BUCKINGHAM PALACE – (Satire News) – UK writer Reggie Rickenracker with The True Dat News Agency broke the story about the queen’s alleged drug addiction.
Rickenracker got the story from King Charles III, who told him that he does not know for certain, but the rumor floating around Buck House is that QE was taking medicinal crack to deal with pain from having fallen off her fox hunting horse “Buffy.”
Charles said that his mother had seen over 12 pain specialists about her pain, which she said felt as if two huge rugby players were standing on her tummy.
Meanwhile the queen’s BFF, Piers Morgan is insisting that Lizzy (the queen) was not taking crack and added that the strongest thing he ever saw her take was half a teaspoon of hot sauce which she put on an asparagus crumpet.