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  • 21 Stages Of A Narcissistic Relationship With An Empath

    21 Stages Of A Narcissistic Relationship With An Empath

    “The narcissist is like a bucket with a hole in the bottom: No matter how much you put in, you can never fill it up,” said popular American psychologist and professor Dr. Ramani Durvasula. Of course, self-love should be an integral aspect of our lives. But when the cup of self-love overflows and narcissism starts hampering an individual’s relationships, it’s a dangerous place to be in. And what happens when a narcissist attracts an empath? Well, this article will delve deeper into the 21 Stages of a narcissistic relationship with an empath.

    You might have guessed by now that such a relationship is bound to be one-sided. But what are the subtleties of such relationships and what can you expect in a toxic relationship such as this one in the long run? What are some signs a narcissist is using you? What happens when a narcissist meets his match? How long can a partner tolerate emotional abuse by a narcissist?

    Let us help you explore the complex relationship dynamics between a narcissist and an empath with the help of our expert relationship counselor Ruchi Ruuh (Postgraduate Diploma in Counseling Psychology). We’re sure by the time you finish reading this article, you would’ve gained some valuable insights on such connections and have a clear idea about
    when to step back. So, let’s get started.

    What Happens When An Empath And A Narcissist Get Into A Relationship?

    Before we get into the details of the stages of a narcissistic relationship with an empath, let’s look at the two terms ‘narcissist’ and ‘empath’ and find out how each differs from the other. Drawing from the Greek mythological character Narcissus, a hunter who fell in love with his own reflection in a pool as the result of a punishment, narcissism is a personality disorder that involves excessive self-importance, to the extent of being abnormally concerned about oneself.

    Related Reading: How To Deal With A Manipulative Husband?

    Empaths, on the other hand, are people who, by psychological terms, display hyperempathy, or excessive empathy for people around them. These highly sensitive people can care about others to the extent of ignoring their own needs and wants.

    What’s the difference between a narcissist and an empath?

    Interestingly, a narcissist’s psychological dynamics are so complicated that one can’t simply say they don’t possess empathy. In fact, a study once suggested that narcissists don’t simply lack empathy. Narcissists live with dysfunctional empathy that depends on various motivational and situational factors.

    But it goes without saying that an empath and a narcissist are poles apart in terms of their needs and behavior. Ruchi explains, “An empath is a highly sensitive person who knows how to empathize and detect the feelings of other people.” Empaths possess qualities such as:

    • Active listening skills
    • Picking up on non-verbal cues
    • Reading thoughts, feelings, and emotions
    • Making people feel happy and comfortable around them, often at the cost of their own well-being
    • Trying to find positive things among the chaos
     For more expert-backed insights, please subscribe to our YouTube Channel.

    Ruchi adds, “A narcissist, however, is someone who’s looking for someone with such skills.” Some narcissistic tendencies and traits are:

    • Need for excessive love and affection
    • Thirst for absolute control and power over other people
    • Grandiosity, or an inflated sense of self
    • Attention-seeking behavior
    • Manipulative nature
    • Inability to show empathy

    Related Reading: 21 Toxic Girlfriend Signs Not Easy To Spot – It’s Her, Not You

    “As we all know, opposites attract. So, since empaths don’t have healthy boundaries, people with narcissistic personality disorder love to penetrate those weak boundaries. The empath–narcissist pairing seems like an ideal couple, but such relationships are also full of manipulation and selfishness and soon become very toxic,” Ruchi says.

    What are the features of a narcissist empath friendship or relationship?

    Now that we know that empaths and narcissists are prone to be attracted to each other, let’s look at what happens when they get into a relationship. Well, it is common knowledge that a narcissist’s overpowering charisma and fake confidence attracts an empath like a magnet. But how do such relationships function over time? We’ll look at a few features of a relationship or friendship between a narcissist and an empath. Here they are:

    ● Narcissists control empaths: Empaths admire the charm and decisiveness of narcissists. In fact, a narcissist attracts an empath with a fake show of confidence.

    ● Narcissists put up a show of being ideal: In trying to showcase themselves as ideal wives, husbands, or partners, narcissists also sometimes mirror the empath’s qualities. An empath will thus feel they have found an ideal partner in a narcissist.

    ● It turns into a God–devotee relationship: Ruchi says, “A narcissist’s ego is like that of a movie star. Narcissists almost appear to be God-like figures to empaths, while empaths become their fans or devotees. While narcissists are constantly looking for validation, their fans (the empaths) are always encouraging and worshiping them like Gods. Empaths often shower them with gifts, compliments, and encouragement.”

    Related Reading: 7 Reasons Why Narcissists Can’t Maintain Intimate Relationships

    ● Narcissists complain and empaths manage them: The narcissistic relationship pattern involves complaining, while empaths are always there to respond with love and compassion. Ruchi adds, “Narcissists are always in disharmony with the world and think everyone is against them and that nobody likes them. Empaths offer a safe space to help them feel good about themselves and, in turn, become their punching bags.”

    ● Narcissists manipulate empaths: Narcissists are manipulative and often don’t take any blame when something bad happens. Ruchi adds, “When things go south, narcissists exploit empaths, but empaths don’t realize that they’re being manipulated.”

    ● Narcissists gaslight empaths: Narcissists somehow convince the empaths that they need to fix themselves. Ruchi explains, “When a narcissist blames or gaslights an empath, the empath tries to change themselves, without questioning them back. They fall prey to the narcissist’s gaslighting.”

    ● Narcissists become the empath’s protector and then their abuser: One of the features of the narcissistic relationship pattern is that narcissists make empaths feel that they are protecting them. Ruchi adds, “Empaths enjoy the protection in the beginning. But this feeling wears off pretty quickly when an empath realizes the narcissist is trying to manipulate them. Narcissists destroy empaths if this continues for too long.”

    21 Stages Of A Narcissistic Relationship With An Empath

    The complexity of the narcissist–empath friendship or relationship dynamic is such that psychologists have categorized it in phases. Though stages of a narcissistic relationship aren’t always linear, it’s believed all narcissist–empath connections more or less go through the same progressive order. So, let’s delve deeper into this interesting bond and find out more about the narcissistic relationship cycle:

    Idealization

    In the idealization stage, the narcissist portrays themselves as an ideal human being, full of charm, charisma, and intellectual depth. They seem to be flawless and often try to match the traits of an empath or mirror their needs and thoughts. This is the beginning of the intense attraction between a narcissist and an empath, in which the empath starts idealizing their partner. Let’s see what this phase entails:

    1. Love bombing

    In the first stage, the narcissist tries to manipulate the empath with an intense expression of love, also known as love bombing. Ruchi adds, “The narcissist will impress you by giving you excessive love and shower you with gifts, compliments, PDA, and declaration of love on social media. They show you that they value you excessively, making you get into an emotional bond quickly.”

    Narcissistic relationship pattern
    A narcissist starts the relationship with love bombing

    But how would you distinguish between love bombing and genuine care? A Reddit user says, “Usually love bombing appears very fast” and then adds, “Genuine care is mostly about respecting your feelings, and being comfortable to discuss things without walking on eggshells.”

    Related Reading: 13 Signs Of A Vulnerable Narcissist In Relationships And How To Deal With One

    2. Idealized image

    The second stage has narcissists portraying themselves as flawless, self-assured, successful people. They make you feel like you have shared values, interests, and hobbies. They mirror your interests. Ruchi explains, “So, if you like politics, they will start talking about politics. If you’re a student of French, they might start speaking in French. Narcissists create a fake shared identity and a false image of compatibility.”

    3. Rapid escalation of relationship

    Generally, relationships progress with partners falling in love and discovering each other over time. But in narcissist–empath relationships, the narcissist pulls the empath into a serious relationship right from the beginning. So, a narcissist may:

    Ruchi adds, “By showing this beautiful side of themselves, narcissists trap empaths in bonds of emotional intimacy.”

    Related Reading: 9 Expert Tips On How To Deal With A Narcissist Spouse

    Devaluation

    As the relationship progresses, the devaluation phase begins, with the narcissist putting a sudden end to the love and adoration that they had been showering their empath partner with. Empaths suddenly find themselves being criticized and targeted with negative comments by the narcissist. They are undermined by the narcissist and don’t feel as valued as they were in the initial days of the relationship.

    4. Criticism and negativity

    The fourth stage begins with hyper-negativity. Ruchi adds, “After so much appreciation in the beginning, this stage comes as a blow- to an empath. Suddenly, narcissists start finding faults, or talk about trivial flaws that did not matter in the past.” In such cases, narcissists can criticize an empath’s:

    • Views
    • Jobs
    • Physical appearance
    • Accomplishments

    Narcissists easily dismiss anything positive about empaths and that results in low self-esteem in their partners.

    5. Emotional manipulation and abuse

    In this stage, narcissists go all out with their claws. They start doing things that would make an empath feel bad about themselves. Ruchi explains, “In this stage, an empath may start questioning if they’re the toxic person. What follows is a lot of blame shifting and rejection. Narcissists set empaths up for failure.”

    Related Reading: Romantic Manipulation – 15 Things Disguised As Love

    6. Withholding of affection and attention

    In the sixth stage, the attention that was abundant in the first phase becomes sparse. Ruchi adds, “Narcissists may withhold affection and emotional connection consciously in this stage. They become strangely cold.” In fact, this
    is one of the signs a narcissist is using you or your vulnerability to their advantage.

    7. Threats of abandonment

    Next, comes the narcissist’s favorite weapon: the fear of abandonment, which may already be present in an empath due to their hypersensitivity. A narcissist loves to prey on a sensitive empath’s fear of being left alone, and this eventually leads to emotional blackmail. In fact, by now, they may have already begun the initial gaslighting and their empath partner is probably seeking the narcissist’s approval and attention.

    Ruchi explains, “Suddenly, the empath is worthless and undeserving. In this stage, narcissists may try to assert their power and control. They start threatening you through their words and actions. It’s like if you don’t step up or do things according to them, they will leave you. Love is a drug for the empath now and it’s difficult for them to understand it’s a threat. But the fear of abandonment creeps in and causes anxiety. When a narcissist abuses an empath partner emotionally, the partner can develop a low self-esteem too.”

    Related Reading: How to Move On Without Closure? 8 Ways To Help You Heal

    Gaslighting

    This phase is all about manipulative tactics that narcissists employ to destroy their partner’s perception of reality. They tell their empath partners that their reality is not true, and the empaths start doubting their own sanity. Let’s look at the various stages of this phase:

    8. Denial of reality

    Gaslighting begins with the narcissist denying the empath’s reality or experiences. In such cases, they might:

    • Dismiss the empath’s feelings, saying things such as “You’re just overreacting.”
    • Deny events that happened, by saying things such as “Are you sure that happened? Are you imagining things?”
    • Try to convince the empath that they remember things incorrectly
    • Change the narrative according to their whims This creates a lot of confusion in the empath’s mind.

    Related Reading: Responding To Gaslighting – 9 Realistic Tips

    9. Blame shifting and lack of responsibility

    In this stage, narcissists start accusing their empath partners of manipulating or exaggerating. Ruchi says, “Narcissists start turning the tables and resort to blame shifting. So, if they’re lying or cheating, they blame the empath for their toxic actions. If they should be responsible, they make the empath feel they’re not doing enough. This is a subtle form of manipulation.”

    In such situations, you may find the narcissist saying things such as:

    • “How does it matter if I’ve been texting my assistant? How can I be sure you’re not up to something with your boss?”
    • “Yes, I know I should’ve paid the rent on time last month. But you didn’t remind me at all.”

    10. Minimizing and trivializing your concerns

    Narcissists now go from validating your concerns and needs to saying you’re always complaining. Ruchi adds, “Your convenience isn’t important to them anymore. They start downplaying your emotional pain. This is a very big blow to
    an empath’s self-esteem.” Here’s one example:

    Rita, a friend of mine, had a narcissistic husband, Chris. While they initially seemed like a loving couple, things changed later. At one point, everything in their lives depended on Chris’s whims. When Rita once complained that she had been facing harassment at her new workplace, Chris said she was probably exaggerating. Rita would also often be too tired after the long commute and would order in food instead of cooking. Chris had a problem with that too and blamed her for being lazy, saying all wives should know how to take care of their husbands. This is a classic case of the narcissistic behavior of minimizing a partner’s concerns.

    Related Reading: 6 Types Of Emotional Manipulation And Expert Tips To Recognize Them

    11. Confusion and contradiction

    Narcissists love creating the hot-and-cold situation where dichotomous ideas pop up often. This involves:

    • Making contradictory statements
    • Changing sides often
    • Showering love on you one day and distancing themselves the next
    empath and narcissist marriageempath and narcissist marriage
    A narcissist tries to confuse the empath with their actions

    Ruchi explains, “This contradictory nature makes it challenging for the empath partner to trust narcissists. Self-doubt creeps in and they start questioning their reality. An empath in this situation will go through an emotional rollercoaster.”

    12. Isolation and dependency

    In this stage, the narcissist’s manipulative game reaches a crescendo. They start isolating empaths from their other support systems. So, the empath is so busy dealing with the confusion in their relationship, they don’t have the time to interact with or seek support from their family and friends.

    Ruchi adds, “Now the empath stops confiding in their friends and family members. They often do this to avoid angering the narcissist partner. So, there’s a huge emotional dependency on the narcissist for emotional validation. Most victims of such manipulation feel trapped and stop trusting their own gut feeling or perception of reality.”

    Related Reading: Grey Rock Method: Meaning, Techniques, And Ways To Use It Effectively

    Silent Treatment

    In this phase, the narcissist uses silence to punish the empath for not ‘obeying’ them or for not pleasing them enough. This is another emotionally manipulative tactic of the narcissist and has an immensely detrimental effect. It is also often anxiety- inducing for the empath partner. Let’s look at the stages of this phase:

    13. Communication shutdown

    This is one of the most painful stages of a narcissistic relationship, as all or most communication between the narcissist and empath stops. This is a classic case of narcissistic emotional stonewalling. Ruchi adds, “The narcissistic partner, who was very vocal earlier, suddenly stops communicating. They make you feel they are about to leave you. Soon, the silence feels like a breakup. There is complete withdrawal of attachment and a lot of confusion. All of this makes the empath desperate for attention.”

    14. Emotional control

    The narcissist, in this stage, is in a position of power over the empath emotionally. In this stage:

    • The empath is left feeling absolutely challenged and may feel the narcissist is pulling their strings
    • The empath, when blocked or unfriended on social media and other channels of communication, starts searching for the narcissist partner or asking people for their whereabouts.
    • The empath has no way of knowing what’s going on until and unless the narcissist begins communicating again

    Related Reading: What Is Love Bombing? Warning Signs And Ways To Cope

    Hoovering

    Narcissistic hoovering is a phase which finds the narcissist trying to re-establish the relationship or pretending to do so. Ruchi adds, “The narcissist, who was absconding for a while and had blocked all channels of communication, now suddenly comes back and tries to reignite the relationship.” Here are some stages of this phase:

    15. Love bombing II

    This is the return of the love bombing stage and is characterized by:

    • Sudden excessive attention
    • Compliments
    • Constant contact

    Ruchi explains, “This is when the narcissist creates an idealized relationship again, making the empath hopeful about the relationship once more.”

    16. Fake apologies and promises

    This is when the narcissist makes promises to change themselves and the situation. Ruchi says, “The empath might feel the narcissist is admitting to their flaws and has finally realized their mistakes. And the empath starts trusting the
    narcissist again, because the apologies and promises feel real and heartfelt.”

    So, in this stage, you might see a narcissist say things like:

    • “I promise, I’ll make it up to you next time.”
    • “I know I can be unreasonable at times. Trust me, I’m working on it.”
    • “I’m so sorry I made you feel that way. This won’t happen again, I promise.”

    17. Manipulative guilt entity

    In this stage, the narcissist tries to portray themselves as the victim. They make you feel you’re not trying to communicate and that you’re toxic. Ruchi adds, “Narcissists downplay their emotional and mental abuse and make the empath feel like the abuser. They also start telling the empath sob stories of their previous relationships to evoke empathy.”

    18. Flying monkeys

    When all their strategies fail, narcissistic abuse moves to the next level by taking the help of flying monkeys, or mutual friends and connections. These connections become peacemakers. In such cases, the mutual connections may:

    • Convince you to forgive the narcissist
    • Believe in the versions of your story that a narcissist may have told them
    • Give the narcissist information about you, without consulting you
    • Dismiss your feelings
    • Trivialize your emotions
    • Gaslight or manipulate you on behalf of the narcissist
    • Spread rumors about how you aren’t doing enough
    • Ignore the evidence against the narcissist

    Related Reading: No Contact With A Narcissist – 7 Things Narcissists Do When You Go No Contact

    And why do flying monkeys side with the narcissist? Well, they may have their reasons:

    • They may be benefitting from the narcissist in some way
    • They may have unresolved issues with you
    • They may just be people pleasers who don’t wish to offend the manipulative narcissist
    • They may not be willing to be in the bad books of the narcissist

    Ruchi explains, “There is suddenly a lot of pressure to reconcile. This is challenging for the empath, something quite similar to what we see in many divorce cases, where the victim is made to believe they need to reconcile and not leave their partners.”

    Discard

    The last of the 21 stages of a narcissistic relationship with an empath is the ‘discard’ phase. This phase is one of the most prominent signs a narcissist is finished with you and the most painful of all. It’s in this phase that the narcissist abruptly ends the relationship and discards their partner. So, there is no scope for a gradual breakup in such cases. There is no mutual resolution or amicable parting either. Let’s look at the stages of this phase:

    19. Sudden cold disengagement

    This is in fact a form of silent treatment that the narcissist ends the relationship with. This is when the narcissist decides to cut off all forms of communication and the empath partner is left with nothing. Ruchi adds, “The empath doesn’t know what the narcissist is up to or whether there is any future of the relationship. It seems like a sudden death of the connection and may lead to emotional trauma.”

    On Narcissism and moreOn Narcissism and more

    20. Emotional cruelty, with lack of closure

    In this stage, the narcissist may:

    • Engage in name calling or abuse
    • Create a false narrative about their empath partner

    Related Reading: A Rundown On What A Narcissist Does At The End Of A Relationship

    Ruchi adds, “This can make the empath feel humiliated, exploited, shamed, and insecure, directly affecting their self-esteem. Here, the narcissist is controlling the story. The lack of closure almost amounts to cruelty. The narcissist moves on but leaves the empath thinking they’re wrong and makes them go through emotional turmoil.”

    21. Hoovering II

    One would think the narcissist is done with the empath once the relationship reaches the final stage of ‘discard’. But narcissists surprisingly love disrupting the healing process of their empath partners. So, even after the relationship is over, the narcissist may come back from time to time, hoovering for years, not allowing their partners to forget them or move on. In such cases, the narcissist may:

    • Offer short-lived apologies for years, such as “I’m sorry for what I did to you. Can we remain friends?”
    • Send you surprise gifts
    • Shower compliments and attention on social media
    • Wish you on your birthday or special days

    Ruchi adds, “This is detrimental for the empath’s emotional well-being, as they may feel exploited over and over, for years

    Key Pointers

    • Narcissists tend to display traits such as excessive self-absorption, attention-seeking behavior, grandiosity (or excessive self-importance), and an inability to show empathy
    • Empaths are known to be hypersensitive to people around them and even pick up non-
      verbal cues
    • The relationship between an empath and a narcissist may seem ideal in the beginning
    • With time, the narcissist–empath dynamic turns into a one-sided relationship, with the narcissist turning into a ‘taker’ and the empath being the ‘giver’
    • The 21 stages of a narcissistic relationship with an empath include several sub-stages of these phases: idealization, devaluation, gaslighting, silent treatment, hovering, and discard
    • The narcissist–empath relationship either ends when the empath stops giving their all
      or the relationship turns into a long-drawn and painful bond of exploitation

    Narcissistic abuse is a magnetic trap for an empath. As already mentioned in the article above, in an empath-and-narcissist marriage, an empath’s hyper-empathetic nature makes them vulnerable to the self-centered narcissist’s abusive behavior. The ensuing relationship doesn’t just make the empath’s life painful but also pushes the narcissist to a point of no return in terms of mental health issues. A narcissist, if led on to such toxic behavior, may never recover and may continue to harm themselves and other people in the long run.

    Thus, it’s important for the empath to step back whenever they realize they are being abused by their narcissistic partners or are becoming victims of narcissistic rage. Empath–narcissist couples can also opt for counseling, as consulting a mental health professional has no alternatives. Most importantly, they should take the help of their friends, family, and coworkers to see if things can improve. If you’re an empath who has noticed signs a narcissist is done with you, you should realize your value and work on self-care. Remember, abusive relationships are bound to end on a bitter note someday. So, never sacrifice your mental well-being and self-worth just to be with someone. Break free from the narcissist’s control!

    FAQs

    1.Do narcissists get worse with each relationship?

    Narcissists may wish to settle down or tie the knot with people they may think are suitable for them. But their repeated narcissistic abuse and patterns of disrespect and emotional exploitation prevent most narcissists from being in stable relationships or marriages. So, they may not be theoretically getting worse with each relationship but may just be exhibiting their narcissistic traits over and over again.

    2. How long do narcissistic relationships usually last?

    Since narcissists value power over their partners more than the emotional aspects of a relationship, their bonds too are mostly superficial and may last only for a few months. As a result, the narcissistic relationship cycle is short and narcissists usually move on from one relationship to the next, changing their partners just like parasites moving on to new hosts. An empath-and-narcissist marriage or relationship will end when the empath finally decides to regain control. Additionally, such one-sided relationships are emotionally draining and painful. However, narcissistic relationships may last longer when a narcissist meets his match, i.e., another narcissist.

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  • 25 Fun Things To Do With Your Partner When Bored At Night

    25 Fun Things To Do With Your Partner When Bored At Night

    Imagine it’s the weekend tomorrow and you are with your partner. The clock strikes 1, and being night owls, there is no possibility that the two of you will embrace slumber anytime soon. Now, you both are wondering what to do when bored at night. Neither of you can come up with spontaneous things to do in a relationship when bored to tears at night.

    So, getting busy with your phones seems to be the last resort. But why scroll through irrelevant videos when there’s so much you can do to turn your dull night into an interesting one? From creative and romantic to fun and productive, there’s a plethora of things to do when you’re bored at night. Whenever you feel time is dragging, our list of fun stuff to do at night will come to your rescue.

    What To Do When Bored At Night? 25 Fun Activities To Try With Your SO

    Dinner’s done. You’re through with your household chores too. You are also done scrolling through social media. Now what? Fighting boredom in relationship is the last thing you would have imagined while entering into the relationship. However, here’s life giving you a reality check.

    You might feel that the humdrum of everyday life has extinguished the fire and spark of the initial days of your relationship. But, that’s not true. After being together for a long time, there are no ‘firsts’ left, and that’s the reason you are struggling to fight boredom. But remember, there are plenty of spontaneous things to do in a relationship.

    When you are unable to figure out what to do when you can’t sleep and are bored at night, just put a bit of effort into going through this list specially curated for you. You can thank us later.

    For more expert-backed insights, please subscribe to our YouTube channel

    1. Have a board game night

    If you both are board game geeks, then what are you waiting for? You can easily kill time with a board game night. Explore the competitive side of you and your partner without getting out of the comfort of your home. Get some wine or any beverage from your fridge and roll the dice. There are also plenty of card and board games available that you can enjoy with your significant other. It is undoubtedly one of the best things to do when you’re bored at night.

    Related Reading: 40 Cute Things To Do With Your Girlfriend At Home

    2. Take a shower together

    A relaxing shower or bubble bath can help you regain drained energy. Decorate your bathroom with petals, and candles. Add a tinge of pleasant aroma. One of the sexiest things to do at night at home, especially if you are trying to spice things up a little with your partner, is shower foreplay, and we know you don’t want to miss out on it. However, make sure the bathroom is clean and the water temperature is adequate before you zero in on this idea.

    3. Cook your favorite dish

    Do you like cooking but are unable to do so because of your hectic schedule? Well, now that you have ample time, you can prepare something special for a romantic date night at home. So, instead of spending money on ordering food through apps, prepare something delicious at home. Here’s a tip: make it a joint effort, because as you know, couples that cook together, stay together.

    4. Read a book for each other

    What could be the best late night things to do if you both are bibliophiles? It’s simple. Just grab your favorite book. And instead of reading it for yourself, read to your partner. To add a dash of romance to the book-reading session, pick up a romantic novel, switch on the reading lamp, and get cozy with your partner under a blanket.

    5. Chalk out future travel plans

    So, what to do when you can’t sleep and are bored at night? Plan a vacation or a romantic getaway. Chalking out future travel plans is one of the best uses of free time. You can mutually decide your destination and the kind of holiday you want, be it an adventure vacation, one filled with romance, or a no-frills backpacking trip. Accordingly, you can decide on your budget and the leaves that you may need.

    6. Indulge in a spa night

    One of the many amazing things to do at night at home is indulging in self-care. So, why spend money when you can have relaxing spa sessions at home itself? It is one of the best things to do at 3 a.m. or whenever you are free. Create a vibe with scented candles, incense sticks, and dim lights. Pour essential oils all over your partner’s body and massage gently. Go with the flow and spice it up in different ways.

    Related Reading: 21 Romantic Yet Unique Things To Do For Anniversary Celebration

    7. Dance together

    One of the most romantic late night things to do with your partner is to dance with them. Why go to nightclubs when you can dance your heart out in your cozy little room itself? Dancing is hands down a fun stuff to do at night with your partner at home.

    So, what’s your mood tonight? Waltz or salsa? Set the music as per your choice and get ready to hit the dance floor. As your bodies come close together, grooving to the beat, there comes the moment you have been waiting for. No doubt it’s an awesome date idea for a Friday night if you have nothing planned!

    things to do when you're bored at night
    Take your partner dancing in the living room to your special song and it will melt their heart!

    8. Watch shows or movies

    What is one of the simplest yet best things to do at 3 a.m.? Switch on your TV or laptop and kill time easily. You have Netflix to your rescue whenever you are bored. Get some beer, wine, smoothies, snacks, or whatever you want to have. Switch off the light to set the right mood.

    You can either watch a new series that has earned some rave reviews or just stick to your good old drama or movie. But, please don’t immerse yourselves in it so much that you skip exchanging warm hugs, cuddles, and gentle kisses. Just in case, you are stuck at home during the monsoons or on a snowy night, here’s your perfect rainy day date night idea to feel closer to each other.

    9. Enjoy stargazing

    Don’t want to Netflix ‘n’ chill? Not in the mood for cooking or playing games either? So, what to do when bored at night? Well, you can spend time stargazing, as it is one of the most relaxing and romantic things to do with your partner. A blanket, pillows, and a mat — that’s all you need. You can grab some beverages if you want. While the world is fast asleep, enjoy the serenity of nature and the calmness of the moon with your most precious one.

    Related Reading: 33 Most Romantic Things To Do For Your Wife

    10. Write love letters

    You have to trust us when we say that those old-school love letters will never go out of fashion. If you both are old-school romantics, then write love letters to each other when you are bored at night. Pen down your feelings for each other, likes, and dislikes, or complaints if you have any. After you are done writing, give the letter to your partner and let them read it to know the intensity of feelings you have for them.

    11. Take online personality tests

    Thinking of spontaneous things to do at night? Why not opt for online personality tests, couple quizzes, and compatibility tests? These are the fun things you can do online with your partner to combat boredom. Through these quizzes and tests, you can assess how well you know each other and which aspect of your partner still remains uncovered. Who knows you might discover something surprising about your partner while enjoying these quizzes.

    12. Play Truth or Dare

    Truth or Dare never fails to disappoint even if you know your partner in and out. When played with the naughtiest intentions, it can be as engrossing as bedroom romance. So, the next time you are looking for fun ideas to fight boredom at night, convince your partner for a game of Truth or Dare. You can subtly ask them about something that has been bothering you lately or give them a dare that guarantees just what you want.

    13. Go through old photo albums

    Everyone loves a good old photo album, as it triggers nostalgia and brings up numerous topics that were never discussed. The fun multiplies when you walk down memory lane with your partner. Spend a few minutes on each photo and talk about the memories it brings up. As you go through the photos, you can discuss life events and tease each other all night.

    14. Plan a confession night

    If you are still confused about what to do when bored at night, why not plan a confession night to pour your heart out? Skeptical of telling something to your partner? A confession session is the solution to your problem. Well, it doesn’t have to necessarily be a deep and serious session. You can make it fun in your own ways. Make sure this conversation doesn’t lead to any heated argument when you go for deeper confessions.

    15. Play video games with your partner

    Nothing helps you fight boredom as much as video games. Plug in your gaming console and challenge your partner to a video game. They are addictive enough to keep you up for an entire night. Unlike other late-night activities, video games offer you a chance to place a bet with your partner and fulfill your fantasies if you manage to win.

    Related Reading: 10 Crazy Things People Do When They’re In Love

    16. Spice up the night in the bedroom

    There are countless new and exciting things to do in bed if you two are bored at night. You can take foreplay to a different level with role-playing games. Don’t be shy to tell your partner about your fantasies and see them come true. Enjoy heightened pleasure as you experiment with new places around the house, such as your couch, kitchen cabinet, or study table. You can also consider card games with sexual rewards for the winner. Interesting, right?

    Stories about love and romanceStories about love and romance

    17. Go for a late-night drive

    A late-night drive is pure bliss, as you don’t have to worry about being stuck in traffic. Get some fresh air, gaze at the night sky, and spend quality time with each other as you both enjoy ice cream or a cup of coffee. While late-night drives are undoubtedly romantic, they also offer time to contemplate the bond you two share. You can discuss future plans, your expectations, and the areas that require self-improvement.

    18. Try the ‘don’t laugh’ challenge

    If you have tried all the fun things to do at home with your partner, give the ‘don’t laugh’ challenge a try. Challenge your partner not to crack up as you tell them the silliest of jokes. It is amusing to see how long your partner controls their laughter. It can be one of the best chill things to do at night, especially if the last few days have been stressful for both of you. It can pave the way for some wild activities too.

    19. Plan a date night on the terrace

    A date under the night sky on the terrace is one of the most romantic late night activities at home. You get a chance to soak up some fresh air, eat good food, dress up without any occasion, and most importantly, express your love. You can even save money by not going outside and eating home-cooked food instead. You can ask your romantic partner to help you in the kitchen. Cook a new recipe that you came across on Instagram a long time back and didn’t get time to try out.

    Related Reading: 10 Cheesy Things Couples Do In Relationships But Don’t Admit To

    20. Try DIY craft with your partner

    One of the most creative things to do with your partner is making DIY crafts. Impress your partner with your art skills as you make something cool for your home. Make a decorative piece, a wall hanging, or candles for your living room and proudly flaunt it before your guests. You can even make some unique DIY gifts separately and present it to each other.

    21. Engage in wall art

    If you are immensely interested in art and are looking for creative things to do with your partner, then do consider wall art or wall painting. Use the wall to let your creative juices flow and make it your labor of love. Before you reveal your artistic side, play some calming music to set the mood. Do not miss to spray paint on your partner to tease them and channelize your wild side. Follow it up with a relaxing shower with your ‘bae’.

    22. Make a ‘before we turn 40’ list

    ‘Before we turn 40’ is an intriguing activity you can do at night to get to know each other better. It will not only help you seamlessly communicate your desires and goals but also help you exchange a long-term to-do list. You can discuss and note down things you want to cover on your couples bucket list, a new language, a new skill, or an online course. You can even plan an early retirement. This list will give you constant motivation to achieve your goals.

    23. Bake a cake together

    Baking a cake with your partner is the most fun way to fight boredom and break monotony after a tiring day at work. We think it’s one of the things every couple should do together once in a while as a fun bonding experience. Search for an easy cake recipe and make sure that you have all the required ingredients available at home.

    You can also connect to a friend or family member on video chat to learn a tried and tested recipe. Since you are baking the cake together, one can remind the other if they miss out on any step or ingredient. Happy baking!

    spontaneous things to do in a relationshipspontaneous things to do in a relationship
    Baking together can be a fun activity to beat boredom at home

    24. Plan a living room picnic

    My friend Stacy once called me at 2 a.m., as she was wondering what to do when bored at night. As I had just woken up from a deep sleep, I gave her a silly suggestion to go on a romantic picnic. She said, “A picnic this late?” I replied, “Yes! If a call this late makes sense, then a late-night picnic is fine as well.” I hung up the phone.

    The next morning, when I logged in to Instagram, I was pleasantly surprised to see the pictures of the picnic she had planned with her boyfriend in their living room the previous night. A lightweight blanket fort, strings of fairy lights, drinks, snacks and what not! You should definitely give it a try next time you are bored at night.

    Related Reading: 30 Things To Do To Make Your Girlfriend Happy

    25. Create a collage of your memories

    Another fun way to spend quality nighttime with your partner is by making a photo collage or vision board. It will help you kill free time in the best way possible. Making a collage brings couples closer and allows them to recall the best memories created together. You can also choose to create a vision board that will help you motivate and inspire each other to achieve goals.

    They say there’s never a dull moment with your loved ones. That’s partially true, because boredom can hit anyone at any time. But, from now on, you don’t have to worry when you are bored at night. The fun activities to do at night mentioned in this article will make sure that you spend your free time with your partner in the most engaging, productive, and creative way possible.

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  • 21 Fun And Romantic Board Games For Couples

    21 Fun And Romantic Board Games For Couples

    Too tired to venture out? At-home dates to your rescue! You can spend quality time together without getting out of your comfort zones. However, in the long run, there isn’t much to do during at-home dates besides binge-watching and cooking together. If you’ve reached that point, you need to invest in some board games for couples, because you can always rely on them to make your time special.

    Whether you are new in a relationship or in a long-term one, good board games will always add fun (and lots of food) to your date night. There’s a plethora of romantic board games for couples available in the market as per your need. While some games will spice up your date night, others are meant to bring out your competitive side. There are also conversation cards that foster hearty talks and help you know each other better.

    So, what are you waiting for? Let’s plan your next date night.

    21 Fun And Romantic Board Games To Play As Couples

    Planning a cozy night with your partner or someone special? Or searching for fun games to play with your wife or husband? Why not take it to the next level and add fun and sparks to your time together with 2-player board games for couples?

    Besides combating boredom, board games for couples enable them to spend quality time with each other in this era of modern dating. Whether you want to experience childhood nostalgia or looking for something new on a date night, board games have you sorted. Remember, couples who play together stay together!

    These games are an entertaining way to let your partner know that you love spending time with them. Many of these activities also help you understand your partner on a deeper level. Curious? Check out this long list of board games curated especially for you.

    Related Reading: 25 Games To Play With Your Girlfriend – Fun, Flirty, And Exciting

    1. Paris: La Cité de la Lumière

    Paris: La Cité de la Lumière is one of those board games for couples that won’t bore you no matter how many times you have played it. This can surely be counted among the most beautiful board games with stunning designs.

    Paris: La Cité de la Lumière is divided into two parts. It is set in 19th-century Paris during the World’s Fair. In the first half, you need to fill the streets with oddly shaped creations and in the later part, you have to bring your buildings as close as possible to the street lights. Whoever succeeds in this, wins the game.

    Pour a glass of wine and get ready to conquer in this competitive solid game of Paris: La Cité de la Lumière. Try it, you’ll see why it’s one of the best two-player board games to exist.

    best board games for couples
    Board games are a great way to lighten up a dull evening at home with your partner

    2. Tiny Towns

    Tiny Towns allow you to showcase your architectural skills. In this couples board game, you get a 4×4 grid on which you are supposed to erect a tiny town. You have to make as many buildings as you can by using the maximum number of resources.

    Use pieces and cards to start creating your town. There are cards for each type of wooden building. Each card tells the pattern of cubes you will need for that particular building. You need to be quite efficient while planning your town and judiciously use the space available to you.

    The game ends when resources are exhausted. Whoever scores the most points wins the game. This is certainly one of the best 2-player board games for couples who love spatial activities.

    3. I Should Have Known That

    This one is for those competitive couples who like healthy competition. As the name suggests, ‘I Should Have Known That’ has questions that you should know the answers to. Such board games for couples help you unleash your competitive side by testing your trivia knowledge. Rules are quite easy. You lose points on a wrong answer but don’t get any points for correct answers.

    I Should Have Known That comes with 400 questions such as “Is a penguin a bird?” You will also find questions like “How long did Sleeping Beauty sleep?” The puzzle cards have a question on one side and the answer on the other. It won’t take much time before you hear one of you say, “Oh! I should have known that!”

    Two-player games that enable couples to expand their knowledge while having fun? Yes please. Plan your next date at home with this simple board game.

    4. St. Noire is one of the best board games for couples who love murder mysteries

    So, you love murder mysteries? Instead of watching them on TV, why not solve one? St. Noire is an Alexa-hosted board game. This is one of the best board games for couples. It is addictive and allows you to immerse yourself completely into the experience. It is also the first voice-controlled murder mystery board game.

    Related Reading: 21 Fun Party Games For Couples – Time To Let Your Hair Down!

    Get ready to don your detective hat and save St. Noire, a small town where a murder has happened. The killer has warned that they’ll strike again. You need to listen to the audio and play along. Find the clues, and trust no one as someone is lying. You have to find out the killer before the time runs out. This is a cooperative game that requires both of you to act as a team instead of competing with each other. It is one of the most fun games to play with your wife or husband.

    5. Love Lingual, the card game

    Love Lingual is a card game, which falls under the couples board games category. It is best for those who love conversations. This set of 150 cards has in-depth questions that will leave you cuddling and talking about things that matter in your lives. Whether your relationship is new or you have been married for a long time, this conversation starter game does its job well.

    For new couples, it acts as an icebreaker card game. However, for couples who have known each other for a long time, this game helps uncover that side of your partner which you might be unaware of. Such board games allow you to discuss questions regarding family, intimacy, past, and future. You can choose to stick to a particular topic or you can select cards from all the categories.

    For example, your card may have a question like, “What’s one memory that instantly makes you smile?” That’s what this game does. Makes you contemplate as well as relive old memories.

    6. Fog of Love

    If you love rom-coms, then you’ll probably find Fog of Love quite engaging. It is one of the best two-player games. You don’t play as yourself but as a character in a fictional love story. In this board game, you create a character and then understand it with the help of cards.

    There will be interesting scenarios, compromises, awkward and amusing situations for both of you before you can reach the end of the love story. You get to live different scenarios as a character. For example, you might play out an Awkward Situation scene and create your own unique love story. Truly a great game to show your creativity.

    7. Off-Topic is one of the best board games to play with your partner

    Off-Topic is “a game for those slightly off” as mentioned on its outer case. If you are a lively couple who believes fun is the sole purpose of life, then this one’s for you – Choose this game for your next date and it will surely leave both of you in stitches. Off-Topic is one of the best board games for couples who want to let their creative juices flow. It might seem simple but let us warn you, it could be quite challenging to come up with accurate responses in a limited time frame.

    In a total number of five rounds, the player who scores victory points in most of the rounds wins. In this game, both of you get a player board along with a marker and cards with the same number on them. Roll the dice, set the timer, and start writing. You can discuss your answers and exchange some hearty laughs. It takes just a minute to learn the rules of this game and you are ready to go.

    8. The Couples Game

    This is a fantastic game if you are a board game geek. This interactive game has witty questions to leave you in splits. Couples Game has 150 questions segregated across three categories – Match, Best, and Me Or You.

    Either you can play it as a couple or with your friends who have joined you for a double date. Such easy board games for couples are perfect for spending time with laughter and fun. However, if you are looking for a lovey-dovey and mushy game, you might want to skip it.

    9. Exploding Kittens

    Exploding Kittens is a deck card game and doesn’t directly come under the board games category. It is a kitty version of the lethal game Russian Roulette. In this game, both of you draw cards until somebody has to take an Exploding Kitten. That’s when they are out of the game.

    The only way you could win in this abstract strategy game is by maintaining a distance from the exploding kitten card. You need to implement the required actions to avoid that particular card. Perfect for date nights, picnics, and road trips, this two-player game is quite addictive and helps you de-stress.

    Related Reading: 17 Romantic Camping Ideas To Cozy Up To Your SO

    10. Codenames Duet

    If you like spy thrillers, then you will definitely like Codenames Duet. It is one of the best two players games that helps you push your intelligence. If you are running out of fun things to do with your partner at home, give this a shot.

    If you like cooperative board games, then this is perfect for you. You and your partner will have to find 15 agents in a crowded room. To get started, there are 25 word cards and clues. You or your partner will read the one-word clue and point to the agent you both think it is hinting at. If your answer is right, you find the next agent, and so on. This game will bring out your team spirit.

    More on happy couplesMore on happy couples

    11. Actually Curious

    One of the classic board games, Actually Curious is based on four primary colors – Blue, green, yellow, and red. It is a card game that helps you build trust and empathy with your partner. With a deck of 52 cards, you can get answers to questions like “How do you love?” and “What is one’s ultimate form of self-care?”

    The blue cards have the easiest of questions, followed by green, yellow, and red. The red ones help you find answers to the most intimate questions. Actually Curious comes in five editions – Curiosity Edition, The Happy Hour Edition, The Culture Edition, The Our Future Edition, and The Human Rights Edition.

    It is one of the most romantic board games for couples that also adds fun to their date nights. Be prepared for a session filled with self-reflection, light-hearted conversations, and deep emotional connections.

    12. UNO Dare is one of the lesser-known board games

    UNO is more popular than most of the board games available in the market. But not many of its fans know that the manufacturer of this fun game has another card game, UNO Dare, which is helping hundreds of couples know each other better.

    UNO Dare is one of the best games for shy lovers as certain cards add dares for the participants. While the rest of the cards remain the same, UNO Dare comes with 8 Dare cards, 8 Wild Dare cards, and 4 Dare List cards. The Dare List cards allow you to choose one of the four different dares: Family, Showoff, Daredevil, and House Rules. The best part is that you can decide your own special rules under the House Rules card.

    Pre-decided dares are hilarious, like one has to walk while holding a card between their knees. Make sure that the House Rule dares are fun-filled and don’t disappoint your companion.

    Related Reading: 40 Cute Things To Do With Your Girlfriend At Home

    13. Stet

    It is among the most popular board games for couples who have an interest in grammar and word games. So, if you and your partner love reading, then you should consider adding Stet to your date nights. Time will fly.

    This two-player board game requires participants to know the English language, at least at the high school level. Stet allows you to impress your bae with your language skills. It also allows you to tease your partner, but it is advisable to maintain the fun tone of the game and avoid insulting your loved one while showing off your skills. Once hooked on this one, you can look for similar board games that allow you to challenge each other’s knowledge.

    14. Sexopoly board game

    Sexopoly board game is an adult version of Monopoly, manufactured and sold by British sex toy company Lovehoney. Just like Monopoly, you use tokens to buy properties in Sexopoly. However, the game gives you chances to flirt and take sexual advantages. For example, if the other person can’t pay rent, you can ask them to take off their shirt.

    Playing with pieces like ‘pink beaver’ and ‘cute puppies’ adds to the excitement. This two-player game allows you to build your adult empire by buying real estate like Meryl Strips’ film studio and Spearmint Hippo strip club.

    The game can help you rediscover the spark in your relationship and promises maximum adult entertainment when you are alone with your partner. Sexopoly is best suited for couples with wild fantasies as you get rewards for interesting ideas.

    15. Easy board games for couples will always include Twister

    If you are bored of small board games, then Twister is for you as it is played on a large mat with four colors in six rows. Twister allows you to be physically close to your partner, making it one of the most exciting games for couples. Bring out the kid in you and make your date night lively and entertaining. You can make your own rules to add intimacy.

    The game involves a spinner that decides where you have to place your hand or foot. Eventually, you would see your body tied up in knots with your partner’s. When the game involves two players, they can’t place a hand or foot in the same circle. To keep up with the competition, both partners try to reach unlikely positions until one of them falls. For shy lovers in a newfound relationship, this game can strengthen their bond, both physically and mentally.

    16. 36 Questions

    The best love stories are based on conversations. And that’s where games like 36 Questions come in handy. These questions aim to bring two strangers close and make them fall in love. It is one of the most interesting board games for couples online.

    The original website allows you and your partner to participate in a click-through game. To begin, one has to read a question on the screen out loud to their partner (and the next question will be taken up by the other partner, and so on). Questions like “Before making a telephone call, do you ever rehearse what you are going to say? Why?” help you engage in a fun yet deep conversation with each other.

    17. Yahtzee

    While most board games for couples need a lot of accessories, Yahtzee is the only game that is played with only five dice and a dice shaker. You have to roll the dice and make certain combinations based on various scoring categories. The first to score 50 points has to yell “Yahtzee” out loud. The highest scorer after multiple rounds is declared the winner.

    Primarily, it’s not a romantic game, but who’s stopping you from using your creative mind to add fun and intimacy to it? Just add conditions and house rules that allow you to give the wildest dares to your partner.

    Related Reading: 100 Romantic Questions To Ask Your Girlfirend And Make Her Heart Melt

    18. Machi Koro is one of the most fun board games for couples date night

    Do you know it’s one of the most popular Japanese board games? It allows participants to act as the Mayor of Machi Koro, develop a city, and complete it based on landmarks. Your aim is to reach all the top landmarks before your partner.

    Participants take turns to roll a die or two dice to reach the landmarks. However, your die can sometimes help your partner as well. One after the other, you erect all of your landmarks. It’s a fast-paced game and gives you enough time to make some wild plans for the night.

    19. Talk Flirt Dare

    If you have already tried many board games for couples and still feel bored, then the Talk Flirt Dare card game could be a great choice for you. This card game encourages couples to enjoy real conversations and get rid of screens for some time. Using Talk Flirt Dare, you can ask the most personal questions to your partner.

    Get to know some of the deepest truths about your partner’s life, flirt to spice things up, and give dares that come straight to your dirty mind. You can have so much fun with this simple game. Simultaneously, it also gives you a chance to share your intimate secrets with your loved one. Sounds fun already? Shuffle the cards and explore your wild side with your lover.

    2 player board games for couples2 player board games for couples
    You can try flirty dare games to spice things up in the relationship

    20. TableTopics Couples

    TableTopics Couples is a great board game. It is a conversation starter pack of 135 cards. You get cards with questions like “What’s the most romantic thing your partner has done for you?” From here onward, it’s your answers that will excite your boo. You can look forward to a deep and romantic conversation with your partner on this date night.

    Whether in a new relationship or married for 50 years, couples’ cards by TableTopics are ideal for all types of couples. Even if you know your partner inside out, these play cards will bring out something new every time. From hilarious answers to meaningful conversations, it’ll help you create magic with your lover. Unlike other adult cards, you can keep the TableTopics Couples card on your coffee table.

    Related Reading: 31 Funny Ways To Start A Text Conversation And Get Responses!

    21. Azul

    Last on our list of board games, Azul is a game in which you claim tiles, place them on a board, and compete to score points. Players score points for collecting tiles of the same colors or creating a particular pattern. All this makes it one of the best board games for couples date night.

    While it can also be played with friends and family, Azul adds fun to a relationship when played between a couple. It’s because when you arrange tiles to claim your score, you might inadvertently help your opponent. You can trick, tease, and engage in hilarious conversations with your partner and make lasting memories.

    Key Pointers

    • Board games are the best way to bond with your partner if you don’t want to step out of your house for a date. Whether you are in a new relationship or a mature one, board games have something for everyone
    • Just make sure that you choose the right one from our curated list of board games for couples, as per your and your partner’s interests
    • Some board games not only entertain the couples but also bring them physically and emotionally close to each other

    You don’t need to go out every time on a date. Make date night arrangements with your spouse at home. Order some snacks, beverages, and spice up your date night through such activities. Wanna know the best part about board games for couples? After you’ve won, you get bragging rights and can tease your partner all day long!

    So, shuffle your cards and roll your dice, and allow your favorite board games to bring both of you close together. You can easily find them at your local market. You can even choose from multiple board games for couples online on e-commerce sites.

    FAQs

    1. Are board games good for relationships?

    Board games are incredibly efficient at keeping the spark alive in relationships. While the new couples come closer with board games, mature relationships strengthen further. Board games not only allow lovers to have fun and tease each other, but also teach them a lesson about cooperation and teamwork. 

    Most games allow up to eight participants. You can even propose these board games at a friend’s gathering. Who knows, one might get lucky after a game session.

    2. How do games build relationships?

    Playing games with your partner is a fun way to engage with them and strengthen the relationship. Some games need you to team up with your bae while others foster your competitive nature. Whatever the game is, you get to know each other better as you play along. A cooperative game with a mutual goal helps you display your teamwork and push each other to win the game. 

    Board games help you both break the monotony and spend some quality time together. Some of the best board games create a path for clear and deep conversations, which are crucial to building long-lasting relationships. Even when you play against each other, you engage in healthy competition which makes space for fun and flirting.

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  • Cute Pet Names For Couples: Romantic Couple Nicknames

    Cute Pet Names For Couples: Romantic Couple Nicknames

    ‘Pooh Bear’, ‘Won Won’, ‘Catnip’, or even ‘Mrs. Darcy’ are a few of the pet names for couples that rarely make sense yet are sweet nicknames or arguably even the best nicknames. You could spend days trying to understand the evolution of these but there’d be little point to it. Nicknames rarely follow rules of grammar and most of them come to life from a random incident (read Starbucks’ baristas messing up your names). Nicknames are meant to be used affectionately, not dissected in a linguistics class.

    “What’s in a name?” said Shakespeare. But nicknames often have more substance than names. Good couple nicknames, even if they’re not logical, tell a story of their own. Unlike names that are given to a person, a nickname is earned. Unless it’s one of those shortened versions of a name like Robert, it becomes Rob. But doesn’t your best friend or your other half deserve more originality than that? Don’t they deserve creative nicknames? They do and we’ve got you covered.

    Unique Couple Nicknames

    Pet names for couples have come a long way from ‘beloved’ to ‘bae’ and from ‘ sweetie pie’ to ‘sweet cheeks’. Unique couple nicknames have been observed to create a positive effect on a relationship. Research has suggested a direct correlation between interpersonal love language and relationship satisfaction. They observed that ‘idiosyncratic communication’, i.e., nicknames, expressions of affection, and any other ‘couple speak’ or phrases or jokes developed within the relationship, are associated with relationship satisfaction. Let’s check out a few that have out-of-the-ordinary names, like Shining Armour Bugs, Love Bugs, or Arrow Chip:

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    1. Muffin and donut

    If both of you have a sweet tooth, names of desserts could be good ideas for pet names for couples. This could also be a cute way to say “I like you” over text. Such a sweet nickname!

    2. Duke and Duchess

    Move over the prince and princess. The best way to address your partner is by using the highest hereditary title as a cute couple’s name. More titles that you could use could be ‘Earl’ and ‘Countess’, ‘Knight’ and ‘Dame’, and ‘Baron’ and ‘Baroness’.

    3. Cathy and Heathcliff

    Something for the bookworm souls. You could also choose a less star-crossed couple for nicknames for couples, like ‘Miss Bennet’ and ‘Mr. Darcy’, or something not-so-romantic like ‘Ishmael’ and ‘Moby Dick’. Maybe an idea for matching bios for couples

    4. Beau and mi Amor

    For couples who belong to different nationalities, a great idea would be to use terms of endearment from their language or from their significant other’s. Other examples include ‘Estimado’, ‘Papi’, ‘Schatz’, ‘Eazizi’, or affectionate words from any languages that you are familiar with. 

    5. Captain Peach-butt and Catwoman

    If both of you are into superhero culture, then maybe you can adopt a few superhero names to match your personalities. This could be such a fun thing to do as a couple. However, it’d be advisable to keep these pet names for couples in the bedroom if they’re sexually suggestive.

    6. ‘My sun and stars’ and ‘moon of my life’

    These terms of endearment from the series Games of Thrones could be found on merchandise everywhere after the first season. If you’re into fantasy, you could use a good couple nicknames from fantasy books or series.

    Related Reading: 15 Custom-Made Personalized Couple Gifts

    7. Cherry blossom and buttercup

    You can never go wrong with flower names to suggest romance. These are some of the perfect nicknames. Some people wrongfully consider flower names to be effeminate. Nicknames for couples don’t have to follow conservative gender roles.

    8. My lord and my lady

    For the couple who is big on the formality of the British class system. Salutations like these or ‘Your Honor’ and ‘Your Grace’ would work perfectly for you. This is such a cute thing to say to your boyfriend, girlfriend, or partner. 

    9. Bobby and Bobby

    Something that you could do is use the same nickname for each other if you want unique pet names for couples. Useless but fun fact: my husband and I use the nickname ‘Poopy’ for each other. The name came into being the day both of us contracted diarrhea and we decided to keep track of who pooped more in a day. The bottom line is that love is stupid.

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    10. Charm Boy and Stats

    The best thing to use for nicknames for couples is to use the personality traits of your significant other. While reading Bet Me by Jennifer Cruise, I realized that everyone had some sort of nickname that suggested their personalities, like ‘Charm Boy’ for the charming Cal, who everyone thought was a womanizer, and ‘Stats’ for Min, who would constantly throw statistical facts at people. And it was the same for their couple friends. Find these kinds of creative pet names for your lover boy, or girl.  

    Romantic Pet Names For Lovers

    Researchers show that using nicknames that are ‘cutesy’ can increase the attraction one’s partner feels for them. It’s best to look for verbal and non-verbal cues to ensure your partner likes their nickname. Here are a few romantic nicknames you can use for your partner, regardless of their gender.

    1. Babyface

    If your boyfriend or husband is one of those people whose face looks like it hasn’t aged a day since he was born, then maybe this nickname will work great for him. It’s just a super cute way to express your feelings to someone you love.

    2. Dumpling

    Dumplings, momos, or dim sum are great romantic pet names for lovers 

    3. McDreamy

    Grey’s Anatomy fans will remember this one as the best and most common pet names for couples. The name suits a couple who are full of charm and have great looks. This name could also be left on cute notes for him that would surprise your man every day.

    4. Dreamboat

    It’s a charming pet name to call your loved one. Using “Dreamboat” can be a delightful way to express your admiration and affection for your partner.

    5. Teddy bear

    Take a leaf out of Elvis’ notebook and call your partner your teddy bear. Tell them they remind you of the teddy bear you slept with in your childhood. Ever so soft and always present to ward off any monsters under the bed. This is the most common pet names for couples yet it is so beautiful, like a cutie patootie.

    6. Yum-yum

    Another great name for your partner, is if you think they’re so cute and good looking that you could just eat them up. Or ‘Nom-nom’ if they love food. It could be one of those cute nicknames to call your boyfriend, girlfriend, or partner. 

    7. Rio

    If you are a Money Heist fan or maybe a ServiceNow developer, city names work great as nicknames for couples. Particularly the names of the characters in the show.

    Related Reading: 31 Best Baby Shower Gifts For Dad And Mom To Be

    8. Butters

    Fun fact: in certain cultures, butter is often used as a term of endearment. Another cute name for your partner is Butters, if they’re just as soft and make everything smooth and decadent.

    9. Hot Pie

    Game of Thrones added a lot of words to the modern lexicon. But Hot Pie, as a couple’s nickname for your partner, is an underdog.  

    10. Hunky-dory

    One of the other cute nicknames for couples apart from Hundy-dory  is ‘ My Knight Sailor’, that not only suggests cuteness but is also a term used to express satisfaction  

    cute couple names for boyfriend and girlfriend
    Using cute nicknames for your partner can be considered an assurance of a stable relationship

    Cute Nicknames For Couples

    Nicknames connote an intimacy reserved for partners in a relationship. Often, nicknames also suggest normalcy in a relationship. Many people can recognize the hints of trouble when their first names or full names are used by their significant others. So, as long as none of the partners have an issue with the nickname, any pet names for couples can be adopted, and usage over time will become a code for a relaxed environment. 

    Using cute nicknames for your partner can be considered an assurance of a stable relationship. It’s almost like a relaxing gift to relieve stress. Here are cute nicknames for your partner;

    1. Sassy

    Fans of Korean cinema would recognize this. If your partner is sassy, cheeky, or just plain badass in cute unicorn shorts, then this could be the name for them.

    Related Reading: Love Vs Attachment: Is It Real Love? Understanding The Difference

    2. Angel eyes

    Angel Eyes would work great as a pet name for couples if you think your partner is an angel that landed on Earth to take care of you.

    3. Galway girl

    You could always use names representing your partner’s roots to show affection for your partner. Ed Sheeran did. So, if your girl uses ‘wee’ and ‘grand’ a bit too often in that delicious Irish accent, this is the name for her. 

    4. Barbie

    If your partner looks like a full-sized Barbie or is crazy about these dolls (grown-ups are allowed to like dolls), then it could be the name for her.

    5. Shortie

    Do not underestimate short people. They compensate for the short height by doing death-defying stunts just to get that jar off the high shelf. And isn’t it so adorable to hug them? This could be a cute pet name for couples.

    6. Tall glass of water

    If your partner is what makes you relaxed on a hot, tiring day, like a tall glass of water, then this is the name for them. This nickname could also be a great tip for dating a taller woman.

    7. Baby girl

    As much as I have said ‘ugh’ to 365 Days, I can’t deny how great it would be to get called ‘Baby girl’ by someone hot like Massimo, but who doesn’t belong to a mafia family or thinks that Stockholm syndrome is a great way to get a girl to fall in love with you.

    Related Reading: Plenty 0f Fish Reviews – Is It Worth It In 2022?

    8. Chocolate

    This name works well for your partner if you think they’re as sweet and smooth as chocolate. However, if you’re white, I would recommend not using such nicknames for couples on the basis of skin color. You could mean it as a compliment, but it may have racist connotations. You can substitute it with ‘honey bunny’ instead.

    9. Spring

    This could mean either the beautiful season that you associate with the relationship you have with your partner or just the fact that they’re constantly excited and want to try new things. You could use this name while writing a love paragraph for her.

    10. Sassenach

    For Outlander fans, this is a pet name for couples if you are Scottish and she is from a different land. You could also try similar names in your language, as long as they’re not offensive or have problematic roots.

    Funny Nicknames For Couples

    Nicknames can also be nostalgic for good times. Using a nickname from a funny incident or an inside joke may help keep the love alive during trying times. Ensure that you use cute couple names for boyfriend and girlfriend that don’t carry a negative connotation. Avoid using pet names for couples that are reminders of embarrassing incidents. A lot of us make this mistake and do such mean things in the name of love.

    1. Popsicle

    I had a friend named Poppy, whom everyone called Popsicle. If your significant other has a name that can be linked to something fun, do that. Another perfect pet name is ‘vine poppyseed’ or ‘ jewel snowflake’. 

    2. Honeybun

    Isn’t Honeybun the cutest pet name for couples you’ve heard? This could also be something teasing if your partner has the habit of wearing buns. Giving each other nicknames is also part of the 9 crucial stages of a long-term relationship.

    3. Choo choo

    If your partner is obsessed with trains and keeps raving about them to whoever they meet, maybe this could be one of the really funny nicknames for couples.

    4. Better half

    A pet name for couples who have no issues agreeing that their partner is indeed the better half of the relationship. Calling each other by such nicknames could be a lovely way to date your spouse or partner.

    5. Angry Bird

    You know when a person is so cute-looking that somehow they look cuter and way more adorable when they’re angry? If your partner is like that, then this is the name for them.

    6. Captain Cook

    If your significant other is good in the kitchen, or if their cooking was the reason you connected with them, then such nicknames for couples would work well. Cooking together can also be a cute fall date idea to keep your romance alive.

    7. Alexa

    You can call them Alexa if they appear to know everything and are constantly offering well-meaning advice. It is better to remember not to use this nickname around the AI device to avoid confusion.

    Related Reading: 32 Gifts For Yoga Lovers – Unique Gift Ideas For Yogis

    8. Liquid

    If your partner gets angry at the smallest thing but ends up looking cuter or even funnier during those times, then Liquid is the name. Because liquids tend to boil when heated, like the angry bird, Liquid is another pet name for couples that will suit this cute, angry person. 

    9. Squirrel

    This is an excellent name if your partner has hoarder tendencies and appears to be cunning at getting things from people. But don’t use it as a pick-up line for guys since a stranger may not take well to being called a rodent.

    10. Martini

    Martini, Cosmos, or LIIT—any cocktail name can be used as a pet name for couples if they tend to turn into different human beings after a few drinks.

    Matching Couple Names

    Matching names for couples serves as a heartfelt way to express affection and reinforce the emotional bond between partners. They create an exclusive, intimate connection, adding an element of fun and playfulness to the relationship. Below are a few matching lovey dovey names for couples: 

    1. Lovebirds 

    Lovebirds—that passionate love that’s young, irrespective of age. This couple is inseparable, and their love is as strong as the bond between birds of a feather, always flying together. Other such cute names list can include, ‘sweet pea’, cutie pie’ etc. 

    2. Soulmates

    Calling your partner your soulmate is the most vulnerability you can show through a single word. They are two halves of one whole, finding completeness and eternal love in each other’s presence. 

    3. Heartthrobs

    It’s not just Henry Cavill that makes your heart race, but also your partner. Their love makes hearts skip a beat, and they are the envy of all who witness the deep passion they share.

    4. Eternal Flames

    Their love burns brightly, never dimming, like an eternal flame that lights up their lives with warmth and devotion.

    5. Sun and Moon

    This is one of the best matching couple names. They are the perfect balance, with one being the light of the other’s life, and together, they create a harmonious universe.

    Sexy Couple Nicknames

    Nicknames for couples are not just pet names you use because the original name is too long (though understandable). They’re supposed to be code names that only you and your partner understand. This adds an additional layer of intimacy to your relationship, so it must be chosen carefully.

    1. Steamrunner

    It’s a great name for someone who makes you feel as if you’ve been standing in a sauna with just a glance. This could be one of the sexy names to give him for more intimacy or for her when she uses that come-hither look on you.

    2. Atlas

    If your partner has a body that looks like it could lift the world, then this is probably the pet name for couples you could call him.

    3. Cowboy/girl

    Cowboys have been the epitome of masculine sexuality for as long as I can remember. I don’t even have to explain the sexy connotations of a cowgirl—this would make a great couple nickname for her.

    4. Sugar daddy/mama

    This could be one of the most sexy couple nicknames for those who have a large age gap and do not care about what others think of them. It could also be a sweet thing to say to your girlfriend in a text.

    5. Sir/madam

    Something for those who are into BDSM and won’t say no to a sexual power play. More such terms could be ‘master’ and ‘mistress’.

    cute pet names for couplescute pet names for couples

    6. Senpai

    If you’re familiar with Japanese manga, this term has been around for a while. Though it literally means someone senior, don’t be surprised if you were to find a Hentai using this term for a sexually aroused but physically toned demon.

    7. Alpha

    For someone who has read too many fantasy novels and has been using werewolves and vampires as Halloween costumes for couples, Alpha sounds like just the right pet name for couples.

    8. Firepants

    I had a habit of saying “Liar, liar, pants on fire” to my husband. He began to claim that his pants were always on fire. And that’s how he became known as Firepants in the bedroom.

    9. Officer McNaughty

    Another nickname for those role-playing nights where you pretend to have been caught going over the speed limit and can’t pay or for the days outside the bedroom for a better sex life.

    10. Rosebud

    Depending on which decade we’re talking about, it could mean sexual organs of either the male or female body. It could be the secret pet name for couples, which could mean a sexy night after a long time.

    You could choose a generic nickname for your special someone in a long-term or new relationship, like ‘babe’, ‘honeybun’, or ‘muffin’, or think of unique pet names for couples. Something that comes from their name is always great, like Marshmallow and Lilypad from Marshall and Lily in How I Met Your Mother. But do ensure that your partner doesn’t have any issues with the nickname, as this is one of the must-follow healthy relationship boundaries. In spite of what Shakespeare said, there’s a whole power play in a nickname.

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  • Am I Ready For A Relationship? 13 Signs You’re Ready To Embrace Love

    Am I Ready For A Relationship? 13 Signs You’re Ready To Embrace Love

    Am I ready for a relationship? This is a common question that echoes through our minds sometimes. Love is a beautiful process, yet there are complexities that can bring in a level of fear. You may have been in what you thought was a love relationship. However, some traumatic experiences in the past may have introduced serious doubt. So, for a long time, you have been fighting the urge to look for a romantic partner.

    Before making a foray into this transformative experience, you must be fully ready to embrace the good and the bad. Today, let’s explore whether you are truly ready for true love and a meaningful relationship. We share 13 indicators that will give you clarity on whether it is time for you to take this significant step in your life.

    Is There Really Such A Thing As Being Ready For A Relationship?

    The concept of being ready for a relationship is rather subjective. It varies from person to person, and no one-fits-all answer will suffice. Relationship readiness depends on individual circumstances, emotional maturity, and relationship goals.

    To know whether you are ready for a relationship, you need clarity on two major issues.

    • Am I truly ready for a relationship?
    • Am I ready for a relationship or just lonely?

    Without a doubt, both are complex and deeply personal questions. It is a self-discovery process involving evaluating your goals, emotional state, and desires. A Reddit user shared an excellent insight, “The biggest piece of advice I see about dating is that you’re ready to date when you are happy with yourself. I felt like I was, but after a whirlwind romance and crippling dating anxiety, I took a step back and realized maybe I wasn’t as ready as I thought.”

    Related Reading: 9 Expert Ways To Let Go Of Hurt And Betrayal In Relationships

    It’s important to understand that loneliness can mask true readiness for a relationship. Take a minute for some introspection. Let’s look at the following signs you’re not ready for a relationship:

    • Unresolved past issues: It’s important that you don’t enter a relationship with too much emotional baggage from previous ones. You are still in the stage where you’re wondering how to date again after being hurt. So, take your time to heal
    • Lack of self-discovery: Do you have clarity on who you are as a person, your needs, and your boundaries? If not, it’s not time to let somebody into your life as a partner
    • Seeking a partner only for validation: Are you using the relationship to fill an emotional void? Or are you seeking validation from a partner constantly? If the answer to these questions is yes, take a step back. You are still not ready for a healthy, balanced, successful relationship
    • Commitment fears: Do you get anxious at the thought of entering a committed relationship? You find you’re unwilling to invest the time or effort to nurture a relationship. That is a clear sign that you are not ready to date again
    • Desperation to find love: Are you displaying any signs of rushing into a relationship? The reasons for this could be various, including pressure from society, family, and friends. There’s also the fear of being alone or the perception of aging without a partner

    Take care of these issues before trying to find love. Without this, the chances of finding love, happiness, and fulfillment are difficult.

    Am I ready for a relationship or just lonely

    Checklist before getting into a relationship

    Do you know how to identify signs that you are not ready for a relationship? Answer the following questions to gauge how emotionally ready you are to create a romantic bond.

    • Have you healed, or are healing from past relationship wounds?
    • Do you clearly understand what you want in a partner and the relationship?
    • Are you ready for commitment and are emotionally available to invest in new connections?
    • Are you established in your own life? Do you have personal interests and goals which are independent of a partner?
    • Are you looking for a serious relationship?

    There’s a need for introspection to truly gauge if you are looking for a serious relationship. Answering the above questions requires transparency on your part. By taking a deep dive into each, you will know when to get into a relationship with someone who’s ready to be a partner too.

    13 Signs You’re Emotionally Ready For A Healthy Relationship

    Let’s explore 13 signs that show you are emotionally ready for a relationship. Whether you feel you are of the right age to be in a relationship or not, many Reddit users agreed you should not rush the process. One Reddit user says that one should consider the time between the breakup with your ex and getting into a new romantic bond. Can you be in a new relationship without constantly comparing it to the previous one? Another user threw in some nuggets too: You should not be thirsty to meet someone. Confidence to be single and self-happiness are important.

    More on relationship advice

    1. The thought of true love excites you

    Well, are you starting to have feelings about being in a relationship? Yes, your past might have had its challenges with regards to dating and romance. However, you can’t help but feel excited about the prospect of being in a new one. Fleeting thoughts about romance and how good it feels are becoming more common. Well, that could be a clear sign that you are ready to explore romance.

    2. Self-awareness contributes to being ready for love

    Self-awareness is a fundamental aspect of personal development and emotional intelligence. indeed, emotional intelligence in relationships will make love last forever.

    Let’s look at some self-awareness examples that let you know when to get into a relationship.

    • You understand and recognize your own thoughts, motivations, strengths, weaknesses, and values
    • You are able to reflect upon your own experiences and gain insight into your behavior. You also know how they can impact others, including your potential partner
    • You can navigate the nuanced feelings when you get into a relationship because you have a good grasp of your emotions
    • You will not rush into relationships due to societal pressure
    • You don’t get angry when others express opinions contrary to your own
    • Self-awareness enhances resilience. You would not be afraid to date again after a long relationship. You are able to adapt to challenges and situations while taking steps to cope effectively
    • Also, past emotional baggage would never factor into the new relationship because you have let go of it

    Related Reading: 11 Things To Describe True Feelings Of Love

    3. You are emotionally stable

    Do you know how to decide if you want a relationship? Well, emotional stability is a critical factor. It indicates your overall well-being. Emotional stability in relationships looks like this:

    • You can maintain a balanced and consistent emotional state even under the most stressful situations
    • You have resilience, steadiness, self-regulation, adaptability, and a positive outlook to life
    • You are invested in having a successful relationship
    • You also have effective coping strategies, empathy, and mindfulness. It reflects in how you communicate with other people and the fact that you already have healthy relationships in your life

    If you need to heal, you take positive steps like seeking professional help from counselors or therapists or from close friends and support systems, showing you want to be ready for commitment. You’re committed to improving yourselves before getting into a relationship with another person.

    4. Your past is in the past

    You can’t be ready for the next relationship if you’re still clinging to the past. That’s probably a deal-breaker for your future partner. So, it’s time to leave the past where it is, including:

    • Unhealed trauma from a previous relationship
    • Past relationships, including that ex you thought you’d spend the rest of your life with. A good sign is to be able to talk to them without attaching any romantic significance to the conversations

    If you are asking “Am I ready to date again?” here’s the gist: You’re not emotionally ready if you keep dragging the past into your present relationship, while moving forward and embracing new relationships is a sign that you are ready to date again. There should be no strings attached to the past. You are a whole new person, looking for a new partner. Life is best enjoyed in the here and now.

    5. How do you know when to get into a relationship? When your ‘alone’ does not mean lonely

    Am I ready for a relationship or just lonely? Clarity will come when you can differentiate between being alone and being lonely. If you’ve been through a breakup, then you know how grief often gives us tips to deal with loneliness. Being able to spend time in your own company and feeling complete eventually is a good sign that you understand the difference.

    Your new partner’s role is not to fill the empty void in your life. Rather, it is to complement what you bring to the relationship table. You should feel fulfilled with your life, even without a partner. According to an article on Medical News Today, there are ways to feel better despite being alone. These include taking up hobbies, volunteering, prioritizing self-care, taking a break from social media, and more.

    Here’s how we know you like your company and that you don’t need a partner to find happiness:

    • You have important things to do that you look forward to
    • You like being silly on your own
    • You love spending time alone and don’t keep trying to distract yourself by calling others or trying to make plans to meet up
    • Your time goes into building yourself, finding peace, happiness, and creating the future you want

    Related Reading: 12 Warning Signs Of An Emotionally Unstable Partner And How To Cope

    6. You prioritize self-love

    If you can’t love yourself, how do you expect to love somebody else? Spend time learning how to appreciate and prioritize yourself. Surround yourself with family and friends who boost you. With self-love, you will be the best version of yourself as you enter a new relationship. Also, learn how to love yourself in a relationship setup as well to not forget yourself in all the love you receive.

    7. You know what you want in a partner

    Going with the flow is great. Knowing what you want from a partner is a lot better, for both you and them. Let’s learn from your last relationship.

    • There may have been a lack of commonalities between your ex and you — You don’t want that anymore
    • Neither of you had realistic expectations of what you wanted in a partner. This time, you’re stepping into the world of romance with eyes wide open
    • You know what didn’t work in your last relationship. You’ve analyzed it objectively and this time, you won’t let red flags slip your notice
    • You have also taken steps to ensure that you give the best version of yourself to your future partner

    Related Reading: 9 Signs Of Unhealthy Compromise In A Relationship

    8. You’re ready to enter the dating scene

    Dating after having been in a long relationship can be daunting. This is especially true if the experience was bad. You may be suffering from your own issues, such as self-doubt and low self-esteem. Past trauma keeps coming up, and sometimes, you overthink your own issues. Yet the thought that you can start dating again is certainly exciting.

    In fact, you are even exploring dating apps and sites, hoping to get a good catch for a long-term relationship. Insights from a recent study on online dating suggest that 42% of adults agree that online dating has eased the search for long-term partners and 43% believe the dating sites provide enough dating options. You, too, can take advantage of such platforms to meet potential partners.

    9. You don’t fall into the ex-trap

    Falling into the ex-trap is a sign you’re not ready for a relationship. The trap could be self-imposed, where you still hold feelings or desire for them. Or it could be a willingness to connect with your ex-partner because they have reached out. Remember, your ex-partner may just be using you as a placeholder as they search for someone else. Or maybe they’ve moved on and want to be friends with you, but you’re not ready for that.

    Moving forward means letting go of the ex and getting ready to embrace a better romance. For the sake of your self-esteem, it is time to let go of that ex who has moved on or the one who’s playing games with you.

    10. How does one know when to get into a relationship? When you know your worth in your partner’s life

    Do you feel like you did not know your worth with your last partner? You are wondering how to date again after being hurt. Do you ask yourself, how will I find myself ready to love again? Well, your ex-partner may have wreaked havoc on your self-esteem. But moving forward means you understand your value and what you bring to the relationship. And you will demand the same from your partner.

    Research suggests that “… if we have low self-esteem, we often put ourselves in situations that keep our self-esteem low. For example, we may choose a romantic partner that puts us down.” It also states that “… if we’re overly concerned about how others see us, we might not be authentic or share our vulnerabilities. We may also unconsciously manipulate other people to see us in ways that make us feel good.”

    11. You have been single for some time

    ready for commitment
    Being alone does not mean being lonely

    How soon should you go back to dating after a breakup? True, there is comfort in having a partner in life. So, from a young age, you didn’t allow yourself to be single. Well, the revolving door of partners may be impacting your ability to get into a long-term healthy relationship. Allowing yourself to be single for some time allows you to fully heal from the past relationship and does wonders for self-worth. It also gives you time for introspection and clarity on what you could be doing wrong. There are other science-backed reasons for why being single is beneficial.

    • You have space and scope to think clearly
    • There’s more time for physical activities
    • Singles are better at maintaining friendships
    • Sometimes, being single allows you to be financially better off

    Moving forward into a new relationship requires time and careful thought. We go back to your question: “Am I ready for a relationship or just lonely?” Surround yourself with friends. Find fun activities to keep you occupied. Most people would rather jump into relationships than face the fear of being alone.

    Related Reading: The 12 Mantras Of Being Happily Single While You Are Single

    12. You are happy when suitors approach you

    What are the signs you will find love? Well, interest from potential suitors is one. But you may not be ready to find love if you react negatively every time a potential suitor approaches you. For instance, men approach the ones they like by buying them a drink at the bar (without expecting the other to date them.) But instead of seeing it as a flirtatious move, you attach negative connotations to it. If you feel irritated or inconvenienced every time suitors shoot their shot, you may not be ready to enter the dating scene.

    13. One of the essential signs you will find love: You can compromise

    Compromises are an integral part of any successful relationship. Lack of compromises are definite deal-breakers. Expecting your partner to respond to your every need or whim is not realistic. The right person will compromise for you, and you must do the same for them.

    Key Pointers

    • Before entering the dating scene, answer the question: Am I ready for a relationship or just lonely?
    • Signs you’re not ready for a relationship include emotional instability, unresolved past trauma, and fear of commitment
    • Seek professional help to deal with the breakup if necessary
    • Letting go of the past relationship allows you to embrace new ones. Only start dating if you are emotionally ready
    • You need to be honest and ready to compromise if you want to enter a long-term relationship

    Love is an exciting, profound, and transformative experience. There is no reason that we should not all experience it. But before entering the dating scene, it’s important to have clarity. Outline your expectations, goals, desires, motivations, and needs. Next, consider these 13 signs you’re ready to enter a relationship. Remember, as you seek healing, it is alright to be single. When you prioritize yourself and understand your true value, only then can you offer something concrete to the right person. They are out there for you, ready to find true love, just like you.

    FAQs

    1. Can you really be ready for a relationship?

    Am I ready for a relationship? Only you can determine the answer through introspection. Have you let go of your past relationships? Do you have realistic expectations for the next one? Have you determined whether it’s loneliness or societal pressure that is pushing you into getting into a relationship? Clarity on such key issues should be the guiding factor in determining whether you’re ready for a real relationship. 

    Is it OK to date if you’re not ready for a relationship?

    It is okay to enter the dating scene even if you’re not ready for a relationship. But you must go into it with complete honesty with your potential romantic partner. Remember that people date for various reasons. Casual dating, for instance, provides a way to have fun with no strings attached. Or maybe you think you don’t have the right age to be in a relationship but still want to go on dates. So, knowing your expectations and motivations is critical.

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  • Understanding Hysterical Bonding: What It Is And Why It Happens

    Understanding Hysterical Bonding: What It Is And Why It Happens

    Hysterical bonding refers to an intense and often strained emotional or sexual connection between partners, following a crisis or betrayal in their relationship. In a committed relationship, it’s important to push healthy jealousy by openly expressing your feelings and boundaries. It helps in maintaining trust and respect in your relationship while interacting with others. However, when you find out your partner cheated on you, you may experience a wave of intense hysterical emotions. But what transpires if your emotions suddenly steer off-course? What if, in spite of your suffering, there is a desire to reunite with them, to soothe them, or to win them back? Confusion, loss and discomfort from the hurt of betrayal, despair, wrath, and even violence are all common reactions. 

    In this article, our expert, relationship coach Nandita Rambhia (MSc, Psychology), who specializes in CBT, REBT, and couple’s counseling, addresses the issues regarding hysterical bonding and provides her valuable tips to effectively deal with the situation.

    Understanding Hysterical Bonding: What It Is And Why It Happens

    In recent years, hysterical bonding has attracted more and more attention as a psychological phenomenon, particularly in the context of romantic relationships and sexual affairs. It is a complicated and frequently perplexing emotional reaction that occurs when a person learns the other partner has cheated on them or has done something else that could threaten the relationship. This reaction is marked by a spike of emotional and sexual intimacy between the pair.

    The phrase ‘hysterical bonding’ was created to explain the seemingly contradictory behavior of getting closer to a partner who has caused you grief and emotional distress. One partner cheating on the other can be very stressful. Psychologists, therapists, and people negotiating the nuances of infidelity have all expressed interest in this idea. Understanding the causes of hysterical bonding is essential for anyone trying to make sense of their own experiences or support family members going through infidelity.

    Let’s learn how hysterical bonding affects people and take a look at some of its long term effects:

    Related Reading: 15 Worrying Signs You Are Begging For Love

    Why Does Hysterical Bonding Happen?

    Hysterical bonding occurs as a response to significant relationship crises, often involving betrayal, infidelity, or a perceived threat to the stability of the relationship. A dead bedroom can also lead to romantic relationship challenges, causing emotional distance and dissatisfaction between partners. Several psychological and emotional factors contribute to this phenomenon. Here are some of them:

    1. Fear of loss

    The primary driving force behind hysterical bonding is one partner’s fear of losing the relationship. When a crisis jeopardizes the connection, individuals may experience intense anxiety and insecurity about the future of their relationship. This fear of abandonment or separation can evoke strong feelings.

    Nandita says, “Hysterical bonding is a psychological response that can occur in relationships when a crisis, such as infidelity, occurs. It’s a way for individuals to cope with the intense emotions and pain associated with such situations.”

    2. Emotional turmoil

    The crisis itself generates a surge of anger, especially emotions such as betrayal, hurt, and confusion, and in some cases, even physical pain. These powerful feelings can create a need for emotional comfort and support. 

    During the phase of hysterical bonding, one partner sees the other in a new light, as the intense emotions and heightened connection reveal both the vulnerabilities and strengths of the relationship. Hysterical bonding becomes a way for partners to seek solace and constant reassurance in each other’s presence during this turbulent period.

    Related Reading: Emotional Dumping Vs. Venting: Differences, Signs, And Examples

    3. Desire for reassurance

    When trust is shattered or when a relationship is on the brink of collapse, the betrayed partner often seeks reassurance that the relationship can be salvaged. The intensified emotional and physical connection in the hysterical bonding phase can provide this reassurance, at least temporarily.

    Nandita explains, “During hysterical bonding, one partner may feel overwhelmed by the pain inflicted by the cheating partner. Simultaneously, they may grapple with feelings of inadequacy and may blame themselves for the relationship breakdown.”

    Constant need for reassurance is one of the reasons behind hysterical bonding

    4. Attachment and bonding 

    Hysterical bonding can be seen as a manifestation of our natural attachment and bonding mechanisms. In times of crisis, humans have a tendency to seek support from loved ones. When handled maturely, mild jealousy can give partners the chance to reaffirm their commitment to one another and deepen their emotional bond.

    It’s an instinctive response to emotional distress. In general, a guy’s behavior after a breakup can range from seeking new relationships to taking time to heal and reflect independently. 

    5. Coping mechanism

    Hysterical bonding serves as a coping mechanism to deal with the emotional turmoil caused by the crisis. The heightened intimacy provides a sense of stability and security in an otherwise chaotic and messy situation.

    Nandita explains, “The fear of losing the relationship can intensify the desire to continue it despite the hurt. This fear often propels individuals into a mode of desperately trying to salvage what remains.”

    6. Desire to repair and reconnect

    In many cases, individuals genuinely want the relationship to be sustained forever and to repair the damage done to it. Hysterical bonding can be an initial step toward reconciliation, as it fosters open communication and a willingness to address the issues that led to the crisis. Amid the tumultuous storm of hysterical bonding, people yearn for the forever calm waters of stability and emotional healing in their relationship.

    7. Hope for a better future

    Despite the pain and turmoil, individuals may hold onto the hope that the relationship can be better than it was before the crisis. Hysterical bonding can be driven by the belief that their connection is worth salvaging and improving upon. According to research, borderline personality disorder can intensify the emotional distress experienced during hysterical bonding.

    Related Reading: What Is Future Faking? Signs And How Narcissists Use Future Faking

    What Are The Signs Of Hysterical Bonding?  

    Identifying signs of hysterical bonding in a relationship is crucial for understanding the dynamics at play during a crisis and the potential impact on both partners. Some people find themselves unexpectedly turned on by infidelity in fantasy or role-play scenarios, but it’s important to distinguish between fantasy and the real-life consequences of infidelity on relationships and mutual trust.

    Nandita explains, “Hysterical bonding often surfaces when a crisis, like infidelity, shakes the foundation of a relationship. It’s a reaction to the emotional turmoil and betrayal that one partner has caused.”

    Here are some hysterical bonding signs and the behaviors associated with them:

    1. Intense emotional connection

    One of the most prominent signs of hysterical and trauma bonding is an unusually intense emotional connection from one partner. During the phase of hysterical bonding, a person may exhibit intense emotions and actions, driven by a desire to reconnect with their partner and bridge the emotional gap. This can manifest as heightened expressions of love, physical affection, and attachment. Partners may become more verbally affirming of their feelings for each other.

    2. Heightened physical intimacy

    Hysterical bonding is indicated by a spike in the physical intimacy in a relationship, thus affecting one’s sex life for the better. When the once passionate relationship turns into a dead bedroom scenario due to infidelity, it leads to hysterical bonding. On a similar note, some people may find themselves unexpectedly turned on by infidelity in fictional stories or fantasies, as the forbidden nature of such situations can sometimes trigger heightened arousal. 

    When facing repercussions from betrayal, partners frequently seek more sex to reaffirm their bond and dedication, probably trying to get back the impressive sex life they once had. This heightened physicality makes them initiate sex more often, thus offering reassurance and affirmation. This may involve acting like everything is okay, to bridge the emotional split.

    Nandita says, “People in a state of hysterical bonding may resort to increased emotional and sexual advances as a positive way to escape the pain and uncertainty. They might believe that by doing so, they can regain a sense of control or normalcy.”

    3. Fear and insecurity

    People frequently struggle with increased anxiety and low self-esteem about the future of their relationship during hysterical bonding. This makes them blindly dependent on their partner’s decision. A deep-seated fear of losing their relationship might be evoked by the emotional anguish and anxiety of abandonment. Clinginess or possessiveness might be a result of this fear, as they feel desperate and guilty to hold on to each other and stop any additional emotional suffering. And these actions come from a position of vulnerability.

    4. Desire for reassurance

    One of the most common hysterical bonding signs is the desire for constant reassurance. People frequently have a strong need for affirmation from one another in case of such bonding. They may experience extreme anxiety about the future of their relationship as a result of the emotional turmoil that comes with a crisis such as infidelity or splitting up. They actively look for reassurance in an effort to calm these fears. The very thought of separation haunts them. They may have:

    • An ongoing desire for reassurances that their relationship is still intact
    • A need for physical displays of affection like embraces and kisses
    • A thirst for affirmations 

    5. Overcoming betrayal or crisis

    Typically, hysterical bonding occurs after infidelity in a relationship. This bonding technique is frequently used by partners to deal with the intense feelings of hurt and disappointment that result from such betrayals. In this situation, an extreme emotional and physical connection serves as a bridge over the gap of betrayal, allowing partners to temporarily ease the stress and work toward reestablishing trust. The bottom line is that it’s a difficult procedure meant to mend a broken relationship.

    6. Mixed emotions

    Partners caught up in hysterical bonding frequently experience an emotional rollercoaster paired with self-doubt. This difficult and complicated process may cause a flurry of negative emotions, including rage, despair, hurt, and uncertainty. These feelings are triggered by the immediate shock of an infidelity, making it difficult to act rationally. This mental turmoil might cause unanticipated behavior. In an effort to shield themselves from additional suffering, they could alternate between clinging to their relationship with all their might and pushing their partner away. Such behavior highlights the difficult dynamics of hysterical bonding and the importance of communication and understanding in such stressful circumstances.

    Related Reading: Here’s How Being Clingy In A Relationship Can Sabotage It

    7. Neglecting underlying issues

    Hysterical bonding might unintentionally compel partners to avoid resolving the underlying causes of the problem at hand. The necessity for open and perhaps difficult conversations about the underlying issues might be overshadowed by the urge to recover the intimacy they previously shared. It provides some relief from the suffering and an illusion of normalcy amid the chaos. However, ignoring the underlying reasons for the breakdown can be harmful in the long run because unresolved problems frequently recur, possibly causing further conflict.

    8. Immediate focus on repair

    The emotional turmoil of situations such as adultery or a separation results in a strong desire for a quick reconciliation.  This causes people to feel as though they may soon lose everything. They might prioritize the relationship first and foremost as a result, while sometimes neglecting other facets of their lives, such as jobs, hobbies, or self-care. 

    A rapid healing process is preferred because of a deep fear of losing the bond they love. While their intensity may be a sign of their commitment, it’s important to maintain personal well-being than focus on a probable reconciliation.

    Nandita says, “Hysterical bonding is not a sustainable, long-term solution for relationship issues. It’s more of an immediate response to a crisis, and it might not address the root causes of the problems within the relationship.”

    more on dysfunctional relationships

    9. Reluctance to seek help

    Partners entrenched in hysterical bonding may resist seeking external assistance or therapy to confront the root causes of their relationship crisis. They might hold on to the belief that their intensified connection alone can heal the wounds and rebuild trust. This reluctance to seek professional guidance may delay the resolution of underlying issues that may have contributed to the crisis in the first place, prolonging the pain and uncertainty.

    10. Temporary nature

    Hysterical bonding offers temporary relief, as it typically tends to reach its peak in the immediate aftermath of a crisis, when overwhelming emotions run high. But it may gradually diminish as strong emotions stabilize or as the original issues resurface. A guy’s behavior after a breakup will depend on his individual emotional coping mechanism. Maybe he once actively pursued you, but has stopped now. The ephemeral nature of hysterical bonding underscores the importance of addressing the root causes of long-term relationship health. 

    Related Reading: Dos And Don’ts In A Long-Term Relationship

    11. Unhealthy dependency

    In certain instances, hysterical bonding creates an unhealthy emotional dependency between partners. They may become overly reliant on their relationship to provide emotional stability, creating a codependent dynamic and throwing their self-esteem and self-worth under the bus. 

    This can be problematic when it hinders individual growth and autonomy, potentially perpetuating a cycle of emotional instability if the relationship faces further challenges. Recognizing and addressing this dependency is crucial for achieving a healthier, more balanced partnership.

    How To Navigate Hysterical Bonding And Heal Yourself

    Is hysterical bonding good? Well, never. So, what comes after hysterical bonding? Overcoming hysterical bonding and healing yourself in the aftermath of a relationship crisis can be challenging but is essential for long-term emotional well-being. Here are some steps to help you cope with hysterical bonding:

    1. Recognize hysterical bonding

    Hysterical bonding makes a person vulnerable. It is a psychological phenomenon where individuals in crisis experience difficult emotions and an unhealthy attachment to their partner. It’s crucial to acknowledge this phenomenon when facing a relationship crisis. Hysterical bonding after a breakup is also pretty common. Understand that even hysterical emotions, like all other emotions, such as fear or insecurity, are normal responses to such situations. Only after recognizing this, can you begin to manage and address these feelings effectively.

    2. Seek support from trusted individuals

    During a relationship crisis, isolation can worsen emotional turmoil. Reach out to friends, family members, or a support group to provide a safe space for you to express your feelings and gain perspective on your situation. Make them knock some common sense into you so you don’t end up making impulsive decisions. Connecting with others who care about you can offer emotional support and prevent you from feeling alone in your struggles. They can help you stop hysterical bonding, even in the future.

    3. Reflect on underlying issues

    What comes after hysterical bonding? To heal and move forward, it’s crucial to identify and understand the root causes of the crisis. Whether it’s infidelity, betrayal, or any other significant event, take time to reflect on what led to this point in your relationship. Recognizing these issues is a fundamental step toward finding solutions and preventing future crises. 

    Nandita suggests, “While hysterical bonding may offer temporary relief, it’s not a substitute for addressing the underlying issues that led to the crisis in the relationship. Long-term healing and resolution typically require open and honest communication between both partners to understand, address, and potentially overcome the issues at hand.”

    4. Prioritize self-care

    Managing emotional and physical well-being is essential during a relationship crisis. Engage in activities that bring you joy and relaxation, such as:

    • Exercise
    • Meditation
    • Hobbies
    • Spending time with loved ones 

    People should view a little jealousy like a positive aspect in a relationship, as it creates an environment of mutual respect and confidence. Self-care not only helps you regain emotional balance but also strengthens your resilience to face challenges.

    5. Set healthy boundaries

    While reconnecting with your partner is important, it’s equally vital to establish healthy relationship boundaries to avoid becoming overly dependent on the relationship. Healthy jealousy may encourage people to talk honestly about their emotions and limits, building trust and understanding. Maintain your individuality and interests to ensure a balanced and healthy dynamic that promotes personal growth for both you and your partner. Here are some ways to create healthy boundaries:

    • Respect personal space: Accept that you and your partner need your own space and time for your own activities. Set aside time for hobbies, friends, and self-care activities. Respect for each other’s need for privacy promotes independence and prevents interdependence
    • Define emotional boundaries: Be clear about your emotional boundaries. Let your partner know what actions or words can make you feel better, and vice versa. Establishing these boundaries can prevent misunderstandings and emotional conflict
    • Promote trust and understanding: Trust is the foundation of a healthy relationship. Keep each other informed about your actions, plans, and social interactions. Avoid secrets or hidden policies, as these can erode trust and lead to boundary violations

    6. Initiate open communication

    Effective communication is essential for addressing the underlying issues and rebuilding trust. Initiate honest conversations with your partner and share your feelings, concerns, and fears. Encourage your partner to do the same, creating a safe and open environment for dialogue. Here are some things to consider:

    • Choosing the right time and place: Find a quiet place where your partner can have a distraction-free conversation. Timing is important
    • Active listening: Give your partner your full attention while he or she is speaking. Practice active listening by nodding, making eye contact, and offering verbal affirmations such as “I understand” or “Tell me more.”
    • Infidelity disclosure details: Sharing infidelity disclosure details can be a difficult and emotional process, but it’s an important step for couples who want to restore trust and transparency after infidelity

    Related Reading: Dismissive-Avoidant Attachment: Signs, Causes, And Ways To Overcome

    7. Consider professional help

    Hysterical bonding after a breakup is pretty common, but in cases of severe or complex crises, seeking professional counseling or therapy is a wise choice. A trained therapist or a licensed psychologist can guide both you and your partner through this rough emotional terrain, helping you identify the root causes and providing strategies for healing and growth.

    8. Use the crisis for personal growth

    View the crisis as an opportunity for personal development and self-improvement as a human being. Explore self-help resources, books, or workshops that enhance your emotional resilience and communication skills. This proactive approach can lead to positive changes in yourself and your relationship.

    9. Embrace forgiveness

    Forgiveness, while not condoning hurtful actions, allows you to release emotional burdens and move forward. Extend forgiveness to your partner and yourself. Forgiving yourself is particularly important, as individuals often blame themselves during relationship crises.

    hysterical bonding after breakup
    Forgiving yourself and each other might help you navigate through hysterical bonding

    10. Track progress

    Monitor your emotional progress and the intensity of your bonding over time. Are you making positive strides toward resolution, or are you stuck in a cycle of hysterical bonding? Adjust your approach as needed to ensure you are moving toward healthier emotional states.

    11. Seek closure

    Depending on the situation, seeking closure may be necessary. This could involve:

    Confrontation: Confronting the person responsible for the problem and making them accept responsibility, or finding internal closure through acceptance and understanding, allowing you to move forward with clarity

    Rushing: Closure should not be rushed. It’s a personal journey that can take time and thought. Put your emotional health and well-being first throughout the process

    Looking within: Alternatively, the closure may also be internal. It means finding balance within yourself through acceptance and understanding. It’s about being equal to the situation, forgiving when necessary, and giving yourself permission to move forward with clarity.

    12. Be patient

    Healing from a relationship crisis is a gradual process that demands time, patience, and effort. Be patient with both yourself and your partner as you work through the issues together. Rushing the process can hinder long-term recovery.

    Related Reading: 7 Steps To Find Peace After A Toxic Relationship

    13. Individual therapy

    Besides couples therapy, consider individual therapy for yourself. This provides a valuable space to process emotions, gain insight into your reactions, and develop coping strategies tailored to your unique needs.

    Nandita explains, “It’s crucial for both partners to recognize that hysterical bonding is a coping mechanism triggered by intense emotions. Understanding this can lead to a more compassionate and empathetic approach to dealing with the situation.”

    14. Assess the relationship

    Ultimately, assess whether the relationship is healthy and worth salvaging. Sometimes, despite efforts at healing, a relationship may not be in your best interest. Trust your instincts and prioritize your emotional well-being, making choices that align with your long-term happiness and personal growth.

    Key Pointers

    • Hysterical bonding mainly happens in response to adultery. The fear of losing the relationship causes a spike in emotional and physical intimacy between the partners
    • Fear of loss, turbulent emotions, a need for reassurance, attachment issues, a desire to mend and reconnect, hope for a better future, and even pathological dependency are factors that contribute to hysterical bonding
    • Intense emotional bonding; increased physical intimacy, anxiety, and uncertainty; and a persistent need for assurance are all indicators of hysterical bonding
    • Individuals should focus on self-care, set healthy boundaries, engage in open communication, and consider getting professional help from a relationship expert recover from this situation
    • For a stable, long-lasting relationship, partners must address the underlying reasons of and look for healthy ways to reestablish emotional connection and trust

    Hysterical bonding happens in the wake of relationship crises such as infidelity, betrayal, or impending breakups. During these challenging moments, couples may experience a strong, almost compulsive emotional and physical attachment. Hysterical bonding is frequently a transitory stage following a crisis, despite the fact that it might be a natural reaction to the fear of losing a relationship.

    For individuals and couples dealing with such circumstances, it is essential to comprehend why hysterical bonding occurs. It is primarily motivated by feelings of anxiety, mental health issues, and a need for comfort and restoration. These elements may result in a more intense emotional bond, more physical intimacy, and a variety of complex feelings. 

     FAQs

    1. What happens when hysterical bonding ends? 

    When hysterical bonding ends, the intense emotional and physical closeness that follows a relationship crisis subsides. Couples may return to a more normal state, confront unresolved issues, assess the future of their relationship, or experience emotional turmoil. The outcome varies based on how effectively the crisis is addressed and resolved.

    2. How long can hysterical bonding last?

    The duration of hysterical bonding varies widely among individuals and relationships. It can last for a few weeks or for several months, depending on factors such as the severity of the crisis, the willingness to address underlying issues, and the ability to rebuild trust and emotional intimacy.

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  • Accountability In Relationships – Meaning, Importance, And Ways To Practice

    Accountability In Relationships – Meaning, Importance, And Ways To Practice

    How do you take accountability in relationships with your loved ones? It reminds me of the lyrics to a famous Calvin Harris song, “Can’t you see it? I was manipulated; I had to let her through the door. Oh, I had no choice in this; I was a friend she missed. She needed me to talk. So blame it on the night. Don’t blame it on me.”

    Well, accountability is the total opposite of this. You don’t blame it on the night, one way or another. And you definitely don’t blame it on the manipulation. Most of the time, you make a choice. And how you acknowledge those choices with ample self awareness shows how accountable you are to your relationships.

    Do you also wonder what the importance of accountability in a marriage or relationship is? Or where do you stand on the relationship accountability spectrum or if it takes emotional intelligence to practice it? Let’s learn more about this with the help of emotional wellness and mindfulness coach Pooja Priyamvada (certified in Psychological and Mental Health First Aid from Johns Hopkins Bloomberg School of Public Health and the University of Sydney). She specializes in counseling for extramarital affairs, breakups, separation, grief, and loss, to name a few. She’ll shed more light on how to be accountable and what to do when your partner refuses to be accountable. 

    What Does It Mean To Take Accountability In A Relationship?

    When asked, “What is accountability in a relationship and how can one person show it?”,  Pooja responded, “Taking ownership or accountability means that you share your part of and accept responsibility to make that relationship work in a functional and healthy way.” Honesty and accountability in relationships are all about checking yourself instead of going into guilt or blame mode. 

    How to take accountability in a relationship? It starts with asking yourself a couple of questions rather than playing a blame game. How is this about me? What part did I play? What can I learn from this? Accepting accountability basically means acknowledging and taking full responsibility for your actions. 

    Sometimes, in the heat of an argument, we don’t accept our mistakes, even though, deep down, we know that we might be wrong because of a lack of conscious self awareness.  These are a few signs of lack of accountability in relationships. To have an upper hand, we focus all our energies on proving ourselves right and shifting the blame onto the other person. This is when we need to ask ourselves, “What is more important, the power game or the relationship itself?” Giving up your ego for the health of your bond with your SO is one of the many examples of accountability in relationships.

    Now,  let’s take some time to reflect on this. Are you a partner who isn’t able to take accountability? Are you someone who only focuses on how to hold someone accountable in a relationship? Is this behavior impacting your relationship potentially bringing it on the verge of being toxic?  “The worst toxicity,” Pooja adds, “ is overstepping the boundaries of a partner, overriding their consent and autonomy. If any of the partners feels reduced or claustrophobic in any relationship, both partners need to reflect the cause of it.”. 

    Remember, the dynamics of accountability vs blame in relationships significantly impact their overall health and stability. In healthy relationships, accountability involves taking responsibility for your part in a situation, while blame tends to focus on pointing fingers and assigning fault, leading to more conflict.

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    How Important Is Accountability In A Relationship?

    Now that we understand what taking accountability is, let’s try to ascertain how important it is to show accountability in a relationship and why. Its importance can be understood through the prism of accountability to God. According to research, people who held themselves accountable to God experienced more happiness and well-being in their lives. After all, the whole point of accountability is becoming self aware of the fact that our actions have repercussions and that a blame game would not solve them. To accept responsibility for those is therefore necessary. The importance of positive accountability in relationships can be summed up as: 

    • It makes your partner feel seen, heard, and valued
    • Your partner doesn’t think that the relationship is one-sided and he/she is the only one doing all the work
    • It makes you a more compassionate, empathetic, and giving human being. You learn to step into other’s shoes
    • It makes you a self-aware person as you keep discovering ways you can grow
    • It increases trust, honesty, openness, vulnerability, and dependability

    How Does Lack Of Accountability In A Relationship Harm It?

    Pooja shares an interesting case study on the signs of a lack of accountability in romantic relationships by one person. She shares, “Lack of accountability breeds lack of trust and then miscommunication, leading to disputes. A client’s journalist husband (with a lot of traveling work) would not update her about his whereabouts. She repeatedly told him that this made her anxious but he paid no heed to it. 

    “She started imagining he was having an affair. She started looking for ways to sneak into his phone and devices and this led to a lot of unnecessary conflict in the marriage. Her initial concern was only about his safety but it blew up into something completely different.” When individuals are held accountable for their actions in a relationship, it creates a foundation of trust and responsibility that contributes to their overall health and stability. Hence, if you notice signs of a lack of accountability in romantic relationships, it is better to work on them before they start causing harm and blowing things out of proportion.

    As is clear from the above example, signs of lack of accountability in relationships lead to:

    • Ignorance, denial, deflection, blame game, and excuses (when it comes to mistakes)
    • Inability to compromise on a disagreement
    • Selfish behavior and blame-shifting
    • More arguments, tantrums, and grudges
    • Lack of maturity, adjustment, kindness, and respect

    How  To Practice Accountability In A Relationship – 15 Tips

    Now comes the million-dollar question: how to take accountability in a relationship if the importance of accountability in relationships is so high? Like with anything else involving human relationships, there is no one-size-fits-all answer to this. Accountability can mean different things to different couples. The bottom line is that as long as there is a sense of responsibility toward one partner and the general health of the relationship, you can claim to have accountability in your relationship. 

    There is interesting research that shows how shared calendars are a way to practice accountability in intimate relationships. According to this paper, the relationship accountability spectrum is all about being answerable to your partner (for your past, present, and future behavior). Let’s take a look at how that translates into everyday actions with these tips on how to show you are accountable.

    1. Start small

    What is accountability in a relationship and what does it have to do with starting small? Pooja points out, “You need to realize how important your relationship is to you. Maybe start with small romantic gestures. Apologize for the little things to establish honesty and accountability in relationships. Remind yourself that your partner is important to you and so are their feelings. Be honest about your mistakes. If you can’t speak directly, write them down and share them with your partner.” For example, “I am sorry I couldn’t take our pet out for a walk today. Thank you for walking him. I am grateful.”

    2. Set clear rules and boundaries

    “Clear rules and boundaries about communication need to be set so that each partner automatically becomes accountable in a healthy relationship. This must be done when both are calm and stable. Blame-game and angry lashing out do not resolve anything,” says Pooja. 

    When you are unable to hold yourself accountable, you may say things like, “Why is it always my mistake? You just keep pointing out problems in me.” To bring about a shift, try a more reconciliatory approach and say, “Can you please explain what about my actions bothers you?”

    3. Work on accountability in relationships every day

    Pooja advises, “Accountability becomes a habit when one person considers the relationship important enough to work on. On a daily basis, try to ensure that you and your partner are on the same page regarding routine as well as important things. Make sure there is open communication and quality time spent to facilitate this communication, which is not solely focused on how to hold someone accountable in a relationship but focused inward.”

    One of the examples of accountability in relationships looks like, “I am sorry that I haven’t given this relationship enough time lately. I acknowledge it and I will surely try my best to take out time.” Take out time every day to have a meaningful conversation, no matter how busy you are. Fix a specific time in your calendar. If you are in a long-distance relationship, you can talk to them while you are commuting. Being there with each other without distractions is all that matters.

    4. You don’t have to change your basic personality

    Pooja rightly points out, “Everyone must acknowledge that some bad habits are change worthy. For example, if your partner wants you to not smoke, maybe it is worth trying to quit or reduce it at least. But basic personality, of course, can’t be changed and that must be clear to all. For instance, an introvert would not suddenly become an extrovert.” By not changing your intrinsic personality, you show accountability in a relationship in the most authentic way. 

    Related Reading: 9 Tips To Make An Introvert And Extrovert Relationship Work

    5. Ask your partner where they stand and what they want

    To be more accountable to one another, you need to be in sync and understand what the other person wants from the relationship. To facilitate that, you can ask questions like:

    • Where do you think we stand in our relationship? 
    • What, according to you, is missing in our relationship?
    • What can I improve on or make changes on?
    • What makes you feel loved?
    • What are you not willing to compromise on?
    • What steps can we take to make each other’s lives easier?
    Be in sync and understand what your partner wants

    6. Be a good listener and don’t offer solutions

    One of the ways to show accountability in a marriage or relationship is by listening actively, with patience and empathy. Consider the following situations:

    If your partner is going through a tough time, they don’t need a caretaker or problem solver. All they need is someone who can be there for them, patiently listening in a neutral, open, non-judgmental, and attentive manner. To be truly there for someone sounds so simple, but in reality, it is much more complex than that.

    Related Reading: Emotional Dumping Vs. Venting: Differences, Signs, And Examples

    7. Be mindful of their unresolved issues

    When showing positive accountability in relationships, it’s important to be sensitive toward someone’s childhood trauma and the several conflicts in their mind. If your partner has faced or witnessed mental or sexual abuse while growing up, you can encourage them to join a peer group, which can act as their safe and reliable space for working through their trauma. This is a sign of a healthy relationship.

    Sometimes, they might feel triggered due to emotional intimacy and project their issues on you. But in order to learn how to take accountability in a relationship, you need to remind yourself not to take it personally. It has nothing to do with you and everything to do with their insecurities and their relationship with themselves.

    8. Be open to criticism

    One of the most important ways to show accountability is to be flexible enough to incorporate constructive criticism. So, if your partner tells you that you can work on your discipline in your personal and professional lives, don’t get defensive or withdraw into a shell. Instead of taking their words to heart, look at them as an opportunity to improve yourself. Not being open to criticism is one of the signs of lack of accountability in relationships. 

    Related Reading: 20 Questions To Ask Your Partner To Build Emotional Intimacy

    9. Keep commitments 

    Keeping your promises is like showing your partner that they can count on you, just like a favorite song that never lets you down. Being reliable builds trust, and trust is like the glue that holds your relationship together, making it stronger and happier. So, when you say you’ll do something, give it your all to make it happen!

    10. Regular check-ins

    Think of check-ins like tuning up a bike to keep it running smoothly. Regularly having conversations about your relationship helps fix any tiny issues before they become big problems, like catching a cold before it gets worse. It’s like a friendly chat that keeps the train on the right track.

    relationship advice

    11. Be supportive

    Practicing accountability in your relationship involves offering emotional support when your partner faces any difficulties. By being their dependable source of strength, you cultivate trust, and in turn, this trust deepens your connection. So, during tough times, be the supportive presence that fortifies your relationship.

    12. Seek feedback

    Even studies show that if feedback is given respectfully and with good intentions, it can motivate a person to improve. Seeking feedback is like asking for directions on the road to a better relationship. When you show a genuine interest in how you can improve, it’s like telling your partner, “I’m all in for making you happy.” It’s like adding more colors to your love canvas, creating a masterpiece of joy together.

    13. Avoid defensiveness 

    When your partner brings up a concern, resist the urge to put up walls. Understanding the difference between accountability vs blame in relationships can lead to more effective conflict resolution and stronger emotional connections.  

    Instead, try to step into their shoes and see things from their perspective. It’s like opening a door to constructive solutions, helping your relationship grow stronger by addressing issues together, like a dynamic duo.

    Related Reading: Responsibility In Relationships – Different Forms And How To Foster Them

    14. Solve problems together

    When challenges pop up in a healthy relationship, tackle them as a team. It’s like both of you putting your heads together to crack a puzzle. Solving problems side by side strengthens your bond, making your relationship a tag team of support and understanding.

    15. Apologize sincerely 

    When you’ve caused pain, saying sorry sincerely is like mending a broken piece with care. Expressing your regret, recognizing the hurt, and genuinely wanting to make things right is like applying a healing balm to your relationship. It’s the art of rebuilding trust, one heartfelt apology at a time. Effective communication is the key ingredient for maintaining a successful relationship built on emotional intimacy, trust, and understanding. 

    Key Pointers

    • Accountability means taking full responsibility for your actions
    • Accountability leads to more self awareness, trust, vulnerability, dependability, mutual respect, and compassion
    • Working on showing accountability can start with little things and daily tasks
    • Seek therapy if you are having trouble holding someone accountable
    • Set clear boundaries and be vocal and assertive about your needs
    • Seek therapy if you are having trouble holding someone accountable
    • Showing accountability doesn’t mean changing your basic personality
    • If your partner refuses to be accountable in the relationship, it can turn it into a toxic and unsafe space

    It’s crucial for couples to address accountability vs blame in relationships openly and honestly to build trust and maintain healthy relationships.  Moving forward, let’s end with a quote by Crystal Renaud: “Just like confession means talking about the elephant in the room, accountability is about allowing someone to help you fight the elephant.” Remember, this fight can’t be won by playing a blaming game on each other but only through authenticity and honesty. 

    FAQs

    1. What does true accountability in a relationship look like? 

    It is to ensure that after every fight, both partners take the time to reflect on their parts and own up to their mistakes, if any. They should ensure that they have uncomfortable but necessary conversations about where they went wrong.

    2. Are you accountable in a relationship?

    One partner is accountable in a relationship if they are honest about their strengths and weaknesses and don’t mind keeping their ego aside and apologizing when they are the ones at fault. You or anyone in a relationship is accountable when you are ready to make changes instead of staying complacent. 

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  • 21 Exciting Conversation Games For Couples — Keep The Playfulness Alive!

    21 Exciting Conversation Games For Couples — Keep The Playfulness Alive!

    Repeating the same old ‘How was your day’ or ‘Have you eaten yet’ questions while conversing with your partner can often be boring. However, one can never get enough of chit-chatting with their special someone. So why not spice your relationship with some quirky, flirty, and creative conversation games for couples? Be it a decade-long relationship or one that is a day old, a healthy conversation is the most important aspect of it. Ranging from flirty games to play over text to deep conversation games, you can choose your type of game and build your compatibility like never before!

    Games are proven to impact your relationships positively as per a survey conducted in June 2020. Chatting games for couples are potentially an amazing conversation starter that helps you collect new insights about your significant other. These romantic games are a brilliant idea to start bonding on the first date with your crush. You will surely spend quality time playing a fun question game, bombarding each other with random questions, and can even get naughty with your questions.

    7 Flirty Games To Play Over Text With Your ‘Boo’

    For people who prefer texting over calls, late-night flirty text games can be the easiest way to spice things up. There are a bunch of intimacy games for couples, offering a fun time and allowing exploration of sexual desires. You can explore your darkest fantasies as these games let you know the unfiltered side of your lover. Chatting games for couples are indeed the best couple ice-breaker games, leading to a heated romance over texts. And sometimes, such games can create a deeper connection too.

    Even in times when you don’t know what to say when the conversation dies between you and your sweetheart, a game night will be your savior. All that you will need to rekindle that lost spark in your relationship is a smartphone for texting and a list of romantic games. A list of exciting conversation games for couples is just a scroll away in this article:

    1. The classic: Would You Rather (WYR) 

    Games similar to ‘would you rather’ top the list of talking games for couples that can be made flirty and juicy, or even funny and bizarre. You may ask questions like, “Would you rather date someone with good cooking skills or good kissing skills?”
    WYR is the classic couple bonding game of all time. So, you can take a step forward and tune into some nail-biting questions like “WYR lose your friends or lose your love?” This might put you in hot takes but will definitely attach you with your partner on a deeper level.

    Related Reading: 155 Deep, Sexy, Funny, Romantic, And Gross Would You Rather Questions

    2. Who’s most likely to (couples)

    Another game that comes under a similar category as the ‘would you rather’ game is ‘Who’s most likely to’. This game can be really entertaining for couples, as it tests how they perceive each other. A correct answer means both have named the same person.
    Simple questions like “Who is most likely to forget our anniversary?” are exciting when you play with your ‘boo’. With every different answer, you can make room to make your partner aware of your thought process behind the answer.

    3. Truth or Dare

    Truth or Dare is the most popular date night couples game to get to know each other. This is a meaningful game where opting for ‘truth’ will let your partner share their secrets, while putting forth bold dares would spice things up. The questions can be racy, such as “What is the most unusual erogenous zone of your body?” or something on a deeper level, such as “What importance do your friends hold in your life?” The dares, on the other hand, can be even naughtier, such as “Narrate an erotic story in the most sensual voice possible.”

    Fun games for couples to play at home

    4. Confession game

    The Confession game is one of the finest talking games for couples to confess feelings, guilt, lies, and all sorts of expressions to the other person. The first person starts by saying, “I confess that I’m madly in love with the way you smile” and the other person called repeats, “I confess that I am well aware.”

    This game is organically included on the list of the best romantic games for couples, as it allows you to speak confidently about your heart’s desires. You can play a couple edition of the game or even sit with a group of friends at a dinner party to play the confession game.

    Related Reading: 15 Signs He Wants To Confess His Feelings For You

    5. Word game

    There are several word games for couples, but the one we’ll be introducing now is the best of the lot. The ground rule for playing it is pretty simple: repeat the last word and add another to the flow. The first person starts, for example, with “juice.” The next player says, “juice, homework…” and then it passes to the former player.
    The key is to keep remembering the last words and add new words to the chain. This game can be one of the most magical conversation starter games for couples on a date night.

    6. Love, Like, Leave

    The game of ‘love, like, or, leave’ is as engrossing as it sounds. You can try picking some fictional characters, such as Harry Potter, Prince Eric, or Iron Man, as options to play this romantic game. These fun games for couples to play at home will make you understand your partner better. You are free to create random combos of choices, such as yourself or a hypothetical person, or even use someone else’s name — a colleague’s or a common friend’s. Conversation games for couples like this one ensure strong bonds. For example:

    • If your options are Robert Pattinson, Zayn Malik, and Harry Styles, you need to assign tags to each of them
    • It could go like this: Love- Harry Styles, Like- Zayn Malik, and Leave- Robert Pattinson.

    Related Reading: 160 Ultimate What If Questions About Love For Couples

    7. Hot Takes

    Hot Takes is a game that refers to an unpopular opinion that one has on different topics. This game can be played over text by taking chances to express niche opinions that have been a crucial part of your personality. For example, you can start with, “I love pineapples on my pizza.”
    These kinds of chatting games for couples are meant for a deeper level of connection where you can handle sensitive topics and acknowledge the differences in your ideas. But you should avoid politics if you are in the initial stage of your relationship, as it might come out as a deal breaker.

    7 Conversation Games For Long-Distance Couples (LDR)

    Conversation is the most vital support pillar of a long-distance relationship. Couples in long-distance relationships run out of ideas for discussion over text or calls frequently. Similarly, a couple separated physically by distance is prone to tearful communication sessions. Hence, to keep the playfulness intact, couple games come into play.

    Playing games over chat helps in the exploration of a couple’s sense of humor, mischief, and competitive spirit. Games for long-distance couples give them another outlook on each other. Above all, conversation games for couples are an impressive method to feel less distant, decrease conflicts, and break the monotony of your relationship. You would beat all the challenges of an LDR and intensify your emotional closeness even when you are far apart physically. So let’s take a look at all the awesome romantic games available for long-distance couples:

    1. A must-try: Two Truths and a Lie

    This is a game of three sentences wherein you have two truths and one lie. You will take turns to speak the sentences, and the other person has to guess the correct answers and point out the lie. You can pull some creative strings of your brain and fabricate unreal sentences that sound true, just to trick your opponent. If you plan a date night on a call, make sure to play two truths and one lie. It will be a crazy experience!

    2. Play with your lover: Never Have I Ever

    Topping the list of conversation starter games for couples is Never Have I Ever. This can be played more enthusiastically with your beloved over a video call or even on text. With each thing that one has never done ever, one needs to take a sip of a drink.
    To illustrate, if you say, “Never have I ever fallen for someone older than 5 years from me” and your partner has, they sip a drink as a penalty. The penalty can be something as simple as sending a pouty picture or something wild, such as stripping.

    3. Never let the playfulness fade: Play charades

    Dumb Charades is hands down the best game to play over video chat with your sweetheart. The best aspect is that the game needs no prior planning. Just choose a movie, enact it with hand movements, and enjoy a fun-filled evening together.
    Set timers for the competition and unleash the mime inside you. You can keep track of points, and the winner can be rewarded with a prepaid coffee from the loser the next morning.

    Related Reading: 35 Long-Distance Relationship Activities To Bond Over

    4. Play over a chat: This or That

    Bombarding your partner with long-form questions over text or video chat can be tiresome for both parties. Thus, we have ‘This or That’ — a shorter version of Would You Rather. This or That is popular among word games for couples, as it gives the best opportunity to know the likes and dislikes of your companion. Here are a few ideas on how this romantic game is played:

    • Tea or coffee?
    • Love or money?
    • Kiss or hug?

    Bono Tip: Avoid heated discussions like politics while playing this game, as it might lead to an argument or a fight in a relationship, which defeats the purpose of such fun game.

    5. Tickle your brains with online games

    Get in the zone of fierce online competition with your love and sprinkle the spice of liveliness in your bland relationship. Classic games like Ludo, Uno, Scrabble, and other board and card games offer you the go-to technique for lightening the mood. There are a number of free couple games to play at home. Pick your favorite from the lot and begin! You can play in teams against other online players or you can opt to play against each other. The bond that builds over games is perhaps superior to every other bond.

    Couple Dynamics

    6. Don’t let your eyes rest: It’s a staring contest

    Yet another cheesy game for a long-distance couple is a staring contest over a video call. Staring can lead to an internal fire, one that warms your heart and lets you delve into the world of your ‘bae’. Lock your eyes and try to feel the physical distance fade away.
    To enhance the impact of the game, you can add punishments too. The last person who keeps staring without blinking wins evidently. Try it, and you won’t regret it.

    7. I like you because…

    This romantic game is especially for those sitting away from each other and bearing the rage of distance and time. The fragile thread of a long-distance relationship can be held strong only by confessing, communicating, and prioritizing your love. ‘I like you because’ is an effortless trick to appreciate the other person.
    You can recollect all the traits of your significant other and convey them via this game. It can ignite a deeper level of affection in both individuals. For example, you can say something such as, “I like you because you made me feel worthy.”

    7 Romantic Games For Couples That Stir-up Deep Conversions

    The longevity of your relationship is ensured if you inculcate days of goofiness amid the sincerity of your love. These little gestures of creativity can never go in vain because they’ll give you a bucket full of happy memories and help you engage with your partner on a deeper level.
    You can spice things up, build better understanding, foster stronger connections, and remain closely attached with your partner just by playing these simple yet profound conversation games for couples.

    Related Reading: 100 Deep Conversation Topics For Couples: Questions About Love And Life

    The date nights spent knowing your ‘baby boo’ better will become a golden memory if you look back the memory lane ever.
    There are tons of free couple games to play at home, including relationship card games, games like 21 Questions, and other excitement-packed plays. Here is a list of deep conversation games for couples:

    1. Our Moments card game

    Card games can’t be forgotten if we discuss games for couples! Some of the best card games are available in the market and online stores. This card game is an ice-breaker that helps you to start a fresh relationship or to reconnect with your partner on a deeper level.
    You get a deck of 100 cards consisting of engaging questions that are perfect for a slow-paced conversation with your lovely mate. These pre-made questions are surprising, as both of you won’t know what pops up next.
    Relationship card games like the Actually Curious deck of 52 cards, the Our Moments card game, and the Kinky Confession card game are some of the top card games to play with your beloved.

    conversation starter games for couples
    Our moments card game

    2. 21 Questions

    Ask 21 intimate, psychological, and intense questions that lead toward better bonding as partners. The questions can be related to love, life, and dreams.
    For instance, “If you could change something about yourself, what would it be?” or “Have you experienced a heartbreak? if yes, describe.” Prepare a list of 21 questions and take turns to answer each separately.

    Related Reading: 100 Questions To Ask Your Boyfriend

    3. Ask Me Anything

    This is a perfect game for a road trip with friends. But you can play the couple’s edition for ‘Ask Me Anything’ too. A penalty is decided before the game begins. Opting for skipping the question would mean acting out the penalty, such as drinking a shot of vinegar. You can ask the questions you have been waiting to ask for a long time playing such fun conversation games for couples.

    4. The One Line Game

    Curate a story with the help of collective thinking by building one line at a time. This game will amplify your compatibility as a couple and will provide the satisfaction of creating something together.
    You can start with, “Once upon a time, a girl named (your name) was sitting in a park.” Your partner might add, “She was as beautiful as the moonflower” and continue. The game would be even more interesting with a group of couples competing against each other. You can also try road trip questions for couples for the same.

    5. Three Thank You

    Three Thank You is listed among the best fun games for couples to play at home. The most profound communication game on the list, it works powerfully if you indulge in a habitual routine of taking 10 minutes every day. Tell your partner about three things for which you are thankful to them and take turns doing so.

    Related Reading: 50 Wonderful Compliments For Men That Make Them Happy

    6. High-Low-Buffalo

    The name might sound weird but the game is the most meaningful one. You get to share one high, one low, and one random thing from your day with your partner. When accounting for conversation games for couples, this one is the star of the show.
    For instance High- “I was able to make breakfast on time today.”
    Low- “It turned out a little too salty though.”
    Buffalo- “My best friend was wearing a weird orange shirt with black polka dots today.”

    7. The Rating Game

    The most flawlessly entertaining method to get to know what your partner perceives about a particular character trait is by playing this game. Here’s how to go about it:

    • You can start by saying, “They are a 10 but never apologize.”
    • Next, your partner will rate the hypothetical person out of 10 according to their preference, say 4, since an unapologetic person is a red flag according to them
    • You are free to rate higher than 10 or lower than it

    It is said that communication makes or breaks any relationship. So, dig for chances to improve your communication with your sweetheart, be it via conversation games or by a simple ‘Hello baby’ text. Keep a balance of fun, sincerity, commitment, and flirtation. Use these amazing games and keep the playfulness alive!

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  • Lying By Omission And Its Consequences On Relationships

    Lying By Omission And Its Consequences On Relationships

    It is believed Benjamin Franklin once wrote, “Half a truth is often a great lie.” While we agree that telling the truth is the best bet in a relationship, most often, partners do keep things from each other or lie to each other. Additionally, lying by omission often becomes a major issue in relationships.

    So, when is omission of certain details considered lying? Is telling a white lie harmful? Does lying by omitting a few details have the potential to destroy an otherwise happy relationship or does it not matter that much? Are you also wondering how to get over someone lying to you this way? Read on, as our expert psychologist Nandita Rambhia (MSc, Psychology), who specializes in CBT, REBT, and couples counseling, helps us explore ‘lies by omission’ and their potential consequences and tells us what to do to address this issue in relationships.

    What Is Lying By Omission?

    Nandita explains, “In general terms, lying by omission, meaning lying without giving a false statement, is withholding information in a relationship deliberately. It’s the same in any kind of relationship, whether romantic or not. It’s when we don’t fully disclose the real or actual facts or information intentionally.” Is it detrimental to a relationship? Well, yes, it can be. In fact, an article on The Cut states how people generally view telling lies by omission as equally toxic as paltering, or focusing on selective truths to mislead people, just like politicians often do. In fact, some believe lying by omission is worse than lying by commission.

    However, omission may not always be considered lying by some. A Reddit user says, “It’s only a lie of omission if the thing omitted changes the truth as the person understands it. Otherwise, it’s just a lack of detail.” Another Reddit user believes there’s no such thing as a lie of omission, as there could be a vast number of things that we probably don’t mention to others.

    However, this user is probably talking about instances of honest omission without any malice or hidden agenda. After all, the intention matters. But why do people omit important details? To find the answer, let’s look at some reasons why people would lie by omission:

    ● To avoid conflict: People often lie by omitting crucial details that may cause conflicts or differences of opinion
    ● To avoid hurting someone’s feelings: People also lie by omission so as not to hurt someone close to them
    ● To protect one’s self-image: Nandita says, “When people start keeping secrets, it could be to maintain a positive self-image or to not lose face.” Hiding their flaws seems to be a good idea for some
    ● To gain respect: Nandita adds, “When people lie by omitting some details they could actually be concerned about gaining respect in the eyes of their partners.”
    ● Because of past trauma or emotional baggage: One partner can lie by omitting details about their life because they may have been ridiculed or been at the receiving end of hostile behavior for speaking the truth in the past
    ● To be in control: Omitting certain details about one’s life is a clear way of gaining control of the relationship dynamic. Some people like manipulating a situation by not giving their partners access to complete information about themselves as a power tactic

    Lying by omission can stem from a number of reasons, ranging from one’s own insecurities to external elements, such as a loved one whose feelings you don’t wish to hurt. We’re sure you’re now wondering how lying by omission affects our everyday lives. Read on to find out.

    7 Everyday Examples Of Lying By Omission In Relationships

    Now that you have a clear idea about the reasons behind telling lies by omission, let’s look at some everyday examples of this deception in relationships. Yes, lying by avoiding talking about the unpleasant aspects of one’s life is a common phenomenon. And lying by omission examples are found aplenty in our everyday lives. Here are 7 things from our daily lives which people tend to omit details about:

    1. Professional details

    Often, people tend to lie to their partners by omitting details related to their jobs or careers. A few instances of such lies are:
    ● Omission of details about what one does at work: This involves lying about the type of work one does, especially when one is lying at the beginning of a relationship. For instance, a person can say he works at a Michelin-star restaurant, to make it sound like he holds an important post, while in reality, he may just be waiting tables there
    ● Omission of details about job loss: People often keep news about losing their jobs, be it due to layoffs or dismissal. Nandita adds, “If a boss has fired or made a bad case of one partner, they may not want to come home and say it. This could be because of the fear of their partner’s reaction or their supposed loss of prestige.”

    Related Reading: How To Watch Out For The Relationship Red Flags – Expert Tells You

    2. Financial status

    Talking about money is often the most crucial thing in a relationship. And the trouble begins when one partner withholds significant details regarding their financial status, as life goals may suffer. Nandita adds, “Not revealing details about one’s financial status or money problems is a serious issue that can affect the relationship in the long run. And yes, it amounts to lying.”

    3. Past relationships

    People also often omit facts about their past relationships to avoid conflicts or unpleasant topics. Nandita explains, “Not telling your partner about your exes, even though your partner has asked you about them, is definitely a lie. And such omissions can cause a permanent relationship breakdown in future. While it’s okay to not get into the absolute minutest details of a partner’s past relationships, both partners should have some idea about each other’s previous dating lives, as the past can catch up with us eventually and cause a rift.”

    Lying by omission is worse than telling a lie actively

    In such cases, a person tends to lie about:
    ● How long they had been with the exes
    ● How intimate they had been or whether they had had sex with their exes
    ● The reason that led to the breakup. People lie about this because the actual reason could reveal some flaw at their end, such as abusive behavior or substance abuse
    ● Who ended the relationship

    Related Reading: 12 Signs Of A Lying Spouse

    4. Family or personal history

    Quite often, people also withhold details or facts about their personal history. Some even hide facts about their families. Some instances of such omissions are:
    ● Not revealing all the details about one’s criminal record, even if it’s about spending a night in jail for a student rally in college days
    ● Not revealing the professions of one’s family members. So, a person who’s not particularly proud that his father is a janitor may not reveal the details of his father’s profession to his potential girlfriend
    ● Withholding information about a mental illness or physical disability of a family member

    5. Health conditions

    A classic case of lying by omitting details is withholding facts about one’s health issues. One may have been diagnosed with a rare illness in the past or may even be suffering from a terminal illness. But not revealing that to a potential partner amounts to lying. A relationship can only grow when there’s transparency regarding all issues, including major medical conditions, such as cardiac issues or infertility.

    Related Reading: 13 Sure-Shot Signs Someone Is Lying To You Over Text

    A friend of mine, Linda, who suffered from vitiligo, a rare skin pigmentation disorder, would often put on concealing makeup before going on dates, to hide her condition. This ruined her relationships later, when her dates eventually found out about her condition.

    6. Affairs

    Omission of details is what any cheater resorts to hide their tracks from their partner. For instance, one of my friends, Susan, once went on a girls’ trip with us. We went to a club, where she got drunk and hooked up with a guy. They got cozy and shared some intimate moments too. We were all worried how it would impact her marriage. But when she went back home, she apparently told her husband about everything except the hook-up. This is how affairs begin and this is where it should stop if you want a healthy relationship.

    Related Reading: How To Tell If Your Partner Is Lying About Cheating?

    7. Family’s opinions of you

    Another great example of lying by omitting details is when your partner doesn’t wish to share information about what their family thinks of you. Picture this: your boyfriend called you home to meet his parents and he’s dying to pop the question to you. You’re all excited too. But his mother apparently didn’t like the way you dress. He withholds this from you to avoid unnecessary bickering or to avoid hurting you. This is a classic case of lying at the beginning of a relationship.

    9 Consequences Of Lying By Omission On Relationships

    Now you know that lying by omission involves intentionally omitting details about something. We’ve also given you an idea of how omitting details about our lives actually works. So, let us look at a few ways in which this form of lying affects relationships. Here are 9 effects of lies of omission on relationships:

    1. Lack of trust

    Lying by omitting significant details about something may affect the trust quotient of a relationship. Nandita says, “When a partner is caught intentionally omitting information or not disclosing certain information, there’s bound to be a loss of trust between the partners. This lack of trust can lead to a huge issue in the relationship in future. It also has the potential to break the relationship entirely, as the partner who has been lied to may never be able to
    trust the other partner even when they’re not lying.

    Related Reading: Trust Issues – 10 Signs You Find It Difficult To Trust Anyone

    “Over a long period of time, even if the lying partner decides to mend their ways, the other partner may lose faith in them. So, one should never reach the point where one’s partner stops believing in them altogether. It may be difficult to start afresh”

    2. Feeling of being betrayed

    Omitting information about certain aspects of life is betrayal even if there has been no obvious act of cheating. Nandita says, “Some people try to dismiss the impact of omission by saying that it’s not lying if you’ve been told partial truths. Some also believe not all lies are toxic. But a lie is a lie. And withholding information in a relationship can come across as a huge act of betrayal.”

    lying by omission examples
    Once your partner withholds key facts, you may feel betrayed

    3. Lack of self-esteem

    In many cases, if one partner finds out that they have been lied to by omission of major facts, they tend to feel they were perhaps not important enough to be told the truth. So, the partner who’s been lied to may feel lost and disillusioned. Nandita adds, “They may feel they aren’t worthy enough to have the full information. This creates self-doubt and low self-esteem.”

    Related Reading: What To Expect When You Love A Man With Low Self-Esteem

    4. Stress

    One of the negative consequences of such an act of omission is stress for both partners. So, while the one who has lied may feel guilty for lying this way, they may also feel stressed to keep up with the lie, since one lie is never limited to itself and often leads to more lies. Likewise, such lies, if discovered, may also cause the other partner to be stressed. They may not be able to be vulnerable with their partner anymore.

    5. Permanent emotional damage

    Lying to your partner by omission may cause them to suffer from permanent emotional damage when they discover the lie. In fact, they may turn overly suspicious in future and may stop trusting other people altogether.

    Nandita explains, “Omission brings out the suspicious nature of the liar’s partner. The other person will always be suspecting the lying partner of withholding crucial information. They may overreact too. In fact, there will be friction on many other fronts, not limited to the issue that is being lied about.”

    Related Reading: How To Trust Someone Again After They Hurt You – Expert Advice

    6. Lack of growth

    Hiding major details of your life from your partner may stunt the growth of your relationship. For relationships to grow, apart from love, there should be trust and the scope to be

    vulnerable and to confide. A relationship should be a safe space where both partners can lay their hearts out. Omitting significant facts only helps in stopping growth. The relationship may never reach the depth it requires and may eventually fizzle out.

    7. Lack of honest communication

    Hiding crucial details from your partner results in lack of open and honest communication. And in any relationship, communication barriers give rise to emotional and physical distance.
    So, in such cases you may witness the following:
    ● The liar doesn’t talk freely for fear of exposing their lie
    ● The person at the receiving end of such lies stops asking questions and grows distant

    Related Reading: Expert Talks About 9 Must-Try Couples Communication Exercises

    8. Lack of problem-solving

    Most often, liars withhold important information for fear of judgement. They are afraid that after knowing the full truth about them, their partners might leave them. But what if the partner in question is empathetic and understanding? There’s a chance that the person being lied to may have pitched in to help, had they not been told half-truths by their partner, be it about financial issues or family problems. Lying by omitting certain details thus actually acts as a barrier of potential problem-solving in a relationship.

    9. Lack of balance

    Lying by omitting crucial details of your life can also create an imbalance of power in the relationship. Here’s how:
    ● It makes you more selfish: When you lie by omission, you tend to focus on your own needs or what you think is right, giving less importance to your partner’s right to know the truth
    ● It makes you more manipulative: Omitting major facts lets you manipulate the relationship according to your will
    ● It gives you an unfair advantage in the relationship power dynamic: Lying by omitting details shifts the power in the relationship to you. So, you know something that your partner doesn’t and that is unfair

    How To Deal With Lying By Omission

    Lying by omission, meaning lying by hiding certain information, is detrimental to the relationship. But just like other relationship issues, it’s not the end of world if a partner omits or withholds certain details. In fact, there are effective ways to handle this situation. So, how

    to get over someone lying to you by hiding facts? Well, we’ll look into a few ways to deal with such cases of lying. Here’s want you can do to deal with this issue:

    1. Acknowledge the problem

    Nandita says, “To solve a problem, it’s important to ditch denial and start accepting that the problem exists. So, be honest with yourself and accept that you’ve been lied to by your partner.” No more trying to hide their flaws to save your face and theirs.

    Related Reading: Top 10 Lies Guys Tell Females | Lies Men Tell

    2. Identify the reason

    To understand the situation better, get to the reasons that must’ve made them lie. Dissect their story. Nandita suggests, “Locate why they are doing this. Is it because they fear something or because of shame or a sense of guilt associated with disclosing certain facts? Are they suffering from cheaters’ guilt or are they scared they might lose you if they tell you the truth?”

    3. Have an open communication

    An open heart-to-heart talk can solve most relationship issues, and this is no different. Nandita explains, “Once you identify the reason behind their lies, it’s important to be open, honest, and vulnerable with your partner. This goes for both partners. One should create a safe space for communication and allow their lying partner to admit their faults or own up to the issues they want to hide.”

    Related Reading: 5 White Lies In Relationships That Partners Tell Each Other At Some Point

    But be prepared for difficult conversations, because if they’re hiding something, it’s an emotional wound that needs to be addressed and not a place to play the blame game. Focus on the present and not the past.

    4. Empathy

    Nandita suggests, “One of the ways a lying partner can mend their ways is by practicing empathy, or trying to put themselves in the other person’s shows. They should try and realize how they would feel if they had been lied to.”

    On the other hand, most people lie to their partners because they feel they might be judged if they speak the truth. Of course, there can be other reasons, such as hiding a crime or a manipulative act. But if you’re being lied to, it’s important to introspect and ask yourself, “Am I being judgmental?” Loosen up and be easy-going for your partner to accept themselves as they are, so that they don’t need to lie to you by hiding information.

    Dealing With Insecurity
    Dealing With Insecurity

    5. Set firm boundaries

    Nandita says, “A healthy relationship is built on the pillars of trust, honesty, and integrity. While we all tend to lie sometimes, it’s crucial to have boundaries.” Thus, when you find out your partner has been withholding key details, you need to set clear and healthy boundaries. Be kind but firm in your demands. If they start dismissing you, saying you’re overreacting, tell them that you need them to be honest to go ahead with the relationship.

    Related Reading: How To Maintain Your Sanity If Your Partner Is A Compulsive Liar

    6. Consult a counselor

    Lastly, if all your efforts to make your partner stop lying by withholding key information fail, try going for couples counseling. There’s no alternative to expert advice when it comes to relationship issues.  If you’d like to explore this option to deal with lying by omission, skilled and licensed therapists on Bonobology’s panel are here for you.

    Key Pointers

    • Lying by omission involves intentionally withholding some information or facts while
      communicating or not telling the whole truth. But it doesn’t involve honest omission
    • Such lies have multiple reasons, such as protecting self-image, avoiding conflict, and
      gaining control of a relationship
    • Lying by omission examples include lying about one’s personal history, family, past
      relationships, financial status, or health conditions
    • You can deal with such liars by focusing on the reasons behind their lies, opening
      channels of honest communication, showing empathy, setting boundaries, and
      consulting a counselor

    Though some people still feel that there’s no such thing as a lie of omission, we’d like to believe that lies, be it by omission or commission, have the potential to hurt the person who’s being lied to. More so, if that person is a long-term partner. Trust is the basis of any relationship, and being transparent about oneself is the best way to go forward. Hope this article helped you understand how telling lies by omission destroys relationships and how you can manage such situations. So, don’t let petty lies spell the end of the beautiful bond with your partner.

    FAQs

    1. Is lying by omission still lying?

    Yes, very much. Lying is lying, whether you actively tell a lie by providing false information or lie by withholding certain information. Both have the potential to destroy relationships. Some believe lying by omission is worse than lying actively, as it’s all about not telling the whole truth and can be a tool for manipulation.

    2. Can lying be justified?

    Some people justify lies by saying ‘white lies’ that don’t harm anybody are
    justified if they are a means to a positive end. For instance, though you hate
    the French toast your wife cooks every Sunday, you tell her it’s tasty so that
    she isn’t hurt.

    11 Signs Of Dishonesty In A Relationship

    11 Worst Lies In A Relationship And What They Mean For Your Relationship – Revealed

    How To Deal With A Lying Husband?

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  • Practical Steps To Heal From Codependency And Rebuild Your Life

    Practical Steps To Heal From Codependency And Rebuild Your Life

    Have you ever felt you can’t go out wearing a dress until your husband comes and tells you, “You look great”? Or do you need to ask your wife which restaurant you’ll order food from every single time? Well, chances are you are codependent. You may feel stifled in such relationships because of how much you care about your partner’s validation and concerns. So, is that a bad thing? Well, more often than not, such a connection can’t be termed a healthy relationship. So, how to heal from codependency? Before we answer that question, let’s look at how this word originated.

    Interestingly, the word codependency was first used in the context of alcoholics and victims of substance abuse and their relationships with their friends, partners, and families. The idea was, in such relationships, one person becomes the enabler of the abuse. Now, the word denotes unsatisfying relationships where one partner keeps no stone unturned to appease the other, often at the expense of their own individuality. Read on, as we explore codependency and its signs, find out how it affects you, throw light on the stages of codependency recovery, and offer some tips for healing codependency, with the help of our expert relationship counselor Ruchi Ruuh (Postgraduate Diploma in Counseling Psychology).

    On Codependency And Its Role In A Relationship

    So, what is codependency, really? When does it affect your relationship negatively? Is it only seen in dysfunctional relationships? Ruchi says, “Codependency is a relationship dynamic in which partners rely on each other for emotional validation and a sense of identity. In a lot of cases, it can be a healing dynamic, but it can become unhealthy where there are extreme levels of emotional attachment.”

    Related Reading: Codependent Relationship Quiz

    We’ll look at some basic features of codependency:
    ● In such cases, boundaries are blurred, making it difficult for people to maintain their well-being and independence
    ● Individuals lose a sense of self and they start prioritizing their partner’s needs over their own
    ● There is a lack of personal space, and partners end up becoming too clingy
    ● When codependency is normalized, it can lead to destructive codependent behaviors too. “For instance, people can blackmail their partners or make them feel inadequate,” Ruchi adds.

    For more expert-backed insights, please subscribe to our YouTube Channel.

    However, codependency is a term that many use in a positive sense. Women often take pride in being codependent and not fiercely independent, indicating that they are more balanced in their lives and value their partners’ opinions. Certainly, codependency is also not a hated word like feminism is in a man’s world. But too much codependency can be tricky. So, codependency may not necessarily be negative, but it can turn toxic and abusive if it is extreme. Though not much research has been conducted on this concept, one of the few studies on it has proved that its core components include “a lack of clear sense of self” and emotional imbalance, among other factors.

    How To Know If You Are Codependent

    Codependency has clear signs, and to address it in your relationship, you need to know if you are codependent in an extreme way. So, if you or your partner show any of the following signs, you are definitely in a codependent relationship:

    ● Excessive focus on your partner: If you’re constantly bothered about your partner’s needs and desires over your own and find yourself agreeing to every choice they make (to avoid arguments), you may be in a codependent bond
    ● Loss of identity: Ruchi says, “When you become so entwined with your partner that your entire identity is based on what your partner identifies as or interested in, you are codependent.” An example of this could be an artist who quits painting and takes to golf to please their golfer spouse
    ● Low self-esteem: In codependency, your self-worth depends on your partner’s validation. One critical comment from them can leave you feeling worthless. Ruchi adds, “In such cases, you’re waiting for them to motivate you to take up a hobby or excel at your work. You don’t see your own accomplishments.”
    ● Lack of boundaries: Not being able to say “No” or take up personal space is a sign of codependency. Ruchi adds, “An example of this is when your husband spends a lot of money and then asks you for more. So, even if you don’t have money to spare or are unable to help them, you don’t say “No” just to avoid conflict.”

    Related Reading: How To Stop Being Codependent In A Relationship – Expert Explains

    ● You’re terrified of your partner leaving: One clear sign of codependency is a constant fear of abandonment. Ruchi adds, “In such cases, people are either constantly checking on their partners or are anxious when their partners are out with their friends.” You also tend to accept disrespect for fear of being left alone
    ● You neglect yourself: Your own needs, family, and ambition take a backseat, in such cases. Ruchi explains, “You may not want to make any plans with your family, because you’re scared of losing focus on your partner. You’re scared you might drift apart.”
    ● You dismiss or minimize clear signs of relationship problems: In codependency, you tend to ignore your partner’s flaws and become self-critical instead. Ruchi says, “Even if your partner is verbally abusive or takes advantage of you, you dismiss these patterns.”
    ● Lack of autonomy: Since in codependency, your self-worth is low, you are incapable of taking decisions without consulting your partner. Ruchi feels, “When it comes to big life decisions, considering your partner’s opinions is normal. But the problem begins when you start consulting them for every minor issue, such as whether you should go out with your friends.”

    How To Heal From Codependency – 6 Practical Tips

    So, now that you know what codependency entails, you may ask, “Can you heal codependency while in a relationship?” More importantly, how do you heal from codependency after a breakup? What are some overcoming codependency exercises that you can put to use? Well, in this section, we will give you some practical tips on how to cure codependency:

    1. Raise self-awareness

    Though the stages of codependency recovery may not always be linear, the most significant way to start recovering is being self-aware. Ruchi adds, “Recognizing you’re codependent and acknowledging the behaviors and patterns that are detrimental to your relationship is important. You must locate the signs and find out how codependency is affecting your relationship.”

    It’s important to be aware if you’re codependent

    2. Set boundaries

    One of the best tips for healing codependency is learning to set boundaries. Most people in such relationships are unable to establish healthy boundaries. Ruchi feels, “Understanding why you aren’t able to establish this boundary and why it’s difficult to say “No” is crucial to saving the relationship. Likewise, we need to realize that boundaries aren’t bad. More often than not, any boundary is a self-protective measure.” Here are some ideas on setting healthy boundaries:

    ● Tell your partner they need to ask you before calling their friends to a house party
    ● Make it clear that you aren’t available for household activities during work hours, even if you work from home
    ● Tell them they can eat whatever they want but shouldn’t stop you from enjoying a meal of your choice

    Related Reading: 9 Signs Of Unhealthy Compromise In A Relationship

    3. Indulge in self-care

    If you’re still wondering how to cure codependency, you can try self-love. A codependent person will overlook their true identity in relationships because the focus is on seeking their partner’s validation. So, it’s your personal responsibility to make yourself a priority. Ruchi feels, “One should shift the focus to working hard for oneself, building self-compassion, finding a sense of self through activities that one likes.” You have to switch your focus to your own happiness and not feel guilty about it. Likewise, while prioritizing your emotional health, don’t forget about your physical health. You can do this by:

    ● Pampering yourself with a spa day
    ● Eating nutritious foods, getting enough sleep, and taking care of your well-being
    ● Taking up a hobby that you had quit earlier, such as music or sports
    ● Doing things that bring you joy and you don’t find time for anymore, such as reading or writing poetry
    ● Restarting your career if you quit it in the past because of the relationship

    4. Build a network of supportive friends

    Friends and family can be of great help in a person’s recovery process. They offer a safe space to express your concerns. Ruchi agrees, “If you have supportive friends and family, who understand that it’s a tough emotional journey for you, have a conversation with them. This will help you realize that there are parts of you that need to heal.” Likewise, fun and social connections will also help you focus on other things apart from your relationship.

    Related Reading: The 7 Fundamentals Of Support In A Relationship

    5. Ditch unrealistic expectations

    One of the best ways to overcome codependency is to ditch perfection. Nothing in the world is perfect. And relationships aren’t either. So, the unrealistic expectations and standards in our relationships should be done away with. Ruchi feels, “Aiming at so much perfection isn’t necessary. One should work on the relationship issues to build a healthy bond instead.” You can do this by:

    ● Not worrying about how clean the house is, as long as you make an effort to clean it
    ● Focusing more on the quality time you spend with your partner than whether you appear perfect to them

    Dysfunctional Relationship
    Dysfunctional relationship

    6. Seek professional help

    If you aren’t able to fix codependency in your relationship or if you’re facing an uncomfortable or unsafe situation because of it, it’s always better to get help from a counselor who specializes in relationship issues. Ruchi adds, “A counselor can offer the guidance and tools required to address codependency. They can also provide a safe space for you to understand the negative patterns of codependency and help you navigate better.” If you need help with professional counseling, skilled and licensed therapists on Bonobology’s panel are here for you.

    What If You Are Addicted To Codependency

    The other name of codependency is ‘relationship addiction’. But can you be addicted to codependency? If yes, what leads to this addiction and how can it be addressed? Ruchi explains, “Codependent patterns develop in childhood. They stem from childhood trauma or peculiar dynamics in dysfunctional families, such as neglect, abuse, over-protection of children, and other unhealthy behaviors. Children in such relationships with their parents feel only their parents can save them and protect them from the world. What entails is an insecure attachment with parents. So, their parents’ approval is the only motivating factor in their lives.

    how to heal from codependency
    Codependency is also known as ‘relationship addiction’

    “Parents of such children may have been too anxious or avoidant. So, their children couldn’t create a secure bond with them,” she adds. These children, as adults later, may display repetitive patterns in their relationships, such as:

    ● The need for someone to fix their relationships or rescue them
    ● Abandonment issues, or the fear that if they don’t act in a certain way, they will be left
    ● Obsessive thoughts, such as worrying that whatever they do might affect their partners

    Related Reading: 11 Expert-Backed Tips For Breaking Codependency In Relationship

    All such emotional highs and lows in their relationships as adults may create an addiction that they need to heal from. They can’t function in healthy relationships. What is needed is the urge to heal and focus on codependency recovery. Ruchi suggests that one should “work with a good therapist, have a good support system, and let go of addictive beliefs and repeated patterns” to de-addict themselves of codependent behavior patterns. Group therapy and family therapy also help in such cases. She adds, “Healing from codependency can be a challenging process but may offer people a chance to discover a new side to their relationships. It may eventually be great for their self-esteem and confidence.”

    Key Pointers

    • Codependency is a relationship dynamic wherein one of the partners becomes too
      concerned about pleasing the other partner, often at the expense of their own interests
      and individuality
    • Codependent people usually show tell-tale signs, such as lack of boundaries, lack of
      self-worth, self-neglect, lack of autonomy, and other codependent tendencies
    • Overcoming codependency exercises include raising self-awareness, creating
      boundaries, focusing on self-care, building a network of trustworthy and supporting
      friends, and ditching unrealistic expectations

    So, now that you know what codependency entails, what its signs are, and how to deal with codependency in a relationship, we hope you will no longer let codependency ruin your bond with your partner. We hope you now have an answer to the question, “Can you heal codependency while in a relationship?” Remember, a relationship isn’t about being entangled irreversibly in a stifling mesh, it is about rediscovering yourself with your partner. Likewise, recovering from codependency is possible. So, instead of looking for external validation in your relationship, focus on your own feelings. Let the love and connection build up from within and show you the path ahead.

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  • I Don’t Trust My Boyfriend – 9 Probable Reasons And 6 Helpful Tips

    I Don’t Trust My Boyfriend – 9 Probable Reasons And 6 Helpful Tips

    Healthy relationships are incomplete without a key ingredient: trust. Imagine you’re hanging out with your gals, and the first sentence out of your mouth is: “I don’t trust my boyfriend.” Sister, we have a problem. But hey, you’re not alone in this vortex of suspicion and uncertainty. We’ve all been there, questioning if our significant other is hiding secrets like a squirrel keeping its hoarded nuts away from sight.

    Past relationships, trust issues, or a Netflix series such as You — there could be many reasons that can make you suspicious of your boyfriend, even though he may not have done anything wrong. This article will explore the probable reasons behind such distrust. It will also throw light upon the many ways you can overcome this issue, with expert advice from Ridhi Golechha (Masters in Psychology),  who specializes in loveless marriages. So, grab a bucket of ice cream, get hold of your fanciest diary, and hop on! 

    Is It Normal To Not Trust Your Boyfriend?

    Ah, trust issues! The ever-present gremlins lurking in the corners of our minds, ready to pounce on any successful relationship. We’ve all been there, questioning whether we should trust our boyfriends or keep a hawk’s eye on their every move. But, is it normal to not trust your boyfriend? 

    Ridhi says, “Although you might feel that it is abnormal to not feel secure around your boyfriend anymore, it is perfectly normal, especially if you have gone through any form of betrayal. When your inherent quality of trust is broken, you constantly feel on edge and might struggle to build trust.”

    According to a survey, 10% of married women don’t trust their partners, while 9 percent also check their husband’s social media accounts to see what they’re writing about and who they’re speaking to. 

    So, while it is normal to doubt your partner and wonder whether he talks to attractive people, it is also important to assess the source of your doubts. This can help determine if your insecurities arise from internal issues or valid concerns.

    Related Reading: How To Trust Someone Again After They Hurt You – Expert Advice

    Why Do You Need To Trust Your Boyfriend?

    What should I do if I don’t trust my boyfriend? While the most obvious reaction is to walk away, such impulsive decisions, driven by fleeting emotions, should be avoided.

    Ridhi explains, “The reason you need to trust your boyfriend is because you want to be in that relationship. For any relationship to be healthy, trust is an important pillar. Let’s say you have a car, and you use that car every day to commute. However, you don’t trust that car, because you feel it might break down. Imagine the anxiety you will go through each morning. It is the same case with a relationship.”

    Trust is essential for a healthy relationship. If your boyfriend hasn’t given you any concrete reason to doubt his trustworthiness, it’s important to rebuild trust in the relationship. Constantly doubting, creating scenarios in your mind, and being skeptical around his female friends can strain the relationship. Here are some reasons to trust your boyfriend:

    1. To foster emotional intimacy

    Trust forms the foundation of emotional intimacy and is one of the most obvious signs of love. In a trusting relationship, you feel safe to open up, be vulnerable, and share your deepest thoughts and feelings. Relationships work better when you know that both of you can support and understand each other on a profound level, fostering a deeper connection. 

    2. To ensure mutual respect

    Trust and respect go hand in hand like a dynamic duo fighting off relationship villains. When you trust your boyfriend, you have faith in his character and hold him in high esteem. It’s like having a secret superpower that lets you see the best in each other and feel safe. 

    This mutual respect fosters a sense of equality and partnership in your relationship. You appreciate his strengths, support his aspirations, and have confidence that he has your back. Trust lays the groundwork for a healthy and balanced connection.

    3. To maintain effective communication

    Imagine a scenario where trust is absent. You find yourself tiptoeing around sensitive topics, afraid that one wrong word might cause a negative reaction. But when trust is present, it’s like having a supercharged communication gadget in your relationship toolkit. 

    When there is trust in the relationship, you can openly express your needs, concerns, and desires, knowing that your words will be received with understanding and compassion. Trust removes barriers and allows you to navigate conflicts with grace and empathy, building bridges instead of walls.

    Trusting your boyfriend is important when you need to resolve fights and arguments

    4. To resolve conflicts

    Trust acts as a buffer during diagreements and helps with conflict resolution in a relationship. When trust is present, you approach conflicts with the belief that your boyfriend has good intentions and that you can work through challenges together. 

    “When you fight but trust your partner, you will only focus on the problem at hand. However, if you have trust issues, a conflict will be a chance to bring out hidden anger toward your boyfriend,” Ridhi adds.

    Trust enables you to navigate disagreements constructively, finding solutions that strengthen your bond without causing further damage. You don’t assume that your boyfriend is out there to get you or that you both are in a war zone and you must defeat your enemy.

    5. To ensure security and stability

    Trust acts as a solid foundation, providing a sense of security and stability in your relationship. Imagine trust as the sturdy ground beneath your feet, assuring you that your boyfriend is committed, loyal, and reliable. This security allows you to let go of anxiety and uncertainty, freeing you to embrace the love and joy in your partnership. You feel confident, knowing that you can rely on your boyfriend’s support and presence through life’s ups and downs. Trust creates a safe haven where you can both flourish and find solace in each other’s arms.

    Related Reading: Expert Lists Out 15 Activities To Rebuild Trust In A Relationship

    6. To focus on growth and personal development

    Trusting your boyfriend encourages personal growth and development. When you trust him, you feel supported in pursuing your own goals and aspirations. You can take risks, knowing that he will be there to cheer you on and offer guidance when needed. Trust fosters an environment where you can both grow individually and as a couple.

    You always have the choice to not trust your boyfriend, even if there seems to be no concrete reason for your lack of faith. However, it’s important to understand the potential consequences of this decision. Here’s a closer look at what can happen if you choose to doubt your boyfriend without valid reasons:

    1. Not trusting your boyfriend can create constant tension in your relationship 
    1. When there are trust issues, communication often suffers. You may find it challenging to express your feelings openly and honestly, fearing that your words will be met with skepticism or judgment
    2. Without trust, emotional intimacy goes for a toss. You may find yourself holding back, hesitant to open up fully or be vulnerable with your boyfriend
    3. Not trusting your boyfriend without valid reasons can lead to a self-fulfilling prophecy. Constant doubt and suspicion can create an atmosphere of mistrust that affects both your actions and his
    4. By withholding trust, you may inadvertently limit both your own and your boyfriend’s potential for growth. You may miss out on opportunities for shared adventures and personal development
    5. Constantly doubting your boyfriend can take a toll on your mental and emotional well-being. It can lead to heightened anxiety, insecurity in the relationship, and a constant state of worry
    6. It becomes challenging to envision a long-lasting and fulfilling relationship without trust as its cornerstone

    It’s important to note that trust is not blind faith but a balance between vulnerability and discernment. It requires open communication, understanding, and a willingness to let go of hurtful experiences from one’s past. If your boyfriend has consistently shown his trustworthiness, and you have no concrete reason to doubt him, giving trust a chance to flourish in your relationship may be worth it.

    Related Reading: 7 Reasons You Feel Uneasy In Your Relationship And 3 Things You Can Do

    9 Probable Reasons Why You Do Not Trust Your Boyfriend 

    The feeling of “I don’t trust my boyfriend,” as we have discussed, can stem from many reasons that have nothing to do with your boyfriend. Here are 9 probable reasons why you might be having a hard time building trust in a relationship with the love of your life:

    1. Past infidelity

    Imagine that you gave your trust to a person and then found out that they were sleeping with someone else. This can deeply impact your self-esteem and shake your trust. 

    “These things can block you from trusting your partner because that void of self-esteem is always going to keep you on the edge,” explains Ridhi.

    It takes tremendous effort to rebuild trust and believe that history won’t repeat itself. The fear of being hurt again may keep your guard up, making it difficult for you to trust your partner completely. However, “…you must work on filling that void of self-esteem before you enter another relationship, otherwise, you will not be able to build a trusting relationship with any partner,” says Ridhi.  

    For more expert-backed insights, please follow our YouTube channel

    2. Dishonesty

    Honesty forms the bedrock of trust. When your boyfriend repeatedly engages in dishonest behavior, whether it’s telling white lies or hiding information, it undermines the very essence of trust. Each lie chips away at the fragile bond between you. This leaves you questioning his motives and wondering if there are more hidden truths that could shatter your trust.

    Jess, an old colleague of mine, shared her experience regarding a similar situation. She said, “He lied once and that was it for me. I just couldn’t look at him the same way again. It was only after months that I realized that my issue wasn’t what he did but the fact that he lied about it. So, to move past the issue, I had to address the main problem and not the underlying reason.”

    Related Reading: The 6 Infidelity Recovery Stages: Practical Tips To Heal

    3. Lack of transparency

    Transparency in a relationship allows for an open and honest exchange of thoughts and feelings. But when your boyfriend becomes secretive about his activities, whereabouts, or even his communication, it can be disconcerting. This can cause you to lose trust. The absence of transparency creates a void, making it challenging to believe he is being truthful or is willing to share his life fully with you.

    4. Inconsistent behavior

    Consistency provides a sense of stability and predictability in a relationship. When your boyfriend’s behavior fluctuates wildly, it can leave you feeling disoriented and unsure of where you stand. One day, he may shower you with affection and attention, while the next, he may withdraw and become distant. These inconsistencies cast shadows of doubt, making it difficult to trust his intentions and reliability.

    5. Flirting or excessive attention-seeking

    Trust is easily eroded when your boyfriend flirts with others, in person or on social media, consistently or seeks excessive attention from his female friends. It raises questions about his commitment and loyalty. You begin to question if he is truly satisfied with the love and affection you provide. Can you be sure that he won’t cross any boundaries? These uncertainties can create a constant sense of unease and doubt.

    6. Breaking promises

    Promises are meant to be kept, as they signify trust and dependability. However, if your boyfriend repeatedly fails to fulfill his promises or commitments, the foundation of trust may be fractured. 

    “When someone promises us something, it becomes a mini commitment. For example, they say they will come home at 8. However, they come home at 12, and this happens repeatedly over months and years. It makes us feel as if we are not important enough and makes us feel disrespected because they do not keep their word. So we start harboring anger and begin to not trust them,” Ridhhi explains. 

    7. Lack of emotional support

     A study on emotional support in relationships states, “Giving and receiving emotional support benefits both your relationship and you individually.” When your boyfriend fails to provide the comfort and empathy you seek during challenging times consistently, it can create a sense of isolation. Trust is nurtured when you know that your partner is there for you, ready to lend a listening ear, and offer solace. The absence of emotional support can leave you doubting whether he truly understands and cares for your emotional well-being.

    8. Past trauma or betrayal

    Previous experiences of trauma or betrayal can linger in your heart, affecting your ability to trust fully in your current relationship. The wounds of the past can cast a shadow over your present, making it difficult to let go of the fear that history might repeat itself. It takes time and patience to heal from past wounds and learn to trust again, even if your current partner hasn’t given you a reason to doubt his trustworthiness.

    Related Reading: 7 Expert Tips To Help You Accept Your Partner’s Past

    9. Intuition or gut feeling

    Sometimes, your intuition acts as a silent guide, sending you subtle signals that something may be amiss. While it’s essential not to jump to conclusions based solely on intuition, persistent feelings of unease or mistrust should not be ignored. It’s important to explore these emotions, communicate openly with your partner, and seek clarity to address any underlying issues that may be impacting your relationship.

    6 Helpful Tips To Help You Trust Your Boyfriend 

    Building a strong and trusting relationship requires time, effort, and a willingness to address any problems that may arise. If you find yourself facing challenges or concerns in your relationship, it’s crucial to invest the time and energy needed to work through them. Here are some ways to navigate relationship problems to cultivate a trusting and healthy bond:

    1. Reflect on your concerns

    Take some time to understand why you have stopped trusting your boyfriend. Identify the specific issues or behaviors that are causing this distrust. This self-reflection will help you articulate your feelings more effectively when discussing them with your boyfriend.

    2. Share your feelings with your boyfriend

    Once you have a clear understanding of your concerns, have an open and honest conversation with your boyfriend. Express your feelings in a non-accusatory manner, emphasizing on why you are concerned about specific behaviors or actions. Give him an opportunity to explain or provide his perspective.

    “Trust is a two-way street, and pointing out your key issues to your boyfriend will help him understand you better and work on taking away your doubts,” says Ridhi

    stories about suffering and healing

    3. Seek reassurance from your boyfriend

    If you have concerns about his actions or intentions, ask for reassurance. Explain that you need him to prove his trustworthiness by addressing your concerns and taking steps to rebuild your trust. This may involve setting boundaries, making compromises, or implementing changes that can positively impact the relationship.

    Ridhi adds, “This can mean assuring yourself  that their little white lies have nothing to do with you but stem from a void within them and that their avoidant attachment style may have caused this behavior.”

    4. Consider the input of trusted friends

    Seek the advice and perspectives of close friends. Sometimes, an external perspective can shed light on a situation like this and provide valuable insights. Share your concerns and ask for their honest opinions. However, remember to make decisions based on what feels right for you.

    5. Focus on the present and the future

    While it’s important to acknowledge past concerns, try not to dwell too much on them. Instead, focus on the present and the future of your relationship. Evaluate whether your boyfriend’s actions align with your shared goals and values. Look for positive changes that indicate a commitment to a healthier, more trustworthy relationship.

    Related Reading: 9 Ways To Fix A Relationship After Trust Is Broken

    6. Give it time and monitor the progress 

    Rebuilding trust takes time and effort from both partners. Set realistic expectations and be patient as your boyfriend works towards regaining your trust. Keep an open line of communication and monitor his actions and consistency over time. Small steps of improvement can gradually restore your confidence in the relationship. If the problem persists, couples’ counseling can be a good option for you and your partner. 

    Key Pointers

    • It is normal to not trust your boyfriend because of his actions or your past trauma
    • You must work on building trust and faith in your partner if you want to be in a healthy relationship
    • Lack of trust can affect both you and your partner mentally and physically
    • Infidelity, broken promises, or gut feelings might cause you to doubt your partner
    • Work on communication to build trust, especially if your boyfriend has given you no reason to be doubtful

    It can be extremely difficult to build a trusting relationship when all you can see are red flags. However, put your doubts to the test before trusting your gut. We hope this article helps you decipher why you are unable to trust your boyfriend and then take the necessary steps toward healing. 

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