Lacking confidence can really hold you back in life. You need to feel confident to have the courage to try new things, meet new people and succeed in your career. When you feel inwardly confident it shows on the outside and other people will be more drawn towards you and listen to you. Nobody feels confident all of the time and if they say they do then, I’m sorry but, they are lying to you. Even if you consider yourself to be a fairly confident individual there are always areas of life where you can improve your confidence. In this post I’m going to show you a simple “how to” guide for giving your confidence that little boost it needs.

Before we head straight to the guide I want to just quickly outline confidence and characteristics as I think this will help.

What is confidence?

Confidence is a belief or a feeling you have that you can positively rely on a person to achieve something. Some people describe it as having faith in a person. Self-confidence is therefore your own feeling or belief that you can achieve something.

Characteristics of confident people

  • They don’t mind asking for help
  • They can make decisions quickly
  • They don’t care what others think
  • If they can’t control a situation they don’t worry about it
  • They can be assertive
  • They are happy to meet new people
  • Talking in front of crowd is not a problem
  • Perseverance comes naturally to them
  • They don’t feel the need to judge others
  • They have a positive outlook on life
  • They are great listeners
  • They are risk takers and aren’t afraid to make mistakes

What causes lack of confidence and low self-esteem?

Confidence and self-esteem are not exactly the same thing, but they are definitely linked. There are so many reasons why you might lack confidence (you belief in your ability to do something) or self-esteem (whether you appreciate and value yourself or not) but some of the most common reasons are:

Low self-esteem can be caused by a difficult time in your life for example a death of a loved one or if you have been seriously ill. It is also possible that it can be partly due to your personality, and you have no control over that really. Some people are just more prone to having to having a negative outlook on life. If you are a person who is determined to set over high standards for yourself then you will naturally fail many times because your expectations aren’t realistic, and this could trigger low self-esteem too.

Lack of confidence can stem from your child hood if you were unfortunate enough to have parents who criticised you a lot. Maybe you weren’t very academic at school and that can leave you lacking confidence as well. A constant inability to support your family financially may also trigger a feeling of lack of confidence and any other situation where you may feel you have failed.

My top tips on how to build up your self-esteem and improve your confidence

A simple guide to improve your confidence and self-esteem

Eat a healthy, balanced diet to boost energy levels.

If you feel healthy on the inside you will have the physical and emotional strength to tackle issues that arise more effectively.

Get the right amount of sleep to help yourself to feel happier and more positive.

The world always seems like a daunting place when you are tired. I have said to my kids many times to sleep and figure things out in the morning. Your brain cannot process information as well as it should when you are tired, and problems seem bigger and harder to tackle. Attack them with a fresh outlook in the morning and chances are you will solve the issue in no time.

Exercise regularly to improve your body image.

If you look healthy and physically fit you will feel more confident to be seen by other people. Set up a regular fitness routine that fits around you day to make sure it become a habit and doesn’t become a chore.

Practise positive self-talk to improve your confidence.

If you don’t think about yourself in a positive way then how do you expect other people to. Try to find the positive in all situations and that includes how you are performing or behaving, not just other people around you. For example: If you cook a meal for the family and it doesn’t turn out quite how you thought don’t put yourself down and think you are a rubbish cook. Take any feedback as an opportunity to improve it next time and praise yourself for having a go.

Don’t compare yourself to other people.

Everyone is different. You are totally unique and any comparisons you make to other people will not be valid or relevant so just don’t do it. Don’t use other people as a benchmark for yourself. Set your own personal benchmarks.

Eliminate toxic people who make you feel bad about yourself.

When we are children and when we become adults we come across people who have a negative vibe about them. Sometimes it’s hard to see why they behave the way they do towards you, but I know for sure that allowing anyone to make you feel bad about yourself is not healthy. If you can, you should eliminate them from your life as quickly as you can.

Surround yourself with people who are kind, make you feel happy and leave you feeling good about yourself. If there is someone like this that you have on your phone and you dread seeing their name pop up on your mobile screen then block them and remove them from your social media right now. You don’t need them.

Trust me you will feel like a weight has been lifted.

Practise meditation to improve your confidence.

Meditation can have such a soothing effect, and if you do it regularly it can really boost your inner energy and feeling of positivity. Having this in a strength will help you to tackle daily challenges with confidence and calm.

If you haven’t tried meditation before and want some more info have a look at my post Om for Meditation – 18 Surprising Benefits of Chanting Om.

Focus on self-compassion.

Make sure you take time to focus on yourself. It is not selfish in anyway to take some me time. Treat yourself now and then just because you can and look after your body. It’s the only one you have. Self love and self-care should be part of your daily routine. Keeping on top of this will ensure your emotional energy reserves are kept topped up. Being kind to yourself is more important than you think.

Push yourself outside your comfort zone.

Each time you step outside of your confidence zone you learn new things and you over come fears that may hinder you in the future. Now I’m not saying go and jump out of a plane tomorrow but maybe start with something small like trying a food that you have been avoiding. Once you have achieved this step you will soon realise you are more capable than you think.


Me Time – Useful tips and ideas

Self-worth Affirmations: How to Boost Your Self-esteem


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