Michelangelo: “I say, if it was any bigger – THAT would be pornography!”
“Size doesn’t matter” says Michelangelo – and that should be carved in stone!
Here’s an old pic of me in Florence, Italy in 1974 at the Galleria dell’Accademia. I was there with my young family & as you can see, ‘David’ is 17 feet tall & I could’ve touched his…feet if I had a ladder! haha
Top 10 reasons sculptor Michelangelo said he made David’s penis is so small:
10. I’m a whittler & before I knew it…
9. Ask the damn DMV – they’ll tell you I can’t see sh__!
8. I carve at night & my candle kept flickering!
7. Give me a break – I was using the metric system!
6. Mikey Jr. came in & broke it off with his GI Joe tank!
5. The missus called me in to dinner, so I said, ‘WTF – done, done & done’!
4. Okay, I wanted to get back at David. I don’t want to talk about it!
3. All right, I was pressured – Goliath came in & said he knows a guy!
2. Sure, I had three whole years to do it, but the hands took too much time!
And #1: It was bigger – but marble is so cold!
Marilyn Sands is a former 80’s Stand-Up Comic & Comic Booker. Sold Jokes to Joan Rivers & lesser lights. Was up one night & wrote 2 Madcap Screenplays & a Stage Play. Her hilarious book “CAN YOU PEE OUTDOORS” On-Line Dating Straight Lines is on amazon.com/dp/1733487409And, “OWNING THE STAGE, RENTING THE BALLS”!My Life as a Funny Girlis on amazon.com/dp/1733487417″Living proofyou don’t have to be a success to write a Memoir”!And yes, this bio is my OBIT too!haha
Marilyn Sands
Source link
