BILLINGSGATE POST: This morning, President Biden named Sergeant Ernie Bilko to replace Janet Yellon as Secretary of Treasury. When asked why Yellon was given the hook, the President smiled while speaking out of the other side of his mouth: “I wanted to appoint someone I could trust to skim off money for me and Hunter.”
Bilko, who studied Finance under Lieutenant Milo Minderbinder, said that, “I look forward to turning both my and the President’s economy around.”
It was Minderbinder, a fictional character in Joseph Heller’s novel, Catch-22, who inspired Sgt. Bilko to become a master of scam operations. Milo made his mark by buying eggs in Sicily for seven cents each, then selling them in Malta for five cents, and somehow, still making a profit.
He explains: “I don’t make the profit. The syndicate makes the profit. And everyone has a share.”
Minderbinder also made money by selling operational secrets to the Germans so that they could bomb his own Command; something that Hunter might be interested in.
Sergeant Bilko will be bringing his assistant, Private Doberman, with him to the Treasury, saying that he looks a lot like Janet Yellon, but is more trustworthy.
Dr. Slim: “Possibly, this is the best move yet to bring our country out of the recession.”
Dirty: “Yo, Doctor Dude. I’m heading to the bank now to draw out my money.”