What do you think of when you hear ‘Tantra’? To me, it speaks to wild sex positions and even wilder orgasms.
It’s also kind of intimating, because truly — I know nothing about it. I also don’t know many people that do.
Lovehoney Ambassador, Male Sex Coach and Tantric Yoga Instructor, Cam Fraser, reckons that things would be different if we Tantra was properly understood and spoken about more openly.
“Our societal expectation of Tantra, perpetuated by the likes of Sting and Gwyneth Paltrow, is that it is all about sex,” Fraser tells POPSUGAR Australia.
“But there is a rich and nuanced history which I think is just as important to be aware of as the sexual techniques taught today.”
Not to mention, that you can also practise Tantra solo.
“Again, because our societal expectations of Tantra are so wrapped up in sex, people may assume that it is a partnered practice. But there are some beautiful ways that you can engage with yourself and your own sexual experience.”
What Actually Is Tantra?
According to Fraser, Tantra is more a way of life, which then filters down into a sexual practise.
“Classical Tantra is an ancient practice that originated in India, and one of the translations of the word is ‘to weave’,” Fraser tells POPSUGAR Australia. “The historical and philosophical practice is not actually a sexual technique but a way of understanding and interacting with the world, considering everything to be divine, and within that is the part of Tantra relating to sex.”
Today’s modernised interpretation is referred to as neo-Tantra, explains Fraser, which is an offshoot focusing on the sexual aspects of the practice, placing importance on slowing down the sexual journey with a focus on experiencing pleasure, rather than the end goal of orgasm.
“Neo-Tantra combines the spiritual with the physical to create a deeper connection with a partner or yourself.”
What Are the Benefits of Practising Tantra?
Practicing neo-Tantra can have a huge number of benefits for individuals, Fraser says. These benefits include everything from extended sexual experiences, and a greater sense of relaxation and pleasure, to healing sexual trauma and the removal of sexual blocks.
“In addition to these individual benefits, tantric sex holds a lot of benefits for couples or those in a relationship. Couples who try tantric sex often experience a new and deeper connection with their partner/s, along with increased communication and trust.”
“While, for new couples or those still in the honeymoon stage, engaging a professional tantric practitioner or trying out some neo-tantric practices at home, can show that you are open to forming a deeper and more intimate connection.”
Basically, Tantra works to get you closer to your sexual self; to become comfortable with vulnerability within the physicality of sex. Things that might make you feel uncomfy in intimacy, such as direct eye contact, putting your body in certain positions or even making noise when having an orgasm — are things that Tantra can help get you comfortable with.
So, Where Do You Start With Tantra?
According to Fraser, the five things that you can do to start exploring Tantra is experiment with your breath, sound, movement, touch, and, most importantly, intention.
Here they are, broken down and in the order they should be done in. You can try these alone, or with a lover.
Breathe
Try slowing your breathing down while also relaxing your belly breathing deeply into your abdomen. Allow your belly to expand as you inhale and draw back into your spine as your exhale.
Sound
Try gently sighing as you exhale, making a little bit of sound. As you get more comfortable, try making a little more noise. You may also like to have some instrumental music on in the background.
Movement
Try slowly rocking your hips back and forth as you breathe. On the inhale, your hips tilt away from you, and on the exhale, they tilt toward your chin. Bring in some more movement and follow what feels pleasurable for you.
Touch
Try adding in some touch. Not just genital touch, but full body touch. Allow your hands to be curious as they travel across your body. Notice the sensations as you touch yourself in different ways.
Intention
All of this should be done intentionally. You may like to set the intention before you begin to simply be present with yourself and the sensations that arise. You may want your intention to be to slow down and relax. You may want to connect deeper with your own spirituality. Whatever it is, your intention is what will bring depth and meaning to the abovementioned suggestions.
Laura Roscioli
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