The older I get, the less willing I am to deal with the consequences of alcohol. I don’t care for the brain fog, sluggishness, and occasional depression it brings the following day. It’s why I’ve begun to embrace the legal cannabis products that have popped up in stores all over Charlotte.
The number of products, types, strains, and dosages can be so intimidating that it seems a horticulture degree is required to guard against nibbling your way into a 6-hour fetal position. So I went to 2024 BOB Winner Seed to Soul to get an education. After talking through the what, why, and how of their extensive offerings, I left with two heavy bags and a lighter wallet. (Good quality cannabis products come with top-shelf liquor prices.)
I tried five different products, noted my dosage and effects, then rated them on four factors: hunger, sleepiness, productivity, and ability to be social. Like our 50 Best Restaurants list, this is the hard research assignments we do for you, our beloved readers.
*If you’re new to this, please see the important notes for beginners at the end.
The Sacred Leaf, Pain Be Gone Gummies
Dosage: 42mg THC per square
How Much I Took: Around 5mg (I cut the sizable square into eighths)
Consumption: 8:12pm
Effects Felt: 9:00pm
My neck had been killing me for a few days, so I decided to start with a pain-reducing edible. When the effects began, I had the vague sensation of floating on a raft in a wave pool, which was rather delightful. I felt overwhelmed at the prospect of choosing what to watch on Netflix and scrolled through Instagram for about 20 minutes. I might have stayed in that zone for hours but was compelled to eat and mowed down half a bag of tortilla chips and a chocolate protein bar.
This is a good product if you want to chill, be unproductive, and float. It didn’t make me sleepy, but this is not a social edible. If you want to listen to music and look up at the stars, this is your friend. Oh, and as for pain relief, this is a winner. My initial pain didn’t even register, and I did ponder for a few moments whether I even had a neck or if my head was simply floating atop my shoulders.
Hunger: 4/5
Sleepiness: 2/5
Ability to Engage with Others: 2/5
Productivity: 1/5
Celestial Cannabis Cosmic Crunch Bites
Dosage: 25mg HHC per square
How Much I Took: About 6 mg total
Consumption: First 3 mg nibble at 4:30 pm, then another nibble around 6:30
Effects Felt: Unclear
This was a bit of a risk. I had to attend a golfers’ dinner at a country club where I am supposed to mind my p’s and q’s, but as someone who believes small talk should be criminalized, I needed something to make this tolerable. The Cosmic Crunch claims “social and creative relief” right on the label, and it did indeed deliver. I never felt stoned in the traditional sense. It felt more as if the spirit of a Vince Vaughn character overtook me. I was gregarious, comical, relaxed, and generally open and interested to chatting with strangers. All the while, I had my wits about me and felt in control of myself. If you loathe social events and small talk, or if you simply want to add a little zip to a social experience, this is your gummy.
Hunger: 2/5
Sleepiness: 1/5
Ability to Engage with Others: 5/5
Productivity: 4/5
Higher Ground Sex Intimacy Blend Gummies
Dosage: 100mg CBD + 2mg D8 THC + 3mg D9 THC per gummy
How Much I Took: one whole gummy
Consumption: 6:50pm
Effects Felt: 8:00pm
In an act of service to all the other married readers out there, I thought I’d give this product a whirl to see if it offered any zest or change in flavor to the meal we’ve been eating for years. These edibles list schisandra, maca root, damiana, and muira puama in their beneficial ingredients. I don’t know what any of those things are, and I’m not sure they really matter. While I did experience heightened sensation and desire for touch, I would have preferred having my hair brushed for an hour rather than do the deed. The only thing intimate that occurred that evening was that my husband and I went to sleep at the same time (I am normally up hours later). While I imagine sex would have been highly pleasurable, the only sex I was capable of was penetration without participation. I did have sexual dreams that night.
If you are too high-strung to enjoy having your guitar strummed, this might be the product for you.
Hunger: 1/5
Sleepiness: 4/5
Ability to Engage with Others: 3/5
Productivity: 1/5
Celestial Cannabis Lemon Boost Cannabis Cocktail
Dosage: 70mg Delta 9 THC + 4mg THCP
How Much I Took: 3 capfuls (probably around 2mg)
Consumption: 5:20pm
Effects Felt: 5:45pm
These are not like cannabis seltzers, which you consume like a beer. Treat this bottle like a drink additive or mixer. I poured three capfuls into a glass of kombucha and enjoyed it like a mocktail. It hits notably quicker than a gummy and gives a pleasant, gentle nudge that even the most cannabis-adverse control freak would enjoy. I was cooking dinner when I began to feel it and actually said aloud, alright, alright, alright, which explains the genesis of this Matthew McConaughey utterance.
It also differed from a gummy in that the effects wore off after about 90 minutes. Because this drinkable product allows you to control and play with the dosage, I would highly recommend this product as a good starter product for the cannabis-curious.
Hunger: 1/5
Sleepiness: 1/5
Ability to Engage with Others: 4/5
Productivity: 4/5
Rosin Roots Enlighten Edibles
Dosage: 16mg Delta9 + 1mg Delta8
How Much I Took: 1/4 of the circular gummy
Consumption: 7:20pm
Effects Felt: 8:15pm
If you are a content creator, podcast host, or in any sort of creative field where you must generate ideas—this should replace your daily cup of coffee. It felt like an amphetamine for the mind without the body jitters or racing heart. I had lots of thoughts I wanted to discuss but a husband buried in a historical novel who would only give me an occasional side-eye in response. (That’s the great thing about cannabis over alcohol: I was fully aware of how I was annoying him and adjusted accordingly. Booze will have you believing you just have to repeatedly explain yourself.)
I spared my husband my brainstorming session and got lost in a Facebook thread about the current season of The Real Housewives of New Jersey, which led me to mull the quadratic formula for what makes a successful cast and season of the franchised show. To that end, I went to the notes section of my phone and began a running list of the perfect cast for The Real Housewives of Charlotte. Only my fellow Bravo-loving Charlotteans could vouch for this, but tell me I’m not onto something here: Angie Harmon, Liz Hilliard, Regine Bechtler, Paula Kranz, Alane Paraison, Esezele Payne, Pam Stowe, Emily Maynard, and Jess Vestal. I want it as a viewer, and I want it as a recap writer.
Hunger: 2/5
Sleepiness: 1/5
Ability to Engage with Others: 4/5
Productivity: 5/5
A few notes for edible cannabis beginners:
- Don’t pop a cannabis product after you’ve been drinking. If you’re new, newish, or reemerging, you can discover what works for you only if you don’t mix with any other substance. And popping an edible after you’ve been boozing can be unpleasant and nauseating.
- Do not follow the dosage instructions on the package. They all say to either start with one or a half. Depending on the dosage, that can be insanely excessive. Everyone is different, but if you are a beginner, do the math and nibble off somewhere in the 3-mg range. If you have your weed legs but are new to edibles, hover around the 5-to-7-mg bite. Unlike the smoking days of yore when effects dwindled by the end of an episode of Loveline, once you take an edible, you’re locked in for several hours.
- Give it time to kick in. Everyone’s metabolism is different, but don’t go for more until two hours have passed. The adage is that edibles kick in only when they hear you talking about how weak they are.
- Until you know what works for you, try this only at home. You don’t want to be around a lot of people, or in a public setting, until you know how you will feel.
Amanda Pagliarini Howard
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