Marriage isn’t for me, so my partner and I threw a ‘non-wedding’ instead

I’ve never really fancied the idea of marriage or being someone’s wife. But I am very much in love with my partner of 13 years. So, to celebrate, we decided to throw a ‘non-wedding’, instead. We’d always loved going to weddings together but always felt it wasn’t really ‘us’. But one thing we knew we wanted was a party. Yes, I wore a white dress, there were speeches, there were even tears… but no vows were exchanged, and no legal contracts were made. We chose a bar that was strenuously quirky, shamelessly kitsch and served the strongest cocktails in South East London – which suited our non-traditional event perfectly.

Some called it a commitment ceremony.

Some insisted on still calling it a wedding.

Some said we were “having our wedding cake and eating it”.

But on the invitation, we called it a ‘Til Death do us Part-y’.

We’re a 30-something heterosexual couple – we call each other ‘partner’ and we live together in a traditional way. So, what prompted the decision to not tie the knot?

Well, both sets of our parents are divorced, so it’s fair to say that we’ve not seen marriages lasting until the “death do us part” bit. Although our parents are all happy now, either in new relationships, married again or happily dating, statistics showing that nearly half of marriages end in divorce didn’t exactly make us want to rush out and book the registry office.

It’s actually our friends who have shown us that there are lots of ways to be in relationships, whether they are straight, gay, lesbian, bisexual, non-monogamous or asexual. Don’t get me wrong, most of our friends are married or want to be married, but seeing other partnership styles has changed our perspective.

Karen Hatch Photography