Tower of Terror was changed to Mission: Break Out, Splash Mountain has been upgraded to Tiana’s Bayou Adventure, and now another Disney Parks attraction is being eyed for some historically accurate updates. Stephen Colbert has pitched some new dialogue to the Hall of Presidents at Disney World after an orange man will be color-clashing in his new uniform. “I used my mushroom penis to have underwhelming sex with a porn star and then committed a bunch of fraud to hide it,” shared Donald Trump’s newly imagined animatronic before teaching the kiddos what it means to be a felon. “I cannot buy a gun, and I cannot travel to Canada. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m late for my community service.” Thankfully, Disney World has plenty of trash cans.

Alejandra Gularte

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