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Mar 17th, 2024, 6:18 pm
Who knew that children could be so profitable? Those 19th-century robber barons had it all wrong. We shouldn’t be employing children, we should be selling things to children. YouTuber Blippi would have made a great coal mine owner in 1894. He knows how to squeeze every last cent out of a child. But how much does he make?
Who is Blippi?
Despite sounding like some sort of third-rate sports mascot, Blippi is anything but. Stevin John, also known as Blippi, is an American entertainer and child educator with an immensely popular YouTube channel. He’s practically the J.D. Rockefeller of children’s YouTube. What J.P. Morgan is to stock portfolios (and whatever else they do), he’s that but for babies learning about shapes and colors. John was born in 1988, in Ellensburg, Washington. John created the character Blippi in 2014, and boy do toddlers and preschoolers LOVE his content.
How much does Blippi make?
Blippi has a net worth of $90 million. $90 MILLION. He struck gold! Oil! But this kind of crude doesn’t come out of the ground! It comes from the eyes, hearts, and attention spans of children! Somehow Blippi has made his YouTube videos for kids so profitable that he’s making the kind of money that tech-bros can only gawk at. He’s making everyone in Silicon Valley question their line of work, I’m sure. I mean, just look at his HOUSES. PLURAL. Blippi lives in a 9000-square-foot mansion in California, and he owns five other properties. His house has seven bedrooms and nine bathrooms, along with a movie theatre, game room, and probably a secret dungeon behind a bookshelf where he makes Faustian bargains with demons in exchange for fabulous worldly possessions and success. How else do you explain it? Creativity? Passion? Hard work? Sounds pretty infernal to me.
What are Blippi’s YouTube stats?
Blippi has 17.7 million subscribers on his YouTube channel. I don’t know what’s more concerning, the fact that 17.7 million eight-year-olds have YouTube accounts or that Blippi has managed to catch all their attention like Pokémon. But surely YouTube isn’t Blippi’s only source of income? Any rich person worth their imported Himalayan salt knows the only way to REALLY make money is to diversify. And that’s exactly what Blippi did. The man has a line of toys, merch deals, and he’s even got a live show! That’s right, Blippi tours. He’s a one-man The Wiggles. Where do I buy tickets? I bet the pit at the Blippi show is insane.
(featured image: Stevin John/YouTube)
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Jack Doyle
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