The internet has slammed a mom who wants to ban her husband from the birth of their child.
In a post to Reddit‘s r/AmITheA****** sub, u/blackcompucase asked if she would be in the wrong to not allow her husband to attend the baby shower and birth of their child.
She wrote: “My husband and I have a daughter. He was happy when I told him she was a girl. We’re having another and when I had my ultrasound, I was told it was another girl, again my husband was happy.
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“Turns out I was told wrong and it’s actually a boy we’re having. My husband freaked out in excitement,” she explained.
While her husband was thrilled, the mom-to-be was left feeling uneasy.
“His reaction to us having a boy was nothing like his either of his reactions to having a girl. He was actually jumping around and yelling, he immediately called all his friends and family, he kept hugging and swinging our daughter around telling her she’s getting a brother,” she explained. “I confronted him about not being this excited about having girls, and he said ’cause I wanted a boy.’ I got so p***** off, I don’t want him at the baby shower or the birth.”
Educational and child psychologist Michele C. McDowell told Newsweek: “There could be a range of reasons why a father may be more excited for a second child. He has the benefit of experience the second time around, he knows what to expect. Studies have shown that if parents have made a positive adjustment to parenthood it can increase their self-esteem. This may contribute to the excitement of a second child.
“Studies over time have shown that there is a consistent pattern of parents treating their sons and daughters differently. This can be because of society, psychology, or biological reasons. Recent research has shown that male levels of fetal testosterone, are associated with rough and tumble play with their children,” she added.
After her husband realized she was not joking, he was really upset about not being part of the baby shower or his child’s birth.
Online, Redditors were quick to take down the mom. One comment with more than 42,000 upvotes said: “YTA [you’re the a******]. Not wanting your husband to attend a baby shower and/or the birth of his own child because he is exciting about having a son, is, honestly, one of the most mind-numbingly dumb and a******-ish things I’ve ever read in this sub.”
“I can understand your feelings over this, that has to be a little hurtful and frustrating for you. But speaking as a dad this seems like an overreaction on both parts,” said another reply. “The guy is that excited to have a son and you are wanting to deny him being at his son’s birth?”
Another unimpressed Redditor said: “That idiocy would be the end of the marriage, and good riddance to her.”
“Mom is upset thinking that dad may treat the second child differently, but she has no real evidence of that happening in the future,” said McDowell. “There are far-reaching implications if dad feels that he has been excluded from such a significant event in the family. It could impact on the family story far into the future, for example how do they explain to their children that the dad was not at the birth? It will constantly reinforce a message of differential treatment.
“If tempers are high it might be helpful to get the support of a neutral mediator,” she added.
Newsweek reached out to u/blackcompucase for comment. We could not verify the details of the case.
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