HOLLYWOOD – (Satire News) – J.Lo, who at the age of 53, can still turn heads quicker than most female celebrities who are half her age – even when fully clothed.
Jenny from the Block has a stunningly beautiful figure, with an erotically fine derriere that has been described as a body part one might find in paradise.
Miss Lopez, who is also blessed with a pair of tatas that can make a blind man see and a deaf man hear, is hailed as “America’s #1 Cougar.”
J.Lo, officially known as Mrs. Ben Affleck shocked the world when she announced her latest music collaboration with none other than the 89-year-old country crooner, Willie Nelson.
Their new single “We Got Freaky Under the Stars” is set to take the music industry by storm with lyrics like “I saw the twinkle in his eye, and I knew he was the one, we played naughty knick-knack until the morning sun.”
Fans are eagerly anticipating the accompanying music video, which is rumored to feature J.Lo and Willie Nelson frolicking in a field of marijuana plants while wearing nothing but cowboy hats and boots.
