In this epic battle of nature versus nurture, nature has won.
The third season finale of FX’s vampire mockumentary What We Do in the Shadows saw the death of energy vampire Colin Robinson (Mark Proksch) as well as his rebirth into a slimy, screaming, and time-consuming infant. The most recent fourth season saw him grow quickly from there, going from an energetic toddler to a tap-dancing tween to a sullen teen within a season.
All of this happened while his de facto parents, the more canonical blood-sucking vampire Laszlo (Matt Berry) and the vampires’ human bodyguard, Guillermo (Harvey Guillén), tried to keep this version of their roommate from becoming like his annoying and frustrating predecessor: a supernatural being who gains energy by draining you of yours.
But that season finale, titled—what else for an episode about vampire parenting?—“Sunrise, Sunset,” saw Colin Robinson complete his metamorphosis into the grating-voiced and flatulent creature whom his housemates already knew. (The character is always referred to by both his first and last names; co-showrunner Paul Simms, who wrote this episode, has said that the fifth season, which premieres July 13, will get into whether these are even actually his names). To make that transformation complete, the team needed a Styrofoam wall, some “turn off that racket” music, and as little dialogue as possible.
Room Rager
Shadows has already established that these aren’t just vampires; they’re vampire hoarders. The characters’ dilapidated Staten Island Tudor is overcrowded with animals dead and alive, musty furniture, candelabras, and dusty books.
It’s hard to put a value on specific things when time has no meaning. And Colin Robinson’s quest will only reinforce this notion.
It begins as he’s banging holes in his bedroom wall whilst blasting death metal, a music choice that serves the dual purpose of covering up the first action and really irritating his roommates, (or, as episode director Kyle Newacheck puts it, is an example of how the character was “starting to learn how to feed in that state”).
The look of bewilderment when one of his holes uncovers a film canister suggests Colin Robinson is operating out of instinct rather than with a known purpose. As the show’s score quickens, he rushes through the house’s tight hallways to find a projector and lug it downstairs.
The found footage has more clues, pointing out where else Colin Robinson should hit and in what order. It’s then that he discovers energy vampire nirvana: a long hallway lit like a fluorescent-hued forgotten side room of a public library. There are meticulously hung beige and brown sweaters and slacks (some Proksch had actually worn on the show), and detailed diary entries that, among other things, suggest one of the character’s boring rants was the impetus for the events in the movie Se7en.
As he makes himself at home in an uncomfortable chair for innumerable hours of reading, teen Colin Robinson’s hair falls out and his posture changes. Behold: The energy vampire’s metaphorical butterfly wings begin to flap.
“The Color Within the Darkness”
Newacheck says he and the production team had about two weeks to build “the huge science project,” which was a wall of Styrofoam blocks that could smash open, plus the secret room, which had to be constructed so that it connected to the bedroom set. Audiences had already seen Colin Robinson’s room, which is tiny and sparse, with only two pieces of art that hang on separate walls. Newacheck decided that those paintings could be what he calls “visual coding” for the character to learn where to line up the projector. Music supervisor Nora Felder chose “Forbidden Lies” by A Creatures Cage and “Killing Engine” by Andy James, Jan Cyrka, and Christopher Clancy to play during the hammering, both of which exude a “turn off that racket” vibe.
Whitney Friedlander
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