Rejection is difficult for everyone. And to be frank, it doesn’t matter how much you proclaim to love yourself; when faced with rejection, many of us tend to question all that we know to be true and or admire about ourselves.

Why does rejection impact us in this way?

No matter how comfortable and happy we come to be with ourselves, there’s a part of us that wants to be accepted and deemed acceptable to others. How ironic right that we could proclaim to love ourselves and still seek to be accepted and acceptable to others? But it’s an entirely natural thing. So we must be intentional about strengthening and practicing self-love daily. And that active effort will support our sensitivity to rejection, leaving us either unaffected or able to properly manage our emotional and physical response in instances of rejection.

Perception & Value…

We must choose to be intentional with learning how to perceive rejection and our response to rejection. The value that we place on rejection shapes how we perceive it. For instance, the fear of being unliked and rejected by someone liked or admired, will likely leave us feeling inadequate. With ego and pride bruised, it’s easy to perceive rejection as disrespect, even when that is not the case. Therefore, the value we place on rejection (how we perceive it) determines the intensity of rejection experienced.

How should we view rejection?

Rejection is a natural component of life. Thus, it’s inevitable. Understanding this should encourage us to place an appropriate value on rejection. I’ve learned to perceive rejection in two ways in my journey, either “not now” or “not for me”. In choosing to view rejection through the “glass half full” perspective, I am ultimately adjusting the way I perceive rejection, which grants me the ability to control how I respond to rejection.

Managing your response…

How we perceive rejection triggers an emotional and or physical response so, again, it is imperative that we first learn to attach an appropriate value to rejection. As changing the perception of rejection helps us manage our response.

Viewing rejection from a “not now” perspective allows us to remain graciously optimistic and calm when responding to rejection. It allows for the understanding that rejection doesn’t mean that we’re incapable or inadequate; it could just mean that there is something better waiting or that it is not the time to focus on this venture. Often left disassociated with rejection is redirection. Sometimes rejection means the thing, job, person, place, etc., doesn’t require our attention and focus at the time. And in those moments, we should focus on self-love, self-development and or other creative endeavors. Thus, viewing rejection from the “not for me” perspective grants the opportunity to redirect our focus onto more fulfilling endeavors. And if we let it, redirection could very well takes us to places way better than anything we had dreamed, hoped or wished for ourselves.

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Audreyanna Garrett

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