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Tag: Britney Spears discography

  • Britney Spears Not So Coincidentally Releases “Scary” to Streaming Platforms Ahead of Kevin Federline’s “Tell-All”

    While Britney Spears may not have released an album since 2016 (which means she’s going mano a mano with Rihanna in terms of retreating from music for almost a decade now), it doesn’t mean she’s lacking for material to keep unleashing onto the masses. Which is why, every now and again, her “team” will put out some proverbial “from the vault” tracks. As they did on October 16th with an official streaming platform release of “Scary,” which originally only appeared on the Japanese deluxe edition of Femme Fatale. And, despite the eyebrow-raising about Spears’ overall “withdrawal” from participating in the songwriting or music production process of that record, it does bear noting that she actually did write the lyrics to “Scary” (along with Fraser T Smith and Kasia Livingston).

    In truth, the lyrics have Spears’ stamp all over it. Not just in terms of the “parlance” at play, but because it could also be said that Spears, at one point in her life, might have applied the following verse to Kevin Federline: “Baby, I don’t know/How I’m gonna survive/This fatal attraction/It’s gonna eat me alive/I’m not supposed to want ya/But I do like I die/It’s turned me into a monster/Like I’m Jekyll and Hyde.”

    To be sure, it was a “fatal attraction” for Spears, whose more than somewhat impetuous decision to marry Federline after roughly five months of dating (the two had been together for three months prior to announcing their engagement in July of 2004, then got married in September of that year) has resulted in a lifetime of hell in exchange for just under three years of marriage. A marriage that, according to Spears, Federline spent most of abandoning her in favor of late nights out on the town while she stayed home tending to their newborns, with Sean and Jayden born just one year apart (the former in September 2005 and the latter in September 2006).

    So, in truth, the only “monster”/“Jekyll and Hyde” behavior was coming from Federline, who seemed to turn on Spears just when she needed a trustworthy and reliable companion the most. Instead, Federline has proven that he will bite the hand that feeds him over and over again, having opted to release a “tell-all” memoir called, cringily enough, You Thought You Knew. The implication being that the public thought they knew the full extent of Spears’ “shenanigans,” both back when they were married and in subsequent years when it came to her being around their children.

    Naturally, the release of such a book has probably been a long time coming, yet only took this long because Federline is finally off Spears’ payroll (indeed, the timing of its release is no coincidence at all on that front). Besides, this is the same person who released videos that were taken unbeknownst to Spears by her own sons when they were each eleven and twelve. Videos meant to imply she’s a “crazy” and “unhinged” mother. And no, they don’t make her look very “flattering,” but it’s certainly not out of the realm of “parenting behavior” to scold one’s children for things like going into a store without shoes on (yes, ironic when considering that Spears herself had a “no shoes on at the gas station” phase). Even so, the media took the bait, reporting on the videos just after Spears had gotten out of her conservatorship (at the end of 2021; Federline posted the videos in August of 2022). And also just after she had married Sam Asghari.

    The callous action prompted Nicki Minaj to state on her Queen Radio podcast, “Do you understand what kind of a clown you have to be to be a whole grown fucking man, and as soon as you see somebody happy and getting married and moving on and being free and feeling good in their own skin, to do the very thing that you know is going to attempt to ‘break them down,’ going to the media… You know, only cowards use the media against a famous person who they once loved, they procreated with, um, they’re being taken care of by. Using the person’s fame as this constant ‘gotcha’ moment… How dare you?” Minaj then added of Jayden and Sean’s involvement, “They’re kids, they don’t know how detrimental this is. But you know, cocksucker. Leave her the fuck alone” (a sentiment she has since repeated in the wake of Federline releasing his book of lies).

    Alas, Federline cannot seem to do that. Not only releasing his “tell-all,” which includes accounts of Spears taking cocaine while breastfeeding (as if) and having an affair with a woman (okay, sure), but also going on any and every outlet that will take him to do interviews about it. Yes, it’s all very “scary” indeed. With Spears having no recourse but to actually comment on the whole thing, posting a statement on her Instagram that read, “What’s scary [that’s right, scary] is he’s convincing. It literally blows my mind the moments he stops before he cries. Are you fucking serious?” Unfortunately, yes, Federline seems to think he is. And while Spears might have been overexaggerating when she added, “I know his book will sell loads more than mine” (for there’s no way Federline would be capable of selling over two million copies of his schlock), it’s natural for her to fear that. Because both Federline and her own family have conditioned her to feel such fear for decades. And maybe, at the time when “Scary” was written, this fear was part of what she was tapping into—in addition to tapping into being scared by her own amorous feelings for another (once upon a time, K-Fed).

    As she repeats “so scary” around the one-minute, twenty-three-second mark, use of the theremin instrument is designed to play up the “spook” factor (and yes, theremins are also used in the background of movies or TV shows to denote the cliché sound associated with aliens [side note: Spears also has a song called “Alien”—wherein a version of the theremin sound is employed at the beginning]). It’s the same sound also used in Megan Thee Stallion’s own song called “Scary” (released on her 2022 album, Traumazine). And, to be sure, there ought to be a mashup of these two tracks.

    In another moment of eeriness, Spears sings, “You’re taking over my mind.” Although intended to speak from the perspective of someone who can’t stop thinking about the object of their affection, it instead reminds the listener of the effective “mind control” those behind Spears’ conservatorship had over her. Constantly manipulating her with the threat of limiting access to her children. So no wonder she also adds the following verses to “Scary”: “I wanna take over your body like like like it’s freaky Friday” (amazingly, Lindsay Lohan didn’t glom onto that phrase by posting it somewhere, desperate as she is to call out her “enduring relevance” in pop culture) and “I wanna take you to a dark place/Make you, make you, make you do it my way.” Again, these lyrics might be meant as “sexual” within the context of the song, but when taken out of it, they seem to be echoing Spears’ not-so-subconscious urge to engage in some payback at that time. Wanting to take possession of others the way they had taken possession of her, all in a bid to break free.

    So, sure, some can try to say that the release of “Scary” to streaming is timed for Halloween/“spooky season.” But the only thing that’s really spooky for Britney this season is the constant reanimation of what should have remained a spectral part of her past: Kevin Federline.

    Genna Rivieccio

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  • Like Everything That “Pays Homage” to 00s Pop Culture, Halsey’s “Lucky” Is A Pale, Unsatisfying Imitation

    Like Everything That “Pays Homage” to 00s Pop Culture, Halsey’s “Lucky” Is A Pale, Unsatisfying Imitation

    The rollout of Halsey’s “new era” has been almost as rocky as Katy Perry’s. While the latter tried to pass off the Dr. Luke-produced “Woman’s World” as a feminist anthem, Halsey, instead, opted to pass off the second single from her as-of-yet-untitled fifth album, “Lucky,” as an “homage” to Britney Spears, better known as the Queen of the 2000s. And while Halsey was certain to announce of recreating the song/video for Spears’ 2000 hit, “I wouldn’t even dream of doing it without her blessing!,” Spears’ response felt more that slightly “off” if that was truly the case.

    Even so, Spears later updated her stance on the song after deleting the original post, commenting, “Fake news !!! That was not me on my phone !!! I love Halsey and that’s why I deleted it 🌹 !!!” This reply, in all honesty, sounded much more in line with her usual manner of speaking, complete with an emoji usage and lots of exclamation points. In contrast, the original statement came across as too composed and clinical to be the true mark of Spears, with whoever “stole” her phone writing, “For obvious reasons I’m very upset about the Halsey video. I feel harassed, violated and bullied. I didn’t know an artist like her and someone I looked up to and admired would illustrate me in such an ignorant way by tailoring me as a superficial pop star with no heart or concern at all. I have my own health problems which is why I took down my IG account yesterday. I will definitely be putting it back up to show I CARE. I’m speaking with my lawyers today to see what can be done on this matter. It feels illegal and downright cruel.” Rather than sounding like “authentic” Spears, it has the mark of an AI-generated response based on some of her previous soundbites (like when she said during the Piece of Me residency in undercutting reference to her conservatorship, “It feels kind of illegal doing this with this mic in my hand right now, it feels so weird”). But whether Spears was in some way behind the originally expressed sentiment or not, the knee-jerk reaction of contempt is not without its merit. For, so often, attempts at homage not only tend to fall flat, but come across as rather insulting (like Kelly Osbourne covering Madonna’s “Papa Don’t Preach” back in 2002 or Tina Fey sanctioning the musical-movie version of Mean Girls in 2024).

    From the moment the video opens on a child version of Halsey outside a home of, let’s say, modest appearance, and the 00s-inspired pink font spelling out “Lucky” with a star around the “L” tops it off, it’s obvious that this is going to be uncomfortable to watch. Worse still, as though to play up the “inferior artist imitating a greater one” angle, Halsey tapped Gia Coppola to direct the video. “Child Halsey” then runs to get into a car as the opening line, “I am so lucky” plays. Of course, it’s tinged with a sardonic bent, for there’s nothing that lucky about being relentlessly scrutinized. Something that Britney actually knows much more about than most pop stars, Halsey included. After all, it was because of her being subjected to so many egregious privacy violations in the 00s that a law was passed in California in 2009 that made it “a crime to take and sell unauthorized photos of celebrities in ‘personal or familial activity.’” Few other celebrities can lay claim to paving such a path for basic human rights for celebrities. Obviously, all it cost Britney was her mental health. Indeed, Spears was diagnosed as being bipolar (just as Halsey was) in 2008 and has stated of the condition, “I have always been kind of shy, since I was a little girl. It’s who I am to be modest, so I really can’t help it. I turn into this different person…seriously, bipolar disorder.” The “different person” she turns into for the stage was always difficult to reconcile with the shy girl from the South. And maybe it was the less shy version of herself that lashed out in response to Halsey’s rendering of “Lucky.” A version that tries to take the specific pain of Spears and make it her own.

    And as this version of Halsey’s childhood unfolds, we see a cold, distant father walk into the house while his daughter watches TV—the two scarcely acknowledge one another as the lyric, “Did it all to be included, my self-loathing so deep-rooted” plays in the background. After being ignored (the ultimate parental sin, as confirmed by Allison Reynolds [Ally Sheedy] in The Breakfast Club), she retreats into her poster-filled room. The posters, of course, are of Halsey, styled in Spears-circa-the-00s looks. The girl then puts a load of what is now referred to as “Euphoria makeup” on (even though Euphoria takes its makeup aesthetic from the 2000s), mimicking dance moves that are decidedly pulled from a Spears video (either that, or Madonna’s “Vogue”). The camera then focuses in on one of the Halsey posters so that the Halsey “inside” of it (wearing a sheer, crystal-embellished bodysuit designed to remind viewers of the “Toxic” video) can come to life and parrot the original “Lucky” chorus, switching it up to use the first person point of view instead: “But I’m so lucky, I’m a star/And I cry, cry, cry in my lonely heart, thinkin, ‘If there’s nothin’ missin’ in my life/Then why do these tears come at night?’” Well, maybe they come now because of the ostensible rejection Spears displayed toward this song.

    A crushing blow, considering that Halsey recently stated during a promotional interview for Maxxxine that the defining star for her growing up was “Britney Spears, all day. I didn’t think anyone could be, like, more of a star. I actually don’t know that I even knew at that—I was like six—because I was also born in 1994… But I was, like, I didn’t know that I knew she was a person outside of the CD. I thought she lived in there. And every time I played it, she had to sing.” A “childlike” belief (replicated in making Halsey come to life inside the abovementioned poster) that’s eerily telling of how much Spears was viewed as nothing more than a trained monkey “created” solely to amuse the masses. To dance and sing like a puppet. It was no wonder she started to let loose as the mid-00s progressed, shedding the “good girl” image she was saddled with from the outset of her career. This period is alluded to in Halsey’s video as well, during a moment when she can be seen drunkenly laughing in a nightclub setting before appearing on a red carpet (looking more like 00s-era P!nk than Spears) for “TGI” (the fake music news network modeled after the MTV logo).

    In the next few scenes, the homage front starts to get even messier as Halsey tries to jam-pack a hodgepodge of Britney-in-the-00s-related images into the narrative. This includes getting out of a car and being swarmed by paparazzi, wearing a basketball jersey in the recording studio, being miserable in her fancy house—and this is where the nod to “Everytime” comes in. Because, for whatever reason, Simon Rex is there to play her abusive boyfriend. An actor choice on par with Stephen Dorff playing Britney’s abusive boyfriend in the “Everytime” video (which owes its indelible look to direction by David LaChapelle). And, to play up the notion that Halsey, like Britney, got her poor taste in men as a result of the first man she had as an example—her father—Coppola intercuts the scene of Halsey and Rex arguing (as bombastically as Spears and Dorff) with Halsey and her father arguing when she was a child. A moment befitting the lyric, “Inner child that’s unrecruited, truth is/I’m not suited for it.” Indeed, perhaps only pursued “it” a.k.a. fame “just to be liked by strangers that she met online.”

    This idea of not being built for such a machine has also been emphasized by Spears, who stated, “I’m not really made for this industry.” And yes, anyone who is especially sensitive should avoid what Lady Gaga calls “The Fame” at all costs. Not that Spears had too much of a choice once her parents pushed her down the path for their own selfish, money-grubbing motives. A path that led to endless scrutiny, particularly of Spears’ body. To that point, another lyrical moment on Halsey’s “Lucky” reeks of Britney singing, “I’m Mrs. She’s Too Big Now She’s Too Thin” during “Piece of Me,” with Halsey phrasing it as, “And why she losin’ so much weight?/I heard it’s from the drugs she ate.”

    There’s another somewhat awkward allusion to Britney when Halsey also mentions, “I shaved my head four times because I wanted to/And then I did it one more time ’cause I got sick,” with everyone knowing that Britney’s 2007 head shaving is what led her down an abyssal spiral from which she couldn’t return. Especially with regard to that moment being leveraged as a prime example of her “madness,” therefore the need for her to be placed under a conservatorship. As for referencing the original “Lucky” video itself, the only instance of that is in the idea that there are two Halseys—the younger one and the famous one, with the latter watching over the former. The two only meet at the end of the video, when Famous Halsey (dressed, incidentally, like Kate Hudson in Almost Famous, another piece of pop culture from 2000) sits next to Young Halsey on a swing set. Alas, in the very final scene, Coppola returns to the swing set with Famous Halsey sitting all alone, the child version of herself having disappeared. An obvious metaphor for how all innocence is stamped out of you once you’ve been emotionally bulldozed for long enough.

    And it seems that’s the case for Halsey, who recently wrote of her “return” to music, “It’s hard to want to engage in a space that is completely devoid of any kindness, sympathy, patience; or to be honest human decency [oxymoron]. Especially after years of hiding from the interactions for fear that this EXACT thing would happen. I don’t know man. I almost lost my life. I am not gonna do anything that doesn’t make me happy anymore. I can’t spiritually afford it.” Of course, like Doja Cat threatening to quit music back in 2022, it’s unlikely that Halsey will really stop making music. Unlike Spears, who genuinely seems committed to preserving what’s left of her sanity by avoiding the music business like the plague.

    As for Halsey’s attempt at doing “Lucky” justice, let’s just say that, on “Without Me” (a video during which Halsey also has an abusive relationship displayed by intense arguing [with a G-Eazy lookalike, of course]), the singer incorporates a lyric from Justin Timberlake’s “Cry Me A River.” Specifically, “You don’t have to say just what you did/I already know/I had to go and find out from them.” That Halsey chooses to recreate the most affronting moment from the single vis-à-vis Timberlake’s false narrative about how Spears cheated on him makes her, frankly, unworthy of covering any Brit song. No matter how much she’s touted herself as a fan.

    And so, while Halsey wanted to make a “moving” track/“pay homage” to Britney and the 2000s, it’s hard to feel much for it when all it does is take the musical backing of Des’ree’s “You Gotta Be” (though some insist Monica’s “Angel of Mine”) and pairs it with the chorus of “Lucky.” Leaving little of Halsey to be found.

    Genna Rivieccio

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  • The “Toxic” Video for a New, Less Glamorous Era: Charli XCX’s “Von Dutch”

    The “Toxic” Video for a New, Less Glamorous Era: Charli XCX’s “Von Dutch”

    Although Charli XCX’s first album, True Romance, wasn’t released until 2013, she has always exuded the sonic and visual aura of being a daughter of the 00s. And there was no more significant “mother” in that decade than Britney Spears, who kicked off the aughts with her iconic “Oops!…I Did It Again” video and album. By 2004, however, Spears seemed determined to one-up herself with the video for “Toxic,” arguably among her most well-known visuals after “…Baby One More Time,”  “Oops!…I Did It Again”  and “I’m A Slave 4 U.” In it, Spears channels Pan Am-era chic in a flight attendant uniform that one would have never seen in the “friendly” skies of the 00s, let alone now. 

    But even more than her 60s-inspired flight attendant ensemble, it was her literal nude look that stood out in the eyes of viewers. As Spears confirmed in an interview (something she seems to have thrown a peace sign up on altogether since the conservatorship ended) from 2016 with Jonathan Ross, it was simply crystals/mini diamonds (or “hand diamonds,” as she called them) glued onto her body and paired with a white G-string. And voilà, immortal look achieved. 

    With the video released at the beginning of 2004, it would eventually serve as a reminder of 00s “polish” and decadence in the years before the 2008 financial crisis. In the months just leading up to it, Spears would release the less polished (visual-wise) video for “Gimme More,” the lead single from 2007’s Blackout. After that, she would unleash the moody, clapback-at-the-critics song, “Piece of Me”—which would become such a signature that she named her Vegas residency in its honor. It is the theme of that particular song which Charli XCX seeks to repurpose on “Von Dutch” (a title in keeping with her 00s reverence). Accordingly, the Torso-directed video commences with XCX being stalked by paparazzi at the airport (Charles de Gaulle, to be exact—because Charli is just so Euro).

    As she walks past the proverbial vultures with her aloofness and sunglasses as a shield, she then whips her shades off, along with her skirt (so she can sport just her underwear and tights underneath), and gets right into the first verse: “It’s okay to just admit that you’re jealous of me/Yeah I heard you talk about me, that’s the word on the street/You’re obsessin’ [that accusation lending the song un certain Mariah flair], just confess it/Put your hands up/It’s obvious I’m your number one.” (This also channeling, incidentally, a lyric Goldfrapp sings on 2005’s, what else, “Number 1”.) 

    From the start, it’s apparent that XCX is much less apologetic than Spears was on “Piece of Me” as she sang with more than a slightly sardonic tinge, “I’m Miss Bad Media Karma/Another day, another drama/Guess I can’t see no harm in workin’ and bein’ a mama.” Charli, rather than inserting semi-apologetic caveats in her lyrics, declares full-stop, “​​I’m just living that life Von Dutch, cult classic, but I still pop/I get money, you get mad because the bank’s shut/Yeah, I know your little secret, put your hands up/It’s so obvious I’m your number one.” In the spirit of another 00s piece of pop culture that has inspired of late, Mean Girls, there are many aspects of “Von Dutch” that mirror the content of Renée Rapp and Megan Thee Stallion’s “Not My Fault.” Wherein the former boasts, “It’s not my fault/You gotta pay what I get for free/It’s not my fault/You’re like, you’re like, you’re like in love with me.” According to Charli, nor is it her fault either. She’s “just livin’ that life, Von dutch, cult classic, but I still pop.” 

    Even when forced to mingle among the hoi polloi at the airport. Because, again, these are not the glamorous days of Britney’s “Toxic” video, during which she plays an international spy who also happens to be on a mission to poison her ex-boyfriend. For Charli, it’s less about the destination and more about the journey as she treats the entire airport and, subsequently, the airplane like her runway. Or, more to the point, as any “TikToker” would if CDG had agreed to shut down the terminal for them so they could dance and mug for the camera to their heart’s content without judgment (not that such a worry has ever stopped an “influencer” from annoying people in the public space before). Not to mention providing an empty plane to “bop around” on before making one’s way out onto the wing to do a jig there as well. And, as though to highlight the differences between 2004 Britney on an airplane and 2024 Charli on one, the latter takes the drink cart she’s pushing and violently shoves it down on the floor without a second thought. A stark contrast to Spears sexily pushing her own champagne-filled cart down the aisle on her airplane to “serve with a smile” that hides her ulterior motives.

    But back to the TikTok video flavor, funnily enough, XCX seems to shade that ilk with the line, “Do that littlе dance, without it, you’d be namelеss.” Something in the tone of the lyrics also giving Amy Winehouse on “Fuck Me Pumps” when she jibes, “Don’t be mad at me, ‘cause you’re pushing thirty/And your old tricks no longer work” (how ahead of her time she was on Gen Z-level ageism…along with Lily Allen on “22”). This all further speaking to how XCX is ready to drench herself in the 00s…much as the rest of the pop culture-obsessed set has done of late. But XCX is additionally bringing more than a dash of her “Tumblr sleaze” into the equation, hence breaking the fourth wall by slamming her head against the camera to mimic the effect of beating the shit out of someone—whoever her collective nemesis is, in this case. 

    She then grabs onto an automatic floor-cleaning machine and holds on for a bit before jumping the turnstile at a boarding gate like it’s merely a subway stop. On the empty plane (an Airbus A380), XCX continues her visceral, “anti-‘Toxic’” performance, pursued by the invisible antagonist she keeps fighting back with bratty (her next album is titled Brat, after all) panache. Or perhaps “anti” isn’t the word so much as “antithesis of.” Because there is nothing rehearsed-feeling or, as mentioned, polished about this the way there was in “Toxic.” This, to reemphasize, echoing the fact that all sense of glamor and being able to put up a veneer of elegance and sophistication has dissipated in our post-Empire world. Indeed, XCX is effectively putting a spotlight on the motif of how fucking shitty it is to travel now compared to 2004 (easier and less dehumanizing that year than now, despite the world coming fresh off 9/11). 

    Elsewhere in the lyrics of the song, XCX takes a page from Olivia Rodrigo branding her ex as a “fame fucker” on “vampire” (since fame, after all, is supposedly accessible to everyone now). Thus, Charli jabs at her haters, “Why you lying? You won’t fuck unless he’s famous.” It’s a long way from Britney touting, “I’m Mrs. Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous (you want a piece of me)/I’m Mrs. Oh My God That Britney’s Shameless (you want a piece of me).” Where Spears was forced to give up those pieces of herself to the public mostly against her will, Charli is of an era wherein everyone is willing and ready to whore it all out for the sake of fame (and hopefully, the added and often correlative bonus of money). Doing it for the hallowed “benefit” of being able to say you’re “famous”—or rather, “viral.” That word so evocative of a disease…which is precisely what fame has become. A bug that everyone wants to catch like corona at a party in 2020 Tuscaloosa. Because if you’re not trying to get famous while the world burns around you, you might not have a chance to enjoy the perks before it’s burned entirely. Thanks, in part, to jumbo jets like the one so prominently featured in XCX’s video (and yes, Charli is no stranger to promoting fossil fuels in her songs [including “Vroom Vroom” and “Speed Drive”] and visuals [e.g., “2999”]).

    It’s hard to put much “Toxic”-level varnish on this bleak human condition of the next generation. Maybe that’s why, by the end, XCX is as triumphant as she is run ragged, coasting along the conveyor belt of the baggage claim with the rest of the damaged, overly jostled goods.

    Genna Rivieccio

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  • Justin Timberlake Didn’t Think Through His Latest Single’s Title, Or: Britney Spears’ Fanbase Shows Which Singer’s “Selfish” Is Boss

    Justin Timberlake Didn’t Think Through His Latest Single’s Title, Or: Britney Spears’ Fanbase Shows Which Singer’s “Selfish” Is Boss

    At one of the many uncomfortable points in Justin Timberlake’s first solo single (without the crutch of adding any features or being the feature) in almost six years, he sings, “You’re the owner of my heart/And all my scars/Baby, you’ve got such a hold on me.” In many respects, that line easily applies to Britney Spears. Like Taylor Swift and Kanye West (or Ye, if you must), the two seem condemned to be forever linked in the pop culture sphere. Of late, that’s been mostly Spears’ doing, as she’s finally seen fit to tell her side of the story that’s primarily “belonged” to Justin since their breakup in 2002. This came in the form of her bestselling memoir, The Woman in Me, in which she not only tongue-in-cheekly mocks Timberlake for his late 90s/early 00s predilection for attempting a blaccent, but also exposes him for cajoling her into getting an abortion. Worse still, an at-home abortion so that no media outlet could ever find out that she was pregnant with his child. For that would have really fucked with his “wholesome” boy band image (though, if he had been in the Backstreet Boys, it might have only helped his image). So would being outed for his tendency to cheat on Spears throughout their relationship, a reality she also chose to keep to herself (even when certain gossip rags didn’t) until The Woman in Me. 

    Unfortunately for Timberlake, he seemed to be orchestrating a “comeback” right as Spears reminded everyone, in the most official capacity yet, of what a douche he is. This has been proven not only in his dealings with Spears (who he kept bringing up and besmirching repeatedly years after the breakup, including on a horrific SNL sketch from 2009 called “Immigrant Tale”), but with, just as infamously, Janet Jackson, who took all the flak for the 2004 “Nipplegate” snafu at the Super Bowl Halftime Show. Funnily enough, many have speculated that Timberlake “planned” the incident as a means to upstage Spears after her lesbianic kiss with Madonna at the 2003 VMAs just months earlier. If that was, in some form or another, truly the case, then both parties definitely got more than they bargained for. It also appeared as though Timberlake wanted to emulate and one-up Spears when she did a duet with Michael Jackson (specifically, “The Way You Make Me Feel”) for a 2001 special called Michael Jackson: 30th Anniversary Celebration. Timberlake and Janet Jackson cavorted around the stage following each other in a similar fashion, and it might have stayed as respectable and well-received as what Spears and Michael Jackson did were it not for that “unexpected” finale.

    The irony of Timberlake singing, “No disrespect, I don’t mean no harm” and “Gonna have you naked by the end of this song” right before Jackson’s nipple was exposed was almost too on the nose (or nipple) as well. Timberlake’s statement in the aftermath also didn’t align entirely with the one Janet made, which was: “The decision to have a costume reveal at the end of my halftime show performance was made after final rehearsals. MTV was completely unaware of it. It was not my intention that it go as far as it did. I apologize to anyone offended—including the audience, MTV, CBS and the NFL.” Timberlake, instead, used the term “wardrobe malfunction” rather than admitting that a planned costume reveal had gone awry. It was just one of his many selfish behaviors in the 00s. Which women like Spears and Jackson bore the brunt of because that decade was a period that favored dragging female celebrities through the mud for even the slightest hint of sex positivity. That made Jackson an even easier target because this was exactly the type of sexuality that society used against a woman to make her feel shame. In any other place (save for the Middle East), the exposure of a breast on TV would be nothing to write home about. In the puritanical U.S. and, worse still, on the NFL’s watch, it was. And Timberlake used that to his advantage in order to sidestep any real culpability. Even though it was he who seemed to rip the garment off a little too overzealously. 

    However, as usual, Timberlake displayed a pattern for setting women’s reputations on fire and then walking away looking like the better person somehow. Spears’ fans are no longer content to let that pattern stand and they showed as much the day that Timberlake’s poorly-named single, “Selfish,” was released on January 25th. And no, it’s not just poorly-named because it speaks to the heart of Timberlake’s actions up until the point where he was held publicly accountable for them in 2021 (after both Framing Britney Spears and Malfunction: The Dressing Down of Janet Jackson were released, delivering a one-two punch in terms of showing how complicit Timberlake was in each woman’s tarring and feathering in the media), “forced” by the deluge of internet trolling to issue a public apology (and a flaccid one at that). It’s also poorly-named because Timberlake (and his team of handlers) didn’t seem to take note that Spears, too, has a song titled that. And, although it’s but a bonus track from 2011’s Femme Fatale, that hasn’t stopped fans from getting it to trend and place at number one on the iTunes charts above Timberlake’s own “Selfish.” Ah, how embarrassing. To know that the sins you committed against someone who never spoke the truth about you until now are going to haunt you in some very unexpected ways going forward. Including this latest little “prank,” if you will, from the Britney Army (the fanbase with the most hilarious and karmic sense of humor, it would seem). A legion that has presently put a spotlight on just how different a song called “Selfish” can be when coming from two contrasting personality types (and not just because Brit is a Sagittarius to Justin’s Aquarius).  

    Indeed, with this previously slept-on bonus track back in the spotlight, it proves itself to be worth the revisit (as do most of the other Femme Fatale bonus tracks, namely “He About To Lose Me” and “Scary”). Comparing the themes of each song, it’s clear that Spears is coming from a genuine (and genuinely unapologetic) place, admitting it’s time for her to have a selfish night of fun (a.k.a. be selfish in the boudoir), whereas Timberlake tries to cloak his selfishness in something like “love” and “altruism” with a chorus that goes, “If I get jealous/I can’t help it/I want every bit of you/I guess I’m selfish.” It’s in the vein of John Lennon saying, “I didn’t mean to hurt you/I’m sorry that I made you cry/Oh no, I didn’t want to hurt you/I’m just a jealous guy.” Not really useful after you’ve been emotionally and/or physically abused, but whatever. 

    Maybe that’s why Timberlake does his best to offset some of the chorus with a “softness” that makes him sound like he’s been listening to too much Taylor Swift. Because, as any Swiftie knows, Taylor is obsessed with “mark” imagery. So when JT declares, “Owner of my heart/Tattooed your mark” it sounds awfully familiar. And almost like he’s trying too hard to tap into his “feminine side” after so many decades spent relishing his misogyny. 

    Maybe Spears ought to have “S&M’d” him when she had the chance, perhaps only fully coming into her sexually dominant own after Timberlake had already done her wrong. And, speaking of “S&M,” that song majorly channels the overall vibe of Femme Fatale, released in March of 2011—just one month before Rihanna would drop the “S&M” remix with Britney on it (in fact, the song was originally written for Britney). Similar to the domineering vibes of “S&M,” Spears flexes on “Selfish,” “​​Okay, you think you got me where you want me/I’ma show you tonight (la, la, la)/That I’m a girl and you’re a boy/And tonight, you gon’ be my, be my man.” It sounds like just the sort of thing Timberlake, little boy that he was, needed to hear back when the two were together. Along with, “Tonight, I’m feelin’ sexual/Come on and play inside my love below/Strip down and give me my own private show [Britney loves talking about private shows]/I’m gonna be a little selfish, be a little selfish.” Instead, it’s fairly probable that Timberlake got to be the most sexually selfish between the two of them throughout their relationship. If for no other reason than the fact that he cheated multiple times. That’s pretty damn selfish (sexually and in general). 

    While Jessica Biel might like to believe this song was inspired by her, it’s apparent that Britney will remain his underlying (no sex position pun intended) forever muse (and, now, nemesis). Because if anyone’s the “Exaholic” (the name of an unreleased track from Spears’ Glory album), it’s Justin. Alas, his obsession with Britney post-breakup (this time unwittingly revealed by naming his song the same title as something she already did) has proven to backfire spectacularly (thanks to the fighting spirit of the Britney Army). Almost as spectacularly as naming his dog Brennan not long after Britney said that was her preferred baby name. With the revelation that Timberlake strong-armed her into aborting the child that might have been named that, well, shit, it’s just another bad look—no, another selfish look—to add to the pile.

    Genna Rivieccio

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  • “Mind Your Business” Has the “Piece of Me” Tone That Keeps Britney Spears Firmly Associated With the 00s

    “Mind Your Business” Has the “Piece of Me” Tone That Keeps Britney Spears Firmly Associated With the 00s

    For those who were worried that the 2000s might never come back authentically (instead having to settle for ersatz imitations like the makeup aesthetic on Euphoria), Britney Spears, the decade’s foremost representative, has decided to return with non-remake music (no shade at “Hold Me Closer”). Though, depending on who you ask, it’s some “fake version” of her still being controlled by members of her family and/or her new husband, Sam Asghari (or maybe even her gay bestie du moment, Cade Hudson). In short, that she hasn’t “returned” at all. Worse still, that the vocals on “Mind Your Business” are recycled from what Myah Marie, a singer who recorded many of the demos on 2013’s Britney Jean (which will.i.am executive produced), already did.

    And yes, 2013 was the last time Spears and will.i.am collaborated via “It Should Be Easy,” another EDM-centric ditty for Britney Jean that was released as the final single. However, “Big Fat Bass,” from 2011’s Femme Fatale, was not. Perhaps because both Brit and Will knew they would have something better to offer in their 2012 collaboration, “Scream & Shout” (from which “Mind Your Business” takes many sonic cues). A song wherein Britney repurposes (most of) her immortal 2007 line, “It’s Britney, bitch.” This hailing from “Gimme More,” the lead single on her fifth album, Blackout. The one her then-paparazzo boyfriend, Adnan Ghalib, says she wrote portions of on a Starbucks napkin (“iconic,” as Paris Hilton would remark). And it was “Piece of Me” that came after “Gimme More,” both songs exuding a tongue-in-cheek irreverence that showcased just how little Spears could bother to give a shit about her public image anymore. One that had been tarnished and tainted into oblivion by that point already anyway. After all, the head-shaving incident had occurred in February ‘07, along with her lip-syncing flop of a VMA performance in September, making “Piece of Me” an ideal track to unleash later that year in November. 

    It is the spirit and sound of “Mind Your Business” that echoes, once more, Spears’ “fuck you” defiance on “Piece of Me.” And yet, at the same time, it has to be said that the frozen in time quality of Spears’ sound on “Mind Your Business” makes one wonder if she is truly still “relevant” or simply catering to what longtime fans continue to want from her. We won’t use the term “cashing in,” for that’s a bit too crass in this case. Britney, after all, has been given the tacit sanction to cash in all she wants after being exploited for so many years. But, in all those years of being “handled,” forced to do things without being allowed to put in much creative input of her own, did she become trapped in the age she was effectively enslaved at (twenty-six) and in (2008)? Is that, in the end, what “Mind Your Business” embodies about Spears returning to the music business as a free agent? 

    It was Taylor Swift who once said, “There’s this thing people say about celebrities, that they’re frozen at the age they got famous.” In Spears’ scenario, not only does that hold true (based on her perpetually childlike nature), but it also applies to the age she got frozen at before losing her agency. The age she last recognized herself as, well herself. Not to mention one of the last instances where she had more control over the music she released (even if it wasn’t enough control to get Original Doll out there). So it’s only natural to want to return to that state (as natural as Britney wanting to revert to being twelve years old on her forty-first birthday). “Mind Your Business,” for precisely that reason, sounds like it could be straight outta 2007 far more than it sounds like “fresh content.” The same goes for the puzzling cover art, which makes some of the half-assed PicsArt offerings Lana Del Rey has been known to “create” look positively effort-laden. Where “Mind Your Business” is concerned, the image for the single is confirmed to feature a photo of Spears (or at least her face) from 2003 taken by Mark Liddell (from the same photoshoot Spears favors using an image from for her Instagram profile). Which, again, speaks to all the ways that everything about this single seems to want to freeze Spears in that decade. A freezing that appears to be of her own making. 

    And, as alluded to before, it might not technically even be “fresh content,” with the possibility that it was first “generated” in the Britney Jean era and “laid down” by Myah Marie. A woman, incidentally, who once uploaded a parody of “Piece of Me” called “Don’t Take the Kids From Me.” Removed at some point after it was initially posted in 2011, the purported lyrics doing a sendup of Spears’ original song include, “I was miss preteen wet dream when I was seventeen/I lip-sang and pretended to sing/Got breast implants and a wedding ring/Then I flashed all my privates, they put pictures in the magazines/Don’t take the kids from me, don’t take the kids from me.” Then there was also the verse, “I started hittin’ the bottle/Lost all the titles of role model/Hitched in Vegas, forgot it/Did all the things that I wanted/And with a kid in the car/Don’t need a seat belt for protection/Don’t take the kids from me.” For a parody that came out in 2011, it has all the crisp mean-spiritedness that was plaguing Spears in ‘07-‘08. A time that would have also prompted Spears to repeat, “Mind your B, mind your B, mind your B” (the “B” obviously playing on the first initial of her infamous name—so infamous, in fact, that she often gets the “icon treatment” of being referred to by the mononym of “Britney”). 

    To that point, as Spears enters a new decade as a liberated woman, “Mind Your Business” feels decidedly “old hat” (though she did have some fire flat caps and fedoras in the 00s). By the same token, everything about it is “giving the people what they want”: 2000s hauntology. Although no one really wants something truly “new” from Spears, her uncanny ability to deliver the same themes and sounds from the 00s doesn’t quite work as well within the context of now, an era when, sure, she’s still occasionally “stalked” by paparazzi, but nowhere near the swarming level that was happening to her in 2007. To boot, those magazines that could once make so much coin off tracking her movements are no longer selling the way they used to. And websites like TMZ and Perez Hilton certainly have nothing close to their 00s-level influence. So, who then, is “Mind Your Business” really speaking to? Other than a need to dust off the time period in which Spears can last recall herself at her “best.” Or maybe she’s redirecting some of her ire toward the comments section (which she’s turned off at this point), where trolls abound in innovatively hateful ways. 

    And so it is that “Piece of Me” lyrics like, “Don’t matter if I step on the scene/Or sneak away to the Philippines/They still gon’ put pictures of my derrière in the magazine/You want a piece of me?/You want a piece of me” transmogrify into “Mind Your Business” lyrics like, “Uptown, downtown, everywhere I turn around/Hollywood, London, snap-snap is the sound/Paparazzi shot me, I am the economy [the “Britney economy” being the name of the entire career that cropped up out of documenting her in the aughts]/Follow me, follow me, follow me/Follow, follow me.” That last line having new meaning in the social media epoch. 

    This perpetual feeling of being hunted (like Diana) might still hold true for Spears in the form of the conspiracy theories surrounding her (even more so in the wake of the conservatorship) that make people obsessed with knowing her “real” location (or why she hasn’t gone anywhere at all). But it’s no longer as resonant as it was in the mid-aughts when she could scarcely walk down the street without risking some version of an assault. Indeed, it was her inability to do so that eventually led to the first major anti-paparazzi law getting passed after they ambushed her while she was being escorted by ambulance to the hospital in 2008. 

    Of course, a song like “Mind Your Business” exemplifies the great dichotomy of fame. Of how, on the one hand, a celebrity craves the kind of attention that secures them millions (or even billions of dollars), yet on the other, they just want to be treated like a “regular person.” A.k.a. have the financial/influence-related benefits of fame, along with anonymity and privacy in their “off” hours. Alas, being famous is a 24/7 occupation (but at least the pay grade somewhat matches that grueling schedule more accordingly than it does for others). 

    Britney once likened her life to a “Circus” and having all eyes on her in the center of the ring. To some extent, that’s made her world-weary. To another, it’s part of the “I’m paid attention to, therefore I am” mentality that many celebrities can’t ever shake once they find their fame. And, talking of circuses, the intro to “Mind Your Business” has a very circus-y, zany type of sound—with a sinister undertone that the Joker could probably get on board with. For that’s what belies the “glitz” and “glamor” of fame: a seedy, nightmarish underbelly. It then concludes with a choir-y repetition of “mind your B.” This after the final verse delivered by Spears that somewhat unfortunately echoes another 00s song, Baha Men’s “Who Let the Dogs Out?” Namely, when Spears, likely referring to her current coterie of canines, warns, “If they don’t get up out my face, then send the dogs out (woof)/Five seconds and then the dogs come out (woof)/You know what happens when the dogs come out/None of your business-ness.” The playful nonsensicality of it harkens back to Spears’ tone on “Work Bitch” (among the few standout tracks from Britney Jean) when she says, “I bring the treble, don’t mean to trouble ya/I make it bubble up, call me the bubbler/I am the bad bitch, the bitch that you’re lovin’ up.”

    Elsewhere, it’s not as though will.i.am’s lyrics do much to update the sound of the song either, with Big Brother-y nods like, “They watchin’ me, they watchin’ ya/They got eyes up in the sky/So pose for that camera” channeling Snoop Dogg and Justin Timberlake’s 2005 single, “Signs,” on which the former raps, “Now you stepping wit a G, from Los Angeles/Where the helicopters got cameras/Just to get a glimpse of our Chucks/And our khakis and our bouncer cars.” Much as they tried to get a glimpse of Britney doing just about anything banal (usually leaving Starbucks)…circa the 00s.

    In the present, Spears still refers to unflattering paparazzi photos she sees of herself (though it’s hard to say where), as though despising, more than anything, not being able to sustain the image she has of herself as that twenty-two-year-old from 2003 (hence, the picture chosen for the “Mind Your Business” cover art). Madonna, too, has a similar problem, but in contrast to Britney’s idol, there seems, here, to be a lack of any attempt at reinvention (both image-wise and in terms of experimenting with a different sound), so much as a leaning further into the decade that made her an icon in the first place. Because maybe, in the end, the early and mid-aughts are the last time she can remember, like so many of us, feeling any sense of “normalcy.” For, as skewed as her (and humanity’s) “normal” was back then, it’s undoubtedly even more oblique now. 

    Genna Rivieccio

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  • Britney Spears’ Instagram: Maybe “What U See (Is What U Get)”

    Britney Spears’ Instagram: Maybe “What U See (Is What U Get)”

    In some sense, it’s easier to believe the current conspiracy theories about Britney Spears. After all, it was “conspiracy theories” that led to her being freed from a needless thirteen-year conservatorship. But now that she is free (or “free,” as some people believe), it’s not quite what many were expecting. Complete with almost daily videos that are clearly not recent and captions that are “cryptic” at best. With most everyone (especially fans) wanting to interpret them as having some “arcane” meaning. But what if Britney actually is, in fact, just that simple? Talking incoherent-but-somehow-coherent shit about all the wrongs that have been done to her (of which there have been many) while embracing her “inbred swamp thing” Southern persona more than ever as she continues to say, “Holy shit balls” and flip off the camera. For, just as it was part of the reason for shaving her head in 2007, she wants to be effectively “unloved” by a public and a media that chewed her up and spit her out. In short, she is very firmly rebuffing any image of “America’s sweetheart” that might have ever been projected onto her. Or any attempt for that image to be re-projected now that she “owes” something to those who secured her unshackling.

    This perhaps includes, for those hoping to see warm and fuzzy images of her life now that it’s “unmanaged,” making it as messy and erratic as possible. Besides, it’s true that Britney once said (albeit during a period of far greater innocence in her life), “What you see/Is what you get/This is me, hey you/If you want me, don’t forget/You should take me as I am/‘Cause I can promise you/Baby, what you see is what you get.” Alas, no one can seem to believe that could possibly be true as they watch her jut out her sunburned-to-the-point-of-redness stomach in a midriff and continue to act as though she’s still dancing in the “…Baby One More Time” video—this often includes showcasing an “updated” version of the look via a green-and-blue plaid skirt with a white ruffle-collared shirt tied in a knot that is sure to expose plenty of belly. An outfit she chose to don for a January 21st post in which she performed her usual series of poses for the camera—exhibiting facial expressions that toe the line between awkward and sassy, though mostly the former. As though she can’t learn to deprogram from the idea that she’s constantly having to pose.

    To add to the eeriness of the display, Spears reverted to a commonly-played song in her Insta videos: Beyoncé’s “Haunted.” Those looking for hidden meaning would thusly be spooked by the lyrics she chose to highlight: “It’s what you do/It’s what you see/I know if I’m haunting you, you must be haunting me/It’s where we go/It’s where we’ll be/I know if I’m onto you, I’m onto you/Onto you, you must be onto me.” Such sentiments might spur the question: is she addressing that people, with their conspiracy theories, are “onto” the fact that she’s still not really in control? Least of all of her highly unhinged and consistently inconsistent Instagram account. Those descriptors were proven yet again on January 25th, after Spears went on yet another abstruse rant that many believe was pronounced shade at her husband’s infidelity before, once more, deleting the account.

    It was the expression of rage and its subsequent deletion that evidently prompted people to call the police to perform a “well check” on Spears at her home in Thousand Oaks. A.k.a. the home she was supposed to move out of in favor of a new one with Sam Asghari in Calabasas. But the latter residence is currently being “quietly” shopped around on the market as Spears has decided to return to the same home that should theoretically be filled with unpleasant associations… you know, because it was where she lived for a large bulk of her imprisoning conservatorship. But apparently, we all have a psychological glitch that allows us to find a slight bit of pleasure in the pain of revisiting old wounds.

    Upon the latest deletion of her account, the continued “concern” over Spears’ mental health—a polite way for people to excuse their fascination with watching “trainwrecks” and their drama—had also arisen when she changed her Instagram name from Channel 8 to River Red. Many could also read into that what they will—from making the correlation between Britney’s life and the 1998 movie of the same name about a boy who murders his abusive father to a commitment to never becoming menopausal (Britney has plenty of regressive tactics to stay in touch with the teen girl inside) to wanting the blood of those who wronged her to flow as gushingly as a river (in non-drought conditions). Like, say, Lou Taylor and Robin Greenhill of Tri Star Entertainment (not to be confused with TriStar Pictures).

    But then, such “outrage” over her “nonsensical” meanderings being drawn seems to invoke only giddy delight from Spears, who put up another post from the same day (January 21st) as the would-be neo-“…Baby One More Time” outfit. This one of a “collage” from @boipoppin with the caption, “I love being me. It pisses off all the right people.” That it truly does. In addition to all the wrong ones—like those who would seek to hem her in with a conservatorship (*cough cough* Lou Taylor and Robin Greenhill). And sell the idea to Spears’ father as the puppeteer. Two women who prompted a “red river” of shit on Britney’s Instagram in February of ’22, when she wrote (and later deleted, obviously), “The swanky suited up bitches … SO NICE with their ‘We are here to make you feel SPECIAL’ !!!! I had lunch with Lou Taylor and Robin Greenhill … they said ‘Britney, look at your picture on the wall!’ With a huge black and white framed picture in the hall of their office !!!!! Kate Beckinsale was there too !!!!! They sucked up to me and ‘made me feel special’ … RIGHT …. Ha those same bitches killed me a week later !!!!” Britney went on to say that her father/erstwhile conservator, Jamie Spears, “worshipped” Taylor and Greenhill and “would have done anything they asked of him.”

    Of her tenacity and endurance of such an unfathomable and incongruous situation, Spears asserted, “Nobody else would have lived through what they did to me !!! I lived through all of it and I remember all of it !!!! I will sue the shit out of Tri Star !!!! Psss they got away with all of it and I’m here to warn them every day of my precious life !!!!” Perhaps her warnings have persisted in the unrelenting posts that are drenched with the most enigmatic of shade as Britney dances and twirls or mimics one of the therapists she had to see while forced to be in a treatment facility. All of these freely put up for at least a day or two without Spears appearing to have any concern for how she’s “perceived.” Especially not now that her two narrow-minded sons have forsaken her in favor of the ultimate trashball that is Kevin Federline.

    But after a leaked video of her being “manic” at a restaurant in Thousand Oaks surfaced, Spears couldn’t ignore the ongoing scrutiny about her behavior. Thus, another dancing-in-the-studio post from Spears on January 23rd addressed her hyper-awareness of the public’s examination of her every move on social media—not to mention every (rare) move she makes in public. And yet, it’s an examination she slightly relishes and conjures by continuing to troll everyone with her captions. In this particular dancing video, she played some of her go-to favorite songs (e.g., Rihanna’s “Love on the Brain” and Chris Isaak’s “Baby Did A Bad Bad Thing”) with the “explanation,” “Howdy ho down … tipsy cattle balls !!! I have no idea what that means 🙈 … feeling kooky and silly but can’t act too kooky or silly like kids because they say ‘she’s CRAY CRAY’ … either way I gotta move … so I did !!! Sharing because I matter and if every person I call TAKES 9 RINGS TO ANSWER you can be certain I might get someone’s attention … all that LOVE !!! GOOD GOD RIGHT BACK AT YA !!! I bet after I post this my security answers after 2 RINGS … I be alive coming on my horse !!!” It sounds like a lot of word salad for the most part—at least to those who don’t know how to “look for the clues” and “allusions.” And, with regard to that security reference, it likely refers to Spears being literally policed with a “well check” every time she puts up a “cray cray” video.

    But as she once said in the aforementioned “What U See (Is What U Get),” “You should never try to change me/I can be nobody else/And I like the way I am.” Perhaps if so many people and “handlers” didn’t try to change her over the years, we might have some semblance of the girl we once knew in the era of Oops!…I Did It Again (on which this particular song appears).

    Uncannily enough, on the same track, Spears also sings the lyrics, “I know you watch me when I’m dancin’” and “I can feel your eyes on my back, baby/Uh na na/I can’t have no chains around me, baby can’t you see/I could be anything you dream of, but I gotta feel free.” Which she still clearly doesn’t/can’t because of how much weight is placed on the “strength” of her mental health each time she posts something snarky or silly or outright AI chatbot-sounding. As a “free” woman, however, doesn’t she have the right to? Maybe no one is controlling her—not even Sam. Maybe the harder truth to believe about Britney at this juncture is that what you see really is what you get. Complete with invectives like, “I generously serve you my shit … eat my shit!!! Psss !!! Keep coughing !!!” Whether aimed at Sam or not (as is the current speculation), Britney is right about one thing: “I could sit back and be like MOST and not give anyone anything to think about on Instagram.”

    Yet even when presenting her most blunt and honest thoughts (including, “Giving someone I love my everything only gives me the dagger in the heart !!!”), the majority wants to twist and turn them into something that isn’t rather straightforward. Because again, with Britney, “Baby, what you see is what you get.”

    Genna Rivieccio

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