I grew up in South Florida. Getting ready for “winter” entailed putting on socks. Maaaybe you’d need a hoodie for the morning, but by noon, the sun made it warm enough for summerwear, once again.
But being a mommy and not only enduring the annoyance of getting myself ready for winter (I’m a legging-under-the-pants wearer) but getting a little person ready too… it’s unbearably dreadful. Truly. Between repeating myself a million times, finding all the bits and pieces to put on, and fighting my fiercely independent child, it’s quite the process.
It goes something like this…
Throw snowpants, jacket, scarf, hat and mittens on the floor.
“Do you have to go pee?” Nothing. “Cameron. Cameron! CAMERON! Do you have to go pee.”
“Um, nope.” Puts one snowpant leg on. “Um, yep.”
Goes pee. Gets halfway into putting his snowpants back on and zones out mid-dress to watch Peppa Pig. “Cameron!” Puts on snow pants. Stands there, entranced again.
Turn off the TV and hand him his coat. “No, I want to put my mittens on first.” So wait for him to put on his mittens at a snail’s pace.
Then he struggles with mittened hands to get his jacket on. “Mommy, my pants and sleeves are all scrunched up.”
Wrestle my entire arm up each coat arm and snowpant leg to reposition his clothes.
Put on his scarf while he fights me on it. “I don’t want it like that. I’ll do it.” Wraps it around too tight and balls it up to stuff under his coat, which won’t be comfortable. Now, a debate ensues on why mommy should just do his scarf until mommy takes the scarf, tosses it to the floor, and gives him a neck warmer instead. “But I don’t like this one… it itches.”
Put it over his head anyway. Zip up his jacket.
Go to put on his boots. “I want to do it! I know how!” Wait five minutes while he wriggles and rolls around in his snowsuit putting on his boots.
Mommy puts on her scarf, coat, hat, and mitts in 8.4 seconds and walks child to the door.
#truth
– Jennifer Cox
