Tag: Carrie Lowrance

32 Ideas for a Girls’ Day Out

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One of the best things in life is having a day with your girls. Although you enjoy your loved ones, it’s nice to take a day off and do something fun. Not only does it feel good to be free of responsibilities for a day, but it’s also good for your emotional and mental health. You can just relax and have fun.

If you are looking for some ideas for your next girls’ day out, here are some ideas:

1. Spa Day

Either spend money and go to the spa or someone can host a spa day at their house. Everyone can bring their own grooming tools and products, as well as a snack or beverage to share.

2. Go to a Museum

Research different museums in your area and choose one to go to. You could even do this several times and rotate museums.

3. Eat Out

Go out for a nice brunch or lunch together. This is your time to splurge!

4. Volunteer for a Cause

Make a list of causes that you all care about and put names into a hat. Then have someone pick from the hat to decide where you will volunteer. You could do this several times and line up volunteering opportunities a few months in advance if you wish.

5. Go on a Day Trip

Take a quick trip to an attraction, town, or shopping center that you have been wanting to see a few towns away or somewhere in your state.

6. Go Shopping

There is nothing like going on a shopping trip, but it can get boring when you go to the same old places. Do some research and find the out-of-the-way shopping centers in your town or the next town over. You can also look for outlet malls and specialty malls that are a few hours away in your state. (And don’t underestimate how fun antique shopping can be!)

7. Movie Day Out

Going to the movies can get pricey, but it doesn’t have to. Look on the website for the movie theaters in your town and see if they have any specials going on. If you can find an independently owned movie theater in your town, you’ve found a gem. Chances are, ticket prices will be much lower than in the big chain theaters.

8. Take a Class Together

Talk over your interests with your girls and see if any resonate with all of you, and then take a class on that thing. If you all have different interests, over a few months, take a class together for each lady’s personal interest. For example, Cathy may enjoy cooking, Laura may enjoy knitting, and Christine may enjoy making jewelry. Take a cooking class in January, a knitting class in February, and a jewelry-making class in March. This way, everyone will get a turn taking a class on their specific interest.

9. Start a Book Club

If your friends are a bunch of bookworms, start a book club together. Invite coworkers, fellow church members, or neighbors and see how your friendship circle grows!

10. Go for Dessert

Go for dessert together and order the most decadent thing on the menu.

11. Go for Drinks

Go out for drinks and have some friendly conversation. (No, this doesn’t mean you have to consume alcohol. Mocktails, coffees, and other iced teas and fruity drinks make for great refreshers with friends.)

12. Visit an Amusement Park

Head to an amusement park and let your inner child out.

13. Visit a Farmer’s Market

Go to the local farmer’s market and pick up some farm fresh fruits and vegetables. Sometimes you can find other things too, like fresh meat, homemade baked goods, jellies, jams, and homemade candy.

14. Scrapbook Together

Spend some time scrapbooking together and talk about your favorite memories.

15. Have a Brainstorming Session

If you all are close, each person comes with a problem that needs solving, and you help each other find solutions. Sometimes we don’t even have a problem; it could be something like wanting to do “this thing” but not knowing how to get started.

16. Take a Fitness Class Together

If losing weight is a goal for you and your pals, take a fitness class together, and, if you can, keep it up to hold everyone accountable.

17. Take a Pottery Class

If you are looking for something unique to do, take a pottery class together.

18. Have a Tea Party

Host a tea party at one of your houses with tea, finger sandwiches, and little cakes. To make it more fun, everyone can dress up, and don’t forget to keep your pinky up!

19. Make Special Drinks Together

Choose two or three special drinks that you would like and have a class together.

20. Go to a Food Festival or Cookoff

Look for festivals in your area and across your state. Festivals are fun to go to and often go on all year. Some ideas are strawberry festivals, pumpkin festivals, or chili cookoffs.

21. Rollerskate

If you have a roller rink in your area, dust off those skates and hit the rink for some nostalgia. 80’s tunes, anyone?

22. Play Games Together

Get together and play some board games, video games, or outdoor games together. This could be a competitive game of Scrabble, a favorite video game, or a game of basketball or tennis.

23. Arrange Flowers

Buy some flowers, either fake or real, and some vases and spend an afternoon arranging them. Choose a few different projects like bouquets, a corsage, or a vase and create something beautiful.

24. Try a Cat Cafe

As long as no one is allergic, spend some time at your local cat cafe. Not only are the cats cute to look at and available for adoption, but hanging out with cats has lots of health benefits like reducing stress. Who knows, you may find your new best friend. Not a cat person? Have your friends and their furry pups meet you at the local dog park.

25. Virtual Reality Lounge

Check out a local virtual reality lounge in your area for some new and exciting fun.

26. Escape Room

If you aren’t claustrophobic and like games and figuring things out, head to your local escape room for some fun.

27. Bowling

Go to the bowling alley and play a few games. You could even create your own bowling league for the day, with special names like Gutter Ball Gloria, Strikem’ Out Stacy, and Brenda Bowling Shoes. You could even come up with categories and have prizes for the winners. (Ex: Most pins knocked down, best gutter ball throw, and most balls in the gutter.)

28. Cook Together

Choose two or three easy meals you would like to make and get together at someone’s house to cook. This way, everyone can take home two to three meals to put in the freezer.

29. Bake Together

This is a little sweeter than cooking together, but pick two or three things you would like to bake together so everyone has something to take home. You could make a coffee cake or muffins for breakfast, cookies for a snack, and another kind of cake for a special dessert.

30. Go “Booking”

Another idea for the bookworms in your life is to spend the day going to used bookstores in your area and then going out for dinner. This is a great way to add to the to-be-read pile at a good price.

31. Go to the theater

See if your local community center is putting on a show you would like to see and get tickets. Then dress up fancy and have a great time.

32. Sports Night

Who says boys are the only ones who can love sports? If you and your gals have a favorite team, whether in football, baseball, or even curling, get together for a big game night with special dips, finger foods, and fun!

There are many great ways to spend the day with your girlfriends. Whatever you choose, let your hair down and have a great time. You deserve it.

Photo Credit: ©Unsplash/Priscilla Du Preez

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Carrie Lowrance

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June 6, 2024
What Does Marriage Give You That Domestic Partnership Does Not?

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Marriage versus domestic partnership can be a hot topic. Some people are okay with it, while others are not. With cohabitation becoming the norm and fewer people getting married, it’s no wonder this can be a confusing topic for most people. However, most people may not know that there are many things that marriage gives you that a domestic partnership doesn’t.

Comprehensive Legal Recognition

When people get married, both legal and federal governments recognize it.

Tax Benefits

Couples who are married can file their taxes jointly, thus potentially reducing their tax liability.

Spousal Benefits

When you get married, you automatically qualify for spouse benefits, including spousal Social Security, Medicare, public assistance, veteran’s military, and disability benefits.

Photo credit: © Getty Images/monkeybusinessimages

Medical Decision Making

By being recognized as a legal union, spouses can make health decisions regarding each other and visit each other in healthcare settings.

Inheritance Rights

Each spouse may inherit property from each other when one spouse dies.

Immigration Sponsorship

One spouse can sponsor or petition for immigration on their spouse’s behalf.

Divorce Protection

If you and your spouse should divorce, there are laws in place that govern how divorce works compared to the messiness of a breakup in a domestic partnership.

Higher Life Expectancy

Married people enjoy a longer life expectancy on average, possibly because they have a healthier lifestyle and are more content with their lives.

Better Sleep

Studies show that being in a lasting relationship and having a partner’s presence close by helps improve sleep quality. This could be because of better health, more normalized routines, and better financial security.

Increased Sense of Companionship and Happiness

We can feel connected and happy without being married, like when dating. However, married couples share the highest form of intimacy and companionship a person can share with someone.

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Improved Health and Lifestyle

There is a silent contract in marriages of understanding and compromise. This means compromising on certain habits that can affect your partner, like not smoking, so they aren’t inhaling your smoke or quitting fast food so as not to tempt your partner on their diet. It’s about focusing on the positive, like eating more home-cooked meals, exercising together, and doing other things to improve your health and lifestyle. Married people also have lower rates of drug and alcohol abuse.

Less Stress and Depression

Marriage is associated with a lower rate of symptoms of stress and depression. This is because married couples have more emotional support and readily available advice from friends, family, and professionals. Couples also share responsibilities in marriage, which can lead to emotional fulfillment and take away the stress compared to someone who lives alone.

An Ideal Environment to Raise Children In

Marriage gives couples the stability and confidence to raise children together. Children are most influenced by their parents, and those who come from married households have better social skills, academic performance, and overall development compared to those from divorced or unmarried-parent households. As a former daycare teacher, I can attest to how desperately children need to be in a household with a healthy marriage. I have seen so many angry, broken, and broken-hearted kids from divorced and single-parent households. Kids need stability in every area of their lives, especially at home.

Positive Lifestyle Changes

Over time, married people take on each other’s habits and mannerisms. One of you could be a spender, the other a saver, or one of you could lead a less active lifestyle while the other is very active. These opposite scenarios can lead to positive changes down the line.

Physical Security

Knowing that you have someone with whom to share life and responsibilities gives an extra layer of physical security.

More Social Capital

Both parties in a marriage benefit from social capital, meaning more access to social and cultural resources, better integration into communities, and improved social interactions.

Prestige and Pride

When couples get married, they have a sense of pride that reflects society’s perception of them and how society treats them. This also includes tangible benefits like club memberships, invitations to social events, etc.

No Gift Tax

Certain monetary gifts are subject to the gift tax. However, married people are exempt from tax regardless of the amount, as long as both are citizens of the country.

No Estate Tax

Individuals deal with estate tax after they pass away. If the money or assets left to someone in a will exceed a certain amount, estate tax comes into play. However, with married couples, one can leave as much money as they want to their spouse.

Photo credit: ©GettyImages/Ippei Naoi

Joint Accounts

Opening a joint account with a spouse is a great way for both parties to stay on top of things financially. Both parties being able to see what’s in the account and having monthly finance meetings helps stop conflicts in their tracks and is a great way to build trust and loyalty with your spouse.

Combined Credit Score

Married couples can be eligible for more lucrative loans based on their combined credit score. This is especially helpful for those who have very low credit scores.

Advantages in Mortgages

When both people in a marriage work, pay their bills on time, and have a decent credit score, they have access to better mortgage deals than if they were to apply for a mortgage individually. Mortgage lenders prefer married couples because they are more apt to pay their entire mortgage.

Social Security Payouts

When a spouse passes away, the surviving spouse receives entitlement to survivor benefits. This is common in blue-collar jobs and the military. Besides death, a spouse can avail social security payouts in other circumstances, such as if one spouse becomes disabled (especially if it’s job-related) or cannot work because of serious health issues.

Health Insurance

Married couples typically get a plan to cover the whole family. In the meantime, one can list their spouse as a dependent.

Low Rent and Cost of Living

This is a given, but being married drastically cuts expenses compared to each of you living on your own.

Emergency Room Benefits

If your partner is involved in a serious accident or critical medical emergency, you will not be allowed to ride in the ambulance or be present in the emergency room or ICU. If you are a spouse, then you would have these privileges.

Right to Sue Someone on the Deceased’s Behalf

If your spouse is involved in a willful wrongdoing, you can sue the person or entity for wrongful death. Scenarios like this usually happen in blue-collar jobs or jobs that require intense physical involvement and risks.

Last Rites and Funeral Arrangements

Unless stated in their spouse’s will and testament, the spouse has complete authority to plan funeral arrangements. This includes whether to cremate or bury, and, in certain cases, spouses can sign off on things like organ and retina donation.

Family Leave

Married couples have the benefit of being eligible for different leave, including parental leave, caretaker leave of a sick spouse, and bereavement leave for the passing of a family member.

Photo credit: © Getty Images/jacoblund

Approval in the Eyes of God

This is the most important benefit of all, being approved in the eyes of God. He instituted marriage as the only way to cohabitate as a couple for specific reasons and to help protect his children.

Having a Prenup

Agreeing to a prenup and formalizing it later is a great way for couples to guarantee a fair and judicial division of assets if they get divorced.

A Solid Foundation

You and your partner got married because you love each other and have built your relationship on the most solid foundation you can have: God. There is something there that binds you together compared to domestic relationships, which have less foundation and security.

A Solid Support System

Married couples have a more stable support system, including parents, brothers and sisters, and in-laws to help during difficult and stressful situations.

Being a Christian couple in this day and age can be very difficult, with all the conflicting opinions on what is right and wrong out there. It’s very easy to get pressured by friends to go the simple route and do what everyone else is doing. Even our churches don’t always preach what is right, sometimes bending the truth as they see fit. It’s a scary and confusing time for Christian couples. The bottom line is, God gave us marriage and all the benefits of it for a reason. It’s protecting us emotionally, physically, mentally, and spiritually.

People wonder why they are so confused with love, when our society has twisted love and intimacy into a casual, cheap thing. Our society has turned something wonderful, like marriage, into something horrible and stifling. Marriage has so many benefits over domestic partnerships that it’s worth it for people to take a second look, read their Bibles, and see marriage as God intended it to be.

Photo Credit: ©iStock/Getty Images Plus/fizkes

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Carrie Lowrance

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May 15, 2024
25 Practical Ways You Can Show Your Grandchildren You Love Them

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One of the best things in an older person’s life is their grandchildren. I know so many people who are grandparents and are over the moon about their grandchildren. They like to spend as much time as possible with them and miss them if they live far away or aren’t around as much. Of course, they love spoiling them; what grandparent doesn’t? Still, there are some practical ways you can show your grands that you love them. Here are some ideas to show your love.

1. Spend Quality Time with Them

Spend some quality time with your grandchildren. By quality time, I mean doing something together where you interact and can have conversations. Make sure it’s something you both enjoy, like going on a hike, doing a craft, or making a favorite dessert.

2. Write a Letter from the Heart

In this world of technology, sending your grandchildren a quick email or text is easy. Still, it isn’t the most personal way to connect. Instead, sit down and take some time to write a heartfelt letter to your grandchildren. You can do this for a group and express your heartfelt love for all of them, or you can write each of them a letter individually to let them know how special they are and how much you love them. You can share your favorite memories with them, what you hope for them in the future, and your favorite qualities that they have. Your letter will become a cherished keepsake.

3. Make a Cookbook Together

Photo credit: GettyImages/jacoblund

Sit down and compile a cookbook together with your favorite family recipes. To make it even more special, hire someone to create a professional cover and format the interior. Then, upload it to Amazon and have it printed without publishing it. That way, you can print copies for friends and family without it being on sale to the public.

4. Make a Personalized Storybook

Sit down and write a story with your grandchildren about them and how special your bond is. Have them create the illustrations. Once again, to make it even more special, hire someone to create a professional cover for it and format the interior. Then, set up an Amazon KDP account and decide whether you want to publish it or not.

5. Plan a Special Date

Set up a day to go out, just you and your grandchildren. This could be a trip to the zoo, the children’s museum, or even an amusement park or shopping complex. This will show them how much you love spending quality time with them.

6. Pray for Them

There is nothing more powerful than praying for your grandkids. Ask the Lord to help them, guide them, and guard them.

7. Pray with Them

Praying with them about things that are bothering them is another priceless way that you can show them you love them.

8. Cook Their Favorite Meals

Making their favorite meals is also a great way to show your love. Many times, there are dishes our grandmothers make that are hard to duplicate. We try to, but it’s not quite the same. For me, it’s my grandmother’s buttermilk cookies. Food brings us together and is a great way to show your love.

9. Plan a Treasure Hunt

Design a treasure hunt according to your grandchildren’s interests. You can do this in your backyard or even in your home if it’s raining.

10. Send a Care Package

Do your grandchildren live far away, or are they at college or even in the military? Then, send them a care package with some of their favorite things and some handwritten notes. This will brighten their day and make them feel even more connected to you.

11. Make a Memory Book

Gather your favorite memories via photo and use a site like Shutterfly to make a book. My best friend did this for me and my husband after our wedding. Your grandkids will love being able to look back at all the memories they have made with you and will cherish the book forever.

12. Have a Movie Night

Have a movie night with your grandkids and snuggle up together with blankets and their favorite snacks. They will love spending time with you.

13. Actively Listen

When you are talking with your grandkids, actively listen to them and ask questions to let them know you hear them and are paying attention.

14. Teach Them How to Do Something

If you know a skill, trade, or have a favorite hobby, share that with your grandchildren. Teach them how to bake, change the oil in a car, and how to change a tire, or build something, for example. They will appreciate it later on in life.

Photo credit: ©GettyImages/Zinkevych

15. Share Things with Them Every Day

Share something fun with your grandkids every day. Send them a funny meme, share an article about something they like, or tell them about your day.

16. Have a Grandparent/Grandkids Camp

Take a week in the summer and have your kids stay with you for “camp.” Plan the activities and other things you will do together ahead of time.

17. Spend Time with Them One-On-One

Take each of your grandkids out or have them over one at a time so you can spend some one-on-one time with them. This way, you can focus on them alone and not have to worry about the other children in your care. Your grandkids will feel special and loved by having this time with you.

18. Take Them to Practice and Activities

If you can still drive, as your grandkids get older, offer to take them to after-school practices and activities. Your grandkids will love being picked up at school, and their parents will be very grateful for the help.

19. Send Them Mail

Kids love getting mail, so send them something once a month. This could be a card, a letter, or even a special subscription box that correlates with one of their favorite interests.

20. Connect Weekly

Make sure you connect with your grandkids on a weekly basis. This can be via email, text, face timing, or a phone call. Let them know their importance to you by carving out time for them every week.

21. Fly Them Out to See You

If you have the means, monitor airfares and fly your grandchildren out to see you when you find a good price.

22. Share Cake on Everyone’s Birthday

If you live far away, celebrate your grandkid’s birthdays by baking a cake together via video chat. You can make a small cake while your grandchild and their parents can go whole hog on a two-tier, fully decorated cake. Make sure you bake and decorate your cake together via Facetime on your tablet or laptop if possible.

23. Record a Story

You can do this in several ways. Hallmark has recordable storybooks where you can read the story and it will record your voice. You can also record yourself reading it and send it to your grandkids on their phone. I read an article about a grandma who started her own YouTube channel, and she records herself reading storybooks to her grandchildren who live far away. I think this is very cool.

Photo credit: ©GettyImages/Edwin Tan

24. Go Visit

Once again, if you find cheap airfare, book a flight and visit your grandchildren. They will appreciate the time and effort it took to spend time with them.

25. Read a Book to Them

If you live close by, spend an afternoon reading their favorite books to them.

There are many practical ways you can spend time with your grandkids, both near and far, to show them you love them. Choose a few options from the list above and start planning how you are going to spend your time the next time you are together.

Photo credit: ©GettyImages/andreswd

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Carrie Lowrance

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April 25, 2024
21 Amazing Reasons God Created Grandparents

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Grandparents are one of the best things that God created. They bring so much love into our lives and they love our families. Still, God didn’t just create them to spoil our kids. Grandparents have a unique role in the lives of our families and God has created them for some amazing reasons.

They take joy in their grandchildren and love them no matter what. This doesn’t mean that they approve of everything they do, and most will say something if they don’t, but overall, they love their grandchildren. Also, they always love their adult children and are there for them.

2. They Anchor the Family

Grandparents can be the glue that holds families together. When people become parents, they often focus on the immediate members of their families, including their spouse or partner and their other children if they have them.

They also focus on the immediate needs of their families. However, grandparents help anchor us to where we came from and the legacy of our families.

3. They Are a Support System

Grandparents are one of the best support systems we have. They are always there no matter what is going on in our lives with a listening ear or shoulder to cry on.

4. They Have Wisdom

With their years of lived experiences, grandparents hold a lot of wisdom to impart to younger generations. Listening to their advice and stories enriches our lives and teaches us what to do in certain situations.

5. Passing on the Legacy

Through their stories and advice, grandparents pass on the legacy of our families from generation to generation. This means we will never forget where we came from.

6. To Teach Us Things

Our grandparents have many things to teach us and not just about life. They can also teach us to do things like how to cook, bake, sew, change a tire, etc. If your grandparent offers to teach you something, take them up on it. You may need to know how to do it in the future.

7. Prayer Warriors for Us

Grandparents are always happy to share their faith and pray for us in any situation. They will always go to God boldly on our behalf, and we can be assured of that.

8. Prayer Warriors with Us

Our grandparents are also glad to stand with us in prayer for our situation and for other people’s situations. They have spent many years praying and talking to the Lord about going to war in prayer for other people.

9. Teach Us about Faith

Our grandparents may be the first ones to teach us about faith. They do this by taking us to church when we are young, buying us our first Bibles, and taking us to Sunday school.

10. Model the Christian Life

They are great at modeling the Christian life for future generations. This includes studying the Bible at home, praying, attending services, loving our neighbors, practicing forgiveness, and helping others.

11. Tough Love

Our grandparents, being raised in a different era, are more inclined to employ tough love on our children. Instead of coddling children like is usual in today’s parenting age, they choose to discipline the child, which is also love and teaching right from wrong.

After all, Proverbs 13:24 says: “Those who spare the rod of discipline hate their children. Those who love their children care enough to discipline them.”

12. Lessons about Life

Our grandparents teach us fantastic lessons about life. Some of these lessons may include if you have nothing nice to say, say nothing at all, or good things don’t come easy.

They will be the first to tell us that life may not always go as planned and that we will learn a lot from it, but to still be glad we have breath in our lungs to live it.

13. To See the Best in Us

Grandparents always see the best in us, even when we don’t see it in ourselves. They are our champions and our cheerleaders, and that makes all the difference.

Hearing their encouragement and knowing that they see the good things in us makes all the negativity we may hear disappear.

14. Model Good Adult Relationships

The relationship between grandparents and their children should teach children what a good adult relationship looks like. The foundation should always be mutual respect, honesty, and love.

However, sometimes adults have disagreements, and this will teach children that even good relationships hit rough spots sometimes, but people get through it and move on.

15. Spoil Their Grandchildren

Let’s face it, one of the best things grandparents are good at is spoiling their grandchildren. It’s ingrained in them; they love being able to do things for their grandchildren that they couldn’t do for their kids.

This can include buying them things, taking them places, and having experiences with them to make memories.

16. Give Undivided Attention

We always get our grandparent’s undivided attention when we visit, which helps strengthen our bond with them. They love seeing us and hearing about what is going on in our lives and in our kids’ lives.

17. Second Chances

Because grandparents are so forgiving, they are often ready to give people in their lives second chances. They know that not forgiving someone is not healthy. In a society where people crucify others for their mistakes, we can learn a lot about forgiveness from our relatives.

18. Teach Manners

Manners have become a lost art in our society, but when our grandparents were young, there were certain ways you acted and ways you didn’t. The role of grandparents is to instill manners in their grandchildren and teach them how to act.

19. Having Fun

Spending time with our grandparents is always a fun experience. Whether it’s sharing stories, doing a puzzle, playing board games, or watching a favorite show or movie together, there’s never a dull moment. An amazing way to stay connected to our families is through grandparents.

20. Grandparents Are a Blessing

Those fortunate enough to still have their grandparents around should relish their presence. The older people in our lives are blessings to us and our families. They are a source of family history, comfort and support, love, wisdom, and faith.

They are the pillars of our families and where we came from. We love them, our children love them, and yes, even our pets love them. My boxer dog loved my grandfather on my dad’s side. We should love them and be a blessing to them just as much as they are to us.

21. Grandparents Help Us

Our grandparents help us in so many ways, like giving advice, being there to support us, going to war for us in prayer, and watching our children sometimes when we need them to. They love to help their family members and spend time with them every chance they get.

We serve an amazing God who created so many amazing people to share our lives with. Take some time today and think about how your grandparents have helped you and your children throughout the years.

Think about all the things they have imparted to your family and what a difference that they make. Then, take some time to call them, text them, email them, or go visit them to say thank you for all the ways they have enriched your life. You will make their day with your appreciation.

Photo credit: ©GettyImages/Edwin Tan

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Carrie Lowrance

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April 9, 2024
What to Do When Your Wife Says, “I’m Fine”

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Many people view the male/female dynamic as complex. Sometimes, when you have been together for years, you don’t know how to take each other. This is especially true when a wife says, “I’m fine.” There are many reasons we say, “We’re fine,” which is not comforting to the men in our lives at all. So, what should you do when your wife says, “I’m fine?” Assess the situation and try these.

There’s a good possibility that we could actually be fine. This is often the answer we give after a long day at work. This could also mean a long, drawn-out conversation about a problem is not what we’re up for right now. We’re not trying to be coy. We don’t want to explain ourselves any further.

Take us at our word and let it go. If we want to talk further, we will let you know.

2. We Have Something on Our Mind that We Are Afraid to Say

We may be uncomfortable about something in the relationship but don’t want to come out and say it. In our society, people frown upon being the first to voice grievances in a relationship.

Give us some time; we will eventually want to talk, and when we do, both parties need to be non-judgmental out of genuine concern for the issue from both parties.

3. Don’t Always Assume it Has Something to Do with You

Sometimes, we are upset about other things that have nothing to do with you. A rude coworker, a fight with a family member, losing a friendship. We can be upset about all kinds of things, and some things we can’t share because we want to protect someone’s privacy.

If you ask and we don’t want to talk about it, let it go. We may feel like talking about it later, as long as it doesn’t infringe on anyone’s privacy.

4. Remember We Are Complex

Women are very multi-faceted and complex. This doesn’t mean you have to figure out the meaning of everything we say. Society conditions us to keep what hurts us inside, but you have the power to break down those walls. You should be wondering why you feel you can’t trust our answer and why we are trying to hide our emotions.

5. Let Her Know How You Feel

Photo credit: GettyImages/bernardbodo

In a nonconfrontational way, let your partner know how you are feeling. Build up to an exciting conversation that she can take part in and explain why talking about what she is struggling with is beneficial. Easing her into a conversation will make her feel more comfortable and more willing to share about what is bothering her.

6. Be Empathetic

As you are discussing, keep control of your own emotions. What you think is something minor to be upset about may be huge for your wife. Keeping your feelings in check will help your partner feel comfortable sharing their feelings now and in the future.

7. Give Her Time to Reflect

While your partner is sharing the issue, listen actively; don’t just sit there. Ask questions when necessary to clarify what she’s saying or ensure you are on the same page. If the issue is a sensitive topic, she may need a warm hug or words of encouragement from you to help make her feel at ease.

Letting her know you support her and then leaving her to reflect on the issue or situation and how she feels can be the best thing you can do. Many of us need to think through things and reflect to help process what has happened or how we feel.

8. Respect Her Boundaries

Don’t push the issue if she’s not ready to talk. The last thing she wants is to be hounded or peppered with a thousand questions when trying to work through something. Instead, go do something on your own for a while and then come back a little later and ask if she would like to talk.

Photo credit: ©GettyImages/Prostock-Studio

9. Reflect

Think about the last time you were in this situation, and she said, “I’m fine.” What was going on in your life? Did you fight or say something that upset her? Did she have a bad day at work, or were the kids driving her crazy? Was she having issues with a friend, family member, coworker, or boss? How did you react?

Reflecting on these things may give you some insight into why she is upset now. If some of the same things that upset her before are still going on, this may be why she’s upset now.

10. Talk to Your Friends

This doesn’t mean you should air your dirty laundry, but it may help to talk to some guy friends. Especially those who have been married longer than you. When you are just married, you are still getting to know each other, and living together differs from dating. You see each other at your best and your worst, twenty-four-seven, three hundred sixty-five days a year.

Meet a friend for coffee, explain what’s going on, and ask for some advice. You are not the only man in the world who struggles when their girlfriend or wife says, “I’m fine.” Many men aren’t sure what to do in this situation.

Seeking a friend who has been married either a few or several years longer than you should be helpful. This friend has had more time and experience navigating their relationship and will give you some good tips on what to do. Although every relationship is different, you can at least get some different ideas on how to approach this situation.

11. Pray about It

Ask the Lord to help you discern the best way to help your wife and for him to help her with what’s bothering her. Ask him to give her clarity about how to resolve the issue or what not to do if it’s going to make the issue worse.

The relationship between a husband and wife is special and complex. Even after dating for several years, it takes time to know your spouse. Humans are complicated, and knowing what your spouse means is hard when they only give short answers. You may have to reflect on what’s going on in your life, leave her alone with her emotions, or trust what she says. Remember to keep communication open and honest and always try to communicate with love. Trust your instincts when your wife says, “I’m fine.” If your gut tells you she’s fine, then trust it. If it tells you something more is going on, give her some space. She will come back to talk to you in time, and then you can find out the meaning behind her “I’m fine.”

Photo credit: GettyImages/Makidotvn

Related Podcast Resource: 5 Ways to C.O.V.E.R. Your Marriage in Prayer

One of the most important things you can do for your marriage is to pray for your marriage. Learning communication skills, conflict resolution techniques and intimacy hacks are great. However, if you’re leaving your marriage uncovered by failing to pray for your spouse and your marriage, it will always be vulnerable to attacks. Prayer is an essential guiding tool to get you and your spouse on the same page and create unity in your marriage. In this episode of Real Relationship Talk, Dana Che shares her acronym C.O.V.E.R., which teaches you how to specifically pray for your marriage. To listen, just click the play button below:

The views and opinions expressed in this podcast are those of the speakers and do not necessarily reflect the views or positions of Salem Web Network and Salem Media Group.

WATCH: Signs You Married for the Wrong Reasons

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Carrie Lowrance

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February 4, 2024
Winter Date Ideas for Couples

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The excitement and magic of the holiday hustle and bustle is over and now we are in the dreary, gray days of winter. There is not much going on in January and February, which can be refreshing. This is a great time to up the date nights and keep the flame alive in your relationship. Maybe you didn’t stay as connected as you wanted to over the holidays. It’s okay. Sometimes life pulls us in directions that we can’t help. Now is a great time to up the date nights and spend more time together.

Get Outside

1. Ice Skating

Bundle up and lace up the skates at your local ice skating rink. Don’t know how? Take lessons together or teach each other to make it fun.

2. Go sledding

Find the biggest hill in your area and go sledding.

3. Play with your pet in the snow

Take your dog out and play with them in the snow. Everyone will get some exercise and they will bond with you even more during playtime.

4. Have a snowball fight

Go outside and have a snowball fight, then come in and warm up with a mug of cocoa or coffee. You could also make a crockpot of soup and get the fixings for sandwiches to eat as well.

5. Stargazing

Either take a walk outside or sit on the porch and gaze up at the stars. Enjoy the sparkling sky and the peace of a winter’s night.

Stay Indoors

6. Game night

Choose what kind of game you want to play (cards, board, video) and have a fun and competitive game night. Don’t forget the prizes!

7. Have a “no tech” night

Turn off the phones, don’t watch television or play video games, and focus on each other for an evening.

8. Have an indoor picnic

Set up an indoor picnic on the living room floor with wine (or sparkling cider if you don’t drink) and wine glasses. Add some soft music and flowers for a romantic mood.

9. Bake together

Nothing makes a house smell like home more than warm baked goods. This is one of my favorite things to do in the wintertime. Pick out some cookies, brownies, bars, or another dessert you would like to bake together. To make it more fun, decorate cookies or try your hand at decorating and writing on a two-tier layer cake.

10. Have a candlelit dinner at home

Make something delicious, dress up, or put on your pajamas, and have a cozy, romantic candlelit dinner at home. Add a yummy dessert and some soft music to dance to for a great romantic evening.

11. Write a bucket list together

Sit down and write a bucket list together of things you want to do and places you want to go. Then pick three things and make plans to make them happen. When you accomplish those, move on to the next three, and so on. This will help you have things to look forward to together and make sure you take the steps to accomplish what you want.

Be Active

12. Go bowling

Hit the local bowling alley and roll some strikes.

13. Go roller skating

If you can find a roller skating rink in your area, go take a lap. This is a nostalgic memory for many people, so talk with your partner about your favorite memories at the rink when you were a child or a teenager.

14. Go dancing

Go out dancing or take dancing lessons together. If neither of you can dance, decide on what dance you would like to learn and sign up to take lessons. If you know how then go out and tear up the floor! This is a great way to have fun, get some exercise, and burn some calories.

15. Take a class together

If you and your significant other have similar interests, take a class together. In case you don’t, each of you can select one of your interests and enroll in a class together. This will help you learn more about your significant other and their interests.

Relax

16. Visit the spa

Have a relaxing day at the spa. This can get costly, so look for coupons online or special deals on their website.

17. Hot cocoa on the porch

The next time you get snow, bundle up with cups of hot cocoa, sit on the porch, and enjoy watching the flakes fall.

18. Get away for the weekend

Find a cozy bed-and-breakfast or swanky hotel and go away for the weekend. This is the perfect time to reflect, recharge, and refocus on each other.

Check Out the Local Spots

19. Look on Facebook for fun community events

Hop on Facebook and look for local community events that are coming up. This could be a gold mine in finding events you would not know about otherwise.

20. Go to an Expo

Look around your local area and see if there are any expos going on. Expos can be about all kinds of things, from home improvement to exotic pets to guns and ammo.

21. Go to a concert

Winter is a great time to go to a concert. It’s something to do indoors that is a lot of fun. If you’re into Christian music, Winter Jam is a great option and very reasonable price-wise to attend.

22. Browse a bookstore

Do both of you love to read? Go to a bookstore, either a chain or independent, and get lost in paper and ink. Even better, grab a cup of coffee from the cafe if they have one.

23. Visit the cat cafe

Love animals? Check out a cat cafe. We have one in our town and I love going there. You pay a fee and get to hang out with 18-20 cats. The cost of admission covers the cost of taking care of the cats (food, litter, supplies) and running the cafe. All the cats are adoptable and come from local rescues. Have a serious discussion about pet ownership before you go because I guarantee you will fall in love with one of those sweet, furry faces.

24. Go out for dessert

Instead of going out for a meal, make something delicious at home and then go out for a luscious dessert. To make it more fun, choose a kind of dessert by season. Winter? Go out for a warm dessert like a warm chocolate chip cookie with ice cream or a piece of warm apple pie with ice cream. (Summer? Go out for a cold dessert like a milkshake with lots of toppings or to an ice cream shop with lots of unique flavors. Fall? Go out for a fall-flavored dessert like caramel apple cake, pumpkin pie, or gingerbread.)

25. Go to a local show

See what shows your local community theater is putting on. You don’t have to shell out massive bucks for superb entertainment.

26. Pretend to be tourists

Do you realize that most people who live in large cities for a long time never get around to going to tourist attractions? Make a list of tourist attractions in your area and go check them out. You may find your new favorite museum, shop, coffee shop, or restaurant.

27. Visit a local museum

Visit a local museum that you’ve never been to.

28. Go to an art gallery

Love art? Go to a local art gallery or see if your local community college has any art on display that you can go see. When I was in college, there were several artists who came to speak and set up their work for others to enjoy.

29. Revisit the place where the two of you met.

If it’s workable, go to the place where you first met and reminisce. Talk about the first time you saw each other, your first date, your engagement (if applicable), and your wedding day (if applicable). Talk about how your life is different now than it was when you met and all the special moments in between.

Winter can be cold and dreary, but these winter date night ideas should spark ideas for your next date night.

Photo Credit: ©GettyImages/simonkr

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Carrie Lowrance

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January 11, 2024
17 Ways to Have an Amazing First Year of Marriage

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Congratulations! You just got married. The past few months have been a whirlwind of planning, decisions, and the amazing big day. The first few months of marriage are great. You’re still in the honeymoon phase and gloriously in love. Soon, you will settle into your everyday lives and routines, which can be when things get tricky.

By tricky, I mean adjusting to each other and learning what it’s like to live with someone. You learn each other’s quirks, habits, and idiosyncrasies, and if you have been an only child your whole life, this can be tough. The first year of marriage can be difficult, but it doesn’t have to be a war zone. Here are some tips for your first year of marriage.

1. Enjoy the Honeymoon Phase

The first few months of your marriage, you are in the honeymoon phase. This is the phase where you are still high off the emotions from your wedding, and everything is great.

You greet each other at the door at night, stay up late talking, and think each other hung the moon. This is a very special time in a marriage, and chances are you may get teased (in love and friendship, of course) by friends and family because of how in love you are. Does this mean your marriage is going downhill once you’re out of this phase? Of course not. This is just a very special time that needs to be enjoyed and savored.

Photo credit: ©GettyImages/PeopleImages

2. Try Not to Argue

You will probably argue a bit in your first year of marriage. Does this mean you are incompatible? No, not at all. It’s all part of adjusting to another person and how they do things. It’s part of learning about each other and learning to compromise.

3. If You Argue, Apologize

If you argue, always apologize. It’s not healthy to hold grudges or get mad at each other. Instead, talk it out, apologize to each other, and move on.

4. Give Each Other Grace

Everyone makes mistakes or does something wrong now and then. Instead of being mad or frustrated, give each other grace. What does this mean? It means recognizing that we are all in progress and that life is a process. We also need to recognize that we need God’s help to grow and change. He gives us grace every day; therefore, we need to give grace to our spouses.

5. Help Each Other Out

Photo credit: ©GettyImages/South_agency

Living together is a change, so help each other out. If you work opposite shifts, one person can prep for dinner, and the other can cook it. Before 6 pm on Sunday evening, fill up both you and your wife’s cars with gas so that you are both ready for the next day. If one of you gets home earlier than the other, throw in a load or two of laundry mid-week so it’s not a chore over the weekend. Things like that.

6. Compliment Each Other

Compliments go a long way, and I’m not just talking about how someone looks. Think about it; everyone has their own way of doing things, and you have to adjust to how your spouse does things.

If your spouse folds a load of towels and puts them away in the linen closet, compliment them about how good it looks. Compliment your spouse about how good it looks, even if they put the towels in the wrong place. If your wife irons your shirts, even if they aren’t quite the same way you would do it, compliment her on her effort.

7. Don’t Talk to Your Friends or Family about Your Problems

Try not to talk to your friends and family about your problems. This can lead to issues with people butting their heads in where it doesn’t belong and can lead to family tension. Work them out with your spouse the best you can.

I think the only exception to this is if something serious is going on, like abuse. Then, you should reach out to friends and family to get help.

8. Never Talk about Your Sex Life to Other People

This should go without saying, but I have known people who have done this. Your intimate life with your spouse is between you and you alone. Sharing your intimate life with others is inappropriate because it is very personal. When you share it, you show deep disrespect for your spouse.

9. Spend Time Together

Photo credit: ©GettyImages/Studio4

Life is busy, so take some time out each day and spend time together. This could be coffee, bible study, and prayer in the morning. This could be watching a favorite show in the evening. It could be walking the dog together and discussing your day. Spending appointed time together will only strengthen your bond with each other.

10. Surprise Each Other

Surprising each other is fun and doesn’t have to be anything huge. If you stop at the gas station, pick up a bottle of your spouse’s favorite soda. Do some research and surprise them with an event they would like. This could be a local concert or a local art show. Buy them that new book or video game they have been wanting just because.

Surprising your spouse with something small after an especially long day is great.

11. Go Out with Friends

Photo credit: ©GettyImages/shapecharge

When you’re newly married, it’s easy to only want to spend time with each other. However, it’s important to keep your social bonds strengthened, too. Make plans to go out on a double date with another couple, or each of you spend some time with your own friends for an afternoon.

12. Speak Your Mind

When you are first married and in the honeymoon phase, you don’t want to say anything to upset your spouse. However, it’s important to speak your mind. You don’t have to be mean or rude, but if something bothers you, it’s best to say so. If you don’t, it will build and build until one day you explode, and your poor spouse does not know where it’s coming from.

This way, you and your spouse can discuss it and find a solution to the problem.

13. Learn to Compromise

Compromise is something that has to be learned in a new marriage. Keep in mind that you are still getting used to living together and what that entails. Marriage cannot be about what one specific person wants. It takes give and take and compromise.

For example, you want to clean the apartment on Saturday, but he wants to play a few basketball games with friends. The apartment needs cleaning, but he also deserves to have time with his friends after a long week at work. Instead of arguing about it, choose a specific time frame to clean the apartment together so that he can still go hang out with friends. You could clean the apartment from 8 to 11:00 am, and then he would still have time to clean up and meet the guys at noon.

14. Keep Communication Open

Photo credit: ©GettyImages/Anchiy

Always keep your communication open. Set aside time in your day to talk to each other besides over dinner. Text each other during the day. Leave each other notes and reminders. Add important dates and events to each other’s computer and phone calendars. This way, communication flows freely, and everyone is on the same page.

15. Pray for Each Other

Take personal time each day and pray for each other. This can be difficult because life can get so hectic. Pray for your spouse in the shower, while making the kids lunches (if you have kids), walking the dog, getting dressed, before you leave your driveway in the morning, etc. You could also spend a few minutes together before getting out of bed to pray for each other as well.

This is one of the most important things you can do for your spouse. One of my favorite movies is War Room. It is about a wife who learns to pray for her husband and family instead of fighting with them. It is a great example of what praying for your spouse should look like.

16. Spend Time in the Word

Spending time in the Word of God is important to any marriage, but it is especially important in the first year of marriage. Why? The Bible is our compass and gives us direction on how we should live and what we should do.

It gives specific instructions for married couples and celebrates the union of marriage. Both husbands and wives should spend time in their Bible and with the Lord daily. Because of our hectic lifestyles, getting together and reading the Bible during the week may be hard. Instead, spend some time together reading the Bible on the weekend.

17. Attend Church

Attending church is important during the first phase of marriage as well. Regularly attending church provides the opportunity to learn God’s Word and to be surrounded by other Christian married couples who can offer words of wisdom if needed.

The first year of marriage is a learning experience. There will be ups, downs, and in-between. You will experience many years of wedded bliss if you keep the Lord and each other as your focus and follow the Bible as your guide.

Photo credit: ©kkshepel

Related podcast:

The views and opinions expressed in this podcast are those of the speakers and do not necessarily reflect the views or positions of Salem Web Network and Salem Media Group.

As a parent, you are an architect of the next generation. With all that is wrong in the world, your job is vital to influence for Christ the moral fiber of the next generation, beginning with your children. Find mentors, be a mentor, and prepare yourself to homeschool without regrets.

Read the full article here!

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Carrie Lowrance

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September 6, 2023
24 Creative Date Night Ideas to Try with Your Spouse

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Our lives are busy with work, kids, and other responsibilities. It is easy to become disconnected from our significant other amid all kinds of distractions. Some couples work opposite schedules, while others are distracted by taking the kids to ballet, football, and karate. Singles can fall into this trap, too, with their boyfriend or girlfriend. In a world of constant motion, it is easy to let relationships and connections get put on the back burner.

I have heard therapists on television and married couples I know stress how vital dating is. Especially when you are married. Having weekly or at least monthly dates with your spouse is important. This keeps the spark in your relationship and your marriage strong. Still, you may be thinking, “It’s been so long since we’ve been on a date, I wouldn’t know what we should do.” You may even say, “We go on a date every week, but it’s hard coming up with something different to do.” For the singles out there, this is for you too. Look at these date ideas and get your creative juices flowing.

Fun Date Ideas

1. Be a Kid Again

Spend some time doing something you loved as a kid. This could be anything from playing with play dough, finger painting, or making homemade slime.

2. Relax with Nature

Photo credit: ©GettyImages/Solovyova

Go for a bike ride or on a hike and enjoy what God created for us. Breathe in the fresh air, bask in the sunlight, and enjoy the sound of birds chirping and animals enjoying their habitat.

3. Dance the Night Away

Either go out dancing or take dancing lessons together. This is a great way to get some exercise and be exposed to all kinds of music and types of dancing. You can learn anything from how to waltz to salsa dancing to the tango.

4. Go Swimming

Photo credit: ©GettyImages/Anchiy

Do some research and go swimming somewhere other than in a pool. There may be a natural beach nearby or a creek you can swim in.

5. Go to an Amusement Park

Get your adrenaline running while riding a roller coaster and enjoy some great food.

6. Open Mic Night

Find an open mic night in your area at a library, bookstore, or club and listen to people read their poetry and other works of literature.

Romantic Dates

7. Make Dinner Together

Photo credit: ©GettyImages/simonapilolla

Pick out a recipe that is too expensive to eat at a restaurant and make it at home. Put out your best dishes and dress up as if you were going out.

8. Laugh It Up

Go to a comedy club or see a recent comedy at the movie theater. Laughter is the best medicine, after all.

9. Spa Day

Photo credit: ©Getty Images/Halfpoint Images

Book a couple’s day for a massage, mani/pedi, or facial. It’s relaxing and important for both people to look and feel their best. Not comfortable going to a spa? Research services that will come to your home.

10. Get Out of Town

Spend the weekend away or travel to a new city a few hours out to explore. The change of scenery will do you good.

11. Ride in a Hot-Air Balloon

If you have the funds (and aren’t afraid of heights), go up in a hot-air balloon for a few hours. You can enjoy each other’s company while floating in the sky.

At-Home Date Night Ideas

Photo credit: ©Getty Images/monkeybusinessimages

12. Couple’s Playlist

Make a playlist for each other and discuss the meaning of each song and how the lyrics remind you of each other.

13. Dessert Competition

Each of you make a dessert and decide who made the best one. You can decide by categories like most chocolate, creamiest, and melt in your mouth.

14. Bookathon

Chances are you and your significant other read very different genres in books. Take turns reading to each other out loud from your favorite books. You could also read poetry or a children’s book together to escape.

15. Pajama Party

Get comfy and spend all night watching movies or bingeing your favorite television series. Get snacks you wouldn’t normally have, like gourmet ice cream, pretzels, or high-end wine.

16. Listen to a Podcast

If each of you loves podcasts, choose an episode from one of each of your favorites and talk about it afterward.

Specific Interest Dates

17. Go to an Animal Shelter or Cat Cafe

Do you both love animals? Volunteer at an animal shelter on a Saturday afternoon or just look. Cat cafes are also popular; you pay a fee and can go in and visit with 15-20 cats of all ages. Another idea is volunteering with an animal rescue group in your local area.

18. Browse a Bookstore

Photo credit: ©GettyImages/Studio4

Instead of going to the chain bookstores, research local, independent bookstores in your area. Used bookstores are great for finding hard-to-find or rare books. They have great sales too. For example, a used bookstore I used to go to would have sales where every book was a dollar on a Saturday. Talk about book-lover heaven!

19. Go to a Local Sports Game

Go to a local baseball, hockey, or football game.

20. Enjoy Some Music

Research and see if any local artists are having a concert in the area. You don’t have to go to a big-name show to enjoy some exceptional talent. Local artists often play in clubs, outside venues, and sometimes at wineries.

21. Go to a Candy Store or Ice Cream Parlor

If one or both of you have a sweet tooth, see if there is a local retro candy store or an old-fashioned ice cream parlor near you. In the town I used to live near, there was an old-fashioned candy store/ice cream parlor in the square downtown. Next door was a store that sold flavored popcorn and old-fashioned bottled sodas. Yum!

22. Escape Reality

Go to a VR (Virtual Reality) Lounge or an escape room and have some fun spending some time in another dimension, so to speak.

23. Take a Cooking or Baking Class Together

Photo credit: ©GettyImages/South_agency

If food is your thing, take a cooking or baking class together. Even better, see if you can find a place where you can make x amount of meals to take home and freeze. There was a place in the next town over where I used to live. Learning how to cook and having dinner for the next few nights? Sounds like a winner to me.

24. Go to an Expo or Show

You can find expos for all kinds of things. They set an expo up in a building with vendors around specific things like pets, boating, fishing, etc. Another option is to see if there is an animal show going on. We used to go to the cat show in Peoria, Illinois, every year. We recently had an exotic pet expo that featured reptiles, guinea pigs, ferrets, rabbits, etc.

There are endless possibilities for dating ideas. Sometimes you have to be a little creative and innovative. The next time you go on a date, keep these ideas in mind or plan something specific according to your own interests. Your significant other will love it no matter what.

Photo credit: ©GettyImages/Maria Korneeva

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Carrie Lowrance

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August 8, 2023