, take each day as it comes, and ask for help when you need it.

    Photo Credit: ©Getty Images/Marjan Apostolovic

    Emmanuel Abimbola is a creative freelance writer, blogger, and web designer. He is a devout Christian with an uncompromising faith who hails from Ondo State in Nigeria, West Africa. As a lover of kids, Emmanuel runs a small elementary school in Arigidi, Nigeria.

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  • Building a Healthy Coparenting Relationship

    Building a Healthy Coparenting Relationship

    Co-parenting is like a tag-team match where you and your co-parent are both in the ring, fighting for the well-being and upbringing of your kids. It’s crucial, especially when you’re aiming to raise children who are not only responsible but also rooted in faith. 

    In Proverbs 22:6, it says, “Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.” That’s the essence of co-parenting in a Christian context. You’re not just teaching them math and manners; you’re instilling values and faith that will guide them throughout their lives.

    Think about it this way: if you’re trying to build a sturdy house, you need a solid foundation. Similarly, if you want your children to grow up with strong morals and a deep faith, you need a solid co-parenting relationship.

    Challenges of Co-parenting

    Co-parenting isn’t always a walk in the park, especially if you’re navigating the waters of divorce or separation. It’s like trying to paddle a canoe in choppy waters; there are bound to be some bumps along the way.

    Communication is key, but it can be tough when there are hurt feelings or unresolved issues lingering between you and your ex. And let’s not forget about scheduling conflicts—juggling soccer practice, piano lessons, and dentist appointments can feel like trying to solve a Rubik’s cube in the dark!

    Then there’s the emotional toll. Seeing your children split their time between two homes can tug at your heartstrings like a sad country song. And explaining the situation to your kids? That’s a whole other ballgame. It’s like trying to explain quantum physics to a toddler—challenging, to say the least.

    But hey, it’s not all doom and gloom. With patience, understanding, and a whole lot of prayer, you can overcome these challenges and build a healthy co-parenting relationship that sets a positive example for your children. It’s like planting seeds in a garden; with the right care and attention, they’ll grow into something beautiful.

    Putting God at the Center

    Putting God at the center of your co-parenting journey is like adding the strongest adhesive to a fragile bond; it holds everything together. In Matthew 22:37-40, Jesus emphasizes the greatest commandments—to love God with all your heart, soul, and mind, and to love your neighbor as yourself. When it comes to co-parenting, your ex is still your neighbor, and loving them as yourself means prioritizing your relationship with God.

    Imagine your relationship with God as the North Star, guiding your co-parenting ship through stormy seas. When you seek His guidance and wisdom, it’s like having a seasoned navigator on board, helping you steer clear of rocky shores and treacherous waters.

    Practically speaking, this means turning to God in prayer and meditation when faced with co-parenting decisions. Instead of relying solely on your understanding, you’re tapping into a divine wisdom that surpasses human understanding.

    For example, let’s say you and your ex are at odds about your child’s education. Instead of resorting to arguments and ultimatums, you take a step back and pray for clarity and understanding. In doing so, you open your heart to God’s guidance, allowing Him to soften your stance and help you see things from a different perspective. Before you know it, you’re sitting down with your ex, calmly discussing your options and finding common ground.

    Furthermore, praying together as co-parents can be a game-changer. It’s like joining forces in a battle, knowing that you have each other’s backs. By lifting your children and your co-parenting relationship up in prayer, you’re inviting God into the midst of your struggles and triumphs, trusting Him to work miracles in your lives.

    Communication Is Key

    Effective communication in co-parenting is like oil in the gears of a well-oiled machine; it keeps everything running smoothly. In Proverbs 15:1, it says, “A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger.” This verse highlights the power of gentle, respectful communication in diffusing conflict—a valuable lesson for co-parents navigating the ups and downs of raising children together.

    Think of communication as the bridge that connects you and your ex, allowing you to share important information, make joint decisions, and coordinate schedules. Without it, you’re like ships passing in the night, missing crucial opportunities to collaborate and support each other in the shared goal of raising your children.

    So, how can you develop healthy communication in your co-parenting relationship? 

    First and foremost, practice active listening. Instead of formulating your response while they’re talking, truly listen to what they’re saying, validating their feelings and concerns.

    Another tip is to use “I” statements instead of “you” statements. It’s like taking ownership of your feelings and experiences, rather than placing blame on your ex. For example, instead of saying, “You always forget to pick up the kids on time,” try saying, “I feel frustrated when the kids aren’t picked up on time.”

    And speaking of blame, it’s important to avoid playing the blame game altogether. Instead of focusing on past mistakes or grievances, focus on finding solutions and moving forward together. It’s like turning the page to a new chapter in your co-parenting journey, where forgiveness and grace abound.

    Lastly, communicate regularly and respectfully, even in difficult situations. Whether you’re discussing a change in visitation schedules or addressing a behavioral issue with your child, approach the conversation with kindness and understanding.

    Respecting Each Other’s Roles

    Respecting each other’s roles as parents in co-parenting is like acknowledging that each brick in a building has its unique purpose; without one, the structure wouldn’t stand. Ephesians 4:32, says, “And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.” This verse emphasizes the importance of kindness, tenderness, and forgiveness—qualities that are essential in co-parenting, whether you’re still together or not.

    When you respect each other’s roles as parents, you’re not competing for the finish line; you’re running alongside each other, cheering each other on every step of the way.

    So, how can you support and encourage each other as co-parents? 

    First and foremost, acknowledge and appreciate the unique strengths and qualities that each of you brings to the table. It’s like recognizing that you’re both valuable members of the parenting team, each contributing something special to your children’s lives.

    For example, let’s say your ex is great at helping with homework, while you excel at planning fun weekend activities. Instead of feeling threatened or inadequate, celebrate each other’s strengths and work together to create a balanced approach to parenting. It’s like weaving a tapestry of love and support, with each thread adding to the beauty of the whole.

    Furthermore, avoid criticizing or undermining each other’s parenting decisions. Instead of nitpicking or second-guessing each other’s choices, focus on finding common ground and working together for the greater good of your children.

    Co-Parenting Through Conflict

    Conflict in co-parenting is like a storm brewing on the horizon; it’s bound to happen, but how you weather it makes all the difference. In Matthew 18:15-17, Jesus provides a blueprint for resolving conflicts within the church community, emphasizing the importance of addressing issues directly and with love. 

    Similarly, in co-parenting, facing conflicts head-on and with a spirit of compassion is key to maintaining a healthy relationship for the sake of your children.

    Acknowledge that conflicts are inevitable in co-parenting.

    Instead of sweeping issues under the rug or letting resentment simmer, address them openly and honestly, keeping the well-being of your children at the forefront of your mind.

    So, how can you navigate conflicts in a Godly manner? 

    Start by practicing humility and patience, approaching the situation with a willingness to listen and learn. It’s like laying down your pride and ego at the foot of the cross, allowing God’s grace to guide your words and actions.

    Furthermore, prioritize the well-being of your children above all else. Whether you’re negotiating visitation schedules or discussing discipline strategies, keep their needs and emotions at the forefront of your decision-making process.

    Additionally, seek common ground and compromise whenever possible. It’s important to find a middle ground where both parties feel heard and respected, rather than digging in heels and refusing to budge. Remember, it’s not about winning or losing—it’s about finding solutions that work for everyone involved.

    And finally, don’t hesitate to seek outside help if conflicts become too difficult to navigate on your own. Just as you wouldn’t hesitate to call a mechanic when your car breaks down, seeking mediation or counseling can provide valuable support and guidance when navigating the complexities of co-parenting.

    So, let us embrace conflicts as opportunities for growth and learning in the co-parenting journey. By approaching them with humility, patience, and a godly perspective, you can navigate even the stormiest of seas and emerge stronger, wiser, and more united for the sake of your children.

    Dear parents embarking on the journey of co-parenting, let me leave you with this heartfelt encouragement: trust in God’s guidance and wisdom as you navigate the twists and turns of your co-parenting relationships.

    Building a healthy co-parenting relationship isn’t always easy. It takes time, effort, and prayer. But know that every step you take, every word you speak, and every decision you make is worth it—for the sake of your children and your relationship with God.

    So, lean on Him in times of uncertainty, seek His wisdom in moments of doubt, and trust in His love to sustain you through it all. With God as your anchor, you can weather any storm and emerge stronger, more united, and more deeply rooted in faith.

    May His grace and peace be with you on this journey, guiding you ever closer to His perfect will for your lives and the lives of your precious children. Amen.

    Photo Credit: ©GettyImages/digitalskillet

    Emmanuel Abimbola is a creative freelance writer, blogger, and web designer. He is a devout Christian with an uncompromising faith who hails from Ondo State in Nigeria, West Africa. As a lover of kids, Emmanuel runs a small elementary school in Arigidi, Nigeria.

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  • Building a Strong Marriage as Christian Parents

    Building a Strong Marriage as Christian Parents

    A strong marriage is one with deep and abiding love between spouses. Selflessness, giving of oneself, and an unwavering dedication to the happiness and well-being of the other characterize this kind of love. Couples prioritize their relationship above all other human connections and make a conscious effort to nurture and strengthen their bond over time.

    Communication is the lifeblood of any successful relationship, and in a strong marriage, couples prioritize open, honest, and respectful communication. They actively listen to each other, express their thoughts and feelings openly, and work together to resolve conflicts and misunderstandings healthily and constructively.

    In a strong marriage, spouses respect each other’s individuality, opinions, and feelings. They support each other’s goals, dreams, and aspirations, cheering each other on through life’s triumphs and challenges. There is a deep sense of mutual admiration and appreciation for each other’s strengths and contributions to the relationship.

    Couples in a strong marriage also share common values, beliefs, and goals that serve as the foundation for their relationship. They align on important issues such as faith, family, finances, and lifestyle choices and work together towards common objectives. This shared sense of purpose fosters unity and collaboration in the marriage.

    Physical, emotional, and spiritual intimacy are also essential in a strong marriage. Couples prioritize quality time together, nurturing their emotional connection through meaningful conversations, shared experiences, and acts of affection. 

    They prioritize each other’s needs and desires, cultivating a deep and fulfilling bond that sustains them through the ups and downs of life.

    Lastly, for Christian couples, a strong marriage is grounded in a shared faith in God and a commitment to spiritual growth both individually and as a couple. They rely on their faith to guide them through challenges, seek God’s wisdom and guidance in their decisions, and prioritize spiritual practices such as prayer, worship, and studying the Bible together.

    Why You Must Build a Strong Marriage as Christian Parents

    Building a strong marriage as Christian parents isn’t just about personal fulfillment; it’s about laying a firm foundation for the well-being and stability of your entire family. 

    Here’s why it’s so crucial:

    Modeling Healthy Relationships: As parents, we are the primary influencers in our children’s lives. Our marriage serves as a model for their understanding of love, commitment, and relational dynamics. By nurturing a strong and loving marital bond, we provide our children with a blueprint for healthy relationships in their own lives.

    Emotional Security for Children: A strong marriage creates a sense of security and stability for our children. When they witness their parents loving and supporting each other, they feel reassured and confident in their family environment. This emotional security lays the groundwork for their overall well-being and development.

    Effective Parenting: When spouses are united and supportive of each other, they can make decisions together, establish consistent discipline, and provide a nurturing environment for their children to thrive. This unity strengthens the family unit and fosters a sense of cohesion and teamwork.

    Resilience in Times of Crisis: When couples are deeply connected and committed to each other, they can weather storms together, leaning on their faith and each other for strength and guidance. This resilience not only benefits the couple but also sets a powerful example for their children on how to navigate adversity with grace and faith.

    Fulfillment and Joy: A thriving marriage brings fulfillment and joy to our own lives. When we prioritize our relationship with our spouse, invest in communication and connection, and cultivate a loving partnership, we experience a deeper sense of satisfaction and purpose. 

    This fulfillment radiates throughout the family, creating a positive atmosphere of love and happiness.

    Strong Marriage Through Foundation in Faith

    Building a strong marriage on a foundation of faith is like constructing a sturdy house on a solid rock rather than shifting sand. It provides a steadfast anchor in the storms of life and a guiding light in times of darkness. 

    Proverbs 3:5-6 reminds us to trust in the Lord wholeheartedly, surrendering our understanding and relying on His wisdom and guidance. 

    In marriage, trusting in God’s plan for our relationship is paramount. 

    Couples must also prioritize their relationship with God, both individually and as a unit. Individually, each spouse should cultivate their relationship with God through prayer, reading the Bible, and spiritual disciplines. 

    This personal growth strengthens their faith and equips them to contribute positively to the marriage. Additionally, setting aside time for shared spiritual practices such as praying together, attending church services, and studying the Bible as a family fosters unity and spiritual intimacy. 

    By building their marriage on Christ, couples can weather any storm and experience the abundant blessings of a union grounded in faith.

    Strong Marriage Through Communication and Connection

    Proverbs 15:1 says, “A soft answer turneth away wrath, but grievous words stir up anger.” 

    Listening is more than just hearing; it’s about truly understanding and empathizing with your spouse’s thoughts, feelings, and perspective. Practice active listening by giving your full attention, maintaining eye contact, and reflecting on what you’ve heard to ensure understanding.

    By listening attentively without interrupting or rushing to respond, couples demonstrate respect and validation for each other’s experiences and emotions. Emotions are also a natural part of being human, and learning to express them constructively is crucial for healthy communication in marriage. 

    Strive to openly share your feelings, needs, and concerns with your spouse, using “I” statements to express yourself without blaming or accusing your spouse. 

    Remember, conflict is inevitable in any relationship, but how you navigate and resolve conflicts determines the health and longevity of your marriage. Therefore, approach conflicts with humility, patience, and a willingness to seek compromise and understanding. 

    You must understand that conflicts can be opportunities for growth and deep connection when approached with love and respect.

    Amidst the busyness of life, it’s important to prioritize quality time with your spouse to nurture your connection and intimacy. So, schedule regular date nights and engage in activities you both enjoy. 

    Whether going for a walk, cooking together, or simply cuddling on the couch, spending intentional time together strengthens the emotional bond and reinforces the foundation of your relationship.

    Strong Marriage Through Shared Values and Goals

    Aligning on core values and goals as a couple is vital for building a strong and enduring marriage. As Amos 3:3 wisely points out, “Can two walk together, except they be agreed?” This verse underscores the necessity of agreement and harmony in a relationship.

    Firstly, let’s delve into the significance of shared values. 

    In any relationship, including marriage, having shared values forms the foundation upon which trust, respect, and understanding are built. These values encompass beliefs, principles, and priorities that guide your decisions and actions. 

    When spouses share similar values, it creates cohesion and unity within the marriage, fostering a sense of common purpose and direction.

    Also, establishing common goals is essential for couples to progress and thrive. 

    These goals can encompass various aspects of life, including finances, parenting, career aspirations, and personal growth. By openly discussing and setting goals as a couple, you build a sense of partnership and collaboration.

    When it comes to finances, for instance, being transparent and discussing budgeting, saving, and spending habits can prevent conflicts and promote financial stability. Similarly, discussing parenting styles and agreeing on approaches to discipline, education, and family dynamics can strengthen your co-parenting partnership.

    Lastly, by working together towards common goals, you strengthen your bond as a couple and achieve greater fulfillment and success in your endeavors. Whether by pursuing career aspirations, building a family, or contributing to the community, shared goals provide a sense of purpose and unity.

    Strong Marriage Through Prioritizing Each Other

    Ephesians 5:25 provides a profound reminder of the sacrificial love husbands are to demonstrate towards their wives, mirroring Christ’s love for the Church. This verse reveals the importance of prioritizing one’s spouse above all earthly relationships, second only to our relationship with God.

    Prioritizing each other in marriage involves intentional actions and attitudes that demonstrate love, respect, and appreciation on a daily basis. It requires recognizing the value and significance of your spouse in your life and making consistent efforts to nurture and strengthen the marital bond.

    One practical way to prioritize your spouse is through acts of service. This involves actively seeking opportunities to serve and support your partner in their daily life. Whether by helping with household chores, running errands, or offering a listening ear after a long day, acts of service are how you demonstrate love and selflessness.

    Also, note that words of affirmation play a crucial role in building up and encouraging your spouse. Taking the time to express appreciation, admiration, and affection through kind words and affirming gestures can uplift your partner’s spirits and strengthen the emotional connection between you. 

    Simple phrases like “I love you,” “I appreciate you,” and “I’m proud of you” can have a profound impact on your spouse’s sense of worth and belonging within the marriage.

    Physical affection is another important aspect of prioritizing your spouse. Holding hands, hugging, kissing, and other forms of physical touch convey love, warmth, and intimacy in the relationship. 

    Making time for physical affection fosters emotional closeness and strengthens the bond between husband and wife.

    Strong Marriage Through Setting an Example for Children

    One of the most profound ways parents can influence their children is by demonstrating unity, love, and respect within their marriage. Children observe and absorb the dynamics of their parents’ relationship, and a harmonious and loving marriage is a powerful example for them to emulate in their future relationships.

    Parental unity is particularly impactful, as it provides children with a sense of security and stability. When we prioritize our marriage and work together as a team, it creates an environment of trust and emotional safety for children to thrive. They learn the importance of cooperation, compromise, and communication in building strong and lasting relationships.

    Moreover, the love and respect we show each other as a couple lay the foundation for healthy attitudes such as love and selflessness in our children’s lives. When children witness their parents treating each other with kindness, empathy, and affection, they internalize these values and carry them into their interactions with other people.

    Also, involving our children in family discussions and activities further reinforces a sense of unity and belonging. This encourages children to feel valued and heard, strengthening their bond with their parents and siblings.

    Photo Credit: ©Getty Images/Monkey Business Images

    Emmanuel Abimbola is a creative freelance writer, blogger, and web designer. He is a devout Christian with an uncompromising faith who hails from Ondo State in Nigeria, West Africa. As a lover of kids, Emmanuel runs a small elementary school in Arigidi, Nigeria.

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  • Finding Purpose and Joy Again as a Widower

    Finding Purpose and Joy Again as a Widower

    Mr. Harris, our friendly next-door neighbor, was a sunshine on our street. Always with a wave and a warm hello, he’d stop to chat about the weather or our weekend plans. Then tragedy struck. 

    One morning, news of a car accident spread through the neighborhood. It was his wife, a vibrant woman, who was so loving and caring. Her passing was a shock that left us all numb.

    But for poor Mr. Harris, the world shattered. A familiar emptiness began to seep into our once lively street corner. We’d see him leave for work, his shoulders slumped, the twinkle gone from his eyes. The man who’d always been so active in the church, leading the choir with gusto, barely mustered a smile during services. The grief was palpable, a heavy cloak wrapped tightly around him.

    Weeks turned into months, and the toll on Mr. Harris became evident. He lost weight, his attitude towards life changed, and the spring in his step dwindled. This was a far cry from the upbeat man we knew, and it hurt to see him like that.

    Mr. Harris was drowning in grief, a man who had genuinely made people happy. This made me realize how unprepared we are for loss a lot of the time, especially when it comes to dealing with life on our own after decades of marriage.

    May this piece serve as a lighthouse for people in similar dark places, a guide for finding purpose again, and a glimmer of hope even in the middle of suffering.

    The Pain of Losing a Wife

    Losing a spouse is one of life’s most profound and heart-wrenching experiences. As widowers, you are thrust into a journey of grief and loss that can feel overwhelming and all-encompassing. 

    The pain of losing a beloved wife leaves an indelible mark on your heart, challenging you to navigate a new reality without the person who was once your partner, confidante, and best friend.

    In the words of C.S. Lewis, himself a widower: “No one ever told me that grief felt so like fear.” These words, I’m sure, would resonate deeply with anyone who has experienced the profound loss of a spouse. Grief can indeed feel like a constant companion, casting a shadow over even the brightest moments of your life.

    Yet, amid our sorrow, there is hope. Despite the pain, there is a path forward—a path that leads to finding purpose and joy again, even amid your grief. 

    Understanding Grief through a Christian Lens

    In your grief, it is essential to turn to the comfort offered by Scripture. The Bible offers profound insights into the nature of grief and loss, providing solace and hope to those mourning.

    Psalm 34:18 says, “The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” These words remind us that even in our darkest moments of despair, God is near. He sees our pain, hears our cries, and offers His unfailing love and compassion to sustain us. This verse also assures us that we are not alone in our grief; God walks beside us, offering comfort and healing to our broken hearts.

    Jesus Himself experienced profound grief at the death of His friend Lazarus, even though He knew that He would raise him from the dead (John 11:35). Grief is not a sign of weakness but of the depth of our love and the reality of our loss.

    Faith is also crucial in navigating the journey of grief; it sustains us during the darkest moments, reminding us of God’s promises and His presence with us. Through prayer, meditation on Scripture, and fellowship with other believers, you will find strength and comfort to face each day with hope and resilience.

    Also, you can take comfort in knowing that your grief is not the end of the story. Through our faith in Christ, we have the assurance of eternal life and the promise of ultimate restoration. 

    While the pain of losing a wife may never completely disappear, you can find hope in the knowledge that, one day, we will be reunited with our loved ones in the presence of God, where there will be no more tears or sorrow (Revelation 21:4).

    Dealing With Common Emotions Experienced by Widowers

    Grief: Grief is a natural response to the loss of a spouse, encompassing feelings of sadness, longing, and emptiness. But turn to God in prayer and seek comfort in His promises. 

    Remember that God is close to the brokenhearted and offers solace to those who mourn. Matthew 5:4 says, “Blessed are they that mourn: for they shall be comforted.”

    The loss of a spouse often leaves one feeling profoundly alone. Suddenly, the companionship and intimacy that once defined your life are gone, leaving a void that can feel insurmountable. Loneliness can be particularly severe during moments of solitude or when faced with reminders of your wife’s absence. 

    However, it is best to find companionship and support in God’s presence and through the community of fellow believers. Lean on the promise that God will never leave us nor forsake us. Hebrews 13:5 reminds us: “I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee.” 

    Confusion: Losing a spouse can also leave one feeling disoriented and bewildered, unsure of how to navigate this new reality. We may even find ourselves grappling with existential questions about the meaning of life and the purpose of our suffering. 

    For someone who’s just lost his wife, confusion can arise from the practical challenges of adjusting to life without her, such as managing household responsibilities or making important decisions alone. In moments of confusion, it is helpful to seek clarity and guidance through prayer and meditation on the Word of God and His promise to direct our paths (Proverbs 3:5-6).

    Anger: You may feel frustrated or resentful towards God, others, or yourself. You may also experience feelings of resentment towards your circumstances or your late wife for leaving you behind. 

    Acknowledge and process these feelings of anger in healthy ways rather than suppressing or denying them.

    However, you should strive to express your emotions honestly and openly to God in prayer, knowing that He can handle your anger. Seek His peace and cultivate a heart of compassion and love.

    Ephesians 4:31-32 reminds us: “Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamor, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice; and be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.”

    Fear: The loss of a spouse can evoke feelings of fear and anxiety about the future—the fear of being alone, facing life’s challenges without your partner, or of what the future holds for your kids. 

    However, trust in God’s providence and sovereignty because He is in control of all things. By surrendering your fears to God in prayer and seeking His guidance and protection, you can find courage and peace to face the unknown with confidence.

    Rediscovering Joy in Everyday Moments

    While happiness is often dependent on external circumstances and fleeting moments of pleasure, joy is deeper and more enduring. Joy is a spiritual sense of contentment and fulfillment that transcends the ups and downs of life. It is a state of being rooted in faith and gratitude rather than in temporary pleasures or material possessions.

    In the context of grief, rediscovering joy does not mean that you will always feel happy or that your pain will disappear overnight. Instead, it means finding moments of peace, hope, and connection amidst the sorrow. It means recognizing the beauty and goodness that still exist in the world, even amid your grief.

    One common misconception about joy after the loss of a spouse is that it is somehow disrespectful to the memory of our loved ones. Some may feel guilty for experiencing moments of joy, fearing that it diminishes the significance of their loss or implies that they have moved on too quickly. 

    However, joy and grief are not mutually exclusive. It is possible to honor the memory of our spouse while still finding moments of joy in our lives.

    Another misconception is that joy can only be found in grand gestures or extraordinary experiences. In reality, joy often comes from the simplest of moments—a shared meal with loved ones, a walk in nature, or a quiet moment of reflection. 

    By embracing these everyday moments and finding gratitude in the small things, we can cultivate a deeper sense of joy that sustains us through the darkest times.

    Ultimately, rediscovering joy after the loss of a spouse is a journey—one that requires patience, resilience, and faith. It means allowing yourself to feel a wide range of emotions, including sadness and grief, while also remaining open to moments of joy and hope. 

    As Psalm 30:5 reminds us, “Weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning.” Even in your darkest moments, there is always the promise of joy on the horizon, waiting to be rediscovered in the everyday moments of life.

    How to Rekindle Joy in Your Daily Life

    1. Engage in Meaningful Activities: Finding joy in your daily life often involves engaging in activities that bring fulfillment and purpose. Whether by volunteering for a cause you’re passionate about, pursuing a hobby or creative outlet, or spending time in nature, investing your time and energy in meaningful activities can uplift your spirits and bring a sense of fulfillment. 

    These activities provide a welcome distraction from grief and offer opportunities for personal growth and connection with others.

    2. Connect with Others in the Community and Fellowship: Community and fellowship play a crucial role in cultivating joy after the loss of a spouse. Surrounding yourself with supportive friends, family members, and fellow believers can provide a sense of belonging and companionship during these difficult times. 

    Whether by joining a support group for widowers, participating in church activities, or simply spending time with loved ones, connecting with others who understand your journey can bring comfort, laughter, and a renewed sense of hope.

    3. Invest in Things You Love and Are Passionate About. Rediscovering joy also involves investing in activities and interests that bring you joy. Prioritizing self-care and self-expression is essential for maintaining emotional well-being. 

    By dedicating time and energy to things that bring you joy, you can nourish your soul and cultivate a sense of purpose and satisfaction in your daily life.

    4. Be thankful: Take time each day to reflect on God’s blessings in your life, no matter how small or seemingly insignificant they can be. Keep a gratitude journal where you write down things you’re thankful for daily. This will help shift your focus from what you’ve lost to what you still have. 

    By adopting an attitude of gratitude, you can cultivate a sense of contentment and joy that transcends your circumstances.

    5. Embrace Moments of Beauty and Wonder: In your moments of grief, remain open to moments of beauty and wonder in the world around you. 

    Whether by watching a sunrise, admiring a work of art, or savoring a delicious meal, allowing yourself to experience moments of joy and awe can uplift your spirits and remind you of the goodness that still exists in the world. 

    To every widower who may be struggling, I want you to know that you are not alone. Amid your pain and sorrow, there is hope. Though the road may seem long and the burden heavy, you have the strength through Christ to persevere. 

    Take comfort in knowing that God sees your tears, hears your prayers, and holds you close to His heart. Lean on God in your moments of weakness, for He is your refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble (Psalm 46:1).

    May you find peace amid your pain, strength amid your weakness, and hope amid your despair. You are loved, you are valued, and you are not alone.

    Photo Credit: ©Getty Images/OSTILL

    Emmanuel Abimbola is a creative freelance writer, blogger, and web designer. He is a devout Christian with an uncompromising faith who hails from Ondo State in Nigeria, West Africa. As a lover of kids, Emmanuel runs a small elementary school in Arigidi, Nigeria.

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  • Raising Responsible Parents: Guiding Your Adult Children in Parenthood

    Raising Responsible Parents: Guiding Your Adult Children in Parenthood

    As seasoned parents who have weathered the storms and reveled in the joys of raising children, we find ourselves positioned to impart the wisdom garnered through our journey. Our role as experienced parents goes beyond mere advice; it includes a nurturing presence, a beacon of support, and a wellspring of shared experiences. 

    It also includes teaching and guiding them in matters of faith and righteous living. 

    Deuteronomy 6:6-7 says, “And these words, which I command thee this day, shall be in thine heart: And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up.” Responsible parenthood involves the consistent and intentional transmission of values throughout various aspects of daily life.

    In building responsible parenthood in our adult children, our experiences become the compass that guides them, nurturing a legacy of love, resilience, and unwavering commitment to the sacred duty of parenting.

    The Changing Dynamics

    As we go through parenting, a significant shift occurs when our children transition into adulthood and take on the profound responsibility of parenthood. This demands a subtle yet crucial recognition: our role evolves from being the primary caretaker to becoming a steadfast supporter and guide. 

    This transition is not a relinquishment of our responsibility but a metamorphosis into a role that seamlessly integrates our wisdom and support into our adult children’s parenting journey. It’s a paradigm shift that calls for a delicate balance between offering guidance and allowing them the autonomy to shape their unique parenting paths.

    The journey of guiding adult children into parenthood is a significant expedition marked by challenges and successes. The challenges are many, from navigating the complexities of modern parenting philosophies to addressing the ever-changing landscape of societal expectations. 

    Yet, intertwined with these challenges are the joys of witnessing the growth of a new family, the triumphs of overcoming obstacles, and the shared moments of laughter and love. 

    Practical Tips for Guiding Adult Children in Parenthood

    Navigating the intricate path of guiding our adult children in their journey of parenthood requires a thoughtful and supportive approach. Here are some practical tips that can serve as guiding lights in this meaningful endeavor:

    1. Allow open dialogue on parenting philosophies. 

    Encourage an environment where open dialogue thrives. Recognize that each family is unique, with its own set of values, traditions, and dynamics. Emphasize the importance of adapting advice to suit their family structure. This promotes a sense of flexibility and respect for diverse approaches to parenting, allowing for more personalized and effective guidance.

    2. Encourage a supportive environment.

    Create an atmosphere where your availability for advice is evident, yet it remains non-intrusive. Offer your wisdom as a resource rather than an imposition, creating a space where your adult children feel comfortable seeking guidance when needed, knowing it comes from a place of genuine support rather than judgment.

    Strike a delicate balance between providing support and allowing autonomy. While your experience can offer valuable insights, respect the independence of your adult children in making their parenting decisions. This balance ensures they feel empowered to navigate their unique journey while benefiting from your wisdom.

    3. Emphasize the value of learning from mistakes.

    Make your adult children acknowledge the inherent challenges that come with parenthood. Engage them in candid conversations about the realities of parenting, sharing your own experiences of overcoming difficulties. This openness sets the stage for a realistic understanding of the journey, preparing them for the joys and tribulations that come with raising a family.

    Instill in them the understanding that mistakes are inherent in any journey, including parenthood. Encourage resilience by emphasizing the importance of learning and growing through experiences. Share stories of how challenges, when approached with resilience, can become stepping stones to personal and familial growth. This will ultimately create in them a mindset that views setbacks as opportunities for development.

    4. Embrace continuous learning and adaptability.

    Advocate for a culture of continuous learning within the family. Encourage reading, attending parenting workshops, and staying informed about evolving parenting trends. This commitment to ongoing education will enrich their collective knowledge base and promote an environment where growth and adaptability are valued.

    Remind your adult children that parenting is an ever-evolving journey. Teach them to cultivate flexibility in their approaches, emphasizing the importance of adapting strategies based on the changing needs of their children and the evolving dynamics of family life. This adaptability ensures a dynamic and responsive parenting style that aligns with the evolving nature of family dynamics.

    5. Nurture connection through quality time.

    Recognize the importance of spending quality time with both your grandchildren and adult children. Nurturing familial bonds through shared experiences creates a foundation of trust and mutual understanding. Whether it’s through family outings, dinners, or simple gatherings, quality time fosters a connection that goes beyond the realm of advice, reinforcing the familial support system.

    Encourage the establishment of family traditions and rituals. These contribute to a sense of identity continuity and provide a framework for building lasting memories. Shared traditions create a sense of stability and belonging, becoming touchpoints that strengthen the family unit.

    6. Instill the importance of self-care.

    Remind adult children of the significance of self-care amidst the demands of parenthood. Encourage the cultivation of personal well-being through practices such as mindfulness, exercise, and adequate rest. Emphasize that a nurtured caregiver is better equipped to provide effective and compassionate parenting.

    Lead by example in prioritizing self-care. Demonstrate the value of balance by showcasing your commitment to maintaining your physical, emotional, and spiritual well-being. This serves as a powerful illustration of the positive impact that self-care can have on both the individual and the family unit.

    7. Leverage technology for support.

    Introduce the benefits of leveraging technology to access parenting resources. There is a plethora of parenting apps and online communities that provide valuable insights, parenting tips, and a sense of community. Guide them toward reliable platforms that align with their parenting philosophies.

    Highlight the potential of virtual support networks. In the digital age, connecting with other parents through online forums and social media can offer a sense of camaraderie. Encourage the exploration of these platforms for shared experiences, advice, and a sense of community.

    8. Encourage intergenerational wisdom-sharing.

    Create opportunities for intergenerational conversations within the family. Encourage the sharing of parenting experiences not only between you and your adult children but also among different generations. This exchange of wisdom fosters a rich collection of insights, blending traditional values with contemporary perspectives.

    Emphasize the importance of valuing the wisdom of elders, including grandparents and great-grandparents. Their experiences, often rooted in a different era, can provide unique perspectives on parenting that enrich the family narrative. Facilitate avenues for these individuals to share their stories and insights with the younger generations.

    The goal here is to create a holistic framework that encompasses not only practical parenting advice but also nurtures the emotional, spiritual, and social dimensions of the familial journey. Each of these tips serves as guidance and support for your adult children as they navigate the terrain of parenthood.

    Nurturing a Legacy of Responsible Parenthood

    We must also imbibe in them the fortitude to adhere to responsible parenting. The seeds of responsible parenting, sown with intentionality and care, possess the transformative power to shape not just the character of our own children but to imprint upon the collective consciousness of our descendants a legacy woven with threads of empathy, resilience, and unwavering commitment to the well-being of the familial unit.

    It is a recognition that the actions and choices we make in guiding our adult children today reflect into the future, influencing the ethos of families yet unborn. In understanding this, the weight of our role as stewards of responsible parenthood takes on a higher significance—a sacred duty that transcends the boundaries of our immediate familial space.

    We must, however, implore not only the wisdom garnered from our own experiences but also advocate for a commitment to continuous learning and growth—a commitment that stands as a beacon, illuminating the path toward an ever-evolving understanding of the intricacies of parenthood. 

    This commitment to learning is not confined to the academic realm but extends into the heart of familial interactions, where each interaction becomes a lesson, each challenge an opportunity for growth, and each joy a testament to the rewards of resilient and responsible parenting.

    Why It’s Important to Raise Responsible Parent 

    Proverbs 22:6 says, “Train up a child in the way he should go; and when he is old, he will not depart from it.” This highlights the impact of early guidance and the responsibility of parents to instill values that withstand the tests of adulthood and parenthood.

    The need for parental guidance during the transition to adulthood and parenthood is even more apparent in the modern era, which is characterized by quick changes in society and shifting family dynamics. The Apostle Paul’s counsel in Ephesians 6:4 reinforces this need, urging fathers to “bring [their children] up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.” The call to nurture and admonish implies an active and intentional role in guiding our adult children, not just in their spiritual journey but also in the practical aspects of parenthood.

    The challenges of contemporary society, with its myriad distractions and shifting cultural landscapes, make the role of parental guidance indispensable. As adult children journey through the complexities of parenthood, they encounter a barrage of influences that may not align with godly principles. Therefore, providing them with guidance firmly rooted in the unchanging Word of God becomes a compass, directing them through the stormy seas of conflicting ideologies and societal norms.

    Consider the example of Timothy in the New Testament, whose faith was nurtured and strengthened by the guidance of his mother Eunice and grandmother Lois (2 Timothy 1:5). This intergenerational transmission of faith and wisdom exemplifies the lasting impact of parental guidance on the spiritual heritage of families.

    Guiding adult children into parenthood is not only about imparting rules but also about modeling a Christ-centered life. The words of Paul in 1 Corinthians 11:1 say, “Be ye followers of me, even as I also am of Christ.” As parents, our lives become living epistles, and our guidance serves as a roadmap for our adult children to follow in the footsteps of Christ in their journey of parenthood.

    Photo Credit: ©GettyImages/DGLimages

    Emmanuel Abimbola is a creative freelance writer, blogger, and web designer. He is a devout Christian with an uncompromising faith who hails from Ondo State in Nigeria, West Africa. As a lover of kids, Emmanuel runs a small elementary school in Arigidi, Nigeria.

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  • How Does Forgiveness Strengthen Marriage?

    How Does Forgiveness Strengthen Marriage?

    Forgiveness is a fundamental means of maintaining and restoring harmony and unity within a marriage. Spouses will inevitably hurt or offend each other at some point in their journey together. These offenses, whether major or minor, can create a rift between partners if not addressed. So, forgiveness acts as the bridge that spans this divide, allowing couples to mend their wounds and move forward together in love and understanding.

    The Bible considers forgiveness a virtue that Christians should practice. One of the most well-known passages regarding forgiveness is in the Lord’s Prayer in Matthew 6:12, “And forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors.” This verse highlights the reciprocal nature of forgiveness; it implies that as we seek forgiveness from God, we should also extend forgiveness to those who have wronged us. 

    This principle applies directly to marital relationships, where spouses should forgive each other as they seek forgiveness from God. Ephesians 4:32 further reinforces this idea: “And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.” 

    Forgiveness also aligns with love, as mentioned in 1 Corinthians 13:4-5: “Charity suffereth long and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up, does not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil.” In marriage, this means that love is patient, slow to anger, quick to forgive, and does not keep a record of wrongs. Practicing forgiveness is a manifestation of the love that God expects in a marital relationship.

    In other words, forgiveness in marriage is more than a practical strategy to maintain peace; it is a reflection of the Christian duty to forgive as we have been forgiven by God. By embracing forgiveness, couples can nurture love, unity, and spiritual growth within their marriage.

    The Role of Forgiveness in Strengthening Marriages

    Forgiveness plays a profound role in fostering empathy and understanding between spouses within the context of marriage. 

    Forgiveness paves the way for open and honest communication between spouses. When one partner forgives the other, it creates an environment where they both feel safe to express their feelings and concerns. This leads to greater empathy as each partner gains insight into the other’s perspective and emotions.

    As spouses forgive and seek reconciliation, they often share their vulnerabilities and insecurities. This vulnerability can lead to a deep sense of empathy as both partners become aware of each other’s weaknesses and fears. This shared vulnerability fosters a more profound understanding of each other’s struggles.

    Holding onto grudges and resentments can build emotional walls between spouses. These walls hinder true understanding and connection. Forgiveness, however, breaks down these barriers, allowing spouses to see each other’s authentic selves. This transparency leads to increased empathy as they witness each other’s humanity.

    Forgiveness often accompanies personal growth and transformation. When spouses forgive and are forgiven, they have the opportunity to learn from their mistakes and make positive changes. Witnessing this growth in each other can enhance empathy, as both partners appreciate the efforts to become better individuals and spouses.

    Forgiveness is acknowledging that no one is perfect and everyone makes mistakes. When spouses forgive each other, they extend empathy for each other’s human weaknesses and imperfections. This shared empathy can deepen their bond as they understand that they are on a journey of growth together.

    Trust is a fundamental component of any marriage. Forgiveness is closely tied to rebuilding trust. When one spouse forgives the other, it signifies a willingness to trust again. This act of trust boosts empathy, as both partners understand the importance of rebuilding and maintaining trust within the relationship.

    Forgiveness also creates an emotional connection that goes beyond words. It involves actions and gestures that demonstrate care and concern. These acts of love and compassion contribute to a deeper emotional bond between spouses. It plays a pivotal role in breaking the cycle of negative patterns and arguments within a marriage.

    Practical Steps Towards Practicing Forgiveness

    Developing a forgiving attitude in a marriage is a crucial endeavor that requires intentional effort and commitment. Here are some strategies that couples can employ to nurture forgiveness in their relationship:

    Regular Communication: Open and honest communication is the cornerstone of a healthy and forgiving marriage. Couples should make it a habit to discuss their feelings, concerns, and grievances with each other. This includes addressing issues promptly rather than letting them fester. When both partners are willing to listen and express themselves respectfully, misunderstandings can be clarified, and forgiveness can be more readily extended.

    Active Listening: Active listening is an essential skill in promoting forgiveness. When one spouse is sharing their feelings or concerns, the other should listen attentively without interrupting or immediately offering solutions. Instead, focus on understanding your partner’s perspective, empathizing with their emotions, and validating their feelings. Active listening creates an environment where both spouses feel heard and valued, reducing the likelihood of escalated conflicts.

    Practicing Empathy: Empathy is a powerful tool for fostering forgiveness. Put yourself in your spouse’s shoes and try to understand their emotions and motivations. Recognize that everyone makes mistakes and has moments of weakness. By empathizing with your partner’s humanity, you can find it easier to forgive their shortcomings.

    Setting Boundaries: Establishing healthy boundaries within the marriage can prevent recurring conflicts. Clearly define acceptable behavior and expectations, and communicate them to your spouse. When both partners respect these boundaries, it reduces the likelihood of hurtful actions that require forgiveness.

    Seeking Professional Guidance: Sometimes, the challenges within a marriage may be too complex to resolve independently. In such cases, seeking the assistance of a qualified marriage counselor, a therapist, and your pastor is a wise decision. Professional guidance can provide valuable insights, teach effective communication skills, and offer strategies for forgiveness and conflict resolution. Remember that seeking help is a sign of strength and commitment to the marriage.

    Prayer and Spiritual Guidance: Prayer and seeking spiritual guidance can be particularly impactful. Praying together for guidance, wisdom, and a forgiving spirit can strengthen the spiritual bond and reinforce the importance of forgiveness within the marriage. Reading and meditating on relevant Bible verses, such as Colossians 3:13, “Forbearing one another, and forgiving one another, if any man quarrels any; even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye,” can serve as a source of inspiration and guidance.

    Reflecting on Personal Growth: Encourage both partners to engage in self-reflection and personal growth. Encourage each other to learn from past mistakes and strive for improvement. A commitment to personal growth can reduce the likelihood of repeated offenses and promote forgiveness as part of the journey toward becoming better spouses and individuals.

    I assure you that by implementing these strategies, couples can create a forgiving and harmonious marital environment that aligns with Christ’s principles and values.

    The Ripple Effect of Forgiveness

    Forgiveness is a virtue that extends far beyond the boundaries of the marital relationship, reaching into the lives of children and other family members and serving as a powerful example that can profoundly influence their behavior and values.

    When spouses demonstrate forgiveness within their marriage, they create a nurturing and harmonious environment that directly impacts their children. Children are highly perceptive and learn from observing the actions and behaviors of their parents. When they witness their parents forgiving each other’s mistakes and offenses, they absorb the importance of forgiveness as a constructive way to address conflicts and maintain loving relationships.

    This example of forgiveness also helps children develop emotional intelligence and conflict-resolution skills. They learn that it is acceptable to make mistakes and that reconciliation and forgiveness are healthy ways to repair relationships. This not only benefits their future relationships but also contributes to their overall emotional well-being.

    Moreover, the impact of forgiveness within a family extends to other family members such as grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins. When they see forgiveness as a central tenet of the family, it fosters a culture of compassion and unity. Disagreements and conflicts will inevitably arise in extended families, but the practice of forgiveness promotes reconciliation, ensuring that family bonds remain strong and unbroken.

    Embrace forgiveness as a daily practice, not just a reaction to conflicts. Make it a part of your marital foundation, woven into the fabric of your relationship. As you do so, you will find that it has the power to mend wounds, strengthen your love, and lead you to a more profound connection with your spouse.

    Make forgiveness the cornerstone of your marriage, a source of hope, and a testament to the enduring power of love. Embrace it wholeheartedly, and may your marital journey be filled with the beauty of reconciliation, unity, and the unwavering love that God intended for couples.

    Photo Credit: ©Getty Images/Sam Edwards

    Emmanuel Abimbola is a creative freelance writer, blogger, and web designer. He is a devout Christian with an uncompromising faith who hails from Ondo State in Nigeria, West Africa. As a lover of kids, Emmanuel runs a small elementary school in Arigidi, Nigeria.

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  • Increasing Intimacy: Strengthening Emotional Bonds in Marriage

    Increasing Intimacy: Strengthening Emotional Bonds in Marriage

    Emotional intimacy plays a pivotal role in nurturing a strong, Christ-centered marital bond. It’s more than just a feeling; it’s a deep connection that allows spouses to share their innermost thoughts, fears, and joys, fostering an environment of trust and love that reflects the teachings of Christ.

    Ephesians 5:25-28 says, “Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church and gave himself for it… So ought men to love their wives as much as their bodies? He that loveth his wife loveth himself.” This underscores the importance of husbands nurturing emotional intimacy by sacrificially loving their wives, mirroring Christ’s love for the church.

    Similarly, Colossians 3:19 advises husbands to “love your wives, and be not bitter against them.” This verse emphasizes the need for husbands to maintain emotional openness and refrain from harboring negative emotions that can hinder intimacy.

    For wives, Proverbs 31:11 speaks to their role in nurturing emotional intimacy: “The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall not need spoil.” This verse highlights the importance of trust in marriage, a foundational element of emotional intimacy.

    To cultivate emotional intimacy, couples must engage in open and honest communication, sharing their thoughts and feelings without fear of judgment. They should actively listen to one another, offering support, empathy, and encouragement. This mirrors the biblical principle of bearing each other’s burdens (Galatians 6:2).

    Moreover, praying together as a couple deepens emotional intimacy by inviting God into the marriage. Matthew 18:20 reminds us, “For where two or three are gathered together in my name, there am I in the midst of them.” This shared spiritual journey strengthens the marital bond.

    Forgiveness is another vital aspect of emotional intimacy, echoing Christ’s teachings about forgiving others. Ephesians 4:32 instructs, “And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.” When couples forgive each other, they create an atmosphere of grace and reconciliation.

    My Take 

    From a Christian standpoint, the concept of emotional intimacy aligns with the principles of love, compassion, and empathy that are at the core of Christ’s teachings. The Bible emphasizes the importance of love in various aspects of life, including marriage.

    My understanding of emotional intimacy in a Christian marriage is grounded in the belief that it’s a reflection of the selfless and sacrificial love exemplified by Jesus Christ. It involves a deep connection where spouses genuinely care for each other’s emotional well-being, just as Christ cares for His followers.

    One of the key aspects of this understanding is the idea that emotional intimacy in marriage is not solely about receiving love but also about giving it selflessly. This echoes Christ’s commandment to “love one another as I have loved you” (John 13:34). In a Christian marriage, emotional intimacy is nurtured by both partners seeking to love and serve each other.

    Emotional intimacy in a Christian marriage is a safe space where couples can be vulnerable, just as we are called to be transparent before God. This vulnerability allows spouses to share their fears, insecurities, and joys, knowing that they will be met with understanding, compassion, and support, much like our relationship with God.

    In essence, emotional intimacy in a Christian marriage involves aligning one’s actions and attitudes with the biblical principles of love, forgiveness, humility, and selflessness. It’s about creating a partnership where both spouses continuously seek to grow together in their faith, supporting each other on their spiritual journeys and reflecting the love of Christ in their interactions.

    Opening Up to Your Spouse Is an Act of Trust

    Vulnerability is not a sign of weakness but rather a demonstration of profound trust and love. James 5:16 says, “Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed.” This verse encourages believers to share their struggles and sins, highlighting the healing power of confession and vulnerability within the context of the Christian community.

    In marriage, vulnerability means being open and transparent with your spouse about your thoughts, feelings, fears, and desires. It’s an act of trust that says, “I trust you with my innermost self.” This vulnerability fosters a sense of safety and emotional closeness within the couple. 

    Overcoming Barriers to Intimacy

    Communication Barriers

    Nurturing effective and empathetic communication in a marriage is crucial for building and maintaining emotional intimacy. Effective communication is like the glue that holds a marriage together, and when infused with empathy, it reflects the teachings of Christ in how we relate to one another.

    You can nurture effective and empathetic communication in your marriage by actively listening to your spouse when they speak. This means giving them your full attention, maintaining eye contact, and showing genuine interest in what they’re saying.

    Try to put yourself in your spouse’s shoes and understand their perspective. This empathetic approach can diffuse conflicts and strengthen emotional connections.

    Proverbs 18:21 states, “Death and life are in the power of the tongue.” Be mindful of your words, ensuring they are gentle and edifying. Avoid hurtful language and instead speak words of encouragement and love.

    Also, praying together as a couple invites God’s presence into your conversations and can bring clarity and wisdom to difficult discussions.

    Colossians 3:13 reminds us to “forgive one another if any man has a quarrel against any.” When conflicts arise, be quick to forgive, just as God forgives us through Christ. Forgiveness is essential for maintaining a healthy communication environment.

    Instead of blaming or becoming defensive during disagreements, focus on addressing the issue together. Ephesians 4:31-32 advises, “Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamor, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice; And be ye kind one to another.”

    Past Wounds

    Ephesians 4:32 says, “And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.” This can be best approached by acknowledging past wounds and the pain they have caused. Open, honest, and empathetic communication is crucial here. Share your feelings with your spouse and encourage them to do the same.

    Turn to God in prayer to seek His guidance and strength in the process of forgiveness. Letting go of bitterness is essential for healing. Understand that forgiveness benefits both the forgiver and the forgiven.

    Busy Schedules

    Balancing busy schedules while prioritizing quality time in your marriage can be challenging but vital for maintaining emotional intimacy.

    Just as you schedule work meetings or appointments, schedule quality time with your spouse. Make it a non-negotiable part of your routine. This demonstrates your commitment to the relationship. And when spending quality time together, disconnect from digital devices and other distractions. Give your full attention to your spouse, which shows respect and love.

    Combine tasks or hobbies with quality time. For instance, you can cook a meal together, go for a walk, or attend a Bible study group as a couple. This way, you’re not only spending time together but also enriching your shared experiences.

    Learn to say no to commitments that may overwhelm your schedule. Prioritizing your marriage sometimes means saying no to other obligations. Divide household and family responsibilities equitably to free up time for each other. Teamwork in managing daily life can reduce stress and create more opportunities for connection.

    Fostering Emotional Intimacy 

    Building emotional intimacy in a Christian marriage can be achieved through various means, and two significant aspects are active listening and shared experiences. 

    Active Listening: Attentive and Respectful Listening as an Expression of Love

    Active listening involves not just hearing the words your spouse is saying but also understanding their emotions, feelings, and underlying needs. In a Christian marriage, active listening becomes an expression of love and respect for your spouse. When you actively listen, you create a safe space for them to share their thoughts, fears, and dreams without fear of judgment. 

    Active listening involves maintaining eye contact, nodding in acknowledgment, and asking clarifying questions to ensure you fully understand what your spouse is saying. It’s about showing empathy and validating their emotions, even if you may not agree with their perspective. This practice builds trust, deepens understanding, and fosters emotional closeness.

    Shared Experiences: Creating Memories That Strengthen the Bond

    Shared experiences play a crucial role in building emotional intimacy in a Christian marriage. These experiences create cherished memories that bind couples together and provide opportunities for growth and connection. 

    Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 captures this idea: “Two are better than one. For if they fall, the one will lift his fellow.” Shared experiences can range from simple activities like cooking together or going for walks to more significant events like attending church services, participating in volunteer work, or embarking on family vacations. The key is to engage in activities that promote togetherness and quality time.

    These shared experiences allow you to strengthen your emotional bond as you navigate life’s joys and challenges together. They provide opportunities for communication, laughter, and mutual support. Moreover, they create a sense of unity and shared purpose.

    Standing by Each Other in Challenges and Triumphs

    Mutual support is a cornerstone of emotional intimacy in a Christian marriage. It involves spouses being each other’s steadfast allies, not only during challenging times but also in moments of triumph. Spouses should be a source of encouragement and strength for one another, whether facing difficulties or celebrating achievements.

    It also means sharing the burdens of life and working together to overcome challenges. By being emotionally available and providing unwavering support, spouses can deepen their emotional intimacy, reflecting the love and compassion exemplified by Christ.

    Scriptural Guidance

    Scriptural guidance is an essential component of emotional intimacy in a Christian marriage. Couples can turn to scripture for guidance on how to love, forgive, and communicate effectively. 

    Incorporating scriptural guidance into daily life and decision-making can help couples navigate challenges and triumphs while deepening their emotional connection. It reinforces the idea that a Christian marriage is not solely a human endeavor but a partnership guided by God’s Word.

    Photo Credit: ©GettyImages/monkeybusinessimages

    Emmanuel Abimbola is a creative freelance writer, blogger, and web designer. He is a devout Christian with an uncompromising faith who hails from Ondo State in Nigeria, West Africa. As a lover of kids, Emmanuel runs a small elementary school in Arigidi, Nigeria.

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  • Love and Respect: Two Roads to a Successful Marriage

    Love and Respect: Two Roads to a Successful Marriage

    The foundation of marriage is built upon the principles of love and respect, as depicted in Ephesians 5:33: “Nevertheless, let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself, and let the wife see that she reverences her husband.”

    In its purest form, genuine love mirrors Christ’s love for the Church. It’s sacrificial, unconditional, and selfless. Husbands are called to love their wives in this manner, cherishing and caring for them just as Christ cares for His Church. It means putting the needs and desires of your spouse above your own, supporting and nurturing their spiritual and emotional growth.

    Respect, on the other hand, is a deep appreciation for the role and authority that God has placed within the husband. It’s recognizing the leadership and decision-making responsibilities bestowed upon him. This respect isn’t blind obedience but rather an acknowledgment of his position as the head of the household, akin to how we respect God’s authority in our lives.

    The intertwining of love and respect in marriage is essential. When a husband loves his wife with the same love Christ has for the Church, he fosters an environment of trust and security. The wife, in return, responds with respect, which further strengthens the marital bond. It creates a harmonious cycle where love begets respect, and respect reinforces love.

    Genuine Mutual Love: The Cornerstone of a Godly Marriage 

    Love is undeniably the cornerstone of a godly marriage, and at its core lies the concept of agape love. This selfless, unconditional love is profoundly inspired by God’s example, as beautifully depicted in 1 Corinthians 13:4-7: “Love is patient; love is kind, it does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking; it is not easily angered; and it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices in the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, and always perseveres.”

    For a marriage to flourish, both parties must have a genuine love for one another, and this love must be mutual, not one-sided. In this sense, love must be patient. It is the kind of love that perseveres through trials and tribulations, enduring the storms of life with unwavering faith. 

    In a marriage, patience means not giving up on your spouse, even when faced with challenges or disagreements. It’s about understanding that growth and change take time, and genuine love remains steadfast through it all.

    Genuine love is also kind. It makes you gentle and compassionate toward your spouse, always seeking their well-being. It goes beyond mere politeness; it’s about actively showing kindness and consideration in both words and actions. Kindness in marriage fosters an atmosphere of warmth and acceptance where spouses feel valued and cherished.

    Also, true love does not envy or boast, and it is not proud. It promotes humility and contentment within the marriage. Instead of comparing your relationship to others or seeking recognition, true love encourages couples to find joy and fulfillment in the unique bond they share. It’s about appreciating what you have without arrogance or jealousy.

    Crucially, genuine love is not self-seeking. It’s a love that prioritizes the needs and desires of your spouse over your own. It’s about selflessness and putting their well-being above all else. In a godly marriage, this type of love leads to sacrificial acts of service, where each partner strives to make life better for the other.

    Genuine love keeps no record of wrongs. It’s about forgiving and letting go of past mistakes and grievances. This is essential for fostering a climate of forgiveness and reconciliation in marriages. It’s about moving forward together, unburdened by the weight of past transgressions.

    True love rejoices with the truth and always protects, trusts, hopes, and perseveres. This is a kind of love that seeks honesty and transparency in communication, builds trust through reliability, remains hopeful in the face of challenges, and endures through the highs and lows of life.

    Respect: Honoring the Divine Design

    Respect is not merely a passive acknowledgment but an active appreciation and esteem for your spouse’s God-given role and authority within the marriage.

    For husbands, they must love their wives unconditionally, which means showing sacrificial love, care, and support. However, it also implies recognizing and valuing the unique qualities and contributions of your wives. Husbands are also called to honor their wives by acknowledging their worth, appreciating their strengths, and actively involving them in decisions that affect the family.

    And for wives, they are required to “reverence” their husbands. This reverence is not about blind obedience but rather recognizing and respecting the leadership and responsibilities that God has placed upon husbands within the family. It’s about valuing the husband’s wisdom, guidance, and provision. This respect also involves uplifting their husbands with words of encouragement and affirmation.

    In a practical sense, respect in marriage means listening attentively to your spouse’s thoughts and opinions, even when you may have different viewpoints. It involves speaking to each other with kindness and consideration and avoiding hurtful or demeaning words. Respect also entails supporting and uplifting your spouse, both privately and publicly, rather than criticizing or undermining their efforts.

    Furthermore, respect involves recognizing the importance of teamwork within the marriage. It’s about working together, sharing responsibilities, and making decisions collaboratively while still honoring the roles and strengths that each spouse brings to the relationship. It’s acknowledging that you are life partners, each with a unique contribution to make.

    Respect in marriage is not a one-time gesture but an ongoing commitment. It’s a daily practice of valuing and cherishing your spouse, even in the midst of challenges or disagreements. It’s a reflection of the biblical principle found in Philippians 2:3, which says, “Let nothing be done through strife or vainglory, but in lowliness of mind, let each esteem others better than themselves.” This mutual esteem and respect build the foundation of a strong and Christ-centered marriage.

    Mutual Submission

    The concept of mutual submission in marriage is a profound and often misunderstood aspect of relationships. It’s important to clarify that mutual submission does not imply a one-sided or oppressive dynamic but a joint effort based on mutual respect and a desire to honor God in the marriage.

    The foundation of mutual submission can be found in Ephesians 5:21, which states, “Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God.” This verse sets the tone for the subsequent verses about the roles of husbands and wives in marriage. It emphasizes that both spouses are called to submit to one another out of reverence for God.

    In practical terms, mutual submission means that both husband and wife willingly yield to each other’s needs, desires, and viewpoints. It involves a balance between leadership and partnership in decision-making, recognizing the strengths and perspectives each spouse brings to the marriage.

    Leadership within the context of mutual submission does not equate to domination or control. Instead, it means taking responsibility for the well-being of the family and providing guidance and direction, as Christ provides for the Church. Husbands are called to lead with humility, servant-heartedness, and a deep concern for their wives’ spiritual and emotional growth.

    Partnership, on the other hand, is about working collaboratively to make decisions that affect the family. It involves open and respectful communication, where both spouses actively listen to each other’s viewpoints and seek consensus whenever possible. It also means recognizing and valuing each other’s strengths and expertise in different areas.

    One of the keys to successfully balancing leadership and partnership is communication. Spouses should openly discuss their expectations, desires, and concerns. This ensures that both husband and wife have a clear understanding of each other’s needs and can work together effectively.

    Mutual submission also means considering each other’s well-being in decision-making. It involves asking questions like, “How will this decision affect my spouse?” and “Is this in the best interest of our family as a whole?” This mindset of mutual concern and care helps guide decision-making in a way that honors both individuals and the marriage itself.

    Furthermore, it’s important to remember that mutual submission is not a zero-sum game where one spouse’s submission diminishes the other’s authority. Instead, it’s a model of mutual respect and love where both spouses willingly place each other’s needs and interests above their own.

    Synergy: Love and Respect in Harmony

    The virtuous cycle of love and respect is a powerful dynamic within a Christ-centered marriage. It’s a positive feedback loop where each partner’s love inspires respect, and in turn, that respect fuels even greater love. Let’s delve into how this cycle works.

    In a Christian marriage, love is not just a feeling; it’s a choice and an action. When one partner demonstrates love by showing care, understanding, and selflessness, it often triggers a response of respect from the other spouse. This respect is a recognition of the sacrificial love being shown and a genuine appreciation for the efforts being made to nurture the relationship.

    For instance, when a husband consistently demonstrates love by actively listening to his wife’s concerns, supporting her dreams, and valuing her opinions, she is more likely to respond with respect. She recognizes his commitment to her well-being and leadership within the marriage.

    On the flip side, when a wife shows respect by acknowledging her husband’s wisdom, supporting his decisions, and affirming his efforts, he feels honored and loved. This, in turn, motivates him to continue to love her sacrificially, creating a positive feedback loop.

    The virtuous cycle of love and respect strengthens the emotional connection between spouses. It deepens the bond and creates an atmosphere of security and trust within the marriage. Both partners feel valued, cherished, and understood, which fosters a sense of unity and harmony.

    In every moment, small or significant, let your love and respect shine as a beacon of God’s love in your marriage. By doing so, you will not only achieve a successful and fulfilling marriage but also serve as a testament to the transformative power of love and respect in the journey of faith and love.

    Photo Credit: ©GettyImages/ Prostock-Studio

    Emmanuel Abimbola is a creative freelance writer, blogger, and web designer. He is a devout Christian with an uncompromising faith who hails from Ondo State in Nigeria, West Africa. As a lover of kids, Emmanuel runs a small elementary school in Arigidi, Nigeria.

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  • Navigating In-Law Relationships with Love and Respect

    Navigating In-Law Relationships with Love and Respect

    We are required, as Christians, to honor and love not only our immediate family but also our extended family, including our in-laws.

    The Bible emphasizes the significance of familial ties, and our in-laws play a vital role in fostering a sense of belonging and unity within the larger family unit.

    Through marriage, we become connected not only to our spouses but also to their families, creating a network of relationships that should be nurtured with love, respect, and kindness.

    Moreover, the Bible emphasizes the importance of honoring one’s parents throughout various scriptures. The fifth commandment, as stated in Exodus 20:12, commands us to honor our Father and Mother, and this extends to our in-laws as they become part of our extended family. Honoring our in-laws involves showing them respect, love, and appreciation for the role they played in shaping and raising our spouses.

    In-law relationships can also serve as an opportunity for growth in faith and character. As we interact with our in-laws, we have the chance to exercise patience, forgiveness, and humility, mirroring the example set by Jesus Christ in His interactions with others.

    By demonstrating Christ-like attributes in our relationships with our in-laws, we exemplify the power of God’s love and grace. A strong in-law relationship contributes to the overall health and stability of the family unit. 

    When we build bridges of love and understanding with our in-laws, we create a supportive network for our spouses and children. Proverbs 17:17 speaks of a friend loving at all times, and in-laws can become cherished friends and confidants, offering counsel and support during challenging times.

    Additionally, nurturing positive in-law relationships promotes a sense of unity and harmony within the extended family. Instead of being divided by conflicting loyalties, we can strive to work together as a cohesive unit, celebrating each other’s successes and providing mutual support during difficult times. Philippians 2:2 says, “Fulfil ye my joy, that ye be likeminded, having the same love, being of one accord, of one mind.”

    Prioritizing Your Spouse

    One of the fundamental pillars of establishing a strong and harmonious in-law relationship is prioritizing your spouse. When two individuals enter into the sacred covenant of marriage, they commit to becoming one flesh, forming a union that takes precedence over all other relationships, including those with their respective families. 

    By prioritizing your spouse, you demonstrate the depth of your commitment and love, fostering a sense of security and trust within the marriage. In dealing with your in-laws, it is crucial to present a united front to avoid any potential conflicts or misunderstandings.

    When conflicts or disagreements arise with your in-laws, turning to your spouse for support and guidance allows for a shared decision-making process, reinforcing the idea that you and your spouse are a team. Your in-laws will likely respect and appreciate the unity you display, as it communicates a sense of stability and commitment within your marriage.

    Setting Boundaries with Love and Understanding

    While it is essential to embrace a Christ-like attitude of love and understanding towards your in-laws, setting boundaries is equally crucial to maintaining a healthy and respectful in-law relationship. Boundaries serve as a framework to protect your marriage and maintain a balance between familial obligations and the priorities of your immediate family.

    Communicate your boundaries to your in-laws with love and respect, expressing appreciation for their role in your spouse’s life while asserting the need for certain limits. Setting boundaries is not about pushing your in-laws away but rather ensuring that the unique dynamics of your marriage are safeguarded.

    Dealing with Difficult In-Laws

    Dealing with overbearing in-laws can be a delicate task, but it is essential to approach these situations with grace, empathy, and a Christ-like attitude. This involves dealing with the complexities of different personalities and backgrounds within the extended family, addressing difficult or controlling in-laws with love, and resolving conflicts and misunderstandings in a manner that reflects the teachings of Christ.

    Recognizing different personalities and backgrounds

    When dealing with overbearing in-laws, it is crucial to acknowledge and respect the diverse personalities and backgrounds each family member brings to the table. Don’t forget that each individual is shaped by their upbringing, experiences, and beliefs, which can lead to varying perspectives and approaches to family dynamics. Proverbs 18:15 encourages us to seek understanding, recognizing that different viewpoints can enrich our interactions and lead to growth.

    By understanding and empathizing with the uniqueness of our in-laws, we can develop patience and tolerance when faced with challenging situations. It is important not to make hasty judgments or assumptions about their behavior but to seek common ground and strive for understanding.

    Handling overbearing or controlling in-laws with grace

    Dealing with overbearing or controlling in-laws requires a delicate balance between asserting healthy boundaries while demonstrating love and respect. Ephesians 4:2 encourages us to exhibit humility, meekness, and longsuffering in our relationships, even when faced with challenging personalities.

    In these situations, it is essential to communicate assertively but kindly, expressing your feelings and needs in a manner that does not escalate tensions. Remember that their behavior may be rooted in their desire to be involved or to protect their loved ones. 

    Offering reassurance that you value their input while setting appropriate boundaries can create a more positive and understanding atmosphere.

    Approaching conversations with grace rather than confrontation allows for more productive and empathetic communication. It is crucial to remember that as Christians, we must love even those who are difficult to love (Matthew 5:44), and this principle extends to our interactions with in-laws.

    Addressing conflicts and misunderstandings in a Christ-like manner

    Conflicts and misunderstandings are inevitable in any relationship with in-laws, but addressing them in a Christ-like manner can foster reconciliation and healing.

    Firstly, approach the situation privately and respectfully, seeking to understand their perspective while expressing your feelings and concerns. Avoid being accusatory or defensive, and instead, focus on finding common ground and potential solutions.

    Secondly, if a resolution is not reached in private, consider involving a neutral third party, such as a pastor or counselor, to mediate the conversation. This step can provide an unbiased perspective and facilitate open communication.

    Lastly, be willing to forgive and show grace towards them. Reconciliation may take time, but by demonstrating a Christ-like attitude of forgiveness and understanding, you create space for healing and restoration.

    Extending Love and Grace

    Extending love and grace towards our in-laws is also vital to building and maintaining healthy and harmonious relationships within our in-laws. It involves showing empathy and understanding toward their perspectives, demonstrating kindness and appreciation, and embracing forgiveness as a cornerstone of our interactions.

    Empathy is the ability to put ourselves in someone else’s shoes, seeking to understand their feelings, experiences, and points of view. When it comes to our in-laws, this quality becomes even more crucial. 

    By listening to our in-laws’ perspectives without judgment, we create a space for open and honest communication. This, in turn, encourages a deeper connection and promotes mutual respect and understanding. Even if we may not always agree with their viewpoints, showing empathy demonstrates that we value and respect their feelings and experiences.

    By showing kindness and appreciation to our spouse’s family, we create an atmosphere of warmth and acceptance. These gestures communicate that we value our in-laws as individuals and cherish the role they play in our lives and the lives of our spouses. These actions also set a positive example for future generations, fostering a legacy of love and grace within the family.

    Being a Light to Your In-Laws

    Being a light to your in-laws is an opportunity to demonstrate godliness through your actions, interactions, and attitudes toward the family. It involves living out your Christly values as a testimony to your in-laws, being a source of support, encouragement, and love to them, and reflecting Christ’s love in all your interactions.

    As Christians, our lives should reflect the teachings of Christ and the transformation that His love brings. Titus 2:7-8 encourages us to show integrity, gravity, and sincerity, setting an example for others to emulate. By doing so, we become a living testimony to our in-laws, showcasing the power of God’s love and grace in our lives.

    Show genuine care and concern for your in-laws’ well-being by offering support during challenging times and celebrating their successes and joys. Encourage and uplift them through words of affirmation and acts of kindness, building an atmosphere of love and positivity within the family. Doing this creates a sense of belonging, unity, and a space where all family members feel valued and cared for.

    Photo Credit: ©GettyImages/monkeybusinessimages

    Emmanuel Abimbola is a creative freelance writer, blogger, and web designer. He is a devout Christian with an uncompromising faith who hails from Ondo State in Nigeria, West Africa. As a lover of kids, Emmanuel runs a small elementary school in Arigidi, Nigeria.

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  • Honoring and Respecting Each Other’s Differences as Christian Couples

    Honoring and Respecting Each Other’s Differences as Christian Couples

    As Christian couples, let us remember that by honoring and respecting each other’s differences, we embody the beautiful diversity that God has woven into His creation. 

    Just as harmonious melodies arise from distinct notes, our unity flourishes when we embrace and celebrate the unique gifts, perspectives, and personalities that each of us brings to the relationship.

    The Significance of Honoring and Respecting Differences

    Honoring and respecting differences in a Christ-centered relationship cannot be overstated, as it lies at the core of a healthy and thriving partnership. When two individuals come together in love and commitment, they inevitably bring their distinct backgrounds, experiences, personalities, and beliefs.

    Rather than viewing these differences as sources of division or conflict, it’s best to honor and respect them.

    In honoring differences, we acknowledge the uniqueness of our spouses and recognize the inherent value they bring to the relationship. It is a way to affirm their identity and worth as a child of God, fearfully and wonderfully made. 

    Embracing these differences with an open heart and mind allows us to learn and grow, broadening our perspectives and enriching our lives. Just as God fashioned each individual with specific gifts and traits, honoring these differences reflects our trust in His divine design.

    Respecting our spouse’s differences is also an active practice of demonstrating love and humility. It involves valuing the opinions and preferences of our partner, even when they differ from ours. This mutual respect creates an atmosphere of trust and safety within the relationship where both partners feel heard, understood, and accepted. 

    By respecting each other’s boundaries and choices, we lay the foundation for healthy communication and emotional intimacy.

    Embracing Individuality

    Embracing individuality within a Christian relationship is not merely an option but an essential aspect of nurturing a strong and meaningful bond. It involves celebrating the unique personalities and traits that make each partner distinct and special. 

    Rather than seeking to mold our partners into a predefined image, we cherish their individuality and appreciate the qualities that set them apart. Romans 12:6-8 reminds us that we have different gifts according to the grace given to each of us. By embracing individuality, we recognize that God has bestowed unique qualities and strengths on each person for a purpose.

    Recognizing diverse spiritual gifts is an integral part of embracing individuality. In 1 Corinthians 12:4-6, we are reminded that “there are diversities of gifts, but the same Spirit. There are differences in administrations, but the same Lord. And there are diversities of operations, but it is the same God which worketh all in all.” 

    When we honor and appreciate our partner’s divine gifts, we contribute to their spiritual growth and enable them to fulfill their God-given purpose. Embracing these diverse spiritual gifts also strengthens the unity and effectiveness of the Christian relationship as each partner brings their unique contributions to the table.

    It is essential to approach individuality with an attitude of love and patience. Just as God embraces and loves each of His children uniquely, we are called to extend the same grace to our partners. This includes giving space for personal growth, allowing room for change and transformation, and being patient during times of challenges or conflicts.

    Communication and Active Listening

    Communication and active listening are vital cornerstones of a healthy and thriving Christian relationship. They serve as the lifeblood that sustains emotional intimacy, trust, and mutual understanding between partners.

    Open and honest communication forms the bedrock of any successful relationship. Ephesians 4:15 advises us to speak the truth in love, emphasizing the importance of being transparent and genuine with our thoughts and feelings. 

    By expressing ourselves openly, we foster trust and vulnerability, allowing our partners to understand our needs, desires, and concerns. This openness paves the way for effective problem-solving and decision-making, enabling both partners to work harmoniously towards common goals.

    Active listening is essential to communication, as it demonstrates respect and genuine interest in what our partner has to say. James 1:19 encourages us to be swift to hear, slow to speak, and slow to wrath, emphasizing the value of attentively listening before responding. 

    When we engage in active listening, we give our partners space to share their thoughts and emotions without interruption or judgment. This act of empathetic listening conveys that we value and cherish their perspectives, feelings, and experiences, strengthening the emotional bond between us.

    Managing Interests and Hobbies

    Exploring interests and hobbies in a Christian relationship requires a delicate balance that fosters individuality and togetherness. Each partner brings their own unique passions and pursuits, which, when appreciated and supported, can enrich the relationship and promote personal growth.

    Encouraging individual pursuits and passions is a fundamental aspect of a healthy partnership. As Ecclesiastes 9:10 advises, “Whatsoever thy hand findeth to do, do it with thy might.” Embracing our partner’s interests demonstrates our respect for their autonomy and affirms their value as distinct individuals with unique gifts. 

    Encouragement and support for our spouse in pursuing their desired hobbies, professional goals, or personal interests allow them to flourish, which in turn leads to a more fulfilling and confident relationship. 

    Also, while shared hobbies are crucial, it is equally important to strike a balance between spending time together and apart. Each spouse needs time for personal reflection, relaxation, and solitude. 

    Acknowledging and respecting the need for individual time allows us to recharge and bring a refreshed spirit to the relationship. It is vital to communicate openly about personal boundaries and the need for space, ensuring that both partners feel comfortable and secure in the relationship.

    Dealing with Financial Differences

    Financial harmony in a Christian relationship is not just about money management but also about aligning our hearts and minds in matters of finance. It involves approaching your financial differences with understanding and empathy, creating a shared budget and financial plan, and agreeing on common financial goals.

    I must add that approaching financial differences with understanding is crucial because each partner may have different financial habits, attitudes, and experiences. Proverbs 2:2-3 urges us to “incline thine ear unto wisdom, and apply thine heart to understanding.” By seeking to understand our partner’s perspective and financial background, we can handle potential financial conflicts with grace and compassion. This understanding also helps us build a solid foundation of trust and open communication regarding financial matters, fostering a sense of unity and teamwork in handling finances.

    Creating a budget and financial plan together is a practical step toward financial harmony. By diligently planning and budgeting, we ensure that financial resources are utilized wisely and align with our shared values and priorities. 

    Working together on a budget encourages transparency, accountability, and a sense of shared responsibility in managing finances. It also allows us to set aside funds for saving, giving, and future goals, cultivating a sense of financial security and peace.

    Amos 3:3 asks, “Can two walk together except they are agreed?” When partners are in agreement about financial objectives, they can support and motivate each other in achieving these goals. Whether it’s saving for a major purchase, investing in education, or contributing to charitable causes, having shared financial goals unites partners in a common purpose, deepening their emotional bond and commitment.

    The Takeaway

    In essence, embracing and honoring each other’s differences is the cornerstone of a thriving marriage. Through open communication, celebrating individuality, managing shared interests, and achieving financial harmony, we create unity, understanding, and love. As we journey together, let us remember the words of Romans 12:10: “Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves.” In doing so, we reflect the beauty of God’s diverse creation and cultivate a lasting, Christ-centered bond that stands as a testament to His grace.

    In the end, our ability to handle the complexities of our relationship while cherishing the uniqueness of our partner lies at the heart of a harmonious Christian union. Let us move forward with a shared commitment to respect, honor, and celebrate the beautiful diversity that makes our bond special. Let us remember the words of Corinthians 13:4-7: “Love is patient; love is kind. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, and always perseveres.” By living out these truths, we create a relationship that flourishes in the light of God’s love and grace.

    Photo Credit: ©Getty Images/Goran13

    Emmanuel Abimbola is a creative freelance writer, blogger, and web designer. He is a devout Christian with an uncompromising faith who hails from Ondo State in Nigeria, West Africa. As a lover of kids, Emmanuel runs a small elementary school in Arigidi, Nigeria.

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  • Preparing Your Child for Christian Dating

    Preparing Your Child for Christian Dating

    Guided by God’s love and wisdom, as Christian parents, we sow the seeds of faith, purity, and discernment in our adult children’s hearts, preparing them to embrace the beauty of dating life as a sacred journey where Christ remains at the center of every step, every decision, and every destined union.

    As our children grow older, they begin to step into the exciting world of relationships, and as faithful parents, we want to equip them with the best guidance possible. In this crazy modern dating scene, it’s easy for our kids to get lost amidst the distractions of the world. That’s where we come in—as their anchors, pointing them toward Christ-centered dating.

    Dating as a Christian isn’t just about finding a cute partner or having a good time (though those things can be part of it!). It’s about aligning our children’s hearts with God’s will and teaching them to seek relationships that reflect His love and grace. 

    One verse that really captures this idea is 2 Corinthians 6:14, “Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? And what communion has light with darkness?” This verse urges us to encourage our kids to seek partners who share their faith for a solid foundation rooted in Christ.

    Dealing with the Challenges of Modern Dating Culture

    It’s no secret that the world has taken dating and relationships to a whole new level. With the rise of technology and social media, our kids are exposed to a myriad of influences and expectations that can be overwhelming.

    One of the biggest hurdles we face as Christian parents is the pressure to conform to societal norms. The world promotes a “hookup culture” that encourages casual and often meaningless relationships. But as believers, we know that God’s plan for relationships is so much more profound and purposeful.

    In 1 John 2:15-16, we’re reminded, “Love not the world, nor the things that are in the world. If any man loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For all that is in the world—the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life is not of the Father, but is of the world.” As we guide our children through the maze of modern dating, we must teach them to guard their hearts against worldly desires and stay rooted in Christ’s love.

    The prevalence of online dating and dating apps adds another layer of complexity. While technology can be a tool for connection, it can also lead to superficial and sometimes unsafe encounters. As parents, we should encourage our children to be cautious and discerning when using these platforms, always remembering to seek God’s guidance.

    Also, there’s the challenge of premarital intimacy. The world often views physical relationships as casual and unattached, but God’s design is for intimacy to be reserved for marriage. 1 Corinthians 6:18 tells us, “Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body, but he that commits fornication sinneth against his own body.” We must have open conversations with our children about the importance of purity and the long-term consequences of disregarding God’s plan.

    Laying the Foundation: Instilling Christian Values

    Laying the foundation for our children’s dating journey starts with instilling godly values that will guide them throughout life. As parents, we play a vital role in shaping their understanding of relationships and dating, and one of the key aspects is establishing open communication.

    We must create an environment where our children feel comfortable discussing their thoughts, questions, and concerns about relationships. By keeping the lines of communication open, we can listen to their perspectives, address their doubts, and offer guidance without judgment. So, let’s be patient listeners and approachable confidants, ensuring that they know they can rely on us for honest and understanding conversations.

    We should regularly share with our children the biblical principles of love, purity, and respect found in passages like Ephesians 5:25, “Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church and gave himself for it,” which exemplifies the selfless and sacrificial love that should characterize relationships. Additionally, passages like 1 Timothy 4:12 teach them to “be thou an example of the believers, in word, in conversation, in charity, in spirit, in faith, in purity,” emphasizing the importance of purity and godly conduct in relationships. By grounding our teachings in God’s Word, we provide them with a solid framework for building healthy and God-honoring relationships.

    As our children embark on their dating journey, we want them to understand that their relationship with God is the ultimate foundation. Encouraging them to cultivate a personal walk with God through prayer, reading the Bible, and participating in fellowship helps them develop a deeper understanding of God’s will for their lives. Psalm 37:4 reminds us, “Delight thyself also in the Lord: and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart.” When they prioritize their relationship with God, their desires align with His, leading to more purposeful and fulfilling dating experiences.

    Setting Standards and Boundaries

    As parents guiding our children through the intricacies of dating life, setting clear boundaries based on biblical principles is paramount. We must not shy away from discussing the importance of upholding God’s standards in their relationships. Proverbs 22:28 states, “Remove not the ancient landmark, which thy fathers have set,” reminding us to uphold the timeless values found in God’s Word as our foundation.

    Defining dating boundaries begins with discussing the purpose of dating itself. It’s not merely a casual pastime but a journey with the potential for marriage in mind. By encouraging our children to approach dating with a purposeful mindset, they can navigate relationships more responsibly and intentionally.

    We must teach our children to honor God by reserving physical intimacy for marriage and guarding their hearts and bodies against impurity.

    As parents, we play a pivotal role in modeling healthy relationships for our children. Our own marriage serves as a powerful example of love, respect, and commitment. 

    Our actions and words should align with the biblical principles we teach. By demonstrating humility, forgiveness, and grace in our interactions with each other, we show our children the true essence of a Christ-centered relationship. They learn how to handle conflicts, extend forgiveness, and prioritize the well-being of their partners.

    Discernment in Dating: Encouraging Wise Choices

    When it comes to dating, one of the most critical aspects we can teach our children is discernment—the ability to see beyond the surface and evaluate the true character of a potential partner. Proverbs 31:30 reminds us, “Favor is deceitful, and beauty is vain; but a woman that feareth the LORD, she shall be praised.” Our children need to recognize that appearances can be deceiving and that true beauty lies in a heart that fears the Lord and embodies godly virtues.

    By emphasizing the importance of character over appearance, we equip our children to look for qualities such as kindness, humility, honesty, and integrity in a partner. Proverbs 11:22 advises, “As a jewel of gold in a swine’s snout, so is a fair woman which is without discretion.” We want them to see the value of inner beauty and the importance of a partner who exemplifies godly wisdom and discretion.

    Encouraging our children to seek partners with strong character can protect them from falling into superficial and potentially harmful relationships. Proverbs 22:24-25 cautions, “Make no friendship with an angry man; and with a furious man thou shalt not go: Lest thou learn his ways and get a snare to thy soul.” By teaching discernment, we empower our children to make wise choices in their dating lives, leading to more fulfilling and meaningful connections.

    Also, as Christian parents, we know the significance of shared faith and spiritual compatibility in a relationship. 2 Corinthians 6:14 reminds us, “Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?” Encouraging our children to seek partners who share their faith ensures a strong foundation for a Christ-centered relationship.

    We must explain that shared faith goes beyond attending the same church or having similar religious backgrounds. It involves having a deep and genuine relationship with God with shared values and a common commitment to following His Word. Amos 3:3 asks, “Can two walk together unless they are agreed upon?” By prioritizing shared faith, our children can avoid the potential conflicts and struggles that arise when values and beliefs don’t align.

    In a world where secular influences may challenge their convictions, our children need to understand the importance of spiritual compatibility. Proverbs 27:17 encourages, “Iron sharpeneth iron; so a man sharpeneth the countenance of his friend.” When two individuals grow together in their faith, they can strengthen and support each other in their spiritual journey, deepening their bond with God and each other.

    Encouraging Patience and Trust in God’s Timing

    It is essential to encourage our children to exercise patience and trust in God’s perfect timing for their love lives. As Christian parents, we understand the significance of their surrendering their desires to God and embracing His plan for their romantic relationships.

    Proverbs 3:5-6 implores us, “Trust in the Lord with all thine heart and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.” As parents, we must consistently remind our children to place their trust in God’s unfailing wisdom and sovereign plan for their love lives. Encouraging them to surrender their desires and fears to God allows them to release the burden of finding a partner on their own and instead rely on His guidance.

    By trusting in God’s plan, our children can find comfort in knowing that He has a beautiful story unfolding for them, one that surpasses anything they could have planned for themselves. Reminding them of God’s faithfulness in the past and how He has guided their journey so far can strengthen their faith and resolve to patiently wait on His perfect timing.

    Our children’s dating lives, when guided by God’s Word and empowered by prayer, become a beautiful dance orchestrated by the Creator Himself. Let’s equip them with the tools they need, offering support, wisdom, and love as they prepare for a Christ-centered marriage that glorifies God and blesses their lives.

    Photo Credit: ©Getty Images/Motortion

    Emmanuel Abimbola is a creative freelance writer, blogger, and web designer. He is a devout Christian with an uncompromising faith who hails from Ondo State in Nigeria, West Africa. As a lover of kids, Emmanuel runs a small elementary school in Arigidi, Nigeria.

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  • Building Friendships Rooted in Faith

    Building Friendships Rooted in Faith

    For in the realm of godly friendships, hearts are united by a common devotion to the Almighty, fostering love, accountability, and mutual support so that together, you may withstand the trials of life and shine as beacons of divine fellowship.

    It is essential for us, as followers of Christ, to cultivate friendships that are deeply rooted in faith. Faith-based friendships are more than just casual acquaintances or mere social connections. They go beyond shared interests or similar backgrounds. These friendships are grounded in a shared belief in the power of God’s love, the teachings of Jesus Christ, and the evidence of the Holy Spirit in our lives. In the book of Proverbs 27:17, it is written, 

    “As iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend.”(NLT) 

    Christ-based friendships provide an environment where we can grow and mature spiritually. They offer opportunities for mutual encouragement, accountability, and the gentle challenge to become more Christlike in our attitudes, words, and actions. Faith is the bedrock of these relationships, giving them a firm foundation. This shared faith becomes the glue that binds us together, creating a bond that transcends worldly concerns and temporal interests. In the book of Ecclesiastes 4:9–10, it is written, 

    “ Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed.  If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble.” 

    Godly friendships provide a support system rooted in the love of Christ. In times of joy, these friends celebrate with you; in times of sorrow, they walk alongside us, offering comfort and solace. They uplift us when we stumble and help us find our footing when we are lost.

    The importance of Godliness in building these meaningful relationships cannot be overstated. It instills in us a sense of purpose and direction. It shapes our values, attitudes, and perspectives, providing a shared framework for understanding the world and our place in it. When friendships are rooted in faith, we find ourselves united by a common vision and a shared commitment to living out our faith in tangible ways.

    Christians are called to be ambassadors of Christ’s love, grace, and truth. Faith-based friendships offer us a platform to manifest these qualities in our relationships. By nurturing these friendships, we create spaces where genuine love, compassion, forgiveness, and understanding can flourish. We become conduits of God’s love, reaching out to others and reflecting His goodness in our interactions.

    What Godly Friendships Entail

    As Christians, we are called to surround ourselves with friends who reflect Christ’s love and embody the principles of the Word of God. Let us delve into the critical aspects of these Godly friendships and discover the blessings they bring.

    Shared beliefs and values as the foundation:  In the book of Amos 3:3, it is written, “Can two people walk together without agreeing on the direction?” (NLT) Godly friendships are built on a solid foundation of shared beliefs and values. When we find friends who are united with us in faith, who share a similar understanding of Scripture, and who strive to live according to God’s Word, we experience a deep bond that strengthens and encourages us. These shared beliefs and values provide a framework for mutual trust, integrity, and accountability in our friendship.

    Godly friendships involve companionship with individuals who share our passions, dreams, and aspirations. When we have friends who share our purpose of glorifying God in all areas of life, we can spur one another on toward righteousness and strive together to fulfill God’s calling on our lives. In Romans 12:15, we are exhorted to: 

    “Be happy with those who are happy, and weep with those who weep.”(NLT) 

    Godly friendships provide a safe and supportive environment where we can share our joys and sorrows without fear of judgment or rejection. These friendships offer understanding and empathy, allowing us to be vulnerable and authentic with one another. They provide shoulders to lean on, ears to listen to, and hearts to care for. Our friends cheer us on in times of celebration, and in times of distress, they offer comfort, encouragement, and prayers. Hebrews 10:24 encourages us to 

    “Let us think of ways to motivate one another to acts of love and good works.” NLT 

    Godly friendships play a crucial role in our spiritual growth. They provide opportunities for mutual edification where we can share insights, testimonies, and experiences that inspire and challenge one another in our walk with Christ. These friendships help us grow in wisdom, knowledge, and understanding of God’s Word as we discuss and study together, holding each other accountable for living out the teachings of Christ. 1 Peter 4:8 reminds us, 

    “Most important of all, continue to show deep love for each other, for love covers a multitude of sins.” NLT

    A godly friendship is marked by a deep, sacrificial love that reflects the love of Christ. In these friendships, we extend grace, forgive one another, and offer second chances. We recognize that we are all imperfect and in need of God’s mercy. 

    Building Godly Friendships

    Regularly attending religious services opens doors for us to connect with fellow believers. By participating in worship and hearing the Word of God together, we create a sense of unity and shared purpose. Within these gatherings, we can meet like-minded individuals who share our devotion to God and desire to grow in faith. Therefore, we must seize opportunities to engage in conversations, extend warm greetings, and express genuine interest in others. By doing so, we pave the way for meaningful connections and potential godly friendships.

    Small groups or study circles of believers offer an intimate setting for deeper connections. These gatherings often focus on specific topics or areas of interest, such as Bible studies, prayer groups, or discipleship programs. By actively participating in these groups, we engage in conversations centered around our faith, share personal insights, and learn from one another’s experiences. Such groups provide a supportive environment where friendships can flourish as we journey together in spiritual growth.

    Deepening Faith-Based Friendships

    Consistent communication is vital for deepening faith-based friendships. Regularly engaging in meaningful conversations through phone calls, texts, video chats, or in-person meetings helps maintain a strong bond. We should strive to discuss our spiritual journeys, share insights from Scripture, and encourage one another in our walk with Christ. By prioritizing communication, we foster trust, understanding, and vulnerability within our circle of friends.

    In addition to consistent communication, regular check-ins and reflection enhance the depth of our faith-based friendships. Taking time to ask meaningful questions, such as “How is your spiritual life?” or “What has God been teaching you lately?” demonstrates our genuine interest in one another’s spiritual well-being. It also allows us to reflect on our spiritual growth, encouraging accountability and inspiring each other to seek a deeper relationship with God.

    Prayer is a powerful tool for strengthening faith-based friendships. Therefore, setting aside time to pray together, whether in person or virtually, enables us to lift one another in prayer, share burdens, and intercede on behalf of each other’s needs. Also, sharing spiritual practices, such as devotional readings, Bible studies, or worship sessions, allows us to grow closer to God and each other, fostering a deeper spiritual connection among our friends.

    Believers’ retreats and workshops offer valuable opportunities to deepen faith-based friendships. These events provide dedicated time for reflection, worship, and learning in a communal setting. By attending such gatherings together, we create shared experiences, gain fresh insights, and encourage one another in our spiritual journeys. The retreat or workshop environment fosters a deeper level of connection and provides a space for renewal, divine encounters, and transformation.

    Serving others together also strengthens the fabric of our faith-based friendships. Engaging in service projects within our faith communities or the broader community allows us to live out our faith in action. We embody Christ’s love and compassion by working side by side to help those in need. These shared experiences deepen our friendships and create lasting memories of serving together for the sake of God’s kingdom.

    May the Holy Spirit guide us as we deepen our faith-based friendships, bringing glory to God and drawing us closer to one another in love and faith.

    Photo Credit: ©Getty Images/JasonDoiy

    Emmanuel Abimbola is a creative freelance writer, blogger, and web designer. He is a devout Christian with an uncompromising faith who hails from Ondo State in Nigeria, West Africa. As a lover of kids, Emmanuel runs a small elementary school in Arigidi, Nigeria.

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  • Strengthening Your Marriage through Shared Spiritual Practices

    Strengthening Your Marriage through Shared Spiritual Practices

    Spirituality plays a vital role in marriage, providing a strong foundation for the relationship and deepening the connection between spouses.

    One of the fundamental aspects of spirituality in marriage is the shared pursuit of a deeper relationship with God. Ecclesiastes 4:12 says, “And if one prevails against him, two shall withstand him, and a threefold cord is not quickly broken.” When both spouses actively seek God and align their lives with His principles, they create a strong bond that can withstand the challenges and storms that may arise in their marriage. Shared spirituality encourages mutual support, encouragement, and accountability as both partners grow in their faith journey.

    Engaging in shared spiritual practices, such as prayer and worship, enriches the marital bond. Matthew 18:20 says, “For where two or three are gathered together in my name, there am I in the midst of them.” Praying together as a couple allows you to invite God into your marriage, seeking His guidance, strength, and blessings. It fosters unity and intimacy as you share your hopes, dreams, and concerns with each other and with God. Likewise, participating in worship together, whether it be attending church services or engaging in devotional activities, strengthens the spiritual connection between spouses and deepens their sense of belonging to a larger faith community.

    The Power of Effective Communication 

    Effective communication is essential in expressing one’s thoughts, feelings, and experiences related to faith. Ephesians 4:29 says, “Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers.” By communicating in a loving and uplifting manner, spouses can encourage and inspire each other in their spiritual growth. They can openly share their prayers, reflections, and insights, creating a safe space where their faith journeys can flourish.

    For effective communication in shared spiritual practices, couples must be mindful of potential barriers that can hinder their connection. James 1:19 reminds us, “Wherefore, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath.” It is crucial to be attentive listeners, allowing each other free expression without interruption or judgment. Couples should also be aware of their emotions and avoid responding in anger or defensiveness, fostering an atmosphere of understanding and empathy.

    Active listening is another crucial aspect of effective communication. Proverbs 18:13 reminds us, “He that answereth a matter before he heareth it, it is folly and shame unto him.” By actively listening to one another, couples demonstrate respect and validation for their partner’s thoughts and experiences. They can ask open-ended questions, seek clarification, and reflect on what was shared, ensuring a deeper understanding and fostering a sense of connection.

    Using words of encouragement and affirmation uplifts the spiritual journey of both partners. Proverbs 16:24 says, “Pleasant words are as an honeycomb, sweet to the soul, and health to the bones.” By expressing appreciation, acknowledging growth, and affirming each other’s faith, couples can strengthen their spiritual bond and create an atmosphere of love and support.

    Identifying Spirituality in Your Marriage

    Self-reflection begins with examining your own beliefs, values, and practices. Psalm 119:59 reminds us, “I thought on my ways, and turned my feet unto thy testimonies.” By taking the time to reflect on your spiritual journey and the role of faith in your life, you can gain insight into how it influences your marriage. Ask yourself questions about your personal relationship with God, your prayer life, and your engagement with Scripture, allowing you to understand your own spirituality more deeply.

    Observing the dynamics of your marriage and evaluating how spirituality manifests are additional aspects of introspection. Galatians 5:22-23 reminds us of the fruits of the Spirit: “love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, temperance.” Ponder how these fruits of the Spirit are present in your interactions with your spouse, examining whether your marriage reflects the love, joy, and peace of a shared spiritual foundation.

    Engage in regular times of solitude to seek God’s guidance and wisdom, allowing His Word to illuminate your path and reveal areas where spirituality can be strengthened within your marriage.

    Incorporating Spiritual Activities into Your Daily Life

    Starting the day with prayer, meditation, or reading Scripture sets the tone for the entire day and allows us to align our hearts and minds with God’s presence. Setting aside dedicated time each day, even if it is just a few minutes, demonstrates our commitment to deepening our spiritual relationship as a couple.

    Consistency in spiritual practices is also vital to developing a firm foundation of faith. By consistently engaging in spiritual practices, we create a rhythm that nurtures our connection with God. It becomes a daily reminder of His presence in our lives and helps us cultivate spiritual discipline in our homes.

    For spiritual practices to become a habit, it is essential to prioritize and create a conducive environment. Prioritizing God in our lives means intentionally carving out time for Him amidst the busyness of our schedules. It may require adjustments to our routines or boundaries with other activities to make room for spiritual practices.

    Creating a sacred space can also enhance our spiritual activities. Mark 1:35 reveals that Jesus often found a solitary place to pray. Designating a specific area in our homes or finding a quiet place outdoors can help us enter into a mindset of reverence and focus during our spiritual practices. By eliminating distractions and creating an atmosphere of peace and tranquility, a couple can fully engage with God.

    Strengthening Emotional Connection through Shared Spiritual Practices

    Engaging in shared spiritual practices creates more profound love and compassion within the marriage. 1 Peter 4:8 says, “And above all things, have fervent charity among yourselves, for charity shall cover the multitude of sins.” By coming together in prayer, meditation, or acts of service, couples demonstrate love and care for one another and develop a shared understanding of God’s love and compassion. This shared experience of seeking God’s presence fosters a higher level of empathy and compassion toward each other’s struggles and joys.

    Engaging in shared spiritual practices also enhances trust and intimacy in the relationship. As couples engage in prayer and seek God’s guidance together, they develop a shared reliance on His wisdom and direction. This shared trust in God strengthens their confidence in each other, creating a safe and secure environment for vulnerability and intimacy to flourish.

    Shared spiritual practices provide a powerful tool for relieving stress and anxiety within the marriage. By joining in prayer, couples can pour out their worries and concerns to God, finding solace, comfort, and peace. This allows them to support and uplift each other during challenging times, alleviating stress and fostering emotional well-being.

    Nurturing Your Marriage through Shared Spiritual Practices

    Engaging in shared spiritual practices fosters a sense of shared purpose within your marriage. Amos 3:3 asks, “Can two walk together except they be agreed?” By coming together in prayer, worship, or studying Scripture, you align your hearts and minds toward a common goal: growing closer to God and living out His purpose for your lives. This shared sense of purpose creates a strong foundation that unites you and gives your marriage deeper meaning.

    Shared spiritual practices also renew appreciation and gratitude for each other. Ephesians 5:20 says, “Give thanks always for all things unto God and the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.” As you engage in acts of worship and gratitude together, you develop a greater awareness of God’s blessings in your lives and an appreciation for the unique qualities and contributions of your spouse. This joint practice of gratitude fosters a spirit of thankfulness and contentment within your marriage.

    Connecting with God as a couple is a profound source of strength and unity. Ecclesiastes 4:12 states, “A threefold cord is not quickly broken.” By intertwining your hearts with God’s presence, you create a sacred bond that sustains and strengthens your marriage. Praying together, attending church services, or participating in spiritual retreats or conferences together also allows you to experience the transforming power of God’s love and grace as a couple.

    Photo Credit: ©iStock/Getty Images Plus/Prostock-Studio

    Emmanuel Abimbola is a creative freelance writer, blogger, and web designer. He is a devout Christian with an uncompromising faith who hails from Ondo State in Nigeria, West Africa. As a lover of kids, Emmanuel runs a small elementary school in Arigidi, Nigeria.

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  • Growing Together through the Journey of Marriage

    Growing Together through the Journey of Marriage

    Marriage is tremendously gratifying but obviously a tedious developmental journey. The road to developing a deep connection and mutual understanding is fraught with stumbling blocks, and achieving a careful balance between our unique needs and our partner’s objectives sometimes demands tremendous work. Throughout my personal journey in marriage, I’ve realized that accepting the concept of dependency is the key to growing together as a pair. While it is easy to concentrate simply on our individual wants, we must also acknowledge that our partner’s wants matter. Recognizing the presence of our spouse enriches our individual journeys as we lay the groundwork for a relationship based on shared development and collective resilience.

    However, when we embark on this journey, we face several obstacles that threaten to impede our progress. Communication, or rather, its absence, is often a powerful enemy of relationship growth. We bridge the gap between our emotions and heads through open and honest communication rich with empathy and active listening. When we have healthy communication with our spouse, our words, delivered with purpose and compassion, have the potential to heal wounds, clear up misconceptions, and create deep understanding. We build bridges via good communication that allows us to navigate the tumultuous waves of life hand in hand, reinforced by a deep connection.

    The quest for progress needs the fortitude to address our weaknesses and anxieties since genuine power is found in these times of vulnerability. Even though we are a couple, each carries a distinct trait of fear, past hurts, and firmly held beliefs. But we create an atmosphere for development in the relationship by building a safe place inside our union that is free of judgment and adorned with compassion. We establish a culture of acceptance, support, and development by accepting vulnerability in ourselves and our partners, which drives us forward on our shared path.

    Prayer and Worship

    Prayer and worship are pillars of strength in a Christian couple’s relationship. Prayer and worship are essential because they serve as holy channels for you and your spouse to speak with God, seek His counsel, and develop the spiritual link that connects your hearts and souls. Worship becomes the symphony that uplifts your spirits and connects your souls with God; prayer is how we communicate with Him. As a couple, you pour out your souls in prayer, exposing your joys, worries, hopes, and challenges to the One who listens with boundless compassion and understanding. Prayer becomes a hallowed area for you to seek direction, find consolation in times of adversity, and show thanks for the benefits that come your way. You align your wishes and intentions with God’s will via prayer, allowing Him to guide your choices and actions.

    Worship, similarly, creates a harmonic beat that vibrates throughout the couple’s souls, linking them to something higher than themselves. They sing praise songs in worship, their emotions overflowing with thankfulness and devotion for the love and grace given to them. When accepted as fundamental components of a Christian couple’s relationship, prayer and worship will help to build unity and spiritual connection. The couple gives testimony to one another’s goals and dreams by praying together and interceding on their behalf before the throne of grace. They receive comfort and encouragement in knowing that their partner’s prayers support and elevate them and that their emotions and needs are in God’s loving hands. Similarly, worshiping together unites their souls, enabling them to feel the transformational power of God’s presence as their voices mingle in songs of respect and wonder.

    Communication and Conflict Resolution

    Effective communication and conflict resolution are critical foundations in a Christian couple’s relationship, allowing them to traverse the ebbs and flows of their journey with grace, compassion, and understanding. As couples, we experience the transforming power of open discussion, active listening, and the direction of their religion in resolving problems and promoting deeper connection through the lessons we learn and the progress we achieve. Though communication breakdowns, misunderstandings, and opposing viewpoints threatened to tear the fabric of our relationship, our unwavering faith in Christ teaches us to approach these challenges with humility, empathy, and a genuine desire to understand one another.

    Active listening has been one of the most vital things my wife and I have learned. It’s easy to slip into the trap of merely hearing words these days rather than genuinely listening to our partner’s heart. We have chosen to open the channels of greater understanding and empathy by actively putting aside distractions, providing full attention, and attempting to absorb the emotions underlying the words said. We value each other’s points of view, validate each other’s feelings, and create an environment of trust and safety in which honest dialogue can develop.

    Grace and Forgiveness

    With its transforming power to heal hurts, bring about peace, and build the basis of love and devotion, forgiveness is crucial to the sacred tie of marriage. Colossians 3:13 urges us to 

    “Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others..” 

    Through this divine direction, we understand forgiveness is a mirror of God’s unfailing love and compassion for us rather than being based on our partner’s behavior. We follow in the footsteps of Christ, who offered His forgiveness to everyone who sought after His grace by embracing forgiveness.

    Forgiveness relieves us of the weight of sorrow, anger, and resentment that may corrupt our hearts and weaken the foundation of our bond. When we forgive, we let go of the hurt and reach out in the spirit of reconciliation, restoring, and healing to our union. We are endowed with a spirit of harmony and compassion when we learn to forgive. It makes room for development, understanding, and commitment. The road to forgiveness isn’t always smooth. It calls for vulnerability, humility, and a readiness to face our own failings and show our partner compassion. We find encouragement in Ephesians 4:32, which says, 

    “Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.”

    This heavenly guidance gives us comfort and motivation to develop a gentle and tenderhearted attitude, creating a conducive atmosphere for forgiveness. A marriage based on forgiveness, resiliency, and enduring love is possible when we embrace forgiveness because it creates a place where our past errors do not determine our present. It also allows God’s grace to thrive and have the transforming power it deserves.

    Growth and Purpose

    Christian couples journey together beyond romantic love to a shared commitment that fosters and encourages mutual development. We begin a holy effort to raise and empower one another, realizing our unique callings and desires are connected with God’s bigger purpose for our lives. Ephesians 4:16 says, 

    “ He makes the whole body fit together perfectly. As each part does its own special work, it helps the other parts grow, so that the whole body is healthy and growing and full of love..” 

    Support and encouragement for each other are essential for individual development and our joint pursuit of God’s purpose. Mutual love, support, and understanding are essential to progress, and it depends on them. Our relationship develops into a loving space where people may share their aspirations, appreciate their abilities, and find their purpose. We help one another pursue personal progress by appreciating the talents and interests that God has given each of us. We also provide a steady presence and support as we follow our particular callings. As we embark on this path of encouraging each other’s development and purpose, we are motivated by Proverbs 27:17, which says,

     “As iron sharpens iron so a friend sharpens a friend.”

    This helps us understand our union’s transformational power in developing and honing one another’s character, abilities, and spiritual journey. By pushing and supporting one another to achieve our individual potential while being led by God’s unwavering love and grace, we become each other’s growth-promoting catalyst. My wife and I encourage and support one another as Christian spouses, reminding one another of God’s promises and fostering spiritual practices and routines that feed our spirits. Together, we pray, asking for heavenly wisdom and direction. Through prayer, we are endowed with the power to overcome challenges, discernment during times of ambiguity, and a closer connection with the source of all knowledge and meaning.

    When married couples assist and encourage one another, they connect their lives with the bigger purpose and plan God has for them as they travel down this shared path together, enjoying the divine symphony of development, meaning, and love.

    Photo Credit: ©Getty Images/Vasil Dimitrov

    Emmanuel Abimbola is a creative freelance writer, blogger, and web designer. He is a devout Christian with an uncompromising faith who hails from Ondo State in Nigeria, West Africa. As a lover of kids, Emmanuel runs a small elementary school in Arigidi, Nigeria.

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  • Marriage and Mental Health: Navigating Challenges Together in Christ

    Marriage and Mental Health: Navigating Challenges Together in Christ

    Marriage is not merely a contractual agreement or a societal expectation. It is a divine covenant—a merging of two souls destined to walk together through life’s joys and trials. God created marriage to be a source of comfort, support, and friendship from the beginning. The book of Genesis 2:24 says, “Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.” This union is meant to establish a harmonic bond, a safe haven where couples may find comfort in each other’s company.

    In the realm of mental health, marriage plays a pivotal role. It has the power to nurture and uplift, providing a sense of emotional security and stability. A loving and supportive spouse can serve as a pillar of strength during times of adversity, offering a listening ear, a comforting embrace, and words of encouragement. The presence of a loving spouse can reduce stress, worry, and feelings of loneliness, creating an atmosphere that promotes excellent mental health.

    However, the problems that come with marriage can significantly influence the couple’s mental health. The complications of combining two lives, as well as different expectations and unavoidable disputes, can have a negative impact on emotional and mental health. Unresolved disagreements, a lack of efficient communication, or poor relationship dynamics can lead to emotions of irritation, anxiety, and even despair.

    Yet, even amid these challenges, marriage can be a catalyst for growth and healing. It provides an opportunity for individuals to confront their own vulnerabilities and insecurities, fostering personal development and self-awareness. As we navigate the intricacies of marriage, we are confronted with our own flaws, learning to extend grace, forgiveness, and patience toward our spouse and ourselves.

    The foundation of a healthy marriage rests upon the principles of love, respect, and mutual understanding. Ephesians 5:25 reminds us, “Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it…” Love becomes the guiding force, empowering spouses to empathize, support, and uplift one another in times of need.

    Moreover, the role of faith cannot be underestimated in the context of marriage and mental health. Placing our trust in God and surrendering our struggles to Him can bring peace, wisdom, and guidance. Philippians 4:6-7 reassures us, “Be careful for nothing; but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God.  And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.” 

    In the pursuit of sound mental health within marriage, open communication and mutual support are essential. The ability to express one’s feelings, fears, and struggles without fear of judgment or rejection cultivates an environment of trust and emotional safety. Seeking professional help, when needed, is not a sign of weakness but a proactive step towards healing and growth.

    As we continue on this journey of exploring the impact of marriage on mental health, let us remember that we are not alone. God is present, walking alongside us, providing the strength and wisdom we need. Let us strive to cultivate a marriage that promotes emotional well-being, supporting and uplifting our spouses in their journey toward wholeness.

    The Importance of Mental Health in Marriage

    Mental health encompasses our thoughts, emotions, and overall psychological well-being. It influences how we perceive ourselves, our spouse, and the world around us. It shapes our ability to cope with stress, navigate conflicts, and cultivate a loving and supportive atmosphere within the sacred bond of marriage.

    Proverbs 4:23 reminds us, “Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life.” Our mental well-being is closely intertwined with the condition of our hearts, affecting our attitudes, perceptions, and interactions within the marriage relationship.

    When spouses prioritize their mental health, they are better equipped to face the inevitable challenges that arise in marriage. The complexities of daily life, responsibilities, and external pressures can take a toll on our mental well-being. By tending to our mental health, we are nurturing the very essence of who we are, allowing us to bring our best selves into the marriage.

    When individuals neglect their mental health, it can lead to a myriad of challenges within the marriage. Unresolved emotional wounds, untreated anxiety or depression, and unchecked stress can strain the relationship, hindering effective communication and emotional connection. Couples must recognize the importance of mental health and actively work towards its preservation.

    Seeking God’s Guidance in Navigating Mental Health Challenges

    In times of distress, when our hearts are heavy and our minds are weary, we can seek God’s guidance and find comfort and wisdom in His Word.

    Prayer is a powerful tool that connects us directly to the heart of God. Amid mental health challenges within marriage, we can come together as spouses, hand in hand, and pour out our burdens, fears, and struggles before the throne of grace. We are reminded in Matthew 18:20 that “where two or three are gathered together in my name, there am I in the midst of them.” Through joint prayers, we invite God’s presence into our marriage, acknowledging our dependence on Him for strength, healing, and guidance.

    In prayer, we can express our deepest emotions, offering both gratitude and petitions. We can lay our burdens at the feet of Jesus, knowing that He cares for us (1 Peter 5:7). We can seek His wisdom and discernment, trusting that He will provide clarity amidst confusion. Together, we can intercede for one another, lifting up our spouse’s mental well-being to the One who knows and understands every need.

    The Bible, God’s Living Word, is a treasure trove of comfort, guidance, and wisdom. As we navigate mental health challenges within marriage, we can turn to the Scriptures for reassurance and strength. Psalm 119:105 says, “Thy word is a lamp unto my feet and a light unto my path.” By immersing ourselves in God’s Word, we gain perspective and insight. The Psalms, for example, express a wide range of emotions and can provide solace and encouragement in times of distress. Proverbs offers practical wisdom for navigating the complexities of life and relationships. The teachings of Jesus in the Gospels remind us of His compassion, love, and healing power.

    In the journey of navigating mental health challenges within marriage, seeking godly counsel and support from trusted individuals can be invaluable. Proverbs 11:14 reminds us, “Where no counsel is, the people fall: but in the multitude of counselors there is safety.” This may involve seeking guidance from pastors, spiritual mentors, or licensed Christian counselors who can provide biblical insights and practical tools to help us navigate the complexities of mental health challenges.

    In addition to professional guidance, being part of a community of believers can offer a sense of belonging and support (Ecclesiastes 4:9-10). By connecting with others who share our faith journey, we can find encouragement, empathy, and understanding. Support groups, prayer circles, or even engaging in open conversations with trusted friends can create a space where we can share our struggles, receive prayer, and gain perspective.

    During mental health challenges within marriage, it is essential to remember that God is sovereign and His timing is perfect. Even when we cannot fully comprehend the reasons behind our struggles, we can trust in His unfailing love and faithfulness. Romans 8:28 assures us that “all things work together for good to them that love God.” God can use our trials to shape us, strengthen our faith, and bring about beauty from ashes.

    Therefore, while seeking God’s guidance, we must exercise patience and trust in His timing. Some challenges may require ongoing perseverance and a journey of healing. In these moments, we can draw comfort from Isaiah 40:31, which promises that ” But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.” By surrendering our timeline to God and aligning our hearts with His purposes, we can find peace in knowing that He is working all things for our ultimate good.

    Supporting Each Other’s Mental Health

    Supporting each other’s mental health is an essential aspect of a thriving and God-honoring marriage. As spouses, we have the privilege and responsibility to create a safe and nurturing environment where both partners can flourish emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. 

    One of the foundational pillars of supporting each other’s mental health is open communication and active listening. Proverbs 18:13 says, “He that answereth a matter before he heareth it, it is folly and shame unto him.” By creating a space where both partners feel heard and valued, we can foster an environment where thoughts, feelings, and concerns can be openly shared without fear of judgment or rejection.

    Active listening involves more than just hearing the words spoken—it requires attentiveness, empathy, and a willingness to truly understand the other person’s perspective. It means setting aside our own preconceived notions and giving our full presence to our spouse. Through active listening, we validate their experiences and emotions, fostering a sense of emotional connection and trust.

    Supporting each other’s mental health requires a proactive approach to building a strong foundation for emotional well-being in our marriage. Here are two key areas to focus on:

    1. Prioritizing Self-Care 

    2. Prioritizing Emotional Well-being

    Caring for ourselves is not a selfish act but rather an act of stewardship of the bodies and minds God has given us. Jesus reminds us in Mark 12:31 to “love thy neighbor as thyself.” It is difficult to pour into our spouse’s mental health if we neglect our own.

    Prioritizing self-care involves engaging in activities that bring us joy, rest, and rejuvenation. It means setting healthy boundaries, managing stress, and practicing self-compassion. By taking care of ourselves, we model the importance of self-care to our spouse and create an atmosphere where both partners can thrive emotionally and mentally.

    Our relationship with God also serves as the cornerstone of our emotional and mental well-being. Psalm 62:8 encourages us to “trust in him at all times; ye people, pour out your heart before him: God is a refuge for us.” By cultivating a deep and intimate connection with our Heavenly Father, we find solace, guidance, and strength to navigate life’s challenges.

    Nurturing our relationship with God involves spending time in prayer, studying His Word, and seeking His guidance in every aspect of our lives. It means surrendering our anxieties, fears, and burdens to Him, trusting in His divine wisdom and perfect plan. By drawing close to God individually and as a couple, we create a spiritual foundation that sustains and supports our mental health journey.

    Supporting each other’s mental health is a sacred responsibility within marriage. Through open communication, active listening, encouragement of professional help, and the cultivation of a strong foundation for mental health, we can create an environment where both partners thrive emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. By prioritizing self-care and nurturing our relationship with God, we can journey together, hand in hand, towards greater emotional well-being and a deeper connection with one another and with our Creator.

    Photo Credit: ©GettyImages/MangoStar_Studio

    Emmanuel Abimbola is a creative freelance writer, blogger, and web designer. He is a devout Christian with an uncompromising faith who hails from Ondo State in Nigeria, West Africa. As a lover of kids, Emmanuel runs a small elementary school in Arigidi, Nigeria.

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  • Why We Must Make Family Devotions a Priority

    Why We Must Make Family Devotions a Priority

    In a Christian home, family devotion is vital. It is a time when family members gather together to worship God, study His Word, pray for one another, and encourage each other with faith. For believers, family devotion is not only a duty but a privilege and a blessing, as it strengthens the bond of love and unity among the family members and helps them grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ.

    The Bible teaches us that God has instituted the family as the basic unit of society. And He has given parents the responsibility to train their children in the way they should go (Proverbs 22:6). Therefore, parents can fulfill their God-given role as teachers and good examples for their children through family devotions.

    By worshiping God as a family, you demonstrate that you belong to Him and that He is your highest priority. This practice also shows that your home is not conformed to this world but transformed by the renewing of your minds (Romans 12:2). Family devotion also serves as a testimony to the world of the reality and power of the gospel. If done right, family devotion can serve as a means of witnessing to neighbors, friends, relatives, and others who may observe or hear about it. It may even lead some to seek the Lord and His salvation.

    Unlike what most people might think, family devotion is not a burden but a joy. It is not a legalistic ritual but a spontaneous expression of love and gratitude to God. It is a creative opportunity to connect with God and each other and can be done at any time of the day, in any place, and in any way that suits the family’s needs. The important thing is that the family devotes time regularly to honoring God.

    Family devotion is a precious gift from God; it is a means of grace and growth for every Christian home. It serves as a source of peace and comfort in times of trouble and a fountain of joy and hope in times of despair. It is a treasure that we should cherish and guard with all our hearts.

    Your Role as Parents in Family Devotion

    Devotion acts as a method of strengthening the links of love and solidarity among family members while also growing in faith, so the Christian parents’ roles as spiritual leaders in the family are critical.

    Parents have the responsibility and privilege of leading their children in the ways of the Lord and modeling a godly lifestyle for them. As a Christian parent, you are the major spiritual instructor and influence in your children’s lives. You have the chance to inculcate in your children a love for God and His Word, respect for His presence, a passion for His purpose, and a desire to do what He says. Deuteronomy 6:6-7 reminds us, “And these words, which I command thee this day, shall be in thine heart: And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up.” 

    You have the ability and power to encourage spiritual talents in your offspring. You must pray for the protection, guidance, healing, and prosperity of your children. You may give encouragement to your children, as well as reveal God’s promises to them. You may even lay hands on them to receive the anointing and empowerment of the Holy Spirit.

    Therefore, it is your ultimate goal to make family devotion a priority and a habit by designating a certain time and location for it. You may choose resources and ways for family devotion that are suited to your children’s ages and interests. It is also important for parents to make family devotion pleasant and engaging by including their kids in the planning and participation.

    Learn to share your experiences and testimonies with other families and encourage them to do the same. This may encourage them to join or start family groups that gather regularly for family devotion and encourage one another on their spiritual path.

    Benefits of Family Devotion

    Regular devotion time together is one of the most satisfying and joyful activities a Christian family can participate in. It is an excellent method to develop the bonds of love, trust, and faith among household members while also growing closer to God as a family unit. 

    Here are some of the advantages of family devotions and why Christians must make them a priority:

    Family devotions allow you to study and apply God’s Word to real-life circumstances. Families may acquire knowledge, insight, and direction from God’s Word by reading and debating it together and then applying it to their personal and family difficulties. It may also assist families in memorizing and reflecting on significant Scriptures that will encourage and inspire them throughout the day.

    Family devotions develop a prayer and worship culture in the home, during which families may express their gratitude and needs to God by praying and thanking Him together and feeling His presence and peace in their midst. Family devotions may also assist families in interceding for one another, family, friends, neighbors, the church, and the world. Praying and worshiping together may help enhance the family’s love and regard for God and foster a desire to honor Him in all they do.

    Family devotion also boosts each family member’s spiritual growth and development. They may assist each other in their knowledge, understanding, and connection with God through spending time with God together. It also helps parents model and teach their children how to follow Jesus, live according to His will, and share His love with others. Family devotions may also assist kids in developing a personal faith and a virtuous character that will benefit them throughout their lives.

    Psalm 133:1 says, “Behold, how good and how pleasant it is for brethren to dwell together in unity!” Family devotions ultimately help families develop a strong sense of togetherness, identity, and purpose as a God-honoring family. They may experience the gifts of God’s grace, love, and power in their connections with Him and with each other by making family devotions a priority and a routine in their homes.

    Practical Tips for Family Devotions

    A wonderful way for a Christian family to develop faith and love is through family devotion. Though devotions can be difficult to keep up with, here are some helpful suggestions to make your family devotions more enjoyable:

    Pick a regular time and location. Your family may prioritize devotions and stay focused by following a pattern. Whether it’s early in the morning, just after supper, or right before bed, find a time that works for everyone. Choose a calm, comfortable location, like the living room, dining room, or lawn.

    Make use of various resources. There are numerous books, software programs, websites, and podcasts that you can use to give your family devotional content. Use your Bible, hymnal, or prayer book if you choose. Use different resources for various days to vary things. This can maintain your family’s interest and involvement.

    Include all parties. Family devotions involve more than just the parents leading and the kids following. Everyone is welcome to take part and make contributions in various ways. You can alternate between reading the Scripture passage, picking a piece of music, sharing thoughts, asking questions, and praying aloud. Additionally, you can designate roles like leader, reader, prayer leader, or singer.

    Be adaptable and imaginative. Family rituals don’t have to be strict or monotonous. You can modify them to fit the requirements of your household. Depending on your schedule and attention span, you can make them shorter or longer. Through the use of games, crafts, activities, or stories, you can also make them entertaining and engaging.

    Concentrate on the main idea. Family devotions shouldn’t be treated as a lesson or test. They are intended to assist your family in learning more about God and His Word and practical ways to incorporate truth into your daily lives. Avoid getting caught up in the minutiae or disagreements. Keep your attention on the passage’s or lesson’s major topic and how it applies to your family.

    Be transparent and truthful. Family devotions provide a secure forum for communication between members of your family and with God. Be open and honest about your difficulties, your uncertainties, and concerns, as well as your compliments and requests. Encourage one another to listen respectfully and communicate truthfully.

    Pray for one another. Family devotions are a fantastic time for everyone to pray for one another. You can offer prayers for the members’ individual needs or requests and for general blessings or direction. Outside your family, you can also pray for missionaries, friends, and relatives. Praying for one another can deepen your relationship and demonstrate your concern.

    Photo Credit: ©GettyImages/twinsterphoto

    Emmanuel Abimbola is a creative freelance writer, blogger, and web designer. He is a devout Christian with an uncompromising faith who hails from Ondo State in Nigeria, West Africa. As a lover of kids, Emmanuel runs a small elementary school in Arigidi, Nigeria.

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  • How Social Media Impacts Christian Marriages, for Better or Worse

    How Social Media Impacts Christian Marriages, for Better or Worse

    Whether we like it or not, social media has come to stay. And more importantly, it has become an integral part of our daily lives, providing various benefits ranging from improved communication to entertainment and networking, and possibly much more in the future. 

    However, it is increasingly clear that social media also has negative consequences for people and their relationships, particularly in the context of Christian marriages.

    Excessive social media use can lead to increased marital conflict and decreased marital satisfaction; some divorces are even caused by social media. There are numerous cases where social media has had a bad influence on marriages involving people from across the world. Nevertheless, it is essential to note that responsible and mindful use of social media can help mitigate these effects.

    While it is essential to be aware of the potential negative impacts of social media on Christian marriages and families, it is equally important to recognize the benefits social media offers in contemporary times.

    Importance of Social Media in Contemporary Times

    Social media platforms such as Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram have changed how we communicate, obtain information, and connect with our surroundings.

    One of the biggest advantages of social media is its capacity to connect people from all over the world. This is impressive as it breaks down geographical barriers and boosts communication and collaboration around the world.

    Social media has also made it simpler for people to stay in touch with spouses, relatives, and friends who live or work far away, offering a sense of connection, community, and support that might otherwise be impossible.

    Social media can provide opportunities for learning, growth, and spiritual development in your relationship. 

    Platforms like YouTube and podcasts offer a wealth of resources for Christian couples seeking to deepen their understanding of the Bible and grow in their faith. Christian bloggers and influencers offer insights and inspiration that can help married couples live out their faith in practical ways. It can also provide valuable resources for seeking knowledge and understanding regarding ways to improve their relationship.

    Social media can be a powerful tool for sharing and spreading the gospel. Platforms like Twitter, Instagram, and TikTok offer opportunities for Christians to share their love stories online and give inspiration to others in new and creative ways. Also, by using hashtags and engaging with others, Christians can reach a wider audience and share the good news of Jesus Christ with people who might not otherwise have encountered it.

    Jesus Himself spoke to the importance of spreading the gospel, with Matthew 28:19-20 stating, “Go ye therefore and teach all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost; teaching them to observe all things whatsoever I have commanded you; and, lo, I am with you always, even unto the end of the world.” 

    With thoughtful and responsible use, social media can be a powerful tool for connection, growth, and positive change.

    Positive Impacts of Social Media on Christian Marriages

    It is necessary to recognize that social media, like any other tool, can have positive and negative implications for Christian marriages and families. 

    While certain potential dangers and pitfalls are associated with social media use, there are also many positive ways social media can benefit Christian relationships.

    Couples who share their relationship online by posting pictures and status updates about their partner could develop higher relationship satisfaction. Social media, if used decently, could also positively impact families and relationships, possibly by facilitating communication and creating shared online experiences.

    Since communication plays a vital role in keeping and boosting the longevity of a marriage, couples who use social media to stay connected and communicate during times of separation, such as during deployment or long-distance relationships, can stand a chance of achieving higher levels of marital satisfaction and lower levels of divorce. 

    I believe that social media can positively affect Christian marriages and families when used responsibly and with care. 

    By fostering connections and communication and providing opportunities for learning and growth, social media can help strengthen our relationships with our spouses, families, and God. Therefore, as we navigate the double-edged sword of social media, let us seek to use it for good and for the glory of God.

    Negative Impacts of Social Media on Christian Marriages 

    While social media can offer many benefits, including increased connectivity and access to information that can help your marriage blossom, it can also present many challenges and temptations that undermine the health and stability of your relationships with your spouse and children. 

    Let’s explore some key ways social media can negatively impact Christian marriages and families, drawing on examples and teachings from the Bible.

    Comparison and Envy 

    One of the most common negative impacts of social media on Christian marriages and families is the tendency to compare our lives and relationships to others online, leading to feelings of envy, inadequacy, and discontentment.

    This is often exacerbated by the highly curated and idealized images that many people present on social media, which can create unrealistic expectations and standards for ourselves and others.

    As the Apostle Paul warns in 2 Corinthians 10:12, “For we dare not make ourselves of the number or compare ourselves with some that commend themselves; but they measuring themselves by themselves, and comparing themselves among themselves, are not wise.” Instead, we are called to focus on the unique blessings and challenges of our lives and relationships and be content with what God has given us.

    Addiction and Distraction

    Social media can also be highly addictive and distracting, pulling us away from our responsibilities and relationships with our spouses and families. In many cases, social media use can become compulsive and interfere with our ability to be present and engaged in our daily lives and interactions with our loved ones.

    Ephesians 5:15-16 says, “See then that ye walk circumspectly, not as fools, but as wise, redeeming the time, because the days are evil.” We must be mindful of how we spend our time and prioritize our relationships with our spouses and families above social media.

    Infidelity and Temptation

    Social media can also present many opportunities for temptation and infidelity through direct messaging, communication with others, and exposure to sexually explicit or provocative content online. 

    This can erode trust, intimacy, and commitment in Christian marriages and lead to devastating consequences. But Jesus warns in Matthew 5:28, “But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.” 

    Therefore, as Christians, we must guard our hearts and minds against the temptations and distractions that social media can present and remain faithful and committed to our spouses.

    Conflict and Misunderstanding

    Social media can also contribute to conflict and misunderstanding in Christian marriages, especially when communication online is not clear, honest, and respectful. Misinterpretation, miscommunication, and even cyberbullying can undermine the trust, respect, and love essential to healthy relationships. 

    As Christians, we must be mindful of the potential negative impacts of social media on our marriages by remaining focused on our relationship with God and family. 

    We can navigate the challenges of social media and build strong, healthy, and loving marriages to the honor and glory of God.

    I believe that social media is a double-edged sword because, while it has the potential to bring couples together and help them build a strong and healthy relationship, it can also lead to conflicts and even destroy the relationship when misused.

    Like any other tool, social media can be used for good or evil. We should be mindful of how we use social media and consider how our online interactions can impact our relationships with others, including our spouses, families, and even God.

    Photo Credit: ©GettyImages/Ridofranz

    Emmanuel Abimbola is a creative freelance writer, blogger, and web designer. He is a devout Christian with an uncompromising faith who hails from Ondo State in Nigeria, West Africa. As a lover of kids, Emmanuel runs a small elementary school in Arigidi, Nigeria.

    Emmanuel Abimbola

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