Olivia Rodrigo’s awful new Crumbl Cookie makes our teeth hurt

We love a good viral tie-in. That “Dune 2” movie theater beverage cup looks pretty interesting, and we’re still hoping McDonald’s brings back the “Rick and Morty” Szechuan sauce.

So when Olivia Rodrigo and Crumbl Cookies announced a special cookie to celebrate the kickoff of Rodrigo’s “Guts” stadium tour, we thought, “hey, we’re game.”

Crumbl Cookies is a chain of dessert stores that sells overpriced, horrifyingly sugary cookies. The menu rotates each week, giving you six different options at a time, including flavors like lemon cheesecake and classic peanut butter.

Rodrigo’s cookie will follow her around the country. When she plays a city, the local Crumbl stores will offer the cookie that week. Since her Phoenix concert at Footprint Center is Saturday and it’s only the second date on the tour, we’re among the first to try it.

The Olivia Rodrigo Guts cookie is actually two purple sugar cookies held together by vanilla buttercream frosting, rolled in sprinkles and topped with a star cutout filled with triple-berry jam.

If that sounds like a lot, it’s because it is.

This thing cost us $4.78 plus tax. It weighs 6.6 ounces. It packs a 960-calorie wallop, so it’s probably good that the target audience is teenage girls and their teenage metabolisms.

It’s all too much. On every level. The sweetness is relentless and dizzying. The moment we breached the jam barrier, it started to spill down the side of the cookie and make a mess. Our options were to suck it all up at once or allow it to pool on the plate. We let it bleed, because after a few bites for sampling purposes, there wasn’t much of a reason to keep going. We don’t need the calorie hit, and our teeth were starting to sting.

But hey, maybe we’re wrong. You can try the cookie yourself at Phoenix-area Crumbl locations through Feb. 25. Let us know what you think.