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Tag: Amber Ginter

  • The Weight of Our Words

    The Weight of Our Words

    “Never make light of the king, even in your thoughts. And don’t make fun of the powerful, even in your own bedroom. For a little bird might deliver your message and tell them what you said.” Ecclesiastes 10:20 (NLT)

    When I was in high school, name-calling was the rage. My mom had warned me about bullies, but I thought times had changed… that was until I, too, became a victim.

    Whispers seemed to protrude through the walls I walked by, echoing secrets of those who had tread the same path before me. Most days, I hung my head low, shuffling from class to class as quickly as I could. Though their accusations were cruel, some made me stop and think. 

    I was used to being called “skinny,” a “twig,” a dog that needed “meat on my bones.” I was somehow mocked and yet praised for my intelligence; someone always wanted something from me, mainly help getting an ‘A’ on the next week’s assignment. Maybe those were compliments. To me, they felt like slaps across the face. 

    But one day, the words went a bit further. I was on my way to pick up fruit for a fundraiser I had participated in when I stumbled upon a new weighted word: Someone had written “Jew” across my order form. 

    While I was initially stunned, a smile erupted within my Spirit. My faith was evident, even in the face of judgment. If I was going to be bullied for something, let it be my unwavering faith in Jesus. I understood the power of standing firm in who I am, regardless of the whispers around me. 

    The weight of our words is powerful. They can hurt and they can build up. It’s a mystery that cursing and blessing can come from the same tongue (James 3:10). But these words, as hurtful as they once were, shaped my understanding of identity, faith, and the power of our speech.

    Here are three truths when it comes to knowing the weight of our words:

    1. The Impact of Words on Identity: You’re Not Who You Think You Are

    In a recent conversation with my therapist, we dug up some deep-seated beliefs I’ve had about myself. Some of them stem back to these days of bullying, while others seem to have come from things I’ve bullied myself into believing. But friend, just because you think something doesn’t mean it’s true. 

    It’s true that the more you think about something, the truer it becomes regardless of its validity. That’s just human nature. We believe what we tell ourselves and listen to. But this is all the more reason to be aware of these thoughts. Ecclesiastes 10:20 reminds us to not say bad things about other people, even within our minds or hearts. But what about the things we say to ourselves?

    At the end of the day, we must remember that we are not our thoughts or others’ thoughts about us; we are who Christ says we are. Maybe like me, you struggle to read and believe reaffirming passages like Psalm 139:14. For years, I refused to acknowledge this passage because I didn’t feel like it was true. I knew it in my head, but my heart hadn’t caught up yet. Here’s the good news: God’s Word is infallible, and it remains the same regardless of whether you internalize it or not (Titus 1:2; 2 Peter 1:19). 

    Recently, I put Psalm 139:14 on my bathroom mirror. Every day, I see it and recite it not because I feel good about myself but because I believe in the power of God’s Word. It’s alive and active to help me believe and acknowledge God’s truth over time. It serves as a reminder that I’m not who I think I am, but I am who God says I am regardless of how I feel at that moment. 

    2. A Change in Perspective: Choosing Faith Over Fear

    The second truth that the weight of our words has taught me is to adapt a change in perspective. Nothing is pleasant about being bullied, made fun of, or called names. I learned this the hard way in adulthood (because, newsflash, the criticism doesn’t stop when you grow older; there are just fewer repercussions for adults who bully). But changing how I view these hurtful words has changed me. 

    John 16:33 is a familiar passage to all of us when it comes to persecution and hardship. Jesus doesn’t promise an earthly world without these kinds of sufferings. But He does promise that His presence will be with us to the end. Learning to see our sufferings this way requires an eternal change of perspective. It doesn’t negate or minimize what we’re feeling here, but it helps us look beyond despite these turmoils. 

    The next time you’re faced with the weight of words, remember to choose faith over fear. Negativity and bullying present us with a choice: to succumb to hurt or to stand firm in our beliefs. Embracing our faith empowers us to rise above the words that aim to tear us down (2 Corinthians 10:5). Being proud of our identity as children of God can transform our perspective on adversity.

    3. Be Mindful: Watch the Ripple of Your Words

    Once we’ve realigned our thoughts with who Christ says we are and learned to stand firm in those truths, we must remember to watch our thoughts and tongues, the third truth that the weight of words has taught me. As much as I’d like to say I’ve never bullied anyone, I’m confident there have been times I’ve thought choice words about unkind people. Ecclesiastes reminds us this, too, is meaningless.

    Just as others’ words can deeply impact us, we must be mindful of the words we speak about ourselves and others. Our private thoughts can have public consequences. God knows our every thought before we ever think them (Psalm 139:1-4), but we’re still responsible for what comes out of us.  

    If we want to change the weight of our words, it begins by speaking life, encouragement, and respect to ourselves and those around us. Not because it’s always easy, or we believe it, but because we know it’s the right thing to do. Want to transform the weight of your words? Here are some practical action steps you can take to implement this practice:

    Practice Daily Affirmations. Begin every day with positive truths found in the Word, like Psalm 139:14 or 1 John 4:4. Reciting these daily affirmations will help reinforce your identity in Christ even if you don’t yet believe them. Speaking these truths aloud sets the tone for your day and allows God’s Word to penetrate the divide between flesh and spirit (Hebrews 4:12). 

    Choose Your Words Wisely. Whether you’re in high school, college, or adulthood, choosing to think before you speak is wise. If we’re honest, most of us find it easier to fly off the cuff and speak what’s on our minds than to pause, be patient, and reflect before responding. But choosing our words wisely has eternal benefits. It allows us to think about the choice of our words to value the weight of each one. Are these words life-giving, or are we saying them out of spite? Making a conscious effort to replace unkind words with thoughtful ones can not only benefit you but also those you engage with. 

    Pray for Transformation. As human beings, we have free will. But this free will is powered by the Spirit’s work within us to transform who we are and bring us from where we’ve once been. Seeking God’s guidance is one of the best ways to transform your heart, soul, and mind. It’s also the best way to transform the words that come out of you. 

    Proverbs 4:23 (ESV) says it this way: “Keep your heart with all vigilance, for from it flow the springs of life.” When we pray for God’s Spirit to transform us and the power of our words, we receive wisdom—wisdom to discern when to speak and when to listen, even and especially in speaking to and listening to ourselves. 

    Which practical action step will you try this week to transform the weight of your words?

    Agape, Amber

    Photo Credit: ©Pexels/Liza Summer

    Amber Ginter is a teacher-turned-author who loves Jesus, her husband Ben, and granola. Growing up Amber looked for faith and mental health resources and found none. Today, she offers hope for young Christians struggling with mental illness that goes beyond simply reading your Bible and praying more. Because you can love Jesus and still suffer from anxiety. You can download her top faith and mental health resources for free to help navigate books, podcasts, videos, and influencers from a faith lens perspective. Visit her website at amberginter.com.

    Amber Ginter

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  • What I’ve Learned in My First Year of Marriage

    What I’ve Learned in My First Year of Marriage

    July 3rd, 2024, marks my husband Ben’s and my first year of marriage. Most people look forward to celebrating fireworks on the 4th, but the fireworks in our hearts began just a day earlier.

    Ben and I dated for just over five years before we got married. In some ways, marriage has been exactly what I thought it would be. My husband is still the same person I married. Things that annoyed me while dating him still annoy me now. But I love the things I loved about him while we were dating even more now. I’m sure he could say the same about me.

    In other veins, marriage has not been what I expected or anticipated. Most days, I find myself thinking, “How in the world do Mom and Grandma manage everything they do?” More often than not, I end my days pondering, “How will I ever get it all done with so much to do?”

    While marriage has been a blend of what I’ve thought it would and wouldn’t be, I can say with certainty that it’s worth it. Every ounce of pain, tears, and conflict we’ve faced has been countered by immeasurable joy, love, and resolution. As our former pastor quoted in his charge to us the day we got married: “Marriage is a gift of God, given to comfort the sorrows of life and magnify the joys. Marriage is the clasping of hands, the blending of hearts, the union of two lives as one. Your marriage must stand on more than a piece of paper. It must stand in the strength of your love and by the power of your faith in one another and in God.”

    At the end of the charge, our pastor encouraged us to embrace three covenants of marriage: faith, hope, and love. Just as Paul wrote in 1 Corinthians 13, the same charge should be applied to us today, “And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love” (v. 13, NIV).

    As I reminisce over the the last year, and the lessons I’ve learned as a new wife, there are three things I’d like to share with you. Whether you’re married, dating, single, or looking to grow in your faith, I hope these truths can serve as a source of encouragement and strength:

    1. The Importance of Communication

    Before Ben and I got married, numerous people told us to prioritize communication with our spouse to be, and with our Creator. The same is still true and applicable today. Marriage doesn’t change our need for interaction with others. In fact, some might say it exasperates it. 

    Communication is an important factor in any relationship. This is why knowing how to talk to God and your spouse or significant other is so valuable. How we communicate also matters.

    James 1:19 is a life verse we should all take heed of and apply to our lives in the way we interact with and speak to others: “My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry” (NIV). 
    While this Scripture is much easier said than done, it’s a good goal to keep in mind. Christ reminds us to pursue excellence in all we do, and that extends into our speaking, listening, and talking skills (Philippians 4:8; Matthew 5:48). Surely, being patient, hearing to understand, and thinking before we respond are all habits we can pursue both inside the confines of marriage and out.
    Proverbs 18:21 summarizes our key point best in these words: “Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruits” (ESV).

    Communication must be open, vulnerable, honest, and kind, but above all, it must be Christ-like. The reason communication is so detrimental to any relationship is because of the immense power and value the words we say and use hold. 

    One of the biggest things I’ve learned this last year is the power of those words. My husband can’t read my mind, and I can’t read his. I get the assumption yours can’t follow suit either. Even couples who know one another best and have been together for decades will never get it all right. We’re not mind readers! But I believe God intentionally created us this way for a reason.

    In May, I was going through a stressful time. I’d just resigned from teaching, had surgery, and attended my first writing conference. One evening in particular, I told my husband I was struggling to communicate with God and didn’t have the mental energy to pray or read my Bible. He told me that God still desired to hear from me that day. Then he asked me how I’d feel if he went an entire day without talking to me. Though I got offended at first and just wanted him to validate the exhaustion I was feeling, he had a point.

    Even though God is God and already knows everything about me, He still wants me to talk to Him. He also still wants to hear from you! Jesus Christ is the greatest mind reader of all time, and still, communication is vital to my relationship with Him. Why would we expect our relationships with other humans to be any different?

    2. The Value of Playfulness

    About six months into marriage, I quickly realized our communication was improving, but our playfulness was dying. It wasn’t until we were in the middle of a Kroger run—the third time that month we were supposed to be on a date—that we discovered we were sacrificing date time for chores. Maybe you can relate?

    Life is busy. Adulting is busy. Marriage is busy. No one ever said squashing two lives into one was easy or less busy. But learning to value and prioritize playfulness needs to fit into your busy schedule if you intend for your relationship to succeed and thrive!

    In Ephesians 5, the roles of husbands and wives are discussed. One thing you may have never noticed, however, is that marriage is to be a source of life and joy—not life and joy to replace that which Christ gives, but to join with it in harmony.

    Not only is playfulness a sign of a happy marriage, but it’s also a sign of a healthy, productive, and functioning one. Playfulness doesn’t mean being rude or insincere with our words. It also doesn’t mean forsaking responsibility for all fun and games. But godly playfulness takes delight in the gift of marriage that God has given us. 

    Phylicia Masonheimer, author and theologian, describes playfulness in our relationship with God and our spouse this way: 

    “What would it do to our relationship with God, viewing Him as playful? When I first considered this I was in the middle of my “flirtation experiment” with Josh. We were in a dry-ish season of marriage and I wanted to put some fun back into it. I made a list of 30 “flirtation” ideas and did one a day, recording my feelings and his response. One of my experiments was “playfulness”. I told jokes. I did a silly dance. I surprised him with water balloons after work. He was a little surprised at first. While I readily laugh at his jokes, I’m not the one to initiate silliness! But by making an effort in this area I noticed Josh’s joy increasing, his own readiness to make me laugh increasing, and – what surprised me most – my own love increasing. Laughing together, playing together, brought us closer together. I began to wonder: If I laughed with God… would I feel closer to Him? God is a spirit, not a human, so “laughing” with Him was very different from laughing with Josh. The very concept probably sounds abstract. But based on what Scripture says about God’s joy, I take for granted that the Lord wants to hear from me – in good or bad, joy or sorrow. I started sharing the things I found hilarious with the Lord. I would actually pray them to Him as if I was telling a friend.”

    Though it’s a lengthy quote, I think Masonheimer hits the nail on the head when it comes to articulating our playfulness with our spouse and our Creator. 

    3. The Priority of Christ

    A little over five years ago, when Ben and I first started dating, I worried about prioritizing my relationship with Christ and a romantic relationship. The more I sought the Lord and His Word, however, I was affirmed of this truth: The greater I pursue Jesus, the more love I’ll have to lavish on another person. The less I pursue Him, the less I’ll have available to give. We cannot pour out love if we aren’t seeking Love Himself.

    The longer I’m married, the more I see the importance of prioritizing Christ in my marriage. What does that practically look like? Ben and I are far from mastering this concept, but here are a few things we’ve found that work for us.

    -Spend time reading the Bible, praying, and talking to God on your own, but also spend time doing those things as a couple. While this can sound overwhelming, it doesn’t have to be. Daily, I read the Word, pray, and talk to God, but weekly, Ben and I pray and study together. Sometimes we utilize a morning or evening devotional we can do on our own time and then regroup later because it works for our flexibility. Feel free to try out practices and see what works best for you.

    -Go to church and small group together. It might sound obvious, but attending Church and fellowship outings as a couple not only helps us prioritize our relationship with God but one another. While it’s taken us time to get settled into a place we could call home or find people our age to study the Scriptures with, both have been well-worthy investments. If you’re struggling to find good options, don’t be afraid to look for online study groups, and try new places.

    Pursuing Christ is the highest calling you’ll ever receive, and it’s only through and in that relationship you’ll ever be able to successfully prioritize loving others. 

    What’s the biggest thing you’ve learned from being married? What advice would you give someone who’s getting married or just got married? I encourage you to share those thoughts with someone you love today. I’m certainly not an expert, but I’m choosing to grow and learn along the way. 

    Agape, Amber 

    Photo Credit: ©iStock/Getty Images Plus/Nadtochiy

    Amber Ginter is a teacher-turned-author who loves Jesus, her husband Ben, and granola. Growing up Amber looked for faith and mental health resources and found none. Today, she offers hope for young Christians struggling with mental illness that goes beyond simply reading your Bible and praying more. Because you can love Jesus and still suffer from anxiety. You can download her top faith and mental health resources for free to help navigate books, podcasts, videos, and influencers from a faith lens perspective. Visit her website at amberginter.com.

    Amber Ginter

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  • Your Husband Isn’t the Enemy

    Your Husband Isn’t the Enemy

    We had a showdown at MC Wholesale the other day. Pull out the tumbleweeds and gun fire and we would’ve had a fight. 

    This wasn’t any argument. It was an argument over a $5 piece of technology my husband desperately pleaded he needed. To him it was a need. I called it a want or desire.

    After being asked 35 times with the word “please,” I hung my head in defeat. “I’m not going to lose my marriage over a stupid piece of equipment,” I remarked. “Go get it,” I relented. “Only if you’re okay with it,” my husband replied. I wasn’t, but I obliged. I hadn’t given up my mind. After two hours of arguing in the store, however, I realized it wasn’t worth it.

    As much as I didn’t want my husband to buy that piece of technology I would call junk, the fact was this: my husband isn’t the enemy. I suspect that yours (or your spouse or significant other isn’t the enemy either).

    Did I realize that while talking heatedly in the store? Absolutely not. Did I realize it later and regret some choice words said? Yes. Perhaps my mishap in the store can prevent you from your own.

    Here are two things I learned:

    1. Check Your Priorities

    For me, this entire situation began long before Ben saw this “beautiful piece of technology” he just had to have. It didn’t matter to me that it was “worth $1000,” “a stellar deal,” or could “just sit quietly in the basement.” What mattered was that any clutter stresses me out and makes me anxious. 

    Growing up in a home fragmented by abuse, chaos, and pain has often made stuff the enemy. It’s not that stuff did anything to me, but it was always present in my trauma.

    Piles of laundry remind me of long days and longer nights with my mom. Doing all the chores ourselves without a helping hand.

    Paper and piles remind me of overdue bills and hectic grocery trips. Did we have enough money or did someone spend it all? Could we afford to use the AC, or would we need to spend another night using the windows?

    Misplaced items we didn’t need or have room for remind me of extravagant things people would bring into our home that we clearly couldn’t afford. They remind me of someone trying to buy my love when all I really wanted was their time.

    So as Ben and I left the store and sat in the car, I thought about my priorities. He knew the concerns I’d voiced about clutter and anxiety, and I knew his. But I had to trust him and prioritize our relationship over being right or wrong in this disagreement. As my Grandma Memo often quotes, “Sometimes, agreeing to disagree,” is the healthiest and best thing you can do in that moment. It may very well still be uncomfortable and unpleasant, but it can help table the conversation until later when both parties are in a better headspace. 

    2. Check Your Heart

    The second thing this incident revealed to me is stated in the title but worth noting and explaining.

    When arguments happen, we’re quick to place blame, aim, shoot, and fire. If we’re not careful, we will place blame where blame was never due.

    In this particular situation, both my husband and I exemplified habits and said things we wished we hadn’t. There were many things that would’ve been better than how we handled it. Can you relate? We’re almost a year into marriage and still learning a lot. I figure I’ll be learning my entire life. But one thing I felt Christ tell me was, “Your husband isn’t the enemy.” I needed to check my heart. Do you?

    So many arguments in our lives could be prevented if we immediately took them to Christ before responding. Did I do this as soon as Ben and I disagreed? No. Did I do it fifteen minutes later? Yes. What did God tell me? To listen, have grace, and recognize the true enemy.

    Friend, no matter the situation, argument, or unpleasant circumstance you may be dealing with, I guarantee you that the person, place, or thing, isn’t the enemy. We all know that Satan is declared a liar, a thief, and someone who seeks to destroy us. Satan‘s goal is to distract us from Christ by making those around us the enemy. As Christians, we have to be wiser and smarter than that. 

    Scripture tells us that the thief has come to steal, kill, and destroy, but Jesus has come to give us life and life to the fullest (John 10:10). If Satan can turn our friends, family, world, leaders, and nations into the enemy, then he’s already won. Don’t let him.

    Take Your Heart to Christ

    I’m not saying that what someone did to you is right or wasn’t a sin. We live in a fallen world with broken people who do and say things they shouldn’t all of the time. The abuse, manipulation, and pain that you’ve experienced are real and heartbreaking. That physical or mental trauma matters—because you matter.

    What I am saying is that before we respond to situations, we need to think. We need to make sure that our priorities and our hearts are right and not right in the sense of the world, but right in the sense of being aligned with Christ and what the Scriptures say. Why? Because doing so can prevent heartache, words spoken too soon, and reactions based on emotions rather than fairness.

    I’m an emotional person. I’ve experienced tragedy, heartache, heartbreak, trauma, and pain. But I’m learning to realize those around me aren’t the enemy. I hope this post can encourage you to learn and do the same. 

    It’s not going to be easy. It’s also not a one-and-done process. Remember, there are no quick fixes or simple answers in this life. But over time, as we allow the Spirit to work in and through us, it’s worth it.

    The next time you’re in a heated room and you feel yourself growing antsy, take a deep breath and ask yourself, “What are my priorities, and have I checked my heart?” Your husband, significant other, best friend, sister, brother, mom, dad, grandma, grandpa, aunt, teacher, professor, boss, you name it, isn’t the enemy. And he will do anything and everything to convince you that he isn’t. Stand on guard. Know who the bad guy really is and call him out—not those you love.

    Agape, Amber

    Photo Credit: ©Getty Images/fizkes

    Amber Ginter is a teacher-turned-author who loves Jesus, her husband Ben, and granola. Growing up Amber looked for faith and mental health resources and found none. Today, she offers hope for young Christians struggling with mental illness that goes beyond simply reading your Bible and praying more. Because you can love Jesus and still suffer from anxiety. You can download her top faith and mental health resources for free to help navigate books, podcasts, videos, and influencers from a faith lens perspective. Visit her website at amberginter.com.

    Amber Ginter

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  • Prayers for the Friend Who Is Lost or Drifted Away from God

    Prayers for the Friend Who Is Lost or Drifted Away from God

    The last couple of summers I have hosted a teen Bible study where we have opened The Word and saturated ourselves with a certain book or took a detour into a topical study. More recently, a few of these sweet teens have been inquiring about the end times and asked to pick my brain about it. While I don’t claim to have the most knowledge on the subject, I still invited them over. We all sat around my messy kitchen table as we flipped through Scriptures together to gleam and learn what God’s Word had to say. 

    As I was talking to a few of these sweet young ladies and munching on snacks (which is deemed necessary when talking to teens), a question came up that sent a glaringly loud signal penetrating my own heart.

    “How should we pray for our lost friends?”

    Her concerned eyes locked with mine and her sincere and genuine inquiry made me pause before I could muster up an answer. Let me clarify by saying I have known this particular young lady since she was a tiny tot, and her soft heart for showing God’s love to others is awe-inspiring. Yet she was asking me how to reach her friends who seemed lost and showed signs of slowly drifting away from God. It just got me thinking about how often I pray for my own friends who waver in their faith. And, sadly the answer to that is… not enough!

    Honestly, I cannot stress this enough – the enemy is on full-blown attack, and he is after our children, our marriages, our family, and our friends. His mission is to destroy the lives of the faithful, making them turn away from God. He wants to tempt, tantalize, and slowly torture them, bringing on confusion and lies wrapped in sweet eye candy. He is stealing away their heart for knowledge based on Truth and replacing it with deception. He is basically luring them in to tear them down. 

    Unfortunately, as much as we may want to step in and stop it, gently coaxing our loved ones back to the Truth, aiming to get them to ultimately seek God, it’s not so easy. When the liar has a stranglehold on a friend, they may build up walls of resentment towards you, turn inward, or altogether shut you out! In that case, we need to bring out our most powerful weapon – prayer.

    Will you join me in praying for those dear friends who have lost their way? Maybe they have drifted away from their faith, have conformed to the sinful patterns of the world, or have allowed the enemy to speak so loudly that they are beginning to believe the lies. 

    Now… I invite you to take a mental picture of that lost friend right now. Do you see them? Good. Now, bring that dear and beloved friend to Jesus, and let’s unleash our greatest weapon. The power of our prayers!

    A Prayer to Hear and Receive Truth

    Father God, I am so grateful that You are a good and faithful Father (2 Timothy 2:13). You tell us in your Word that even if we are faithless, You remain steadfast and faithful. That gives me so much comfort because I come to You today with a heavy heart. My dear friend, (name), is so desperately lost and hopeless. She has hardened her heart to the truth of Your Word, becoming blind to Your goodness, mercy, and grace, unwilling to hear and receive the richness of Your amazing love. Lord, I ask that You step in and touch her heart in a mighty way, as only You can. Rekindle the flames of faith and ignite the Holy Spirit within her so she can rely on You when the world is clamoring for her attention. I ask this in Your Holy name. Amen.

    A Prayer to Feel the Presence of God

    O Lord, You have such a tender and beautiful way in which You meet with your beloved daughters. Your love is so great, so deep, and so wide that it never ceases to amaze me (Psalm 36:5-7). In saying that, I lift up my friend, (name). She desperately needs to feel the warmth and peace that comes from Your radiating presence. I pray that she turns to You and finds a safe place and source of refuge from the trouble and alignments of this brutal and messy world (Psalm 46:1). Lord, I ask that You draw close and provide ways for her to feel Your precious presence. Give her moments to seek quiet and still moments to minister to her heart. Amen. 

    A Prayer for Faithful Fellowship

    Jesus, You are so very good to us and our closest ally and friend. Your compassion and love never fail, which is why I humbly lift up my dear sister who is in need of that tender reminder. She has pushed You away and is rejecting You in this season of her life. I pray that You please remove unhealthy or unsafe relationships and replace them with faithful friends who will draw her back to You. Lord, help me be the faithful friend she needs and speak with love, truth, and grace (James 5:16). I pray that in time she finds a place of worship or a community of faithful women she can trust to walk alongside her and grow her faith. Amen.

    A Prayer for Repentance

    Thank you, God, for Your abundant mercy and grace. You are so very good to us and constantly seek after us time and time again (Luke 15:3-7). I come to You with a grieving heart for my friend who has stumbled into self-indulgence and wandered away from the flock. She has sadly embraced the world and is chasing after the tantalizing ways of the flesh. So, Lord, I come to You with a heart of sorrow and conviction. I ask that You forgive me where I have failed and lost sight of Your precious Truth, as I know I have also entertained the lies of the enemy. Yet, as I fight my own battles, I also give You my heart filled with sorrow for my friend. Lord, please soften her heart and allow the Holy Spirit to do a great work in her life, convicting her of any sin. Bring about a desire to change and turn to walk in the goodness of Your ways. I pray this in Jesus’ name. Amen.

    A Prayer to Fall Deeply Back in Love with Jesus

    Faithful Father, thank You for Your unfailing and unconditional love. As I lift up my precious friend, (name), I ask that You would draw close and reveal Yourself to her in a mighty and powerful way. I want so badly for her to fall back into the goodness of Your love and experience the abundant life only You can offer her. You tell us that You are the Way, the Truth, and the Life (John 14:6). Inspire my friend to seek the goodness of Your ways by quenching her thirst with the refreshment of Your Word and a desire to live a life that honors You. I earnestly pray that she falls deeply in love with You as You reclaim all her heart, all her soul, all her mind, and all her strength (Mark 12:30-31). I ask this in Your precious name. Amen.

    My Prayer for You

    Lord, I hand over the sweet daughter who is laying eyes on this today, lovingly lifting up her beloved friend. While You know the intricate details of this situation and the intimate nature of each of their hearts, I pray a special blessing over their friendship. I pray that You intervene, restoring any hurt and heartache that comes with a friend whose faith is wavering. I pray that You offer wisdom and discernment on how to approach such fragile topics and that the words and actions she shares with her friend are offered and displayed with Your love, truth, and grace. Lord, please give this dear daughter of Yours the encouragement she needs to be a light to her friend. I pray this in Jesus’ name. Amen. 

    Photo Credit: ©Getty-AntonioGuillem

    Amber Ginter is a teacher, author, blogger, and mental health activist who resides in the beautiful mountains and cornfields of Ohio. She loves Jesus, granola, singing, reading, dancing, running, her husband Ben, and participating in all things active. She’s currently enrolled in the Author Conservatory Program and plans to pitch her book: Mental Health and the Modern Day Church for Young Adults, soon. Visit her website at amberginter.com.

    Amber Ginter

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  • When Dates Run Dry

    When Dates Run Dry

    Today marks three months since my husband and I got married. I wish I could tell you that time slows down, but the old adage that it only speeds up is proving to be accurate. In the blink of an eye, we’ve traveled time and space from July 3rd to October 3rd. Almost one entire 9-weeks as a high school English teacher might say, or summer to fall for those of you who possess 9-5 careers. 

    While it might sound cliche or concerning, one thing that Ben and I wanted to emphasize before we got married was premarital counseling. While premarital discipleship is generally encouraged, marital counseling is often frowned upon. It’s a myth, however, that only people who are having trouble in their marriages should participate in marital counseling. Ben and I started premarital counseling a few months before we got married, and we’re still pursuing it now (as marital counseling). 

    In a recent session, our counselor encouraged us to continue having fun and pursuing one another. We always took this seriously during dating and engagement because we wanted to emphasize our friendship over our romance. It also helped greatly in adhering to boundaries. 

    But just because you’ve caught the fish, per se, doesn’t mean you let it off the hook and swim away. In other words, just because you’re finally married doesn’t mean you stop pursuing or having fun with your spouse. In fact, it’s essential that you prioritize those dates to foster and grow your relationship as a married couple. 

    I’ve heard it said that while sex and romance can be fun in marriage, and are essential parts of it, you’ll spend most of your time just hanging out with the other person. This is why marriage coaches and counselors strongly encourage you to be friends and make sure you just enjoy being with the other person. 

    Typically, in Ben and I’s relationship, I’m the one to plan and schedule dates. I always have a never-ending list of options in my mind, and because I love to explore and travel, I’m always thinking of the next idea. Ben, on the other hand, struggles with thinking of fresh or new date ideas. I believe there are probably a lot of guys out there that can relate. And though I’m generally good at coming up with this list, I’ll be honest in saying that making room for dates post-marriage has proven to be a challenge.

    Between laundry, dishes, cooking, cleaning, teaching, writing, dancing, and running, I have started to have trouble prioritizing our dates. I’ve even run dry of ideas because I’m so distracted by things I need to do, places I need to go, and assignments I need to complete. Maybe you can relate?

    If you’re in this boat, I want to encourage you with three simple ways you can prioritize your relationship tonight–even when date ideas run dry:

    1. Focus on Getting Out

    One of the best tips Ben and I have learned for prioritizing our relationship and having dates might sound oversimplified, but it’s been a game-changer. Choosing to have dates outside of the house not only requires us to move around and go somewhere but also helps me to not cave and start doing chores. 

    When you’re home, you’re constantly surrounded and bombarded by stimuli. Especially stimuli that look like piles of laundry, mounds of dishes, and 3,000 other tasks bombarding your brain. By removing yourself physically from the home, you’re creating space to get out, go somewhere (even if it’s just a local park or theater), and get away from tasks and to-dos that might otherwise try to entice your attention. 

    2. Focus on Letting Loose

    Although Ben and I still struggle with this, the second piece of advice that has helped us greatly when dates run dry is focusing on letting loose. Letting loose simply means not taking ourselves so seriously, remembering to be playful, and laughing a lot. Some days, this is easier than others, and there will probably be times and moods when you just simply don’t feel like laughing. But that’s okay. 

    The emphasis here is to aim for smiles and laughter. Even if it requires telling old jokes and stories or watching a few silly videos on YouTube while you try out stupid “dad jokes” on one another, the laughs, in the end, will be worth it. Sometimes, taking the time to unwind, relax, and let go together can be just as rewarding.

    3. Focus on Each Other

    At the end of the day (or date), perhaps the most important thing to keep in mind is focusing on each other. Especially in the day and age in which we live, overstimulation through TV shows, phones, social media, and sports can be distracting to our relationships. I know for me, I hate nothing more than talking to someone who is physically present but mentally isn’t. 

    Focusing on each other during your date time is crucial to connection and communication. Put the phones away, look into one another’s eyes, and take the time to bask in the presence of your loved one. These are memories and moments you won’t have again, so don’t take them for granted. 

    If you’re struggling to make time for dates, or your well has simply run dry, be encouraged. You’re not alone. But having dates doesn’t have to be a daunting and terrifying task. It merely asks you to spend time with the one you love by prioritizing that time, getting out, and focusing on each other. How will you pursue your spouse this week?

    15 Simple Ideas to Get You Started

    1. Go for a hike

    2. Go to the movies

    3. Create your own movie night at home

    4. Explore an indoor amusement park 

    5. Check your city for local events

    6. Recreate your old date favorites

    7. Get dressed up and go out for the night (think fancy dinners and dancing)

    8. Take a dance class (I’m biased on this, but it creates great chemistry!)

    9. Take a cooking class together (or create your own at home)

    10. Go on a double date with friends 

    11. Go for a run 

    12. Go for a bike ride

    13. Find an online scavenger hunt that takes you through a local town or city

    14. Play board games

    15. Learn to play an instrument and sing together 

    Happy dating!

    Agape, Amber

    Photo Credit: ©iStock/Getty Images Plus/Constantinis

    Amber Ginter is a teacher, author, blogger, and mental health activist who resides in the beautiful mountains and cornfields of Ohio. She loves Jesus, granola, singing, reading, dancing, running, her husband Ben, and participating in all things active. She’s currently enrolled in the Author Conservatory Program and plans to pitch her book: Mental Health and the Modern Day Church for Young Adults, soon. Visit her website at amberginter.com.

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  • When God Sends a Person

    When God Sends a Person

    Since getting married, Ben and I have been exploring options for our new church. Not that we wanted to leave our former church, but the almost-hour drive now makes it quite a challenge. If you’ve ever been on a “Church Search” before, you know the confusion, pain, and frustration such a challenge can bring. 

    After visiting over half a dozen churches, Ben and I are still sorting out our top choices. And while this process is exciting, it’s also incredibly overwhelming and saddening. I’ve never known what it feels like to belong to a church, yet not. To have one you call home, but need to find a new home. Now I do. 

    Making Changes

    Over the last three months, I’ve noticed a change in my faith and approach in talking to Jesus. I’ve realized that I often care more about “religion” than “relationship,” and that’s something I’m actively working to change. 

    I’ve also learned that while Bible reading and listening to sermons are important aspects of our faith, they aren’t everything. And when you’re someone who struggles with an addiction to productivity or checking off task lists, sometimes the best thing you can do is get out of this box and make room for Him to speak in new and fresh ways. Getting off-track on my Bible plan, taking a day off from reading to worship, or going to a new church service, for example, are all activities outside of my comfort zone that push me further and deeper into my relationship with Christ. 

    One thing I didn’t realize that would happen with this “Church Search,” however, is the loneliness I would feel from missing my community. Experiencing physical and mental pain simultaneously tends to make this process of “plugging in with others” even more challenging. But then, God sends a person. 

    In Unexpected Ways

    A few months before Ben and I got married, I contacted a dance studio a close friend referred me to. She knew how much I loved dance, but she also saw the struggle I fell into as an adult. I was suddenly too young and too old at the same time, and finding classes for my age was virtually impossible. 

    When I graduated college, I wasn’t allowed to keep the dance team I started. So, I tried to start my own young adult ministry team. As I quickly learned, adults tend to be fickle, and the number of people willing to sacrifice time for dance ministry is slim. The older you grow, the less time you often have for things you once enjoyed. 

    Without dance in my life, the last few years have been difficult. I’ve walked a lot of hard and bumpy roads. Clinging to Jesus, I searched high and low for opportunities yet found none. I began to wonder if maybe God was asking me to take a break from something I loved. 

    During a phone call with one potential studio, I learned that another individual my age was searching for dance opportunities. On a whim, I sent her a message and was thankfully not seen as a creep. We learned that she knew my husband and had mutual friends. You can imagine my surprise when I saw her at the second church Ben and I decided to visit!

    Friendship Is Sweet Like Honey

    Not only was she kind and courageous, but I quickly learned of her love for Christ despite the immense tragedies she’d recently faced. I was in awe. 

    For several months, we stayed in contact and were determined to meet. We didn’t know it then, but God was orchestrating our friendship. 

    Fast forward to that second Sunday service in September. Ben and I went back to the church where I’d originally met this individual. After a rough week at work, I was feeling weak and weary. This individual knew about parts of my hardships because we’d been chatting on and off throughout the week. But when Ben and I visited the Church, we couldn’t find each other. 

    During the service, I knew that I needed deep and restorative healing. Physically, mentally, socially, emotionally, and relationally I felt depleted. All the air was sucked out of my lungs, and I felt like a walking sloth. 

    But when the pastor asked those who needed prayers for healing to stand, my feet became quicksand. I didn’t know why, but as hard as I tried to pick one up, I sank back down. It wasn’t that I was fearful of people knowing I needed help, but some type of fear and anxiety held a grip on me.

    Feeling defeated, I sunk back into the plush chair beneath me. I was heavily convicted. I felt confused and afraid. I knew I was missing my chance.

    As the pastor asked those not standing to go and pray with those who were, I immediately stood up. I thought that I might ask my husband to pray for me at that moment. But there wasn’t a need. 

    In less than five seconds flat, this new friend had found me and asked, “Were you standing?”

    Ashamed, I lifted my head and looked into her gentle eyes. 

    “No, but I should be,” I whispered. 

    And yet somehow, she knew. Her response was gentle. Kind. Christ-like. She offered to pray with me, and I agreed. 

    “I knew Jesus wanted me to find you and pray with you,” she noted. 

    “We are going to see you healed.”

    Her words shook my soul. Partially because they were a bold declaration. Partially because I so desperately wanted them to be true. But after five years of suffering, I questioned. Can God still heal me?

    A Bold Declaration 

    Today, I don’t know if you can relate to this post, but I certainly know most of you out there can relate to suffering in some way, shape, or kind. And I want you to know that no matter where you’re at, or what your circumstance is, I’m speaking over myself and you that God can still heal us. 

    Not because I’ve already seen the healing, but because I believe that faith is taking that first step of confidence in something, even and especially when you can’t see it. Five, ten, twenty-five years down the road. 

    It’s not going to be easy, friend. Like me, you’re probably going to have questions, doubts, and waves of fear. Times when your feet won’t move out of the quicksand. Times when you’ll need someone to help pull you out. 

    But if God can send me a friend in a random sea of churchgoers I don’t know to pray with me, surely He’s hearing my prayers. 

    Surely He’s capable of healing me. 

    Surely He’s capable of comforting me when His answer is “No” or “Not yet.” 

    Surely He’s capable of sending exactly who we need when we need them.

    Surely He’s capable of doing all the same and more for you. 

    And for that, I am eternally grateful. 

    Agape, Amber

    Photo Credit: ©GettyImages/KatarzynaBialasiewicz

    Amber Ginter is a teacher, author, blogger, and mental health activist who resides in the beautiful mountains and cornfields of Ohio. She loves Jesus, granola, singing, reading, dancing, running, her husband Ben, and participating in all things active. She’s currently enrolled in the Author Conservatory Program and plans to pitch her book: Mental Health and the Modern Day Church for Young Adults, soon. Visit her website at amberginter.com.

    Amber Ginter

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  • 3 Tips for Your First Month of Marriage

    3 Tips for Your First Month of Marriage

    About a month ago, Ben and I got married under the bliss of sheltered trees and blazing sun. The day was magical and whimsical, the things they talk about in movies. But in the blink of an eye, almost an entire month has already passed and I’m in awe. One, at how quickly the time has passed, and two, what the Lord is teaching me through this process. 

    In a humble attempt, I’d like to say that I’m no expert on marriage or how my marriage in particular will turn out. I only know what I’ve lived for the last thirty days. That’s my experience, just as your own experience would be particular to you. But to those of you who just tied the knot like me, I want you to know three tips that I’ve found valuable over the last few weeks. In hopes that maybe they’ll help you, and in hopes that they will continue to grow and prosper within me. 

    1. Communication Is Everything

    When Ben and I first started dating many years ago, my Grandma Memo always told me, “Communication is everything.” Glancing between her and my Papa, I knew she was right. They’d married as high school sweethearts, and if anyone could make it to 84 and look as young and in love as them, I’d better start taking my lessons now. 

    Growing up, my mom’s grandparents were my second set of parents. And though I’ve moved out and now live on my own, I still consider them with that high esteem. Not only do they exude wisdom and honor, but they truly illustrate the love, knowledge, experience, and faithfulness that Scripture writes about in Proverbs 16:31 (NLT): “Gray hair is a crown of glory; it is gained by living a godly life.” 

    But beyond the godly life and excellence, my grandparents illustrate, it’s the honor they give and serve one another with that inspires me the most. Because for them, “Communication is everything,” and they truly live that out. 

    During the last thirty days, I can say with ease that marriage has been both what I expected and what I didn’t. Although I’m sure scholars will argue I’m wading honeymoon phase waters, I’d like to think that after five years of dating, Ben and I aren’t crazy surprised by the challenges that have come our way. 

    By emphasizing the value of communication, both my husband and I know that our problems will have a significantly higher probability of being resolved. And as our marital counselor has noted, marriage is about navigating and living with all the conflict that often has no solution. 

    Communication in marriage, I’ve learned, is less about being right, and more about taking the time to listen. So, when Ben and I start to discuss or communicate something sticky, we each make it a priority to listen to hear, not listen to respond. 

    Proverbs 18:13 (NLT) supports this point well, noting it’s shameful to speak without really hearing first: “Spouting off before listening to the facts is both shameful and foolish.”

    “Communication is everything” is valid not always because of what is said but because of what is heard. And if we strive to hear our spouse when they speak, rather than immediately correcting, trampling, rebuking, or ignoring their concerns, we will reap a far better reward. One that isn’t rooted in prideful ambitions of “being right,” but in what James 1:19 calls being “slow to speak,” and “quick to listen.”

    2. Remember to Laugh

    In the early stages of our dating relationship, Ben and I often struggled to have fun. Not because we weren’t capable or compatible, but because it was hard for two serious-about-life individuals to remember to let loose and have fun. 

    I wish I could say since marriage this wasn’t an issue for us, but if I’m honest, this is something we’ve continued to make a goal to improve continually. And Ecclesiastes 8:15-17 reminds me of this often: “So I recommend having fun, because there is nothing better for people in this world than to eat, drink, and enjoy life. That way they will experience some happiness along with all the hard work God gives them under the sun. In my search for wisdom and in my observation of people’s burdens here on earth, I discovered that there is ceaseless activity, day and night. I realized that no one can discover everything God is doing under the sun. Not even the wisest people discover everything, no matter what they claim” (Ecclesiastes 8:15-17, NLT).

    As work-driven individuals, both Ben and I have struggled in different ways to “Lighten up, Lucy,” a phrase my mom used to tell me as a teenager, and quite frankly, still uses often. Psalm 127:2 always convicts me of this: “It is useless for you to work so hard from early morning until late at night, anxiously working for food to eat; for God gives rest to his loved ones” (Psalm 127:2, NLT). 

    Nevertheless, Ben and I have made strides toward living a more laughter-filled, joyous life. And not because it sounds good or fun, but because we know God wants us to enjoy this beautiful life He’s blessed us with. Not only enjoying one another but basking in the presence of this thing called life we’re called to live. 

    Laughter is good medicine for the soul. And while it won’t cure everything, it might just bring what you need to your marriage. Proverbs 17:22: “A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a broken spirit saps a person’s strength” (NLT). 

    3. Pray Through the Struggles

    It would be naive for me to write this post without mentioning that your first month of marriage may include some bumps and hiccups along the way. Because the fact of the matter is, that’s honestly just reality. Getting used to living with a member of the opposite sex for the first time in your life can be overwhelming. Guys aren’t like girls, and girls aren’t like guys! And for me, this has probably been the biggest adjustment in my life. 

    But no matter what challenges have come our way, Ben and I have not only committed to communicating and laughing with each other and the Lord, but we’re committed to praying through the struggles as they come. 

    When Ben and I were in pre-engagement counseling, our awesome teachers told us to catch the little foxes and pray often. Song of Solomon 2:15 references this: “Catch all the foxes, those little foxes, before they ruin the vineyard of love, for the grapevines are blossoming” (NLT). The Passion Translation writes it this way: “You must catch the troubling foxes, those sly little foxes that hinder our relationship. For they raid our budding vineyard of love to ruin what I’ve planted within you. Will you catch them and remove them for me? We will do it together” (Song of Solomon 2:15).

    The reason I love the reminder to pray and catch these little foxes isn’t because it’s cool or sounds like a good idea, but because they stem from biblical advice. And biblical advice is always right. 

    As Christians, we’re told to never stop praying (1 Thessalonians 5:17). This doesn’t end when we enter into a covenant called marriage. And it certainly doesn’t end when things like sickness and mental health come knocking on our doors. 

    Just a day after Ben and I got married, we got a taste of what it means to pray through the struggle. Through sickness and in health, Ben helped me through chronic pain and anxiety, and I helped him through OCD spurts and questions. It wasn’t always pretty but it was certainly always prayerful. 

    If I’m sure of anything from the past month, it’s that marriage doesn’t solve all our problems or take away our pain. In some ways, it exasperates it when we learn to hold not only our sufferings but also our spouse’s. But that also means we get to share in and hold their joys.

    I still know relatively little about marriage. After all, I’m a married woman of almost thirty days! But I’m learning, growing, and praying through the process. And I hope you’ll join me.

    Agape, Amber 

    Photo Credit: ©GettyImages/Ridofranz

    Amber Ginter is a young adult writer that currently works as an English teacher in Chillicothe, Ohio, and has a passionate desire to impact the world for Jesus through her love for writing, aesthetics, health/fitness, and ministry. Amber seeks to proclaim her love for Christ and the Gospel through her writing, aesthetic worship arts, and volunteer roles. She is enrolled in the YWW Author Conservatory to become a full-time author and is a featured writer for Crosswalk, ibelieve, Salem Web Network, The Rebelution, Daughter of Delight, Kallos, Anchored Passion, No Small Life, and Darling Magazine. In the past, she’s also contributed to Called Christian Writers, Southern Ohio Today News, Ohio Christian University, and The Circleville Herald. Visit her website at amberginter.com.

    Amber Ginter

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  • Three Reasons I’m Glad I Saved My First Kiss for Marriage

    Three Reasons I’m Glad I Saved My First Kiss for Marriage

    In a quick Google search, it’s estimated that only about 18% of people save their first kiss for marriage. Concluding the number of weird looks Ben and I received leading up to our marriage, I suspect that number is even lower. As a teenager, I never went on a date. Partially because no one ever asked me out. Partly because I probably wasn’t ready, and the Lord knew best. I always prayed to date and marry one person. When Ben and I met, we weren’t a “love at first glance” couple. He loved Information Technology and video games. I loved to dance and all things aesthetic. He could be seen on the embarrassingly funny and nerdy ads for the college help desk, while I could run the trails and recruit dancers for my team. Before Ben knew what hit him, he was my dance partner. And before I knew what hit me, I was going on my first date with a guy I never thought about dating but whom I would eventually marry. 

    Five years later, on July 3rd, 2023, Ben and I got married. And on that day, we had our very first kiss. I think the people in the crowd were more anxious and excited than us at that moment! Nevertheless, saving that part of ourselves and the rest of our bodies was worth it, and I would love to share with you three benefits or reasons why.

    1. Saving your first kiss until marriage allows you to focus on friendship. 

    Flashback to 2017. The month was August, and the foyer of Ohio Christian University grew humid. Attempting to recruit dancers for my dance team, a friend I’d met the year before brought Ben to my table. “Are you interested in joining Movements From the Heart?” I asked confidently. His gaze barely met my vision. But before I could say anymore, he was gone. “That’s just Ben,” my friend consoled. He can be a bit shy. That’s okay, I thought. “You can meet him later,” she offered, filling the empty and awkward spaces with her voice. Less than a year later, I searched the university for mission trip companions. I never imagined meeting Ben yet again, but here I was, asking, “Have we met before? Aren’t you the guy who ran away from my dance table?” In the blink of an eye, Ben and I clicked. I’d surrendered my desire to be in a relationship with God, and Ben wasn’t looking for anything now. We’re safe, I thought. Little did I realize God was in control. 

    Flash forward to July 2018. Ben and I had been “talking” for a month, and by “talking,” I mean sending books of texts to each other every day. I’d never been pursued before, but I knew something about this was right. We decided to date but broke up in September because we couldn’t get along. On paper, he was the perfect match. I didn’t understand and was devastated. I even wrote a journal entry telling God I was sorry for praying to meet and marry one man and save my first kiss until marriage because it was stupid. But dear reader, please know that’s not true if this is you. It’s not impossible, and those dreams certainly aren’t stupid. God hears you, and they can come true. 

    Over the next few months, Ben and I remained in touch. He was in my dance group, but more than that, we began to foster friendship. Something we both missed the first time around. And as the laughter grew, so did the chemistry. By December 2018, we knew it was time to define the relationship and began dating again. Because Ben and I decided to save our first kiss until marriage, it helped us continually focus on our relationship’s friendship. While yes, there were many, many, many times we wanted to break that rule, holding off forced us to focus on what we would need every day for the rest of our lives: friendship. And that’s something we still believe to this day was worth it. 

    2. Saving your first kiss until marriage builds self-control and respect.

    I want to congratulate you if you’ve decided to save your first kiss until marriage, like Ben and I. It’s such a beautiful and God-honoring thing to do. However, I do want to note that it’s certainly not necessary. And certainly not easy. Many friends have kissed before marriage, and God loves them the same. Kissing before marriage isn’t a sin (unless it leads you into other things I’ll address in point 3) and can be fine for some couples. For Ben and I, however, saving our first kiss helped us to build respect and self-control for a lifetime. Because Ben and I had different struggles mentally and physically going into dating, we wanted to be attentive to one another’s needs. Removing physical expectations like kissing or having heated make-out sessions allowed us to exercise the fruits of the spirit and deeply love one another, not lust or infatuation, but in love. 

    It’s noted the honeymoon phase of dating lasts about a year, and then things start to go downhill. But I’m here to tell you that after five years of dating, though Ben and I had our mountains and valleys, not mixing any form of sexual intimacy helped us to know one another truly. If you asked Ben or me about our favorite thing to do together while dating, we would both tell you talking and hanging out. Because when you’re not making out for hours, you’re usually talking or hanging out (come on, you know I’m right). And that is certainly what arrives with marriage. Being transparent and open with my husband has only benefitted us on this new road we’re walking. And the same has gone for him. Not kissing until marriage allowed Ben and me time to learn and focus on each other. From behaviors to struggles and likes and dislikes, we became informed in various ways. 

    Suppose you’re going to wait until marriage. In that case, we recommend reading books like The Great Sex Rescue, Not Yet Married, The Mingling of Souls, and Getting Ready for Marriage and participating in pre-engagement counseling. Diving into deep questions before engagement or marriage will especially help in the challenging days to come. 

    3. Saving your first kiss until marriage can help reduce sexual temptation.

    The third benefit of saving your first kiss until marriage may seem obvious, but I still felt it was important to mention. As Christians, Ben and I both knew we wanted to save intimacy for marriage, not just because it sounded good but because we knew it was what God commanded of us. While God doesn’t condemn kissing before marriage, he does note sex is reserved for marriage. Unfortunately, whether we’d like to acknowledge it or not, kissing can open the gates to sexual intimacy—even for the best Christians. Of course, those around us didn’t understand. We were called petty, immature, stupid, and guaranteed to have a horrible wedding night (as if that was their business anyways). 

    While our first official kiss in front of the people at our wedding wasn’t magical and didn’t include fireworks, those first few kisses are memories I will hold in my heart for the rest of my life. Not because they were perfect or the most romantic thing in the world, but because they represented something special we could share together and honor God through. Saving your first kiss until marriage doesn’t make you a saint or a better Christian than anyone else. It also doesn’t mean you won’t still struggle with the same desires and temptations that those who kiss do. But if I could offer you one closing thought, it would be this: Saving your first kiss until marriage is a bittersweet gift. Sweet because it’s sacred, bitter because once it’s gone, it’s gone. You’ll never be able to replicate that moment again. But at the end of the day, it’ll be worth it. 

    Photo Credit: ©Getty Images/Vasil Dimitrov

    Amber Ginter is a young adult writer that currently works as an English teacher in Chillicothe, Ohio, and has a passionate desire to impact the world for Jesus through her love for writing, aesthetics, health/fitness, and ministry. Amber seeks to proclaim her love for Christ and the Gospel through her writing, aesthetic worship arts, and volunteer roles. She is enrolled in the YWW Author Conservatory to become a full-time author and is a featured writer for Crosswalk, ibelieve, Salem Web Network, The Rebelution, Daughter of Delight, Kallos, Anchored Passion, No Small Life, and Darling Magazine. In the past, she’s also contributed to Called Christian Writers, Southern Ohio Today News, Ohio Christian University, and The Circleville Herald. Visit her website at amberginter.com.

    Amber Ginter

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  • What God is Teaching Me about Getting Married

    What God is Teaching Me about Getting Married

    I’m getting married this week, and to say I’m overwhelmed is an understatement. From last-minute preparations to never-ending questions, I think my head might pop off. Nevertheless, the Lord is revealing something to me in this sweet season. And it’s something that I pray I never forget. 

    Growing up, I wasn’t the typical girl fascinated with boys, makeup, and showy clothes. Honestly, I was the nerdy girl, obsessed with the latest novels, writing prompts, and aesthetic activities. And to this day, I rarely wear makeup or concern myself with such affairs. Life is too short to cover up your face, disguising what you truly look like. But in High School, I tried to change how I looked and acted because I wanted someone to like me. Not only did I start wearing makeup, but I cared entirely too much about my clothes, appearance, and worldly means. I was still a nerd, but I was a nerd trying to be someone and something she wasn’t. 

    For years I battled this demon—the demon of pretending to be someone you’re not. I couldn’t understand why the guy I liked didn’t like me back. And no matter how hard I tried or what I did, it was no use. I was single and mateless, just like all the discarded and lost soles in your laundry room. I understand now that the Lord was teaching me a lesson I wouldn’t understand until many years later.  

    The Height of Longings

    When I entered college, I stopped wearing makeup and clothes I thought others would like and tried being myself. When I reached 21 and had never been on a date, I started to fall back into my old ways. Every time I liked a guy, I attempted to pursue them. I’d bake them cookies, write kind notes, or offer to help them with homework. I genuinely meant the actions, but time and time again, I was friend-zoned. 

    I reached my breaking point near the end of my fourth year of college. All my friends were graduating, but because my degree was new to the school, I was forced to take an extra year of classes. Not only did I feel alone and fearful, but I honestly started to wonder what was wrong with me. On the outside, I was thriving. I’d started a dance ministry at the college, volunteered in numerous ministries, hosted Bible studies, was a small group leader, and was involved with a large friend group. But underneath that was a girl constantly wondering if she’d ever be enough for someone. Anyone. 

    The Grace of Waiting

    At twenty-twenty-two years old, I looked a dear friend in the eyes and told her how I felt. She asked me if I’d ever surrendered those longings to the Lord. Of course, I muttered. I was a Christian, so I’d certainly done that. But the longer I stared at her, the more I realized the depth of her words. 

    That day, I surrendered my desires to God. And despite the years I’d spent crying and praying on my bedroom floor, I felt peace that day. Not because I thought God would put me in a relationship but because I trusted Him even if He didn’t. I knew that single or not, God had and would fulfill His promises to me. He would not leave me broken and void of feeling, regardless of my relationship status. Not even one week later, I met my soon-to-be husband. Though at the time, I was certainly not interested. 

    After giving God my desire to be in a relationship, I was focused on attending a mission trip He’d called me to go on. No matter what, I vowed to stay focused, pursue the Lord’s call, and serve Him on this adventure. When I was notified that all the female slots on the trip were full and that I’d need a male to travel with me, I was dumbfounded. I was friends with a lot of people, but talking to and convincing a guy to attend a mission trip with me for no other reason than serving God seemed a bit far-fetched. Nevertheless, I prayed, prayed, and prayed some more. 

    A Promise Fulfilled

    In less than one month until the trip, God brought Ben into my life. My dance partner, also a male, had already committed to going on the trip with me, but I wanted two to feel safe. If I was going to travel across the globe, I was going to have ammo! Ben and I were polar opposites. He was the IT nerd of the school, and I was the dance captain. He was introverted and awkward. I was extraverted and confident. He found leisure in sports, video games, and nature. I despised two of those three things. But as we prepared for the trip, Ben and I found a connection with the Lord. I was impressed with his commitment to God, and He was surprised my faith was so genuine. Attending a Christian college, you’d assume everyone you meet is authentic. Unfortunately, that often wasn’t the case. 

    By the time the trip rolled around, I thought Ben was interested in me but was in denial. I told God countless times, “I don’t care if he likes me; I am focusing on you and this trip. I will not get distracted by a boy.” I hated the old adage, “When you’re not looking for it, that’s when love will hit you.” I equally rolled my eyes every time it was suggested to me. Yet that’s exactly what happened. 

    When You Question the Plan

    Shortly after returning from our mission trip, Ben asked me out. He was my first date, my first boyfriend, and the first guy to express interest in and genuinely pursue me. I didn’t need to chase him. I didn’t need to prove my worth. And I didn’t need to pretend to be someone I wasn’t. After just a few months, however, our sparks fizzled out. Our Fourth of July love seemed to be a fluke, and I was crushed that I’d prayed to God to date and marry one person yet was now breaking up with them. I told God I was stupid and sorry. I must’ve had it all wrong. Maybe I wasn’t ready for this after all. 

    Over the next month, Ben and I remained friends but kept our distance. I knew he was still in love with me, but every time we hung out, I was greeted by a different version of Ben than he thought I’d like. Remember when I mentioned the irony of my High School impression age? He was cute, kind, and faithful to God, but I didn’t know the real him. I knew we needed space. As November of that year morphed into December, the change of seasons also brought a change in me. I never imagined Ben and I would get back together, yet here we are. Because once he was himself, I fell in love. And so did he. Not for the love of perfection but for the love of two imperfect people being themselves, learning to love one another in the Lord. 

    July 2023 marks a little over five years since we first met. Our wedding is utterly the fulfillment of a promise that I prayed for over thirteen years to come true. Over the years, I doubted God would hear my prayer and answer me. You can imagine my face when Ben and I made the leap to get back together. And yet, here I am, about to marry the only man I’ve ever dated, because that was what I prayed for. 

    The Goodness of God

    While last-minute wedding preparations still threaten to overwhelm my mind, I write this post to praise God for His overwhelming goodness in my life. And as excited as I am for this journey of marriage, I know that it’s just the beginning of His marvelous plans for me. My love story is one that I never could’ve conjured up. It’s not what I expected. It’s not what I had in mind. But it’s so much more. It’s everything He knew I needed. And then more. It’s more than I could ask, think, pray, or imagine, and I’m grateful.

    As the to-do’s pile up, I want to never forget the goodness of God that has been written in my life since day one. This marriage and covenant we’re about to enter is just one of His many promises being fulfilled. Marriage is often placed on a pedestal. I suppose that’s why one would recognize the faithfulness of God in something majorly broadcasted to the bulk of society. But marriage or not, I want to learn to recognize the goodness of God in every area of life. Especially the small and mundane ones we miss every single day. 

    • The kisses my dog Lucky greets me with after a long and hard day. 
    • The gentle breeze of air amid the harsh and striking sun. 
    • The small talk I share with the allergists who give me my weekly shots. 
    • The pain I endure reminds me that this is not my home.

    Each of those things reflects the goodness of God just as much as my upcoming marriage. They are not special but because God is good in all He does. And while marriage is a big deal that symbolizes Christ and the Church, a sacred and holy covenant, it’s not everything. God is good in all. Faithful in all. And marriage is just one of His many blessings.

    Photo Credit: ©Getty Images/bfk92

    Amber Ginter is a young adult writer that currently works as an English teacher in Chillicothe, Ohio, and has a passionate desire to impact the world for Jesus through her love for writing, aesthetics, health/fitness, and ministry. Amber seeks to proclaim her love for Christ and the Gospel through her writing, aesthetic worship arts, and volunteer roles. She is enrolled in the YWW Author Conservatory to become a full-time author and is a featured writer for Crosswalk, ibelieve, Salem Web Network, The Rebelution, Daughter of Delight, Kallos, Anchored Passion, No Small Life, and Darling Magazine. In the past, she’s also contributed to Called Christian Writers, Southern Ohio Today News, Ohio Christian University, and The Circleville Herald. Visit her website at amberginter.com.

    Amber Ginter

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  • Kill Them with Kindness

    Kill Them with Kindness

    “Kind words are like honey—sweet to the soul and healthy for the body” (Proverbs 16:24 NLT).

    “Miss. Ginter is a hypocrite.” The survey form mocked me in the reflection of a glaring computer screen. 

    Despite the 140+ positive reflections of my class, I couldn’t shake that one comment: “Miss. Ginter is a hypocrite.”

    With just two days of school left for students, my heart sank. I tried so hard for one-hundred-and-eighty days to get one-hundred-and-fifteen sophomores to feel loved, valued, and seen in my class. And yet, one felt I was a hypocrite. That one took me to my knees.

    In between watching a film and passing out individual notes, I’d written for every student, I made an effort to make amends with this student. I didn’t know what I’d done wrong. In fact, I spent the entire year thinking they liked me and my class. But nevertheless, I wanted an answer to such a harsh critique. 

    With the courage and confidence I had left, I asked them to chat in the hallway.

    Clarity in Conversation

    “Is this about your end-of-the-year survey?” they questioned, crossing their arms as if they needed to defend themselves.

    “It is,” I spoke calmly. Offering a gentle smile. A peace offering. Anything to make this wrong, I’d supposedly committed, right. 

    “Well, I said you’re a hypocrite because you told us you didn’t believe in giving us a lot of homework, and yet I had homework often. I’ve been so stressed out because there’s too much work to do,” their anger became visible. A scornful scoul and clenched fists erupted. 

    After a nearly ten-minute conversation and apology (on my end), I sought to understand and hear them. To know what had upset them to the point that they would call me a “hypocrite.”

    The Power of Kindness

    I tell this story not for you to think ill of this student, or to feel remorse for me, but to illustrate a point. A point that Proverbs 16:24 illustrates beautifully. 

    Just a few minutes prior to chatting with this student, I gave them their individual note. Of course, I’d written it prior to reading that they believed I was a hypocrite, so it gleamed how proud I was of them. How dedicated I saw their attendance in Bible Study, how hard they worked, and how kind their constant disposition was. Trust me when I say that placing this note of kindness on their desk felt like pouring salt on an open wound. 

    But you know what? I would do it all over again.

    While I do not feel that I intentionally did this student wrong, nor do I feel they were accurate or honest in calling me a hypocrite, I can honestly say it’s probably a moment in my life that I will never forget. 

    Do You Care Enough?

    Although I often don’t care what other people think of me (in the sense of acknowledging that not everyone will like me, and that’s okay), I do care that the kids I teach see Christ in me (yes, I work in a public school, and yes, I still make it known). In fact, at the beginning and end of every school year, I directly state that I care more about each of them as individuals than I do about them as students in my class. And I genuinely mean that.

    Obviously, every teacher wants her students to succeed. If every student in my English class had an “A,” I’m sure the administration would be thrilled. So would I. But beyond academics, the life of a student is a life I have the opportunity to change. And more so, Christ can change them through me. 

    Many of you reading this post aren’t teachers. But I guarantee that you can relate in some way. Young adults are the next step of a new generation, and you better believe I will do anything I can (through Christ) to make them know that they are loved, chosen, safe, and cared for by Someone who died to know them.

    The Reward of Kindness

    About an hour after this difficult conversation with the student who called me a hypocrite, I felt better. Although I don’t think their view of me changed, I made it known that I was deeply sorry for hurting them and did indeed care about them and their future. And in a bittersweet turn of events, I received the following note in my inbox from a different student:

    “Miss. Ginter, I can truthfully say that I am so glad that I had you as my English teacher this year. In general, you can tell you’re a really good person, trustworthy, kind, and truly the best teacher any student could ask for. To be honest, I’m not really the best Christian; I’m not one at all. I used to be and I’m trying to get back to it. I can thank you for that. From the very beginning of the school year you told us you were a Christian and you can see that. You’re so alive in a way, more than I have seen anyone in a very long time. So I’ve started going to Church. I wanted to say thank you. I will never forget you.”

    *This note has been modified to protect the identity and privacy of my students.

    I held back tears. 

    “Thank you, God,” was all that could escape my lips. 

    It’s been a week since I read those two notes, but my heart still feels the same. I’m blessed and honored to teach the student who called me a hypocrite, and I’m blessed and honored to teach the one who said they’d never forget me. Both are young adults that walked into my classroom nearly a year ago, not knowing what the world would hold, and both are ones I still wish the greatest success as they grow and mature. 

    If I’ve learned anything in my four years of teaching, it would be this: 

    Teenagers won’t remember the stunning outfits you poised together every single day. 

    They will remember the days you came to class sick or you accidentally caught a book on fire and had to tell the principal. 

    Teenagers won’t remember the regulated assessments you were forced to give to measure high-quality student data or prepare them for the state test. 

    But they will remember the humor you used in making fun of yourself in preparing them along the way. 

    Teenagers won’t remember all the grammar, books, or vocabulary words you made them memorize, even as interesting or fun as you tried to make them.

    But teenagers will always remember the time you took out of your day to listen to them, whether it was for five seconds or five minutes. They will always remember the laughs you shared, the kindness you offered, and the love you endlessly gave, regardless of if they liked you or your class or not. 

    And why? Because any kindness, love, or laughter you’ve given them has come from the Source of life, love, and gratitude within you. We’re only able to give what we’ve already been given, so why would we hold back those immeasurable gifts?

    There have been times in my years of teaching that I’ve questioned a lot of things. I still want to write full-time, so spending all my energy teaching is exhausting most days. But while I’m in this season, I’m reminded of God and His faithfulness to me:

    In the gentle smiles. 

    In the shared laughs.

    In the small talk.

    In serious conversations.

    And even in the turds.

    Especially the turds who like to cause havoc on already challenging days. 

    Why? Because Christ died for me while I was still a sinner. And that means He died for each of these children too (most of whom probably don’t know Him). 

    So while I’m teaching, I will die to myself. I will die to the comments that are kind but also the ones that aren’t. Jesus “killed” His enemies with kindness, not out of spite, vengeance, or to grab the upper hand, but so they may someday partake in a relationship with Him. Why shouldn’t I be willing to do the same?

    Agape, Amber 

    Photo Credit: ©Getty Images/Metkalova

    Amber Ginter is a young adult writer that currently works as an English teacher in Chillicothe, Ohio, and has a passionate desire to impact the world for Jesus through her love for writing, aesthetics, health/fitness, and ministry. Amber seeks to proclaim her love for Christ and the Gospel through her writing, aesthetic worship arts, and volunteer roles. She is enrolled in the YWW Author Conservatory to become a full-time author and is a featured writer for Crosswalk, ibelieve, Salem Web Network, The Rebelution, Daughter of Delight, Kallos, Anchored Passion, No Small Life, and Darling Magazine. In the past, she’s also contributed to Called Christian Writers, Southern Ohio Today News, Ohio Christian University, and The Circleville Herald. Visit her website at amberginter.com.

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  • 3 Things I Wish People Would Stop Telling Me About Getting Married

    3 Things I Wish People Would Stop Telling Me About Getting Married

    Seventy-five days remain until I change my name from Miss to Mrs. As chaos surrounds me, so do the blessings. I’m overwhelmed with the changes occurring in my life, but even more, I’m encapsulated by how much advice people share during this season. 

    When I was a little girl, I dreamed of finding my prince and riding off on a white horse into the sunset. It was a daydream, a fairytale that princesses and paupers alike envision… that is until they grow up. 

    During my teen years, I didn’t go on a single date. Some might call me a prude, but genuinely, no one ever asked me out! Probably because I was shy around boys, or acted like they were that freaky jumping spider you find in your bathroom and scream for someone else to come take care of! 

    All jokes aside, however, I know now that the Lord was saving and reserving my heart for someone special. A certain someone I would wait my entire life to date, and praise the Lord, then marry. 

    Small Beginnings

    I met Ben at the end of my fourth year of college. I didn’t know it then, but he would quickly become a part of my life for the next five years. He will now soon become a part of my life forever. 

    Our dating scenes weren’t always easy. They were certainly not what I envisioned as a little girl with her Prince Charming. But I can say with honor that he is everything and more I prayed for. He is the prince I envisioned waiting for, and the one with whom I will spend the rest of my days here on Earth. 

    The closer we get to our wedding date, the more my anxiety grows. Don’t get me wrong; I am ecstatic! Finding a place to live and making transitions to live with another human being is a joy I prayed for many years to encounter. But as the years grow into months and days until I say “I do,” I am also filled with normal insecurities and fears. I suppose many others in this season know exactly what I’m referring to. 

    In my questions and answers, there have been three pieces of marriage advice repeated over and over. And if these have been said to you, I want you to know that you’re not alone! 

    While the intentions behind these pieces of advice come from genuine care and concern, here’s what I wish people would stop telling me about getting married:

    1. Marriage Is Hard

    Practically speaking, I understand what someone means when they coin the phrase, “Marriage is hard.” I think as children, we grow up envisioning marriage as this far-off mystical land full of rainbows, sunshine, and puppy dogs. But as much as we know these things simply aren’t true, we can set ourselves up for disappointment. The first time he forgets to take out the trash or we get into a disagreement can stir heated tensions. 

    I’m not married yet, so I won’t pretend to know everything about this subject. However, I have grown up in a home violated by verbal and emotional abuse. When people tell me marriage is hard, all I can think about is the home I grew up seeing. 

    The slamming doors. The raging voices. Unresolved arguments tucked away for another day in hopes of resolution. To say I saw a chaotic and unhealthy marriage would be an understatement. I love both of my parents dearly. I know they’ve raised me the best they could. No one is perfect. Not even the best couples are. But I don’t need anyone else to tell me marriage is hard. 

    I know it won’t be sunshine and rainbows every day. I know it won’t always be easy. But because I’ve grown up seeing what marriage shouldn’t be, I do know an awful lot about what it should be. What it should look like. How it should look. What I will and will not put up with. 

    As my Grandma Memo once told me, “Marriage isn’t hard, Amber. At least, it shouldn’t be. Sure, it has its ups and downs. It’s disagreements and moments of agreeing to disagree. But marriage is good. A healthy marriage is about sacrifice and balance. It takes work. Patience. Love and forgiveness. But it isn’t hard.”

    2. You Will Have Fights

    The second piece of advice people love to share about preparing for marriage is the assumption that “you will have fights.” Now, this might just be a personal preference, but I believe telling someone they and their partner will have fights isn’t the most appropriate measure of love to share. 

    Again, I digress. I grew up in a fairly dysfunctional family. I know what unhealthy relationships and boundaries look like between men and women. Between power and authority of those who shouldn’t have any but do. And yet, this comment that my fiancé and I will have fights simply isn’t helpful. 

    I’m not naive as many may think. Even Paul in 1 Corinthians 7 gives instruction that marriage is not for everyone, and moments of discontent between a husband and wife are sure to arise. Although I’m engaged to Ben, we have had our share of arguments over the five years we’ve been together. Little “he said, she said” moments of despair that really weren’t that big of a deal. But even in our worst disagreements and heartbreaks, we haven’t fought. 

    Early on in our dating relationship, it felt like Ben and I had a DTR (define the relationship) moment every single week or month. It was exhausting, and we questioned the relationship a lot. But the one thing Ben and I now value most about our relationship is the resilience, patience, and love Christ has enabled us to grow through within this experience. 

    Yes, Ben and I will continue to have things we disagree on often. Every couple does. But what matters is our resilience and drive to resolve these issues. We have a promise we’ve made to each other and God that when we have a problem, we tell each other. Not someone else. Not a family member, but we talk to each other. Once we’ve shed light on the subject, we then take the time to talk about it and listen to the other person’s perspective. No yelling. No slamming doors. No raising our voices. No throwing things or hitting the other person. 

    At the end of the day, there are still many things we have to simply agree to disagree about. This was another piece of advice Grandma gave me that I cling to often. But God never said we had to agree 100% of the time with the person we marry. He said that we need to cherish them with love and care like they were our own bodies. I’m still learning how to do this well, but I’m confident that if we keep Christ at the center of our relationship and remember who the true enemy of our problems is (Satan, not each other), we will avoid many quarrels. 

    3. The First Year of Marriage Is The Hardest

    The final piece of unwarranted advice that I wish people would stop saying about marriage is that “the first year is the hardest.” Granted, I’ve never been married. I don’t know and won’t pretend to know what this experience is going to be like. But as someone with anxiety and depression, I’m sure it’ll continue to be overwhelming and exciting. 

    The assumption that the first year of marriage will be the hardest comes from the belief that two people are merging their lives together for the first time. Since Ben and I are Christians and have always lived at home with our families (even commuting to and from college this way), it’s sure to be a wake-up call. Most days, I’m not sure I’m prepared for living with the opposite species and how he will act. I’m sure Ben would say the same about living with a female who’s emotional and cries most days.

    Nevertheless, I know that the path we’ve pursued is God’s plan, and He will bless our lives. We’ve chosen to pursue our marriage the right way. We’ve never lived together and won’t until our vows have been said, rings are placed, and our promise to God is presented before mankind. But I would rather choose honor to God than comfort to man. I would rather be surprised when I get married than dishonor God just to seek something unknown. 

    Over the last five years, Ben and I have experienced a lot of really hard things. I’m tempted to say they are things many couples still haven’t faced. Everyone has their unique battles and challenges. But only God truly knows our story and where it’s headed. Only God knows how the rest of our lives will unfold. 

    I presume that Ben and I will face many challenges in the first year of marriage. But it’s accurate to say we probably will every single year. I don’t necessarily think one can outweigh the other as long as resilience, grace, love, and forgiveness pave the way.

    Seventy-five days feel like a long time now, but I know it’ll fade quickly. And soon, I’ll tread deep into waters I know relatively little about. I have my preconceived notions and ideals, but there’s only so much you can prepare for without experience. 

    For all of you friends in this similar season, know I see you and stand with you. But please don’t be afraid. Only you, your partner-to-be, and God know how everything pan out. And with Christ on your side and within your relationship, you will conquer even the most unknown and uncertain circumstances. 

    Be blessed today and forevermore, knowing that Someone who died to love you is preparing you for an eternity of love here on Earth and in Heaven. Regardless of the advice you’ve been told. Regardless of things that have been said, but probably shouldn’t. 

    Agape, Amber

    Photo Credit: ©Pixabay/Pexels

    Amber Ginter is a young adult writer that currently works as an English teacher in Chillicothe, Ohio, and has a passionate desire to impact the world for Jesus through her love for writing, aesthetics, health/fitness, and ministry. Amber seeks to proclaim her love for Christ and the Gospel through her writing, aesthetic worship arts, and volunteer roles. She is enrolled in the YWW Author Conservatory to become a full-time author and is a featured writer for Crosswalk, ibelieve, Salem Web Network, The Rebelution, Daughter of Delight, Kallos, Anchored Passion, No Small Life, and Darling Magazine. In the past, she’s also contributed to Called Christian Writers, Southern Ohio Today News, Ohio Christian University, and The Circleville Herald. Visit her website at amberginter.com.

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  • The Blessing of Blessing Others

    The Blessing of Blessing Others

    From an early age, Mom and Grandma taught me the importance of blessing others without getting something in return. Every week, or every other week without fail, we’d topple into the car, drive to town, and find random people to bless. 

    Sometimes, it was the homeless person standing outside our car window. Others, it was the man in need inside a nursing home. Most days, it was a friend, family, or stranger who simply needed to be cheered up. 

    As I grew, I took this habit with me. In high school, I’d leave notes for teachers and my closest friends. I made it my ambition to forego selfish desires and use any funds I had to purchase gifts for others. People generally didn’t understand it. Sometimes, neither did I. 

    When I reached college, I followed suit. The remarks I often received were striking. People started to question my motives and intentions. I felt hurt. Why couldn’t others understand that I wanted nothing from them? Why couldn’t others understand that I was just trying to represent Jesus in a dark world?

    Today, I often face the same remarks. 

    As a twenty-something adolescent, I’m enrolled in a program to become a full-time author. One of the perks of the coursework is that it focuses on building others up by blessing them. For the last 150 days, we’ve been challenged to bless without expecting anything in return. The results have been astounding. 

    What the Bible Says About Blessing Others

    But should I be shocked? Scripture tells us this: “A generous person will prosper; whoever refreshes others will be refreshed. People curse the one who hoards grain, but they pray God’s blessing on the one who is willing to sell” (Proverbs 11:25-16, NIV). 

    Matthew 25 takes this verse a step further in the parable of the three servants: 

    “Again, the Kingdom of Heaven can be illustrated by the story of a man going on a long trip. He called together his servants and entrusted his money to them while he was gone. He gave five bags of silver to one, two bags of silver to another, and one bag of silver to the last—dividing it in proportion to their abilities. He then left on his trip. “The servant who received the five bags of silver began to invest the money and earned five more. The servant with two bags of silver also went to work and earned two more. But the servant who received the one bag of silver dug a hole in the ground and hid the master’s money.”

    Notice that God gives each man a different amount of silver, but each is entrusted with something. God knew then and knows now what we can handle. But beyond what we’re given is what we do with what we’ve received.

    “After a long time, their master returned from his trip and called them to give an account of how they had used his money. The servant to whom he had entrusted the five bags of silver came forward with five more and said, ‘Master, you gave me five bags of silver to invest, and I have earned five more.’ “The master was full of praise. ‘Well done, my good and faithful servant. You have been faithful in handling this small amount, so now I will give you many more responsibilities. Let’s celebrate together! “The servant who had received the two bags of silver came forward and said, ‘Master, you gave me two bags of silver to invest, and I have earned two more.’ “The master said, ‘Well done, my good and faithful servant. You have been faithful in handling this small amount, so now I will give you many more responsibilities. Let’s celebrate together!’

    Would you have earned five more bags? Maybe even two? What about today? Do you give what you have been given? Do you use the gifts God’s given you to produce and reap more for His harvest? Or do you waste your gifts? Do you waste your time? Are you stingy with your money? Does your bank account define your heart? 

    “Then the servant with the one bag of silver came and said, ‘Master, I knew you were a harsh man, harvesting crops you didn’t plant and gathering crops you didn’t cultivate. I was afraid I would lose your money, so I hid it on the earth. Look, here is your money back.’ “But the master replied, ‘You wicked and lazy servant! If you knew I harvested crops I didn’t plant and gathered crops I didn’t cultivate, why didn’t you deposit my money in the bank? At least I could have gotten some interest on it.’ “Then he ordered, ‘Take the money from this servant and give it to the one with the ten bags of silver. To those who use well what they are given, even more, will be given, and they will have an abundance. But from those who do nothing, even what little they have will be taken away. Now throw this useless servant into outer darkness, where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth” (Matthew 25:14-30, NLT).

    While it’s an extensive passage, Scripture is clear. We, as Christians, are called to not only bless others with what we’ve been given but to use our gifts to turn people to the Kingdom of heaven. And how do we do this? By blessing others. In any way, shape, or form we can. As the Passion Translation interprets:

    While it’s an extensive passage, Scripture is clear. We, as Christians, are called to not only bless others with what we’ve been given but to use our gifts to turn people to the Kingdom of heaven. And how do we do this? By blessing others. In any way, shape, or form we see fit. As the Passion Translation interprets: 

    “Then the King will turn to those on his right and say, ‘You have a special place in my Father’s heart. Come and experience the full inheritance of the kingdom realm that has been destined for you from before the foundation of the world! For when you saw me hungry, you fed me. When you found me thirsty, you gave me a drink. When I had no place to stay, you invited me in, and when I was poorly clothed, you covered me. When I was sick, you tenderly cared for me, and when I was in prison you visited me.’ “Then the godly will answer him, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry or thirsty and give you food and something to drink? When did we see you with no place to stay and invite you in? When did we see you poorly clothed and cover you? When did we see you sick and tenderly care for you, or in prison and visit you?’ “And the King will answer them, ‘Don’t you know? When you cared for one of the least of these, my little ones, my true brothers and sisters, you demonstrated love for me’” (Matthew 25:34-40, The Passion Translation). 

    Looking Back at Blessings

    Over the last 150 days, I’ve received countless emails from people who read my blogs. I’ve also received immense encouragement and affirmation from those who support me. 

    God has continually surprised and blessed me financially, spiritually, emotionally, and relationally. Always in ways I didn’t see. Always in manners I would never expect. But He is faithful. 

    And really, I shouldn’t be surprised. Yet, here I am. Humbled and at a loss for words for how He continually provides for me. Because any good thing I do is Him. It’s His Spirit within me, and I will give all glory to God. 

    Blessing other people comes from Him. 

    And there is such a rich blessing in blessing others. 

    “Give generously and generous gifts will be given back to you, shaken down to make room for more. Abundant gifts will pour out upon you with such an overflowing measure that they will run over the top! The measurement of your generosity becomes the measurement of your return” (Luke 6:38, The Passion Translation).

    Let it be clear: We don’t give to receive. We give to become more like Jesus. We give to represent Him. And no matter how we give or what we choose to give, we are obeying the two most important commands: Love God and love others. 

    “So this is my command: Love each other deeply, as much as I have loved you. For the greatest love of all is a love that sacrifices all. And this great love is demonstrated when a person sacrifices his life for his friends” (John 15:12-14, The Passion Translation).  

    It will be judged by the world. 

    They will not understand it. 

    But give anyway.

    Bless anyway.

    And keep on giving. 

    Those who don’t get it don’t get Him.

    It’s our job to help them meet Him.

    Agape, Amber

    Photo Credit: ©iStock/Getty Images Plus/Ridofranz

    Amber Ginter is a young adult writer that currently works as an English teacher in Chillicothe, Ohio, and has a passionate desire to impact the world for Jesus through her love for writing, aesthetics, health/fitness, and ministry. Amber seeks to proclaim her love for Christ and the Gospel through her writing, aesthetic worship arts, and volunteer roles. She is enrolled in the YWW Author Conservatory to become a full-time author and is a featured writer for Crosswalk, ibelieve, Salem Web Network, The Rebelution, Daughter of Delight, Kallos, Anchored Passion, No Small Life, and Darling Magazine. In the past, she’s also contributed to Called Christian Writers, Southern Ohio Today News, Ohio Christian University, and The Circleville Herald. Visit her website at amberginter.com.

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  • What I Wish Someone Would’ve Told Me About Falling in Love

    What I Wish Someone Would’ve Told Me About Falling in Love

    As a little girl, I grew up watching Disney princesses and Hallmark movies. From princes and princesses to kings and queens, I quickly built up the idea that when I reached maturity, I would fall in love by accident and live happily ever after. Little did I realize as a child, however, that love rarely happens like in the movies. And there were many things I wish someone would’ve told me about falling in love before I did. 

    At twenty-one, I remember crying on my floor because I was single. In fact, I cried so much that a water stain was actually visible on my wood flooring. But in that season, before I was ever in a relationship, I truly believe the Lord was preparing my heart and making room for real love to grow.

    When I met my now fiance a mere year later, there were three things I learned about love. While it has now been almost five years since we met, each one is still applicable and worth sharing:

    While this might seem like a given, one thing that surprised me about love when I first started dating is that love is an action. 1 Corinthians 13 explains to us that love is patient, kind, and forgiving. But it is easy to read that verse and subtract the application from it. Apart from the application, love seems easy. It is a feel-good feeling that we want more of, butterflies and warm fuzzies included. But as the Passion Translation writes, love requires much more serious work and action than we might want to let on:

    “Love is large and incredibly patient. Love is gentle and consistently kind to all. It refuses to be jealous when blessing comes to someone else. Love does not brag about one’s achievements nor inflate its own importance. Love does not traffic in shame and disrespect, nor selfishly seek its own honor. Love is not easily irritated or quick to take offense. Love joyfully celebrates honesty and finds no delight in what is wrong. Love is a safe place of shelter, for it never stops believing the best for others. Love never takes failure as defeat, for it never gives up. Love never stops loving. It extends beyond the gift of prophecy, which eventually fades away. It is more enduring than tongues, which will one day fall silent. Love remains long after words of knowledge are forgotten. Our present knowledge and our prophecies are but partial, but when love’s perfection arrives, the partial will fade away” (1 Corinthians 13:4-10).

    Despite common misconception, love, by God’s definition, is an action verb, not a passive noun. And if God is Love (noun) (1 John 4:7-21), Love is not only an ever-lasting person but an active pursuit of passion. 

    Perhaps the greatest demonstration of love was when Love Himself sent His Son to die on the cross for our sins, knowing that we might never love Him back. And we could certainly never repay Him. Real love isn’t concerned with him or herself but with others. And the moment love is isolated to feeling and subtracted from action, it simply isn’t love. 

    Jesus kept this simple when He said in 1 John 3:18 “Dear children, let us not love with words or speech but with actions and in truth” (1 John 3:18, NIV). And He does so by leading by His example: “This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers and sisters. If anyone has material possessions and sees a brother or sister in need but has no pity on them, how can the love of God be in that person?” (1 John 3:16-17, NIV). 

    Jesus never asks us to do something that He Himself hasn’t already done or given us. Why would we expect anything less? Why, then, would we not selflessly give love and lavish it upon others?

    2. Love Takes Work

    Once the honeymoon phase of infatuation wore off, I quickly realized that love is not only an action but takes a lot of work. And especially once Ben and I started to open up and be real with each other, it was evident that our love was going to take patience, persistence, and lots of resilience. 

    Many of you may roll your eyes at this if you’ve been dating for any period of time, but you and your significant other are going to have disagreements. No matter how great the other person may be, they are not a carbon copy of you! And chances are, that means you will disagree on something eventually. 

    When this happens, it is important that we remember what Jesus said about disagreements. To be quick to listen and slow to speak, but to also never go to bed angry:

    “My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires. Therefore, get rid of all moral filth and the evil that is so prevalent and humbly accept the word planted in you, which can save you” (James 1:19-21, NIV). 

    He also noted that if you were in the middle of giving an offering to God and remembered that you had an offense with someone, it was more important to seek restitution with that person first. The Message paraphrases it this way:

    “This is how I want you to conduct yourself in these matters. If you enter your place of worship and, about to make an offering, you suddenly remember a grudge a friend has against you, abandon your offering, leave immediately, go to this friend and make things right. Then and only then, come back and work things out with God” (Matthew 5:23-24). 

    Clearly, Scripture reveals to us that love takes work from both parties. It is not always easy to love. But it is always worth it. 

    3. Love Is Not for Our Mere Satisfaction

    Whether we’d like to admit it or not, the act of loving another human being is not for our mere satisfaction. And as harsh as it might sound, marriage, love, and relationships were not solely created to please our inherently selfish pre-dispositions. Romans 3:23 reminds us that all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God. This means that when we love, our inherent nature is not always geared towards what we can give others but what we ourselves will receive.

    One of the best Scriptures in the Bible that talks about this type of love is ultimately when Jesus died for us (Matthew 27:32-56). Nothing about the death of Jesus was pleasant. And while Jesus trusted God to live in eternity, I cannot fathom the pain He endured as the sins of the world were placed upon His frame. He truly loved not for a love He would receive back but a love He was willing to die to give. 

    In John 21, beginning in verse 15, Jesus illustrates this love with Simon Peter when he asks him, “Do you love me?” three times, changing agape (sacrificial love) to philio (friendship). Even when Jesus asked Peter for sacrificial love, and all he was willing to give was friendship love, Jesus went to Him. He changed His expectations of love. And He loved Him anyway. 

    “After they had breakfast, Jesus said to Peter, “Simon, son of Jonah, do you burn with love for me more than these?” Peter answered, “Yes, Lord! You know that I have great affection for you!” “Then take care of my lambs,” Jesus said. Jesus repeated his question the second time, “Simon, son of Jonah, do you burn with love for me?” Peter answered, “Yes, my Lord! You know that I have great affection for you!” “Then take care of my sheep,” Jesus said. Then Jesus asked him again, “Peter, son of Jonah, do you have great affection for me?” Peter was saddened by being asked the third time and said, “My Lord, you know everything. You know that I burn with love for you!” Jesus replied, “Then feed my lambs” (John 21:15-17, TPT)!

    Today, it is my prayer that when you love, you will seek to embody all that Love Himself has already given us. It may be an action, take work, and require us to look beyond ourselves, but in doing so, it will exemplify the Love of Christ it was always meant to represent. 

    Agape, Amber

    Photo Credit: ©GettyImages/jacoblund

    Amber Ginter is a young adult writer that currently works as an English teacher in Chillicothe, Ohio, and has a passionate desire to impact the world for Jesus through her love for writing, aesthetics, health/fitness, and ministry. Amber seeks to proclaim her love for Christ and the Gospel through her writing, aesthetic worship arts, and volunteer roles. She is enrolled in the YWW Author Conservatory to become a full-time author and is a featured writer for Crosswalk, ibelieve, Salem Web Network, The Rebelution, Daughter of Delight, Kallos, Anchored Passion, No Small Life, and Darling Magazine. In the past, she’s also contributed to Called Christian Writers, Southern Ohio Today News, Ohio Christian University, and The Circleville Herald. Visit her website at amberginter.com.

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  • The Wisdom of Elders

    The Wisdom of Elders

    During my college years, I was one of the most involved students on campus. From working in the Writing Center to being a reporter for the school, and local city, my work life was busy. However, so was my personal life. I led the Dance Team, helped with two to three worship teams at a time, invested in running and working out, had field experience for teaching, and was eventually student-teaching. I somehow managed to snatch my first boyfriend, too! 

    On the outside, I was thriving. Everyone saw me as happy-go-lucky. Joy exuded from my presence, and I loved life. I was happy, carefree, and passionate. But over time, I grew weary. And my Grandma was someone who saw this first.

    “You need to take a break, Amber.” Her soft lips spoke what I didn’t want to hear. 

    “I think you are over-extending yourself, and [you’re] too busy. You need some time for yourself. I’m afraid you’re going to eventually burn yourself out.” Her words muffled over my ignorance to listen. 

    I was set in my ways. 

    I was also in denial. 

    The Error in Ignorance

    At the time, I truly did not believe her. I was busy and stressed, but I loved it. That’s just who I was. But looking back now, I am ashamed to admit that she was right, and I wish I would have listened to her sooner. 

    Today, I am a twenty-seven-year-old girl who feels like she’s surviving rather than thriving. I have been diagnosed with nearly half a dozen mental and physical health conditions, and I can’t help but think if I would’ve listened to the wisdom of my Grandma when I had the chance, my life would look much different. 

    In Exodus 18, I believe that Moses’ interactions with his father-in-law, Jethro, teach us a similar lesson:

    The Fruit in Obedience

    After leading the Israelites through the Red Sea and freeing them from Pharaoh’s wrath, Moses is called to be the leader of these people. And Jethro, his Father-In-Law, saw this:

    “Now Jethro, the priest of Midian and father-in-law of Moses, heard of everything God had done for Moses and for his people Israel, and how the Lord had brought Israel out of Egypt. After Moses had sent away his wife Zipporah, his father-in-law Jethro received her and her two sons. One son was named Gershom, for Moses said, “I have become a foreigner in a foreign land”; and the other was named Eliezer, for he said, “My father’s God was my helper; he saved me from the sword of Pharaoh.” Jethro, Moses’ father-in-law, together with Moses’ sons and wife, came to him in the wilderness, where he was camped near the mountain of God. Jethro had sent word to him, “I, your father-in-law Jethro, am coming to you with your wife and her two sons” (Exodus 18:1-6, New International Version). 

    But upon his arrival, Jethro becomes concerned. 

    Moses is certainly leading the people. But he’s also the only one handling their additional affairs. And to me, that sounds a bit exhausting, and a bit like teaching or running on empty 365 days a year.

    “The next day Moses took his seat to serve as judge for the people, and they stood around him from morning till evening. When his father-in-law saw all that Moses was doing for the people, he said, “What is this you are doing for the people? Why do you alone sit as judge, while all these people stand around you from morning till evening?” Moses answered him, “Because the people come to me to seek God’s will. Whenever they have a dispute, it is brought to me, and I decide between the parties and inform them of God’s decrees and instructions” (Exodus 18:13-16, New International Version). 

    In my mind, I picture many of the conversations:

    The Weight in Responsibility

    “Moses, Bob’s cow stepped on my sheep, and now both have injuries. What do we do?”

    “Moses, Sara ate my extra portion of food. How is that fair?”

    “Moses, my family sinned today. How many offerings and sacrifices do we need to bring?”

    “Moses..” the list grows on as his mind grows fuzzy. And in an odd sense, I can relate to this moment.

    “Amber, did you write that article?” my boss would question.

    “Amber, we need you to work another shift.” the Writing Center would request.

    “Amber, our dances need some extra practice.” the dance team would note.

    “Amber, we need you at three additional teacher meetings after school.” the state would require.

    And just as Moses began to push on, so did I. But like my Grandma, Moses’ Father-In-Law grew concerned.

    “Moses’ father-in-law replied, “What you are doing is not good. 18 You and these people who come to you will only wear yourselves out. The work is too heavy for you; you cannot handle it alone. 19 Listen now to me and I will give you some advice, and may God be with you. You must be the people’s representative before God and bring their disputes to him. Teach them his decrees and instructions, and show them the way they are to live and how they are to behave. But select capable men from all the people—men who fear God, trustworthy men who hate dishonest gain—and appoint them as officials over thousands, hundreds, fifties and tens. Have them serve as judges for the people at all times, but have them bring every difficult case to you; the simple cases they can decide themselves. That will make your load lighter, because they will share it with you. If you do this and God so commands, you will be able to stand the strain, and all these people will go home satisfied” (Exodus 18:17-23, New International Version).

    The Gift of Wisdom

    At that moment, Moses had a choice: to listen to Jethro or to ignore his advice. And I believe there is a reason the Scriptures talk about learning wisdom from our elders. That there is victory in gray hair and learning from our experiences. 

    Perhaps that is why verse 24 reads as follows:

    “Moses listened to his father-in-law and did everything he said” (Exodus 18:24, New International Version). 

    Not only did Moses learn from Jethro and take his advice, but he was better off in doing so.

    “He chose capable men from all Israel and made them leaders of the people, officials over thousands, hundreds, fifties and tens. They served as judges for the people at all times. The difficult cases they brought to Moses, but the simple ones they decided themselves. Then Moses sent his father-in-law on his way, and Jethro returned to his own country” (Exodus 18:25-27, New International Version). 

    The intent of many elders’ advice is not to offend or provoke; it is to bring peace and help from years of wisdom. While many may grow opinionated at times, or give outlandish and outdated advice, most seek out our best interests at heart. Moses knew this with Jethro, and I knew this with my Grandma. But unlike Moses, I chose to be stubborn and go my own way. I would give anything to go back and listen to her advice.

    Be Open to the Gift

    In life, God may call us to great and magnificent things. Things far greater, wider, and bigger than we could ever ask, plan, or imagine for ourselves. However, He never asks us to do so for the expense or sake of ourselves–our health, and sanity.

    It was not good for Moses to handle so many affairs on his own. Neither is it good for me and you to think we are super-humans who can go 75 miles a day, 7 days a week without a pause. There is a reason for the Sabbath. For Selah. For sharing our burdens with one another to lighten the load. 

    “Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way, you will fulfill the law of Christ” (Galatians 6:2, New International Version).  

    This is a lesson I’m still learning, but I encourage you the same: Listen to those who give you advice. Their advice may not be what you want to hear, and they may not always be right. But if they love you, it is worth a listen. They might just have your best interests at heart. 

    Agape, Amber

    Photo Credit: ©iStock/Getty Images Plus/DisobeyArt

    Amber Ginter is a young adult writer that currently works as an English teacher in Chillicothe, Ohio, and has a passionate desire to impact the world for Jesus through her love for writing, aesthetics, health/fitness, and ministry. Amber seeks to proclaim her love for Christ and the Gospel through her writing, aesthetic worship arts, and volunteer roles. She is enrolled in the YWW Author Conservatory to become a full-time author and is a featured writer for Crosswalk, ibelieve, Salem Web Network, The Rebelution, Daughter of Delight, Kallos, Anchored Passion, No Small Life, and Darling Magazine. In the past, she’s also contributed to Called Christian Writers, Southern Ohio Today News, Ohio Christian University, and The Circleville Herald. Visit her website at amberginter.com.

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  • Be an Agent of Change

    Be an Agent of Change

    I remember the day I got saved like no other. My dad and I used to stay up late playing video games, and on one beautiful summer night, the trajectory of my life would forever be changed. At 2:30 am, I was given an option between life and death.

    I wasn’t threatened to make a choice.

    I wasn’t forced to believe what Mom and Dad believed.

    I wasn’t even given the “you’re going to hell” speech.

    Nevertheless, something within my heart drew me to Jesus.

    It was not just a choice. It was my choice.

    It was not just a decision. It was my decision.

    It was not their pressed acceptance. It was my acceptance.

    A Choice

    Today, I think many good and well-intentional Christians want to save others, but they are going about it the wrong way.

    When I was in high school, for instance, I not so fondly recall reading Jonathan Edward’s pivotal sermon, “Sinners in the Hands of an Angry God.” 

    In a secular high school English class, you can imagine the horror and disdain I felt reading this as a student. All the people in my class who didn’t know God, who didn’t understand Christianity or religion, who didn’t have a view, now had the view that the God I loved and served was merely dangling them over a pit of hell. The text made it seem this was a pit of hell He would gladly drop them over the second they made a mistake. 

    What a sad view of such a loving and powerful God.

    Who God Is

    While God is a God to be feared, respected, and honored, and hell is a very real place, scaring people into salvation is not what Christ intended for us. And it certainly is not what He called us as His disciples to do.

    Yes, the gospel message requires an acknowledgment of our sins. It requires us to humble ourselves before God and realize that we all fall short of the glory of His splendor. It requires us to see that He is God and we are not. Yes, the gospel message requires us to realize that atonement was needed for our sins. That because we sinned and fell in the Garden of Eden, we were the ones who deserved condemnation and hell.

    But the gospel message also requires us to realize that because of Jesus, we can be saved. We can confess that Jesus Christ is the Lord of our lives, ask for forgiveness of our sins, and live the way He intended for us to live. We can become Gospel-Message Bearers just as He was the Light of the World.

    A Ministry of Love

    Jesus ministered to others using parables. He often taught harsh truths to the Pharisees and Sadducees (who needed harsh words to break free of their obsession with religion). But His main method of conversion was love.

    Jesus made it clear that God came to save everyone. 

    “This is good and pleases God our Savior, who wants everyone to be saved and to understand the truth” (1 Timothy 2:3-4, NLT).

    “And this is the will of God, that I should not lose even one of all those he has given me, but that I should raise them up at the last day” (John 6:39, NLT).

    Jesus made it clear that all needed to repent from sin and accept Jesus Christ as the Lord of their life:

    “For everyone has sinned; we all fall short of God’s glorious standard” (Romans 3:23, NLT).

    “If you openly declare that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved” (Romans 10:9, NLT).

    How to Treat Others

    But when Jesus met the woman at the well who’d had five husbands, He didn’t start with, “you’re going to hell.” He started with, “I know everything about you, but I’m here to offer you a way of life that will never run dry” (John 4).

    When God called Noah, and he ran away, God sent protection and love in the form of conviction (Genesis 5:29).

    When Jesus felt the tears of a prostitute flow over His feet, He didn’t tell her to get out; He let her touch Him. He let her get close, and her life was changed (Luke 7:36-50).

    As a born-again Christian, I will not minimize the seriousness of sin, salvation, heaven, or hell. All are real, and all have consequences or outcomes. But when it comes to sharing the Gospel, might I plead with you this:

    The student in my class who came from a divorced family needs to know that Jesus sees her and loves her before she’s told she’s going to Hell without Him.

    The student in my class who was the child of two people addicted to drugs needs to know that Jesus came to offer her a better way of life and love before she’s told to just go to church and figure it out.

    The student in my class who is stuck in a generational wave of mental health disorders needs to hear that God is with them in health and poverty before they’re given a blanket statement to just pray or read their Bible more.

    The student in my class who feels like religion and God are being forced down their throat needs to know and experience the love, care, and true gospel message of Christ through you before you expect them to become a follower of Christ.

    Our world needs more living out and less suppression. It needs Christians willing to live and breathe like Jesus so that others may experience Him and be saved.

    “Instead, you must worship Christ as Lord of your life. And if someone asks about your hope as a believer, always be ready to explain it. 16 But do this in a gentle and respectful way.[c] Keep your conscience clear. Then if people speak against you, they will be ashamed when they see what a good life you live because you belong to Christ” (1 Peter 3:15-16, NLT).

    Be an Effective Agent of Change

    The most effective agents of change for Christ are not those scaring people into salvation. And despite the popularity of “hell walks” at churches during Halloween, I do not believe fear has a place in the love and salvation Christ offers the sinner.

    The most effective agents of change for Christ are those who build a trusting relationship with the sinner.

    These change agents invest in those relationships by living as Christ intended them to and then present the gospel message—not to scare them but to show them a reality. Not to force them but to offer them a choice. 

    This is a choice that will change their entire life for eternity to come.

    Jesus was a friend of sinners, and so should we be. 

    Agape, Amber 

    Photo Credit: ©GettyImages/monkeybusinessimages

    Amber Ginter is a young adult writer that currently works as an English teacher in Chillicothe, Ohio, and has a passionate desire to impact the world for Jesus through her love for writing, aesthetics, health/fitness, and ministry. Amber seeks to proclaim her love for Christ and the Gospel through her writing, aesthetic worship arts, and volunteer roles. She is enrolled in the YWW Author Conservatory to become a full-time author and is a featured writer for Crosswalk, ibelieve, Salem Web Network, The Rebelution, Daughter of Delight, Kallos, Anchored Passion, No Small Life, and Darling Magazine. In the past, she’s also contributed to Called Christian Writers, Southern Ohio Today News, Ohio Christian University, and The Circleville Herald. Visit her website at amberginter.com.

    Amber Ginter

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